Latest / Harder Than Life / The Manipulation Pattern That Keeps You Stuck | Rebecca Zung on Emotional Healing

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The Manipulation Pattern That Keeps You Stuck | Rebecca Zung on Emotional Healing · Harder Than Life

• 0:01
  Now at Lowe's, faster quotes start at the Lowe's Pro Desk. Got a material list handwritten on a sticky note or saved us a photo? Perfect. Bring it to us and get a quote in minutes. And if you don't see what you need on the shelf, we'll help you get it. You can access thousands of products beyond what's available in-store or on lowes.com right from the Lowe's Pro Desk. Build quotes faster and source the materials you need to keep your jobs moving. Just like that at Lowe's.
• 0:30
  People will change when they get tired of wallowing around in their own bullshit. If you let trauma do your talking or your leading or your choosing, it always leads you to a bad neighborhood. Your triggers are your responsibility.
• 0:44
  If you keep attracting narcissists, you still need to look at yourself because your boundaries and your standards are not where they need to be. There's no like narc vaccine that you can get. It's how do you handle it? Just observe their behavior and don't absorb it. Never jade, never justify, argue, defend, or explain. You are giving away your power. People will think you are better if your rate is higher
• 1:11
  not the reverse. Raise your rate. Having emotional control is the most important skill you can have in life, period, and hard stop, end of story. How about just being kind? Kindness is leverage too, though. When you can realize that being authentically you is actually more powerful, that's when you get the peace. You don't chase after peace, you create it with every decision that you make.
• 1:38
  My guest today, Rebecca Zung, 25-year trial attorney, top 1% in America, USA Today and Wall Street Journal bestseller, 70 million YouTube views, and the creator of Slay AI, the first patented AI platform built to close the justice gap. This is Harder New Life. Let's get into it.
• 2:03
  Rebecca, welcome. It's so good to see you, my friend. I literally just looked this morning, you were episode 57, and now this is somewhere in the 250s, 260s. So 200 episodes later, you're back in your stomping grounds.
• 2:16
  Thank you for having me back again. I'm so honored to be a repeat guest. Yeah, there hasn't been many. And we've gotten to know each other over that time. And you're a remarkable human being. So we're going to get into some things that you're doing to help people. Right back at you, my friend. Right back at you. So generous and kind always and thoughtful, supportive.
• 2:34
  You said that at Craig's wedding in front of my then girlfriend, and it was like, I didn't know how to receive it. So I just received that fully, and I thank you for that. I didn't remember saying it before. You said it right in front of Catherine. So it's obviously authentic that I feel that way. You said it right in front of Catherine, and Catherine looked and went over to John, and then John was just here and spent the night, and we were promoting his book. So it's a small world. Oh, they're good friends of mine, as you know. They're beautiful. Yeah.
• 2:59
  You went from a college dropout and divorced single mom to one of the top trial attorneys in America and now a patented AI founder. What was the exact moment you decided you were done being the victim in your own story?
• 3:13
  That's an interesting question. No one's ever asked me that question before. I remember, so I got married very young and I had these three children and I was teaching inner city school right here in Broward County in Fort Lauderdale. And I was with one of the other teachers on the playground. They were at recess, the students.
• 3:33
  And we were talking about one of the teachers that had gotten a promotion and was going to be working at the downtown office of Broward County Education. She said to me, he got out, but not us. We're going to be stuck here forever. I remember thinking right then.
• 3:55
  maybe you will but i'm not and right then and there i think is when i started to think about taking the lsat and um at the time university of miami had a night program which i don't even think they have anymore but i applied you're a hustler man i love that i i it's literally why we connect and
• 4:19
  You know, somebody said to me recently, hey, I want to I'd rather be the villain than the victim. And and a lot of times we say the villain in a real, you know, in an enduring way. And I would say it's good to see you being the enduring villain. Well, you know what Bruce Lee said? He said it's better to be a warrior in the garden instead of a gardener in the war. We talked a lot about narcissism and I think it's an overused term. So we're going to dig into the app.
• 4:49
  what it means to be empowerment. I think it literally is. At that time, I was going through a terrible narcissistic breakup. Now, I'm going through just a normal breakup. I think it's funny how you heal. Beautiful woman, you better. Just, I need a little space while I'm continuing my healing journey. And it's done the right way. We lovingly, kindly, and that's the way it's supposed to. When two healed people reach a point,
• 5:18
  Things don't work. But I want to talk about the criminal injustice. Well, you know, I'm going to say about that is if you let trauma do your talking or you're leading or you're choosing, it always leads you to a bad neighborhood. You know, it's. Well, here we go. Diverse off of our path. Yeah.
• 5:36
  Part of it is I chose me for the first time. And it was the weirdest. See, that's the authentic thing, not trauma. It was the weirdest. Not being the pleaser. Rebecca, it was the weirdest thing I've ever felt. Because I just, okay, let's just keep the peace. Let's just go. Everything's fine. And I just kept saying what my needs were. And they...
• 5:56
  we couldn't come eye to eye and it was like, okay, this is where the two traumas were hitting each other. And instead of doing damage, we decided to take, take time apart. And we'll see how it works. And I believe I continue to work on me and good things happen. And, you know, like I said, I'm here 200 episodes later, podcast is growing. We're now in Lauderdale. We're in person. We're in person. So much better than just being on zoom. So much better.
• 6:23
  If anybody ever gets a chance to meet you, you're as advertised. I love your energy. You're so kind. So we're gushing, and I just think you're one of the smartest people. And let's talk about the criminal injustice system or criminal justice system. You say a country where justice costs $7,500, and the average person has $2,500 in savings, and it's not a justice system. It's a toll booth.
• 6:48
  What does that actually mean for a woman trying to leave a marriage or an employee being pushed out of a job?
• 6:54
  Yeah. I mean, it's always the person who feels like they have less leverage, which is why I talk about the leverage. So it could be a woman. It could be a man. You know, just somebody feels like they have less leverage because they don't have the income or maybe they don't have the power, they don't have the connections, they don't have the influence. I mean, there's a lot of different reasons for it. But what I call the justice gap, really, is...
• 7:20
  is the fact that hiring an attorney is a luxury for somebody who has money. And what I meant by that is the average person in this country has $2,500 in savings. The average salary for most people is $50,000 a year. An attorney bills anywhere between $350 and $750 an hour, minimum, some of them are even a lot higher than that. And a minimum retainer,
• 7:50
  is five to 7,500. I mean, it's, it's, that's very basic minimum for a retainer. Who has the money for that? I mean, most people don't. And so they're, what's happening is they are being pushed out of these jobs. Veterans aren't getting the right, the benefits that they're supposed to get. Women, men, people are losing custody of their children because they don't have the money to have a good attorney. Right.
• 8:15
  But it's not just that. It's also being uninformed about how to help your lawyer so that you're not getting billed so much. So that's why I built the AI that I built. Because the gap there is your lawyer knows the law, but they don't know your life.
• 8:37
  And so the minute you are being fraudulently accused or smeared in some way because it's, you know, they're using the justice system as a sword or they're going to all the people in your network or whatever it is that they're doing.
• 8:53
  the first thing the lawyer's gonna do is look at you and say, is it true? How should I respond? And I'll tell you what lawyers don't want. They don't want your 35,000 screenshots and your five years of text messages and every single email that you've ever written in scattered form. And they don't want to talk to your 50 witnesses. Oh, I can tell you that my brother-in-law this and my neighbor that and all this.
• 9:19
  They don't have time for all that. I mean, they don't. But when they have to, they bill for all of that. And so if they're going through your piles and piles of stuff to try to create the patterns, find, because the patterns are the power.
• 9:35
  You know what patterns are the power patterns are the power Because what happens is you go? Oh, well, we had a contract between me and my business partner and it says we're supposed to act in good faith and here's you know 12 times that they didn't because they went and talked to this person or they did this deal behind my back or they move money out of the account or they spent money when they shouldn't have out of the account and
• 10:00
  Now you have a pattern, patterns of violations. Here's the contract. Here's the patterns. And the AI that I built actually takes all of that documentation on an attorney-client privilege platform. And it has incident trackers. So you just had that interaction in the parking lot. You want to be able to document it somewhere.
• 10:22
  You take that out, you just put date, time, what happened, upload any proof, that's it. It instantly goes into the timeline. It's creating it for you in real time. Can you speak into it for a voice platform where you just say, this is what, oh, this is so good. Yeah, it instantly creates a timeline in real time.
• 10:40
  And then there's an area in there called Document Depot. And you can upload all your documentation, photos, screenshots, contracts, bank statements, whatever it is. And then when you hit the generate leverage button, it instantly scans all of that scattered documentation and finds the patterns for you. What's the name of this platform? Slaypro.ai. Slaypro.ai. This is why I brought you here. Literally, my calls. Get in here. We got to talk about this. If I'm hiring an attorney, I would ask them if they had this.
• 11:09
  This should be something that people, because it's going to save you money. So people that save money and get better results and get better results. Because otherwise you're just, I always say, hope is not a strategy. You can't just give it all to them and hope they're going to find it. Hope it's all going to work out. I'm going to put my.
• 11:30
  Therapist hat on. We talked all about this in episode 57, but I'm going to remind people. If it's a personal relationship, any relationship...
• 11:40
  And you're seeing the patterns. Pay attention to the patterns. One time, yes, shame on you. Second time, shame on me. So those are the patterns that you need to heal. And you're going to keep attracting those. We talked all about this in episode 57. I'm not going to get deep in those. People follow me and they hear this all the time. But pay attention to that stuff. It's really good. What you're saying right now is gold. Absolute gold. And so you shouldn't gloss over it because it's actually the highlight of it.
• 12:07
  Because what happens is, especially if you're a pleaser, is that we just tend to, you know, well, maybe it wasn't that bad. Maybe they just had something going on at work. They were just stressed. They were having something at home. Their mom's sick, whatever it is. But they violated a boundary. They didn't do what they said they were going to do. They did something they said they weren't going to.
• 12:34
  It's just unhealed childhood trauma. Well, yeah, but what happens is you just let it go, let it go, let it go, and you don't realize how many times this has happened. And so one of the things that we're doing with the app now is building it for HR professionals, for example.
• 12:51
  Because. It's just expanding on another. Yes, exactly. Because they're trying to keep track of employees that may be difficult. Oh, they had that interaction with Susie last year. Oh, that's right. Oh, yeah. You know what? They keep being late. Oh, that's right. But you don't put it all together until you start looking at the pattern and you see it in black and white. Black.
• 13:12
  Black and white. That's what AI's do. So I'm a big AI from a technology standpoint. What I love about AI is the one thing that they knock it on is what its superpower is. It doesn't have the humanistic side, so it gives it to you in black and white. There's no opinions.
• 13:28
  It doesn't say, well, this was going on. It says, hey, you're not being yourself. You're not being authentic. And if you've, like we have, I've programmed mine meticulously. It calls me out. But this is what makes you so good at building this app. 25-year trial lawyer who built an AI platform. So be honest with us. Is AI going to replace lawyers or has something more interesting happened? I think we just touched on it. So go down on that a little more.
• 13:57
  I actually do a monthly live webinar for a big continuing legal education company. They have 300 lawyers and 300,000 lawyers in their database. They asked me to do a monthly live training for them on AI. And one of the things that I do...
• 14:16
  teach on meticulously is you kind of have to look at the AI almost as you would a really good junior associate attorney who, you know, they're pretty smart, but they're kind of wrong sometimes. So you just got to look at the output. First of all, you really also need to know what the input should be, which we train on. But the output is...
• 14:44
  you got to look at it because sometimes it hallucinates. Sometimes it, you know, you want it to be as accurate as possible, but you also need to have the human element to it. Like the lawyer has to be the final say. The lawyer has to be the one who does the arguing, the advocacy, the drafting of the legal documents. I mean, yes, it can help you get started, but you've got to have, it's sort of like a template. You know, in the old days we have templates in the law, right?
• 15:13
  But you would never just turn in a template for anything. It's like a basis to kind of start with.
• 15:19
  Let me help this along because the light just went on for me and I'm like, wow, this is coming from a tech background and really understanding that this is cool because what it is, it's a legal system. It doesn't sleep, doesn't have an opinion. Sure, it'll hallucinate once in a while, but it's gonna pay attention, it's gonna catch everything and it notices the patterns. So this means to someone making 50 grand a year
• 15:45
  Why this is the single biggest shift in their favor is it's going to be able to spot, like you said, the patterns of recognitions so much faster. So everything you give an attorney, there's no opinions. So if I had an open and shut case and I brought it to an attorney, an attorney is like, eh, this doesn't mean anything.
• 16:05
  You upload it to this app, it's going to say, yes, yes, yes, and here's where you go. Correct. And just think. It just cuts right to the chase. Right. And that's why this is going to... I see this leveling, the playing thing for everybody and actually...
• 16:24
  bringing down lawyer fees a little bit. But they can charge more. But they'll end up with more clients. I mean, this is what I always say, even when I was practicing and I was like out of my mind with too many clients, is there are only so many hours in a day that a lawyer can bill. I mean, that's it. They have to sleep. They need to be able to eat. They need to be able to, you know, work out, go to the gym. What about if they miss something, Rebecca? Rebecca?
• 16:45
  Well, that's human. We're going to miss something. I won't miss it. Well, and because this is designed to look for patterns of deception, manipulation, discrepancies, things like that. Oh, I didn't even realize you would catch that. Yes. I designed it that way. Oh, you're devious little devil. I love it. So here's the difference between a generic GPT or something like that.
• 17:09
  A bank statement, let's say it's between two business partners or whatever, that shows that there was a big transfer of funds right before a pleading was filed. Regular AI is probably not going to catch that as anything, whereas this will go, hey, there may be a fraudulent transfer here.
• 17:28
  We don't see any other transactions that look like that, plus the timing. It was right before the filing. So it makes you look at it. Now, that's something that a paralegal might miss. Even your attorney might miss. Well, yeah, and then it'll –
• 17:46
  Rebecca, what you've built is amazing, and I'm going to tell you what. Because my things are... It's going to notice other patterns. It could be seven other transactions that have happened that are very similar that had no rhyme or reason to them. It'll pull the rhyme or reason into it. This is a single most innovative thing I've heard in law. I'm an AI geek. We're writing AI agents for the normal, for normal people. Oh, I love that. I got a whole innovation team. I need one. I need several. Well, we should...
• 18:14
  I'll help you. You know. I was looking into trying to build one of my own. I was like, oh, this is really complicated. I'll build you whatever you want. I got one guy on staff that does it so fast. I'm like, do you even breathe when you make these? Oh, my God. We wouldn't be doing our dresses if we didn't get in to start talking about the humanistic side. But I've heard you say many times that.
• 18:33
  high conflict people aren't motivated by money, love, or logic, which is, quote, unquote, the narcissist. They're motivated by image. Let's unpack that. And why does that one insight change everything about how you negotiate? Here's the thing about the justice system. It is set up.
• 18:54
  Kind of on a faulty premise. You don't say. Yeah. The faulty premise is that everybody is reasonable. Oh. The problem with that is that a lot of people are not. And the majority of us, I'm going to put myself in there. I don't have to say that I don't have my other crap that I deal with, but I'm going to say for me.
• 19:17
  If I had to sit down in front of somebody that I had some kind of case with, I'd be like, I got other stuff I want to do. I want to create. I don't want this negativity in my life. How can we get this done? They bank on that. Right. That's why so many cases settle.
• 19:35
  Right. And so a lot of people are like that. I don't want to pay fees. I want to move on. I don't want this energy in my life. That's what most people, how they are motivated. They have other things. They want to focus on their kids, their children, their significant other, their businesses, whatever it is. The positive energy. The positive energy. Some people...
• 19:58
  are not like that. Some people get off on the supply that they're getting from it, so it's control. And once that limbic system is hacked and triggered,
• 20:13
  And now their prefrontal cortex is shut down because they think, oh, this person is trying to get me. So I got to get them before they I got to take them down before they take me down. I'm going to take all their money and I'm going to make their life miserable. And they don't look at how can I make this end? It's how can I continue this so that I can get them? And they will even self-sabotage.
• 20:38
  to try to take down the other person. They're not thinking about... I mean, I had a guy who, looking back, was a narcissist. I didn't know this at the time. The case lasted five years. He was my client. I'll tell you what, the lawyers don't even like these people. I'll tell you that right now. And you guys know, and we know. Because I was like, dude, you don't need to put my kid through college. Like, we got to get this thing done. But he looked me straight in the eye and he said, I'd rather pay you than her.
• 21:07
  Like he enjoyed, enjoyed it. Yeah, and if you wanna deep dive into that, go back to episode 57. We talk, her book Slay the Bully. It was, we deep dive into that like so much. I'm gonna skip, but this next question, we're gonna talk a little bit more about the narcissism. So if you're walking into a negotiation with a narcissist, whether it's a boss, a co-parent, or a business partner, what's the first move? And what's the move most people get wrong?
• 21:37
  Now at Lowe's, faster quotes start at the Lowe's Pro Desk. Got a material list handwritten on a sticky note or saved as a photo? Perfect. Bring it to us and get a quote in minutes. And if you don't see what you need on the shelf, we'll help you get it. You can access thousands of products beyond what's available in-store or on Lowe's.com right from the Lowe's Pro Desk. Build quotes faster and source the materials you need to keep your jobs moving. Just like that at Lowe's.
• 22:07
  Everything has to be informed by their image. And so what happens is I think a lot of people, the reasonable person goes, well, how can I just get this done? I'm just going to give them X, Y, and Z, and they're going to see how generous I am. And then that will garner some kind of favor for me, and then I can get this thing done. That's the worst thing you could possibly do.
• 22:28
  It reinforces their negative behavior. Continuously. And they just feel entitled to it. They don't look at it as some nice, generous gift. It was like, well, that was mine anyway, so whatever. And whatever it was, they're going to continuously gameplay, move the goalposts, like, while they're trying to negotiate or whatever. I mean, you're just, like, stuck in this hell of insanity. And you're like, how do I get this thing done? There's no end to it until you have enough leverage. Yeah.
• 22:56
  And by creating leverage, and this is where the AI really helps too, that is informed by their own behavior. I always say every time they violate the contract, just write it down. Say to yourself, thank you for the gift. And you write it down. Because…
• 23:12
  So smart. Because that, when you take the patterns, and I always say data, not drama, now you've got the data and you're like, oh, okay, here you go. These are all the times that you violated the contract or you didn't do what you said you were going to do or you moved money or how much money did you take? Okay.
• 23:32
  You know, I always say use percentages, graphs, heat maps, patterns. I'm sure the AI turns it into that. All of that. Yeah. So think about it this way. I've been in custody battle, unfortunately, and we had to. One of the things that actually was the censure was how many times my daughter was late to school on her mother's time.
• 23:51
  I had to go. I actually did it, went through and counted it myself where we could have just pulled it in. Automatically. Are you working on like APIs to connect it to bank accounts and stuff? Because that would be even easier. Well, what I would like to do is be able to connect it to like our family wizard or talking parents or something like that. That's like the next step. We haven't even gotten there yet, but that is the next step. Yeah.
• 24:13
  I always say, and I'm sure you've heard me say this, don't wrestle with a pig because you'll just get muddy and the pig will love it. That's the definition of a narcissist. And you can't, unfortunately, you've got to dance that fine line. You cannot give in, but you can't care. You have to bounce that fine line. Well, you have to create the leverage. So I always say you end up with option A and option B. Option A is the easy way. Option A is...
• 24:38
  Here's what I want, and here's why it's going to be good for both of us. It's the reasonable option. And then option B is the hammer's coming down on your head. It's the knife to your neck. It's I'm going to show the judge all the ways that you misbehave, or whoever it is, the HR manager or whatever, you know,
• 25:00
  the mediator, the lawyers, it doesn't matter. It's just, it's just facts. It's the data. You're right. You're framing the narrative. You're framing the narrative. What do you know about dealing with difficult people after 25 years in courtrooms that a therapist would never tell you? Especially if you're dealing with a difficult person, just remember that everything is informed by their ego and their image. So sometimes when you're negotiating with them or communicating with them, you have to,
• 25:29
  you know like be strategic about it um so that's one thing the other thing is and i just did my ted talk on this by the way and it's not out yet but it should be out soon yeah the paradox of respect oh so where's your ted talk at it was in culver city you know where that is in la yeah so the paradox of respect is this
• 25:55
  We have been trained and conditioned to believe that respect has to be earned through effort. That the more you do, the more you achieve, the more you, all of these things, then respect will come. But it's actually the opposite. It's decide who you are.
• 26:16
  Make it non-negotiable and then you will get that respect. That's how respect follows to you. People say that you disrespect me. They use that term like they use narcissists. Just because your little ego got hurt doesn't mean you were disrespected. It means sometimes it means that your ego was exposed.
• 26:36
  Well, see, when I hear that, I hear you're being triggered in some way. That's right. You said it better than me. Because, yeah, because I always say they...
• 26:50
  There's no like narc vaccine that you can get so that narcissists stay away from you. That's what you should have. Yes. There's no like narc off. You know, you spray it on yourself and the insects will stay away. It's not anything like that. So they're going to be around and in your space.
• 27:08
  It's how do you handle it? And so having boundaries, having, I always say, put like an invisible shield down around you and just observe their behavior and don't absorb it. Observe and absorb. And respond, don't react. So you just have a few short power phrases at the ready, like, oh, that's interesting. You know, like if somebody says, oh, you know what? You're a total loser. You just go, oh, I hear you.
• 27:38
  You know, like you're just observing the behavior. You're not, it's not penetrating on you because it's the same thing as if somebody said, you're a banana. You'd be like, okay, you're insane. No, whatever. It doesn't matter.
• 27:53
  I mean, okay, you can say whatever you want. I know I'm not that. But if you're feeling like, oh, I'm being disrespected, I always say never jade. Never justify, argue, defend, or explain. The minute you justify, argue, defend, or explain, and I always say I'm half Chinese and half German, so I always wear jade, so it kind of reminds me. The minute you're finding yourself justifying, arguing, defending, or explaining, you are...
• 28:21
  giving away your power because you're never going to convince them. It's not like they're going to go, you know what? You're right. I really see your side now. And I was totally wrong. You mean that won't happen? Oh my goodness. That's so good. I'm sitting here thinking about our last episode in the now and how I would have sat here those years ago and said, Oh, I have standards and I have boundaries. And,
• 28:46
  I want to challenge the listener right now. If you're watching this on YouTube, I'll challenge you. The HTL Nation, it says this. If you keep attracting narcissists, you still need to look at yourself, put it in the mirror and say, what do I got to heal in me? Because your boundaries and your standards are not where they need to be. And I would tell you mine weren't where they needed to be.
• 29:10
  what was that two years ago now or maybe two and a half years ago now and I've gone through some no no it's like three years ago now and I've gone through some trials and tribulations and I'm standing here now where my standards it is no means no and this is where I'm headed and this is what I'm gonna do and it's almost to like a it's a little too tough but it keeps me safe
• 29:33
  Raising your floor. I call it raising your floor. Because your goals are like something that you wish for, you go to attain or whatever, but your floor is who you are. And when your floor is shaky, people feel it. They negotiate with you, they test you, they discount you. But if your floor rises and remains firm, unshakable... Not a single person thinks their floor is low. That's what I was getting at. I would have told you three years ago, oh, no, no, no, no, my standards are where they are right now.
• 30:01
  They weren't. So if this keeps happening, I implore you guys, the listeners, to look at yourself. Probably stop dating. Stop doing the things you're doing. And just work on you for just a little bit. That stillness, silence, and solitude, go and look at you. This is God sending you a lesson that you haven't learned yet.
• 30:22
  You know, I'm going to say that having a low floor or a floor that's not high enough shows up in so many different ways. And I'll tell you a story. When I first started my law practice, I set my hourly rate low because I was so afraid I wasn't going to get clients. And I thought maybe that'll attract more clients. And this mentor friend of mine, who's a New York attorney, but, you know, lived down here in Florida.
• 30:48
  He stopped by my office unannounced one day, and he walked in, sits down, like he just inserts himself into my life, and he's awesome. And he says, I need to talk to you about your hourly rate. And I said, okay. And he said, it's too low. And he said, let me tell you something, people will think you are better if your rate is higher, not the reverse.
• 31:16
  And then he stood up and he looked at me and he just said three words, raise your rate. And he walked out. The next day, he called me. He had a conflict on a case that he couldn't take. And he said, I'm referring you a case. Here's all the facts about it. Turned out to be Arnold Schwarzenegger's goddaughter. And I ended up getting to travel with Arnold and all over the world and did all kinds of really cool things with it. But...
• 31:43
  He's giving me this case. And as we're hanging up, he goes, and they have money. So charge something decent for Christ's sake. And he hung up the phone. And that day I raised my rate and I never looked back. Well, that's your standard and that's your filter. People that you want to deal with.
• 32:02
  The people that are in a line with you will pay the money. So that's the best boundary and standards explanation I can ever hear. But you have this cool thing called the case method. And I want to get into that because it's...
• 32:15
  It's not just for lawyers. I was looking at it and looking at it. So walk us through the case method, capture, analyze, structure, execute. How does a regular person actually use that for something like a custody fight or a contract dispute? And I've thought of many other things because I think I use it every day. Every day. So capture is you're in the moment. You just found out that your daughter was late again to school. Oh, let me capture that.
• 32:44
  In the moment, let me not just go, I can't believe that happened again. You go, oh, thank you for the gift. You were late again. Okay? And you just, you capture it agnostically. Like I just say, it's just data. And then it becomes something.
• 33:01
  Okay, so capture, in the moment, whatever it is, screenshot. If somebody, you have a conversation with somebody, oh, just confirming, we just had this conversation, here's what we talked about, and here's what we agreed on, text, whatever it is, capture. Now you go to analyze.
• 33:17
  So you're analyzing, you know what, I think that there may be some patterns here. I think that they've been like every time she's with my ex or whatever it is. And you're like, okay, let me start analyzing where I might have more patterns. I think it's violations of the contract. I think it's times they lied, times there were –
• 33:39
  discrepancies between what they said they earned on the financial affidavit or in the deposition and what the bank statements say, you know, so like you start analyzing and then you start structuring it. Okay, so how can I structure this information? I call it more like framing narratives, like you're taking a snapshot of that information
• 34:04
  Because when you go to tell your story to whoever needs to hear your story, whether it's the boss or a client or anybody, they don't want to hear everything from A to Z because then it just becomes noise. Give me the most important points. Distill it down so that I feel persuaded that...
• 34:26
  And now you're structuring it. And then it's execute. Okay, where do I need to go? What's the plan? What's the strategy? What's my tactic on this? And you are able to make those decisions. You know, what's my risk? What's my return on my investment? Based on all of that.
• 34:44
  That's actually good for anything, if you think about it. While you were talking, I was thinking about the integrations that, and we'll take this offline and I'll help you with it, but I was just thinking you should integrate with email systems, so you don't even have to ask the people, hey, send me the emails. It just, because what happens is they're gonna send you the ones that they wanna send you. But this way, you could've just went through and pulled all of my ex-wife's interaction,
• 35:08
  And let it go right into the AI, filter it, and come right out. Yeah. That's easily done. Yeah. I don't know. I geek out when it comes to that. I know. I love that. I think that if there's an interaction where maybe I wasn't so great, they might not forward that one. And there could be one key line in there. And this way, you know that AI is going through it. It's doing it all the time. And it's not...
• 35:31
  a human realizing that I'm embarrassed because I called her a jerk or something. Right. Anyways, case method, capture, analyze, structure, execute. Brilliant as always. Let's talk about real life. You say that people who win in life aren't the smartest or the richest. They're the most prepared. What does prepared actually look like in a high stakes moment minute by minute? I mean, I would say the first step with that is
• 35:59
  what I call the SOS method, which is stop, observe, speak. So stop. The person who has the most control over their emotions is the person who has so much more leverage. Stop for two seconds. I've been talking about this about everywhere. The person that has the emotional...
• 36:19
  What do they say? Mental health? It's emotional health. It's everything in this world right now. If you can just listen more than you speak. I think we said in the last one, God gave you two eyes and one mouth for a reason, two ears for a reason. Use it in that proportion. That helps you in everything in life. So you heard that again. Say that again because it's so good. It's not just for legal. It's for everything in this world.
• 36:46
  Having emotional control is the most important skill you can have in life, period. And hard stop, end of story. That's it. Period. And I'm going to just – I touched on it a little bit earlier, but I'm going to just expound upon it just slightly –
• 37:02
  We all have triggers, all of us. Yep. That's part of life. Even Steven over here, even though he's... He's very hard to trigger. But everybody's got triggers. Everybody's got that thing that like, oh, I can't believe they just spoke to me like that or whatever it is, a waste of my time. Like for me, it's time wasting my time. Like if I'm on hold with a...
• 37:23
  customer service rep and they routed me to the fourth one and I gotta tell my story again and I'm on there for 45 minutes, I'm starting to get like really pissed. Like that's definitely- You know. Well that's my trigger, right? Like wasting of time and things like that. But that's on me. Your triggers are your responsibility. What happens though is when you're triggered, you are giving your power away. You're instantly saying, here's my power to whoever it is you're with in the moment.
• 37:54
  And our limbic brain kicks in. And that's just, it's actually part of our animalistic tendency is it's that fight, flight, or freeze. It's like, okay, your body, the adrenaline, everything, I got to fight that bear. I got to shut down the prefrontal cortex, which is the most developed part of the brain. It's the reason, it's judgment, it's thinking.
• 38:17
  That goes offline because all your blood and all of your muscles and all of everything has to go into, I have to survive. The problem with that is you don't make good decisions from that place. And you're actually not even choosing. A lot of times it's the subconscious. That's the react and not the respond. It's the react and not the respond. And so you're in your subconscious now.
• 38:43
  and your subconscious is now making decisions from the four-year-old traumatized person. You don't want me to make those kind of decisions. We'll be fighting it here. Exactly, right, exactly. And so now you're being led down this path
• 38:59
  And it's not where you want to be. And then you wake up and you go, you know, I shouldn't have said that thing or, you know, or or you. I mean, narcissistic people, they don't take accountability. It's everybody else's fault. Yeah. And and so S.O.S. is stop, observe, speak. So stop, take a breath.
• 39:17
  pause even if it's for a few seconds if you take a pause for eight seconds it actually shifts the power dynamic because the other side is like oh why aren't they responding I didn't get them triggered you know so eight seconds and according to Columbia University shifts the power dynamic it also gets your prefrontal cortex back online it gives you moment observe don't absorb and
• 39:43
  and then speak, but you speak from a place of power. You speak from a place of boundaries. I always give the example of Glinda the Good Witch from the Wizard of Oz, when everybody, the original Wizard of Oz, when everybody is there and the Wicked Witch shows up and she's loud and threatening and scary and everybody's like, oh my God, oh my God, everybody except one person, Glinda. Glinda didn't even flinch.
• 40:12
  She was like, no way, you have no power here. Be gone. And guess what? The Wicked Witch did. That's true power. That's authentic power. And authentic power orients the room. Your energy shifts. People feel it. And then you actually, your energy persuades that room then. I call this the sacred pause. And I keep screaming it because I struggle with it. And if you think about it, I'll just wait for two seconds. It's so good.
• 40:48
  That's eight seconds. That was just like that. Just like that. And you talk about you frame. But did you feel the energy shift there?
• 40:57
  I, it's something I'm working on so hard. I get so excited. Um, it's just, I love to help people. Oh, well, there's nothing wrong with that. I know I still, it should be, I think it's one of the coolest things when you, when you let, when somebody lets you finish and, and even if you interrupt them, then they let you finish when you interrupted them. That's a power dynamic that I'm working on. And it's not even about power. It's just about being happy.
• 41:28
  being authentic. So you can talk about leverage. You're the leverage lawyer. Of course, that's what you're going to do. But how about just being kind? It's just kind. And, and you'll be happy when you're kind. You'll be happy. Kindness is leverage too, though. Yeah, I know. That's what I, it's the next question is, is leverage a skill anyone can learn? And it's what we're teaching in the heart of the life nation just over and over. And it's just emotional intelligence. And,
• 41:54
  if we had it, and what are we, we're bombarded with the algorithm and you triggered, and it's almost like the world has gone the opposite way, and it keeps hitting us with this. And it takes that discernment,
• 42:10
  and true emotional fitness and mentality to say, I just don't want to do this anymore. I want to be happy. What is it? Do you want to be right? Do you want to be rich? Do you want to be happy? Do you want to be right? I want to be happy. I don't care about being right. I mean, you can be happy and rich. They're not mutually exclusive. Yeah.
• 42:30
  Let's talk about the SOS and the sacred pause. And you talk about it being leveraged. They don't teach it in school. It's emotionally intelligent and they need to. What does it cost a person over a lifetime not to have it? And how can they practice this? Because you see it in the courtrooms all the time. You're asking such good questions. There's a great quote by Elizabeth Gilbert who wrote Eat, Pray, and Love.
• 42:57
  And it said something like... So many good ones in that book. Yeah. It's something like people will change when they get tired of wallowing around in their own bullshit. So what I take that to mean is there is a cost to a lot of things that we think are helping us.
• 43:18
  We think it helps us to be a control freak or a perfectionist or all of these things because they did to a certain extent. They got us so far. And I'm kind of speaking autobiographically here with some of this stuff. We all. I'm about to, you just triggered me. I'm like, oh, identity, loss of identity. Yeah. But it also holds us away from love and true connection and authentic connection. Absolutely.
• 43:48
  Being authentically you is actually more powerful. That's when you get the peace. You don't chase after peace. You create it with every decision that you make.
• 44:01
  So what you're saying right now, Rebecca, I'm going through right now. My identity has always been survive and thrive. And I just learned I have a ton of shame, fear, everything I buried. So the identity that I built was on the opposite of that. I'm never scared. I do everything right. I treat people good. Until I really got curious and dug very deep and showed awareness on that.
• 44:28
  I would have fought you that I didn't have any of that. So it became a, that was my identity. I'm in a, now I'm ripping it all down. And everybody says I'm crazy because I'm from the outside in, I look like I'm winning. I look like everything's got it together and I do.
• 44:43
  But I haven't ever, and I'm going to say this for the first time on this show, I haven't ever, so just now you just triggered me on this. I don't know who my authentic self is, but I'm finding him and I'm allowing him to come back. And it's really what you were born as. It is. Before we got all these films. All that crap piled on. And I am digging so hard on myself right now.
• 45:06
  with IFS therapy and my coach teamed up together. I have some great recommendations for you for programs too. Oh, I'm all for it. I mean, MIT team, Mastering Transformational Training, changed my life. Changed my life. Yeah, it's the one that Lewis Howes has done and a whole bunch of others. Jay-Z and Beyonce both did it. I mean, it's literally, it's only three days and then five days. Really? Full days. Look at how things that happened for you were.
• 45:35
  Oh my God. Like I. Okay. So we'll take that offline. But I will. The moral of the story is I want people to understand that. That's why this. I would. I was flying down here yesterday. And I was literally questioning my sanity. Like why did I choose to go through this?
• 45:52
  But my identity, your identity and that ego, it's fighting so hard to keep because it doesn't want to die off. And to become your true, authentic, who yourself. A lot of times when you say. But I think you do know who he is. Yeah, I'm seeing you. So I'm going to, can I challenge you for a moment? Absolutely.
• 46:10
  You know who your authentic self is because you feel it in that moment. Yes. In that moment, you can tell if you are in a connection with somebody that feels authentic. You can tell if you are doing work.
• 46:25
  that lights you up, that makes you feel creative, that makes you feel alive, if you are in a relationship that's not serving you because you feel like you can't speak up, you feel like your needs aren't being met or whatever, then that's not your authentic self. Your authentic self is easy to serve. It's not hard.
• 46:48
  I just thought of something. It literally is. You don't have to explain it. No. You don't. You just. You just know. You just. You got to listen to your soul and your gut. It's right there. Where I said that you just have to be people is this. If you have to explain, that's just how I am. Or I'm a people pleaser. Or I'm an anxious avoidant.
• 47:11
  That's not who you really are. No, none of those things. If you have to label it, that has been a crotch. And let me tell you, your authentic self is so much more powerful than any of these control IFS things. And let me tell you, my control part is...
• 47:28
  I don't know if I can say this on the show, but I did one of those like psilocybin journeys, you know. So am I allowed to say that? Yeah, I've done it. I've shared it. I just did an episode on my psychedelic journeys. OK, so I did I did MDMA, psilocybin and ketamine. Sounds like a party. Yeah.
• 47:49
  Oh, my God. But I had what they call a shadow journey because my IFS, like, this is so funny. So you've done it. Here we go. I've never told this story. Come on in our new life and you tell your thoughts. Yeah. So here we go. This is confession time. MDMA hits. I feel it come up the back of my head and I'm like, oh.
• 48:06
  Oh, I've made a huge mistake. This is no. This is a no. And she's like, she was so wonderful. There's a therapist who was absolutely amazing. Yeah, this is in a guided situation. Guided. This is when you're sitting at home. No, I wasn't sitting at home, you know, watching Breaking Bad or anything. It was, you know, so I guided. Was this in LA or? LA, yeah. And she was amazing. Absolutely amazing. The perfect person for me. Like trained and.
• 48:36
  IFS and all these things, right? So it hits, and then she's like, and then I drink the tea for the psilocybin, and I'm like, oh, this is just awful, awful. And she says, well, you know, the controller part of Rebecca...
• 48:55
  She has done such a great job. She has worked so hard. And she has really helped you in so many ways. But I think she's tired. Like maybe just for today, the control part of Rebecca could go to the beach.
• 49:15
  Just let her have the day off. She's earned it. She's really done so much for you. Just let her go to the beach today and have the day off and relax. And I'm listening back to the recording later, and I hear myself go, okay. And a couple minutes later, I went, no, no. Control, Rebecca is staying here. Okay.
• 49:44
  He ain't going anywhere. Right here. It was, I fought it.
• 49:51
  Yeah, that's in the IFS therapy, that's the part. That's probably your manager. Yeah. One of the managers. Yeah. And you have to ask them to just stand down for a minute. Which I've been so much better about. That was a couple years ago. I actually have a COO in my business and a director of sales and all kinds of people who are helping me now. And we have almost 30 people on my team now. Wow. Yeah, so...
• 50:18
  Yeah. The one I'm learning is that what we're talking about right here, people is the temperature setting of our life. You will never exceed that temperature setting, but how you can move that temperature setting up is by doing this work. You've heard Rebecca speak about this. I'm in the middle of it. It's,
• 50:38
  It's a question. It's the worst thing I've ever done, but you can just feel the best. Yeah. You get the glimpses. I like it to the gym. You go to the gym. Nobody wants to go to the gym, but you go there. Except you, apparently. Yeah. And you rip your muscles, you get bigger. And then when you leave, you look at yourself and you have that swoleness and you feel good.
• 50:59
  And that's what this is. And there's glimpses where I'm like, I feel so, it should be a crime to feel this good. And I can, I see those glimpses of my true authentic self. And you'll know when I hit my true authentic self, because our podcast will blow up. The business is going to, and it's really, it feels weird to say that because it's not like we're struggling.
• 51:21
  Everything's growing, but that's when you take the hockey stick. As soon as you start taking the focus onto others and away from yourself, as far as Wayne Dyer, this is one thing I learned from him, is that every time he steps on stage, or stepped on stage before he passed, or did a show or anything like this, he would say, how can I serve? How can I serve?
• 51:49
  Take it away from you. It's being used as a conduit from the universe as your authentic self. We are meant to serve. You started this field with that. That's why I give so much. That's what this all is for. I don't have a coaching program.
• 52:06
  I'm not trying to, I'm just trying to pay my mistakes forward. You know, you don't have to make these mistakes to learn them. You can watch it on TV and watch people do it. We say we don't learn it. So learn from my mistakes. Go do this healing. We've got a massive following of young people, 25 to 35. What is it?
• 52:26
  18 to 25 year olds do work on yourself do it now because it'll be you know here we are like a little bit older like you never age you still look beautiful thank you but i think you're aging reversed by the way no but my point is like if i had done it at 20 you know how different would my life have been but you know what everything happens the way it's supposed to it's a good
• 52:48
  It's a common thing we say, but it's true. My coach now is one of my best friends. And we were working together two years ago. And he told me the same thing today that he told me two years ago.
• 52:59
  And he's like, you know, I didn't push you because you weren't ready. He goes, today, you're wide open. So I just, what does it say? When the teacher is ready, or when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. Yeah. And here we go. Let's beat a dead horse on this, on the emotion. So what's the most expensive mistake you've watched a successful, high-earning man make in a high-conflict divorce, which is going to be emotional? I'll tell you about something that was...
• 53:28
  I call it the two million dollar apology. So this is a mistake, but it was almost a mistake. So and it's the first one that comes to mind when you ask me this question. These are such good questions. So I was representing a guy who was one of the top developers in Florida. And
• 53:49
  Even when he first came in to hire me, he acted like he was doing me such a favor by, you know, the fact that he was picking me to be his lawyer. And I was so not impressed because I had multi-billionaires. I mean, whatever. It didn't matter. Like I said, there's only so many hours in a day. At the end of the first meeting, he said, is there any room in your retainer or your hourly rate? And I said, no, but I'm happy to give you cheaper people if that's what you'd like.
• 54:19
  and he's like no no we'll go okay all right so fast forward to mediation it's 12 hours starting at 9 a.m 9 p.m i'm tired hungry ready to be done i'm at the other attorney's office which always means you're in the small conference room i'm stuck 12 hours with this dude and
• 54:40
  and I'm waiting for the agreement to come back because we had agreed to all the terms, and so they're drafting it, and I'm just waiting for it. Mediator knocks on the door and says, hey, Rebecca, can you come out here? I have something I want to talk to you about. So he pulls me out into the reception area. It's dark, and he says, she has a very unusual request.
• 55:03
  And I said, okay. And he said, she's willing to waive alimony. Now, she was going to get $2 million in a lump sum of alimony. She's getting millions in other assets, too. It wasn't like she was going to be left destitute. But she was willing to waive alimony if he, the narcissist, would be willing to go over to her conference room, sit there, just the two of them, sincerely apologize for how he treated her during the marriage.
• 55:34
  I was like, what's the catch? He said, no catch.
• 55:39
  Now at Lowe's, faster quotes start at the Lowe's Pro Desk. Got a material list handwritten on a sticky note or saved us a photo? Perfect. Bring it to us and get a quote in minutes. And if you don't see what you need on the shelf, we'll help you get it. You can access thousands of products beyond what's available in-store or on Lowe's.com, right from the Lowe's Pro Desk. Build quotes faster and source the materials you need to keep your jobs moving. Just like that at Lowe's. She couldn't do it, could she?
• 56:09
  I go back into the room. I say, okay, this is what she wants. He said, I'm not going to do it. I said, yes, you are. And he's like, no, I'm not.
• 56:21
  Get out of town. No. And I said, you know what? I'm going to kick your ass. You're going over there. Because now I'm starting to think he's going to come back at me and go, how come you didn't make me? And now you cost me $2 million and all of this stuff. So I'm like thinking I'm going to have to write this guy a CYA letter, what we call a cover your ass letter. And I'm like...
• 56:43
  get your ass over there and do it what the hell and so he does it I make him he walks over there he's like six five he's like you know tail between his legs does it she waves alimony she actually did it so afterwards we're standing in the parking lot and he's thanking me of course now he's happy and he says by the way
• 57:09
  I want to tell you, I'm glad that you didn't negotiate your retainer at the beginning because had you done that, I would have thought that you were going to be weak negotiating on my behalf throughout this. And I didn't do it for that reason, of course. But that's an example of a guy who was so steeped in ego that he almost cost himself. Yeah. You ever keep in touch with that guy? No. I always wonder what happens after the fact. I'd like to see after the fame of...
• 57:39
  Did they heal? Did they continue? Did they do the same thing? I have kept in touch with several of my clients, but not that one. It reminds me of how I grew up. And my next question will be about that. A lot of listeners grew up in homes where love was conditional or non-existent. It made me think of that from that hymn. He just needed love. How does that wiring show up and how they negotiate as adults? And what do they have to unlearn? What did he, you just said it.
• 58:07
  He had to realize that putting his ego aside, he was actually going to be further ahead. But, you know, I think in a lot of ways he was looking at it as an opportunity to continue to control her because it was going to be paid out over time over the next couple of years. I think that he just didn't want to admit he was wrong. I mean, you talk about shame. Yeah.
• 58:34
  I just think that behind all of that is a level of shame. So that's an example of somebody who is really kind of going to be engaging in self-sabotaging behavior to save what he perceived to be his image, which...
• 58:50
  In his life and in his world, if you think about how the world occurs for somebody like that, if I don't do this, then I don't survive. Talk about having the wrong identity. Yeah. So the last time when I had you on the show, I was just finishing up custody battle and all the drama that I went through. And I wish I could say that the two women that attacked me have healed. But...
• 59:15
  It's, it's, finally my ex-wife, and I can say this out loud, has finally stood down. My daughter has turned out to be a beautiful young woman. Aw. How old is she? 17 now. Nice. We are like this. Oh, I love it. But our conversation is always about her mom. Your mom's still married to a, or dating a divorced, a married man. Oh, no. I put this out on social media. It's terrible. But it's, people don't heal. And that's my biggest...
• 59:42
  sadness for this it's if they didn't learn their lesson you know what though you just have to send them light but over there what i saw over there love beans i'm sending you love beans yeah but that's okay you can do that but stay over there is that energy does i mean you know that there have been times where you've been thinking about somebody and all of a sudden they call you or whatever i mean that energy is is real
• 1:00:04
  And so you can send them love, but over there, you just don't want to have it in your space. No, not at all. So the name of the show is Harder Than Life. I talk a lot about me doing hard things. What is the hardest thing you've ever had to do personally, you've had to personally negotiate for, not professionally, personally? Mm-hmm.
• 1:00:23
  Well, this is something I don't really talk about that often. I don't talk about it at all on my own show, or at least I haven't, maybe I should, but a couple years ago, my husband and I almost got divorced because of unhealed trauma in a lot of different ways.
• 1:00:38
  And I actually said, told him I was leaving him. We went to this packed therapist, and I don't know what that stands for, but it's like a special kind of therapist for couples. That it's like every session is like three hours long, and they're like super long.
• 1:00:59
  trained in all these different modalities it was pretty crazy but we went there and he thought we were going to work on us and i said in the very first session i'm leaving you and i just really want to use her to help us with how we tell the kids and um i was done done done and we had
• 1:01:21
  Already moved everything out of our house. We were airbeaming it. He thought we were gonna go together to this condo And I'm like I'm moving to the condo and you're moving somewhere else and I had done it that way so that I didn't have to deal with moving out of the house with him knowing and Sneaky sneak. Well, just because he had anger issues massive anger issues and I
• 1:01:47
  I said, the only way that I will stay is if you do MITT, basic and advanced, and Hoffman for a week. And it's not negotiable. And he did. And we actually renewed our vows in October. And we are better than we've ever been, ever been, by a lot.
• 1:02:08
  um what did you do what did you change on you besides the boundaries i did mitdbc advance i did a hoffman like weekend thing i you know i did my own therapy he did his own therapy we did the pack therapy we ended up going back to that woman like several times we did so much work so it wasn't pointing to you both went and did work so much work on ourselves so much and and i'm happier than i've ever been too
• 1:02:32
  and so is he individually and then we are together as a couple as well but that was definitely the hardest thing ever i'm so happy for you guys i like happy endings that makes me i always like to cry at the end of these now i allow myself to cry all right a couple more questions we'll get out of here because we're getting up against it uh if someone is listening right now scared broke and stuck with a narcissist what's the very first thing they should do the moment this episode ends
• 1:02:59
  I mean, to me, your identity precedes your destiny and your outcome. So it's who are you for yourself first? And stop thinking of yourself as a victim. Because, you know, I say all the time, like, okay, you have all these things. Do you want to be right about that? Great. You're right. You're stuck. You're broke.
• 1:03:23
  Okay, wonderful. But now what? Do you want to be right about that or do you want to have it change? Because you get to decide. But you have to take action. You have to decide first and then take action. So who are you for you? And another story that I tell a lot of times is when I started that law practice,
• 1:03:44
  I had been a lawyer for a couple of years, and then I was a financial advisor. I was a stockbroker with Morgan Stanley for a couple of years, and then I went back to being a lawyer just to start that practice. And I was like, oh, everybody in this town, you know, Naples is a very, like –
• 1:03:59
  Yeah, very wealthy. And so I'm like, everybody's going to think I'm a total flake. This girl doesn't know what she wants. And my coach at the time, my business coach, who's still one of my best friends, she said, people will think what you tell them to think. She said, you can tell them to think that you're a flake, or you can tell them to think that you're the only family law attorney in town that has a financial background, so therefore you're more qualified than any other attorney in town.
• 1:04:27
  I'm so glad you said that. You said that in the first show, and that is so good. Yeah. You frame the narrative. You frame the narrative. And you do it with your actions. And so start with that. And then going back to the things that I said, obviously boundaries. The very first thing is what's your boundary? And to me, the minimum boundary is respect. I don't care if it's your mom, brother, sister, boss, whoever it is. You are a human being on the planet. You deserve respect.
• 1:04:57
  Period. And so if you're somebody speaking to you in a way that doesn't work for you, just say this approach isn't working for me. We can have this conversation later. You have the right to do that. And then make decisions that are going to be for you. And when you start to do that, the right people and situations will show up in your life. It just happens that way. Once you make that decision,
• 1:05:19
  And you keep enforcing that decision. Yeah. It will repel the other people. Yeah. She didn't say it, but I would choose yourself. She said that many times, but she didn't say it in those words. Choose yourself. And then go, if it's a romantic relationship and you're married, go choose a lawyer that has this app and get the heck on and go get some healing. All right. Well, people can use it themselves too. Really?
• 1:05:40
  Oh, yeah. This is it's for justice seekers or lawyers. It's for both because the justice seekers, if they want to start creating like the record right now, now's the time. Where do you get it at? Slaypro.ai. And they can start for free.
• 1:05:55
  Let's put the link in the show notes. That's so good. You've reached over 70 million people on YouTube and built a community in more than 100 countries. What is the one universal truth about power that holds no matter the culture, the money, or the gender? You're the one that orients the room. Authentic power. You hold it. You hold it. Nobody else. People will think what you tell them to think.
• 1:06:25
  You make your own life. You heard it first. Rebecca, I love you. I'm so grateful that you're here. And that was so good. Guys, I'm not going to have to tell you guys to share that episode. Please share it with somebody. Anybody going through difficult things, the SOS, that stood out to me. You framed the narrative. But congratulations on the app. I'm so proud of you. I'm grateful you're here. And until next time, be heart of the life, everybody.
• 1:06:49
  Please rate and share this podcast. I'm active on all social platforms and love to hear from my Segal supporters. Each and every episode is sponsored by my company, National Technology Management, the easiest and best IT company to do business with. Delivering peace of mind with technology every day, even simplifying cybersecurity. Visit TrustNTM.com for more info. Until next week, be harder than life.