Latest / feel your feelings with Ethan Jewell / the easiest ways to improve your mental health
Transcript
- 0:00For years, I knew that I needed to improve my mental health.
- 0:03I knew that I needed to do something and start the process
- 0:07of solving the puzzle that is my mental health.
- 0:11However, I found myself treading water and not making any real
- 0:15improvements. This led me to feeling shame and
- 0:18guilt for not seeing progress and not improving.
- 0:22However, after a few years of experience and a solid amount of
- 0:25research, trial and error, and watching other people's advice
- 0:30on how to improve my mental health, I think I've pieced
- 0:33together a three-part puzzle that you can start today in
- 0:37order to improve your mental health.
- 0:40My name is Ethan Jewell and welcome back to Feel Your
- 0:44Feelings. I know it sounds oversimplified,
- 0:50but often simplifying is what we need to do when it comes to our
- 0:53mental health. This is a three-step puzzle that
- 0:56if you are able to solve it, I genuinely believe it will help
- 1:00your mental health immensely. It has helped mine in ways that
- 1:03I previously thought weren't impossible, and really you can
- 1:06start it anytime, anywhere. Now.
- 1:09I use the word puzzle to describe this method because I
- 1:13think that is a very, very accurate description.
- 1:16When you start a puzzle, you are looking at a mess of pieces and
- 1:20you're not quite sure how they go together.
- 1:22However, you have a formula you can go back to.
- 1:24Almost everyone starts with the edge pieces.
- 1:26You pick out the edge pieces and you begin the puzzle that way,
- 1:29and then you start piercing together certain sections of the
- 1:32puzzle that look easier to solve.
- 1:35There is a formula that you can always go back to.
- 1:38Mental health is complicated. Improving your mental health is
- 1:41even more complicated. But if we have a formula that we
- 1:45can go back to in order to keep piercing together this puzzle,
- 1:49we can always keep moving and never feel like we are treading
- 1:52water. I want to remind you, I am not a
- 1:55mental health professional. I'm not a doctor.
- 1:57I'm not a psychiatrist, however I am a normal guy who has
- 2:00experienced big feelings just like you and through careful
- 2:04trial and error in personal experience, this is the formula
- 2:08I've developped 1A relationship with your body.
- 2:13I know this is very cliche and you've probably heard this a
- 2:16lot, but I cannot stress how important this is.
- 2:19This was the hardest step for me to start on for years.
- 2:22I knew that moving my body and being active would help my
- 2:26overall health, but I didn't realize how much it would help
- 2:29my mental health. You see exercise and movement
- 2:32releases feel good chemicals in your brain such as endorphins or
- 2:35serotonin. What I always believed is that
- 2:38this was just a quick burst of feelings that you felt after
- 2:41your workout and that it would go away, that there's really no
- 2:44point in working out because those feel good.
- 2:46Chemicals would be gone soon after.
- 2:48But in reality, exercise and movement starts a snowball
- 2:52effect. It's natural for humans to want
- 2:54to do things after we have done other things.
- 2:57That's a part of how our motivation and reward system
- 3:00works. When dopamine or other feel good
- 3:02chemicals are released, our body and our mind want more and that
- 3:07motivates you to do other things to improve your health.
- 3:11So what I found is simply by moving, by exercising, I
- 3:15suddenly wanted to do other things.
- 3:17I thought it would tire me out. I thought it would suck all of
- 3:19my energy away. But no, it had the opposite
- 3:22effect. It motivated me and it energized
- 3:25me. Now, I understand that physical
- 3:28activity is very, very difficult.
- 3:30It is a hard habit to get into and it is not easily accessible
- 3:34for everybody. So I want to point out that this
- 3:37physical activity can be very, very small.
- 3:39I'm not demanding that you start going to the gym six days a week
- 3:42or you start doing several mile runs a day.
- 3:45That's very unrealistic and you will get burnt out quickly.
- 3:49I didn't start out going to the gym several times a day or going
- 3:52on runs. I started simply going on like a
- 3:5510 minute walk with my dog and doing 20 pushups.
- 3:59That was it. That was all I would do.
- 4:01I would roll out of bed onto the ground and I would do a few
- 4:04pushups and eventually this started a snowball effect and I
- 4:08would want to do more pushups. I would want to go on longer
- 4:11walks and before I knew it, I felt so motivated to keep
- 4:15improving myself. Your relationship with your body
- 4:19is about establishing feel good chemicals in order to start the
- 4:23natural motivating process that is literally built into us.
- 4:29This is part of our nature and this is part of what we're
- 4:31supposed to do. So please tap into this, tap
- 4:35into this reward system that moving your body can bring you,
- 4:38and watch as you reap the benefits.
- 4:42The next step to solving this puzzle and improving from a
- 4:45place of complacency is a relationship with other people.
- 4:52In 1938, Harvard researchers started a decades long journey
- 4:56to find what makes us happy over this 85 year study.
- 5:02They're consistent finding is that positive relationships make
- 5:06us happier and healthier. Your relationships with other
- 5:09people affect you physically. They affect you mentally, they
- 5:12affect you emotionally. Maintaining healthy and engaging
- 5:16relationships is incredibly important for piercing together
- 5:20your puzzle. This isn't something that can
- 5:22happen overnight and toxic friendships and relationships
- 5:26are very easy to fall into. You should be cautious on who
- 5:30you allow to be close in your life.
- 5:31Now, I'm not saying that your friends should only be your
- 5:35friends if you can rely on them and if they can be a support
- 5:38system and that that's all they're good for.
- 5:40I really don't want to come across like that.
- 5:42However, it is important to have a couple of really close friends
- 5:45that you can rely on and can be a good support system.
- 5:48It's okay to have boundaries with certain people and make
- 5:51sure that the people you are relying on are your healthiest
- 5:54relationships and really will benefit you and will never end
- 5:57up stabbing you in the back. Having close friendships and
- 6:00close relationships and ones that are happy and ones you can
- 6:03rely on is incredibly beneficial to our lives, and that's what
- 6:06that Harvard study found from 85 years ago.
- 6:10Being close with other people feels good.
- 6:13Sharing experiences with other people feels good.
- 6:16Sharing a deep connection and relying on each other through
- 6:19difficult times feels so good. So please take the time to
- 6:23nurture your friendships, to nurture your relationships.
- 6:27Can really deeply connect and understand these people that
- 6:30you're close with. The final piece of the puzzle is
- 6:34your relationship with your mind.
- 6:38This may seem obvious, but you need to have a solid
- 6:41relationship with your mind and emotions in order to solve your
- 6:44puzzle. And I don't mean you need to go
- 6:46to intensive therapy and learn every in and out of your mind.
- 6:50You simply need to understand yourself.
- 6:53What triggers you? What makes you feel good and how
- 6:56you can take care of yourself whenever you're feeling bad?
- 7:00The simplest way to do this is to simply sit in silence and
- 7:03meditate with your feelings. Take 10 to 20 minutes out of
- 7:06your day and sit in a dark room that has no distractions and no
- 7:10noises, and just notice the thoughts, feelings, and emotions
- 7:14that come and go as you're sitting there.
- 7:16And trust me, if you sit there with no distractions, emotions
- 7:20will come up, thoughts will come up, and you can digest them.
- 7:23You can acknowledge them. This will help your relationship
- 7:26with your own mind and help you understand yourself.
- 7:30Whenever things get hard, these emotions won't be as much of a
- 7:33surprise. You'll know what to expect and
- 7:35be able to fall back into a routine.
- 7:38This is a really, really important and beautiful part of
- 7:40the human experience. Being able to engage with
- 7:43yourself, being able to have deep conversations with yourself
- 7:47and being able to understand who you are, what hurts you and how
- 7:52you can improve yourself. This is a very, very big part of
- 7:55the puzzle and one that took me a long time.
- 7:58I went through a couple years of therapy and I journaled a lot
- 8:01and I meditated a lot, and eventually I was able to
- 8:05determine what makes me feel bad, what makes me feel good,
- 8:08how to avoid the bad, and how to channel the good.
- 8:12And this has done wonders for improving my mental health and
- 8:16solving my puzzle. One of the worst feelings is
- 8:19trying to improve your mental health, knowing you need to, but
- 8:23feeling like you're making no progress.
- 8:25And that is a place that I was stuck in for years.
- 8:28But by simplifying and breaking down the steps into a three-part
- 8:32formula, I have something that I'm always able to go back to
- 8:35and that is incredibly important.
- 8:37So once again, I'm not a professional.
- 8:39This isn't a tried and true method that I can 100% guarantee
- 8:43will work, but I urge you to try to find your own formula.
- 8:47We are all trying to solve the puzzle that is our mental
- 8:51health. We are all trying to piece it
- 8:52together and figure out how to improve and you can come up with
- 8:56your own formula. You can find what works for you.
- 8:59So start experimenting, start with this formula, improve your
- 9:03relationship with your body, with other people and with your
- 9:06mind and see what happens. Take the next year and really
- 9:10try to dig deep and solve this puzzle.
- 9:14You deserve to feel like you are moving, you deserve to feel like
- 9:18you are improving, and you deserve to watch all of your
- 9:21pieces fall into place. That's going to wrap it up for
- 9:25today's episode. If you need help feeling your
- 9:28feelings at all, go check out my music under the name of Ethan
- 9:31Jewel on all platforms. I almost guarantee it'll make
- 9:34you cry. Also, please shoot me a message
- 9:37on my Instagram at Jewel Boy with an I under score and let me
- 9:41know what you thought about today's episode.
- 9:43So thank you so much for being here.
- 9:45Thank you for listening. And as always, thank you for
- 9:48feeling your feelings. I'll see you next time.