Latest / Pursuit of Sassiness / Alone Or On Your Own?

Transcript

Alone Or On Your Own? · Pursuit of Sassiness

• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to I Do Part two.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: It's your celebrity mentor Kelly Ben Simone and you hear
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: us on every episode. We tell you listeners to call
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: us and email us. The podcast is for you. I'm
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: so excited today because it's exactly what we're doing, she
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: wrote to us. She's a real life gal in her
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: I Do Part two chapter and I can't.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Wait to get to know all about her. Welcome Kate
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: to the pod. Hi Kate, how are you?
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: Bye? Thank you? Thank you so much for having me.
• 0:44
  Speaker 4: I love this subject so I actually I can't wait
• 0:47
  Speaker 4: to break all this down.
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: There's so much.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: Oh my god.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm so excited that you're open to this. So
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: first of all, congratulations being on the podcast. We have
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: a lot to deep dive deep into. So first of all,
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: how long have you been divorced?
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: I have been divorced three years.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: And how long were you guys married?
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: We were married for seventeen and a half years.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, Kate, that is crazy. Wait, how are
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: you feeling?
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: I feel amazing right now.
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: I feel lighter.
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: It sounds cliche, but I truly smell the roses now,
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: even this morning out my window. They're the same roses
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: that have been there for sixteen years, and it's really
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: just recently, I'm just I take the little things in now.
• 1:49
  Speaker 4: I'm just so much more grateful, whether you know it's
• 1:54
  Speaker 4: the roses or being with friends. So yeah, I'm feeling great.
• 1:59
  Speaker 4: That's not to say there aren't many highs and lows
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: of this.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, Oh my godness. Wait, so do you
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: do you have children?
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: I do. I have one sixteen year old, a boy.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: You have a sixteen year old. You look like you
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: are sixteen. Oh my god. So you have a sixteen
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: year old.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: And I'm forty nine.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: You do not look forty nine. Gorgeous.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: So you have a little boy sixteen. So he's in
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: the middle of his own maturation process.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: So walk me through now that.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: You're single after seventeen years, walk me through, like how
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: you're dating with a younger son.
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: I wouldn't be dating if he didn't give me the okay.
• 2:41
  Speaker 4: So it was at the a about two year mark,
• 2:47
  Speaker 4: and he had been out of town and I had
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: gone on a lunch date on one day and a
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: dinner date on on the other.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: And when he asked me what I had.
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: Done over the weekend, it happened organically, and I told
• 3:03
  Speaker 4: him I had gone out on two dates and he said,
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: as long as they aren't weird and make me happy,
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: that he doesn't mind. Kind of a typical boy teenager.
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: I don't know what it would be like with a daughter.
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: I think maybe it would be harder. But my son
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: knows about me dating and he yes, he's very supportive.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: So a lot of a lot of our listeners ask
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: about how to navigate dating with children.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: And I also had I had very.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: Young girls when I when I got separated and divorced
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: from my ex husband.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: We were married for over ten years, and it.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: Was really difficult because on the one hand, I wanted,
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: you know, I always wanted a family for my family,
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: So I was like, oh my gosh, okay, how am I.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: Going to what does this look like? What is this
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: you know, going to be like?
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: And I just I was so nervous to introduce that
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: to anyone for for a very very long time. And
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: you know, even when I would be introducing them, it
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: would be like a big group of people, so they
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: didn't even know like who was who. They're like, oh, yeah,
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: that's so one she works with it. They never really knew,
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: like what was what? So I love that you guys
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: are having this transparent conversation and I love that he's
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: supporting you.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's so so sweet. It's so sweet.
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: Now having said that, he has not well, he has
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: not met anybody I've dated, because I would want to
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: be in love before I introduced him to anybody. So
• 4:37
  Speaker 4: I haven't even come close of wanting to introduce him
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: to anybody, even though I have met some wonderful people.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: And so just like, I mean, that's just a big statement,
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: like to being in love. I mean, are you are
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: you nervous about doing that at some point?
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: I'm not nervous because it hasn't even come close to that.
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: You're like, not even close. I've only been dating a year.
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: And when I say.
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: That, I mean it's not like I'm going on all
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: these dates all the time. They're just obviously being a
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: mom that that doesn't happen.
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: They're woven into your free time.
• 5:21
  Speaker 4: Yes, And so I am not scared or it does
• 5:26
  Speaker 4: not make me nervous because I know the person I
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: introduce him to it will be a long term relationship.
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: And I and I want to keep my dating separate
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: from him, right.
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: I appreciate that, and it's I mean, it's also difficult
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: too because he's going, you know, he's in that magituation
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: process and he's like, you know, hormonally, I'm sure, like
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: all over the place and he's looking at girls.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: And then he's like, wait, my mom is dating. I'm dating.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: This is weird.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: Wait I'm pros saying this. I'm like, wait, this is weird.
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: But I love how your handle it.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: So how have you been dating? Have you been just
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: been meeting people?
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: Are you telling your friends, hey, I'm single, Like, what's
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: what's what have you been doing?
• 6:09
  Speaker 4: So the first two dates I went on, I was
• 6:12
  Speaker 4: set up through mutual friends.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: Okay, how is that?
• 6:16
  Speaker 4: And I think it was so important for me to
• 6:21
  Speaker 4: rip the band aid.
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: It is very It is not for the faint of heart.
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: It is so difficult.
• 6:27
  Speaker 4: Even the getting ready process, something you do all the
• 6:30
  Speaker 4: time that you think nothing of it, and even when
• 6:33
  Speaker 4: they're not cute you it's just very nerve wracking. It
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: is very nerve wracking.
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: The going going with a total stranger.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: You have to give yourself a bone. I mean it
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: has been two decades. I mean you were dressing for
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: your husband and now you're dressing for a day. It's
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: a totally kind of getting dressed. Okay, wait, tell me, like,
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: so what's your go to off it do you have?
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: Like okay, do you have a go.
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: To Oh well, it depends.
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: I live in the suburbs and I do love to
• 7:08
  Speaker 4: go into the city for day and so, and it
• 7:13
  Speaker 4: depends on the time of year and the location and
• 7:18
  Speaker 4: what we're doing.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: It look great right now, So this is like, this
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: is like a vibe, This is like a thing.
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: This is I have my child's sporting event to go
• 7:28
  Speaker 4: to this afternoon, and it is going to be hot,
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: and I'm wearing the school colors.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: Okay, well you look great. Green looks really good on you.
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: You know I always when people ask me, like what
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: colors to what to wear? I always say, like, something colorful,
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: because you know, men really love red, they love color.
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: I mean the you know, women are always like I'm
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: wearing black. Women don't necessarily. You know, one of my
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: friends who owned a store, she was like, are you
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: dressing for men? Are you dressing for women? And like, well,
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: when you're on date, you're dressing for men. So men
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: do tend to like more colorful things. You look you
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: look rate in color, so you should wear more color
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: that looks really good.
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: I'm just curious you're like a blazer girl or are
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: you like shirt?
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: Uh, Cammi, Cammi blazer jeans. I went on a date
• 8:16
  Speaker 4: a couple of weeks ago. I love Stod and in fact,
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: this is Stad and I had a Stad skirt.
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: With just a tank.
• 8:26
  Speaker 4: I I like to keep it simple, classic, true, true
• 8:31
  Speaker 4: to my personality and what I what I like to wear,
• 8:36
  Speaker 4: you can't beat. For summer, I loved my white Chris
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: blouse tied a little bit with white jeans. And it
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: was a super casual place, so some sneakers honestly to
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: just make it fun because it was. It was a
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: meet and greet in the like around for four to
• 8:58
  Speaker 4: six hours, so to speak.
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: So I also don't want to look too dolled up.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: Right, But let's let's talk about that because I mean,
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: obviously you're really pretty. And so when you're doing these
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: meet and greek do you prefer like do you prefer dinner?
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: Do you prefer you know, having a cocktail?
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: Like? What is it? What exactly is a meat and greet?
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: Let me in on this. I need to know this one.
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: I called a meet and greet because he lived out
• 9:22
  Speaker 4: of town and he was picking up his daughter from college,
• 9:27
  Speaker 4: and so he was in town and he only had
• 9:31
  Speaker 4: a two hour window, which fantastic because we did not
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: do a FaceTime before, which I do like a FaceTime
• 9:38
  Speaker 4: before to.
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: Cut down on nerves.
• 9:40
  Speaker 4: Okay, so it was I mean obviously at his picture,
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: but you never know with the picture. So that's why
• 9:46
  Speaker 4: I called it a meet and greek because it was.
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: There was a hard stop, which was amazing because check
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: the box.
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: I got a date.
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: In I met somebody new and I was home in
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: my JAMMI and all comfy and watching a show.
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: You know, it wasn't late because I did. I didn't
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: go out with him again.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: It was a My goal is to wait wait before wait,
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: wait before you tell me your goal. I just I'm
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: obsessed with this. So because I love how you are.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: I love that you're like, Okay, I'm dating, this is
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: me dating. This is I'm going to dress the part.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: I'm going to be one hundred percent there for it
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: with my meet and greet, and then I have a
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: hard stop because I need to go home to my
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: jammys and to my favorite show.
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: He gave me this out of having the hard stop.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: Oh he did what he's saying.
• 10:37
  Speaker 4: He was in town before we set up the date.
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: He was in town to pick up his daughter from college,
• 10:44
  Speaker 4: so he had to pick her up at a certain
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: time at college. So we even take out for her
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: because she was going to be hungry, and I'm like, oh,
• 10:53
  Speaker 4: she would like this, she would like that. It's like,
• 10:57
  Speaker 4: so I didn't have to have that anxietiety of wanting
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: to high tail it and get out of there, because
• 11:04
  Speaker 4: it was a lovely.
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: I have the mentality on I think people.
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: I mean, they're great people, And am I like super
• 11:16
  Speaker 4: attracted to them or am I feeling sparks? No, But
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: I think to sit down to a nice meal and
• 11:23
  Speaker 4: get to know somebody that I find interesting, I enjoy,
• 11:29
  Speaker 4: I enjoy the time. I just don't want to necessarily
• 11:31
  Speaker 4: go again or you know, continue continue, you know, to
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: explore it further, so to speak.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: So having said that, what do you think has changed
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: with the dating scene, Because obviously it's been two decades
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: since you've been on these dates, and all of a
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: sudden you're like doing these meet and greets and face times.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: So what do you think has changed?
• 11:52
  Speaker 4: We are all checking boxes right, No, when I was young,
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: it is so boy me girl, girl thinks boy is
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: super hot, and the boys into the girl. And you've
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: met because you've gone to the same college and your
• 12:10
  Speaker 4: sorority you know does things with his fraternity, or you've
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: met during young adulting and you meet you know, you meet, oh,
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: you meet at work, and it's based.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: On like Jess, chemical attraction.
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: Connecting. You're not.
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: Mentally going through your checkboxes because this part too so
• 12:37
  Speaker 4: to speak of, which I am super excited for.
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: But at the same time, if it doesn't happen, I am.
• 12:47
  Speaker 4: I really am at peace for that because I don't
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: know if it will. Well.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: Also, that's good though you have to stay I mean,
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: I think that one of the most important parts of
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: this I do era is that you're staying calm and
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: that you're celebrating yourself and all of these new possibilities
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: and opportunities. I mean, you never know, Like I mean,
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: I think that's one thing for me because I called
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: off my wedding last year, four days before I supposed
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: to get married, and so you know, for me, I'm
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: not thank you.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: I mean, it still feels like that could feel like
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: a divorce.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: Like yeah, it just was like very It just made
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: me feel very really really like very insecure. But I
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: think one of the things that I've learned through this
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: whole process is that I'm just more relaxed with who
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: I am and like I want I obviously want men
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: to you know, be.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: Attracted me in all these things, but I also want
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: to just feel good myself.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: I'm just very I'm like very happy with that. Okay,
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: what kind of guys do you like?
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: Let's get into it.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: Come on, cake, give me the teeth, come on, Okay,
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: what kind of guys do you like?
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: So younger older?
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: Brunet Speaking of older, I mentioned that I'm forty nine.
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: Well, I mean, you're not old, no one, you're forty nine,
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: But I don't like the whole older.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: I mean, have you seen yourself in the mirror? You're gorgeous, Like, okay, ages,
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: it's a number. I know, you're gorgeous. You could date anyone.
• 14:12
  Speaker 4: The only people that I have been out with are
• 14:17
  Speaker 4: fifty eight, fifty fifty nine.
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: And there was one guy that on his.
• 14:21
  Speaker 4: Profile said he was fifty four. To his credit, he
• 14:24
  Speaker 4: looked dang good for sixty. And when I asked him
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: on his date, you know, I weave it in like.
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: Oh, when's your birthday?
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: Oh wow?
• 14:31
  Speaker 4: And then I say, oh, I just turned forty nine,
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: Like how old are you?
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: He absolutely wouldn't answer it.
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: Well, it's called Google, Like, I just I'm positive he
• 14:40
  Speaker 4: was sixty.
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: So okay, but hold on, So how do you care
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: if he's not his age?
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: You?
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't, you know, I don't.
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: I really don't.
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: I just feel I'm not saying that it couldn't work.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: Do you think these guys are like nervous about their age?
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: I mean, do you think the tables have turned are
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: like we like, are we now? The ones that are like,
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: oh my god, why are you lying at your age?
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: Because women were like the men are like, they're lying
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: about their age. It's like, and so are you?
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah. This it hasn't happened once.
• 15:12
  Speaker 4: It's happened a couple times, and at least one guy
• 15:14
  Speaker 4: he totally owned up.
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: What app?
• 15:17
  Speaker 4: Was it one of the apps? I think if you
• 15:20
  Speaker 4: I don't know what it is? He said it was
• 15:22
  Speaker 4: the AP's phalt. Okay, let's give him the benefit of
• 15:24
  Speaker 4: the doubt. It was the apsphalt, but I think ten
• 15:28
  Speaker 4: years older than I am, I would prefer like I would.
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: Prefer fifty two, fifty three, fifty.
• 15:34
  Speaker 4: Four, fifty five, but I don't know sixty for me
• 15:38
  Speaker 4: at forty nine, I'm not saying never.
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: But you know, it's just interesting that it has all
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: been that age group.
• 15:50
  Speaker 4: And then I think a lot about Okay, well, as
• 15:53
  Speaker 4: the years go on, does that mean then my dating
• 15:56
  Speaker 4: pool is going to be Like if I'm in my
• 15:58
  Speaker 4: mid fifties, is it then going to be the sixties?
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: And that's kind of overwhelming and scary to think about.
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: Okay, but let's so, now that we've talked about the
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: guys that are around your age, what about the guys.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: That are younger?
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: Never tried it?
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: You never know?
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: Right on the apps, some of the.
• 16:19
  Speaker 4: Some of the younger so forty forty four, some of
• 16:22
  Speaker 4: them they haven't had kids yet and they want kids,
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: and that for me is right sales.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Okay, what about then if that's the case, Well,
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: what about guys that just don't want kids?
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: What about if they're like younger than what about their
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: late thirties. There's a lot of way when to stay younger.
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: I don't if they haven't had kids.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: You a lot of energy to your fun. You're like vivacious.
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: I am, yes, so you need someone that.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: Has good energy, positive but.
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: I am looking for somebody that's family oriented. Of course,
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: the normal characteristics that we want in all the humans
• 17:07
  Speaker 4: that we surround ourselves with, kind, loving, consistent values, values.
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: Me and lets me be myself.
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: One of the people I dated and he was fantastic,
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: there just wasn't the physical connection for me. I love
• 17:28
  Speaker 4: how I was completely unfiltered. I just he let me
• 17:35
  Speaker 4: be me and he made me feel like a million bucks.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: But that sounds amazing. I love that. I know, like
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: a million bucks. I know you should feel like that.
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: I know. But for the long term, it just there
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: wasn't the chemistry even though he So that's a great question.
• 17:56
  Speaker 4: Even though he made me feel this way, there just
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: wasn't the chemistry where I can show you a picture
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: from an event we went to.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: But anyway, yeah, so what about have you been only
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: been dating divorce men or single dads or what's been like.
• 18:13
  Speaker 4: Your So I actually have been out on two dates
• 18:18
  Speaker 4: with two separate widowska rest have been divorce single dads,
• 18:26
  Speaker 4: and I do really connect with.
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: The single dads because I love kids.
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: I love well, particularly because it's the stage of life
• 18:38
  Speaker 4: I'm in. I love hearing all about the teens, all
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: about the young I call it the adulting stage, which
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: is like the second four years, you know, post college.
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: These kids who are living in New York, like living
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: their best life.
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: I'm I'm all about that.
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: So I definitely connect with men on on that level.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: What was it like to date a widower? What was
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: that like?
• 19:05
  Speaker 4: They were both lovely? The first widower was only my
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: second date? Whoa he was only my second date.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: Did you know that from the start that he was
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: a widower or you found that out?
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: Yes, it was a setup and it just felt like
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: yet he was.
• 19:28
  Speaker 4: A type of guy I definitely, you know, should like
• 19:31
  Speaker 4: like just a good a good family man, a good person.
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: He actually lived.
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: About twenty five minutes away, so I had I had,
• 19:41
  Speaker 4: I had background, which is nice versus when you're when
• 19:45
  Speaker 4: you're on on the apps, and so it was a
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: it was a great It was a great date.
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: The end of the date, did I.
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: Oh so on the way home when they put mints
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: in their mouth? Because I was such a newbie on this,
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: but I kind of thought it what.
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: God, why is he in his mouth? And why is
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: he offering me a mint? Even though I enjoyed myself,
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: I have.
• 20:09
  Speaker 4: No desire, you know, to kiss him, and so I
• 20:12
  Speaker 4: just give kind of the halfway hug, you know, goodbye,
• 20:17
  Speaker 4: and and he asked if I would want to do
• 20:21
  Speaker 4: something again, and because I'm being open minded, you know,
• 20:26
  Speaker 4: I say sure.
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: And then he.
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: Reaches back out just to like ask a question, and
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: I answer the question. And then I went through the
• 20:37
  Speaker 4: phase of wait, why isn't he texted in a couple
• 20:42
  Speaker 4: of days? But what is going on? I wasn't that
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: into him, So it was a little bit of a
• 20:47
  Speaker 4: wake up call, I have to say.
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: And then he continued texting, Wait.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: So hold on, So he didn't text you for a
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: couple of days, and then he started up again.
• 21:00
  Speaker 4: Correct, correct, And he asked a question. And I'm a
• 21:08
  Speaker 4: detailed person and I kind of didn't know the whole
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: I'm not calling it a game, but there is. When
• 21:15
  Speaker 4: you're used to being with somebody for so long, your
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: text can be long. And it's just one thing that
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: I taught myself that in the beginning, like keep.
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: It short, keep it short.
• 21:28
  Speaker 4: And he asked me like what I was doing or
• 21:31
  Speaker 4: something like that, and I went pretty detailed and I
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: never heard from him again. To be honest, now I
• 21:38
  Speaker 4: did find out he had been seeing somebody before he
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: took me out, I think is the story.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: Okay, so you were basically goes to by a widower,
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: But what shouldn't he.
• 21:48
  Speaker 4: Be like I was, Annie has a dad, Bob.
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: Hold on, but don't you think don't you think I
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: should be like, oh, feel okay to be like you
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: know their girlfriends say to them if you're going to
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: go on a date, just people like and just say
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: thank you so much, like you know, you know, I'm
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: just dating right now.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: I love seeing you. I mean, I just think it's
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: so I think it's.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: Just I don't know, it hurts my like hurts my
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: feelings if someone regard, even in work or anything, if
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: someone doesn't respond.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: So I'm always like, thank you so much, like it
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: was really nice seeing you. Even if I'm interested.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: Or not interested in anything, I'm always I always respond.
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: And I feel like at our age, like we're of
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: the generation where we do like do that and but wow, I.
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: Can't agree with you more.
• 22:32
  Speaker 4: I never got and it is uncomfortable and you do
• 22:36
  Speaker 4: feel bad, but it's much better to just say, hey,
• 22:41
  Speaker 4: I had a really good time.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: By the way, Like, you never know who you're going
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: to meet from somebody, So if I don't necessarily you
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: know what I was when I when I'm dating, I'm like,
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: I don't know who I'm going to meet.
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: And that's part of it too.
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: Just because you're going in a date doesn't mean you're
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: like locked in for life. Let's talk about quicker or
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: slower in terms of the physical aspect. Do you think
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: these guys are taking these you know, popping them int,
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: going for the kiss and then pull them in tight
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: and trying to like have a deeper connection.
• 23:18
  Speaker 4: I'm very good with my boundaries, very good with my boundaries.
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: Do I feel like they would probably?
• 23:27
  Speaker 4: Yes, would they want to take it further right off
• 23:30
  Speaker 4: the bat, one hundred and ten percent.
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: I just.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: Can I interview you every day because you're amazing.
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: And that's why.
• 23:40
  Speaker 4: That's why after a couple of dates, it's not necessarily
• 23:46
  Speaker 4: that they're putting the pressure the pressure, but.
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: I don't.
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: I don't want them to continue taking me out if
• 23:55
  Speaker 4: I am just enjoying the company and I think they're
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: a really great person because ultimately, you know, it should
• 24:06
  Speaker 4: lead to a physical, you know, connection, And if I'm
• 24:13
  Speaker 4: not going, if I don't see myself going down that path,
• 24:16
  Speaker 4: then we shouldn't continue on the dates.
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: And another thing I learned is.
• 24:22
  Speaker 4: Sometimes when I see if I can't picture myself ever
• 24:27
  Speaker 4: staying the night in their space, if I feel like
• 24:32
  Speaker 4: I wouldn't, it's happened well a couple of times. If
• 24:39
  Speaker 4: I can't say, see myself feeling comfortable staying the night,
• 24:44
  Speaker 4: then I shouldn't continue.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: Well, you also have like a really nice aesthetic.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: I mean, your vibe is so great, and so I
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: think that's probably part, Like you're clearly visual. But I
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: think it interesting because I have I've got I mean
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: I've gone on dates and like some guys I'll kiss
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: and some guys I won't. And like I one guy
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: be like, oh, yeah, we were like we went on
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: in a couple of days after I was like, oh yeah,
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: you know first day, Yeah, she wouldn't kiss me. And
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: I'm like, why is this common knowledge? Why is everyone
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: to know this? And it's just it's just something that
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: happens or doesn't happen. I don't think it's like a
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: rule or there's any kind of like relationship, you know code,
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: but like there's some people that you want to and
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: some people just don't. Yes, I don't know, but I'm
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: not going to bring mints. I'm sorry, right, I'm not
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: going to mince in my bag.
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: It's happened.
• 25:37
  Speaker 4: Like when they take out the gum, the gum or
• 25:40
  Speaker 4: the mints and then offer you.
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: I'm like, oh gosh.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: First of all, mint makes me sneeze, so that would
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: be awful. I'd be like you, you be like Kelly,
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: you're sneezing. What's going on over there? Like your friends
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: are they setting you up?
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: Or so?
• 25:55
  Speaker 4: The last time I was set up, I kind of
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: kicked off my dating with two setups, and ever since then,
• 26:04
  Speaker 4: nobody I haven't been set up. I live in a
• 26:07
  Speaker 4: small community where really nobody is divorced, and that is
• 26:12
  Speaker 4: not an overstatement. My best friends, my whole friend group,
• 26:17
  Speaker 4: which I call my angel team, are all married and
• 26:20
  Speaker 4: being with them is my happy place.
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: And I'm super lucky.
• 26:24
  Speaker 4: That I am still you know, included, even though I
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: don't have a significant other. One thing that I've liked
• 26:33
  Speaker 4: about dating is it's made me not feel alone by
• 26:37
  Speaker 4: being divorced.
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: Since there aren't divorced people in my community.
• 26:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I've learned there there are great people out there
• 26:46
  Speaker 4: that are divorced.
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: There are there are, let's talk there are. First of all,
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: there are a lot of great people out there.
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: Just because you went through you know, you had a
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: marriage and you are divorced, doesn't mean that you're like,
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: you know, there's a new opportunity for you. And I
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: love the way you're handling I really like, I'm like,
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: you're very cool.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: I am not as cool as you, not at all.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, just.
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: Looking at you, I totally disagree.
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: I am so not cool.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, persons there there are my feelings or
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: they're like I'm like, oh my god, that person just
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: thinks I'm a show pony and they don't want to
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: get to know me or whatever. You know, all these
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: stupid insecurities that I that I have. Let's go through
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: your dating profile says the worst.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: I mean, like, hats offt you know, thank you.
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: I appreciate that you are too. Let's go into your
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: dating profile because I need to hear. Okay, let's talk
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: about the photos. You can just describe like, like your photos.
• 27:43
  Speaker 4: So nothing professional. Just that was on the way Christmas Eve.
• 27:48
  Speaker 4: Do you want me to read my prompt or do.
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: You want yes, I want to hear yeah, Or do
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: you want to see.
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: No, No, I could barely see, but just that your puppy.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: Or yeah, oh.
• 27:58
  Speaker 4: That's I'm a baker and the last one I did
• 28:01
  Speaker 4: to show up?
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: Oh I love Yes, I loved to bake.
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, and you're and you're a baker, Oh
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: my god.
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: That's I can make food for my children, but I
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: don't make food for other people.
• 28:13
  Speaker 4: It is my way of showing love to friends and family.
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: Okay, okay, first of all, I love that. What's the
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: app Which one is it?
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: This one's hinge, but I'm I'm on Hinge and the league.
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: I wish you could see my pictures.
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: I would love to see that. Wait we read me?
• 28:32
  Speaker 4: Yes, So I have been told. I have been told
• 28:36
  Speaker 4: on dates that I match my profile perfectly.
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: I have been I have been told that.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: That's so good.
• 28:45
  Speaker 4: So it says, uh, the prompt is my greatest strength.
• 28:48
  Speaker 4: It says I'm sweet, grounded, nurturing, fit and fun, full
• 28:52
  Speaker 4: of life and excited for the next chapter.
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: I love showing up for the people.
• 28:56
  Speaker 4: I care for sharing, laughter and building meaningful connect actions.
• 29:01
  Speaker 4: And then the second prompts is my simple pleasures. It's
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: a little repetitive because I say spending time with the
• 29:10
  Speaker 4: people I love, sharing connection, laughter and memories, and even
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: finding humor in life's challenges. I'm drawn to beautiful surroundings
• 29:18
  Speaker 4: and thoughtful details. And then I name a couple of
• 29:23
  Speaker 4: my favorite favorite places.
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: And then the next.
• 29:26
  Speaker 4: Picture is me at one of my favorite places, and
• 29:30
  Speaker 4: that's the full body shot.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: Where is it? Where is your favorite place?
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: Uh No, it's ConA on Hawaii.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, Hawaii, Oh my god.
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: I love that, And it says what if I told
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: you that?
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: And I respond with my life feels feels full in
• 29:48
  Speaker 4: all the best ways, but I can't wait to share
• 29:51
  Speaker 4: experiences with someone special alongside my wonderful family and friends,
• 29:56
  Speaker 4: which is speaks to I hope that I could meet
• 30:02
  Speaker 4: somebody that I fit into their life and they fit
• 30:05
  Speaker 4: into my life, which is circles back to when I
• 30:09
  Speaker 4: was saying, you asked me what's different now between dating
• 30:13
  Speaker 4: so long ago.
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: And when you're young. You're not thinking about, oh can
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: I fit into his life? And will he fit into
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: my life? I don't know about you. I never thought
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: of that when I was in my twenties.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: Now, I was just like, who is this person?
• 30:31
  Speaker 4: And then another thing that I love to think about
• 30:35
  Speaker 4: is when you're young, it is all about the wedding
• 30:39
  Speaker 4: and the baby, the baby or baby or babies, and
• 30:45
  Speaker 4: I never thought about what life is going to be
• 30:50
  Speaker 4: like as an empty nester. And obviously I never thought
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: about I'm going to be building a relationship and it's
• 31:00
  Speaker 4: not about.
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: Making a family.
• 31:06
  Speaker 4: And I just think that's very interesting to think about
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: because the relationship isn't necessarily going to be around, you know,
• 31:19
  Speaker 4: all the schedules and all the stuff that comes comes
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: with kids.
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: That is so interesting because when I when I was younger,
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: I was a model and I married someone that was
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: a lot older than I was, and we didn't have
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: a traditional wedding. I didn't even go on a honeymoon.
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: There was no like I just was pregnant one day.
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: There was no planning, there was no like. All those
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: things that you're talking about, I just never experienced. And
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: I think that's one reason why I'm opposite, like I
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: am looking for a family.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: For my family, I'm looking for the whole.
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm like, I'm always like, oh, this is
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: going to be great because I want that family. I
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: just always wanted and I've just you know, raised my
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: kids on my own for so long. I've been single
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: for so long for the right reasons, not for the
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: wrong reasons. And so it's like it's so different, we're
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: so different, But okay, what are your We're so different,
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: but we're very similar in a lot of ways. What
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: are your deal breakers and your non negotiables?
• 32:23
  Speaker 4: Deal breakers and non negotiables would be if you're an alcoholic,
• 32:30
  Speaker 4: that's that's a that's a deal breaker, right, that's no
• 32:34
  Speaker 4: smoking is it is a deal breaker. I mean that's
• 32:38
  Speaker 4: just something like on the app that you can kind.
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: Of filter filter through.
• 32:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I know myself and I know so many other
• 32:48
  Speaker 4: women out there. We do put a lot of effort
• 32:52
  Speaker 4: into how we look and how we present ourselves.
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: And so if if I were to show up.
• 32:59
  Speaker 4: On a day and you know, he's not presenting.
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: Well, it's you know, it could be a deal breaker.
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: I'm just saying, if you.
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: Know, right you are on department the same effort that
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: you're putting forth.
• 33:13
  Speaker 3: I it doesn't have to be the same. I mean,
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: I might put in a little too much.
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: What about like religion, politics.
• 33:21
  Speaker 4: I'm very open minded on religion and politics.
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: Those aren't deal breakers for me.
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: What if he has younger kids, like younger, younger like
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: seven six?
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: Yes, I don't see it.
• 33:37
  Speaker 4: I don't see it, but I would definitely be open minded.
• 33:41
  Speaker 3: To a meet and greet.
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: With a hard stop and then some fuzzy slippers and
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: then a really great TV show.
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: Why to get married again?
• 34:02
  Speaker 4: I think if I'm in a long term if I'm
• 34:04
  Speaker 4: in a long term relationship, I think it would bug
• 34:08
  Speaker 4: me for years and years to have the title of girlfriend.
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: So I do see myself as a wife again. Someday.
• 34:17
  Speaker 4: I would love to have that role. I'm not afraid
• 34:20
  Speaker 4: of it. Right, but again, it feels very far away, right.
• 34:26
  Speaker 4: Quick question for you. So you mentioned you are looking
• 34:30
  Speaker 4: to create a new family.
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: Correct. Yes, so I would say it.
• 34:37
  Speaker 4: It doesn't feel like it feels like a dream that
• 34:40
  Speaker 4: I could find this. But my dream would be to
• 34:45
  Speaker 4: find somebody that adds to my son's life as well.
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: Oh one, But I mean like a person that's like like,
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: for lack of a better word, like a community builder.
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: Like I mean, I dated this one guy that was
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: just like it was only me.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: I'm like, no, no, no, no, I have two daughters, Like
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: it's not just me, it's all of us. Uh.
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: And that just I mean I quickly because I just
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: was like, I can't do that. But then again, I
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: dated someone that was about my same age and he
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: had a daughter and he just was so disconnected from
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: his daughter.
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: I mean, his daughter had.
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: Like she was this beautiful little nineteen year old and
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: she had like mismatched.
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: Socks, and I'm like, what is going on? Like that
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: kind of stuff does not work for me.
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: So I couldn't. I couldn't connect with anybody like that.
• 35:31
  Speaker 4: Any of the dates I've gone on, I've been so
• 35:34
  Speaker 4: impressed with the type of dads they are, and some
• 35:38
  Speaker 4: of them went on multiple dates.
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: Okay, what if they say bad things about their ex wife?
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: Does that bother you?
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: Yes, thank you?
• 35:47
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes I hate that. Yeah.
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: It's like that's like that to me as a dale breaker,
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: when you talk badly about your ex, because what are
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: you going to say about me?
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: It's like a friend, do you know what I mean?
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: When they say something mean about something, You're like, m.
• 36:00
  Speaker 3: I just don't think you need to go there, right.
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: It didn't work out. You know, we uncoupled. I love
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: the I love the Gwyneth Palott we uncoupled.
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: It's very by. I mean just I just love that
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: you make cookies. I have to tell your cookies. So
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: I'm like, all I'm thinking about is talking to the cookies.
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, So you've made dating for
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: a year. What's the biggest thing you've learned about yourself?
• 36:24
  Speaker 4: The best version of myself is my true, genuine self
• 36:28
  Speaker 4: I am. I really am in my skin, and I
• 36:35
  Speaker 4: think I was self conscious going into the dating world
• 36:38
  Speaker 4: being a stay at home mom, and I am proud
• 36:44
  Speaker 4: of that. I own it. It's so much a part
• 36:49
  Speaker 4: of who I am. Not to say that I won't
• 36:52
  Speaker 4: have a part two once my son goes to college
• 36:57
  Speaker 4: and I could discover new things. And I don't know
• 37:01
  Speaker 4: what that part too is, because I'm still focused.
• 37:04
  Speaker 3: You know, on the part where he you know, he
• 37:09
  Speaker 3: is still living at home.
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: It's really important to just like we were talking about before,
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: like just about you know, feeling good and you know
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: it doesn't matter how long it takes, and you know
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: what you have to remember, you know, people people when
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: people talk about unraveling a relationship. They're not talking about
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: the relationship. They're talking about, you know, emotionally, like talking
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: about that person, the memories that you had with that person,
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: kind of being able to put those in a in
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: a you know, that was a really nice part of
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: my life box and not like where you are now.
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: Box. It's just it's not easy.
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: And you know, people were like, I just want to
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: be great and fun and sexy.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: Well it's like, you know, people, there's it's like damage control. Now.
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: It's like you got to like, you know, do the
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: things that you really really love and focus on your son.
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: And I mean, I'm excited for you.
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: I'm really excited You're going to be great.
• 38:04
  Speaker 4: One thing that my mom pointed out is dating hat.
• 38:10
  Speaker 4: Everybody that I have gone out with has has boosted
• 38:15
  Speaker 4: my confidence. So what it has it has been. It
• 38:18
  Speaker 4: has been healthy.
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: I can't so now for anyone listening right now who's
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: scared to start dating again, like what advice would you
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: give them?
• 38:29
  Speaker 4: You kind of need practice and that it's okay to
• 38:34
  Speaker 4: go out with that person that isn't going to be
• 38:38
  Speaker 4: the man.
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: Of your dreams. Just start getting comfortable with.
• 38:43
  Speaker 4: Be sharing a meal with with somebody and having conversation
• 38:48
  Speaker 4: and learning to talk about yourself and to ask questions
• 38:56
  Speaker 4: without it being an interview.
• 38:59
  Speaker 3: And that's one I'm saying.
• 39:01
  Speaker 4: That I caught on Real Fast. I don't like it
• 39:06
  Speaker 4: when I'm being interviewed by by the date.
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: I have another question for you.
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: I have all these questions for you, like Kate's brand brand,
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: I know you'd be great like rapid Fire.
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: Have you ever asked a guy out in real life?
• 39:22
  Speaker 4: No, because I am traditional in my relationships and I
• 39:29
  Speaker 4: do have in my head you know that if if
• 39:32
  Speaker 4: he wanted to, he would not.
• 39:35
  Speaker 3: Not that I've because I'm that would apply more.
• 39:38
  Speaker 4: I feel like if I was out and about in
• 39:40
  Speaker 4: the city and maybe I worked, and you know, there
• 39:44
  Speaker 4: was somebody that I was eyeing, and I wouldn't I
• 39:48
  Speaker 4: wouldn't ask him out. I would I would wait. So No,
• 39:51
  Speaker 4: I've never asked. I've never asked. I've never asked anybody out.
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: So do you need a new dating challenge? Sure?
• 40:03
  Speaker 3: What do you have?
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: You never know? You are on id perto we we uh,
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: you know we're open to all sorts of fun games.
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: So my really good friend Luanne, because I was on Housewives,
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: I don't know if you know that.
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: But I was on Housewives and my friend Luanne I
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: had her on and I asked her what I should do.
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: So she said, write a note on a piece on
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: a napkin and send it to a guy when you're
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: at a bar, because you never asked him went out,
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: So maybe you don't have to you don't have to
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: verbally ask, but maybe like give all your number to somebody.
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: No, that's not going to happen in this way.
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: Just in case you're wondering, that's what I said.
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: I was like.
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, how
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: about like just something casual like drink, question work. No,
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: that's not that's that's a word.
• 40:59
  Speaker 3: That's even more anxiety written.
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: But you have to do something fun because actually, listen,
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: when I did it, I was with two of my
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: really good friends and I'm like, you know what, I'm
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: just going to try this.
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: There was a guy at the end of the bar.
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: I asked for a drink. He came over.
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: He happened to be a love hotel with Luan, which
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: was very awkward, but I thought it was very very
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: funny and I and I and I was like, I
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: was very proud of myself.
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: I was like, huh, look at me asking people out, and.
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: I think I'm feeling plush just thinking about it. First
• 41:26
  Speaker 3: of all, when.
• 41:27
  Speaker 4: Even it's you have to you have to know that
• 41:31
  Speaker 4: they're single, which would be I mean, yeah, I'm not
• 41:36
  Speaker 4: up for that challenge.
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: What about giving someone a compliment like I really like
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: your shoes.
• 41:41
  Speaker 3: Possibly, I'm just trying to think.
• 41:43
  Speaker 4: I don't think I'm in environments much because the places
• 41:47
  Speaker 4: that I frequent single.
• 41:50
  Speaker 3: People really aren't there. So here, so my only.
• 41:53
  Speaker 4: Access to meeting people really is the apps. I mean,
• 41:57
  Speaker 4: I've been on vacation and I always keep my eye open.
• 42:02
  Speaker 4: But unfortunately, Okay, I just thought of it, Kelly, Okay, great,
• 42:06
  Speaker 4: what is it? So we were we were in Pebble
• 42:10
  Speaker 4: Beach and there was dad having dinner with his son,
• 42:14
  Speaker 4: and the sun was darling, and the dad looked cute,
• 42:18
  Speaker 4: and I looked for a ring and there wasn't a ring.
• 42:21
  Speaker 4: And if there was ever a circumstance to do what
• 42:26
  Speaker 4: you're talking about, that would be the only circumstance. But
• 42:30
  Speaker 4: I would have I would not have had the courage
• 42:32
  Speaker 4: to do that because I also do not want to
• 42:35
  Speaker 4: be hitting.
• 42:36
  Speaker 3: On some they could have a girlfriend.
• 42:38
  Speaker 4: So no, not doing your challenges because I'm stepping on
• 42:45
  Speaker 4: somebody's toes.
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: I feel like I have to walk with you in
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: the supermarket. I feel like we had to be like,
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: so are you a white flower? Or this is my
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: weird friend Kelly.
• 42:58
  Speaker 4: I don't think I'm I'm I'm not going to ever.
• 43:02
  Speaker 4: I don't hit I just I like the compliments.
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm a big compliment person, but not not
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: in a disingenuous way. But I do look for things
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: to say nice things to people.
• 43:12
  Speaker 3: I do.
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: I always do that.
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: But so I compliment is kind of a nice icebreaker
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: because guys don't really get compliments. They give compliments, but
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: they don't really get them. So maybe like some kind
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: of compliment I agree with you, I really think. By
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: the way, one of my closest friends, he's like, he
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: lives in Miami, and he was like, everybody goes to
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: the supermarket on Sunday nights to meet people. I'm like
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: what He's like, Yeah, I'm.
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: Like which one He's like, obviously Whole Foods.
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, okay, So maybe change up the routine
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: of your shopping hours. Maybe like tell your son to
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: be like, I'll wear it bag. Mommy has to go
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: buy some chocolate chips at seven pm. He's like, Mom,
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: you've got a storage unit full of them.
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: Well, I need some more.
• 43:53
  Speaker 4: I do switch up my routine. And remember I do
• 43:57
  Speaker 4: live in the burbs. We're not talking there. There's a
• 44:00
  Speaker 4: ton of you know, single people. And I also, like
• 44:06
  Speaker 4: I say, very respectful. I kind of have the mindset
• 44:10
  Speaker 4: of everybody around me is married. That's why I would
• 44:13
  Speaker 4: never feel comfortable and hitting on somebody.
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: Okay, let's let's check the boxes. Let's check the boxes.
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: First of all, you're dating at profile fire. That's great.
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: You're so beautiful and so real.
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: And authentic, So that's good. You are looking for the
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: right things, you have the right intentions.
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: You're like ready, You're ready today.
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: Agree.
• 44:39
  Speaker 4: I do go with my gut, and my gut so far,
• 44:42
  Speaker 4: knock on Wood hasn't served me wrong because I've met lovely,
• 44:47
  Speaker 4: lovely people.
• 44:48
  Speaker 3: But I'm afraid the apps are dead now. I don't know,
• 44:51
  Speaker 3: so I might be going on a break.
• 44:52
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: I'll go ahead from Kelly, go to the supermarket. Thank
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: you so much really for helping me and for inspiring
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: our listeners I really really appreciate and they appreciate it,
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: and I appreciate it.
• 45:02
  Speaker 3: If I can do it, they can do it.
• 45:04
  Speaker 4: It's not easy, but honestly, it gives me an extra
• 45:09
  Speaker 4: kick in my step, even when I'm not crushing.
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: It's fun to get that text. It's fun the unknown.
• 45:16
  Speaker 3: Could this be something? Okay, No, it wasn't. Well, you know,
• 45:20
  Speaker 3: I have the other things I enjoy in life.
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: So, Kate, I want you to keep up with us
• 45:25
  Speaker 2: on the podcast about any new developments that have been
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: happening in your dating life. The podcast is all about
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: people like you and me not giving up on love.
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: So thanks so much for sharing your story with us.
• 45:36
  Speaker 2: Are you like Kate, I need help when it comes
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: to dating? Call us or email us. All the info
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: is in the show notes, follow us on socials, and
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: make sure to rate and review the podcast. I do
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: Part two an iHeartRadio podcast. We're falling in Love is
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: the main objective.