Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / 200. Kara Goucher, World-Renowned Runner & 2X Olympian

Transcript

200. Kara Goucher, World-Renowned Runner & 2X Olympian · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: We can celebrate the highs. Sometimes you're on a loan.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: People don't necessarily know, so just treat people with grace
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: because you just don't know what other people are going through.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: Episode two hundred of Hurdle. I'm so amped.
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: Emily Abadi here coming to you live from the AG studio.
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: You are listening to Hurdle, a wellness focused podcast where
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: I connect with everyone from your favorite athletes to top
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: experts and industry CEOs about their highest highs, toughest moments,
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: and everything in between. We all go through hurdles in life,
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: and my goal through these discussions is to empower you
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  Speaker 3: to better navigate yours and move with intention so that
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: you can stride towards your own big potential and of
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: course have some fun along the way. Two hundred episodes. Okay,
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: I feel the need to disclaim that there are actually,
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: at this very point in time, four hundred and sixty
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: seven episodes in the Hurdle podcast feed.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: But you know the drill. If you are Hurdler.
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: Mondays are the numbered episodes, and so today marks episode
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: two hundred. It also marked me sitting here recording this
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: intro with a voice that maybe a little more harsh
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: than usual after just the most unbelievable few days of events.
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: A huge thank you first to the wonderful woman that
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: came out for a dinner that I co hosted with
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: my friends at Whoop last Thursday night. It truly was
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: just the most special opportunity to get together in community,
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: and I feel just as grateful for the opportunity to
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: come together irl for the Hurdler Huddle that I hosted
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: on Saturday with thirty outstanding heard from the New York
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: City community.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: I look forward to recreating this.
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: Experience goodness all over the United States. You make me
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: amped and excited and motivated to make it happen. So
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: my rough voice it says thank you. I Digress, episode
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: two hundred. This is awesome. Kara Goucher, what a big
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: way for me to come into this new let's call
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: it some new territory.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: I loved catching up with Kara.
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: We kicked things off today by talking about Kara's recent
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: diagnosis of runners estonia, what that means, and how it's
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: affecting her emotionally and mentally. We also bring it back
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: to talk about how she fell in love with the
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: sport in the first place, with the help of her
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: late grandfather. Some really beautiful stories there and what it
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: was like losing him to COVID during the pandemic, plus
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: her journey to self acceptance and navigating disordered eating as
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: a college athlete, and the hard work that went into
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: her Olympic experiences is first as an athlete and then
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: most recently as a commentator for NBC. We cap things
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: off by talking about the recent campaign for Ultra that
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: we are both a part of highlighting that if you
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: have a body, regardless of what it looks like, you
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: are an athlete. I am so so grateful for Kara's
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: openness throughout this. This was truly such a joy, and
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: I am so amped to photo bomb her Boston Marathon coverage.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: Okay, I'm kind of kidding, but not so much. I
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: can't wait to see you out there, Kara.
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: If you haven't done so yet, make sure you're subscribed
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: to the weekly Hurdle newsletter of The link to do
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: that is in the show notes. I would love to
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: be in your inbox every single Friday morning. The link
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: to join the Secret not So Secret Hurdler's Facebook group
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: is also in the show notes.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: We'd love for you to come hang with that community.
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: Plus make sure you're following along with Hurdle over on
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: social at Hurdle podcast and I am over at Emily
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: a Body with that episode two hundred.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: Let's get to hurdling.
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: Today.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: I am sitting down with Cara Goucher.
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: She's a two time US Olympian, a World Championships silver medalist,
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: and arguably one of the most decorated female American distance
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: runners in history.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: How are you?
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: I'm doing great.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: As I was telling you before we recorded, I'm hanging out
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: my son's room today, so everything's good.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: I feel like I just like casually asked you how
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: you're doing, but I feel like we need to like
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: collectively have a moment here where I really ask you
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: how you're doing because a lot has happened over the
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: last two years, not just because of gestures loosely the pandemic,
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: the panini, but because of like what's been going on
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: in your world.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: So, Cara Goucher are you today?
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: You know? I am doing well.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: I'm a lot like the last two years for me
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: have been very stressful and like for so many people,
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: but just a lot of stuff in my personal life
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: happening and issues with my health, and I feel like
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: a lot of the things that were stressing me out
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: are now done. I have a plan to navigate my health,
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: and the trip to Hawaii that my husband and said
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: and I were supposed to take two years ago is
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: happening in this coming Sunday. So I feel like we're
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: things are coming together. I'm leaving some things behind in
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: my past, and I feel excited about this week to
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: regroup together in a week coming up in a week.
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: I love this moment of gratitude for you. Okay, two
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: things to double click on here. The first thing to
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: double click on is you said it talking a little
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: bit about what you've been going on with your health.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: Why don't you shed some light on that.
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: For the people who may be listening to this who
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: are not in the loop just yet.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Essentially, I passed out on a treadmill in December of
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: twenty twenty, and from then on when I ran outside,
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: I started to have this really crazy slipping sensation, and
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: you know.
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  Speaker 4: I could fall a lot.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: I would always run across the street to the left
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: side of the road, and I couldn't stop my body
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: from doing that, which led me to fund like falling
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: it I fell into traffic, which finally led me to
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: admit something was wrong, which finally led me to see
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: a doctor. But then it was just like like searching
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: for a needle in a haystack, right Like I'd go
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: to this neuralogist and I'm like, my left foot slips
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: and I feel like someone's pushing me to the left,
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: and it was just like so hard to explain. And
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: so then of course, you know, you Mria the spine,
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: you Amri the brain. They found I had brain lesions,
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: so that took us down one path. We were worried
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: that it was MS. Eventually we realized it wasn't. I
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: started to feel a little bit better, and then last
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: fall everything came back in a much more severe way.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: I was having a lot of problems walking, just being
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: a normal human, and so that led me to see
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: more doctors, and I got this diagnosis in November of
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: runners dystonia or focal dystonia, like dystonia had one part
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: of your body. And then I went to get a
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: second opinion. I went to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: and it was confirmed. So now it's just sort of
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: learning how to live with this new diagnosis, which is confusing,
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: and I know most people are probably are like, what
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: the heck is runners dystonia, But essentially it's there is
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: no cure for it, and it's it's something that your
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: body's done a lot of times. Like we've heard of
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: musicians dystonia, like where their hands won't work, and essentially
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: that's what happened. My left leg does not work the
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: way it used to.
• 7:38
  Speaker 4: I really don't have.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: Control over it, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: And so like the solution is medication. There's things to try,
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: but essentially cutting way back on the running that I do,
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: which for me is like devastating because I love running
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: so much. Right, So, it's been a crazy year, right
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: because I fluctuate between feeling gratitude that it's not something
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: more serious, but then all so angered that this is
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: happening to me. So I'm kind of like I've been
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: all over the place, you know, yeah all this.
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: I mean, how would you not be all over the place?
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: And it's hard to like find these moments of gratitude
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: when you're sitting in it. Last week, you know, I
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: was talking to someone about a very frustrating situation. She
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: said to me, how can you reframe this to think, Okay,
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: this is happening for me, but still like sitting there
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: and being like, yes, runners, dystonia is happening for me, right.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I mean it is funny to think
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: of it that way because the last scary thing we
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: thought I had when I couldn't walk was als and
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: obviously that's very very serious and that would that takes
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: people's lives and in a really difficult, horrible way. And
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: so you know, I'm trying to be grateful that. It's
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: not that I'm grateful to the running community that's shown
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: me so much support. I'm grateful to people like Justin
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: Galloway who have runners yestonia, who have just like opened
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: up to me. So there is is a lot of
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: good that's come from it. I feel like positive forces
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: in my life because of it. But at the end
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: of the day, like I can't go for a run
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: out my front door, and so I'm still sort of
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: mourning that and like, you know, figuring out what this
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: really means for me long term.
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And I mean when you talked about it on Instagram,
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: you shared, I'm not sure where running ends and I begin.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: We are so intertwined as one.
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: I'm unsure what the future holds, but I'm trying to
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: embrace it. Firstly, your words in that post where you
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: shared what was going on with you were so poignant
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: and beautiful and just like seriously piercing to the heart
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: for you. After sharing this openly, how did it feel
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: to kind of come out with what you had been
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: battling with for so long?
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: Personally, honestly, there was a lot of relief. I feel
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: like I was like in the last year, I had
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: two different worlds. One was like where I was shying
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: up this new opportunity of doing commentating and working at
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: track meets. In this other world where I was like
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: always afraid of what the next test was going to
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: be or how my body was going to be. So
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: I think finally telling like my very closest friends do,
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: but most of my friends didn't even know because I
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: don't know what's wrong with me. So it's hard to describe, right, Like,
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: especially like last summer, It's like I don't even know
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: what's wrong with me, So why would I let my
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: friend worry about it when I don't even know what?
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Like I didn't even tell my aunt for so long
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: or anything, So there's relief in it being out there,
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: feeling like it's a weird diagnosis. And I think I
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: had some shame and like, oh, maybe I did this
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: to myself somehow, maybe.
• 10:34
  Speaker 4: I caused this.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: But I think putting it out there made me feel better,
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: and like, you know what, I'm just going to tell
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: the truth. This is what's happening to me. And I
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: know it's not my fault, but you know, you still
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: have those thoughts.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, you mentioned commentating.
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: Did you have to do anything special or specific to
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: take care of your health as you were doing all
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: this travel and really picking up hours and things like
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: that when you were commentating for the Olympics.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: You know, honestly, when I was commenting at the Olympic,
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: I was on a really good stretch. I had gotten
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: better over the summer. I thought I still couldn't like
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: I still did this day. Can't run and turn a
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: right hand turn like a ninety degree turn, and I
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable running on the left side of the road.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: But other than that, I like when I first started
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: running in the spring, my husband would run with me,
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: friends would run with me that knew what was going on.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: But then I got to the point where I was like,
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: I'm fine, I just can't make a hard right hand
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: turn and I just have to run on the right side.
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: Of the road.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: And so I was in a pretty good place when
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: I was at the Olympics. In fact, I ran a
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: couple times above the stadium, which is an extremely smooth surface,
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: which now I couldn't do that at all.
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: The only thing that.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: Happened in Tokyo was every day, every time I entered
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: the stadium, so multiple times day I had to cross
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: this giant metal plate and I could not walk across
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: that plate. Something about it gave me that feeling like
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: I was going to fall, and so I would like
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: either hold someone's hand or.
• 11:51
  Speaker 4: I'd like touch the side as I crossed it. And
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: so that was.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: Really the only thing at that point I felt like
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: I've overcome this, whatever it is, overcome it, you know,
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: just this weird time when I have to walk across
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: a metal plate.
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, wow, what a crazy scenario for you, And I'm
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: sure something that's totally throwing you off your game when
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: you're trying to be so on your game. Going on
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: to international television, talk to me a little bit more
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: about that experience for you. I would imagine that as
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: an Olympian yourself. This was definitely a full circle moment.
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: It really was.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: You know, I went to two Olympic Games, and the
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: first one, I was, you know, a metal favorite, and
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: I finished ninth in the event that I was a
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: medal favorite in. And then the second Olympics, you know,
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: I believed I had an outside chance and I ended
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: up finishing tenth. And so I was always sort of
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: like felt like I really let everybody down at the Olympics,
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: especially the first one oh eight. I felt like I
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: got really overwhelmed by the bigness of it and the
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: attention of it, and really got away from who I
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: was as an athlete, what made me perform well.
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: And so I just never.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: Really like talked about the Olympics when like people meanwhile,
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: but the first thing they ask you when they find out.
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: You into the Olympics was did you win a medal?
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: It's like, no, ninety nine percent of us don't win
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: a medal, you know, And so I just always kind
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: of felt like sad when i'd look back, I had
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: like not positive memories with the Olympics. So I think
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: going there in this different role, I just appreciated all
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: of the athletes competing and granted I didn't get to
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: watch like the Olympics because I was living at the
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: stadium essentially, but I did not see one athlete who
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: didn't try their hardest, who didn't have their heart on
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: their sleeve. And for me, it was really healing kind
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: of because it made me think back at my time
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: at the Olympics and think, well.
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: I did do the best that I could on that day.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: I did leave everything out there, and so why am
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: I impressed by this person?
• 13:47
  Speaker 4: But I feel like I failed.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: For me, it was like a really really great experience
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: and it was really special and I felt really honored
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: to be able to help tell people's stories while they
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: were competing.
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: Kara, I've just got all like throw this into the
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: mix here. You're pretty hard on yourself.
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: Yes I am. I Yeah, I don't know.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: I've always been that way, like I just want to
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: make everybody proud.
• 14:12
  Speaker 4: It's a blessing and a curse. I think.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: I think it's a blessing because it makes me work
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: really hard, but it's a curse because sometimes they can't
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: appreciate my own self, you know what I mean. It's
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: just always like, well, it could have been better. But
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: part of that too, is just the elite athlete mindset.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: It's like, even if you win a medal, you're thinking like, well,
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: now what.
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: Could I do? You never really sit with the success.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: You have, and then when you're past competing, like I am,
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: I look back and I'm like, wow, it's pretty good.
• 14:38
  Speaker 4: I wish I would have been nicer to myself. Wrote that
• 14:40
  Speaker 4: ten years span. Yeah.
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: I mean, it's so interesting to hear you talk and
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: reflect on like so many different experiences, but throughout all
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: of it you're like, well, what if I did this?
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: Or with what if I did that? Like talking about
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: your current diagnosis. And then I think, you know, the
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: other day, when I was prepping for this, I watched
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: an interview you did after the twenty sixteen marathon trials.
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: I feel like just saying that you like, oh, I
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: know exactly what interview this is, but I think it was.
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: For Let's Run dot com.
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: And you're just so sad, understandably so, because you came
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: in fourth in those trials and you said the sentence,
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: they were just better than me. When you when you
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: reflect on that, now, do you understand that statement not
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: to be true.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: I mean they were better than me on that day.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: On that day, they were and I lost three women
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: that were worthy. It wasn't like someone pulled this race
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: out that they were weren't capable of running. It's just
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: it's a tough sport, right, It's I mean, only three go,
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: so it doesn't matter how hard do you run or
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: how much. Like for me, I had pulled myself out
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: of two years of injury and I was really written
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: off at that point, and I pulled myself back to
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: be in a position to make that team. And yeah,
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: I think it's taken me a long time to appreciate
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: the race that I did have at those trials. It
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: feel now like I did a really good job. But
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: you know, yeah, that's always going to think that. One
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: is always going to say.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: I hear that.
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: I mean not to mention talking about other moments where
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: you really had just like this valiant comeback the year
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: after having your son Colt coming back in such a
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: big way to hit an all time marathon. Pr talk
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: to me a little bit about how maybe you surprised
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: yourself in that moment.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I was under so much stress so
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: I had my son in the end of September twenty ten,
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: and less than seven months away was the Boston Marathon,
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: and I was like hell bent on doing that. You know,
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: I didn't know. I didn't know what it would be
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: like to have a newborn. I didn't know how long
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: it would take my body be healed. So it's kind
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: of interesting talking about that because I'm always like, I
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: really shouldn't have done that because I rushed so hard
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: to get back. I pushed my body and it wasn't
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: healed yet. And I feel like, especially in America, we
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: have this thing of like, oh, they got their body
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: back in six weeks or they were back doing this
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: in ten weeks, and I feel like in other countries
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: it's not like that. Like you had a baby, people
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: acknowledge that and they wait for you to be ready.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: So I definitely have mixed emotions about that race. But
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: I was proud of how I ran. I was proud that,
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: you know, I put my nose in it, and I
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: think I ended up fifth, but I ran the best
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: time of my life. So I mean, you can't really
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: ask much more of yourself than that.
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: It seems to me, obviously such a beautiful event for
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: your life having your son. But it's like these really
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: big earth shattering events in our lives, these hurdles as
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: you as we call them for an athlete, a hurdle
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: of having a baby and coming back into the swing
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: of things. For you, so many of these really difficult
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: personal moments over the last couple of years.
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: They leave this.
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: Profound impact on us and inspire us to emerge in
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: a new or a different way than perhaps we were
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: before this.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: Event happened for you.
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: Something else to touch on here, a really big hurdle
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: for you over the last couple of years, the loss
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: of your grandfather to COVID. I know that he was
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: the person that introduced you to running.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: As a whole.
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: We'll talk to us a little bit about how that
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: was for you and your family back in twenty twenty.
• 18:05
  Speaker 4: Okay, I'll probably start crying, but it's okay.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: I'm here for you.
• 18:09
  Speaker 4: I just love my grandpa so much.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: And you know, my dad died when I was four,
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: and we moved in with my grandparents before my mom
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: bought a house, and my grandpa was just so supportive,
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: like he never treated us different than his grandson's. He
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: believed we could do anything. He and I had a
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: special bond because he was a lifelong runner and he
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: got me into running. So he would tell everybody this story,
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: and I'm sure everyone at his retirement community was.
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: Just so bored of this story.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: But when I was six years old, he took me
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: to this little fun festival and it was just a
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: mile race and they started the race and I got
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: pushed and fell, and he would tell the story that
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: I stood up and my knees were bleeding, and he thought,
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: oh great, I've ruined running for her, and instead I
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: was like, they're getting away from us. And he loved
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: to tell that story to show because I was very,
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: very shy. I still can be, but he would love
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: to tell that story that like, I was just this
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: little shy girl, but I had a ton of like
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: competitive nature, and I had things I wanted to do.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: So that was the first time I ever ran. Was
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: that run with him, and he just was so supportive,
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: And obviously my running is so tied to him. I
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: think that's why I wanted Some of this diagnosis has
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: been difficult because that's when I feel closest to him.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: But really, the last you know, I was always traveling
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: and doing things when I was an elite athlete. My
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: grandpa would call and leave a message and say, don't
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: worry about calling me back. I know how busy you are.
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: And I think when I started to move beyond running professionally,
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: I started to think, like, what are the things that
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: are most important to me right now? And that's seeing
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: my grandpa and my grandma, And so I put a
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: lot of effort into going to Minnesota three or four
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: times a year to spend time with them. And so
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: that's what happened in twenty twenty is I was there
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: for three weeks. My son had online learning, and so
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: we went to Minnesota and spend time with my mom
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: and my grandparents and my grandpa. Contract got COVID right
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: before we left, and a week later I flew back
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: and I was with him as he passed, and it
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: was just so hard and we hadn't been able to
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: see him only through a window for months, you know. Once, essentially,
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: once COVID started, so there was some anger that like
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: we followed the rules and someone else brought it in,
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: but then it was just so devastating. And around that time,
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: you know, that's when I feel like COVID became politicized,
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: and so there was a lot of people saying, well,
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: he's so old, who cares this? And that, you know,
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: And so that whole thing was so hard. And even
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: now if I say something, some random person will jump
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: in and say.
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: Let it go, or he was going to die anyway,
• 20:47
  Speaker 4: or you know what I mean.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: But I think I was grateful to be there with
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: him when he died, but to watch him die so violently,
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: it was just so hard. I mean, I know people
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: lose loved ones all the time, but it really and
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: I knew he wouldn't live forever. He was ninety five,
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: you know, he wasn't going to live forever. But I
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: think in the way that he was taken and how
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: he had to suffer as he was going, it just
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: it really hurts.
• 21:17
  Speaker 4: And he didn't deserve that.
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I hear you. Thank you for sharing that
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: with us.
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: I mean we're talking about that reframing from earlier in
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: our conversation, right, and you talked about having this moment
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: when you were falling back from running professionally that you
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: had to ask yourself what is important to me? And
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: so if you who knows, like what would have happened,
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: Like if you went, you know, to the Olympics, and
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: you didn't have this like kind of come to Jesus
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: moment where you were like, what am I doing with
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: my life? Like what's important to me? And you didn't
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: spend all that extra time with him. How you would
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: feel now, despite already carrying around this heavy sadness right
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: about the circumstance that surrounded that difficult life event for you.
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: So to be able to have that kind of perspective
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: that you do have now is really really special.
• 22:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: No, I'm so grateful for the choices I made. My
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: husband was super supportive. Essentially from twenty sixteen on, I
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: was going multiple times a year, spending long weekends there,
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: and you know, of course you always want more time.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: But I am so glad that I realized that before
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: it was too late, and that I spent good quality
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: time with him before it was too late. And so
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: I mean, really like, life is short, and sometimes you
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: get caught up in the day of the day, or
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: you get caught up in the grind, but like, at
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: the end of the day, what matters to you the most,
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: and for me, it really is my family, And so
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: I'm glad that I realized that and was able to
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: have all those moments with him before he passed.
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: Definitely.
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: And you mentioned the loss of your father from a
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: really young age. I know that he was killed by
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: a drunk driver. You originally from Queen's and then moved
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: out to Minnesota shortly, I mean after that, talk to
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: me a little bit about perhaps your relationship with your mother,
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: having you know only her and then of course your grandparents, uh,
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: you know, as you were coming of age and coming
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: into sport.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, my mom is like one tough cookie. Like I
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: think I've only seen her cry like maybe twice in
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: my life. We're total opposites in that sense. We're like
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: all cry at the Folders commercial and like, I seriously
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: think I've only seen her like cry twice in my
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: entire life.
• 23:21
  Speaker 4: You know, she just was not the kind of mom.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: She was always there, involved in everything, volunteering at everything,
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: going on field trips, at every single race, at every
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: single soccer came. But she wasn't the kind of mom
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: that made you that allowed you to like dwell in
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: self pity, you know, like it was always like there
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: are people who have it worse than us.
• 23:41
  Speaker 4: There we have this.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: We always focusing on what we had versus what we
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: didn't have, And so I'm really grateful for her for
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: that because I feel like I am a glass half
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: full person. I do think I got that from her.
• 23:54
  Speaker 4: She.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: Like I said, I love her and we're super close,
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: but we have different personalities. She's a lot more stoic.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: I'm a lot more I don't know what the word
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: would be vulnerable. I don't know, uh, but she never
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: let us take no for an answer either. And I
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: mean she is the reason why, like I fought my
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: high school to, you know, have assemblies for all the
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: sports that went to state, not just hockey and all
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: these things. Like I would complain about it and then
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: she'd be like, we'll do something about it. So she
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: really molded me into like sometimes you have to take
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: things into your own hands. You can't just complain about it.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: You have to work to the make to be the change.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: And so I just love her. She's so she's like
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: little and tiny, and my sisters and I are all
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: giants compared to her.
• 24:35
  Speaker 4: I'm the smallest.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: I'm five eight, and then my other sisters five ten,
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: and my little sister's six feet and she's like five three.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: So she's just like this tiny little pocket rocket, but
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: she is powerful and she'd gets stuff done.
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: I would like to think that you're talking about her
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: as being one of these never let us take no
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: for an answer kind of women, And I would argue
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: that you are certainly the same way, really standing up
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: for yourself as you went through your evolution as a
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: professional athlete.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: Talk to me a little bit about coming.
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: Into your own in that way, right in really taking
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: pride in what you were capable of, but also then
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: standing up for yourself as you made your way through
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: the years.
• 25:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm just non confrontational by nature. I was
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: always really shy, Like I couldn't even call someone on
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: the phone and order a Pizzaide have to have my
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: mom do it for me. But I think as I
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: got older, and especially like once my son was born,
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: there were things in my life that started to bother me.
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: And you know, my husband is the exact opposite of me,
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: Like he is like confrontational, let's just get it out
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: in the open and get it done, where as I'm like, well,
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: well well let me think about it for like four months,
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: you know. But I think I just started, I think
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: having cult and having to advocate for him started to
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: sort of turn this tide in me to say, like,
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with pushing for equality, there's nothing wrong
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: with calling out things that are wrong.
• 25:56
  Speaker 4: And in fact, if you have a voice that people will.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: Listen to and you don't use it, then you are
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: kind of part of the problem and you're not part
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: of the solution. It was not an overnight thing. I
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: think it started with giving birth, the cult and not
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: getting paid by my sponsor then started there. That's kind
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: of where it started to burn. And then as I
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: experienced other things, you know, I just became more and
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: more passionate about making sure that no other woman would
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: go through what I had gone through. So it's been
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: a long process and still sometimes I'm like, oh God,
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: don't quote me on that, But in general it's good.
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: You know, you said something on a podcast that I
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: listened to. I believe it was a grounded podcast, and
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: you said something that it's frustrating for you at times
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: because so many of the questions or specific events that
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: people ask you about are events that you look back
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: on and don't have the fondest memories of. Talk to
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: me a little bit about that, because I certainly can
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: relate to that as well, you know, to moments where
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: from the outside looking in, when you don't know much
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: about me, this looks super shiny and awesome, and someone
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: says something like, you have been doing so great without
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: knowing much more. So talk me through. You know where
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: some of those frustrations came from. In your glory moments
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: when you yourself you weren't that happy.
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean just that race you asked me about
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: Boston twenty eleven.
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: You know, everyone was like, oh my.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: Gosh, you did so well. But I was I was
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: causing injury to myself. I felt like I had to
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: do that. I wasn't being paid by my sponsor, and
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: so behind the scenes, I was hating life. I felt
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: like I was sacrificing time with my child to like
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: prove to my sponsor that I was still a serious athlete.
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: I think, you know, it's just it's tough. Like even
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: the when I ran Boston the first time. You know,
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: my team that was a failure, according like to everyone
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: around me and my squad, and so.
• 27:54
  Speaker 4: When people would say, oh, two thousand and nine.
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: It was exciting, and I just like I just remember
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: crying and my coach telling me, I messed up, and
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: you know.
• 28:02
  Speaker 4: So it's just it's it's tough.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: And that's again, that's like what I don't want for
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: the next generation. I want them to take celebrate it.
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: Could you maybe do better? Sure, let's look to the
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: future then, but like, you just did this amazing thing.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of the races that people
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: remember that I did behind the scenes, my life was
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: not very happy and things were not going that well,
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: and I would lose. Like I love running so much
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: my Grandpa instilled in me. He would always talk about
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: the freedom of losing your mind through movement, and I
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: love that. But I had years where I actually hated running.
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: I was just doing it. It became a job and
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: nothing was good enough for the people around me, and
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: like I actually didn't like running, And then I'd have
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: to remind myself, like no, no, no, I love this.
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: I have to get back to why I do it
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: and why I love it. But there were definitely years
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: where it was a tightrope walk.
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, let's h it doesn't usually take me, you know,
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: twenty six minutes to get to this point. But I
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: would love for us to circle back a little bit
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: and talk about some of those beginning years because hearing
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: that now in retrospect, I think it will actually help
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: a lot of women maybe that are listening to this
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: on their personal journeys, who are in this tightrope walk
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: moment on their path. So talk to us about a
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: little bit of those beginning years for you and running
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: and what really inspired you to keep up with it
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: and really lean into it professionally.
• 29:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: So for most of my childhood, like when I was younger,
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: it was just something my grandpa and I would do
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: and I wasn't serious.
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: Maybe we'd run down to the Minnowettan back from his house,
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: which it was just like a few miles, or maybe
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: we'd go do a little race like the Mother's Day
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: Run or something, but it was nothing serious. I just
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: loved it, and I think I loved it because of him.
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: It was like my alone time with him. But then
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: when I was older, I joined organized running in middle school,
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: and I'm so grateful for the experience I had. I
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: ran for my middle school cross country in seventh grade,
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: and then that winter that the high school coach asked
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: me to come out for the high school track team,
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: and there was a little group of us seventh graders.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: We'd bring our running shoes to school and we walked
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: down to the high school and we'd go to practice.
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: And so I ran with the same girls for six years.
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: I had the same coach for six years, and it
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: was always so about fun, about having fun, about believing
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: in each other. We won the state cross country championship
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: the four years that I was in high school, and
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: that's what my.
• 30:27
  Speaker 4: Coach focused on.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: And you know, yeah, I want some individual stuff, but
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: even he could tell when I was getting nervous, and
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: he'd be like, Hey, all you need to do is
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: do the best you can do so that we can
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: still get this team title. And he just made everything fun.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: And the women, I mean, they're girls, but the women
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: that I trained with for their women now. But the
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: girls that I trained with, I'm still friends with them.
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: We are like bonded forever. We were so invested in
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: each other's success and in everybody meeting their own individual goals.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: And I feel like, I don't know, I just feel
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: like I had the most lucky, charmed high school experience
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: with running, because it really showed me you could be
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: good and you could train hard and still love it
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: and still have fun.
• 31:09
  Speaker 4: And so that's like the stuff that I go back
• 31:11
  Speaker 4: to when.
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: I would resent running, I'd think about my friends and
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: how close we still are and how it bonded all
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: of us, and I'm just really grateful for that experience.
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: Taking a break from today's episode to talk to you
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: about my sponsors. First up, Inside Tracker, Inside Trackers and
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: Ultra personalized nutrition system that analyzes your blood and DNA
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: biomarkers forty three total to be exact along with your
• 31:41
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  Speaker 3: Sample pack today. For those that didn't have that like
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  Speaker 3: team foundation in high school, maybe they just didn't consider
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  Speaker 3: themselves athletic or the time, at the time, or what
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: have you, that really laid again that word foundation for
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: you going forward, both and like your athleticism, but also
• 35:01
  Speaker 3: in your credential for perhaps female friendships like special opportunity.
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: I a few years ago went to Nike Cross Nationals,
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: and I saw, for the first time, being someone who
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: only briefly was involved in team sports in high school,
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: I was exposed to just how beautiful it was to
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: see these young women truly.
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: Root for each other in a way that I had
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: never seen.
• 35:26
  Speaker 3: Like, yes, it's awesome and special and beautiful to go
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: to marathons and cheer on the sidelines for your friends
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: and run in marathons and all these things as an adult,
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: but as an adult woman, to see these young women
• 35:36
  Speaker 3: thriving in this atmosphere, it was unrivaled.
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I you know, I usually was the
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: first one from our team, and we'd go through the
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: shoot as quickly as possible to come around to cheer
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: on the rest of our teammates and even our teammates
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: that were not on varsity. We just loved each other.
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: I feel so lucky I had that, because I don't
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: think that everybody has that, and I do think some
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: times there's this stereotype that like women can't work well together.
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: But that's the reason why I stayed with running was
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: because of those girls, and we're still friends. You know,
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: I went through puberty late in high school and I
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: slowed way down. In fact, my little sister, who was
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: an eighth grader, beat me, and I would have quit.
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: If it hadn't been for those girls. I would have
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: quit because I would have been like, this isn't fun anymore.
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: I used to be super good. I'm not anymore. Everything
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: is harder. I don't know this body. I'm embarrassed about
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: this body. But they wouldn't. They would never in a
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: million years let me quit.
• 36:32
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: It was like this, this group of girls that we
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: just had each other's backs, and so without them, I
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: kind of quit when I was a junior in high school.
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and then foreshadowing a little bit here, but when
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: you got to college, that kind of like late to
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: the game puberty moment contributed to a little bit of body.
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: Dysmorphia question mark when you became a college athlete.
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: So talk to us a little bit about what that
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: time was like for you, really stepping into your womanhead
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: while also trying to perform.
• 36:59
  Speaker 4: At that Yeah.
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: So I went to Colorado because they had a good
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: team and I wasn't running that well, but I thought,
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: you know what I could probably make their varsity team
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: and at least be a part of a team that's
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: trying to do something special. And it just was really
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: I mean, I loved my college experience. I love Mark Wetmore.
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: I'm still we still talk all the time. If I
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: ever ran another race, He's the one I would have
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: coached me. But it was it was serious. It was
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: very different than my experience at East High School, where
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: we woul run to the grocery store and eat a
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: donut hole and then run back. You know, it was
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: very different. There were workouts, there was mileage, there was
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: a point to everything. You had to earn your spot,
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: so it was tough. And I would say, you know,
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: I was still sort of adjusting to my body because
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: I went through puberty so late. And then finally I
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: did sort of adjust to it and I started to
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: run really well. But then I felt all this pressure
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: to look different. And I think that the NCAA in
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: general has a problem with with female athletes and body issues,
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: and specifically in track and field and cross country, no doubt.
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: And so I just sort of became weird about food,
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: like and a bunch of my teammates were weird about food,
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: so then I could justify it, like, oh, well, this
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: is how you have to do it when you get
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: to this level. And you know, I just it got
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: out of control. It did, and really, you know, it
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: was my mom that was like, you're not running next
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: fall unless you gained some weight. I was like, what
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: what do you mean. I'm an adult. I can do
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: what I want, you know, and she was like, no,
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: you're not. This is not healthy.
• 38:27
  Speaker 4: So I don't know.
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: It's tough because I feel like it's a hard thing
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: to avoid in cleeedeate running. But I feel like if
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: people talked about it more and it could be open,
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: like like my sister.
• 38:39
  Speaker 4: I was a fifth year.
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: My sister was a freshman and we were all ordering
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: salads and she ordered a burger. I just remember being
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: so jealous of her, like she can order a burger
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: and she is not worried about what that's going to
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: do to her, and I'm poking at this disgusting salad,
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: you know. And then I was like I want to
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: be like that again. I don't want to be like
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: this anymore. So I never judge disordered eating or eating
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: disorders because I know I had my own issues and
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: I know how hard they are to break. But I
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: do think we need a shift because not everyone should
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: have this story of Yes, I went through a part
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: time where I wasn't fueling myself.
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And I mean you just did shed some light
• 39:17
  Speaker 3: with that example. But aside from the weight loss that
• 39:21
  Speaker 3: you experienced, what was like an example of you taking
• 39:24
  Speaker 3: it too far?
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's all I thought about. I remember I
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: started dating my husband and I wouldn't eat all day
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: because he would make He would make me eat, so
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: I would eat like just little tiny snacks throughout the day.
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: I'd probably run like ten miles. And I went to
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: his house and we were just dating and he was
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: going to make dinner. And then I got there and
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: he was like, I haven't gotten to the grocery store yet.
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: And remember thinking like I'm going to faint. I'm so hungry,
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: you know. He was like here, he opened a bag
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: of Dorito's and he was like, here, just have a
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: few and then we'll go to the store. And I
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: like couldn't eat it, and he was like eat it.
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: Eat This gonna make him sound so bad, but finally
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: he goes eat the fucking dorito, So like I had
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: to eat this derito, which is so crazy because now
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: I would eat whatever dorito's while I was training. But
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: at the time food was bad. There was some some
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: food was good, but most food was bad. And I
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: remember eating that dorito and thinking like, oh my god,
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: all my hard work is gone now because I ate
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: a dorito And he was like beyond annoyed with me, like,
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: what the hell?
• 40:24
  Speaker 4: Who am I dating? This girl? Is so weird? But
• 40:27
  Speaker 4: that's how it was. It was very controlling.
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: It's not that I wouldn't eat, but I was obsessed
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: with like how much I ate, what food I ate.
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: It was so so opposite of who I am now.
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: But I mean, I just think it's it's really hard
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: to not fall into those traps when you're a young woman.
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: To compare, I mean, even now, it's even worse because
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: that was before social media. So now you get to
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: see everybody with their perfect bodies all over social media.
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: You get to hear about it, you know, and so
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: now it's even more intense, and you're just at a
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: vulnerable place in your life. You're away from home, you're
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: learning who you are, and I think we have like
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: an epidemic of this. I feel grateful that I got
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: out of that, but it took a lot to get.
• 41:07
  Speaker 4: Out of that.
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: Talk to me about getting out of that, so.
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: I mean, really, my mom was like, you have to
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: gain some weight. So I just gained a few pounds,
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: you know. I remember one of my teammates saying, oh,
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: you look so much better this season, and feeling like, oh,
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: like apple I heard was, Oh, no, I'm pat right.
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's so crazy, but that's the way my
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: mind was working. When I graduated from college, I just
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: couldn't stay healthy. It was like I would train, my
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: coach would say, oh my gosh, you're starting to get
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: into great shape, and then I get another stress fracture.
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: And even though at that point I had really shifted
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: into treating my body better, I.
• 41:40
  Speaker 4: Just think I had done damage. I had dug a hole.
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: And so it really was like four years of injury
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: and not being able to race and always being frustrated,
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: and I just I just didn't want to live like
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: that anymore, you know. I mean that was like the
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: biggest emptis like I would be counting calories, like as
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: I'm eating, counting calories even.
• 42:00
  Speaker 4: It down, and I was just like, I don't want
• 42:03
  Speaker 4: to do this. Anymore.
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: There has to be more to life than me constantly
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: worrying about what the scale is going to say. There
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: has like I'm not even happy any of the time.
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: I'm always nervous about what I'm going to weigh tomorrow morning.
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: It just was like, I can't, I can't live like this.
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: It's just not worth it. So I think a supportive family.
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: My then husband was super supportive, and I think it
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: was like surrounding myself with people that were like, you
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: got to get healthy, Like you're talented, it'll come back,
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: but you have to get healthy and not they weren't
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: shaming me. I mean, minus the fucking Dodo comment. They
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: weren't shaming me. It was like kindness, like you can
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: be who you used to be and be healthy. And
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: so again, I feel lucky that I had the family
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: that I have and the husband that I have, because
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: it would have been really easy to walk away from
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: running at that point.
• 42:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I mean, this is a really easy segue
• 42:53
  Speaker 3: for us to talk about the campaign that you're just
• 42:56
  Speaker 3: both a part of for Ultra sharing our experiences in
• 43:00
  Speaker 3: our own unique runners' bodies, and you're saying that this
• 43:04
  Speaker 3: is a broad problem for female athletes in college.
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: But I mean, this is a problem for women everywhere. Right.
• 43:11
  Speaker 3: You mentioned social media and how that can just rub
• 43:16
  Speaker 3: in our faces quote unquote what perfection is based on
• 43:21
  Speaker 3: whoever's definition, and it can just be so overwhelming.
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: I am a size six eight.
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: Depending on the day, and I go to the track
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: and more often than not, I feel, as a size six'
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: eight That i'm the biggest person at the. Track that
• 43:39
  Speaker 3: shouldn't Be how that shouldn't be the first thing THAT
• 43:42
  Speaker 3: i think about WHEN i step onto the track.
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: PERIOD i, know but that's so. RELATABLE i mean that
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: was my entire elite. Career i'm five. EIGHT i, weighed you,
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: know one point thirty most of the. TIME i get
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: down to the mid one. Twenties right before a big,
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: RACE i was outweighing my competitors by twenty to thirty. Pounds,
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: crazy and so my mom would always, SAY i love
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: it BECAUSE i can always pick you, out you.
• 44:04
  Speaker 4: Know but LIKE i, was, LIKE i don't look like.
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: That AND i know when some people hear, this they,
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: think what the hell are you talking? About you are
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: thin AND i am, Thin but it's always that comparison.
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: Game AND i wasn't as thin as my, competitors even
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: as an elite, athlete even THOUGH i was crazy. Thin
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: but you know WHAT i, Mean it's like it's all in.
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: Context and, yeah like even After i'd made the choice
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: THAT i was going to be, healthy it still would
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: be an. ISSUE i, MEAN i would have coaches be, like,
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: oh you're from The, midwest that's why you're so. HEARTY i,
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: mean this is When i'm an elite athlete Making olympic,
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: teams and these are not my, coaches just other, coaches
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: and so it it's so hard to remind yourself LIKE i.
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: CAN'T i have to be, strong LIKE i. WILL i
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: will lose all the things that make me a good.
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: Runner IF i lose that next five, POUNDS i will
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: lose all my, Power i'll lose all my, STRENGTH i
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: won't be able to kick. Anymore all the things that
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: make me Special i'll lose IF i lose five more.
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: Pounds but you're just inundated with like everyone's abs and
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: everyone's arms and everyone's, calves and it's so. HARD i
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: really really worry about the next generation because everything is so.
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: Public and not only is it public with where you
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: see all these, photos but people can make comments and
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: comments are so triggering for.
• 45:21
  Speaker 4: Us, yeah it's just it's so.
• 45:23
  Speaker 3: Tough it is, tough and you, know it's so interesting you,
• 45:26
  Speaker 3: saying you, know being one way and then dropping a
• 45:28
  Speaker 3: little bit before the. Race AND i think that me
• 45:32
  Speaker 3: as well relating to that. Sentiment thinking even as recently
• 45:36
  Speaker 3: as going into the Last New York, marathon LIKE i
• 45:38
  Speaker 3: Ran New york last year AND i didn't have the best,
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: day AND i thought about WHAT i was doing in
• 45:43
  Speaker 3: the week's leading up to that, race and in the
• 45:45
  Speaker 3: weeks leading up to that, RACE i was arguably, Underfueling
• 45:49
  Speaker 3: LIKE i was.
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: Thinking about quote unquote putting good things into my.
• 45:52
  Speaker 3: Body but in that PROCESS i showed up and by
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: mile eight of the, MARATHON i was completely. Depleted and
• 46:01
  Speaker 3: you get to these moments WHERE i felt like you
• 46:03
  Speaker 3: did in that interview after twenty Sixteen.
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: Trials it was, like in that, MOMENT.
• 46:08
  Speaker 3: I didn't put my best foot forward BECAUSE i wasn't
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: prioritizing WHAT i should have been. PRIORITIZING i should have
• 46:13
  Speaker 3: eaten all THE i, mean maybe not all the, croissants
• 46:15
  Speaker 3: BUT i should have eaten the, croissants AND i should
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: have done all these. Things BUT i was so worried
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: about a few pounds that didn't. Matter, yeah WHEN i
• 46:22
  Speaker 3: think about like this campaign and like what it is
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: that we are coming together to, say it's just like
• 46:27
  Speaker 3: celebrating the fact that, literally if you have a, body
• 46:31
  Speaker 3: you're a. Runner but if you have a body that
• 46:33
  Speaker 3: you have worth.
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: Period, yes it's SO i mean there's a few PEOPLE
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: i follow in social who are so awesome with, this
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: like the are this is my. Body i'm proud of my.
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: Body it is what it, is you, Know i'm not
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: going to change it for your. Standards the truth of
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: the matter is that any of us that get out
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: there and move our, body we are in the. Community
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: we can relate to each. Other AND i, think like
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: that's the thing with social media that's so dangerous because
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: we're really just seeing one percent of our community on
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: social media and by the, way they're Chasing olympic. DREAMS
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: i get, it you, know but it makes a lot
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: of the rest of us feel, like, WELL i don't
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: look like, that AND i can't run that, FASTER i
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: can't run that, far or and it makes you feel
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: like you're less, worthy which is like so.
• 47:17
  Speaker 4: Sad, yeah like that.
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: You don't have worth because you can't run a marathon
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: or you weigh over two hundred pounds or whatever it,
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: is instead of, saying, LIKE i look, different BUT i
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: love running and we're almost, together you.
• 47:29
  Speaker 3: Know, yeah with everything that you are navigating now with your,
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: health how do you maintain or maybe you don't and
• 47:37
  Speaker 3: we can talk about, that but a level of grace
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: and kindness with yourself because you can't move how you
• 47:45
  Speaker 3: would like.
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: To, YEAH i mean over the last, YEAR i have
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: put on, weight if we're being, honest AND i, IT
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: i don't love. It like here's the thing, IS i
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: know that shaming my body and all this stuff is,
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: wrong but it is so hard to get rid of
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: those voices. Forever LIKE i don't Think i'll ever fully
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: get rid of those.
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: Voices like, HUMAN i, mean that's my.
• 48:07
  Speaker 3: Perspective like to each their own, right like to each
• 48:10
  Speaker 3: the like all the power to someone who truly believes
• 48:14
  Speaker 3: genuinely in their soul that like they are the second
• 48:18
  Speaker 3: coming of like who knows. What Like i'm so proud
• 48:21
  Speaker 3: of you that you are in that place a body
• 48:23
  Speaker 3: acceptance and. Gratitude but body acceptance doesn't mean that you
• 48:28
  Speaker 3: don't have days where you stand in front of the
• 48:29
  Speaker 3: mirror and you're, like, wow my thighs look really stellar,
• 48:32
  Speaker 3: today like being. Sarcastic like body acceptance is knowing that
• 48:35
  Speaker 3: you can have that, day but you still have gratitude
• 48:37
  Speaker 3: for what your body can do.
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: Right and you still give yourself permission to enjoy the
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: dinner with your. Family AND, i, YEAH i just think,
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: like ugh it it. WILL i do get frustrated BECAUSE
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: i feel Like i'm forty three AND i shouldn't be
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: worrying about this stuff. Anymore but it's just. True it's
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: been ingrained in me that somehow my body has to
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: look a certain. Way SO i have games some way
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: over the last. Year but the most important thing for
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: me Is i'm addicted to. Movement so If i'm having
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: a bad day AND i can't, RUN i still have
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: to do. Something i'm not, Like i'm not the kind
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: Of i'll take a day off here and. There of
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: Course i'm not like totally, insane But i'm, Like, Okay
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: i'm having a bad day and now it's a second bad,
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: Day LIKE i have to do. Something SO i got
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: really into The Kura stokes fit app AND i still use,
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: it BUT i was doing all sorts of, stuff LIKE
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: i would scroll Through instagram and like like search and
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: THEN i would like say workouts that people were showing
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: just BECAUSE i need to move my body and in
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: some like in some, WAYS i feel Like i'm stronger
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: in different, Ways like my upper body is definitely way
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: stronger than it was a year.
• 49:37
  Speaker 4: Ago but you, know.
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: It's it's always like a, battle LIKE i want to
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: run more because that's What i'm used to, doing BUT i.
• 49:45
  Speaker 4: Can't NOW i have to do this other.
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: Thing but Now i'm starting To i'm starting to appreciate
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: the other things that my body can.
• 49:51
  Speaker 3: Do, yeah when you it's so funny that you said
• 49:54
  Speaker 3: The Kia stokes. App Kia stokes is a, hurdler been
• 49:57
  Speaker 3: on the, show And, god no wonder why your upper
• 49:59
  Speaker 3: body is stronger now because that.
• 50:02
  Speaker 5: Woman, seriously the first TIME i did one of her,
• 50:05
  Speaker 5: WORKOUTS i was like everything hurt for like, days but
• 50:09
  Speaker 5: it was glorious because it was, like, wow that was
• 50:11
  Speaker 5: only twenty minutes and obviously it did something in my
• 50:13
  Speaker 5: body that has never been done.
• 50:15
  Speaker 4: Before so it was like this weird high to be
• 50:18
  Speaker 4: sore like a.
• 50:19
  Speaker 3: Runner who's like used to being out there for like you,
• 50:22
  Speaker 3: know three hours at a, time and here you are
• 50:24
  Speaker 3: like working out in twenty minutes.
• 50:26
  Speaker 4: Minutes and my arm is like giving out underneath, me.
• 50:28
  Speaker 2: Reclaiming all of this time for.
• 50:30
  Speaker 3: YOURSELF i mean that's something else, though, Right LIKE i,
• 50:32
  Speaker 3: mean we made this reference before about finding the silver
• 50:35
  Speaker 3: lining of falling back from professional running and being able
• 50:38
  Speaker 3: to spend more time with your.
• 50:39
  Speaker 2: Family would you say.
• 50:40
  Speaker 3: That over you, know the last ten to fourteen months
• 50:44
  Speaker 3: of navigating this unforeseen health. Crisis is that something else
• 50:48
  Speaker 3: that you're finding a lot of gratitude in these?
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: Days?
• 50:50
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: ABSOLUTELY I we actually bought a little house In, minnesota
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: right by my, mom in the same city that my
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: sister lives in as.
• 50:57
  Speaker 4: Well and you, KNOW I i you go through stages in.
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: LIFE i, think my grandpa died and then my grandma
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: died last, year AND i really think about life is.
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: Short you, know my, Dad i'm older than my dad.
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: Was i've outlived my dad by nine years, already AND
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: i think about like how short life can, be AND
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: i think about what really, Matters and so for, me
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: WHEN i think of, HAPPINESS i think of writing the
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: tractor with my grandparents and jumping in the lake off the,
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: rock and so Then i'm, LIKE i need to prioritize.
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: That AND i know That i'm in a fortunate situation
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: financially WHERE i can do, that BUT i do think
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: we can all do that to a certain. Extent Like
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: i'm still going to work, Hard i'm still going to
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: get my jobs, Done i'm still going to deliver on
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: WHAT i need to deliver. On BUT i also give
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: me myself permission to enjoy the small things that really
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: make me. Happy and So i've spent so much more
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: time with my family over the last, year last two, years,
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: really and it makes me so. Happy it makes me feel,
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: fulfilled and it makes me feel Like i'm spending time
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: doing something that is making my heart. Full And i've
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: like just started to shift to that's the most important,
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: thing is like being, present being, happy experiencing. Happiness you,
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: know like the memories of all of that is what carries.
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: Me it's not, stuff, yeah you, know it's like the
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: memories and the.
• 52:17
  Speaker 3: Experiences to pivot back to where we were for just
• 52:20
  Speaker 3: a second when we were talking about our discussion about
• 52:23
  Speaker 3: navigating what is your quote unquote new body over the
• 52:27
  Speaker 3: last couple of years for? You when that conversation does
• 52:32
  Speaker 3: shift a little bit negative or does skew a little bit?
• 52:35
  Speaker 3: Negative where do your thoughts go to kind of bring
• 52:38
  Speaker 3: it back full circle and kind of reel yourself.
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: In, Yeah LIKE i, MEAN i had to melt down
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: the other day because my son was willing to run
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: with me AND i couldn't do.
• 52:48
  Speaker 4: IT i was having a bad.
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: Day and Then i'm like spiral lying And i'm like
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: this is going to ruin my, life and you, know
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: but THEN i just have to take a deep breath and, say,
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: HEY i haven't lost everything the things that really matter
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: to me. HERE i have a great team of people
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: who are helping. Me they're going to help me get
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: back to as much AS i. Can and you know
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: what's more important like running two miles of cult or
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: just like really being there for him in life all the.
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: Time and So i'm always trying to Like i'm always
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: trying to be grateful and not to the point where
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: it's like, Annoying Like i'm like, yay and LIKE i have.
• 53:23
  Speaker 4: This fool hous. ER i have a great. CAR i
• 53:25
  Speaker 4: have new running.
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: Shoes you, know it's not not like, that but like
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: the big, Things, HEY i have a loving supportive husband
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: Who i've. Had i've been married to him for twenty,
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: years AND i am so proud of our. MARRIAGE i
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: have a son who works so hard and has taught
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: me so many THINGS i, have you know WHAT i,
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: mean just like focusing on the things that really really
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: matter in.
• 53:44
  Speaker 3: Life, Yeah AND i even do think that some of,
• 53:47
  Speaker 3: those like little things like having new running. SHOES i
• 53:50
  Speaker 3: mean every morning WHEN i, journal at the end of
• 53:52
  Speaker 3: the page AND i just like try to stick it
• 53:54
  Speaker 3: out for one page every, morning even When i'm like
• 53:56
  Speaker 3: what's going on in the, World but at the end
• 53:58
  Speaker 3: of the, page all, right one, highlight one gratitude for
• 54:02
  Speaker 3: the last twenty four. Hours and sometimes it can be
• 54:04
  Speaker 3: something as simple as LIKE i got some really great
• 54:07
  Speaker 3: new trail shoes, Yesterday LIKE i got the like not,
• 54:10
  Speaker 3: SPONSORED i got The Ultramont, blancs And i'm like obsessed with.
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: Them i've been.
• 54:15
  Speaker 3: Running i've been going To Prospect park and like running
• 54:18
  Speaker 3: on the dirt trails Because i'm, like, oh these are
• 54:20
  Speaker 3: a great pair of new. Sneakers but those little gratitudes
• 54:23
  Speaker 3: they can really add up to something very.
• 54:25
  Speaker 4: Big they do add.
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: UP i think it's easy to SAY i can't run
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: the WAY i. Want i'm losing WHAT i. Want i'm
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: never gonna be able to do. This i'm never going
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: to be able to do that fifty mile. HER i
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: wanted to do, spiral, spiral. Spiral there's there's war going,
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: on you, know it's easy to like spiral out of
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: control and so and it's. Okay the other thing is
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: it's okay to have a bad, Day like it's okay
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: to be. Sad like my mom did teach me, that
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: like WHEN i wouldn't Like i'd try so hard to win,
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: SOMETHING i wouldn't win, it and she'd be, like be
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: sad for a, day cry it, out do what you
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: need to, do and then tomorrow wake up and set
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: like a new. Goal SO i don't think that it's
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: like you can't have a bad, day but it's taking
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: a step back and saying, Like, Okay i'm having a bad.
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: Day but just like you, SAID i, MEAN i love
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: some new fresh. Kicks don't get me. Wrong i'm like
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: open smell AND i get soaker. Excited, yeah the smell
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: is so LIKE i will be in my nineties sniffing
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: shoes out of a. Box but it's like it's, okay
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: it's just trying to focus back on. Positive AND i
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: think that's as an elite athlete how it. Was you,
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: Know i'd be racing And i'd start to get overwhelmed
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: And i'd be, Like i'm. Tired they look better than,
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: Me and Then i'd always try to focus on one
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: thing that was telling, me, Like, cary you're doing this,
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: Right like you're breathing is still.
• 55:33
  Speaker 4: Controlled you're still in.
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: This and so that applies to, life you, know like
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: always finding the positive and it's around.
• 55:41
  Speaker 4: You it really, is even if it's just some new, shoes.
• 55:44
  Speaker 2: Even if it's just some new.
• 55:46
  Speaker 3: Shoes you, know we have touched on a lot of
• 55:48
  Speaker 3: like difficult moments over our chat, here BUT i would love,
• 55:52
  Speaker 3: to as we reflect on positives and, gratitude circle back
• 55:57
  Speaker 3: and perhaps if you could, share maybe what have been
• 56:00
  Speaker 3: some of the most joyous moments for you in your.
• 56:03
  Speaker 2: Career that's a great.
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: QUESTION i think my family all came out to the
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: twenty Sixteen Olympic, trials and even though it didn't go
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: how we had, hoped it meant so much to me
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: that everyone, came and even my high school teammates. Came
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: even though the race didn't go HOW i had. DREAMED
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: i felt so much. Support SO i actually look back
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: at the twenty sixteen trials as like it's always gonna,
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: hurt but it also reminds me of like that people
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: love me no matter, what you know WHAT i. Mean
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: WHEN i made The olympic team in twenty, twelve my
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: tune up race was in my hometown of The, Bluth,
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: minnesota and that's probably the best most Fun i've ever
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: had in a, race you. KNOW i mean it was like,
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: crazy like people were yelling things like we were in
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: biology together and your son AND i you, know your
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: son or my son was with you in math or.
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: Whatever but it was just so, fun and like my
• 56:55
  Speaker 1: grandparents were at the finish, line my high school coaches
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: at the finish, line and it just felt, like, YEAH
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: i had moved, away AND i had traveled around the,
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: world but at the end of the, day LIKE i
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: just was so happy to be home.
• 57:06
  Speaker 4: There.
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah SO i think that's probably my favorite race memory
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: THAT i. Have And colt was born, then so even
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: he was like wearing his little umb bulldog you, know hockey,
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: jersey and it just felt so great to run and
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: perform well in front of. People who've had my back
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: SINCE i was.
• 57:25
  Speaker 3: TWELVE i mean it goes back to what your high
• 57:27
  Speaker 3: school coach was saying and something that at times totally
• 57:30
  Speaker 3: got lost along the way because of getting caught up
• 57:33
  Speaker 3: in all of the craziness that goes hand in hand
• 57:36
  Speaker 3: with being at this elite. Level it was about having
• 57:38
  Speaker 3: fun and when you found the fun, again you.
• 57:42
  Speaker 2: Were able to perform even.
• 57:44
  Speaker 4: Better.
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah and you, know like WHEN i look back at my,
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: CAREER i think when WAS i as an elite?
• 57:48
  Speaker 4: ATHLETE i think when WAS i the?
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: Happiest AND i was the happiest training for the twenty
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: Sixteen Olympic. Trials that is the happiest time of my
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: life as an elite Ath Why mark What more And
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: Heather boroughs that coaches AT SeeU brought me. In they
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: believed in, Me my family believed in. ME i WAS
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: i didn't have any performance clauses and contracts. ANYMORE i
• 58:11
  Speaker 1: didn't have any race you know. REQUIREMENTS i was doing
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: it for. ME i was thirty, seven AND i was
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: getting to do it BECAUSE i loved, it and so
• 58:22
  Speaker 1: many people invested in it with me and, said you,
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: know we're going to take this ride with, You LIKE
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: i could start crying WHEN i think About mark And,
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: heather my, coaches and how MUCH i mean they would
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: shovel the track for. Me they KNOW i hate running on.
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: ICE i would warm up and meet them somewhere And
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: mark would be, like, ooh there's a little ice over.
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: There we'll come back and meet you in two. Hours
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: go home and take a quick. Nap like they were
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: just so, invested AND i felt LIKE i was doing
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: it for all of the right. REASONS i felt LIKE
• 58:50
  Speaker 1: i had found my way back to WHY i was doing,
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: it and LIKE i, said even though it didn't end
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: the WAY i, wanted.
• 58:55
  Speaker 4: That's, like WHEN i look, back that's the HAPPIEST i
• 58:58
  Speaker 4: ever was.
• 58:58
  Speaker 3: Training you never, forget AND i mean it sounds, cliche
• 59:02
  Speaker 3: but you never forget how people make you feel and
• 59:04
  Speaker 3: if you feel or felt during that time supported and
• 59:08
  Speaker 3: valued and important and like part of a. Team like
• 59:13
  Speaker 3: that's something that no one will ever be able to
• 59:15
  Speaker 3: take away from, you whether or not you went to
• 59:18
  Speaker 3: The olympics or.
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: Not, Yeah i'm, SO i, like really look back at
• 59:23
  Speaker 1: that AND i usually get, emotional BUT i THINK i
• 59:25
  Speaker 1: already cried About Papa's so it was such a happy.
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: Time and even after the, race you, KNOW i finished
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: fourth AND i didn't make, it AND i was, Like
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: i'm so sorry to, them and they were, like, no we're,
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: sorry we are. Sorry we know how hard you worked
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: and maybe we dropped the. Ball and it was just
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: such a different experience THAN i had ever had as
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: an elite, athlete WHERE i really felt like we were
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: all truly a. Team, yeah and they were going to
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: take ownership in the mistakes that we made or didn't,
• 59:52
  Speaker 1: make you, know like it just felt, LIKE i don't,
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: KNOW i was just so happy during that.
• 59:56
  Speaker 4: TIME i was so fulfilled during that.
• 59:58
  Speaker 2: Time what are you excited about right? Now?
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 4: Jeez going To? Hawaii, yes going To.
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: HAWAII i think my work With, Wazel i've like shifted
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 1: from athlete to a more advisory role and you, know
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: looking at athletes right now and who might fit in with,
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 1: us and then other projects we could be. Doing So
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: i'm super excited About wazel BECAUSE i feel like my
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: opinion really matters. THERE i feel Like i'm taken seriously.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 1: There i'm really excited about my relationship With ultra and
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: all the things that they're. DOING i feel like they're
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: really growing as far as like knowing who they are
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: and expanding to The, roads which is exciting to me
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: because OBVIOUSLY i love The. Roads And i'm, Like i'm
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: hoping THAT i get to work FOR nbc again this,
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: summer so we'll. See But i'm excited about more opportunities
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: to work in the, commentation like being a, commentator And
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: i'm super excited About boston BECAUSE i got that. Job
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 1: and the men's race is going to be. Amazing this
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: is not just like the men but the women's race is.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: INSANE i mean literally every Good american marathon female marathon
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: will be there except for The american record, holder WHICH
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 1: i know is a big, loss but like everybody else
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: will be, there And i'm super excited to see when
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: we don't avoid racing each, other what will.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 2: Happen why are you like throwing off the.
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: GAME i mean she's you, know she's allowed to like
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 1: recover and build back. UP i mean she did run two,
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: nineteen SO i guess we'll.
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 3: Ever kira is my New kira was on the show
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 3: recently and she was the one who said this that
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 3: we are now BFFs for life and we have uppending
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 3: cookie eating tour Of New, york which you are more
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 3: than welcome to come join us on BUT i will
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 3: send her this clip And, kira you need to know
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 3: That kara AND i are going to miss you In.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 4: Boston, oh she will be missed for.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: SURE i keep thinking, like, oh maybe she'll come in last,
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: minute BUT i think that she's probably being smart and
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: recovering from an amazing effort and thinking about what's. Next
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: i'm super excited about that. RACE i just feel like
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: it's gonna be super. Exciting AND i feel like in twenty,
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: eighteen when des one was that twenty eighteen or twenty,
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 1: seventeen it was twenty, eighteen twenty. Eighteen that year we
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: had a ton of Good american. Women like WHEN i was,
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: racing we didn't really race each, other Like i'll go To,
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: london you go To, Boston i'll go To New, york
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: you go To. Chicago it was just like we didn't
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 1: really meet head to. Head and in twenty, eighteen that
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: was an incredibly Deep american field and dos one and
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: SO i feel LIKE i feel like it could.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 2: HAPPEN i think it's gonna happen. Again board.
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 3: DOES i don't want us to lose out on her
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 3: her big glout and glory moment from that.
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 6: Time, YEAH i, know but you know, what that will
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 6: always be the most Epic boston win. EVER i mean
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 6: the fact that she like the, conditions the fact that
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 6: she had resigned herself to help, others and then she was, like,
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 6: WAIT i feel better than everybody.
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 1: ELSE i, mean it was like so, Epic LIKE i
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: could not believe it was. HAPPENING i was like screaming
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: at THE.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 4: Tv crime and that can never be taken away.
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 2: From, her, never absolutely.
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 3: Never, Well i'm excited for our not yet, confirmed but
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 3: one hundred percent Happening Boston marathon, cheerstation which you AND
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 3: i will both be you AND i will both be. At,
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 3: yes it's going to be, great. Perfect, Okay so winding
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 3: down right. Now IF i was to go to Your instagram, Page,
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 3: CARAGUCHER i see a, runner a two Time, olympian someone
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 3: with almost like two hundred thousand people following. Her when
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 3: you look in the, mirror what is it that you
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 3: see looking back at?
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 4: You, oh that is a really really good. QUESTION i you,
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 4: Know i'm just like.
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: THIS i SOMETIMES i feel Like i'm just this small
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 1: town girl From, Duluth, minnesota and, like at some point
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: someone's going to, realize Like i'm not that cool AND
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 1: i don't know, everything and LIKE i do sometimes feel
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 1: that Like i'm just a small town.
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 4: Girl WHAT i don't. Know WHEN i look in the.
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: Mirror first of, ALL i see my mom Because i'm,
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: aging and it's crazy how MUCH i look like her.
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 1: Now BUT i just see someone who cares a. LOT i,
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 1: MEAN i, think, like if there's a legacy to be,
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 1: left WHAT i would want people to remember me by
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 1: is THAT i cared and THEN i tried to protect
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 1: other people AND i tried to fight for what was.
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: Right that's super important to me AND i and That
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: i'm a mother and a. Wife that's really important to me.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: Too but just THAT I i will you come to
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 1: me AND i will help, YOU i will fight for,
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: YOU i will be there for. You that's WHO i
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: want to, be and that's what most of the TIME i.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: See but SOMETIMES i just see like a really, tired
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 1: forty three year old.
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 4: Woman in the, mirror And i'm, like how DO i get?
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 4: HERE i used to be.
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 3: FUNNY i, mean, obviously over the course of the last,
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 3: hour there were so many things we could have gotten
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 3: into that we. Didn't one THING i do want to
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 3: just touch on very, quickly is your work with The
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 3: Clean Sport collective and you just started a new season
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 3: of the Podcast in, podcasting what would you say has
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 3: probably been one of your greatest gifts by diving into
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 3: that for, You.
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 1: Oh, WELL i Think i'm really shy so asking people
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 1: to come, On LIKE i was like when we Have
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 1: Alison felix, ON i was like, Shaking LIKE i was,
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 1: LIKE i just.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 4: Want to do her.
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: Justice BUT i think it's been good for, me like
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: to talk to other, people to get other, perspectives to
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: learn their, personalities and it's been really. FUN i was
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: definitely nervous for the first season that we, did but
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 1: now it's become more natural AND i think it's helped
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: me for like my work WITH nbc for, sure to
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: be able to just talk off the, cuff AND i
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 1: think this is how you are. TOO i do research
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 1: a lot before BECAUSE i don't want to like bring
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 1: someone on and say something disrespectful or be, like, oh
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: do you have any racists coming? Up and they're, like,
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah i'm racing, tomorrow you know WHAT i? Mean, LIKE
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 1: i don't want to.
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 4: Be don't you know that about?
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 1: Me, yeah it's like, Geez AND i MEAN i have
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: been on podcasts where people will ask me stuff And i'm,
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 1: like like a Simple google, search you'd know the answer to,
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 1: that you, know SO i, do And chris is really
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 1: good at that, too and just like researching and getting
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: ready and. Prepping BUT i don't, know it's been really,
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: fun and you, know we did take a break because
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: of my health, issues SO i just appreciate everyone sticking
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: around and re, listening and you, know we're hoping to
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 1: be more regular now that now That i'm like settled
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: in what's going on with, ME i can put more
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: time towards. THIS i love promoting clean. ATHLETES i love
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 1: giving people a. Voice that's SOMETHING i didn't necessarily feel
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 1: LIKE i had WHEN i was, competing and SO i
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 1: love being able to give them a. Voice and it's really,
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 1: fun it's really.
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 3: Reward how can people listening to this right now support
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 3: you as you continue on in your, journey especially as
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 3: you kind of like step into your own and like
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 3: re examine a little bit of your.
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 2: IDENTITY i would, say, YEAH.
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 1: I think JUST i feel like the running community is so.
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 1: Supportive like even the first TIME i did, COMMENTATING i
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 1: totally messed up folk on a hot, mic and people
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 1: were like so nice and excited about. It SO i
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 1: think just the empathy that we have for each, other
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: just continuing, that you, know you never know what someone's
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 1: going through and so and even with elite athletes if they're,
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 1: struggling like we don't really know everything about. Them so
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 1: always having grace with, others always leading with, empathy never
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 1: just assuming anything about. Anyone AND i feel Like i've
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 1: gotten a lot of that from this. Community but that's
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 1: WHAT i would love to just see. Continue you, know
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 1: like we can celebrate the, highs but sometimes you're on a.
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 1: Loane people don't necessarily, know so just treat people with
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 1: grace because you just don't know what other people are going.
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 3: THROUGH i love those. SENTIMENTS i love. Them, okay final,
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 3: Question Cara. Gaucher right, now you have the opportunity to
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 3: give yourself a piece of. Advice let's, say looking back
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 3: at twenty, SIXTEEN i think that you were like really
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 3: hopeful to like kind of cherry on The sunday for
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 3: your career and that and it was a really hard
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 3: moment for you to pick yourself up. From so what
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 3: advice looking back on that, moment do you offer yourself?
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 2: Now you?
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 1: KNOW i would just, say BECAUSE i know what. HAPPENED
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 1: i spiraled into depression for a, while AND i THINK
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 1: i would just, say you, know did you do everything you?
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 1: Could you, did and your son got to see his
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 1: mom do everything she could for her. Dream and a
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: Third olympic team wouldn't have made you more valuable as a.
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 1: Human yours value stayed the, same and so although it,
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 1: hurts AND i know it, hurts it doesn't change anything
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: about who you are and what you have to. OFFER
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: i THINK i would tell her. That she'd probably tell
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 1: me that's not. True but, anyway that's What it's good.
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 1: Advice it's good.
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 3: Advice you have value as you are, Always, Kara i'm
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 3: so excited that we were able to make this. Happen
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 3: how do the hurdlers follow along with? You how do
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 3: they keep up with? You give us all your?
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 1: Details, Okay SO i used to be a lot more On,
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 1: twitter but THEN i feel Like twitter's become, accessible So
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 1: i'm on. There it's at care, goucher BUT i don't
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 1: post that. OFTEN i post a lot On. Instagram that's
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 1: probably my. Favorite it is a mix of like business
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 1: and running and you, know my animals and my, child
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 1: so it's kind of all over the, place BUT i
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 1: feel like it's probably the most authentic. Me and then you,
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 1: know Hopefully i'll be out at races And i'll be
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 1: able to see, people and you, know we're moving forward
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 1: from this pandemic and we're getting more one on one
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 1: interaction AND i look forward to all, that AND i
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 1: look forward to just seeing people out in the out
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 1: in the, wild.
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 2: Out in the.
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 3: Wild, WELL i will be in the background of all
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 3: of your live shots At boston.
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 4: For a.
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 3: While i'm over At Emily abodi and At Hurdle Podcast
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 3: Another Hurdle.
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 2: Conquered catch you guys next.
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 4: Time he