Latest / The You Project / #1733 Fingers In The Batter - Dr. Jodi Richardson

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#1733 Fingers In The Batter - Dr. Jodi Richardson · The You Project

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Doctor Jody Richardson, Welcome back to the You Project.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: Thank you, it's great.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: How are you, lovely?
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: Do you know what?
• 0:09
  Speaker 3: I'm actually pretty done good. I'm pretty good. I am
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: flat out.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: I've got a million things to do.
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: I counted yesterday that I did sixteen trips in my car,
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: sixteen one six and cracked it a bit at the
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: kids who were a little bit kind of like, you know,
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: woe is me about a couple of things, and I'm
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: just like, no, woe is me today.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: But I'm getting things done.
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: I'm getting things ticked off and still managing to maintain
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: a pretty good sense of humor. And I'm pretty optimistic
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: about kind of what's to come. So yeah, generally very
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: good at the moment.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: What's the line or what's the juggling act between letting
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: kids fall over and fuck up and experience a little
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: bit of adversity and hardship and being the protective mum.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.
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  Speaker 3: As a general rule, parents have way too protective, way
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: too protective. We don't let them do the things in
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: life that we were allowed to do when we were kids.
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: But I say that it's very hard to step back.
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: I'll give you a personal example, I'll give you a
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: couple of examples. So our daughter recently got a detention
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: at school for her uniform.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: She wore the wrong socks. She knows better, all right,
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  Speaker 2: and she was like, oh, Mom, can you get me
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  Speaker 2: out of it. I'm like, no, You're going to the detention.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: Like it's just a little thing.
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: But I think we need to let them bear the
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: consequences of their choices.
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  Speaker 2: You know.
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: Another situation with her at the moment is that she
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: has a class that.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: She is not loving.
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: She's chosen some electives, all of them are great, bar
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: one not loving it and is kind of angling to
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: get out of it. And I kind of said to
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: her yesterday, look, it's only going to get better, not worse.
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  Speaker 2: I won't go into the details of why she's not
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: loving it. She wouldn't love that.
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  Speaker 3: But I just need my kids to face the challenges
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: as they come and learn that, you know what, it's
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: not the worst thing in the world. You can bear
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: the consequences when they come, if they come, which are rare,
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: and you can learn that you can get through it
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: and get out to the other side. You know, Other
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: things like letting them on the train, like we live
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: on the Mornington Peninsula. As you know, it's about an
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: hour from the city. Big shopping center for us sort
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: of the closest one would be Southland, And you know,
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  Speaker 3: I do worry a little bit, but I need to
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: let my kids on the bus on the train to
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: get out and do things and just let them experience
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: the world, because, my goodness, they are going to experience
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: it when they've got their licenses, and I want them
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: to have had some challenges, some mishaps, some experiences that
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: they've had to kind of navigate before they are doing
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  Speaker 3: it all on their own and I don't have any
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: kind of influence over it. So it's bloody hard. It
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: is hard to let go and let go of the rains,
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: but it's it's the only way that we can set
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: them up to actually get good at solving problems and
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: getting themselves out of a jam and learning that if
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: they do get in a really difficult situation and things
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: go south, that they can come out the other side
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: with our support as well. So it's not easy. There's
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: no one line. But in general, so many parents are
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: kind of doing too much, doing too much for them,
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: doing too much with them, and holding on pretty tight
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: to the rains and I've done that too. No judgment here,
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: but we've got to let go. We've got to let
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: go a lot more than we are.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: Do you think there's a relationship between how overprotected parents
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: are and the mental fragility of young people that we're seeing.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: I do as you know, like anxiety is like kind
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: of my wheelhouse.
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  Speaker 3: And you know, when we're anxious about something, like the
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: first time you invited me to be on your podcast,
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: I was so anxious, Like I was so anxious, but
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: it didn't stop me. I said yes, and I never
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: faulted on the fact that I really wanted to do it.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: But I don't know how.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: Many episodes we're into now, halps, But now I'm just
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: super excited to chat to you. I love chatting with you,
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: and I love this community you've created and it's so
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: much easier. And yes, there's a bit of anxiety because
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: I care. But the only way we can learn that
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  Speaker 3: we can do the things that we want to do
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  Speaker 3: is by doing them, and when we're protected from doing them,
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  Speaker 3: Like you know, a friend of mine was telling me
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  Speaker 3: her daughter didn't want to go to school because it
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  Speaker 3: was the day to present the class project so today
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: to present the post to the class, and everyone was
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: pulling out and parents were like giving the kids permission
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: to not go so they didn't have to do this thing.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: And I'll tell you what, when you don't do it the.
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: First time, it's so much harder the second. So yeah,
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  Speaker 3: not giving our kids freedom. And the other huge thing,
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: one of the huge things is risk taking, Like we
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: need our kids to fall off their bikes, to fall
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  Speaker 3: out of a tree, to make a poor decision about
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: a public transport choice, to you know, get themselves in
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: a bit of a pickle in the shopping center.
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  Speaker 2: I mean my daughter again, she was with her friend
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  Speaker 2: at Target.
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  Speaker 3: They had stuff from Kmart, they hadn't kept their receipt
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  Speaker 3: they'd paid for bags, they had receipts for the bags
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  Speaker 3: they'd bought the fifteen cent.
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  Speaker 2: Bags from Camut.
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  Speaker 3: They got stopped at the door at Target because the
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: woman thought that they'd been stealing and they absolutely hadn't
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: and they couldn't prove that, and you know, like if
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: we don't, if we don't give them I mean, not
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: that that was risk taking as such, because they're good
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: kids and they know not to steal, but risk taking
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: and choices in in situations where there's no adults is
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: so good for our kids, Like they learn to kind
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: of judge things, they learn to negotiate, they learn to communicate.
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: You look at a game, you let kids go for
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  Speaker 3: it and play a game like you think of backyard
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  Speaker 3: cricket like adults. If we just stand back, the kids
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  Speaker 3: will sort it out. They have to cooperate because they
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  Speaker 3: want other kids to play. They can't go smashing it
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  Speaker 3: out of the park all the time because everyone will
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: walk away.
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  Speaker 2: It's no fun if you're just dominating, you know.
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: If you want to kind of like develop the rules
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: around a game, you've got to communicate. And this free play,
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: these opportunities, they are gold, and they are so they're
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  Speaker 3: so missing from life for our young kids. They spend
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: a lot of time inside, they spend a lot of
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: time online, and it's really hurting them. It's really hurting them.
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  Speaker 3: So yeah, direct correlation between being over protected outside and
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  Speaker 3: as Jonathan Hate would say, who wrote the ani anxious General,
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  Speaker 3: underprotected online.
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  Speaker 1: So we know that. I love that. By the way,
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: we know that, like we want our kids to be
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: able to, as you said, solve problems because life is
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: in many ways life is about our ability to solve
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: problems and to navigate and negotiate uncertainty, unfamiliarity, discomfort, all
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: those things. Should we be And we also know that
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: resilience is important, but it seems like we're we're doing
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: the opposite of helping them be resilient. Should parents or
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: teachers or cares consciously help kids become resilient? Or is that?
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  Speaker 1: I mean, that's kind of what you're talking about. But
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  Speaker 1: do we need to be strategic about this? Like I'm
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  Speaker 1: just thinking, how do you get strong? Like without you know,
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  Speaker 1: like I'm not accidentally going to build muscle or build strength,
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  Speaker 1: or build power, or build muscular endurance, or build competence
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: or skill unless I go to the in this analogy,
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  Speaker 1: unless I go to the gym and do the things
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  Speaker 1: that create that outcome. What about is there a conscious
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  Speaker 1: way to do this in terms of mental and emotional
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  Speaker 1: strength and flex cognitive flexibility and capacity that is.
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  Speaker 2: It's the best analogy.
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  Speaker 3: And Lucy, one of our coaches at CrossFit, she said recently,
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  Speaker 3: because we're talking about women being strong, right, we're talking
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  Speaker 3: and she said, when she sees a woman who's got
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: like muscle, definition got some meat on her bones that
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  Speaker 3: you know she's worked for You know she has worked
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  Speaker 3: for it, she has earned that. You as have men
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  Speaker 3: who are training.
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  Speaker 2: You can't buy muscle. You have to do the work.
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  Speaker 3: And when it comes to resilience, you don't just you
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  Speaker 3: can't have it handed to you on a plate. You
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  Speaker 3: have to earn resilience. It's not built in a vacuum.
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  Speaker 3: But when it comes to kind of decisions around building resilience,
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  Speaker 3: and I think, I think as adults who are looking
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  Speaker 3: after or raising young people, gosh, I was just thinking,
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  Speaker 3: Peter and I haven't sat down had a good chat
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  Speaker 3: about just life and general and things because we're just
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  Speaker 3: so busy. I think taking the time out with yourself
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  Speaker 3: or with your partner if you've got one, or with
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  Speaker 3: whoever else is kind of in the circle of you know,
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  Speaker 3: a colleague, if you're a teacher, to sort of think about, right,
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  Speaker 3: what are we doing and what could we do differently
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  Speaker 3: that would help these kids to have the experiences that
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: they need, because that's really what it comes down to.
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  Speaker 3: You only learn what you can cope with by coping
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  Speaker 3: with things. And when you know, I can speak from
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  Speaker 3: example like it is, it is gut wrenching. It is
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  Speaker 3: sick to the stomach when your kids are going through stuff,
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  Speaker 3: like when your kid comes home and says someone's being
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  Speaker 3: and you know, watching them at school, like you know, somebody's.
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  Speaker 2: Giving them a really hard time on the.
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  Speaker 3: Daily at school, or they have worked their butts off
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  Speaker 3: to try to achieve something and they miss the mark,
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: or they just keep get rejected by someone if they're
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: you know, reaching out, or they want to sort of
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: connect with someone, or all of those things, all of
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  Speaker 3: those things that just break their hearts.
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  Speaker 2: And as a parent, you just feel sick. And so.
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  Speaker 3: I have to tell myself and I am not the
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  Speaker 3: perfect parent in you know, you know, I'm not trying
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  Speaker 3: to say that I'm doing it all right. I'm navigating
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  Speaker 3: it as I go. But I have a really, i
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: guess a strong understanding in myself that as hard as
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: it is to let them go through these challenges, I
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  Speaker 3: have to step back, not away, not stepping away. I'm
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: not absent, but I am not trying to problem solve.
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  Speaker 3: I am not trying to pave the path or what
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: was that thing there was snowplow parents. I think there
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: for a while it were like zooming everything out of
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  Speaker 3: the way, you know, anticipating what could go wrong. I'm
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: trying to remind myself when things go really pear shaped
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  Speaker 3: that it is an opportunity. And you know, at fourteen
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  Speaker 3: and sixteen, I can see it in the kids now
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  Speaker 3: that that resilience muscle is growing. That resilience muscle is growing,
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: and they've had enough experiences, you know, on their COVID kids,
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  Speaker 3: like a lot of you know, teenagers their age, they
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: went through the most difficult hard times, you know, and
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: our son lacerated his liver.
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  Speaker 2: At the end of COVID.
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  Speaker 3: He had a bike accident and lacerated his liver and
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  Speaker 3: it was on the verge of needing surgery.
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  Speaker 2: It was.
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  Speaker 3: It was terrifying, and you know, obviously you can't problem
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  Speaker 3: solve your way out of that. You just get them
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: through the emergency center and all of that. But you
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: just have to kind of go right with every check
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: mark on the board of shitty things that happen. It's
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: a learning experience and we don't like it, but we
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: have to tell ourselves when they learn that I can
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: go through a serious injury and come out the other side.
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: I can go through a rejection and come out the
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  Speaker 3: other side, you know, he got a detention, and I
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: was I high fived him that he got a detention.
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  Speaker 2: Because he's pretty straight laced.
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  Speaker 3: And he made a decision one day to leave the
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: school grounds because his mates were all going to the
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: local shops and he didn't want to be the one
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: wauser who was left behind. And I said, you know,
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: I think that was actually a good decision because your
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: social connections are everything when you're a teenager. And I'm like,
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: just wear that detention. I think that you made the
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: right decision under the circumstances.
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  Speaker 2: It's very safe. You know.
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  Speaker 3: Obviously as a former teacher, you know, I sort of
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: think what if the school heard me saying this, Well,
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: I for my kid, that was the right choice, and
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, go to the detention. As it turned
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: out of his having his wisdom teeth out on the
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: day of the detention, and they never followed up with it.
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  Speaker 2: He got out of it in the end.
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  Speaker 3: But just this resilience piece is really lacking. Kids are
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: quite fragile. Many are struggling. And what I'm hearing from
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: my friends who are fifty like me and are kind
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: of managing generations that have kind of come through below us,
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: behind us.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: That there's a lot of things that they're not very
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: resilient about.
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  Speaker 3: And I'm generalizing, but it's our job now to let
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: our kids go through the stuff they have to go
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: through so that they can build that they will thank
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: us and we will be able to relax a lot
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: more when they're older, knowing that they've got what they need.
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: They're well equipped to cope in this world that is
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: really hard sometimes.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: I remember a lady that I used to train Joe
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: a long time ago, like twenty five years ago, and
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: I got them well with this lady, and she was lovely.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: She was a sweetheart, and I don't mend that and
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: patronizing love. But all the issues like completely, like body dysmorphia,
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: everything revolved around and she knew it, like we spoke
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: about it regularly, and and like she was quite irrational
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: about her food and her exercise. She was quite obsessed,
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: and she'd you know, she'd over not over eat, but
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: she'd eat a bit of whatever cake and then she
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: wouldn't eat the whole next day. And then you know,
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: a lot of irrational, unhealthy relationship with her body and food.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: And originally a very very serious eating disorder then eventually
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: just disordered eating and all the stuff right, And we
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: spoke about it, but I'd never met a daughter. And
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: then I met her daughter, like after about a year,
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, she's just handed down all her issues
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: to her daughter. Her daughter was exactly. Her daughter was obsessed,
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: she was insecure, she weighed herself fifteen times a day.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: She was just a younger version of the dysfunction normal.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: And I remember thinking, Oh, she's unconsciously and unintentionally, I
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: think built another her. And so I guess my question
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: is all of us, me included. Of course, we've all
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: got issues, and we also know that our children to
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: an extent are a byproduct of not only us genetically,
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: of course, but also socially, emotionally, psychologically, behaviorally. Do you
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: ever think about handing down your issues to your kids?
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: Do you? Like, I'm pretty sure that, Like, I don't
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: know any parents that's got all their shit together. I
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: don't know any human including me. How do we how
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: do we not guarantee? But how do we do our
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: best that we don't pass on our own negative traits
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: and issues and behaviors?
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: Oh gosh, no, inevitably we will because they watch us closely,
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: and they learn, they learn from us, and it helps
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: if we're cognizant. I guess of what what our challenges
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: are and our foibles and our you know, our habits
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: and the things that we do. You know, I heard
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: of someone who's who you know that the dad drinks
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: a lot of beer after work. And then you know
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: the little kids, a little toddler and they're like, well,
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: can I get your beer from the Not the toddler,
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: but you know, little kid, can I get your beer dad?
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: You know, And and it's.
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: Just like classic kind of this what this child is
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: seeing is this is the pattern. And you know, I
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: think about how I've been kind of shaped by my
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: own mom and dad, particularly my mum, and she has
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: an anxiety disorder, and I am constantly sort of thinking.
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: And Peter will say to me, like, I'll give you
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: an example for me. Right when I was brought up,
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: I was not allowed to put my finger in the batter,
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: you know, when we're baking cakes. I wasn't allowed to
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: pinch food off, Like if there's roast potatoes on the
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: baking tray, I was allowed to pinch food off the tray.
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: I had to wait for things to be dished up,
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: and I know it's something major, but now, like, I've
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: got this thing about kids in the kit I mean,
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: I bake with the kids, and the kids are cooking
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: and stuff. But if somebody goes to put a finger
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: in the batter, oh my gosh, I have this visceral
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: reaction because because for me, that was if that was
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: something that I was really taught not to do. And
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: so I react to that, and and you know, and
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: I have this. I don't have a think about germs
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: per se. I mean, I'm not like OCD about that.
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: I've had my struggles with OCD in the past, but
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: I do think about the fact that, oh my gosh,
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: have they washed their hands all the things that came
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: up for me when I was a kid.
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: And Pete's like, and I'm like.
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: Sorry, sorry, guys, because I'll react and Pete will say,
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: we don't want this to we don't want to create
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: in the kids.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: What what is happened for you? Kind of thing.
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: And it's again, it's low stakes. It's not a big deal,
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: but it's that easy. Like I get this, and there's
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: a name for it. I can't recall, you know, when
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: metal on metal how are you with like, you know,
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: if the two the times on two forks get stuck together,
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: like I'm literally having chills now even thinking about it,
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: and I react and my daughter does too, And I
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: think that that's just a learned thing.
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: Had I not reacted every time.
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: That happened in the kitchen, she probably wouldn't I that,
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: But I guess all we can do is kind of think, right,
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: what is it about the way I operate that I
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: would like to be different for my kids and to
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: be open about it, Like I've talked a lot about
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: my mental health, and I guess, you know, when these
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: things are happening that example of like fingers in the
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: batter because we bake a bit around here.
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to.
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: Make that change and almost invite it now so that
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: I can get used to it. I can adapt, and
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: you know other things, you know, like our lifestyle habits
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: we can pass on which are absolutely fantastic, like exercise
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: and alcohol.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: I've stopped drinking.
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: I'm a non drinker now, and I think that that's
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: been a lot of There's been a lot of conversations
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: in our house about alcohol and food choices and protein
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: and fruit and veggies, and stuff.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: So it goes both ways. Yes, we pass stuff on.
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: Yes we can't help it pass on habits and choices.
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: And behaviors in our kids. But we can be conscious
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: about it for much of it, and where we are
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: struggling with things, we can just talk about it and
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: sort of say, hey, I don't want this for you.
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: You know, I had to make my bed. I had
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: to make my bed, and you're not allowed to sit
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: on my bed. If Mum vacuumed the shag pile carpet,
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: you're not allowed to walk on it. She'd say, unless
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: you learned to hover, you're not going in that room.
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: And I would walk on the furniture. It was like
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: everything had to be straight because she had to manage
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: your own anxiety like that. And then the day Peter
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: and I the first morning after making the bed and
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: he sat on it.
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: I was like, no, you can't sit on the bed.
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: He's like, ah, I can, and watch me and I'm
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: like no, but I've just made it and he's like
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: and he's like, well, that's not the way I was
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: brought up. And feel free to straighten it up again
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: when I get up sitting on it to put on
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: my socks, and then he'd have you want to invite
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: people around to our new home, and I'll be like,
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: but I haven't cleaned, but I haven't planned it. But
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: he goes, it's okay, it's okay if you're not comfortable
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: go out with your mates on Saturday night. Don't don't
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: stress about it. But he kind of helped me to
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: learn to relax. So I've got a lot of issues, clearly, but.
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: I think it's like, yeah, but if you're not comfortable,
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: that's okay. Be uncomfortable, and over time that will change.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm thinking as you're talking. You know, so
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: much of this show and your show and shows like
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: this are about learning, growing, evolving. Yeah, yeah, it's such
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: a huge part Also of growing and evolving is actually
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: about unlearning, Like what are the behaviors I need to unlearn?
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: What's the thinking I need to unlearn? What are my
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: beliefs that I need to put under a spotlight and
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: go do they serve me or sabotage me? Because you know,
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: like when that is the lens through which you view
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: the world, you can't sit on the bed lens and
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: get the fuck off. What are you doing? Right? That's
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: a problematic lens because that makes you know one part
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: of life hard and then you go, hang on, Okay,
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: what's the worst that can happen? Well, the bed's a
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: bit messy, Okay is that acceptable? I guess? So, all right,
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: well fuck that off. That doesn't serve me because not
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: only is not sitting on the bed is not only
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: is sitting on the bed not a problem, but it's
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: also not a reason for internal chaos or anxiety, and
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: it's also not a reason to potentially have a problem
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: with your partner. And you're like, but I think the
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: thing is, doctor Jodi, is that this stuff is so
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: ingrained that we don't have that level of in the
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: moment awareness. And it's only when you step back now,
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: like you and me, where you're not you're not doing
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: that anymore. You're not in the bedroom, he's not sitting
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: on the bed. But we're objectively analyzing a thing, or
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: as objective as we can be looking through the Craig
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: and Jody windows of course, but yeah, it's like, this
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: is I guess for me, the beauty of self awareness
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: is just trying to not judge, not criticize, not loathe,
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: not self loathe, but just go ah, why am I like,
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: why do I react that way? Why am I doing this?
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: Why am I saying this? Where is this coming from?
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: Does this way that I think does it actually help?
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: Does it serve me? Is it a positive? And if
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: it doesn't serve me? Good? So tick, let's recognize that.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: Now what can I do to maybe reverse that or
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: undo that?
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: It's and it takes time.
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: And like you say that, awareness comes with mindful mode
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: moments and not just kind of sleepwalking through life, which
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: is so easy to do this, you know, this busyness.
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: I'm very conscious of how we can just go through
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: the day just kind of getting stuff done. And that
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: was me yesterday. And I stop and think now that
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: we're having this conversation about like how much I've learned
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: through my relationship with Peter and how he's a very
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: you know, anxiety is not really kind of something that
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: he It's not something he struggles with obviously, like every human,
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: he has his moments. Multi story car parks is one
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: of those trigger that for him. But the awareness is huge,
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: and I think this idea that we can we can
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: do things differently, and it is uncomfortable.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: It is so uncomfortable, and.
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: There was a period of time where I just decided
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: I am just not going to make the bed at all.
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: And there were months and I just got used to that.
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: I just kind of taught myself. And it's saying it
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: out loud sounds a bit pathetic because it's like, oh like,
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: but it was about control, and it was about order,
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: and it was about and I think, and I don't
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: just think. I know, and the science tells us when
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: there is chaos around us, a mess, it does affect,
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: especially when we're anxious, It does affect the way how
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: you know, how clearly we can think, how settled we
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: are into the things that are doing the work that
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: we need to do. And so many of us need
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: to kind of organize our space, to organize our minds.
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: But I just unloaraned those.
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: Habits and that awareness to sort of say, how is
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: this serving me?
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: How is this serving me? And why?
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: And I had a really interesting conversation on my podcast
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: about Christmas stress and family dynamics, and I guess Marie
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: Vakacas she said it was a really interesting and talking
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: about perspective and the lens through which we're looking at things.
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: She shared this example about Christmas, about you know, one person,
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: let's just say that the husband has wants to spend.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: A lot of money.
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: Apparently hams can be very expensive one vegetarians, we don't
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: need ham on Christmas Day, but you know, once the
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: most beautiful ham, the really expensive ham, the huge piece
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: of ham. The table has to be set a certain way,
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: certain foods need to be included, things need to be
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: just so. And then the partner's saying, but the ham's
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: too much. You know, things are a bit tight. Why
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: can't we just get the supermarket one or go with
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: a roast couple of roast hooks this year instead? And
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: that they ends up being tension and maybe even really
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: significant arguments over over the ham.
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: She's like, it's not about the ham. It comes back to.
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: What are our beliefs around Christmas Day? For example, what
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: have we been raised with, what's important to us about
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: the day. It's probably not about the ham. It might
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: be about spoiling people. It might be about feeling like
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: our Christmas will be less than in the eyes of
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: other people that are coming if we don't kind of
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: do things the way we've always done them. So it's
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: not really about the thing we often think it's about.
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: It can be about the things that are kind of
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: come with us through our childhood and through all of
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: our experiences that kind of culminate in an argument about
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: the one hundred dollar ham versus the fifteen dollar one.
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: It's not about the ham, and it just like I
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: think about, I'm trying to bring that thinking to other
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: things in my life, like what is this really about?
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: And the question you ask, does it serve me? It's
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: such a it's a question we can all ask, and
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: hopefully with some time off over the coming weeks, we
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: might all have some time to sort of think about
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: what are we doing that's serving us and what are
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: we doing that's not.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: And I'm not talking about news resolutions.
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: I'm talking about long term kind of reflection opportunities and
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: trying to make change over time that's going to serve
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: us well and better in terms of our lifestyle and
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: our health and our mental health as well.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: I think I'm always amazed at how adaptable and resilient
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: and incredible people can be when they have to be right. So,
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: my mum's best friend who's like my second mom, she's
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: very unwell at the moment. Shout out. Her name's Ray
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: shout out to Ray and she's very unwell, and there's
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: just a lot of tough stuff going on at the moment,
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: really tough stuff. But let me tell you she's got
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: four daughters. Yeah, everyone's fucking amazing. Like, no one's complaining,
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: no one's no one's sinking, everyone's just stepping up. Everyone's
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: just you know, it's like, sometimes we can turn away
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: one out of ten minor problem into a fifteen out
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: of ten catastrophe, and then other times, when we really
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: are confronted with something incredibly difficult, there's something in us
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: that goes, well, I can't have a breakdown because all
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: this stuff needs to get done. I need to solve
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: this problem. I need to be this person I don't have,
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: Like if I'm not resilient now shit won't happen. So
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: I need to be. And so I have this awareness
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: that while you know, faced with the one out of
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: ten minor issue, that really isn't a problem, but we
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: can create a problem, like we can fucking invent problems
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: where none exists. Yet what is encouraging for me is,
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: you know, not everyone. Of course, some people do fall
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: apart understandably, no judgment, that's just what happens. But also
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: at the same time, you know, average people with respect
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: in inverted commas, I'm an average person. I'm not special.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: Average or typical or normal people can do fucking incredibly atypical, heroic,
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: incredible things when they just have to. So I find that, Yeah, that,
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: and it's interesting. And it's like, then you're having a
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: meltdown or you were at one stage over the fucking bed, right,
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: yet put in something which doesn't even compare something horrible
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: and terrible and potentially life threatening. I have no doubt
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: that you would just step up and do what needed
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: to be done, and you wouldn't say I'm too anxious
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: to deal with this. You just fucking deal with it.
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: And I think this, like this awareness of how much
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: capacity we have, like how much like peoples not misrepresent
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: misunderstand me, like so many people think, but you're so smart,
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: you're so you're so fuck so talented. You just I'm like, no,
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: I'm not, and I'm not like I'm I'm I struggled
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: at school, I struggled socially. Socially, I struggled with my
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: body and my health. The fucking nothing was easy. Ye
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: you know, my first degree, I did at thirty six,
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: and I was terrified for the first six months. I
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: started my PhD at fifty six, also terrified, Still terrified. Right,
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: none of this is easy or painless. Like the only
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: thing that I'm pretty good at and comfortable with is
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: what we're doing right now, which is just chatting to humans. Yeah,
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: but all of the other stuff, you know. But my
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: point is this, we can do incredible shit when we
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: don't let ourselves get in the way. Yeah, when we
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: don't let our programming and conditioning and fear and stories
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: and internal bullshit. Like I so many people I meet,
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: their genetics are not the problem. Their potential as not
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: the problem. Their brain is not the problem in terms
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: of their IQ, their intellect, their resources. It's like all
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: their thinking, like they're thinking is basically a psychological and
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: emotional prison. And then they wake up and they're fifty.
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: I know, I know, I know.
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: I'm thinking a lot about this at fifty myself, and
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: thinking about and yeah, thinking about the fact that time
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: is just passing by so fast, and if you're it
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: just pains me that people, so many people will wake
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: up when they're fifty, think about something now, and then
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: blink and they're sixty and have so much regret. I
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: was having a chat with my friend Sale a few
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: days ago and we were just talking about what if I.
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: Was given a you to live, what would be really
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: important for me to get done? What would I want
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: to not die having not done? That's too many negatives?
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: What do I want to do before I die?
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: And I got thinking about this a lot, because I,
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: like you said, about stepping up, we are going to
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: try not to get upset. But I lost my dear
• 33:16
  Speaker 3: aunt recently, twenty seventh of October. She passed away and
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: it was a shock. She had a stroke. She had
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: that thunderclap headache. I hadn't heard of that before, but
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: she had a massive stroke. And like you say about
• 33:32
  Speaker 3: stepping up, like her family's all around the world for us,
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: She's one of seven kids. Mum and I are the closest,
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: and my other Arnie, and we just like we were just
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: like right. I left an event, actually, Craig, I was
• 33:45
  Speaker 3: leaving an event relate a relate event for eighty nine
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: point nine. The light and my phone rang at eleven o'clock.
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: Driving home, I thought Mum's ringing to keep me company
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: on the drive home. No Mum was ringing me to
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: tell me the news, and so we basically in the
• 33:59
  Speaker 3: middle of the night at the hospital at the Alfred,
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: came home, I took the kids to school, back to
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: the Alfred at the Alfred almost every day as you
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: would be, and thankfully Annie Jenny regained consciousness. We had
• 34:10
  Speaker 3: lots of chances to chat and everything, and unfortunately, you know,
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: it was just too.
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: Severe a stroke.
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: But it certainly speaks to your point of the stepping
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: up that happens when the shit hits the fan is
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: phenomenal and everybody did it. But also this idea that
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: this mortality. We don't talk about death enough.
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: We don't. We don't want to think about it. It's
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: going to happen for all of us. We don't.
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: We don't want to really kind of spend too much
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: time in that space because it's it's worrying, it's frightening,
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: and I want to come back.
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: I want you.
• 34:45
  Speaker 3: I want to talk about a question you asked me
• 34:47
  Speaker 3: last time that I didn't answer, and I come up
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: with an answer about what do I need to do
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: that takes courage and it's related to this. I want
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: to talk about that before we finish but sal and
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: I were talking about what do we want to do,
• 34:59
  Speaker 3: what what kind of is really important for us? And
• 35:01
  Speaker 3: I think we don't know how much Tommy. If we
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: keep putting it off, it's never going to feel easier.
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: Like you say, it's just about kind of making a start,
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: and it's the consistency. It's the consistency of stepping forward
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: each day. Like you like you, you're so inspiring because
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: of the fact, I mean, I think you're an incredible
• 35:22
  Speaker 3: human and that the things that you've achieved are phenomenal.
• 35:26
  Speaker 3: Like you say, it hasn't come easy. It's just this
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: is something that's important. I'm going to do it, and
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: I'm going to put one foot in front of the
• 35:32
  Speaker 3: other and just keep going.
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: And it's amazing.
• 35:36
  Speaker 3: We underestimate what we can do in twelve months of
• 35:38
  Speaker 3: just putting one foot in front of the other.
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: I think it's so important.
• 35:43
  Speaker 3: And if you're listening and you're thinking of the things
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: that you wanted to do over the last ten years,
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: you haven't done it. Please don't wait for it to
• 35:48
  Speaker 3: feel easier, or to be less anxious, or to you know,
• 35:52
  Speaker 3: to have someone guide you. Just buddy start because eventually,
• 35:57
  Speaker 3: like for my gorgeous Anny Jen. I've been on the
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: phone with her on the Sunday booking tickets for an
• 36:02
  Speaker 3: event that we're going to go to us. You know,
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: we spent a lot of time together and Tuesday she
• 36:06
  Speaker 3: had this stroke. She never left the hospital. You just
• 36:10
  Speaker 3: don't know what's going to happen.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so true. God bless her and Arnie Jenny.
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: A few weeks ago. This sounds unrelated, but just in
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: terms of just just going I will just do it.
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: Like I did a little chat about this on the show,
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: but I don't know if you saw it, but my
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: phone told me about three weeks ago Joe basically that
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: I'm fat and lazy like it. It gave me alert
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: and mind. I saw that, yeah, basically, get off your ass, right,
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: And I looked at it, and generally I used to
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: walk like I guess somewhere between five and ten thousand
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: seven six, but for quite a long time because I
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: live at this fucking desk, you know, researching, studying, writing, recording,
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: doing business doing, coaching, doing workshops at this desk because
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: I do so much shit online, right, but it doesn't
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: mean I can't Anyway. I looked at that, and I
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: was averaging something like four and a half thousands. I'm like,
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: am I a plant? Am I A yucker? Am I
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: A fuck? Am I a rose bush? And I went,
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: that's it, that's it. And I just I went, that's it.
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: So from now I've got to do minimum of ten. Right,
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: So in the last three weeks, I've averaged just under
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: fifteen thousand. So and I'm not saying am I an
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: I good? Because anyone can do that, right. It is
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: just literally it's not like, oh, yeah, but you're genetically equipped. No,
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: And I'm sixty one, like me walking fifteen thousand steps
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: a day and I'm pretty much a bodybuilder. I'm not
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: a cardio king, right, But here's my point. Something in
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: my brain went, you need to change, and not one
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: day and not soon, and not when you're motivated, and
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: not when summer comes and not you need to fucking
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: change today. And so I just went, okay, and now
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: like this morning, it's so we're recording this, it's ten
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: twenty eight. I would say I've probably done seven thousand
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: already and I'll do today at least fifteen. And it's
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: not Oh, You're terrific, It's just like, no, this matters,
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: and I need to do this. And yes it's inconvenient
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: because I've got lots of other shits, but I need
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: to figure out a way. So I'm, as I said
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: in the thing, I'm now coaching people while I'm walking.
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: So all of the zoom coaching that I do, I'm
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: now doing on WhatsApp video and walking. So you know,
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: obviously I'm not walking in high traffic areas and I'm
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: not going to get run over. But here's my point, Like,
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: it is not about you know, if you spend your
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: life waiting for better genetics or more time, or the
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: perfect situation or the perfect conditions or the perfect environment.
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: For most people, it will not happen. But as you know,
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: as we said a minute ago, when the shit hits
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: the fan and there is like it has to be now.
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: There is no other time. There's only now. Because the
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: shit's happening now. You can't wait for more talent or
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: more courage or more time. Like you're just fucking doing
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: it now, will you just do it? And you do
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: it because there's part of your brain that goes, well, Craig,
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: this isn't optional. Now, imagine if every listener that's underwalking
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: just as a thought experiment. Like people when I need
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: to double my steps too, Well, imagine if in your
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: mind you truly believe that there was no option, and
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: so from tomorrow you had to double your steps and
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: you had to find a way, like there was no
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: other choice. Well, we just don't find a way. We
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: just all find a way. But the truth is, we
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: don't have to. We don't have to be courageous, we
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: don't have to walk more, we don't have to make
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: a decision, we don't have to change our diet today.
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: We don't have to conform an't that thing. We don't
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: have to. And this is the problem because the thing
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: that we need to do is not the thing we
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: want to do, and the thing that creates change is generally,
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: as everyone fucking knows, I beg But there's no other
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: truth that it's hard, it's uncomfortable, it's inconvenient. And so
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: while we consciously understand that, we subconsciously wait for the
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: perfect conditions and then boom we'ar fifty we do.
• 40:26
  Speaker 3: And honestly, my brother's arriving from London today. I'm so excited, Craig.
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: He's going to stay here for five weeks and I
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: just adore him and really look up to him, and
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: I'll never forget this is pre kids hanging out washing
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: outside here at home, Like I've got this picture in
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: my mind because it was such a pivotal moment. And
• 40:45
  Speaker 3: I when I started studying, I've done my PhD and everything,
• 40:50
  Speaker 3: and I just started becoming really interested in psychology and
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: behavioral change and positive psychology and happiness science and all that.
• 41:00
  Speaker 3: And I really wanted to contact the co owner of
• 41:04
  Speaker 3: the Hot Springs Peninsula Hot Springs, Charles Davidson, because I've
• 41:08
  Speaker 3: been to a breakfast networking event to hear him speak,
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: and he said, if you've got something that you want
• 41:13
  Speaker 3: to achieve, accomplished, to build, create, you've got to tell people.
• 41:18
  Speaker 3: Because when you tell people, people might go, I know
• 41:21
  Speaker 3: someone you should talk to, or or they might just
• 41:24
  Speaker 3: support you. But best case scenarios, they might make a
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: connection or And I said to Adam, I want to
• 41:30
  Speaker 3: I want to create this happiness retreat. I want to
• 41:32
  Speaker 3: call it the Happiness Retreat. I want to deliver it
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: at the Hot Springs. And I want to ask because
• 41:36
  Speaker 3: because because Charles said, if you want to do something,
• 41:39
  Speaker 3: you tell someone, I'm like, I want to tell him
• 41:40
  Speaker 3: this is what I want to do, and I'm pretty
• 41:42
  Speaker 3: much thinking, how could he say no? Because he's the
• 41:45
  Speaker 3: one that gave that advice, you know. Anyway, Adam said
• 41:49
  Speaker 3: to me when I was I said, I'm just I
• 41:51
  Speaker 3: feel so anxious about it. And he said, having courage
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: does not mean you are not frightened about what you're
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: about to do. He said, that is not what courage is.
• 42:02
  Speaker 3: It is knowing how terrified you are of doing something
• 42:06
  Speaker 3: and doing it anyway. I mean, it's not a new quote,
• 42:09
  Speaker 3: it's not new advice. But it was in that moment
• 42:13
  Speaker 3: that I realized that I'd been waiting. I had been waiting,
• 42:16
  Speaker 3: and I picked up the darn phone and lo and behold,
• 42:19
  Speaker 3: he said, I'd love to meet for a coffee.
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: Long story short.
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: Ten years later, I did the Happiness Retreat, I did
• 42:25
  Speaker 3: other public facing things. Somebody recommended me because of my work.
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: Eventually I ended up writing a book with the person
• 42:32
  Speaker 3: I did the next lot of work with. Now I've
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: got two books and my own business, and I'm just
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: had I not made that phone call, had I not
• 42:41
  Speaker 3: made that step, all of these other steps which have
• 42:44
  Speaker 3: been haven't been easy.
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: You know, I might be still sitting around.
• 42:48
  Speaker 3: I might be outside today pecking out the washing, thinking, gee,
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: I really like to make this phone call, you know,
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: and all of a sudden, ten years later, here I
• 42:56
  Speaker 3: am because of that phone call that I made, and
• 42:59
  Speaker 3: so yeah, it's you know.
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: It's great. And I think also in the middle of
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: your shitty self esteem and your shitty self doubt, and
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: you go, okay, well, I'll make a phone call anyway,
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: and maybe it won't work, and if it doesn't work,
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: that's okay. And if it does work, boom. And if
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: it doesn't work, I'll try something else. And if that
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: doesn't work, I'll try something else. And if people reject me,
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: that's cool. Some people will love me. And if I
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: fall down, that's cool. I'll get up. And if I
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: have a bad day, that's cool. I'll have a good
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: day one day. Like this is the journey. This is
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: the journey is navigating bullshit, you know, navigating mayhem and
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: mess and or most of the things on planet Craig
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: that impact me or intersect with me, or influence me
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: or in my orbit, most of them I can't control
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: most yeah, yeah, So what I do is I control
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: the things I can, and I adapt around the things
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: that I can't, and I ask good questions and I
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: try to be a good human. You know, but this
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: is you know, you're not going to get more talent.
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: You can get more skill and more understanding and awareness.
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: You're not going to get more hours in a day.
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: You're not going to get better genetics. You're not going
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: to wind back the clock. You're not going to be
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: forty in five years. So we go, all right, well
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: these are nones, these are certainties. So with all of
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: that in mind, what's possible? You know, what can you do?
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: What?
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: What can can you? Can you go for walk today?
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: Could you? Could you do some push ups against the
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: kitchen bench? Like two? Could you join a gym and
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: sit on an exercise bike? Could you afford two dollars
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: fifty a day? Because that's pretty much what could you
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: do that?
• 44:40
  Speaker 4: Well?
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Cool? Could you? Could you make a phone call
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: and apologize or ask a question? Or could you enroll
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: in a SERP three or two or one in something?
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: Could you read a book? Could you like the answer?
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: There will be a question that the answer is yes,
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: and you go, fuck, well done, let's do that, because
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: it's not even about doing the course or or building
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: the business. It's about who you become when you're doing
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: the course. It's about who you become when you write
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: the book, when you start the well Hello Anxiety podcast.
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: It's about who you become on the journey. You know.
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: For me, the new project has been an absolute blessing
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: and a gift. And I you know, I'm super fortunate
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: that I'm partnered with Nova, You're partner with Life FM.
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: We're both you know, super lucky, and we've both worked
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: hard though. But for me, truly, the joy is the
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: people I meet. The joy is this conversation. The joy
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: is meeting people from all over that I would never
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: even get an appointment with. I wouldn't even get an
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: appointment with half of the people that I talked to,
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: if not, if not for this thing, that this vehicle
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: that just opens doors, this conduit to fucking learning and growth.
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: And you know, but even with this, it's like, well,
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: nobody knocked on the door and said, Craig, here's a
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: success full show.
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: No, this is your fifth podcast, isn't it, Yes, it's
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: your fifth?
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Even last year I started a new show
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: called Life which I did two hundred daily episodes straight
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: and it was it was good. But I was doing
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: fourteen podcasts a week, and I'm like, okay, and you
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: get to the point where it was sponsored, it was
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: on the Nova platform. It was good and it was
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: going better than the average podcast. But I'm like, yeah,
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: this is okay. I learned something. What I learned is
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: I do not want to do fourteen episodes a week.
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: I can, I can, I don't want to. Hey, we're
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: going to wind up, but tell people. So Jody's podcast
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: is brilliant. She's brilliance called well, hallo anxiety. What else
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: do you want to?
• 46:48
  Speaker 4: Oh?
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: You wanted to answer a question?
• 46:50
  Speaker 2: I did, all right, have you got last time? Thank
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: you last time?
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: When you asked me what it is in the coming
• 46:59
  Speaker 3: months that I need to find courage for? And I
• 47:03
  Speaker 3: decided that I couldn't answer the question probably and that
• 47:06
  Speaker 3: I probably needed to do something that was going to
• 47:07
  Speaker 3: be hard because I can't come up. And nothing came
• 47:11
  Speaker 3: to mind until we got off the call, and I thought, actually,
• 47:14
  Speaker 3: there is something very big that I need to find
• 47:16
  Speaker 3: courage for and it's taking a bit of courage for
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: me to share it.
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: And I've thought about whether or I'll tell.
• 47:21
  Speaker 3: You this, and of course I am I. I bow
• 47:27
  Speaker 3: cancer runs in my family, and I'm quite happy helped
• 47:31
  Speaker 3: saying I'm quite healthy and well, I don't have a
• 47:33
  Speaker 3: diagnosis a bow cancer.
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: That's not where I'm going, but.
• 47:36
  Speaker 3: It runs in my family. And so I've been having
• 47:38
  Speaker 3: preventative checks colonoscopies.
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: Joy, oh, Joy.
• 47:42
  Speaker 3: And the last one I had, Craig was six months ago,
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: and I've just had another one and it was really
• 47:49
  Speaker 3: good news. But the last one I had, I got
• 47:51
  Speaker 3: diagnosed with this syndrome that trooples my risk of bow cancer.
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: And it was a long colonoscopy.
• 48:00
  Speaker 3: Came out of it feeling terrible physically, very frightened emotionally
• 48:04
  Speaker 3: getting the news that you've got this syndrome.
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: It's genetic.
• 48:07
  Speaker 3: There's nothing you can do about it, like literally diet, exercise,
• 48:10
  Speaker 3: you know. And one of the things that in my
• 48:15
  Speaker 3: follow up appointment with my gas storinrologist, he said, I
• 48:18
  Speaker 3: want to refer you to familial cancer genetic screening, And
• 48:26
  Speaker 3: basically what that means is they do a blood test
• 48:29
  Speaker 3: and determine what cancers you're at risk of. And I
• 48:34
  Speaker 3: was terrified by that idea because I thought gosh, and
• 48:38
  Speaker 3: that was a thing. When I got off the call,
• 48:40
  Speaker 3: I sort of thought, geez, actually, that is something I'm
• 48:42
  Speaker 3: really struggling with at the moment.
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: Do I want to know? Do I want to know? Yes,
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: I want to know, Yes, I should know. Do I
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: want to know? That's terrifying me.
• 48:51
  Speaker 3: Anyway, I had the conversation the consult with the through Monash,
• 48:57
  Speaker 3: through the Monash Hospital, and she said, it it's not
• 49:00
  Speaker 3: all cancers, it's bow cancers, and we determine what you're
• 49:03
  Speaker 3: at risk of to kind of help me know how
• 49:05
  Speaker 3: frequently I need to have my klonoscopies for the rest
• 49:08
  Speaker 3: of my life.
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: And I said yes to that.
• 49:10
  Speaker 3: I yes, I definitely want to know. It's you know,
• 49:14
  Speaker 3: I don't know what the news is going to be,
• 49:16
  Speaker 3: but I can't change the outcome. I cannot control what
• 49:19
  Speaker 3: my genetics are, but learning about them can help me
• 49:21
  Speaker 3: control other things. And it's good for my kids to know,
• 49:24
  Speaker 3: et cetera, et cetera. And so I wanted to share
• 49:27
  Speaker 3: with you. I wanted to share that with you because
• 49:30
  Speaker 3: because I want people listening to know that you know,
• 49:36
  Speaker 3: this idea that our coming back to mortality, coming back
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: to you know, like what happened with Annie Jenny, you
• 49:44
  Speaker 3: know obviously, and I know Ray's not well. You've got
• 49:47
  Speaker 3: somebody very specially in your life, and I know you
• 49:49
  Speaker 3: know your dad's had a heart attack, you know, sort of.
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: In the in the recent past.
• 49:54
  Speaker 3: And you know our aging parents that you know, they're
• 49:58
  Speaker 3: giving us lots lots of sleepless nights and things.
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: And the reason I want to share this with you
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: is because.
• 50:06
  Speaker 3: Having these tests, having these screenings, you know, for our
• 50:10
  Speaker 3: skin and I know I've spoken about this before, but.
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: For our our bowhoalth.
• 50:15
  Speaker 3: You know, the fifty year olds get you get it
• 50:18
  Speaker 3: literally on your birthday note to say we're sending you
• 50:19
  Speaker 3: a bow screening test. I know of someone who had
• 50:22
  Speaker 3: that sitting around for eighteen months and now has stage
• 50:24
  Speaker 3: four bow cancer and could have done something about it.
• 50:28
  Speaker 3: And I guess this is kind of another public service
• 50:32
  Speaker 3: announcement for you know, get your boobs checked, ladies, get
• 50:35
  Speaker 3: your bows checked, if you you know, get your colonoscopies,
• 50:40
  Speaker 3: get your skin checks. It's frightening, it's anxiety provoking. Yes,
• 50:44
  Speaker 3: they might find something. What if they find something. If
• 50:47
  Speaker 3: they find something, you can do something about it. Bow
• 50:51
  Speaker 3: cancer doesn't occur overnight. It takes years for polyps to
• 50:54
  Speaker 3: turn into bow cancer. If you find if they find polyps,
• 50:57
  Speaker 3: they can take them out. Not knowing is not going
• 51:01
  Speaker 3: to change the situation. And you know, I'm in a
• 51:04
  Speaker 3: good position. I've had my next one just a week ago,
• 51:08
  Speaker 3: and the gastorin Trilogier said, don't need to see you
• 51:11
  Speaker 3: for a year, and I'm.
• 51:12
  Speaker 2: Like, yes, that is awesome. But I'm in a more
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: empowered position.
• 51:16
  Speaker 3: And so it wasn't that I thought of this last
• 51:19
  Speaker 3: time and didn't have the courage to say. And I'm
• 51:22
  Speaker 3: not embarrassed at all about it. It's just a part
• 51:24
  Speaker 3: of my lot and at least me going through this
• 51:28
  Speaker 3: and sharing about it, which I like to be really authentic,
• 51:33
  Speaker 3: can hopefully make a difference for other people. Because you
• 51:36
  Speaker 3: know something's going to catch up with this inevitably. Why
• 51:40
  Speaker 3: don't we see what we can catch early and do
• 51:41
  Speaker 3: something about so that we give ourselves more time, more
• 51:44
  Speaker 3: and more health over the years to come. So, yeah,
• 51:47
  Speaker 3: I wanted to answer that question for you this time
• 51:51
  Speaker 3: because I couldn't answer it in a really important way
• 51:54
  Speaker 3: last time.
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: Well good answer and good answer, but great community service
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: now as well, and it's it's true. It's it's we
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: do have a real tendency to be reactive, not proactive.
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: And the thing is, you know, as the doc said,
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: it's it's when we catch something in its infancy, the
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: chances of surviving and thriving are exponentially greater, you know.
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: And it's like, yeah, it's if you've got something, you've
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: got it, not knowing about it does not help.
• 52:31
  Speaker 4: It's like not knowing won't make it go away. Yeah,
• 52:36
  Speaker 4: So even though you don't want anything, and there's let's
• 52:39
  Speaker 4: hope that all of you listening, there's there's nothing that
• 52:43
  Speaker 4: comes up bad when you go to get whatever done,
• 52:45
  Speaker 4: and it probably will be good for most, if not all,
• 52:48
  Speaker 4: of you.
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: But on the off chance I'm with you, I get.
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: I mean, I think I've probably know I had about
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: six things cut off my skin recently. I've had over
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: thirty skin cancers, basil cell carcinomas, squamous sells, a whole
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: lot of different things. I had fourteen stitches in my
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: forehead or eleven or twelve like recently. You know, It's like,
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: but if I don't go and get tested and I
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: don't get that shit cutout, that's that's gonna kill me
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: and so better. It's like scars are cool and the
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: moment if you're a sixty year old dude, maybe, but
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: we're going to go tell people how to connect, tell
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: people how to find you and connect.
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: Oh, Doctor Jody Richardson dot com, dot a you online,
• 53:35
  Speaker 3: Dr jod I Richardson, Yeah, thank you, Craig. Honestly like, yeah, sorry.
• 53:40
  Speaker 3: On my website you'll find my podcast and my speaking offerings.
• 53:44
  Speaker 3: I've got more coming. I'm really excited about some new
• 53:47
  Speaker 3: kind of presentations I've got for next year, which I
• 53:50
  Speaker 3: won't reveal now.
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I am.
• 53:54
  Speaker 3: Just loving where things are at with my ability to
• 53:58
  Speaker 3: support people and make a difference for them. And I'm
• 54:00
  Speaker 3: getting so many lovely testimonials. So I created a testimonial's page, Craig,
• 54:04
  Speaker 3: because I thought it'd been nice to share with lovely
• 54:06
  Speaker 3: things people are saying. So but yeah, Instagram follow me
• 54:10
  Speaker 3: on Instagram if you want to sort of connect as well,
• 54:13
  Speaker 3: and DM me if you go for a go for
• 54:15
  Speaker 3: a scan because of this conversation, let me know because yeah,
• 54:19
  Speaker 3: it's I think, yeah, and talk to your family about
• 54:21
  Speaker 3: that as well.
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: Just encourage the people in your.
• 54:23
  Speaker 3: Life to do the things that are uncomfortable but might
• 54:27
  Speaker 3: make a difference.
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: So yeah, Craig, it's just such a joy to talk
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: to you.
• 54:31
  Speaker 3: I always look forward to and I'm always sorry when
• 54:32
  Speaker 3: these episodes come to an end. The first episode, the
• 54:35
  Speaker 3: first recording, I was delighted when it came to an end,
• 54:38
  Speaker 3: but now I feel different.
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: Well, we love you, hey, and heads up, listeners, I've
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: got two things I want to tell you. The first
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: thing is, and I haven't shared this anywhere, but I'm
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: going to. This is a newsflash here. So next year,
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: I've got about six to eight people that I love,
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: that are brilliant, that have got great talent and always
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: always brings something amazing to the show. And doctor Jody
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: is one of those. And doctor Jody is going to
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: be a regular next year along with about we're probably
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: all going to have maybe ten regulars, of which Jody
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: is on that team. Super gracious and kind and so
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: you're going to hear a fair bit of her, and
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: we're going to we're consciously going to every time next
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: year pick a topic. None of them are going to
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: be We're not going to do one topic the same.
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: So however many we do, how many are we doing
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: next year. Did I can't remember, Oh, I haven't looked.
• 55:30
  Speaker 3: I haven't looked at your calendar and booked any in yet.
• 55:32
  Speaker 3: But you just tell me the number and I'll lock
• 55:34
  Speaker 3: them in the schedule.
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: Kiddy up. But we're going to explore a diverse range
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: of topics and ideas and subject Now, the other thing
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: I want to tell you everyone and doctor Jody is
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: on February three, I'm launching my next mentoring program. So
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: last mentoring program finished about a month ago. We sold out,
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: plus we oversold. I ended up taking more people than
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: I intended, and we've had lots of inquiries and so
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: the next one, if you want to go have look
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: what it's about. I've actually which is very unme. I've
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: created a ten week syllabus for the course because I'm
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: normally just show up, but there's actually a ten week program.
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: So you can go to my website, just going to
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: Craig hrpa dot net, go into education. You can read
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: about the program. You can read about each week what
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: it's about, and you may or may not want to
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: book in, but there it is. Jode, you might want
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: to book in. You've got a lot of issues. I
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: could probably give you a discount.
• 56:25
  Speaker 2: Well see thanks, appreciate it, Thank you, see you next time.
• 56:29
  Speaker 2: Thanks so Ya.