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Empowering Veteran Resilience: Chuck Hogan's Journey from Military Upbringing to Transforming Civilian Life through Leadership and Mindfulness · Your Thoughts Your Reality

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with Michael Cole, the podcast that shines a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Michael is a dual elite certified neuro encoding specialist in coaching and keynote training presentations dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post deployment life.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Join him as we delve into the profound realm of neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles procrastination, self-doubt, fear and more.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: Hello, hello, hello everybody.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Chuck, I'm still giggling about our conversation.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: All right, chuck, today, good friend, chuck is a seasoned neuro strategist with a passion for helping others navigate life's challenges and opportunities.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: A proud husband and father, he brings a deeply empathetic and family-centered approach to all of his work.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: Growing up as the son of a 30-year Navy veteran, chuck has profound understanding for the sacrifices and resilience required in military life.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: Of course we're going to get into that today.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: And he's an entrepreneur, empowering individuals and organizations to unlock their potential through emotional mastery.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: And, of course, chuck is one of the most grounded people in his faith.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: I know, chuck, welcome to the show, and if you can just tell us a little bit more about yourself, Thank you, brother.
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I am the proud son of a 30-year naval veteran, born in Sasbo, japan.
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: So multicultural Japanese mom, irish father, japan.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: So multicultural Japanese mom, irish father.
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: I can tell you that those days in the 1960s and 70s and 80s, growing up in the military, were some exciting times and also some very challenging times.
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: There was a lot of skirmishes, like Vietnam, that my father was involved with and we were, you know.
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: For myself, I'll just say this Some of my proudest moments are just remembering seeing my dad in his dress whites.
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: He's a naval veteran that is highly esteemed, left the military as a master chief and, yeah, he had some goals.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: He had some goals and served as a security detail for Rear Admiral and at the end of his career was involved in recruiting of all things, because he just loves people and he was so impassioned by what it meant to serve our country and to be able to help people find a career, help people find opportunities, and the military just provides so much of that stable space and I was raised with those tenants of honor, distinction space.
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: And I was raised with those tenets of honor, distinction, presence and commitment, high standards.
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: So it wasn't whether or not you were making your bet.
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: You made your bet.
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: It wasn't whether or not you were a polite person.
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: You were always a polite person because that was the right thing to do and the person you desired to be.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: That's fantastic and you know a lot of the veterans during the reintegration and civilian life or transition period.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: They really forget you know the amazing leadership skills, the discipline, those things you know and I think it's really important to kind of lean back into that and really realize the blessings that you know, you were conditioned or trained to have in your life.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: So I'm glad you brought that up, chuck.
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: My father made it a point and my mother supported this 110%.
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: She's a teacher in Japan, and so let's just say discipline wasn't lacking in the Hogan household.
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: It's like have you done your homework, have you done your chores?
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: Are you living your best life?
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: And and the truth was, that's where this whole premise of living a fruitful, full life came from was you know?
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, susan, I love you.
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: Non-negotiables are high standards, not, not, um, not making excuses and negotiating with self.
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: That is something that my, my parents were so adamant about.
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: They said we were just here at an event with a very dear friend, bo East, and he said there's no plan B for your A game, there's no plan B.
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: And we oftentimes will say this and I've heard this so many times from friends of mine who are ex-military and reintegrating.
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: They wish that someone would teach them how to time block.
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: Because when someone else is keeping your schedule relative to when the mess hall is open, when the commissary is open, when the exchange is open, where you're supposed to be, what post, what detail you're supposed to be on, what sort of you're on, I go, wow, this is great because you get to flavor your life with your schedule now and it's really simple to be able to help create that structure.
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: So now you don't feel lost in the cacophony of opportunity.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's that's fantastic.
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: I love that you brought that up because you know there's that.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: That's the I call it the honeymoon phase, right?
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the military two, three weeks, whatever.
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: It is just celebrations and catching up and I love yous and it's all fantastic.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: And then you know, life be lifin' right, bless Brown.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: So all of a sudden life starts kicking in and if you don't have that plan, you don't have that structure, things start to fall apart really quickly.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: So, really, really cool you brought that up, chuck.
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: No, it's a pleasure, michael, and oftentimes people are going well, how do I even create a structure?
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: It's really simple, in fact, it's uber simple.
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: Ask yourself this very simple question and you can ask it the day before.
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: So now you're being deliberate.
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: You don't go oh, what's my detail?
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: Tomorrow?
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: You're like no, my detail is what I created to be.
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: So if you ask yourself, how do I need to feel most often today, tomorrow, a day from now, a week from now, a month from now, you're going to start to find that there's commonality.
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: I need to feel valuable.
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: Here's the ticket.
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: Though Ready, you need to be authentic, you need to act.
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: You know, really be truthful with yourself, because if you start negotiating with yourself and go, I'll get to it tomorrow, I'll get to it a week from now, when I'm ready.
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: I'm like you know when you'll be ready.
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: Never, never, come up with a mental answer in your brain, because your mindset is based on your heart set.
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: So when you start to understand that you feeling whole, full, contributory, valuable, necessary, centered, guided love, connected, now, all of a sudden, you're like oh, but I have to be doing certain things right, I go.
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: No, you need to be being loving, kind, courageous, because that's going to attract all the things in your universe that give you the abilities that now have possibilities as business owners.
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: You know people go.
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: I'm not an entrepreneur, you don't need to be.
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: I'm going to make this really really, really simple.
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: Okay, if you're a consumer, if you're in services and provisions of products, whatever you're If you consume products, then just know that this is important and my apologies, I don't know why people are trying to Zoom me while I'm in a meeting.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: Because you're still in Mexico, chuck, oops.
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: No, it's just that I planned this trip.
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: It was in my account, no, so the deal is this time block everything.
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: In fact, you're, you all out there are probably going to say this guy is absolutely bananas, and my wife would agree.
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: I'm a little off.
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: Here's the difference, though.
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: I know it's important, I know it's important to me.
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: I know it's important to me, I know it's important to my family, I know it's important to those that I love the most.
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: I don't presuppose.
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: I clarify and verify.
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: I'm in rapport.
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: I make sure, because I have a seven PhD in screwing up.
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: I'm really good at it, y'all.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: And here's the deal.
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: Okay, you ready.
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: It's really simple.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: Schedule your celebration.
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: You'll schedule a proctological exam.
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: You'll schedule a dental filling.
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: You'll schedule an oil change.
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: You'll schedule a haircut.
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: You won't, freaking, schedule a celebration for yourself.
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: And I can't, for the life of me, understand why.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: Because at some point.
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: Please, michael, no, please, please, go ahead.
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: Well, no, because at some point in time, you're going to be filled with a bunch of doings and you're a human being, not a human doing so.
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: If you never fill up your cup where you be grateful, you be full, you be connected, you're constantly going to be chasing your own dream of what might be and not what is Absolutely.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: And I want to add, chuck, if I can.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: You know we get to do these things.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: If we change the I should, I need to, I and the worst one I have to to I get to.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: It feels so differently.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: You know, you look in my calendar and you see my wife and I date night every other Friday scheduled.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you see things scheduled.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: And I just want to say one more thing to that is when you get to do something, what should you do?
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: You should celebrate the heck out of it.
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: And I mean seriously, take your ass, get your good hormones going, smile, literally, pat yourself on the back People hear me say it all the time.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: If we don't have these little mini celebrations, I'm very big on stacking right the good emotions over all the negative ones.
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: Right, oh man, I've got to go do this, I've got to go do that.
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: Well, if you get to go do these things, you automatically are de-stacking some of those negative things and it feels so much better.
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: Negative things and it feels so much better.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: And number two is when you have the positive things that you just think about and visualize and are excited about, it automatically takes those down.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: So what happens then?
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: You don't have the negative stacking.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: Negative stacking Exactly and mitigates it, and it's simple you got to let go of it.
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: You got to let go of it.
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: Think of it like this have you ever seen, um, where they put someone in like the money booth and they just like turn on the blower and these people are just like grabbing, grabbing, grabbing, grabbing, grabbing.
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: Well, you know what the funny part is?
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: The ones that actually win the most money grab the money and stuff it in their pants, stuff it in their shirt, and there's a reason for it.
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: They understand that there's a strategy, that you need to own it before you have it.
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: Now, what's the difference?
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: They go.
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: But Michael was just saying about letting go.
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: Yes, it's the same thing.
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: If you are hoarding negative emotions, if you are hoarding memories that are haunting you, it is absolutely imperative that there's forgiveness, because it's not intentional.
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: The experience is not the memory, it's the emotion that had been imprinted, that we actually associated to the situation, that have created that modality which creates a trigger.
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: And so, if you find yourself because Michael said something that's beautiful and brilliant and, yes, celebrate, celebrate.
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: How you celebrate is important, and there's three things that are important to remember it's healthy, healthy, it's happy and it's sustainable.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: Amen.
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: Because if you're like going, hey, I'm celebrating, okay, and you're like, well, I celebrate a lot during the course of a day and I'm like, okay, is that sustainable?
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: Is it healthy for you?
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: Because here's the deal Dopamine and oxytocin and the chemical receptors that are activated and the hormones that are released when you are in a celebratory state, creates euphoria, and it's higher than any amount of alcohol.
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: It's higher than any stimulant could ever create for you and it allows you to be you.
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: So you're the one in celebration.
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: It's not something external from you that you need in order to facilitate the celebration.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: Amen, I love that you said that, chuck.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: And can I just add when you're celebrating, how's that celebration feel the next day?
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: All of a sudden, you turned it into a negative.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: That's not the way to celebrate my friends, you know what?
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: There's one aspect to celebration which is the keystone or the cornerstone to it there's no judgment.
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: When you celebrate, you just celebrate.
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: There's no celebrate, they go.
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: But Chuck, you just said I didn't say you were celebrating wrong.
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: There's no celebration, they go.
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: But Chuck, you just said I didn't say you were celebrating wrong.
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: I'm not judging you.
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: What I'm asking you is for your outcomes and goals.
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: See, because here's the deal In the military, they tell you your outcomes and goals.
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: I can't hear you.
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: Here's the cadence, here's the walk, here's the exercise we're doing.
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: It's not nose Be here at this time.
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: You do this and I'm like you know what Great.
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: In that conditioning, we start to find some structure and discipline.
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: So what they are doing is is making sure that there's compliance.
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: So that way, in the event that something happens, when the order is given, you respond in kind when the order is given you respond in kind Fair.
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: Here's the difference when your possibilities are limited to the scope of someone else's frame, this is where you live Within their rules when you're out of the military.
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: Now, our conditioning requires us to create a new set of framework that allows us to propagate and thrive.
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: When you ask yourself how you need to feel most often your wife, your children and I'm going to be very specific with this, michael this is an uber clear distinction that is so imperative.
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: Clarify and verify and get an agreement frame.
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: So here's what I mean by this, because communication is the cornerstone to all of this, all of this, most notably with yourself.
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: So when you say I'm a failure, is that really true?
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: The answer is no, unequivocally no.
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: Are you challenged?
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, in fact, 99.9% of the time, whatever you put your mind to, you will not meet that expectation.
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: What allows you to stay on track and stay in that drive and that strive?
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: not survive is here.
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: There's heart space.
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: We have been fed to from the time we were children that you could do anything that you put your mind to.
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: Whatever the mind can conceive, the body can achieve.
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: And I go.
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: I know a lot of people that have been dreaming about cheeseburgers, because their body's built for comfort, not for speed.
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: And so here's the deal Do not negotiate with yourself when it comes to the needs that you have.
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: That you know.
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: Fulfill you.
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: I'm going to say it again.
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: Do not negotiate with yourself, because that is a mental exercise.
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: You will never win, ever.
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, you can do whatever you put your heart to.
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: This will override everything else.
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: It will give you the perseverance, the drive, the strive.
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: This is where adrenaline.
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: When something happened on the field, when something happened on the playground, when something happened at home, and you're like I'm so charged, what should I do?
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: What should I do Michael, what do I do, chuck?
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: I said slow down, breathe, breathe, because you're in an altered state right now and in that reaction, you may say something, do something, be someone that you are not proud of.
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: I absolutely love that you say that and you know what that passion can be a beautiful thing or destructive it really can.
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: What you're feeling in that heart and that passion gets you up early, keeps you up late.
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: It can be a good or a bad thing.
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: Slow down, yeah, and I love that you said that there's this aspect to this too.
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: People who are elite special forces, whatever the case might be, whatever specialty you have, please keep in mind that your loved ones have not had the repetition and the training that you have had.
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: And so when we know what we know and we have an expectation of others to know what we already know, without the training, without the time, without the caring, without the ability, I'm going to be very blunt for a moment.
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: We're not all wired the same, but I'm a warrior and I said yes, and you could be a warrior for love.
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: You can be a warrior for intellect, you could be a warrior for compassion.
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: You do not have to be a warrior for intellect.
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: You to be a warrior for compassion, you do not have to be a destructive warrior.
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: From my japanese background, we used to always talk about bushido, the warrior way, the way of the warrior.
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: And the truth is, you can choose to create and fill and use that compassion, that passion, that drive, that strive to support and build, not to tear down love, love that man.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so you know, in so many people it's really again what, what your, what your integrity is, your integrity for what you want right and what you want to do, because I think it's, please no please, no, no, no, please continue, because I think I'm having thoughts as you're saying, that I'm like oh yeah, this is good.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: So it's really so important for a life of fulfillment, or?
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: You know what success means to you, if you will, because it means something different to everybody.
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: So if you can figure that out and have that passion and I know Chuck's going to dive in here how much further, how much fulfilled can your life be?
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: Because everybody has a different idea of success, right?
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: One person is I pay my bills.
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: One person is I'm president, you know.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: One person is I help every single person I can and bring up their day or lighten their day and make them happier in the moment, so that they can go on and create a ripple effect and make other people's lives happier.
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: Success means something different to everybody.
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: So I think it's so important, especially with what you said.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: What's that fulfillment in moving forward with it.
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, if someone were to say hey, michael, I'm going to give you a million dollars and for the next month you are going to be miserable.
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: You know, oh, for a million dollars and for the next month you are going to be miserable.
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: You know, oh for a million dollars I could be miserable.
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: I go hey, I'm going to give you $5 million and for the rest of your life you will suffer every single day.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: No way.
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: And people like oh wait, what?
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: Now?
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: You can go wherever you want to go, you can do whatever you want, but we're going to make sure that you're suffering.
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: So you're going to have fibromyalgia, you're going to have some form of stressor within your body.
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: Because see, here's the dismissive part People believe that striving and pushing and driving is happiness and I go.
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: No, that's achievement.
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: That's been an external resource that someone gave to you as their goal and outcome, because they had to measure and they can't measure what's not moving.
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: So, when you remove all the fluff and stuff, when you remove all the lapel of all the ribbons and all the accolades and the uniform because I'm going to make a bold statement and I'm going to apologize ahead of time the military is a beautiful institution.
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: The challenge is that you do not build character by tearing people down.
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: And I can tell you there's a different way, because those that are the elite, those that get pushed beyond their comfort zone, they find a way to flow through it, not just grind through it.
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: Because here's the challenge you may not pay the price at the time that you're going through that training.
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: It will be taken off on the back end of your life, when you are in a sympathetic state.
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: That means fully activated special elite unit, special forces, navy SEALs, special ops, whatever the case might be, I said you are on full tilt.
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: Using every single ounce of your cognitive and unconscious ability, you will distort, delete and generalize information constantly.
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: And be fully on tilt.
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: Because you have to be.
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: That's what you've trained to be.
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: You've been trained to be a killer.
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: You've been trained to be that identity and they've done psychic battles they look at.
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: That's why some people wash out, because the psych studies but here's what I'm going to share with you those that stay in and make it through and live the longest have one character trait, michael, what do you think that might be?
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: uh, it could be a lot uh, finding passion, finding a fulfillment, finding something to sustain, yeah and yeah.
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: They have an uncanny ability to remember how to forget.
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: Oh Yep, there we go.
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: Most people find the pain from their past, yeah.
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: They find fear, yeah, because it's the unknown, yeah, all of the connections in the moment, and so what they are brilliant at is being present.
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: Mm-hmm, when you meet these folks, you know exactly who you're speaking to, because they are like right here.
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: Right here, there's no divergent thinking, there's no, you know, fluttering eye movement.
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: They're like right here, they're like hanging on your every breath and it's like, wow, feel that presence Cause please remember these words People meet your energy before they meet you.
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: Love that and it's so true, it is true, your state, your breathing, your being, your energy, your frequency.
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: Because there's a lot of folks that when they get out of service, they fake it till they make it, and then they get to the next phase, which they fake it till they make it.
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: And then they get to the next phase, which is they face it as they make it oh, I'm getting some vocational training, I'm getting through some stuff and then they get to this point where they faith it as they make it, like, hey, I'm making some progress, this is good, I'm actually starting to enjoy this stuff.
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: This is cooler than I thought it would be.
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: Then you get to this level.
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: You start to believe as you achieve.
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: And in that belief system now you can skip steps, by the way, you can.
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: You can literally go from faking it till you make it to believe as you achieve.
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: Because when you are connected to the emotions at a deep level, you're like, hey, I might not be the best computer programmer, but I care what we're working on and I'm so impassioned that I'm learning at a curve.
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: That is like going to the stratosphere.
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: Instead of oh, I have a story, I'm negotiating with myself.
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: Well, they said it's going to take six months.
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: I'm going to take the whole six months.
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: Wait what?
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: Wow, where did that low standard come from?
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: Oh well, chuck, I listened to you and Michael and I'm being patient with myself.
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: I said no, you're placating yourself.
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: There's a difference.
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: That level of procrastination comes from discomfort.
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: It comes from this 10 million-year-old monkey brain that's trying to protect you.
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: And there's no adversary behind the rock.
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: There's no sniper up on the mesa, there's no IED on the ground.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: It's really amazing how, when people see what they want and see it as already done, how the answers just come, the confidence just comes.
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: But, chuck, I'm going to be honest.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: All right, we're on episode 98 with you right Of this podcast.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: When I first started, I had no clue.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: I talked to some people I always do that to the people that I respect and to gain information.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: I've done that since I was, you know, young, and so when you, but when you make it to, you, make it whatever you want to do, when you see it is already done yes you literally have that confidence.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: You literally have that faith, yes, and which is so important to accomplish anything.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: Would you agree with that?
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: I a hundred percent agree with it.
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: In fact, I'll take it a step further.
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: It's exactly what you said, which is you need to be able to, and it's not just about dreaming.
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: Let's be very clear.
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: Okay, I'm going to be a little bit, I'm going to be crass for a a moment.
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: I hope you will all bear with me.
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: Not rude, but crass, feel free.
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: There are so many people that come up with outcomes and goals and they're not theirs.
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: It's not even theirs.
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: They're like when I have this much money, I'll be happy, and I'm like, no, you won't.
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: When I have, when I have this much time, when I have this car, when I have this house, when I have this gal, when I have this dog, when I have these kids, and I'm like, go ahead, no, because you cannot outrun you.
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: When you are uncomfortable with you, you can't fly fast enough, drive fast enough, escape velocity.
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: You are stuck with you, and it's a blessing because none of us is broken.
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: So if you're seeing a therapist, a counselor, whomever the case might be, you'll know they're the right ones when you start to understand more about you and how you're feeling about self.
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: If you are still stuck in the same story and after five or six months, you're still talking about the same story over and over and over and over again.
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: Get out, because it's like being in a house of mirrors.
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: You will continue to walk around looking for something different and not finding it, because when you are, the reference point comes back to you.
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: So I'm going to actually challenge you to consider something slightly different.
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: What would it take for you to forgive you, to just let go of that?
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: Whatever it is, it doesn't dissolve it, it doesn't say it never happened.
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: It's just that it does not rule your life now, because if anxiety or tension or procrastination is your moniker, that's your fuel of choice, that's because you are hanging on by your fingernails to something from your past.
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: When you let go of that pain, it's going to be like having an emotional enema, and there's ways to do this where you can actually feel full and free and light and you're like oh wow, my eyes are actually green and not this putrid brown that has been building on my body Not judging anyone that has brown eyes, by the way.
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: I'm just saying at some point in time, we need to understand that you can give yourself freedom.
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: The difference is is where that freedom is going to come from and what's necessary in order for you to feel full.
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: Because here's the deal Ready.
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: You can't give away what you don't own.
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: It's impossible.
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: I can't give you air if I have no air.
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: I can't give you hydration if I have no water.
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: I can't give you love.
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: I can assimilate love, I can fake love.
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: I can't give you genuine love if I'm not loving me.
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: We us everyone.
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: They go what I got to love everyone.
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: So, michael, I'm going to ask the question question can you love someone but not like them very much, I believe so I know.
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: So, man, I love everybody.
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: There's some people I'm not exactly in adoration of and people go.
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: Oh what?
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: You have a difference in geopolitical conversation?
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: I love everybody.
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: I don't wish anyone ill will.
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: I don't wish anyone pain or suffering, none of it.
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: They go oh, not even those people that hurt kids or are mean people.
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: And I go listen, I don't to hang out with those people.
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: Their frequency, their energy is not my frequency and energy.
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: If I was in their presence I might do something very foolish, because I can't stand when people are bullies Like I have.
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: A huge.
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: One of my trigger points is bullying and I won't stand for it in any way, shape or form verbal, emotional, spiritual, intellectual.
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: I see people who are so intellectual and they try to bulldoze people in Bethlehem with BS.
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: It's not just belief systems, it's also cow manure.
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: Just letting you all know.
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: I told you I'm going to keep it real why this is so important.
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: Know your tribe, know the people that you need in your life to fill up, to feel full, and they go.
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: But, chuck, you said yes, so here's the deal.
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: I'm going to surmise everything that Michael and I talk about in one statement.
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: Your relationship with anyone starts with you.
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: The only reason why you can call it a fruitful relationship is because you feel full, you feel connected, you feel energetic, you feel like more of yourself when you're in the presence of this person.
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: And it has nothing to do with the other person.
• 30:41
  Speaker 3: It has to do with how you feel about yourself.
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: So if you are feeling disgruntled and you don't feel connected, please understand this one simple thing You're struggling with loving yourself, appreciating yourself, honoring yourself.
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: I love that you say that.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: First of all, you just dropped so many gold nuggets I don't even know where to start and we're already over time.
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: My brother, time, my brother, no, no, no, we own the place.
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: It's fine.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: It's fine and I know, I know you need to go, um, you know it, you know I, I teach my clients and I do it myself and I do teach my clients because I've seen the results of you know you don't have to to love what somebody does, their actions, those kinds of things.
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: But as a human being, when you can look at somebody's absolute strangers and again I do this and and put intent of I love you, just as a human being here on earth, with us battling with things, just like, just like everybody does every day, to some extent it changes your frequency, it gives you more energy and people feel it.
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: I've been through Walmart, chuck, having the most amazing conversations with strangers, and it happens all the time.
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: And when you can draw in good other people, I mean, chuck, we're friends for a reason, right, it changes your world because again, it starts with your love.
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: First for yourself, you've got to put on the option mask before you put it on for someone else.
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: They tell you that for a reason and then, when you can create that with intent, love other people.
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: It brings the right people to you.
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: I believe that 100%.
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: Brother very well stated If you like classic rock, 89.9, hit the channel, it's right there.
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: However, if you put in 89.9, 89, or 90.1, you're just a couple of frequency modulations off.
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: All of a sudden it might be, you know, like oh, wait, wait a second, why am I hearing mariachi music?
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: I thought I would that well, and I happen to be in mexico, so it's all good.
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: But for you all, understand the frequency that you modulate at, so that you actually attract other people who like classic rock.
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: Think about that for a second.
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: It's so simple.
• 33:16
  Speaker 3: You do not have to.
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: And if you're like, oh, but if I want to listen to someone else's station, I go, then fine, as long as you fill up from it.
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: This is how you find new communities of people Like, oh, I'm going to join a church, I go, which one?
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: What's the frequency, what's the modulation, what's the conversation like, how's the congregation?
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: What kind of communities are you in?
• 33:41
  Speaker 3: See, I'm not a huge proponent of masterminds, I'm a huge proponent of communities.
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: Because they're heart-centric, not just head-centric.
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: Like-minded you only get you so far.
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: Like-hearted, take you to the moon and back.
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: Amen, amen.
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: Chuck, absolutely love that, and we are so far beyond now.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: All right, buddy, hey.
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: So, chuck, how do people reach out to you?
• 34:10
  Speaker 3: my friend, it's real simple.
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: Come check us out at YBL now dot com.
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: Or if you have a question and you really just want to start a dialogue, just email me, chuck, ybl now dot com, and it's really, really, really simple.
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: Live your best life.
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: You know, michael, I love you.
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: Thank you for having this platform and allowing me to be a guest on your show today.
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: This is important information and happy to oblige you Anything you need, my man.
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: Much love to you and Susan.
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: Thank you, man, and you know the YBL community is an amazing community.
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: It's an amazing tribe.
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: Anybody that's interested, reach out.
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: Obviously, chuck, if we can and we're going to have you back on.
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: Obviously, come on now If you can give us three tips to get veterans and their families further faster.
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: One slow down.
• 35:01
  Speaker 3: Speed kills.
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: Speed kills indiscriminately.
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: Two be patient with yourself.
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: Be patient with yourself.
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: Three self-care is not selfish, it's a necessity.
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: Make sure you're getting in your reps, if it's, and I'm going to make it real simple body, mind, spirit.
• 35:23
  Speaker 3: 30 minutes each one of those categories each day.
• 35:26
  Speaker 3: Feed yourself healthy information, healthy energy, healthy time and healthy food.
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: Move your body deliberately.
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: Absolutely love it, chuck.
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: Time is the most precious resource we have as human beings.
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: My friend, you don't get it back.
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for spending this time out of your life to help create a ripple effect and just to be there for the veterans and their families as well, as you always are our family, so really appreciate that.
• 35:53
  Speaker 3: It's a pleasure, my brother.
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: Much love to you and yours.
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: Thank you All.
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: Right, everybody, we're out of here.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: Thank you for joining us on another insightful journey of your Thoughts your Reality podcast with your host, michael Cole.
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: We hope the conversation sparked some thoughts that resonate with you.
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: To dive deeper into empowering your thoughts and enhancing your reality, visit empowerperformancestrategiescom.
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: Remember your thoughts shape your reality, so make them count.
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: Until next time, stay inspired and keep creating the reality you desire.
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: Catch you on the next episode.
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: Until next time, stay inspired and keep creating the reality you desire.
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: Catch you on the next episode.