Latest / From My Planit to Yours... / Episode 36: It IS My First Rodeo, But I've Been Practicing A LOT

Transcript

Episode 36: It IS My First Rodeo, But I've Been Practicing A LOT · From My Planit to Yours...

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: What a relief.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: We're finally here.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Happy Thursday.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Blizzard Planet.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: This is Self-Friendship Podcast, where playfulness meets societal reflection.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine this.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: You hopped on the band rocket,
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: and now you're on Planet Butter,
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: a world made of delicious,
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: sparkly peanut butter volcanoes,
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: and an adorable disco ball of self-reflection is whirling around in your
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: transforming convertible.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for joining me in my 36th episode where I'll be sharing my answer to last
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: week's question,
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: why fight or flight is a love-based reaction.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: A perspective dance with studying.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: A sentence to say first thing in the morning.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: Massage pressure and self-friendship.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: A party of one.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: A note on timeliness.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: A note on boundaries.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Self-friendship word math.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: A perspective dance with our egos.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: A note on space in relationships.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: A perspective dance with escapism.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: The prerequisites for poise.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: How to perpetually upgrade.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: It is my first rodeo.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: What to do when you misplace your sense of self.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: a perspective dance with being or feeling quote-unquote ready,
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: out of mouth,
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: out of mind,
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: how to win in a power dynamic,
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: and a brand new question for all of us to self-reflect,
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: self-connect,
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: and email me,
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: if you desire,
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: selffriendshippodcast at gmail.com.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: My answer to last week's question of the week,
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: which was,
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: what have you overcome that doesn't exist to the outside world but does in your
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: inside world?
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'll say varying dimensions of anxiety.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: Specifically,
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: in the past,
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: I had the tendency to be hyper defensive or protective of myself in new friendships
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: because I've had a lot of tough experiences as a kid with friends.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: Upgrades that came early in life.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: I only recently started viewing lessons as the question, are you willing to upgrade?
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: But what's really cool is that even through those tricky experiences as a kid,
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: I was interestingly grounded in myself despite the defensiveness and protective
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: nature that I also cultivated.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: I highlight this layer to convey the fact that we're all multidimensional people.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: I can both be grounded and confident in my existence and still experience anxiety
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: in those social relationships.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's something I had to overcome, despite it not actually existing in the outside world.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: I overcame this by continuing to expose myself to new people and practicing my
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: self-talk in this capacity.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: Go me!
• 2:45
  Alright.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Why fight or flight is a love-based reaction.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Fight or flight is often seen as a fear-based reaction to the threat of death.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: However,
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: through the lens of self-friendship,
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: the daily practice of embracing,
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: understanding,
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: and enjoying ourselves,
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: it's more accurately a reflection of our will to live.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: Humans' intellectualization of fear,
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: particularly the fear of death due to our uncertainty of it,
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: is the sole reason we see fight or flight as fear-based.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: We've collectively agreed,
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: for the most part,
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: that death is scary simply because we're so uncomfortable with our inability to
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: understand it.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: In turn,
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: as it relates to fight or flight,
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: we've taken this intellectualization of fear and our inability to understand death,
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: and we've agreed that fight or flight must be fear-based.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: humans the only animal capable of our level of intellectualization and learning
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: have unfortunately prioritized control and understanding resulting in
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: intellectualized fear overshadowing our innate beauty of our existence that is a
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: will to live which is love love exists without our intellectualization fear does
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: not
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: now at Perspective Dance with studying.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: I don't believe in studying.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm also a decade out of school, thankfully.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: I was never a studier.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: It really, truly, truly never made sense to me.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: I always thought, aren't they testing to see what I learned from taking their class?
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: So whatever I learned, that's what I knew for the test.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: No more, no less.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: I would cram a bit right before the exam,
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: usually just looking at somebody else's study guide,
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: to be perfectly honest,
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: because they were kind enough to share it with me.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: But the idea of memorizing things I'm supposed to learn,
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: that's like a narcissist becoming a self-help coach.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: Ha ha!
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: See how crazy that is?
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, now a sentence to say first thing in the morning.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: As you may or may now know,
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: first thing I do in the morning is smile and hug myself and just this week,
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: right as I was getting out of bed,
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: I suddenly said,
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: let's have some fun.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, God, and I just felt that was so cool.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: I naturally said that about my day.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so I obviously had to share it with you in case you wanted to try it for yourself.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: If you did, let me know how the rest of your day goes.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: Now, massage pressure and self-friendship.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: I saw a clip on another podcast the other day that said,
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: tell me how long it takes you to order your coffee and I'll tell you how big your
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: bank account is.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: I thought that was hilarious.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: So here we are.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me the massage pressure you prefer and I'll tell you how strong your self-friendship practice is.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: the stronger the massage the stronger your self-friendship the softer the pressure
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: the weaker your self-friendship practice now seriously wizard's dictionary word
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: think about this if you don't like to physically work through the tension in your
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: body that's subconsciously built up on a daily basis in a way that releases as much
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: tension as possible
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: How can you possibly embrace,
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: understand,
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: and enjoy yourself on a deeper mental,
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: emotional,
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: and spiritual level?
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Riddle me that.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, party of one.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: As a loving reminder,
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: party of one means having fun with oneself,
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: for oneself,
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: as oneself,
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: anywhere,
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: everywhere,
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: no matter who's there.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: We become our party of one by consistently practicing self-friendship.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Each episode,
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: I share little tidbits from my life that happen thanks to me showing up in the
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: world as my party of one.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: And again, as you may or may now know, I've been living in Bali, Indonesia.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of people come here to get yoga teacher certifications.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: And while I love to participate in yoga classes,
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: I rarely experience a high-quality instructor,
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: which results in me not enjoying participating in yoga classes and quickly leaving.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: Every day,
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: I left a class after 10 minutes and I ran over to my gym because I could not be
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: bothered with that instructor.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: My party of one because I practice self-friendship, embracing, understanding, and enjoying myself.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: I have very high standards for my yoga classes and I know my mind and my body will
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: not be happy if I stay in a class that doesn't meet my standards.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't fazed by it.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't bothered.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: I kept my fun going by laughing it off as yet another below average yoga instructor and body.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I did something about it that I knew would contribute to my mind and body continuing to be
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: And now a note on timeliness.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: I sauna and ice bath every day, gratefully.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: And the other day,
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: before I even arrived at the spa,
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't really want to ice bath because I didn't like the thought of being cold in
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: that moment.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: However, I immediately reminded myself.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: have to if i don't want to and two i'll want to once i go in the sauna this is a
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: testament to being present it wasn't time to ice bath so i didn't want to ice bath
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: when it became time i would want to also the consistent practice of going in after
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: the sauna causes my brain and body to associate the ice bath after the sauna so i
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: create the want
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: through psychological and physical association.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: And now a note on boundaries.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: Boundaries are the first core method of self-friendship, followed by confidence and alignment.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Now here's a loving reminder that I needed this week, so I thought I would naturally share it with you.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: Boundaries can and likely need to be applied to what we share with certain people.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: This is especially true for people in our lives we want to maintain positive
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: relationships with,
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: but where certain degrees of distance are also necessary.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: As with all things growth-oriented,
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: this is going to require and more so result in oscillating,
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: which I discuss in more depth in relation to growth on episode 23.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'll speak for myself.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: I've gotten pretty good at being mindful of what I share with certain people in my
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: life who I want to have positive relationships with and keep in my life.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: When I oscillate,
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: that is,
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: I go back and forth between sharing to the degree I want to and sharing more than I
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: want to.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: Well, here's the tricky thing.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: When I'm quote unquote oversharing,
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: it's that I share in a way that I want to be able to share with these individuals
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: that have learned it's actually best not to.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: so when there's a glimmer of hope that it's actually a safe space for me to share
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: my inner child gets all excited he's like oh cool maybe i can share and then i try
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: and i'm like oh no why did i do that i knew better and that is the oscillation guys
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: where i reaffirm my need for boundaries the next time i speak to those people i
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: oscillate back
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: to the healthy amount of sharing for me personally in that dynamic,
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: integrating my boundaries,
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: which enhances my confidence and results in sustaining my alignment.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: Again, those are the three core methods of self-adventure.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: Eventually, after enough oscillation, we lock it in, as I say.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: We start with awareness, we shift to oscillation, and then we lock it in.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's when we energetically upgrade.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: Bang, bang, boom.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: Cool.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Self-friendship word math, my favorite.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: This is an older quote of mine I rediscovered and felt inspired to share.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: Here you go.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: When we practice self-control, we earn self-respect.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: When we have self-respect, we increase our self-esteem.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: The higher our self-esteem, the greater our self-friendship.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: Go team.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: And now I love this one.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Get ready.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: A perspective dance with our egos.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of chat about getting rid of the ego or whatever.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the thing.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: The ego allows us to have a sense of self.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: The ego just needs to be in check like everything else.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: If we remove the ego, we remove a fundamental aspect of what makes us human.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: We can be aware of and connected to our highest consciousness,
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: our soul,
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: our intuition,
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: and still participate in life with our ego.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: If we solely operated as an observer,
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: as is encouraged in many spiritual practices,
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: we'd be taking our ego for granted by not participating in life to our full capacity.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: That's not being a team player with the universe.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: We can think of the ego as the soul's tool to assist in accomplishing what our soul
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: came to our body for.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: The skill of using our ego responsibly and operating from a place of consciousness
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: slash connection to our soul and intuition is magic.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: working as a team with the universe,
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: grounding our ego,
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: grounding our intuition,
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: and trusting in the uni slash the world around us to facilitate the life we are
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: consciously creating through our self-friendship practice.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: Again, I absolutely love that one.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: I encourage you to re-listen to it.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, a note on space in relationships.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: Listen very closely.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: If taking space...
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: from someone only has a positive impact on your life, it's not space, it's detachment.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: If taking space from someone only has a positive impact on your life, it's not space, it's detachment.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: now a perspective dance with escapism when you reach the level of party of one that
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: is extreme commitment to your self-friendship practice there is no escapism there's
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: just building the prerequisites for poise a quote from self-friendship article from
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: the planet butter publication titled poise under acknowledged and rare in existence
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: The prerequisites for poise are neutrality and indifference.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: When composure is met with our indifference as a skill and our neutrality as a skill,
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: and we have clarity on our standards for ourselves,
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: our relationships,
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: our dynamics in life,
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: external forces will not phase us.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: They might surprise us, but they won't phase us.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: This,
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: of course,
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: is because we practice self-friendship,
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: embracing,
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: understanding,
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: and enjoying ourselves.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: The clarity and certainty around ourselves and our standards for ourselves and the
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: world around us holds much more importance to us than anything that the external
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: world can present us with.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: That is, our self-certainty, clarity, and standards transcend all external elements.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: our self-friendship is a shield to our existence it's the atmosphere of our inner
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: world it's the gravity that supports our capacity to evolve poise its inner peace
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: its self-respect its class its elegance its centeredness its unwavering clarity of
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: ourselves it's not commonly discussed because it's not commonly embodied
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: The prerequisites for poise are neutrality and indifference,
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: forms of detachment that demand unequivocal self-trust and an objective
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: appreciation of the physics at play in the universe and its magical ways.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: And now how to perpetually upgrade.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I know you want to upgrade.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: This is actually also from a Poise article that I just read to you.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's just all so powerful.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: I had to break it down.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: We don't change our standards.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: We take them elsewhere.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: When we are faced with the possibility of our standards not being met,
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: the universe is asking us,
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: are you willing to upgrade?
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: As in, are you willing to commit to the standards you've set for yourself?
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: Are you going to respect yourself?
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: Are you going to honor your boundaries?
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: Or are you wavering on your self-clarity?
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: As we choose to commit to our standards and embody composure when our standards are
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: not met,
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: we carry on gracefully,
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: unfazed,
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: willing to upgrade.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: This allows our standards to be met more efficiently, affirming our clarity and inviting our upgrade.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: This will further craft new layers and degrees of inner confidence and peace,
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: expressing ourselves with class,
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: elegance,
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: composure,
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: poise.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, it is my first rodeo.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: People talk about the beginner's mind.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: While I wholeheartedly agree with this mentality,
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: I want to offer a little perspective dance of being in the middle of the beginning.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: Because here's the thing.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: As I see life, it is my first rodeo.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm not a newborn infant.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: I've got some experience and I think it's healthy to own and acknowledge that
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: experience while still being open to the flexibility,
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: agility,
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: and growth that is perpetually available.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: So,
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: It is my first rodeo, but I've been practicing a lot.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: So it's always the middle of the beginning.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you guys liked it.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my God, that's so fun.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: What to do when you misplace your sense of self.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: Notice I don't say lose your sense of self because we're always with ourselves.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: We're never lost.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes we might get a little confused with which version of ourselves is
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: about to show up when the uni comes in all hot and heavy asking us if we're willing
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: to upgrade.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: So,
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: I had a friend come to me this week share about her feeling frustrated because
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: she's worked so hard on herself the last bunch of years and has such a solid
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: relationship with herself.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: However, in dating someone new, the uni came in hot and early, asking her if she's willing to upgrade.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: Meaning, she's been faced with some challenges and some triggers.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: Triggers naturally surface former versions of ourselves.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: However, triggers do not suddenly erase years of hard-earned work on ourselves.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: That relationship she cultivated with herself still exists.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's simply being challenged by this romantic dynamic.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: The beauty in this is that triggers in this instance of a romantic dynamic invite
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: us to strengthen that relationship we have with ourselves,
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: which inherently paves the way for our willingness to upgrade,
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: as per the unity's question,
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: via this dynamic.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: In turn,
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: this will either strengthen the given romantic dynamic or more efficiently move her
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: forward to the next right person.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: The upgrade is always,
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: always,
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: immediately following a clear demonstration of immaculate commitment to ourselves,
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: to our self-friendship.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: You know it, the daily practice of embracing, understanding, and enjoying ourselves.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: Now a perspective dance with being or feeling quote-unquote ready.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's best that we recognize that we're ready when it happens for us,
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: whatever it is,
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: regardless if it's something we want or don't want.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: Everything happens on time.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: So we can do and be as much as we want and are capable of until the external magic
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_00: of the universe creates the circumstances for the thing to happen.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: that's when we'll be ready.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean it'll be easy.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: It means we're capable of the experience.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: Now, out of mouth, out of mind.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: We're all familiar with out of sight, out of mind.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm offering out of mouth, out of mind.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: That is, we both talk about something as a
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: Stop talking about it, which also leads us to releasing it from our mind.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: Out of mouth, out of mind.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: How to win in a power dynamic.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: This is actually also from a self-friendship article from the Planet Butter publication.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of this today.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you're enjoying it.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: Feel free to let me know.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: selffriendshippodcast.gmail.com I wrote this one on April 24th, 2024.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's a healthy reminder, so here we go.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: How to win in a power dynamic.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: Trick statement.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: We always win when we play our own game.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes when one person in a dynamic begins to play power games,
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: the other person will either play the game slash compete for power or think they're
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: not playing by being submissive.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: When someone decides to quote unquote play for power,
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: it's usually an attempt to prove to themselves or to the other person that they
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: have power too,
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: which really just means they're stuck in their unhealthy ego
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: Again, unhealthy ego.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: And by responding to someone else's attempt at a power dynamic,
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_00: they automatically lose because tension is automatically created now that both
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: people have decided to compete for power rather than collaborate.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: When someone thinks they're not playing by just going with it,
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: they're unfortunately leaning into a recipe of sacrificing their boundaries,
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_00: the first core method of self-friendship,
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: and therefore their confidence,
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: the second core method,
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: and by default interfering with their alignment,
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: the third core method.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: This means they are not practicing self-friendship and will not be able to have fun
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_00: with themselves,
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: for themselves,
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: as themselves,
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: a.k.a.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: they will not be able to show up as their party of one.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: And we don't want that.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because that also means they are not able to contribute their best selves to society.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: Planet Putter's mission of united individualism.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: Play your game.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's your world and you're living in it.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: What a powerful way to close out.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: Now the question of the week.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: What is something that has happened for you that you can recognize and appreciate
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: happened exactly on time and when you were quote unquote ready?
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: Feel free to email me selffriendshippodcast at gmail.com.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: And to be notified of new episodes and receive more playfully helpful content,
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: sign up for Planet Butter's Substack publication.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: The link is in the show notes.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: And the world's first coffee table book with a lesson,
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: Party of One,
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: Self-Friendship in Action,
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: is out now.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_00: The book is where the world of Planet Butter comes to life and Blissy,
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: the disco ball of self-reflection,
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: bops around seeing friends and making new while having fun with herself,
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_00: for herself,
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: as herself.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: The hardcover is available internationally on planetbutter.com.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: Please continue to enjoy and review.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's super duper helpful.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for landing on Planet Butter.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'll see you next Thursday.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_00: From my planet to yours, Blizzard.