Latest / The Bob Lefsetz Podcast / Rob Thomas
Transcript
- 0:08Speaker 1: Welcome, Welcome, Welcome back to Bob West's podcast. My guest
- 0:13Speaker 1: today is one and only Rob top Rob. You're wearing
- 0:17Speaker 1: a Bob Dylan T shirt. You're a big Dylan fan.
- 0:21Speaker 2: Uh yeah, of course. Man, if you're a songwriter and
- 0:23Speaker 2: you're not, then you've missed something along the way.
- 0:27Speaker 1: So what are your favorite Dylan songs?
- 0:31Speaker 2: You know, besides I think obviously you know, like Blowing
- 0:37Speaker 2: in the Wind or that kind of seminal first period,
- 0:41Speaker 2: you know, Like I was really really got into the
- 0:45Speaker 2: Times of Change record, you know, like the Yeah, I
- 0:48Speaker 2: thought that there was a really great return to form.
- 0:51Speaker 2: I thought it was just it was it was kind
- 0:52Speaker 2: of unique for me to like find something that you know,
- 0:56Speaker 2: like I don't when you stumble on something new, you
- 0:59Speaker 2: stumble on something and when you have something that you
- 1:01Speaker 2: grew up with, you kind of always just love the
- 1:03Speaker 2: things that you loved about them to begin with, you know.
- 1:06Speaker 2: But I find that there was certain artist Springsteen being
- 1:08Speaker 2: one of those, like when he went on that unbelievably
- 1:10Speaker 2: prolific tear you know, after nine to eleven from the
- 1:13Speaker 2: Rising on, like, you know, it's kind of great when
- 1:15Speaker 2: you when you see that happen and you realize that
- 1:18Speaker 2: you're just as excited about the new stuff as you
- 1:19Speaker 2: were about some of the older stuff. Now I've seen
- 1:22Speaker 2: him live and it's not my favorite thing in the world.
- 1:25Speaker 1: I got all said, I'm the same way, so uh,
- 1:30Speaker 1: I won't go anymore. But uh okay, believe it at that.
- 1:35Speaker 1: So do you keep up on new music?
- 1:39Speaker 2: Not in the way that I used to. I mean,
- 1:41Speaker 2: I it's easy to blame the medium, but I think,
- 1:44Speaker 2: you know, like I do a song of the day
- 1:45Speaker 2: every day, and so in a way that that tasked
- 1:48Speaker 2: me to every day search on Spotify and listen till
- 1:51Speaker 2: I find something either that you know or I mean,
- 1:54Speaker 2: I try and do it, like if I'm driving in
- 1:55Speaker 2: the car and something excites me and make a note
- 1:59Speaker 2: for that to be my song of the day. But
- 2:01Speaker 2: I don't. I mean, I can't remember the last time
- 2:03Speaker 2: that I got excited about a brand new album and
- 2:05Speaker 2: wore that record out like I used to do, you
- 2:08Speaker 2: know where I like, actually listen to something, seek out
- 2:13Speaker 2: the record and play it from beginning to end, over
- 2:15Speaker 2: and over and over. I think I've just become a
- 2:18Speaker 2: victim to streaming, and I've become a victim to song
- 2:22Speaker 2: by song by song. You know, I now like my
- 2:24Speaker 2: music like I like my people. It's just on a
- 2:26Speaker 2: case by case, song by song base.
- 2:29Speaker 1: So how do you get turned on to new stuff?
- 2:34Speaker 2: Well, you know, it's not as important to me, I guess,
- 2:36Speaker 2: to get turned on the new stuff, I think. I
- 2:38Speaker 2: just you know, I'm a big fan of film, a
- 2:41Speaker 2: big fan of television. I think that placement now has
- 2:45Speaker 2: been better than it's ever been before. So I know
- 2:47Speaker 2: that I find a lot of music that I love
- 2:49Speaker 2: through film and through television. It just just in different,
- 2:53Speaker 2: you know, in sync situations like the amount of times
- 2:55Speaker 2: and my wife and I are sitting on the couch
- 2:57Speaker 2: watching something and then we hold up our with a
- 3:00Speaker 2: SoundHound and we both do it at the same time. Like,
- 3:02Speaker 2: but what is that that happened? That happens quite a bit,
- 3:05Speaker 2: I think, you know, as you I've read an article
- 3:09Speaker 2: somewhere that said that, you know, and I don't know
- 3:11Speaker 2: if it was like thirty or forty, but there's a
- 3:13Speaker 2: certain point in your getting older where you stop like
- 3:19Speaker 2: really taking in new things in that you know, like
- 3:22Speaker 2: you there's a certain point where culturally you like what
- 3:25Speaker 2: you liked up until this point, and that's the kind
- 3:27Speaker 2: of thing that always really excites you, and not that
- 3:29Speaker 2: a couple of them don't get in, but it I
- 3:31Speaker 2: don't retain it in that way, Like like I remember
- 3:34Speaker 2: there's a band called The Beaches, and I keep forgetting
- 3:36Speaker 2: like until I see them, and I'm like, oh, that's right,
- 3:38Speaker 2: I love the Beaches. I need to go check out
- 3:39Speaker 2: that record. And I never fucking check out that record.
- 3:41Speaker 2: I just keep telling them my isealf, Oh I got
- 3:43Speaker 2: to go check out that record. But I probably know
- 3:44Speaker 2: like four songs, but I'm like, oh, I'm a fan
- 3:47Speaker 2: of the Beaches, which means I'm a fan of those
- 3:50Speaker 2: four songs.
- 3:51Speaker 1: Okay, But you know the difference, it's very different when
- 3:54Speaker 1: you were coming up and you had your initial success.
- 3:57Speaker 1: Today there's a tsunami of prout, like it's almost you know,
- 4:01Speaker 1: every day there's one hundred thousand tracks on Spotify, And
- 4:05Speaker 1: I know the bit you're talking about age, but it's
- 4:07Speaker 1: like incomprehensible. But let's go back a step. So what
- 4:12Speaker 1: streaming television do you watch?
- 4:15Speaker 2: Oh, I mean it's purely script scripted drama, comedy. You know,
- 4:23Speaker 2: Like I'm just a huge fan of pretty much any
- 4:24Speaker 2: new thing that comes out my wife and I are,
- 4:28Speaker 2: you know, Like my favorite thing now is just when
- 4:30Speaker 2: she tells me that she doesn't want to watch something
- 4:32Speaker 2: because I'm running out of shit for myself to watch alone.
- 4:35Speaker 2: So like she doesn't like something, I'm like, oh, thank god,
- 4:37Speaker 2: I got something, you know, to watch when I'm working
- 4:39Speaker 2: out or something to watch when I'm alone. But I mean,
- 4:42Speaker 2: I'm a try I'll watch anything except for reality TV,
- 4:45Speaker 2: Like I can't do anything. Like I'm just not a
- 4:49Speaker 2: big fan of reality TV, And oddly I'm not really
- 4:53Speaker 2: all my friends are big fans of biopicks. I'm more
- 4:56Speaker 2: of a fan of like like retail you know, I
- 5:01Speaker 2: really appreciate those a lot more. But I'm not as
- 5:03Speaker 2: big a fan of documentaries as I used to be.
- 5:05Speaker 2: Not really sure why. I just find that when I
- 5:08Speaker 2: see them, I'm incredibly turned on by them, and I
- 5:10Speaker 2: really love them, But I just don't get myself motivated
- 5:14Speaker 2: to like sit down and go I've got two hours.
- 5:17Speaker 2: I want to watch this, you know. But then like
- 5:19Speaker 2: my wife and I watched that I forget the name
- 5:21Speaker 2: of it, but that that documentary about the volcano, you know,
- 5:23Speaker 2: the studio that was just under the volcano. And like
- 5:26Speaker 2: that brought back such a flood of memories because you know,
- 5:29Speaker 2: we were we came out of this era after that era,
- 5:33Speaker 2: you know, I mean they weren't throwing that much money,
- 5:35Speaker 2: but they were still throwing money at us. So like
- 5:37Speaker 2: we could still make a record and that could mean
- 5:40Speaker 2: renting out the entire top floor of the Hit Factory
- 5:43Speaker 2: and some of the bottom floor and have like a
- 5:45Speaker 2: factory going just for your album, making that record and
- 5:48Speaker 2: you know, travel away somewhere to get away for an
- 5:50Speaker 2: experience to make a record, like and be able to
- 5:52Speaker 2: do that and not realizing that we might be one
- 5:55Speaker 2: of the last kind of musical generations that gets to
- 5:57Speaker 2: experience making music in that way. So when I saw that,
- 6:01Speaker 2: I was like, ah, maybe I don't like Maybe I
- 6:05Speaker 2: don't like seeing myself in these documentaries. You know, maybe
- 6:11Speaker 2: I maybe it's just too much longing. Sometimes I'm not
- 6:17Speaker 2: a competitive person, but I think creatively i'm competitive. So
- 6:20Speaker 2: I think sometimes I see somebody and they're just so
- 6:23Speaker 2: fucking talented that it just makes me feel immediately less. So,
- 6:27Speaker 2: you know, and so I think that sometimes I have
- 6:30Speaker 2: a hard time. I just kind of want to be
- 6:32Speaker 2: in my own lane doing my thing and be inspired
- 6:35Speaker 2: by somebody else's art.
- 6:38Speaker 1: Okay, there are other people you might feel inadequate relative to.
- 6:42Speaker 1: But how much of it is what you mentioned earlier,
- 6:45Speaker 1: that the business has changed and you don't get all
- 6:47Speaker 1: that money thrown it at you. And is it lamenting
- 6:50Speaker 1: those days or is it just when you see somebody
- 6:53Speaker 1: say they're fucking great?
- 6:55Speaker 2: Yeah? No, I mean, you know, I was really fortunate
- 6:58Speaker 2: in the career, especially at the very beginning, that really
- 7:02Speaker 2: bought me the ticket to be on the ride for
- 7:04Speaker 2: as long as I've been on it. But it's never
- 7:08Speaker 2: I mean, coming up, we were we were very very
- 7:11Speaker 2: careful about decisions that we made in things that we
- 7:13Speaker 2: wanted to do, and we've left a lot of money
- 7:16Speaker 2: on the table. It's never really been the deciding motivating factor.
- 7:20Speaker 2: I just when I hear a great like when I
- 7:23Speaker 2: hear a great song, I get I go through this
- 7:26Speaker 2: whole problem and my wife can see it happening in
- 7:28Speaker 2: my eyes and she's just like, ah, fuck, not again.
- 7:31Speaker 2: Like I'll go through a whole process and luckily it
- 7:33Speaker 2: usually ends with me creating something, but it starts with
- 7:37Speaker 2: this feeling of like how does he do that? Like
- 7:40Speaker 2: I'm still amazed at how I can listen to a
- 7:42Speaker 2: new song and when I break it down, eventually I
- 7:47Speaker 2: see it. I see it. I see there's a verse,
- 7:48Speaker 2: and I see there's a chorus, and I know the chords,
- 7:50Speaker 2: and I see the makeup of it. And it's not magic.
- 7:54Speaker 2: But I love the fact that when I first hear it,
- 7:56Speaker 2: it sounds like voodoo. It sounds like something that I
- 7:58Speaker 2: don't know, and it's realize it's because I understand the
- 8:01Speaker 2: mechanics of something very very well, but still didn't see
- 8:04Speaker 2: how they got there. It's like if I were a
- 8:06Speaker 2: magician going to see a really great magician and still
- 8:10Speaker 2: getting fooled by the trick. And that's what it feels
- 8:13Speaker 2: like sometimes when I hear something and I just go, oh,
- 8:16Speaker 2: I've never been a good magician. I'm still fucking pulling
- 8:18Speaker 2: rabbits out of a hat over here, you know, I'm
- 8:20Speaker 2: still doing my verse in my chorus, and they're doing
- 8:23Speaker 2: something amazing over here. You know.
- 8:25Speaker 1: Can you give us any concrete examples of songs?
- 8:30Speaker 2: I mean, that's probably not. I mean, I'm the worst.
- 8:33Speaker 2: I feel like I feel like Nick Hornby and in
- 8:38Speaker 2: a high fidelity where like I'm tasked to put down
- 8:40Speaker 2: the top five list, and it never, like nothing ever
- 8:42Speaker 2: comes to mind as soon as you know, as soon
- 8:43Speaker 2: as I.
- 8:44Speaker 1: Hate that too, but it's just you know, you hear
- 8:47Speaker 1: certain songs sometimes that as a memory. Okay, So if
- 8:50Speaker 1: you're not watching biopics or you're watching series, or you're
- 8:53Speaker 1: watching movies.
- 8:55Speaker 2: I'm watching both. I don't know. I think we've all
- 8:59Speaker 2: we all got to a certain place where it feels
- 9:02Speaker 2: like a momentous task to sit down and watch an
- 9:05Speaker 2: hour and a half or two hour film, but we'll
- 9:07Speaker 2: stream four hours of five hours of something without thinking
- 9:10Speaker 2: twice about it. Like I I've actually caught myself now
- 9:14Speaker 2: on the other side of it, like watching a movie
- 9:16Speaker 2: and going, you know, that movie was pretty good, but
- 9:18Speaker 2: it would have been better if it had been a series,
- 9:20Speaker 2: Like they really could have got in there, they really
- 9:22Speaker 2: could have dug into it. So like I'm and I'm
- 9:26Speaker 2: still I'm so it's there's so much that I've got
- 9:29Speaker 2: a sticky note that my wife and I refer to
- 9:31Speaker 2: of like Okay, let's see where we're at, Like what
- 9:33Speaker 2: you know, what are we watching right now? Like I
- 9:35Speaker 2: think right now it's all about dark matter on HBO,
- 9:40Speaker 2: which is on Max I guess, which is fucking phenomenal.
- 9:44Speaker 2: And uh, but then we just went through and just
- 9:47Speaker 2: went back were watching all of the Star Wars movies again,
- 9:50Speaker 2: like or at least the main nine, right, And because
- 9:54Speaker 2: my wife was so down on the prequels for so long,
- 9:57Speaker 2: and I keep trying to explain to her that maybe
- 9:59Speaker 2: there's shit, there's an argument to be had about the
- 10:02Speaker 2: actual movies themselves, and are they overseegied and underacted or
- 10:07Speaker 2: overacted maybe, but the story is so similar to everything
- 10:11Speaker 2: else that comes after it that going back now watching
- 10:15Speaker 2: those prequels, like, she got emotional at the end of it,
- 10:17Speaker 2: because these are characters that are part of our life,
- 10:20Speaker 2: you know, and so that's been a fun thing for
- 10:23Speaker 2: us to do.
- 10:24Speaker 1: Okay, what's the best Star Wars movie?
- 10:29Speaker 2: Let me think, I mean, for me, it's got to
- 10:31Speaker 2: be a new Hope. But I mean, I think that's
- 10:33Speaker 2: just because it was the thing that everything hinged on,
- 10:35Speaker 2: you know, like it comes with so much emotional baggage
- 10:40Speaker 2: with it that and it just means so much. I mean,
- 10:44Speaker 2: all the way to my fucking Star Wars bed sheets
- 10:47Speaker 2: that I had, you know, probably way past the ages
- 10:50Speaker 2: that I should have had Star Wars bedsheets.
- 10:53Speaker 1: Okay, Star Wars came out in seventy seven, you were
- 10:55Speaker 1: a little kid. Did you see it when it came out.
- 10:58Speaker 2: I don't think so. My wife and I were trying it.
- 11:00Speaker 2: We don't remember when we first saw Star Wars, and
- 11:04Speaker 2: we were having that exact conversation. I remember my sister
- 11:07Speaker 2: and I were growing up in South Carolina. My sister
- 11:10Speaker 2: has we have different fathers, and I remember her father
- 11:13Speaker 2: picking her up, she's five years older, and her father
- 11:16Speaker 2: picking her up to go see Star Wars in the
- 11:18Speaker 2: theater and being like like crying. My mother had to
- 11:23Speaker 2: console me because I couldn't go. And I remember that succinctly,
- 11:29Speaker 2: But I don't remember when I first saw I remember
- 11:32Speaker 2: going to see Empire Strikes Back, and I remember going
- 11:38Speaker 2: to see Jedi, and I think even more, I remember
- 11:45Speaker 2: leaving the theater after those movies and you're walking out
- 11:49Speaker 2: and the credits are playing, and they're playing that iconic score,
- 11:52Speaker 2: that John Williams score, and you're a kid, and you
- 11:56Speaker 2: walk down the aisle of the theater to leave feeling
- 11:58Speaker 2: like a fucking Jedi, you know, like there was just
- 12:01Speaker 2: it was it was it stayed with you in such
- 12:03Speaker 2: a way. And uh, I've honestly, in everything that I do,
- 12:09Speaker 2: have tried to find a way to maintain that, you know,
- 12:13Speaker 2: Like how do I try and stay time? Like how
- 12:15Speaker 2: do I take away the cynicism that comes with age
- 12:18Speaker 2: and knowing things and just kind of give yourself over
- 12:22Speaker 2: to what it's supposed to be. And I mean I
- 12:25Speaker 2: fail at it miserably, but God, that was the best
- 12:27Speaker 2: feeling ever.
- 12:30Speaker 1: So what else is on the list.
- 12:34Speaker 2: Of all time? Like, I mean, it jumps around my
- 12:38Speaker 2: One of my favorite movies of all time is iHeart
- 12:43Speaker 2: Huckabees David Russell film, But also so is Curproco. I mean,
- 12:50Speaker 2: like my wife every time she comes in the house,
- 12:53Speaker 2: if Circac goes on, it's fucking on, and it stays on.
- 12:56Speaker 2: It drives her insane and then she just gets some
- 13:00Speaker 2: out of my like shitty Patino And personally you get
- 13:03Speaker 2: too in the back, You get to in the back,
- 13:05Speaker 2: like I mean, it's it's just it was, It's just
- 13:08Speaker 2: I don't know if there's anything cooler in the world
- 13:09Speaker 2: than al Pacino during Cercroco period. You know, it's a
- 13:13Speaker 2: maybe dog day afternoon, okay.
- 13:16Speaker 1: But on the list that you have what you're gonna
- 13:18Speaker 1: watch on television? How do you establish that list?
- 13:22Speaker 2: Hold on, you know what I'm gonna show, I'm gonna
- 13:25Speaker 2: figure out right now, like right now, so I've even
- 13:30Speaker 2: got it. So I've even got it down. And the
- 13:32Speaker 2: ones that that are gone away, but but they're gonna
- 13:35Speaker 2: come back, things like The Morning Show and the Umbrella Academy, Uh, Fargo,
- 13:39Speaker 2: if they're gonna if that's gonna come back, Deadlock which
- 13:44Speaker 2: is really great. Australian showed Showgun, which I think is
- 13:47Speaker 2: kind of done. It's not coming back. Fallout was really great.
- 13:51Speaker 2: But I mean then we'll watch like Abbod Elementary and
- 13:54Speaker 2: Welcome to Wrexham. I just started. We just started with
- 13:57Speaker 2: The Big Cigar, which I think is pretty great. So,
- 14:01Speaker 2: I mean it's pretty all over the place. I don't
- 14:03Speaker 2: think we adhere to like, you know, any one kind
- 14:05Speaker 2: of thing.
- 14:13Speaker 1: And so what will your wife not watch that you
- 14:16Speaker 1: watch yourself?
- 14:17Speaker 2: Okay, well, like we just started The Sympathizer with with
- 14:21Speaker 2: Robert Downey Jr. And she watched one episode and was like, okay,
- 14:24Speaker 2: this is yours. I don't know why she loves Robert
- 14:28Speaker 2: Downey Junior more than me, but that was it.
- 14:31Speaker 1: So is this something where you watch something every night
- 14:33Speaker 1: or once a week or how much?
- 14:35Speaker 2: No, pretty much every night. I mean every night that
- 14:37Speaker 2: we're home. You know, we're we have we we have
- 14:41Speaker 2: the blessing and the curse. Like if I'm gone, I'm gone.
- 14:44Speaker 2: But when I'm home, I'm I'm very present. And when
- 14:47Speaker 2: we have long stretches of time where we're you know,
- 14:50Speaker 2: so we have a routine, and that routine always involves
- 14:53Speaker 2: let's either make some dinner or have some dinner. We're
- 14:54Speaker 2: gonna sit down and we're gonna watch something, you know,
- 14:56Speaker 2: something that we're really into. And then on the weekends,
- 14:59Speaker 2: this movie time is using when we set aside time
- 15:01Speaker 2: to actually watch films.
- 15:03Speaker 1: But you always do it at home. You don't go
- 15:05Speaker 1: out to the theater.
- 15:07Speaker 2: Not as much. We you know, here, we live in Bedford,
- 15:09Speaker 2: and right around the corner in Bedford Village there's this
- 15:11Speaker 2: beautiful place called the Bedford it's a Bedford Cinema, but
- 15:16Speaker 2: it's also the Clive Davis Center for Performing Arts.
- 15:19Speaker 1: This is bed for New York in the Bedford.
- 15:22Speaker 2: New York right right, And they have this beautiful place,
- 15:25Speaker 2: you know, and you can eat food there and it's great.
- 15:27Speaker 2: You know, it's wine and food and they have directors
- 15:29Speaker 2: come and they have like events centered around the films.
- 15:31Speaker 2: But they'll also have classic movies Tuesdays and Thursdays, like
- 15:34Speaker 2: they just had the Big Chill last week. I think
- 15:36Speaker 2: they have escaped from New York coming up next week,
- 15:39Speaker 2: and so we're more likely to go see those movies.
- 15:44Speaker 2: But like, I mean, there's a line of like, you know,
- 15:48Speaker 2: when the new Batman movie comes out, I got to
- 15:49Speaker 2: see that in a theater. When you know, there's certain
- 15:51Speaker 2: movies that the director all the time and effort that
- 15:54Speaker 2: goes into making it the spectacle that it is, deserves
- 15:57Speaker 2: that kind of format. I just don't need it for
- 16:00Speaker 2: a lot of the small independent films that I'm watching,
- 16:03Speaker 2: they'll they'll be fine at home, you know. And also
- 16:05Speaker 2: I just I'm good and old man. I just it
- 16:08Speaker 2: takes a lot for me to get I joked that,
- 16:10Speaker 2: you know, I moved to Bedford from the city, and
- 16:14Speaker 2: I didn't want to move too far because I was like,
- 16:15Speaker 2: you know, I want to be able to go in
- 16:16Speaker 2: out of the city all the time because I'm you know,
- 16:18Speaker 2: that's me man. I'm a social butterfly, and like I
- 16:21Speaker 2: joke now that it's It's like if John Lennon and
- 16:25Speaker 2: Jesus were playing at the Beacon, I would still need
- 16:31Speaker 2: to make sure, like, well, I mean, am I getting
- 16:33Speaker 2: driven in? Do I have to find parking? Like? Do I?
- 16:35Speaker 1: You know?
- 16:35Speaker 2: Do I am I good? You know? Do I have
- 16:37Speaker 2: good tickets? Like? I don't know?
- 16:40Speaker 1: But if they're playing at the Capitol, you'll go.
- 16:43Speaker 2: Oh the Capitol for sure. I mean that place is awesome.
- 16:46Speaker 2: I was playing the Capitol and in the dressing room,
- 16:50Speaker 2: the artist dressing room, there's a picture, live picture of
- 16:52Speaker 2: Carlos back in like the early seventies, like sixties playing
- 16:56Speaker 2: and I sent him the picture and he remembered it immediately,
- 17:00Speaker 2: remember that tour. He remember that show, and he's like, oh,
- 17:02Speaker 2: the Capitol. He didn't even know it was. He didn't
- 17:04Speaker 2: know it was back open again.
- 17:06Speaker 1: So a lot of great shows there before it closed
- 17:08Speaker 1: and Peter Shapiro reopened it. But you grew up in
- 17:11Speaker 1: the South. What's it like living in the North.
- 17:13Speaker 2: Now, Well, I've been here longer than I've been anywhere,
- 17:16Speaker 2: because I've been here. I'm fifty two and I've been
- 17:18Speaker 2: here for twenty six years. In New York so I've like,
- 17:24Speaker 2: I don't really know remember, but I think that the
- 17:27Speaker 2: difference is you're never not from the South, if that
- 17:31Speaker 2: makes sense. Like there are certain sensibilities that I grew
- 17:36Speaker 2: up with and I have because I had a Southern mother,
- 17:38Speaker 2: because I grew up in the South, and those things
- 17:40Speaker 2: don't change, and I find there's a yokeleness around me
- 17:45Speaker 2: in that, like like when I go to a party
- 17:48Speaker 2: or I go somewhere like you know, and I'm I
- 17:50Speaker 2: go to some you know, great premiere and you go
- 17:54Speaker 2: to the after party and it's very swanky and it's
- 17:56Speaker 2: a lot of very fanous, but I'm actually like, I'm
- 17:59Speaker 2: really glad to meet you, and I'm really glad to
- 18:01Speaker 2: be there, And that comes across, as you know, as
- 18:05Speaker 2: kind of like yogel, for lack of a better word,
- 18:09Speaker 2: very and very uncool. But I think so you like,
- 18:13Speaker 2: I don't remember what it's like to be in the South,
- 18:15Speaker 2: and I'm sure it's much different twenty six years later
- 18:18Speaker 2: than it was then, some some better and some worse.
- 18:20Speaker 2: But uh, but I but I'll never forget what it's
- 18:23Speaker 2: like to be from the South. And as soon as
- 18:25Speaker 2: I go back home and I get a little buzz
- 18:28Speaker 2: on the accents keeps back out because when my wife
- 18:30Speaker 2: first met me, it was thick. I mean it was like,
- 18:35Speaker 2: you know, not big. I was like, you know, had
- 18:37Speaker 2: it really deep and uh and she loved it because
- 18:40Speaker 2: she was a girl from New York. She didn't you know,
- 18:41Speaker 2: didn't really spend a lot of time with Southern guys.
- 18:44Speaker 2: So I think it helped took her in. But eventually
- 18:47Speaker 2: it went away also because I hated it kept I
- 18:52Speaker 2: hated that it came through in my singing voice, like
- 18:55Speaker 2: my first record, all deeply in the first record, a
- 18:58Speaker 2: little bit in the second record, everything had the Southern
- 19:02Speaker 2: twinge to it. You know, it was cold house harm
- 19:06Speaker 2: mariink like. It was just it was this southernness that
- 19:09Speaker 2: was in there, and I like, I don't know how
- 19:13Speaker 2: to be someone else. So it took, you know, years
- 19:16Speaker 2: of traveling around the world and being in New York
- 19:18Speaker 2: and living there for it to kind of work its
- 19:20Speaker 2: way out. I guess into like whatever my accent is now,
- 19:23Speaker 2: which is just kind of like a non specific Northeastern
- 19:27Speaker 2: kind of a thing.
- 19:29Speaker 1: So you didn't consciously try to get rid of it,
- 19:31Speaker 1: It just evolved.
- 19:33Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I don't think I could have. If
- 19:35Speaker 2: you listen record by record, you can hear it fading away,
- 19:38Speaker 2: you know, little by little.
- 19:41Speaker 1: So how'd you meet your wife.
- 19:44Speaker 2: At a strip club? No, she was. She was on vacation
- 19:51Speaker 2: in Montreal with a friend. She had never heard of
- 19:55Speaker 2: our band, but her we only had one song out.
- 19:57Speaker 2: So we had the joke between us that when we met,
- 20:01Speaker 2: I was more famous than she thought that I was,
- 20:05Speaker 2: but less famous than I thought that I was. And
- 20:10Speaker 2: because to her, she was this worldly New Yorker who
- 20:12Speaker 2: had lived, she'd modeled all over the world. She'd seen
- 20:15Speaker 2: things that I can only imagine. And to her, I
- 20:18Speaker 2: was this guy who had a song on the radio.
- 20:20Speaker 2: She was like, big fucking deal. And to me, I
- 20:23Speaker 2: was this guy that had a song on the fucking radio.
- 20:25Speaker 2: It was a big fucking deal. And so she showed
- 20:29Speaker 2: up that I was immediately her friend somehow.
- 20:33Speaker 1: A little bit slower. Where were you? How did you
- 20:36Speaker 1: end up really encountering her?
- 20:38Speaker 2: I met the Metropolis, this kind of like larger sized club,
- 20:42Speaker 2: smaller sized theater in Montreal. Her friend, what I want
- 20:49Speaker 2: to say, was kind of like being very flirty with
- 20:53Speaker 2: our guitar tech. And so the guitar tech brought her
- 20:57Speaker 2: back after the show, and so whor my now wife
- 21:01Speaker 2: was in tow they're just upset, like she wanted to
- 21:05Speaker 2: fucking go because, in her words, girls like her don't
- 21:09Speaker 2: hang out after the shows. And we've always known that, Bob,
- 21:12Speaker 2: you know, like we've always you always notice that, like
- 21:15Speaker 2: there are a lot of hot girls at shows, but
- 21:18Speaker 2: they're not hanging out backstage because when the show's over,
- 21:20Speaker 2: they go do hot girl shit. They've got us to do.
- 21:24Speaker 2: And so my wife didn't want to be there. She
- 21:26Speaker 2: was there begrudgingly, and then I was also I was
- 21:30Speaker 2: about thirty or more pounds heavier than I am now.
- 21:35Speaker 2: If you listen to her, I only had one eyebrow,
- 21:39Speaker 2: my teeth are a little fucked up. And she's like,
- 21:42Speaker 2: I don't know why. She's like, I just saw you
- 21:44Speaker 2: and thought I see something in there, And I walked
- 21:48Speaker 2: over and just said hi to her and managed to
- 21:51Speaker 2: get her phone number and then left. We only talked
- 21:55Speaker 2: for like maybe ten or fifteen minutes, and then like
- 21:58Speaker 2: four days later, I went to Europe for like two weeks,
- 22:03Speaker 2: and so I just spent that whole time talking to
- 22:05Speaker 2: her on the phone, like she was going to college
- 22:07Speaker 2: at the time, so we would just go, like, you know,
- 22:09Speaker 2: whenever her late night and my after show, I'd go
- 22:13Speaker 2: straight back to Hotell me. We just talk on the phone,
- 22:15Speaker 2: so that by the time I got back and she
- 22:18Speaker 2: came to a festival, I had her fly on to
- 22:20Speaker 2: a festival in Boston, which like the first thing that
- 22:22Speaker 2: we did when we came back. And she came to
- 22:26Speaker 2: that show, and we felt like we really knew each
- 22:29Speaker 2: other because we had spent hours and hours talking about
- 22:31Speaker 2: our lives and everything, and so I was like, I
- 22:34Speaker 2: even told her, like on the first date that we
- 22:36Speaker 2: were going to get married. I was like, we watched
- 22:38Speaker 2: one of my other favorite movies, Basquiot, the Julian Schebel movie,
- 22:42Speaker 2: and there's a song, the version of the Nearness of
- 22:47Speaker 2: You by Keith Richards is in there, and I said, oh,
- 22:51Speaker 2: this is the song you're gonna walk down the aisle
- 22:53Speaker 2: when we get married. And she didn't run, and so
- 22:57Speaker 2: I knew that was a good sign. And so now
- 23:00Speaker 2: this year will be our twenty fifth wedding.
- 23:02Speaker 1: Average Okay, was it smooth off into the sunset or
- 23:06Speaker 1: were there bumps in the road.
- 23:09Speaker 2: I think overall pretty smooth, and that we're really good friends.
- 23:14Speaker 2: I don't. I mean, the thing about being married that
- 23:16Speaker 2: long is is just that everybody at you know, every
- 23:21Speaker 2: few years you're evolving into whatever it is that you're
- 23:25Speaker 2: going to become. And so I think every I would
- 23:28Speaker 2: give it, let's say every five years, you chick it
- 23:30Speaker 2: on yourself, and whatever group of experiences that you've had
- 23:33Speaker 2: happened to you or that you've been a part of,
- 23:35Speaker 2: they change you in some way and you start to become,
- 23:38Speaker 2: you know, eventually whoever you are. And to do that
- 23:42Speaker 2: with another human being isn't necessarily the most natural thing
- 23:46Speaker 2: in the world. It doesn't always work out that way.
- 23:49Speaker 2: These two people go on these different paths sometimes and
- 23:50Speaker 2: they verge, you know, tremendously, and they wind up just
- 23:54Speaker 2: not recognizing each other anymore. And I think her and
- 23:56Speaker 2: I have stayed friends, and that's been the main thing.
- 24:00Speaker 2: I mean, I'm from the South and she is Puerto
- 24:05Speaker 2: Rican and Spanish. So we've had fucking fights. I mean
- 24:10Speaker 2: we were we were in Detroit and got into a fight.
- 24:15Speaker 2: It was like right before Christmas. I remember, because it
- 24:17Speaker 2: was right She as like it was like ten minutes
- 24:20Speaker 2: before the show, and she's like, get I want you
- 24:22Speaker 2: to get your ship and get off the bus. Just
- 24:24Speaker 2: get your ship and get off the bus. And I
- 24:26Speaker 2: took my suitcase or whatever, and I got off the
- 24:28Speaker 2: bus and I'm just like, you know, this will blow over.
- 24:29Speaker 2: And I played the show. And as I'm walking back,
- 24:33Speaker 2: I go to the backstage door and I could I
- 24:34Speaker 2: go to the woman working, I can you do me
- 24:36Speaker 2: a favorite? Can you look outside and just tell me
- 24:38Speaker 2: as they're a big black bus right by the door,
- 24:40Speaker 2: And she's called, no, no, that bus left. It left about
- 24:42Speaker 2: two hours ago, and so she she takes she takes
- 24:48Speaker 2: the bus, and I've still got two weeks on tour
- 24:50Speaker 2: to go down south, so I have to like jump
- 24:52Speaker 2: on the band bus for two weeks. But then by
- 24:55Speaker 2: the next day, her and my bus driver are here
- 24:58Speaker 2: at my house, like write to me sweet messages because
- 25:01Speaker 2: they're gonna go out and they're gonna go buy Christmas
- 25:03Speaker 2: trees and like you're all excited. And I was just like,
- 25:06Speaker 2: I think she just wanted to go home. I don't
- 25:07Speaker 2: even know if she was mad at me. And I
- 25:09Speaker 2: find that one of the things about being married as
- 25:11Speaker 2: long as we are, as we can be in the
- 25:12Speaker 2: middle of a crazy fight and then something could come
- 25:17Speaker 2: on the TV and I could be ho pause out
- 25:21Speaker 2: and she'd be like, oh my god, we'll go and
- 25:23Speaker 2: we'll we're laughing, and then we'll go okay, okay, fight
- 25:25Speaker 2: back on, go go.
- 25:28Speaker 1: Have you ever been to couples counseling?
- 25:30Speaker 2: No, No, that's not for us.
- 25:35Speaker 1: And the two of you don't have children together, right,
- 25:38Speaker 1: we don't.
- 25:38Speaker 2: I have a son. My son is twenty six. So
- 25:41Speaker 2: that was another hurdle is that, you know, so we
- 25:45Speaker 2: meet each other, she's in love, she's got this whole
- 25:48Speaker 2: vision of this life that we're gonna have together, and
- 25:49Speaker 2: I have to explain to her that I do have
- 25:52Speaker 2: a son on the way that he's you know, he
- 25:55Speaker 2: hasn't been born yet, he's about to be born in July.
- 25:57Speaker 2: And that was I think. In fact, so I had
- 26:01Speaker 2: a song on my second record, Matchbok second record called
- 26:04Speaker 2: if You're Gone, and I wrote that song to night
- 26:08Speaker 2: my son was born, because that night my wife broke
- 26:11Speaker 2: up with me. My girl up she was my girlfriend
- 26:13Speaker 2: at the time, and broke up with me because it
- 26:15Speaker 2: just it seemed too much for her, this idea that
- 26:18Speaker 2: she was in love with this guy, but he was
- 26:20Speaker 2: about to embark on this other journey that she wasn't
- 26:23Speaker 2: a part of and something that was very important to her,
- 26:25Speaker 2: the idea of having kids and the idea of being married,
- 26:28Speaker 2: and so she didn't know. She thought maybe I already
- 26:30Speaker 2: had this and didn't need her for it, and she
- 26:33Speaker 2: broke up, and then I wrote, if you're gone. I
- 26:35Speaker 2: don't think that's what got her back, but that was
- 26:38Speaker 2: kind of the headspace that I was in at the time.
- 26:41Speaker 2: And then you know, I think her she's had myriad
- 26:45Speaker 2: health issues for the last twenty some odd years and
- 26:48Speaker 2: because of those things, it just wasn't in the in
- 26:51Speaker 2: the cards for us. And we're okay with it, Like
- 26:55Speaker 2: we were never people who were going to be defined
- 26:57Speaker 2: by being parents, and we are people who do it
- 27:00Speaker 2: like our time that we have, you know, so we're
- 27:04Speaker 2: never like all the pitter patter of little feet and
- 27:07Speaker 2: her and my son are super close, and you know,
- 27:10Speaker 2: my son is now my son is now the guitar
- 27:12Speaker 2: player in my solo band as of this this year,
- 27:16Speaker 2: so you know, it's it's just never felt like something
- 27:19Speaker 2: that we really missed. I think if I had to
- 27:21Speaker 2: think about it really hard, you know, I wasn't around
- 27:24Speaker 2: for all of my son being an infant, and I
- 27:26Speaker 2: kind of maybe that would have been nice to be
- 27:28Speaker 2: a part of watching that evolution and watch someone kind
- 27:31Speaker 2: of become a person. But it's not something that we
- 27:36Speaker 2: lament about too much.
- 27:38Speaker 1: So, had you had a relationship with the mother of
- 27:41Speaker 1: your son or was it a brief interlude.
- 27:45Speaker 2: Somewhere in the middle. We were very fond of each
- 27:48Speaker 2: other and we we spend a little bit of time together,
- 27:52Speaker 2: but it was but it was brief.
- 27:54Speaker 1: And so what what went through your head when you
- 27:56Speaker 1: found out she was pregnant?
- 27:59Speaker 2: Uh? I mean at the time, I was more worried.
- 28:04Speaker 2: I mean, I mean I was more of a fuck
- 28:06Speaker 2: up then, you know, I was. I was still dabbling
- 28:12Speaker 2: in cocaine and brown liquor a lot, and so I
- 28:17Speaker 2: think I was just I really just had these thoughts
- 28:20Speaker 2: of me not being prepared, you know, like I wasn't
- 28:24Speaker 2: I didn't really have a sense of like, oh my
- 28:26Speaker 2: life is over, but that you know, there wasn't like
- 28:28Speaker 2: this this kind of dread. I mean, I was twenty seven,
- 28:32Speaker 2: so it wasn't like I was fifteen or sixteen. It
- 28:36Speaker 2: was just a sense of like, I don't know if
- 28:39Speaker 2: I'm as a person prepared for this task, and I
- 28:44Speaker 2: need to. I need to, you know, kind of I
- 28:48Speaker 2: need to be better quick.
- 28:51Speaker 1: Okay, So you meet your wife pretty early in your success.
- 28:58Speaker 1: Many people, you know, they want to become successful rock stars,
- 29:02Speaker 1: to live the rock and roll lifestyle.
- 29:04Speaker 2: Yeah. Well I had, you know, a good year and
- 29:07Speaker 2: a half with just fucking ran it til the brakes
- 29:11Speaker 2: ran off of it. And that was you know, it
- 29:13Speaker 2: was fun. But you know, Paul, my best friend, Paul,
- 29:17Speaker 2: who was the drummer for Matchbox and now he's the
- 29:18Speaker 2: guitar player. I mean, I remember just before I met
- 29:23Speaker 2: my wife on a plane, just wasted and looking at
- 29:28Speaker 2: each other and going, you know, there's more to it
- 29:31Speaker 2: than this, right, Like it feels like we're kind of
- 29:34Speaker 2: like in this cycle of like play, let's play a show,
- 29:38Speaker 2: Let's get fucking wasted, wake up, let's do it all
- 29:41Speaker 2: over again. You know, girl show, wasted show, Girl show wasted,
- 29:46Speaker 2: girl show, and and so I kind of feel like
- 29:51Speaker 2: I got to experience a lot of what that's about.
- 29:53Speaker 2: But when I met my wife, she was young and
- 29:56Speaker 2: I was young, and so we spent the next couple
- 30:00Speaker 2: of years traveling around the world, you know, on this
- 30:03Speaker 2: fucking grand adventure and you know, we did the drugs
- 30:07Speaker 2: and we did the drinking, and we went to the
- 30:09Speaker 2: parties and you know, like we Michael Littman is my
- 30:13Speaker 2: original manager, Michael Littman from back in the day you
- 30:16Speaker 2: just managed George. Michael managed Bowie for a while, and
- 30:20Speaker 2: you know, he was one of my big role models
- 30:24Speaker 2: when I first started in this business, and him and
- 30:26Speaker 2: his wife in particular, because they had you know, we
- 30:29Speaker 2: would go to London and they would take us to
- 30:31Speaker 2: Cambridges and you know, they take us to these spots
- 30:32Speaker 2: and be like, oh, this is you know where me
- 30:35Speaker 2: and George did this, or me and David did this,
- 30:37Speaker 2: and they would tell these great stories and it was
- 30:39Speaker 2: the two of them that had done that. And she
- 30:41Speaker 2: used to say, you know, oh, her name's Nancy Liman.
- 30:44Speaker 2: She would say, oh, yeah, I'm a rock chick from wayback.
- 30:46Speaker 2: And so now that's the joke from my wife. You know,
- 30:48Speaker 2: my wife's like, you know, she's a rock chick from
- 30:50Speaker 2: way back. Like we got to do that together and
- 30:52Speaker 2: experience that together, which I think is so much better
- 30:58Speaker 2: than the idea like me meeting someone and ten fifteen
- 31:01Speaker 2: years later and having this whole other part of my
- 31:04Speaker 2: life that they're not a part of. You know. It
- 31:06Speaker 2: almost like we've been together a really long time and
- 31:09Speaker 2: we got to be She got to be through that
- 31:12Speaker 2: part of it with me, So it's not some you know,
- 31:14Speaker 2: fairy tale that she hears stories about later on.
- 31:24Speaker 1: So she traveled with you at first? Does she traveled
- 31:27Speaker 1: with you at all? Now?
- 31:29Speaker 2: Whenever she wants? I mean she you know, she's not
- 31:33Speaker 2: lured by the bus anymore, you know, maybe the way
- 31:37Speaker 2: I used to be, But she does like I did.
- 31:39Speaker 2: I knew that she was the one when after our
- 31:41Speaker 2: first time we were torn together. We're sitting like about
- 31:44Speaker 2: a month or two later in our apartment and soho
- 31:47Speaker 2: and she just out of nowhere she said, oh I
- 31:49Speaker 2: missed the bus. Was just like, oh really, so nah,
- 31:54Speaker 2: It's like I fucking love you. And then you know, well, Willy.
- 31:56Speaker 2: After my time working with Willie was when I we
- 31:59Speaker 2: really up and we started we got our when it
- 32:03Speaker 2: was just her and Eye on a bus alone. We
- 32:05Speaker 2: stopped getting hotel rooms all together, and just every every
- 32:09Speaker 2: day of tour was on the bus. We would just
- 32:11Speaker 2: live off that bus, and he got life was so
- 32:13Speaker 2: much easier once we started to do that, and it
- 32:15Speaker 2: wasn't those three o'clock in the morning, back and forth
- 32:18Speaker 2: to the hotels, pack up your ship, go get a room,
- 32:21Speaker 2: come back down to twelve for the you know, it
- 32:23Speaker 2: was just a nightmare. And now it was just like
- 32:25Speaker 2: wherever we went, we were home and it was perfect.
- 32:28Speaker 2: Like I, you know, WILLI used to tell me that
- 32:29Speaker 2: he would take his bus to his house, but he
- 32:32Speaker 2: would still stay on his bus, like he would just
- 32:34Speaker 2: do his laundry in the house, but he would just
- 32:36Speaker 2: still stay on the bus and like, you know, hook
- 32:38Speaker 2: up the power and the phone lines and shipped to
- 32:39Speaker 2: the bus. And I was just like, oh, you're my
- 32:41Speaker 2: fucking hero again.
- 32:44Speaker 1: Wow. So what did the rest of the band say
- 32:48Speaker 1: when all of a sudden there's this woman along with
- 32:50Speaker 1: you with them?
- 32:52Speaker 2: It was it was a good time, Like when when
- 32:54Speaker 2: I met her. It was the next leg of our
- 32:57Speaker 2: tour was about to happen, and it was the first
- 32:59Speaker 2: time that we had two buses, and so everybody, what
- 33:06Speaker 2: the hell just happened?
- 33:07Speaker 1: I have no idea where that came from. It's like
- 33:10Speaker 1: a your birthday or something. I don't know.
- 33:13Speaker 2: That is awesome. So, you know.
- 33:15Speaker 1: This is audio only, but all of a sudden, we
- 33:17Speaker 1: saw balloons on the screen, just like to see my message.
- 33:20Speaker 2: I don't know, I feel like that guy in that
- 33:22Speaker 2: I am not a cat, sir. So we had two
- 33:26Speaker 2: buses for the first time, and so we're we all,
- 33:30Speaker 2: you know, Paul at the time, I just started dating
- 33:33Speaker 2: me and Zappa and they weren't married yet, but they
- 33:36Speaker 2: had just started dating. I think Brian had just met,
- 33:40Speaker 2: like we had all met people, and so we everybody
- 33:44Speaker 2: loved the idea that we could break off, had a
- 33:45Speaker 2: little more room, and everybody could bring somebody out if
- 33:47Speaker 2: they wanted to. So it's actually the perfect time for it.
- 33:52Speaker 1: Okay. Anybody who's had the level of success you've had
- 33:56Speaker 1: knows you're out there, you're playing to thousands of people.
- 34:00Speaker 1: You know, then you go back in the dressing room
- 34:01Speaker 1: with the same people you've known for ten or fifteen years.
- 34:05Speaker 1: How do you calm down from a show?
- 34:09Speaker 2: Well, I mean it's I think it still involves drinking.
- 34:13Speaker 2: Probably it used to be more, I think, but then again,
- 34:19Speaker 2: I mean, you know a lot of those highs were
- 34:22Speaker 2: much higher at the very very beginning. They were new.
- 34:24Speaker 2: Everything was a new experience, you know, for the first
- 34:27Speaker 2: few years. Every sold out club, no matter how small,
- 34:30Speaker 2: it was felt like a victory. And then you moved
- 34:32Speaker 2: the theaters and then, you know, if you're fortunate enough
- 34:35Speaker 2: like that, that one record had like three or four
- 34:38Speaker 2: different lives over like a three year period that ended.
- 34:41Speaker 2: It started with us in tiny clubs playing to nobody,
- 34:45Speaker 2: and ended in sold out arenas all over the world,
- 34:49Speaker 2: and so everything about that was special and new and exciting,
- 34:53Speaker 2: and we were you know, and I think, just like
- 34:56Speaker 2: anything else, I think, you know, when you're a race
- 34:58Speaker 2: car driver, that's speed. It is exhilarating, and then over
- 35:02Speaker 2: the years, everything else inside of the car slows down
- 35:06Speaker 2: a little bit and you see it a little bit differently,
- 35:09Speaker 2: and you're you know, like, so now when I'm on stage,
- 35:12Speaker 2: it's not the show coming at me in a million
- 35:14Speaker 2: miles an hour. I'm inside of it, controlling the apparatus
- 35:19Speaker 2: to some degree. I'm thinking about where I'm going to be.
- 35:21Speaker 2: I'm thinking about how I'm singing. I'm thinking about physicality
- 35:24Speaker 2: and where I'm placing myself, thinking about what the rest
- 35:27Speaker 2: of the band is doing. I'm thinking about how this
- 35:29Speaker 2: is coming across. And so I think that now it's
- 35:33Speaker 2: more just like, hey, everybody. Let's if we have a
- 35:36Speaker 2: really great show, we all get together, we're all excited,
- 35:38Speaker 2: let's toast it. Let's you know. But there's a lot
- 35:40Speaker 2: of times where we can have an amazing show sold out,
- 35:44Speaker 2: you know, at some amphitheater, twenty two thousand people, and
- 35:48Speaker 2: I am on my bus in the shower before the
- 35:51Speaker 2: place is empty, you know, because I'm also there. When
- 35:55Speaker 2: you were younger, there was no tomorrow, and now only
- 36:00Speaker 2: aware that that tomorrow we have to do this again.
- 36:03Speaker 2: I want my voice to sound as good like if
- 36:05Speaker 2: I had a great show. My first thought is, oh,
- 36:07Speaker 2: wouldn't it be great if I had another one tomorrow? Like
- 36:09Speaker 2: I want my voice to sound as good as it did.
- 36:11Speaker 2: I want my body to have that kind of energy.
- 36:13Speaker 2: I'm way more aware now than I was then of
- 36:16Speaker 2: like what it takes for someone to come to see
- 36:19Speaker 2: a show, Like when you see all these people and
- 36:22Speaker 2: that every one of them represents somebody that chose to
- 36:24Speaker 2: be there. They paid money for a ticket, they had
- 36:26Speaker 2: to get parking, they had to get babysitters, you know,
- 36:29Speaker 2: especially as we get older, well now as we got older,
- 36:32Speaker 2: a lot of them now have kids that can be
- 36:33Speaker 2: their babysitters or they're bringing their grandkids. But you know,
- 36:38Speaker 2: I think it's just a different mindset that you're in.
- 36:42Speaker 2: It's still exciting, but you you're I think you're you're
- 36:46Speaker 2: just a little more responsible about the whole situation than
- 36:48Speaker 2: you used to be.
- 36:50Speaker 1: Okay, let's say, you know, you go from the stage
- 36:52Speaker 1: to the shower. You still can't fall asleep right away.
- 36:56Speaker 2: No, no, no, it's still we're still up late, you know.
- 36:59Speaker 2: But that's luckily my wife is one of those two.
- 37:01Speaker 2: I mean, you know, there's been a lot of like
- 37:03Speaker 2: times where I'm in there, I'm on the shower because
- 37:05Speaker 2: I'm I'm now like the bus is moving, I'm on
- 37:08Speaker 2: the bus showering while we're driving down the road. I've
- 37:11Speaker 2: got to kind of got good bus legs, and so
- 37:14Speaker 2: I come out. And then we're always like, there's a couple,
- 37:18Speaker 2: you know, let's have some let's have a couple of
- 37:19Speaker 2: drinks on the on the bus, you know, you know,
- 37:21Speaker 2: get maybe a little somebody to eat while and then
- 37:23Speaker 2: you know, we're all usually streaming something, so we go
- 37:26Speaker 2: back to whatever we were watching. You know, whether it's
- 37:29Speaker 2: that's when we might be a little more pull out,
- 37:32Speaker 2: like the old Ken Burns jazz documentaries and shit like that.
- 37:36Speaker 2: We still, like somehow exist on a lot of DVDs
- 37:38Speaker 2: on the bus because you because sometimes you don't have signal,
- 37:41Speaker 2: so you still have to, you know, like be tethered
- 37:43Speaker 2: in some way to DVDs. Uh. So you know, I
- 37:46Speaker 2: think you know you don't go to sleep, But luckily
- 37:50Speaker 2: it used to no matter because your whole life worked
- 37:52Speaker 2: in a cycle. Like you you can go to bed
- 37:54Speaker 2: till five in the morning, but you woke up at
- 37:55Speaker 2: two in the afternoon. My body, now, in my fifties,
- 37:59Speaker 2: I can't sleep past nine if I try, you know,
- 38:02Speaker 2: and usually I'm up at seven thirty. So even if
- 38:04Speaker 2: I go to that are like three, my body's gonna
- 38:06Speaker 2: get up at seven thirty. My dogs are gonna wake
- 38:08Speaker 2: me up at seven thirty. I'm not gonna go back
- 38:09Speaker 2: to sleep. So you know, again, that's where the responsibility
- 38:13Speaker 2: has to kick in.
- 38:16Speaker 1: Are you wearing an orror ring? I am, so tell
- 38:21Speaker 1: me about that.
- 38:22Speaker 2: I don't know. Do you have one? Now?
- 38:24Speaker 1: I don't have one. I know a lot of people
- 38:26Speaker 1: who have them. I've read varying reports on you know,
- 38:29Speaker 1: their usability, their accuracy. What's your experience been. I.
- 38:34Speaker 2: I think the only reason that I wear it is
- 38:36Speaker 2: to check how my sleep was every day. It's like
- 38:40Speaker 2: it's literally I I didn't get an Apple Watch. I
- 38:44Speaker 2: had an Apple Watch and it was so passive aggressive,
- 38:46Speaker 2: that little fucker, and like it kept telling me to
- 38:48Speaker 2: stand up and go for a walk, and hey, don't
- 38:50Speaker 2: forget to meditate. And now even now through my phone,
- 38:53Speaker 2: my ring, like my phone will beep and just be like,
- 38:56Speaker 2: hey man, it's getting time for bed. Don't you think
- 38:58Speaker 2: hm out when I start winding it down, and I'm
- 39:00Speaker 2: just like, fuck you. You don't know my life ring.
- 39:03Speaker 2: So yeah, I don't know how long I'm going to
- 39:04Speaker 2: have it. I have My manager now is Nick Litman.
- 39:08Speaker 2: He's co managers with his son with his father, Michael,
- 39:12Speaker 2: and he swears by this thing. So in Australia they
- 39:16Speaker 2: I fucking bought into it and now I've got it,
- 39:20Speaker 2: so I'm going to live with it for a while.
- 39:22Speaker 2: And see. I don't see any giant insights into my
- 39:26Speaker 2: life that this ring is giving me. But I am
- 39:29Speaker 2: fascinated every morning with how I slept.
- 39:32Speaker 1: You know, what are all the details it tells you
- 39:34Speaker 1: about how you sleep?
- 39:35Speaker 2: I let you know, like where you're breathing rate was
- 39:37Speaker 2: while you were sleeping, but it lets you know, like
- 39:38Speaker 2: you're how much time you were in RAM sleep versus
- 39:43Speaker 2: deep sleep, how much time you spend in bed versus
- 39:45Speaker 2: actually sleeping, you know, And like it turns out like
- 39:49Speaker 2: even like if I have like a pretty high sleep
- 39:52Speaker 2: score and I slept pretty well, only like fourteen minutes
- 39:55Speaker 2: of that whole night was in deep sleep, which is
- 39:58Speaker 2: kind of crazy, like maybe an hour and something is
- 40:01Speaker 2: in r EM sleep, you know, and that's out of
- 40:04Speaker 2: eight hours. So I'm not But again, Bob, one of
- 40:09Speaker 2: the things is like I could do something and be like, oh,
- 40:13Speaker 2: I had like a sleep score in the forties, which
- 40:16Speaker 2: is kind of abysmal, and then I do something I
- 40:19Speaker 2: changed something up, and I'm like, oh, you know, I didn't.
- 40:21Speaker 2: I had like a couple of less glasses of wine
- 40:23Speaker 2: and I didn't eat late, and I had like an
- 40:26Speaker 2: eighty six sleep score. And you would think that that's
- 40:29Speaker 2: the purpose of the ring, and I would go, oh,
- 40:31Speaker 2: that's what I need to do now that. No, I
- 40:33Speaker 2: don't change my life in any way whatsoever. I still
- 40:36Speaker 2: do whatever the fuck I do, and then I just
- 40:38Speaker 2: wake up the next day and go like, oh, how
- 40:39Speaker 2: to go? I'm not using it the way I'm supposed to.
- 40:44Speaker 1: If you had a high score and you thought back
- 40:46Speaker 1: and you said, well, I didn't drink or I drank less,
- 40:49Speaker 1: and I did this, and I did that, if you
- 40:51Speaker 1: repeat that behavior and you get the same results.
- 40:55Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean obviously, like any it doesn't take a
- 40:58Speaker 2: psychotherapist or a medical doctor to letting you know that
- 41:02Speaker 2: if you have two glasses of wine instead of six,
- 41:05Speaker 2: you're probably gonna sleep a lot better. And I have
- 41:08Speaker 2: like restless legs syndrome I have, but I also have
- 41:12Speaker 2: a drinking problem. So what are you gonna do?
- 41:15Speaker 1: Well, well, we'll define a drinking problem.
- 41:18Speaker 2: I drink more than is healthy for my life.
- 41:23Speaker 1: Do you drink every day?
- 41:25Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, most days? Yeah, I mean I don't get
- 41:28Speaker 2: drunk every day.
- 41:29Speaker 1: But what's the earliest you'll have a drink.
- 41:35Speaker 2: It depends if I'm on the road and it's a
- 41:37Speaker 2: day off. I mean you might be out at lunch
- 41:40Speaker 2: having some drinks. But you know that's a that's a
- 41:42Speaker 2: different special situation. At home, we're more of like a
- 41:46Speaker 2: six thirty seven o'clock have some wine. I mean, like
- 41:51Speaker 2: I come from a world where it was shot shot, shot, shot, shot,
- 41:56Speaker 2: blind line, line shot shot, smoke, smoke, line, line, pill, pill,
- 41:59Speaker 2: and so so it feels pretty moderate in a relative way,
- 42:05Speaker 2: you know, compared to like the gears that I but
- 42:08Speaker 2: I don't have those gears anymore, you know, Like I
- 42:11Speaker 2: traded that model in for a slower model. Like I
- 42:15Speaker 2: don't have a sports car anymore. I'm more of a
- 42:19Speaker 2: nice four door sedan. Kind of a body happening.
- 42:24Speaker 1: And do you have an addictive personality? Do you need it?
- 42:26Speaker 1: Or you're someone say, well, you know I can stop
- 42:29Speaker 1: after a couple of drinks.
- 42:31Speaker 2: I No, I don't think so at all. I think
- 42:33Speaker 2: that's the thing is, I could not drink at all.
- 42:37Speaker 2: But I don't have a limitter. But I'm that way
- 42:41Speaker 2: with a lot of things, you know, good and bad,
- 42:44Speaker 2: Like I get. I like my workouts. I will work
- 42:49Speaker 2: out six days a week, seven days a week for
- 42:53Speaker 2: an hour and a half two hours a day, you know,
- 42:56Speaker 2: and really, and I've got it in my computer, I know,
- 42:58Speaker 2: like what workouts I'm doing this and this day and
- 43:00Speaker 2: this day I'm charting my progress. I'm like because I
- 43:04Speaker 2: started to do it, and I was like, oh I
- 43:05Speaker 2: want to. I want to do it. You know, I
- 43:06Speaker 2: started to learn something, I'm like, Okay, I want to
- 43:09Speaker 2: fucking learn it. I want to, you know. And so
- 43:12Speaker 2: anything that I like, I don't want to get. If
- 43:15Speaker 2: I buy a book and I start to like it
- 43:18Speaker 2: and there's you know, sequels, I would just go buy
- 43:22Speaker 2: all of them at one time now because I am
- 43:23Speaker 2: now all into this. You know, do you.
- 43:27Speaker 1: Work out six days a week? Yeah, by yourself with
- 43:31Speaker 1: a trainer, now, by myself. So how do you get
- 43:35Speaker 1: yourself motivated?
- 43:38Speaker 2: Ego? Like I one of the things, you know, real
- 43:45Speaker 2: talk Bob. One of the things is like, you know,
- 43:48Speaker 2: at fifty two years old and I you know, I
- 43:53Speaker 2: don't want to I don't want to see the big
- 43:56Speaker 2: bloated pictures of me at the casino and my ed
- 43:59Speaker 2: hearty T shirts and all, you know, and you're and
- 44:01Speaker 2: you're like metal jewelry every you know what I mean,
- 44:05Speaker 2: like still trying to hang onto that rock dream with
- 44:07Speaker 2: your gut hanging out Like I mean, first off, I've
- 44:09Speaker 2: never been like rock and roll guy anyway, but yeah,
- 44:15Speaker 2: I know for a fact that nine the time if
- 44:18Speaker 2: somebody goes, oh yeah I went and saw Rob Thomas,
- 44:19Speaker 2: or I saw mashbox swinning the other night. Somebody's gonna go, oh,
- 44:23Speaker 2: how do they look? How do they do it? You know?
- 44:25Speaker 2: And and or at least if they if we look
- 44:28Speaker 2: like shit, people are gonna stay in their noticing like,
- 44:30Speaker 2: oh man, they look fucking rough. God damn like I.
- 44:34Speaker 2: I I don't want you know what, I'll when we
- 44:38Speaker 2: stop recording, I'll call out. I don't want to. I
- 44:40Speaker 2: don't like talking about people, but I'll tell I'll give
- 44:45Speaker 2: you a great example of it.
- 44:53Speaker 1: Okay, Very early in your career, once you broke to
- 44:57Speaker 1: the external world, it looked like it was very fast
- 45:00Speaker 1: and you gained weight, and as a result of that
- 45:03Speaker 1: and your instant success perceived by the public, there was
- 45:06Speaker 1: a lot of blowback. How did you cope with that?
- 45:11Speaker 2: Unfortunately by eating and drinking, Like I used to do cocaine,
- 45:16Speaker 2: but I would only do cocaine so that I could
- 45:17Speaker 2: stay awake and party more, which led to more drinking,
- 45:21Speaker 2: which eventually would lead to, you know, gorging on food.
- 45:24Speaker 2: So no matter how much I was doing, I was
- 45:26Speaker 2: still gaining a lot of weight. The first time that
- 45:29Speaker 2: we were ever mentioned in Rolling Stone at all, there
- 45:32Speaker 2: was just a picture of me I had this red hoodie.
- 45:35Speaker 2: It was from Glastonbury and I just looked bloated as
- 45:38Speaker 2: fun and it said it said two things that were
- 45:41Speaker 2: just fucking brilliant. It said one that it said Rob
- 45:45Speaker 2: Thomas apparently has grown as a performer. And then it
- 45:49Speaker 2: said apparently the road that success leads to the deli trade.
- 45:57Speaker 2: So we got to charge out of that because at
- 45:58Speaker 2: least it was clever.
- 46:01Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, we're talking decades later. It must have
- 46:03Speaker 1: hurt back then.
- 46:04Speaker 2: No, I mean it really did. And obviously, I mean, Bob,
- 46:07Speaker 2: the thing that we're talking about now, you know, when
- 46:08Speaker 2: I think about the reason in the why I'm working,
- 46:11Speaker 2: why I work out six days a week, the reason,
- 46:13Speaker 2: like I have an unhealthy and this is this is
- 46:17Speaker 2: you know real talk to me and my therapist, you know,
- 46:19Speaker 2: these are these are subjects, which is I have a
- 46:21Speaker 2: very unhealthy body image and I have an unhealthy relationship
- 46:25Speaker 2: with calories and food and the like because of because
- 46:29Speaker 2: of that, like I you know, because it went deeper
- 46:31Speaker 2: than that. It was also me I used to hate,
- 46:34Speaker 2: like you know, there were always photo shoots and I
- 46:36Speaker 2: fucking hated photo shoots because I felt fat because photo
- 46:38Speaker 2: shoots always come with wardrobe fittings, which you hate even
- 46:42Speaker 2: more because at some point there's some stylist that you
- 46:44Speaker 2: don't even know, going, hey, you need to hit the gym.
- 46:47Speaker 2: Huh is this? You know, You're just like ah, and
- 46:49Speaker 2: so just pile And then I'm the kind of guy
- 46:52Speaker 2: who will never let you know, so I'm always I'm
- 46:56Speaker 2: laughing it off to your face and then the you know,
- 47:00Speaker 2: drinking it back away, and so you know, it stuck
- 47:03Speaker 2: with me pretty hard. My wife, I think, you know,
- 47:10Speaker 2: ever since I met her, it was just on a
- 47:13Speaker 2: much healthier path, you know, not just for aesthetics, but
- 47:20Speaker 2: just you know, aesthetics are a lucky byproduct of that,
- 47:23Speaker 2: you know, being healthier.
- 47:25Speaker 1: So your reference drugs a number of times like that
- 47:27Speaker 1: was in the past. So what's the status of drugs today?
- 47:32Speaker 2: Uh? Alcohol, caffeine, weed? So none?
- 47:41Speaker 1: Was that a conscious decision, a hard decision, or just
- 47:43Speaker 1: so all of a sudden you woke up one day
- 47:45Speaker 1: and you weren't doing it.
- 47:46Speaker 2: That wasn't too hard. I mean I really miss sometimes
- 47:51Speaker 2: I miss psychedelics sometimes, you know, I miss and I
- 47:54Speaker 2: missed like maybe ecstasy. You know, we used to have
- 47:56Speaker 2: a lot of fun. Uh, you know, takeing ecstasy, but
- 48:02Speaker 2: cocaine was easy to give up. I think it was
- 48:04Speaker 2: just one you just have to be have one time
- 48:07Speaker 2: where you look at the people that are in your life,
- 48:10Speaker 2: that are only in your life because you're doing cocaine,
- 48:12Speaker 2: and how fucking how just how much you hate them,
- 48:15Speaker 2: and then you see yourself in them and you go,
- 48:17Speaker 2: oh my god, that's who I am, you know, like
- 48:20Speaker 2: I'm hanging out with this person that I've never met
- 48:22Speaker 2: before in my entire life, and we're talking about opening
- 48:24Speaker 2: a club together tomorrow, you know, those kind of nights.
- 48:28Speaker 2: And so that was pretty easy to be like, yeah,
- 48:30Speaker 2: I'm okay with Without that part of my life happened anymore.
- 48:34Speaker 1: Now I can see on the zoom you're wearing a
- 48:37Speaker 1: bracelet with letters on like a friendship bracelet.
- 48:42Speaker 2: Oh yeah, one from a fan and one from my niece.
- 48:48Speaker 2: But it's not as cute as it sounds. My niece
- 48:49Speaker 2: is in her mid thirties.
- 48:51Speaker 1: Okay, do they say anything specific?
- 48:54Speaker 2: One has my dog Sammy's name on it, who passed away,
- 48:58Speaker 2: and then one just says Matt twenty because uh, because
- 49:03Speaker 2: I'm a fan.
- 49:05Speaker 1: So you mentioned a therapist, So when did you start
- 49:09Speaker 1: and how much do you go now.
- 49:12Speaker 2: Uh, once every couple of weeks, maybe a year and
- 49:18Speaker 2: a half ago, two years ago I had I started.
- 49:22Speaker 2: Five years ago, I had my first time ever going
- 49:24Speaker 2: to a therapist, and I swear to God, like five
- 49:28Speaker 2: it's like a fifth session. And she just fell asleep
- 49:33Speaker 2: in the middle of the session, and when I called
- 49:36Speaker 2: her on it, she just said I was boring her,
- 49:42Speaker 2: And so I think in some way, I was like,
- 49:44Speaker 2: I fucking knew this is what it was. I knew
- 49:46Speaker 2: this is what it's gonna be the you know what
- 49:47Speaker 2: I mean, And so that put me off it for
- 49:49Speaker 2: a little while. Now I have one who I like
- 49:52Speaker 2: a lot. Honestly, I think that she agrees with me
- 49:55Speaker 2: a little too much, you might, and so I still
- 49:57Speaker 2: might be in a phase now where I need to
- 50:00Speaker 2: someone who challenges me a little more. So that might
- 50:03Speaker 2: be my next stage in that evolution.
- 50:05Speaker 1: What motivated you to go to begin with?
- 50:11Speaker 2: You know, I got there's a lot of unresolved. My
- 50:15Speaker 2: mother and I had a very complicated relationship. It's almost like,
- 50:19Speaker 2: if you go like reasons for therapy number one, this
- 50:23Speaker 2: is you know, so my mother and I had a
- 50:25Speaker 2: very complicated relationship, that was never resolved when she passed away,
- 50:30Speaker 2: and that was kind of always in there, and I
- 50:32Speaker 2: see these parts of her that I hated, that I
- 50:35Speaker 2: see inside of myself, and I wanted to explore those
- 50:38Speaker 2: a little bit. I wanted to kind of explore, h
- 50:43Speaker 2: explore my reasons for why why I'm you know, why
- 50:46Speaker 2: why the drinking and why sometimes I let it get
- 50:48Speaker 2: out of control to a certain you know. And I
- 50:51Speaker 2: just had questions that I wasn't and that I couldn't
- 50:55Speaker 2: answer myself, even though I was the only one that
- 50:57Speaker 2: contained the answers. But I just did have a key
- 51:00Speaker 2: to figure out how to find that answer.
- 51:04Speaker 1: Okay, so you grew up in South Carolina. We're in
- 51:06Speaker 1: South Carolina.
- 51:09Speaker 2: So between a place called Lake City, South Carolina, which
- 51:12Speaker 2: is like a very small tobacco town maybe an hour
- 51:17Speaker 2: from Myrtle Beach and a little time in Columbia, but
- 51:23Speaker 2: in Lake City. So Lake City, we we lived in
- 51:27Speaker 2: my grandmother's house. So my grandmother was this character. So
- 51:30Speaker 2: it was like a kind of like I guess you
- 51:33Speaker 2: would call it a general store in a sense, right.
- 51:34Speaker 2: It was the local gas station where all the tobacco
- 51:38Speaker 2: farmers would come on their lunch break and they could
- 51:40Speaker 2: get you know, they would get get a coke or
- 51:42Speaker 2: a hot dog or whatever. People would be on their
- 51:44Speaker 2: way to the beach sometimes were stopping get gas. She
- 51:47Speaker 2: brewedleg liquor from a room under the stairs and had
- 51:51Speaker 2: sold weed out of her room in the back. So
- 51:53Speaker 2: when I was like ten years old, I could, I could,
- 51:55Speaker 2: I was separating stems and seeds out of this weed,
- 51:58Speaker 2: making like in like weighing out dining bags and nickel bags.
- 52:03Speaker 2: Like at least once a year somebody got shot at
- 52:06Speaker 2: this place. It was like it was like one of
- 52:08Speaker 2: these kind of a shack of a store where like
- 52:11Speaker 2: there's a wood floor, but if there was a hole
- 52:13Speaker 2: in it, it went straight to the ground kind of thing.
- 52:15Speaker 2: You know. It was very much a very you know,
- 52:19Speaker 2: very modest to say the least place. And so we
- 52:25Speaker 2: that was my grandmother's uh play, And she was a
- 52:28Speaker 2: character who had never she never drank. And then once
- 52:32Speaker 2: a year, once every two years, she would go on
- 52:33Speaker 2: like a two week vendor that would somehow like end
- 52:36Speaker 2: up with her out in front of the store with
- 52:37Speaker 2: a gun. Like she was you know, she was either
- 52:40Speaker 2: like the nicest, sweetest carrying person or just a fucking
- 52:44Speaker 2: you know, powder cake. So it was interesting, it was
- 52:47Speaker 2: you know, it was just it was a very interesting thing.
- 52:51Speaker 2: And then my mom moved us out to Florida. So
- 52:54Speaker 2: it was at a time where like she got a
- 52:57Speaker 2: job as a computer programmer, but nobody even knew what
- 52:59Speaker 2: that was. So they were just hiring people off the
- 53:01Speaker 2: street and sending them to school to learn because they
- 53:04Speaker 2: were still doing it with computer cards at the time.
- 53:05Speaker 2: And if you remember that, time punches all. Yeah, so
- 53:08Speaker 2: she was learning cobalt and all these and then as
- 53:10Speaker 2: soon as she'd learned it, there'd be a whole new
- 53:12Speaker 2: operating system and she'd go to where met And when
- 53:15Speaker 2: she was sixteen, she lied about her age or for
- 53:19Speaker 2: a first job and said that she was nineteen. And
- 53:22Speaker 2: I was born when she was twenty one. My sister
- 53:25Speaker 2: was born when she was sixteen, and she just kept
- 53:31Speaker 2: working her way up through these so by the time
- 53:33Speaker 2: she had passed away, you know, she had moved us
- 53:37Speaker 2: to a really nice, middle class neighborhood. Like we went
- 53:39Speaker 2: from living in like the dingy, shitty apartments on that
- 53:43Speaker 2: side of town that nobody wants to go to to
- 53:46Speaker 2: like a really nice place in Wakaiva, Florida, which was
- 53:49Speaker 2: like middle class, beautiful neighborhood. She was the head of
- 53:53Speaker 2: Q of Quality Assurance for City Bank and for their
- 53:58Speaker 2: security team in banking. You know, she was very respected,
- 54:04Speaker 2: and then I think she probably drank herself out of
- 54:07Speaker 2: a job and then drank herself to death later on.
- 54:11Speaker 1: Let's go back your grandmother. What were her parents? How
- 54:17Speaker 1: did she end up there?
- 54:18Speaker 2: I never knew her father, I knew her I didn't.
- 54:22Speaker 2: I mean, it was just this magical place that just
- 54:24Speaker 2: appeared to me. You know. That was where my history
- 54:27Speaker 2: of my family and everybody began. And it's hard to
- 54:30Speaker 2: get a straight answer about anything that happened before that.
- 54:33Speaker 2: You know, my like my I know my aunt. My
- 54:36Speaker 2: mother had a sister. Her name is Marcella Summers, and
- 54:41Speaker 2: we used to call her Monkey and she spent she
- 54:45Speaker 2: spent most of my life in prison in South Carolina
- 54:48Speaker 2: because she hired a serial killer named pee Wee Gaskins.
- 54:52Speaker 2: And there's a book about him that's out and she
- 54:55Speaker 2: actually has a chapter in it. She hired pee Wee
- 54:58Speaker 2: Gascons to kill her boyfriend over a Dodge two eighty
- 55:06Speaker 2: Z that like he had given her as a gift
- 55:07Speaker 2: and they broke up and he took it back. So
- 55:10Speaker 2: she met with Peewe Gaston's had him killed and then
- 55:13Speaker 2: shoved into the trunk of that car and then pushed
- 55:15Speaker 2: the car into the river. But then she got arrested
- 55:17Speaker 2: for it, and so she spent most of my life
- 55:20Speaker 2: in prison. So that's the only other family member that
- 55:22Speaker 2: I knew.
- 55:23Speaker 1: Okay, the husband of your grandmother, what was his story?
- 55:30Speaker 2: There was no husband. Since I was a little kid,
- 55:32Speaker 2: she was. I mean, as far as I knew she
- 55:37Speaker 2: was asexual, and then I found out later she wasn't.
- 55:39Speaker 2: But but she no, I never there was never there
- 55:43Speaker 2: was a husband. I think his name was Floyd, but
- 55:45Speaker 2: I've never met him. I think, I don't think I've
- 55:48Speaker 2: seen pictures of him. These are the stories that my
- 55:50Speaker 2: mom used to tell me.
- 55:52Speaker 1: Okay, So your grandmother started the shop herself.
- 55:57Speaker 2: Her, I think her. I don't think it's her father.
- 56:02Speaker 2: I think it's her stepfather started Willie. It's a great name, really,
- 56:07Speaker 2: Grandpa Willy. He started the store and then it was
- 56:11Speaker 2: called Kirby Grocery, and then she took it over. You know,
- 56:16Speaker 2: years later. I just knew, like when I was born,
- 56:20Speaker 2: like I pictures of me as a baby in that store,
- 56:22Speaker 2: So I'm not sure how long she had had it
- 56:23Speaker 2: before then.
- 56:24Speaker 1: And what happened to the store.
- 56:27Speaker 2: I found out later on that had burned out. My
- 56:31Speaker 2: one of my cousins burned it down for insurance. Like
- 56:33Speaker 2: here's how my family went. My cousin, one of my
- 56:37Speaker 2: cousins and his sister got their mother my aunt hooked
- 56:40Speaker 2: on crack and then they all tried to burn down
- 56:44Speaker 2: the store for like some insurance money. But I didn't
- 56:47Speaker 2: know any of this. I took my wife, I think
- 56:49Speaker 2: we weren't even married yet, and we were going on
- 56:51Speaker 2: a trip through South Carolina and we reren in her
- 56:52Speaker 2: car and I was going to go show her, you know,
- 56:54Speaker 2: this visual history of my you know, my past, and
- 56:58Speaker 2: we got to the spot where the store was, it
- 57:00Speaker 2: was just ashes, Like I had no idea. That was
- 57:03Speaker 2: a devastating moment for me too, Like I just I
- 57:06Speaker 2: think you just always, like I, throughout my life, I
- 57:10Speaker 2: would check up on it, Like I would leave home
- 57:13Speaker 2: when I was like sixteen seventeen and hitchhike from Florida
- 57:16Speaker 2: up to South Carolina and kind of check in on
- 57:19Speaker 2: my grandmother and that you know, that little contingent in
- 57:24Speaker 2: my family, and so I like, I just assumed, I
- 57:29Speaker 2: guess like people do, that it was just there waiting
- 57:31Speaker 2: for me always, and then one day I went there
- 57:33Speaker 2: and it just wasn't there anymore. My only people that
- 57:36Speaker 2: I in my family really that I still have or
- 57:38Speaker 2: my sister, who I'm very close to. She's the only
- 57:43Speaker 2: person in my family that I'm really close to. My father,
- 57:47Speaker 2: who I have somewhat of a relationship but was certainly
- 57:50Speaker 2: not close. And that's it. I mean, really, I think
- 57:55Speaker 2: I've got a cousin that once every two years might
- 57:58Speaker 2: stop by, know, say hi at a show or something.
- 58:03Speaker 2: But yeah, that's pretty much my sister and sometimes my dad.
- 58:07Speaker 1: So did her father ever show up when you grew up.
- 58:11Speaker 2: My sister's father, Yeah, a couple of times. I actually
- 58:13Speaker 2: know him. He comes to shows all the time. He
- 58:15Speaker 2: lives in Chicago. He's a really nice guy. I see him,
- 58:19Speaker 2: you know, quite often. I my mother, So my mother
- 58:23Speaker 2: in law and my father in law are really really
- 58:28Speaker 2: been my family over the last twenty six years. In
- 58:31Speaker 2: my because I it was the first time I'd ever
- 58:35Speaker 2: had a relationship. Like when I moved to New York,
- 58:41Speaker 2: I remember like we would go on the road and
- 58:44Speaker 2: my wife would call and say, oh, you know, we're
- 58:46Speaker 2: going home in a couple of days. My mom went
- 58:48Speaker 2: by the apartment. She cleaned it up, and she like
- 58:50Speaker 2: restocked the groceries and she, you know, just stuff there.
- 58:53Speaker 2: And I was legitimately thinking like, like what's her fucking angle,
- 58:57Speaker 2: you know, like why would somebody do that? And she's like, well,
- 59:01Speaker 2: she loves us, and she's doing it because you know,
- 59:03Speaker 2: she cares about us. And I that was just foreign
- 59:07Speaker 2: to me. And I, you know, when I grew up,
- 59:09Speaker 2: my mother was young. She admitted, you know, she had
- 59:12Speaker 2: like I said, she had my sister at sixteen, had
- 59:13Speaker 2: me in twenty one. There's a whole part of her
- 59:15Speaker 2: youth that she felt like she missed out on. Then
- 59:18Speaker 2: when I was like twelve, she got cancer. They thought
- 59:20Speaker 2: she was going to die. They give her six months
- 59:22Speaker 2: to live, and she beat it, and then she got
- 59:24Speaker 2: it again, and then she beat it. And I think
- 59:26Speaker 2: that all the time in between those moments, she was
- 59:30Speaker 2: just out there making up for lost time. And so
- 59:33Speaker 2: that required her to be really really selfish at a
- 59:36Speaker 2: time when I needed her not to be. And so
- 59:39Speaker 2: I just never had the experience of someone maternal having
- 59:43Speaker 2: that kind of care, like maternal care and so ever.
- 59:48Speaker 2: You know, ever since, like my mother in law has
- 59:49Speaker 2: become one of my my dearest friends in the world.
- 59:52Speaker 2: We spend a lot of time together, just her and I.
- 59:53Speaker 2: We go to shows together, we go out to dinner,
- 59:55Speaker 2: we hang out all the time. And so I, you know,
- 59:58Speaker 2: got to got to really estee what I was like.
- 1:00:01Speaker 2: So it just my I never really mind my actually
- 1:00:05Speaker 2: with except my sister. I never really found it in
- 1:00:07Speaker 2: my actual family.
- 1:00:16Speaker 1: So when you were growing up, was your father in
- 1:00:18Speaker 1: the picture?
- 1:00:20Speaker 2: Now I found out litter. I mean, I think my
- 1:00:23Speaker 2: dad was scared of my mom in a lot of ways,
- 1:00:27Speaker 2: you know, they she was volatile, and I guess I
- 1:00:30Speaker 2: didn't know at the time, like I was, I didn't
- 1:00:32Speaker 2: have my dad's number. I didn't know why. And it
- 1:00:34Speaker 2: turned out because I had it, that my mom would
- 1:00:36Speaker 2: get it. Then she might start calling at three o'clock
- 1:00:38Speaker 2: in the morning, you know, and harassing him or whatever.
- 1:00:40Speaker 2: But I didn't know any of these things. I just
- 1:00:42Speaker 2: felt like my dad wasn't around because he just wasn't around.
- 1:00:45Speaker 2: And then I think I got I got to a
- 1:00:49Speaker 2: certain point where I learned how to live on my own.
- 1:00:52Speaker 2: I mean, like literally on my own. Like I left
- 1:00:54Speaker 2: home at like seventeen, I was living, you know, in
- 1:00:57Speaker 2: friends cars and on friends park benches. And the next
- 1:01:01Speaker 2: thing I knew that I was in a band. I
- 1:01:02Speaker 2: was living on friends couches, and then we were playing shows,
- 1:01:04Speaker 2: and then I never I learned how to not need someone,
- 1:01:09Speaker 2: and so then by the time my dad kind of
- 1:01:11Speaker 2: came back around, which honestly wasn't until I started to
- 1:01:14Speaker 2: do well in music. By the time he came back around,
- 1:01:19Speaker 2: I just didn't need that anymore. That wasn't what I
- 1:01:21Speaker 2: was looking for in a relationship, you know. And I
- 1:01:26Speaker 2: don't know, I'm sure I missed out on some things,
- 1:01:28Speaker 2: but I learned to be pretty self sufficient as well.
- 1:01:30Speaker 2: And I learned how to make a lot of lemonade
- 1:01:32Speaker 2: out of limits when I needed to.
- 1:01:33Speaker 1: Okay, you're close to your sister. Your father comes back
- 1:01:37Speaker 1: in the picture. You see your sister's father. Are they
- 1:01:43Speaker 1: a asking for money? B Do you support them?
- 1:01:48Speaker 2: No, My sister has once begrudgingly asked me for money
- 1:01:52Speaker 2: and then paid me back. My sister's father's never asked
- 1:01:57Speaker 2: me for anything at all. And I said this is
- 1:02:00Speaker 2: just a genuinely one of the best people that has
- 1:02:02Speaker 2: ever existed in the world. And I think, you know
- 1:02:04Speaker 2: her and I we're victims of a trauma together, you know,
- 1:02:09Speaker 2: like we went through a lot and through that with
- 1:02:11Speaker 2: our mother, you know, and she a lot, a lot
- 1:02:13Speaker 2: of kind of rage and violence and uncertainty and being
- 1:02:17Speaker 2: gone for days and days and us being alone and
- 1:02:19Speaker 2: hunkering down together. That makes you really really close, and
- 1:02:24Speaker 2: so the two of us, it drives her husband insane.
- 1:02:27Speaker 2: So my sister ran away from home at seventeen years
- 1:02:30Speaker 2: old married her twenty one year old boyfriend, which is
- 1:02:34Speaker 2: a recipe for disaster, except for the fact that they've
- 1:02:38Speaker 2: now been married for over forty years. They're one of
- 1:02:40Speaker 2: the closest couples I know. They have kids, their kids
- 1:02:42Speaker 2: have kids, They're a great success story. And so it
- 1:02:47Speaker 2: drives them insane because when the two of us get
- 1:02:49Speaker 2: together and we just start telling these stories about our
- 1:02:52Speaker 2: childhood but with a very nonchalant kind of thing, and
- 1:02:57Speaker 2: he's just like, the fuck, where the fuck did you look?
- 1:02:59Speaker 2: What is this your life? You know? So we both
- 1:03:02Speaker 2: realized that we kind of we kind of share that.
- 1:03:05Speaker 1: So how old were you when you moved from South
- 1:03:07Speaker 1: Carolina to Florida.
- 1:03:10Speaker 2: Let's see. I think I was in I want to say,
- 1:03:16Speaker 2: six or seventh grade middle school.
- 1:03:18Speaker 1: So you're living with your mother. Grandmother is quite a character.
- 1:03:23Speaker 1: Father's not around. Does this impact your identity in school? Yeah?
- 1:03:29Speaker 2: I think so. I mean in a lot of ways.
- 1:03:30Speaker 2: I you know, my mom at the time. So my mom,
- 1:03:34Speaker 2: you know, single, So she's dating a lot of guys
- 1:03:36Speaker 2: and then kind of become we become whatever she was
- 1:03:41Speaker 2: dating at the time. Does that make sense? So like
- 1:03:44Speaker 2: when she's dating a biker, we're all bikers right now,
- 1:03:47Speaker 2: and she's dating like a businessman, then we're all, you know,
- 1:03:50Speaker 2: we need to come on, act like people. Come on.
- 1:03:54Speaker 2: I think, you know, having all of this weird turmoil
- 1:03:56Speaker 2: at home with my mom, I was acting out a
- 1:04:00Speaker 2: lot in school. I didn't it really hit me. I
- 1:04:05Speaker 2: think when I was in like ninth grade and a
- 1:04:07Speaker 2: guidance counselor pulled me aside and had me come into
- 1:04:11Speaker 2: her office and said, so, you know, you can answer
- 1:04:14Speaker 2: this however you want, but are your parents alcoholics? And
- 1:04:19Speaker 2: I was like, I don't. My mom drinks a lot,
- 1:04:22Speaker 2: you know, and she just kind of pegged me as
- 1:04:25Speaker 2: this very this is this is this type of personality,
- 1:04:29Speaker 2: the type personality comes from this kind of a situation.
- 1:04:32Speaker 2: I was definitely every I went to a lot of schools.
- 1:04:36Speaker 2: We moved around a lot within Florida. But every school
- 1:04:39Speaker 2: I went to, I was the kid who was squandering
- 1:04:42Speaker 2: his potential, you know, because I was the kid who
- 1:04:46Speaker 2: tested through the roof whenever we do aptitude tests. But
- 1:04:50Speaker 2: I never applied myself in anything whatsoever. I you know,
- 1:04:53Speaker 2: when I showed up at all, I would I was
- 1:04:56Speaker 2: more disruptive than anything else. I would already like starting
- 1:05:01Speaker 2: to play music. I had someone I ran into that
- 1:05:04Speaker 2: was in a class with me in ninth grade that
- 1:05:07Speaker 2: I was explaining to my algebra teacher that I didn't
- 1:05:10Speaker 2: need algebra because I was going to be a musician
- 1:05:12Speaker 2: and so I didn't really have to worry about that.
- 1:05:14Speaker 2: And then she's like, well, who's going to count all
- 1:05:16Speaker 2: your money? And I was like, my accountant is going
- 1:05:19Speaker 2: to count all my money. It turns out I was
- 1:05:21Speaker 2: right about that.
- 1:05:25Speaker 1: So you were that kid? Did you have friends? Were
- 1:05:28Speaker 1: you popular? Were the loner or the guy who fought?
- 1:05:31Speaker 1: What kind of kid were you like in school?
- 1:05:33Speaker 2: I was all of those things like I didn't have
- 1:05:35Speaker 2: a clique, but I got along very easily, which I
- 1:05:39Speaker 2: think is another trade of children of alcoholics. I got
- 1:05:42Speaker 2: along very easily with every group. So like on a
- 1:05:45Speaker 2: Saturday night, I could go to pretty much any group
- 1:05:47Speaker 2: of party and I would be able to come in.
- 1:05:49Speaker 2: I knew people pretty much everywhere there. But like you know,
- 1:05:53Speaker 2: this group of friends on Saturday afternoons would all get
- 1:05:56Speaker 2: together and meet up and go to the beach. I
- 1:05:57Speaker 2: was never part of that group, but they would get
- 1:05:59Speaker 2: together on Friday night and go to movie. I wasn't
- 1:06:01Speaker 2: part of that group. But if there was like a
- 1:06:03Speaker 2: general collection, I was always welcome in any of those studies.
- 1:06:07Speaker 2: You know.
- 1:06:08Speaker 1: And at that point you're in high school, was there
- 1:06:10Speaker 1: enough money that if you needed something your mother could
- 1:06:13Speaker 1: buy it for you. It was always like an issue
- 1:06:16Speaker 1: having money to get shit.
- 1:06:18Speaker 2: We had money, but it was mom. It wasn't she
- 1:06:21Speaker 2: was big on spending money on herself. Honestly, like my
- 1:06:24Speaker 2: drives my wife insane because she'll talk about like she
- 1:06:26Speaker 2: did this, and I was like, yeah, I never get
- 1:06:27Speaker 2: to do that. I never get to do this. I
- 1:06:28Speaker 2: never got to get this. I was I think it
- 1:06:34Speaker 2: manifested itself a lot too, and like I got into
- 1:06:37Speaker 2: a lot of trouble. I got arrested quite a bit.
- 1:06:40Speaker 2: I started to really get like my first I got
- 1:06:43Speaker 2: arrested for the first time ever for arm to burglary.
- 1:06:47Speaker 1: Okay, tell us this story.
- 1:06:49Speaker 2: It sounds worse than it is. Honestly it was. It's
- 1:06:52Speaker 2: the thing where we would break into people's homes that
- 1:06:55Speaker 2: we knew and rearrange their furniture. You know, we never
- 1:06:59Speaker 2: really stole anything, well I can't. Sometimes we would like
- 1:07:01Speaker 2: steal a beer. You know, it was we And honest
- 1:07:05Speaker 2: when I say this, Bob, I want you to understand now.
- 1:07:08Speaker 2: I realized that that if you're a homeowner and you
- 1:07:10Speaker 2: come home and that's how it's you feel violated, you
- 1:07:13Speaker 2: know what I mean, Like, it's a horrible if I
- 1:07:16Speaker 2: grew up.
- 1:07:16Speaker 1: Too, is the same thing. One time we went away
- 1:07:18Speaker 1: and somebody came in stole Magical Mystery Tour which had
- 1:07:22Speaker 1: just come out, and my father's changed first, nothing else.
- 1:07:26Speaker 1: They just wanted to break And I know exactly what
- 1:07:27Speaker 1: you're talking about. But if it's armed, Rob, where's the gun?
- 1:07:31Speaker 2: Well, the gun was in the home. And honestly, it
- 1:07:34Speaker 2: was a very scary moment when I think about it,
- 1:07:37Speaker 2: because the guy that when the guys I was with
- 1:07:39Speaker 2: found this gun, was kind of fucking around with it.
- 1:07:42Speaker 2: He's like, no, there's nothing in here, and he was
- 1:07:44Speaker 2: pointed at me and I'm like, dude, just don't whatever,
- 1:07:46Speaker 2: I don't trust it, don't point it at me. And
- 1:07:47Speaker 2: he went like this and he shot it and it
- 1:07:50Speaker 2: shot through the through the wall, and I was like,
- 1:07:53Speaker 2: holy fuck, and he put the gun back. So because
- 1:07:56Speaker 2: there now there this was a break in, but a
- 1:07:59Speaker 2: gun was involved, which made it an armed burglar not
- 1:08:03Speaker 2: an armed robbery. There's a very big difference. And so
- 1:08:06Speaker 2: I got arrested. I remember, I remember what this is
- 1:08:10Speaker 2: one of the few moments where I and I think
- 1:08:12Speaker 2: it was again because my mother was dating a respectable guy,
- 1:08:15Speaker 2: and so because of that, he went the guy she
- 1:08:17Speaker 2: was dating on my court date to find out what
- 1:08:21Speaker 2: my fate was going to be, went out and got
- 1:08:24Speaker 2: me like a suit, the jacket and a tie, you know,
- 1:08:27Speaker 2: court suit, and then then let me know as we're
- 1:08:32Speaker 2: about to leave that they just were holding on him
- 1:08:35Speaker 2: to make me feel nervous because they had already gotten
- 1:08:38Speaker 2: the word back. I wasn't going to jail I had
- 1:08:40Speaker 2: a certain amount of community hours and this thing on
- 1:08:44Speaker 2: my record up until I was like eighteen, and then
- 1:08:45Speaker 2: that was the only thing that was going to happen.
- 1:08:47Speaker 2: And I just remember, like I still had the picture
- 1:08:49Speaker 2: of me in that suit with this look on my
- 1:08:52Speaker 2: face and just like ah, like you know, and that
- 1:08:56Speaker 2: was one of the I think. I mean, I'm not sure.
- 1:08:59Speaker 2: I don't think that was a seminal point in my life.
- 1:09:01Speaker 2: I mean, I didn't change anything at that point, but
- 1:09:03Speaker 2: it was definitely it's a vivid memory that I what.
- 1:09:06Speaker 1: Did your mother say when you got arrested.
- 1:09:10Speaker 2: I don't think she was surprised. I mean I wasn't
- 1:09:13Speaker 2: hanging out with the like you know, when your mom
- 1:09:15Speaker 2: always tells you, you keep hanging out with those guys,
- 1:09:17Speaker 2: you're gonna you're gonna wind up dead or in jail.
- 1:09:19Speaker 2: I mean she knew that, and luckily it was jail.
- 1:09:25Speaker 1: Well, you mentioned a number of rests. What were the
- 1:09:27Speaker 1: other arrests?
- 1:09:29Speaker 2: Uh? I got arrested once for Steele in a car.
- 1:09:34Speaker 2: I gotta I almost got to wrest with once for
- 1:09:36Speaker 2: Steele in a house, which is kind of weird, like
- 1:09:41Speaker 2: somebody had like gone on vacation and So the neighbor
- 1:09:45Speaker 2: was a friend of mine, and the neighbor like broke
- 1:09:47Speaker 2: into the house and they just but through a fucking
- 1:09:50Speaker 2: rager of a party. I mean, like cars around the block,
- 1:09:54Speaker 2: like not subtle in any way whatsoever. And I attend
- 1:09:58Speaker 2: this party. But then I wake up and me and
- 1:10:02Speaker 2: this girl are like the only people in the house,
- 1:10:04Speaker 2: and there's cops beating on the bedroom door. So then
- 1:10:07Speaker 2: it's just me, and I'm like, so I just tell
- 1:10:12Speaker 2: the cops that I'm from Alabama, that I just came
- 1:10:15Speaker 2: in to meet a friend, you know, and I'll go
- 1:10:17Speaker 2: get my friend. And I went out the door and
- 1:10:19Speaker 2: I just ran as far as I could. And that's
- 1:10:22Speaker 2: the last I've heard of that situation.
- 1:10:25Speaker 1: Okay, so you ended up dropping out of high school,
- 1:10:28Speaker 1: tell us about that.
- 1:10:30Speaker 2: I dropped out of high school. I got my ged
- 1:10:33Speaker 2: only because I thought that I was going to join
- 1:10:35Speaker 2: the army. Like I went to the army recruitment place
- 1:10:40Speaker 2: I took I guess what's called the ASPAB, which is
- 1:10:43Speaker 2: just like your placement for you know, your aptitude tests
- 1:10:48Speaker 2: to join the army. Turns out it's not a it's
- 1:10:51Speaker 2: not a very high bar. And I fucking aced it.
- 1:10:54Speaker 2: I got like a ninety nine or something on it,
- 1:10:56Speaker 2: and it was incredible, and they we're very excited, but
- 1:11:01Speaker 2: they said, you know you, but you have to have
- 1:11:03Speaker 2: a high school diploma, so you have to go. So
- 1:11:05Speaker 2: I went. I didn't I didn't take the class or anything.
- 1:11:07Speaker 2: I just went and got a ged and then luckily
- 1:11:11Speaker 2: in that time, I met this group of guys. They
- 1:11:16Speaker 2: were older, they were seniors in high school age, and
- 1:11:19Speaker 2: I was in freshman in high school age, maybe a junior,
- 1:11:22Speaker 2: because at this point, at some point I left school.
- 1:11:26Speaker 2: But then I tried to come back, like in the
- 1:11:29Speaker 2: tenth Like I left like maybe the beginning of tenth grade,
- 1:11:31Speaker 2: and I tried to come back by the beginning of
- 1:11:32Speaker 2: junior year kind of thing. But it didn't last long,
- 1:11:36Speaker 2: and I wound up, you know, meeting these guys. One
- 1:11:38Speaker 2: of them was graduating that year and going to Berkeley
- 1:11:44Speaker 2: the next year.
- 1:11:45Speaker 1: Berkeley College of Music and Music.
- 1:11:48Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Berkeley ee of Boston that my son later
- 1:11:52Speaker 2: graduated from. And so it was through them that like
- 1:11:59Speaker 2: I started like learning how to He would give me
- 1:12:02Speaker 2: all of his music books, so I would learn like
- 1:12:04Speaker 2: chord structure and some music theory, you know, mixed with
- 1:12:07Speaker 2: you know, with practical books of how to play music
- 1:12:09Speaker 2: and teaching myself song by song, you know, every chord
- 1:12:13Speaker 2: and every notation in this song that I know, and
- 1:12:15Speaker 2: then this song and you know, and just keep doing
- 1:12:17Speaker 2: that and doing that. I wasn't really writing yet. I
- 1:12:20Speaker 2: was singing songs that these guys were writing, or we
- 1:12:22Speaker 2: were doing covers and playing like eighteen and underclubs in Florida,
- 1:12:27Speaker 2: you know, those kind of a and it just I mean,
- 1:12:33Speaker 2: that was just it. That was I felt like this
- 1:12:35Speaker 2: was what I wanted to do. I knew it immediately
- 1:12:38Speaker 2: from the first time that I just started playing. I
- 1:12:41Speaker 2: was like this, they just spoke to me, you know,
- 1:12:44Speaker 2: And yeah, I mean I think it wasn't for that.
- 1:12:47Speaker 2: I mean, honestly, I was the only reason I wanted
- 1:12:50Speaker 2: to join the Army was because when you were in
- 1:12:52Speaker 2: when we were in high school, where did you grow up?
- 1:12:55Speaker 1: Connecticut?
- 1:12:56Speaker 2: All right? So I don't know if they did this
- 1:12:57Speaker 2: in Connecticut, but like there would be a day once
- 1:13:01Speaker 2: a year where you go out to like the pavilion
- 1:13:04Speaker 2: or wherever outdoors, you know, lunch section or maybe in
- 1:13:07Speaker 2: the cafeteria, and there was a band set up, like
- 1:13:10Speaker 2: a full band. They're playing like you're like hits from today,
- 1:13:15Speaker 2: but they're all in Army fatigues and they're all the
- 1:13:17Speaker 2: Army band.
- 1:13:18Speaker 1: You know, I went to high school in the Vietnam era.
- 1:13:21Speaker 1: Believe me, that wasn't happening.
- 1:13:23Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, okay, So this was like their recruitment catch.
- 1:13:26Speaker 2: It was like, hey, look how fucking cool the Army is. Man.
- 1:13:29Speaker 2: We're laid back, We're just like you. We're playing Terrence
- 1:13:32Speaker 2: Trent Darby man, you know, like we're fucking we're playing
- 1:13:35Speaker 2: the cure like this is where your people. You can
- 1:13:38Speaker 2: come to the Army. You want to do this? And
- 1:13:40Speaker 2: I was like, oh that shit worked on me immediately.
- 1:13:43Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I could be this this, but
- 1:13:45Speaker 2: I can all but I can join the Army and
- 1:13:46Speaker 2: and have a you know, figure out what I'm going
- 1:13:48Speaker 2: to do with my life and my even though my dad,
- 1:13:51Speaker 2: who was in the Army, the only piece of advice
- 1:13:52Speaker 2: he ever gave me was never joined the army. And
- 1:13:55Speaker 2: I was this close to. I was this close to
- 1:13:57Speaker 2: doing it. Like those recruitment videos, man, they really do work.
- 1:14:00Speaker 2: If you're out of options.
- 1:14:02Speaker 1: Usually, once they get their hooks in you, they don't
- 1:14:05Speaker 1: let you go that easily. Usually they track you down
- 1:14:08Speaker 1: to try to join. When you said you weren't going
- 1:14:10Speaker 1: to join, they keep coming after you.
- 1:14:12Speaker 2: I think it's a lot easier to track you now.
- 1:14:14Speaker 2: Well now it's a lot easier in general, but it's
- 1:14:16Speaker 2: a lot easier if you haven't addressed like you know,
- 1:14:19Speaker 2: I was pretty fluid at the time.
- 1:14:28Speaker 1: Okay, So where did this music thing start?
- 1:14:33Speaker 2: I really don't know. I mean, I I remember, like
- 1:14:38Speaker 2: my sister saying that when I was like ten, eight
- 1:14:41Speaker 2: to ten, I would I would like write little songs
- 1:14:45Speaker 2: and I would put on little shows for my parents,
- 1:14:47Speaker 2: you know, or for my sister for like cause it
- 1:14:50Speaker 2: was okay, this is another story that's going to sound satisfyed,
- 1:14:53Speaker 2: but I there's no other way to tell it. So,
- 1:14:56Speaker 2: like one of the things was, like, you know, growing up,
- 1:14:58Speaker 2: when I was in like, you know, eighth grade, beginning
- 1:15:02Speaker 2: ninth grade, my mom, you know, she'd be out, she
- 1:15:04Speaker 2: would meet some guys. She'd bring them home and then
- 1:15:07Speaker 2: wake me up at you know, one in the morning
- 1:15:11Speaker 2: to like keep him company and like go play a
- 1:15:14Speaker 2: song on your keyboard. So I'm like performing for some
- 1:15:17Speaker 2: stranger while my mom goes and changes I goes. It
- 1:15:20Speaker 2: was a weird kind of thing, but it it gave
- 1:15:23Speaker 2: me the sense of like, oh wow, like this is
- 1:15:26Speaker 2: this is where my mom has her pride in me,
- 1:15:29Speaker 2: you know. And so when I perform that mean you
- 1:15:33Speaker 2: know that that's I get this rush of endorphins of like, oh,
- 1:15:36Speaker 2: you know, I feel and that never went away, that
- 1:15:40Speaker 2: you know, that need for you know, for that I
- 1:15:44Speaker 2: that what is it? Robin Williams caught it like the
- 1:15:49Speaker 2: the kind of love that you can only the kind
- 1:15:50Speaker 2: of a hug that you can only get from a stranger,
- 1:15:53Speaker 2: you know, like I learned to I learned to really
- 1:15:55Speaker 2: crave that, uh during that time. But I think it was,
- 1:15:59Speaker 2: you know, maybe the fact that it was these guys
- 1:16:03Speaker 2: that I met to me they were really cool. Like
- 1:16:05Speaker 2: they weren't degenerates like my other group of friends. They
- 1:16:08Speaker 2: were they still had fun, They still were out drinking,
- 1:16:10Speaker 2: they were partying, they were doing but they there was
- 1:16:12Speaker 2: a wholesome noess about it, and there was a camaraderie
- 1:16:14Speaker 2: and a fraternal order to it that was really really cool,
- 1:16:17Speaker 2: you know. And uh and so and they like when
- 1:16:21Speaker 2: I would talk about, you know, well, we're gonna go
- 1:16:23Speaker 2: out and we're gonna you know, like we're gonna vandalize this,
- 1:16:26Speaker 2: and we're gonna do this there would they looked at
- 1:16:28Speaker 2: me with like such disappointment, like, oh, come on, man,
- 1:16:30Speaker 2: that's not not cool, you know, And I wanted to
- 1:16:33Speaker 2: I wanted them to like me, you know, this older
- 1:16:35Speaker 2: group of guys that thought I was cool. I wanted
- 1:16:37Speaker 2: them to like me. So I think, you know, just
- 1:16:41Speaker 2: like everybody else, I you could trace everything back to
- 1:16:44Speaker 2: needing some you get something you need from from a situation,
- 1:16:49Speaker 2: and you keep chasing that feeling, you know. And so
- 1:16:52Speaker 2: music really I felt I felt that like that that
- 1:16:55Speaker 2: little missing piece they kept every time I was around music,
- 1:16:58Speaker 2: every time I was playing music. It kind of filled
- 1:17:01Speaker 2: that hole for me a little bit, and still does.
- 1:17:04Speaker 1: Honestly, what about music lessons learning how to play the piano,
- 1:17:07Speaker 1: the guitaris.
- 1:17:09Speaker 2: I wish that I had taken them, honestly. I mean,
- 1:17:11Speaker 2: I I'm a pretty good piano player. I wish that
- 1:17:15Speaker 2: I had taken piano because it wouldn't take me as
- 1:17:18Speaker 2: long to get it, you know, to get better at it.
- 1:17:20Speaker 2: I wish I had taken guitar, but I'm like a
- 1:17:24Speaker 2: really shitty guitar player. Like at some point, if I'm
- 1:17:27Speaker 2: writing a song on the guitar, I might have to
- 1:17:30Speaker 2: put it down and go to the piano because I hit,
- 1:17:32Speaker 2: I hit a chord that I know that I want
- 1:17:33Speaker 2: to get to, but I don't know it on the
- 1:17:36Speaker 2: on the guitar. You know, Like, now I've got it
- 1:17:38Speaker 2: down to a science where I could play in front
- 1:17:40Speaker 2: of twenty thousand people, and if I know the song,
- 1:17:43Speaker 2: I will fool even you to look like I know
- 1:17:45Speaker 2: what the hell I'm doing, you know, but I tell everybody.
- 1:17:50Speaker 2: You know, when you always get asked questions about advice
- 1:17:52Speaker 2: for young musicians things like that, it's like, no matter
- 1:17:54Speaker 2: how uncool it seems, go take the lessons, learn the road,
- 1:17:59Speaker 2: you know, like learn and learn all of these basic
- 1:18:01Speaker 2: things that's going to make your life so much easier.
- 1:18:04Speaker 2: And no matter how cool the guitarist, start on the piano,
- 1:18:06Speaker 2: because if you start on the piano, you can pivot
- 1:18:08Speaker 2: to almost any instrument because the music makes more sense
- 1:18:13Speaker 2: to you. It's laid out on the piano the same
- 1:18:14Speaker 2: way it is on the page. And you know, if
- 1:18:16Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying, like there's a there's a
- 1:18:18Speaker 2: certain sense where the skills are all just right there
- 1:18:19Speaker 2: in front of you.
- 1:18:21Speaker 1: Okay, you're gonna go in the army. You meet these
- 1:18:25Speaker 1: guys going to Berkeley. So what's the next step. How
- 1:18:29Speaker 1: do you ultimately perform?
- 1:18:32Speaker 2: Well, we play a lot of like, you know, friends parties,
- 1:18:35Speaker 2: Like I said, these kind of like.
- 1:18:38Speaker 1: And what's your role? Are you the front guy.
- 1:18:40Speaker 2: On the front guy? Like? Okay? Our songs are like Hunger,
- 1:18:44Speaker 2: like the Wolf Lady in Red's Tall Cool and remember
- 1:18:51Speaker 2: the Robert Plant solo Tall Cool One. I'm only saying
- 1:18:55Speaker 2: these to give you a sense of reference of the time,
- 1:18:57Speaker 2: right this absolutely these kind of eighty songs mixed in
- 1:19:00Speaker 2: with stuff like old time rock and roll and things
- 1:19:02Speaker 2: that we ass like we gotta we gotta gig one time.
- 1:19:07Speaker 2: One of the fun of the times I quit school
- 1:19:08Speaker 2: is because all Right, the keyboard player, his family knew
- 1:19:16Speaker 2: how had family friends that owned a sheraton in Vero
- 1:19:19Speaker 2: Beach and needed a band to play by the pool.
- 1:19:24Speaker 2: And so we were the pool band in this sheraton
- 1:19:27Speaker 2: in Vero Beach. And then we got to stay at
- 1:19:29Speaker 2: the hotel and we imploded within a week. Within a week,
- 1:19:33Speaker 2: we had figured out how to break in to steal
- 1:19:35Speaker 2: all the liquor from the places I was. I was,
- 1:19:38Speaker 2: I was sleeping with the owner's daughter. Like the whole
- 1:19:42Speaker 2: thing just fell around us. And I remember the owner
- 1:19:46Speaker 2: she had like broken English, and she was like pulled
- 1:19:50Speaker 2: us in and they're just so disappointed and yelling at
- 1:19:52Speaker 2: us across the dead and she's just going, you you
- 1:19:55Speaker 2: are not the stars. Maybe one day, one day you
- 1:19:57Speaker 2: will be the stars. But right now, you are not
- 1:19:59Speaker 2: the stars. And we got fired from that. So we
- 1:20:03Speaker 2: were doing these kind of gigs and then I like
- 1:20:09Speaker 2: they went off. We had a band called Tidal Wave,
- 1:20:12Speaker 2: which was a we would play metal clubs and it
- 1:20:17Speaker 2: was all like punk versions of like surf songs. So
- 1:20:21Speaker 2: it was like like the covers would be like Wily Bully,
- 1:20:24Speaker 2: but like these like amped up versions of Willly Bully.
- 1:20:27Speaker 2: And it was a bunch of these guys from Jersey
- 1:20:29Speaker 2: that had come down. So this was like after the
- 1:20:32Speaker 2: guy went to Berkeley the first year, he came back
- 1:20:33Speaker 2: in the summer and brought some guys from Berkeley back.
- 1:20:35Speaker 2: We started Tidal Wave, these guys from Jersey that had
- 1:20:38Speaker 2: never been to the fucking beach, writing all these songs
- 1:20:40Speaker 2: about like Johnny's Got a Wave and me and my
- 1:20:43Speaker 2: surfer girl. They were all these you know, and we
- 1:20:45Speaker 2: would play these metal band metal clubs, and the metal
- 1:20:48Speaker 2: clubs would love us because we had so much energy.
- 1:20:50Speaker 2: We were just fucking running and jumping on the bar
- 1:20:52Speaker 2: and just like fucking ah, and they just thought it was,
- 1:20:54Speaker 2: you know, the greatest thing in the world. They didn't
- 1:20:56Speaker 2: like the music, and so we had that going. Eventually,
- 1:21:01Speaker 2: that whole thing, you know, it was it was just
- 1:21:02Speaker 2: kind of dependent on them when they were home for
- 1:21:04Speaker 2: the summers and things like that. And so I started
- 1:21:07Speaker 2: to just get jobs, like normal jobs, restaurants, a lot
- 1:21:10Speaker 2: of construction in Florida, like working as a roofer and
- 1:21:13Speaker 2: drywall and painting and those kind of things. And then
- 1:21:19Speaker 2: I started writing again on my piano. I was hitchhiking
- 1:21:21Speaker 2: a little bit here and there. I had this little
- 1:21:24Speaker 2: keyboard that I still have over here that I was
- 1:21:27Speaker 2: like on the I remember, like three o'clock in the morning,
- 1:21:28Speaker 2: I would sit on the side of the road my
- 1:21:30Speaker 2: little keyboard, you know, working out songs. Three Am was
- 1:21:32Speaker 2: a song that came during that time. And so I
- 1:21:37Speaker 2: meet with a couple of guys that are local guys
- 1:21:39Speaker 2: who we started talking about starting a band. I really
- 1:21:46Speaker 2: really started to get into the idea. I started writing
- 1:21:48Speaker 2: a few more songs, and we put an ad out
- 1:21:50Speaker 2: in the local jam magazine, which was like the regional
- 1:21:54Speaker 2: you know, rock magazine for a drummer. I had met Brian,
- 1:22:02Speaker 2: our bass player already, this guy John and Jay who
- 1:22:06Speaker 2: are these two guitar players when we'd just gone to Berkeley,
- 1:22:11Speaker 2: and Paul, who later again became my best friend, who
- 1:22:14Speaker 2: was our drummer for twelve years, answered the ad and
- 1:22:19Speaker 2: that was how Matchbox twenty we were tabbing the Secret
- 1:22:23Speaker 2: at the time. And then that was like that was
- 1:22:26Speaker 2: when we were the first like band where it was
- 1:22:28Speaker 2: like we were doing gigs on the rag. We were
- 1:22:30Speaker 2: playing regionally. We'd get the band and trailer and go
- 1:22:32Speaker 2: play gigs in Tennessee and go play gigs in North
- 1:22:34Speaker 2: Carolina and South Carolina. We had become like kind of
- 1:22:39Speaker 2: the big local band, which doesn't mean a lot, It
- 1:22:42Speaker 2: just means that like sometimes if like Hoody and the Blowfish,
- 1:22:45Speaker 2: you know, they were just blowing up at the time,
- 1:22:47Speaker 2: if they would come through town and didn't have an opener,
- 1:22:50Speaker 2: we would be the band that they would get called
- 1:22:52Speaker 2: to come in and open up. So we get to
- 1:22:53Speaker 2: do it like we put like we opened for Ween
- 1:22:57Speaker 2: one time, which is great, we opened for Cake like
- 1:22:59Speaker 2: there's things great, you know, for us, and then that
- 1:23:05Speaker 2: band imploded as bands due but luckily the three of
- 1:23:12Speaker 2: us still me, Brian and Paul still kind of shared
- 1:23:14Speaker 2: a vision. And then that's when I meet Matt Serlenik,
- 1:23:20Speaker 2: who at the time it just had some success with
- 1:23:24Speaker 2: Collective Soul and was looking for a new band. His
- 1:23:29Speaker 2: brother went to college in Orlando, saw our band. Matt
- 1:23:34Speaker 2: came to check us out. He signed me to a
- 1:23:39Speaker 2: production deal, and then Atlantic Records wanted to sign me
- 1:23:45Speaker 2: to deal through him, and I was a little scared
- 1:23:52Speaker 2: to sign my own deal. So my only prerequisite was
- 1:23:56Speaker 2: that I would do it, but I had to do
- 1:23:57Speaker 2: it with Paul and Brian. So the three of us
- 1:24:02Speaker 2: had a deal before we had a name, and then
- 1:24:06Speaker 2: we uh, we signed. We signed the deal. We find
- 1:24:11Speaker 2: we go in a search, We find these two guitar
- 1:24:13Speaker 2: players that that we really like and we get along with.
- 1:24:15Speaker 2: And then I it became very litigious this situation with
- 1:24:20Speaker 2: the other two guitar players. I didn't understand copyrights, and
- 1:24:24Speaker 2: so one of the guys in this band would take
- 1:24:26Speaker 2: all these songs that I had written, draw up copyright
- 1:24:28Speaker 2: forms and bring them in for us all to sign,
- 1:24:32Speaker 2: and so I just would sign away, you know, three
- 1:24:36Speaker 2: quarters to you know, to everybody else in the band.
- 1:24:39Speaker 2: And so they were kind of holding those songs over
- 1:24:43Speaker 2: me when I got the deal, and like, we're gonna
- 1:24:45Speaker 2: sue you because these are our things. And and so
- 1:24:48Speaker 2: the only thing I could think to do was I
- 1:24:51Speaker 2: just wrote another record, so like and thank god, because
- 1:24:55Speaker 2: that first record wasn't great. Like they always say that
- 1:24:58Speaker 2: you have your whole life up to write your first
- 1:25:01Speaker 2: record and that's why the second record is so hard.
- 1:25:03Speaker 2: But in all honesty, Bob, I wrote my first record
- 1:25:06Speaker 2: was my second record, and I had six months to
- 1:25:08Speaker 2: write it. So we would just spend all of our
- 1:25:12Speaker 2: time because we knew that we didn't have a lot
- 1:25:14Speaker 2: of money to be in a studio, even though we
- 1:25:16Speaker 2: had more than we thought, like we got like four
- 1:25:18Speaker 2: hundred thousand dollars or something, you know, for the deal
- 1:25:20Speaker 2: to go make the record. We spend it all almost
- 1:25:22Speaker 2: all in the record in gear, but we wanted to
- 1:25:25Speaker 2: be able to step in there, so we would spend
- 1:25:27Speaker 2: hours every day in like a actual shed, shedding these
- 1:25:31Speaker 2: songs so that we could play them live. I would
- 1:25:33Speaker 2: write a new song, we'd bring it into the band.
- 1:25:35Speaker 2: We would learn that song so we could play it
- 1:25:38Speaker 2: off book like, you know, not spend too much time
- 1:25:40Speaker 2: in the studio. And so by the time we went
- 1:25:43Speaker 2: in the studio that that whole first yourself or someone
- 1:25:46Speaker 2: like you was all written. And the only thing that
- 1:25:48Speaker 2: I kept was three Am, just because that song meant
- 1:25:50Speaker 2: a lot to me. And you know, it's funny is
- 1:25:53Speaker 2: to this day like Pooky from Matchbox all them any
- 1:25:58Speaker 2: proceeds he gets heat because he thinks it's ridiculous. He
- 1:26:00Speaker 2: didn't write it. So any proceeds gets from three Am,
- 1:26:04Speaker 2: he gives it to charity.
- 1:26:08Speaker 1: Okay, let's go back. You signed a deal with Matt Surletic,
- 1:26:16Speaker 1: yes or no?
- 1:26:17Speaker 2: Yes, a production deal?
- 1:26:19Speaker 1: Okay? Was that just you or was that the three
- 1:26:24Speaker 1: of you?
- 1:26:26Speaker 2: It was the three of us? It was all around
- 1:26:27Speaker 2: the same time. So we signed with them. We signed
- 1:26:30Speaker 2: with Atlantic Atlantic. It turns out, so Matt was going
- 1:26:34Speaker 2: to produce the record. Atlantic Records wasn't as comfortable about
- 1:26:40Speaker 2: giving these three guys from Florida four hundred thousand dollars,
- 1:26:45Speaker 2: but they were more comfortable doing it through Matt Serletic
- 1:26:49Speaker 2: and his production companies since they had, you know, a
- 1:26:52Speaker 2: collective Soul was on Atlantic at the time, so they
- 1:26:54Speaker 2: had already had some success with Matt. So that was
- 1:26:56Speaker 2: where the production deal had come in. Was they weren't
- 1:27:00Speaker 2: ready to secure a straight deal with US in Atlantic,
- 1:27:02Speaker 2: but they were willing to do it as a production deal.
- 1:27:04Speaker 1: Okay, Traditionally traditional production deal, you're signed to production company.
- 1:27:08Speaker 1: Production makes a deal with Atlantic and they take a whack,
- 1:27:12Speaker 1: so the act actually makes less. Is that what happened
- 1:27:15Speaker 1: throughout your career.
- 1:27:18Speaker 2: Up into a certain point, Like I mean, Matt still
- 1:27:20Speaker 2: gets money whether he produces a record or not, that's
- 1:27:23Speaker 2: always in the deal. But he found us, and then
- 1:27:24Speaker 2: that's that we agreed. That's why you agree on those
- 1:27:28Speaker 2: things early on, because you're hoping for the success, not
- 1:27:31Speaker 2: that when the success comes later you're like, oh, we
- 1:27:32Speaker 2: have to read you know. But you know, to Matt's credit,
- 1:27:36Speaker 2: he did change his payment fee so that because it
- 1:27:43Speaker 2: turns out like if we were splitting money and he
- 1:27:45Speaker 2: was getting paid like on the gross, he would make
- 1:27:48Speaker 2: more money than any individual member, right. And when we
- 1:27:53Speaker 2: kind of sat and talked with him, because it man
- 1:27:55Speaker 2: had him with us for many years. Matt restructured his
- 1:27:58Speaker 2: deal so that he was just a six member and
- 1:28:01Speaker 2: then everything we do would be equal. And that was
- 1:28:05Speaker 2: fine because you know, we were and now this is
- 1:28:07Speaker 2: the time, you know, we were playing live. We're making
- 1:28:08Speaker 2: most of our money live and merchandising and publishing. That
- 1:28:12Speaker 2: was money he wasn't seeing. So that was I thought
- 1:28:15Speaker 2: that was really big of him.
- 1:28:17Speaker 1: Okay, how about the publishing? Do you own all the publishing?
- 1:28:21Speaker 2: I own what I haven't sold?
- 1:28:24Speaker 1: Was that a little bit slower? When you made the
- 1:28:26Speaker 1: deal with Matsroletic and ultimately Link, did you have to
- 1:28:29Speaker 1: give up any publishing?
- 1:28:31Speaker 2: No? None.
- 1:28:32Speaker 1: Okay, so you own a one hundred percent of the public
- 1:28:34Speaker 1: machine you have sold some of that?
- 1:28:37Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm now I've made a deal with Roundhill where
- 1:28:40Speaker 2: I sold off like seventy percent. I still retain thirty
- 1:28:44Speaker 2: because I still want to participate in success, you know.
- 1:28:47Speaker 1: Okay, just to be clear, seventy percent of the songs
- 1:28:50Speaker 1: or seventy percent of the record royalties are.
- 1:28:53Speaker 2: Both just just the songwriting publishing part of it.
- 1:28:58Speaker 1: How long would you make that deal?
- 1:29:01Speaker 2: Right before COVID? I think so, I would say twenty
- 1:29:04Speaker 2: nineteen to the twenty.
- 1:29:06Speaker 1: Okay, so you're happy you made that deal five years later?
- 1:29:10Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, you know, like I I was, I
- 1:29:13Speaker 2: had been with you know, with with uh EMI for
- 1:29:17Speaker 2: a really long time, and I start to find that,
- 1:29:21Speaker 2: like as you know, as we get older and you
- 1:29:23Speaker 2: fall out of favor a giant corporation like that, when
- 1:29:26Speaker 2: they start thinking about songs for sak when they start
- 1:29:28Speaker 2: thinking about the artists either at the top of their mind,
- 1:29:31Speaker 2: I don't it's hard for you to be there anymore
- 1:29:33Speaker 2: because they have the fresh and the new, you know,
- 1:29:35Speaker 2: And so I thought it was a really good time
- 1:29:37Speaker 2: for me to kind of be a part of a
- 1:29:39Speaker 2: smaller family that was thinking about me a little bit more.
- 1:29:43Speaker 2: And Evan Lamberg had already left and gone off to Universal,
- 1:29:46Speaker 2: and Evan, you know, was my main reason for signing
- 1:29:49Speaker 2: with EMI in the first place. So it you know,
- 1:29:51Speaker 2: it was an easy decision to make. Even though the
- 1:29:53Speaker 2: EMI guys, which later on became EMI Sony, they've always
- 1:29:56Speaker 2: been amazing. So what you do with the money, I
- 1:30:08Speaker 2: don't have to tell you that.
- 1:30:11Speaker 1: You have to tell me anything.
- 1:30:14Speaker 2: No, I mean, I listen, I've I've my wife and
- 1:30:16Speaker 2: I we were we're really well invested. We we were
- 1:30:20Speaker 2: not crazy spenders. We're not we don't take a lot
- 1:30:23Speaker 2: of risks are investing. You know, we've we've managed to
- 1:30:26Speaker 2: maintain and grow everything really really well. So you know,
- 1:30:30Speaker 2: like it's we're not I'm never really I never thought
- 1:30:34Speaker 2: about money as the means to own anything. It was
- 1:30:36Speaker 2: always like money was a means for experiences, you know,
- 1:30:40Speaker 2: like I would I would. I love being able to
- 1:30:43Speaker 2: take vacations with my family and take people out. I
- 1:30:45Speaker 2: love being able to go to nice dinners and bring
- 1:30:47Speaker 2: everybody together and have this moment. But I don't really
- 1:30:51Speaker 2: need to own very much. You know, we have a
- 1:30:54Speaker 2: nice house, we have a nice car in the garage.
- 1:30:56Speaker 2: That's we're good, you know where we need to be.
- 1:30:59Speaker 2: I don't like, I don't mean much status symbol.
- 1:31:01Speaker 1: Well, let me put it a different way. You get
- 1:31:03Speaker 1: a big check, did you buy anything or you just
- 1:31:06Speaker 1: invest all of it?
- 1:31:07Speaker 2: No, I just it just went back in the pile
- 1:31:09Speaker 2: with the rest. I mean, I already I've already been
- 1:31:13Speaker 2: like we'd already done been doing really really well. This
- 1:31:17Speaker 2: was just a it was just kind of one of
- 1:31:19Speaker 2: those things of like, well let's let's look at the
- 1:31:21Speaker 2: landscape of music. Let's let's start to understand the power
- 1:31:25Speaker 2: of your catalog back when, but even just when you
- 1:31:29Speaker 2: could when the greatest hits made sense, right, which you
- 1:31:33Speaker 2: know now the greatest hits is it doesn't exist anymore
- 1:31:36Speaker 2: because I can get your greatest hits. I can just
- 1:31:38Speaker 2: go on Spotify and I make your greatest hits, which
- 1:31:41Speaker 2: every way I want to, I can find everything that's
- 1:31:43Speaker 2: out there. The the value is probably you know, it
- 1:31:48Speaker 2: still exists in sync and things like that. But for
- 1:31:53Speaker 2: that for that stuff to be valuable, people need to
- 1:31:56Speaker 2: be working it and people need to you know, to
- 1:32:00Speaker 2: be actively working on your catalog. And so that to
- 1:32:03Speaker 2: me was I think was the reason, Like it just
- 1:32:05Speaker 2: doesn't have the value the ownership of it. The songs
- 1:32:09Speaker 2: are still there, and that connection that I have every night,
- 1:32:12Speaker 2: like we're gonna have a show at the Prudential Center Thursday,
- 1:32:16Speaker 2: that connection is still going to be there. That doesn't
- 1:32:18Speaker 2: go away. And that's the one you know, that I
- 1:32:21Speaker 2: own forever. There's not really more that I have the
- 1:32:24Speaker 2: benefit from from owning that publishing, and I think a
- 1:32:27Speaker 2: lot of artists are starting to realize that now as well.
- 1:32:30Speaker 2: You hear about these maze you know, people like Springsteen, you.
- 1:32:32Speaker 1: Know, right, so your songs round he'll own seventy percent.
- 1:32:38Speaker 1: Is there anything you say that they can't do with them?
- 1:32:42Speaker 2: I have? Yeah. I have the complete right to say
- 1:32:46Speaker 2: no to any like if they want to use it
- 1:32:48Speaker 2: in some way that I don't want. I have the
- 1:32:50Speaker 2: complete say over how they get used.
- 1:32:54Speaker 1: Just generally speaking, what would you say no to?
- 1:32:59Speaker 2: The first thing that popping in mind would probably be
- 1:33:03Speaker 2: something political that I don't agree with, like that, you know,
- 1:33:06Speaker 2: that would be a problem for me. You know, maybe
- 1:33:10Speaker 2: certain uh, pharmaceutical you know, commercials, maybe that I don't
- 1:33:16Speaker 2: officially totally agree with. You just you never know when
- 1:33:20Speaker 2: just something's going to be like I do. I don't
- 1:33:21Speaker 2: like that look for me, you know, Like I'm not
- 1:33:24Speaker 2: like Carlos and I always joke like we're not we're
- 1:33:27Speaker 2: not ready for Smooth to be an x Lax commercial
- 1:33:30Speaker 2: just yet, like we gotta we gotta call once where
- 1:33:35Speaker 2: it was like it was a commercial for Smooth and
- 1:33:38Speaker 2: it was like a Mercedes commercial, but it was kind
- 1:33:42Speaker 2: of like the Vibe where the guys listening to Smooth
- 1:33:46Speaker 2: and then the hot girl goes by and listening to
- 1:33:48Speaker 2: Maria Cabo or whatever, you know, and and we're like, yeah, no,
- 1:33:54Speaker 2: like that's you know, that's that's We're not ready to
- 1:33:56Speaker 2: put that nail in that coffin just yet. You know,
- 1:33:58Speaker 2: we're still we're still trying to keep the illusional. But
- 1:34:00Speaker 2: the third time, when smooth comes back around, you know,
- 1:34:03Speaker 2: and it's cool again.
- 1:34:05Speaker 1: How'd you hook up with Michael Lipman who's on the
- 1:34:07Speaker 1: West Coast.
- 1:34:10Speaker 2: He was managing Macheletic because he managed his producers at
- 1:34:13Speaker 2: the time as well. Michael had had a lot of success,
- 1:34:16Speaker 2: but the only thing that he had never done was
- 1:34:18Speaker 2: take a band from zero. He never had a brand
- 1:34:22Speaker 2: new band, and that was just something he always wanted
- 1:34:24Speaker 2: to do, and so he took us on as that project.
- 1:34:27Speaker 2: He honestly, it was so similar in everything that we did.
- 1:34:30Speaker 2: He came to see us the first time he ever
- 1:34:32Speaker 2: saw us play live, walked backstage and said, well, how
- 1:34:36Speaker 2: much money did you get from your publishing And I said, well,
- 1:34:38Speaker 2: I think I got about four hundred thousand. He goes,
- 1:34:41Speaker 2: My advice to you is put that money away and invested,
- 1:34:45Speaker 2: because it's all the money you're ever going to see.
- 1:34:47Speaker 2: If this is how you think a show should be played.
- 1:34:52Speaker 2: And then he quit and he walked out of the room.
- 1:34:57Speaker 2: And then and then we called him and begged them
- 1:35:00Speaker 2: to come back. And then I think like a week
- 1:35:03Speaker 2: later he I got into a fight because he I
- 1:35:05Speaker 2: just didn't think that it mattered what clothes you wore
- 1:35:07Speaker 2: in a video. I was like, nobody cares about what
- 1:35:09Speaker 2: they you know, you wear, and Mike was like, last night,
- 1:35:12Speaker 2: He's like, he tell me always the story, Like, you know,
- 1:35:14Speaker 2: you know Bruce Springsteen. You think that Bruce Springstein just
- 1:35:17Speaker 2: wears any jeans and any T shirt. He's like, you
- 1:35:19Speaker 2: don't think that he's got the exact right teams and
- 1:35:21Speaker 2: the exact you know is the trust me. Everybody cares.
- 1:35:25Speaker 2: It just depends on how you show it, you know.
- 1:35:28Speaker 2: And I remember walking out of the restaurant fucking you,
- 1:35:30Speaker 2: fuck you. You know. We quit on each other quite
- 1:35:31Speaker 2: a few times. But he's been very much a paternal
- 1:35:36Speaker 2: figure throughout my entire life.
- 1:35:38Speaker 1: Okay. What I remember was, especially in LA, there ended
- 1:35:43Speaker 1: up being an acoustic version of Push, which they played
- 1:35:47Speaker 1: in a top forty on the FM station. Was that
- 1:35:50Speaker 1: an anomaly? Although there are you know, once Napster hit,
- 1:35:53Speaker 1: there were a million versions now on YouTube. Is that
- 1:35:56Speaker 1: a factor in the success of Push, the acoustic version?
- 1:36:00Speaker 2: No, no, no, it was a product of it Push.
- 1:36:03Speaker 2: I mean the reason why Push was a success is
- 1:36:05Speaker 2: because it was nineteen ninety six ninety seven and Dave Rossi,
- 1:36:09Speaker 2: who ran I think the edge in Birmingham, Like it
- 1:36:12Speaker 2: was at a time where if you're a programmed director
- 1:36:14Speaker 2: of a record of a radio station, you could play
- 1:36:18Speaker 2: something because you liked it. You know, there wasn't like
- 1:36:21Speaker 2: a formatted you know, you weren't part of a conglomerate.
- 1:36:23Speaker 2: It wasn't formatted what you needed to play. And he
- 1:36:28Speaker 2: on his own, like we put that long day, the
- 1:36:30Speaker 2: label put money into it, we made a video, it
- 1:36:32Speaker 2: was on MTV. The song just tanked, it didn't do well,
- 1:36:36Speaker 2: and Dave Rossi just started playing Push on his own
- 1:36:40Speaker 2: and in Birmingham it became the number one song. Like
- 1:36:44Speaker 2: we were playing everywhere to like moderate people. And then
- 1:36:47Speaker 2: we showed up Birmingham. There's a line around the block
- 1:36:50Speaker 2: to see us play. And Atlantic was we were on
- 1:36:53Speaker 2: the chopping block to begin with, because the day our
- 1:36:57Speaker 2: record came out was the day lava folded into it. Atlantic.
- 1:37:00Speaker 2: It was Jason and Atlantic took Jason Flohm into Atlantic,
- 1:37:04Speaker 2: and they absolved just a couple of bands. It was
- 1:37:06Speaker 2: like Us, Sugar, Ray, Kid Rock and Edwin McCain. I
- 1:37:10Speaker 2: want to say I like the bands that they kept,
- 1:37:13Speaker 2: but we all knew that we were on the chopping block,
- 1:37:17Speaker 2: and so when long they didn't work out, it was like, oh,
- 1:37:19Speaker 2: like we were just waiting for the call any day,
- 1:37:22Speaker 2: and because of Push, they were like, let's let's just
- 1:37:24Speaker 2: give this single a chance. And then everything from that
- 1:37:27Speaker 2: moment on was just exponentially. Every week we just started
- 1:37:31Speaker 2: to get bigger and bigger and bigger.
- 1:37:34Speaker 1: Okay, you had success and it was Matchbox with the
- 1:37:40Speaker 1: number two. Oh and then it was changed to spelled
- 1:37:44Speaker 1: twe n t y. What was that about?
- 1:37:48Speaker 2: Paul? I just liked the way it looked better, Like
- 1:37:51Speaker 2: it was funny that we weren't. I think Michael made
- 1:37:55Speaker 2: more of a deal of it than and like put
- 1:37:58Speaker 2: out like a release and all this stuff like that
- 1:38:00Speaker 2: wasn't anything that we did. Michael was just always trying
- 1:38:02Speaker 2: to find a way to get somebody to write about us,
- 1:38:04Speaker 2: you know, and like I remember like seeing that, like
- 1:38:08Speaker 2: I guess in Touch magazine or in Style whatever, they
- 1:38:11Speaker 2: would always have like a loser of the week, and
- 1:38:13Speaker 2: we were the loser of the week because we we
- 1:38:16Speaker 2: made a joke that we thought was clearly a joke
- 1:38:19Speaker 2: that we were we were so tired of being compared
- 1:38:21Speaker 2: to bands like Some forty one and Blink one eighty two,
- 1:38:24Speaker 2: which was so obvious we'd never have in our entire life.
- 1:38:29Speaker 2: And so I guess whoever heard that rote like as
- 1:38:31Speaker 2: if da da da da da, and we're just like, oh,
- 1:38:34Speaker 2: you have no sense of humor at all, you know,
- 1:38:35Speaker 2: you don't get us at all. So yeah, it was
- 1:38:39Speaker 2: that was an aesthetic choice, just purely an aesthetic choice.
- 1:38:41Speaker 2: And we and we still keep it. We just like
- 1:38:43Speaker 2: the way it looks better. We like twenty written out,
- 1:38:45Speaker 2: and we like it in a lowercase bawd. That's just
- 1:38:48Speaker 2: the kind of people we are.
- 1:38:50Speaker 1: Okay, tell me. The story behind Push Push.
- 1:38:54Speaker 2: Was just a song about manipulation, you know, about power
- 1:39:01Speaker 2: in a relationship, about how people can use you know,
- 1:39:08Speaker 2: the fact that they know that someone loves you and
- 1:39:10Speaker 2: they can use that to manipulate you, and how sometimes
- 1:39:14Speaker 2: you get so used to it that you can mistake
- 1:39:16Speaker 2: that for love. Sometimes. It was written about a situation
- 1:39:21Speaker 2: that I was in at the time where I was
- 1:39:25Speaker 2: the I feel like I was, you know, the one.
- 1:39:28Speaker 2: But I also didn't feel like anybody wanted to hear
- 1:39:30Speaker 2: a song with a guy bellowing about being a victim.
- 1:39:34Speaker 2: So it was kind of like written as a third
- 1:39:36Speaker 2: third party, you know, like she said, I don't know
- 1:39:40Speaker 2: if you know it's fact. It was almost like a
- 1:39:42Speaker 2: fly on the wall of me looking at this relationship,
- 1:39:44Speaker 2: you know, And there was a little blowback I think
- 1:39:49Speaker 2: at the time. I mean, it was a pretty aggressive
- 1:39:52Speaker 2: I think in that kind of nineties manufactured angst kind
- 1:39:55Speaker 2: of way that a lot of us were, you know,
- 1:39:57Speaker 2: it was in that kind of like well this is
- 1:39:59Speaker 2: how we expressed ourselves. No no, no, no, no, no no.
- 1:40:04Speaker 2: But it was genuine, you know, like it came from
- 1:40:07Speaker 2: a real place in melody and lyric wise, and it
- 1:40:12Speaker 2: scratched that it's at the time, it's it's a I mean,
- 1:40:15Speaker 2: obviously for so many reasons, it's been a really important song.
- 1:40:18Speaker 2: It's an amazing thing now to see, you know, fourteen
- 1:40:22Speaker 2: and fifteen year olds like kind of light up when
- 1:40:25Speaker 2: we play it at a show, maybe partially because of Barbie.
- 1:40:29Speaker 1: You know, what was the real situation that inspired the song.
- 1:40:35Speaker 2: Uh. I mean I think that you know, if you're
- 1:40:40Speaker 2: if you were me at that time, and like you
- 1:40:42Speaker 2: your prospects were potential, right like, if this whole thing
- 1:40:48Speaker 2: that you're working on works out, within the sky's the limit.
- 1:40:51Speaker 2: But chances are, like everybody likes to tell you it's
- 1:40:53Speaker 2: not going to you know, because it doesn't. You know,
- 1:40:56Speaker 2: it doesn't work out ninety percent of the time, and
- 1:40:58Speaker 2: so you know, if it hadn't worked out, I would
- 1:41:01Speaker 2: be the guy just living on my friends couches. So
- 1:41:04Speaker 2: any relationship that I was in, I didn't have a
- 1:41:07Speaker 2: whole lot of control over it, you know. I was
- 1:41:09Speaker 2: always just kind of being led by my emotions and
- 1:41:11Speaker 2: just lucky if somebody felt like somebody liked me and
- 1:41:13Speaker 2: wanted to spend time with me, and so that would
- 1:41:15Speaker 2: always put me in a position where I could be
- 1:41:18Speaker 2: manipulated very very easily or discarded, you know, because I
- 1:41:22Speaker 2: didn't really I didn't. I wasn't someone that I think
- 1:41:25Speaker 2: that I wasn't so many that people took like a
- 1:41:27Speaker 2: serious person.
- 1:41:28Speaker 1: You know, you wrote the first album very quickly because
- 1:41:34Speaker 1: you discarded the songs with a previous band. How much
- 1:41:37Speaker 1: pressure did you feel on the follow up album.
- 1:41:43Speaker 2: Uh, you know at first none. I mean I think
- 1:41:48Speaker 2: you know the whole idea when you're young and you're
- 1:41:50Speaker 2: doing something like this, it's that native atay, right, it's
- 1:41:54Speaker 2: the what you don't know or you don't realize it
- 1:41:56Speaker 2: actually gives you the strength to kind of go like,
- 1:41:58Speaker 2: of course I'm gonna make it. You got to have
- 1:42:01Speaker 2: you have to have a little bit of narcissism because
- 1:42:03Speaker 2: you have to believe that other people should listen to
- 1:42:06Speaker 2: what it is you have to say. And you have
- 1:42:08Speaker 2: to like suspend disbelief to some degree because you have
- 1:42:11Speaker 2: to believe against all odds that you're you're going to
- 1:42:13Speaker 2: be the one of the ones that make it. Of
- 1:42:15Speaker 2: course you are. When the first record, though, did so well,
- 1:42:21Speaker 2: it worked the opposite way because when you get that
- 1:42:23Speaker 2: kind of success right off the bat, everybody is like, well,
- 1:42:26Speaker 2: that's not going to happen, and it doesn't. I mean,
- 1:42:28Speaker 2: they're right, you're not going to sell twenty million records
- 1:42:30Speaker 2: again and fifteen million records again. But it's pretty much
- 1:42:33Speaker 2: a guarantee that oh that's a you know, if not
- 1:42:35Speaker 2: a one hit wonder, that's a one record you know
- 1:42:38Speaker 2: moment and that was that time in the nineties. There's
- 1:42:41Speaker 2: a lot of bands selling ten million records. Back then,
- 1:42:43Speaker 2: the presidents of the United States of America just on
- 1:42:46Speaker 2: Lump and Peaches sold ten million records, you know. And
- 1:42:51Speaker 2: then so everybody would like to let you know, it's
- 1:42:52Speaker 2: probably not going to happen. So then you're like, oh, well, shit,
- 1:42:55Speaker 2: maybe it's not gonna happen. I knew that I was
- 1:42:58Speaker 2: writing some really good stuff. I had already written Bent.
- 1:43:01Speaker 2: I knew that Bent, you know it was a good song.
- 1:43:04Speaker 2: I knew that if You're Gone was a good I
- 1:43:05Speaker 2: knew that these songs were solid. I also knew that
- 1:43:10Speaker 2: that didn't necessarily matter. I think that magic moment of
- 1:43:17Speaker 2: smooth right in the middle was a huge thing that
- 1:43:24Speaker 2: kind of kept people's eyes on, well, let's give it
- 1:43:26Speaker 2: a chance and see what happens. And then so then
- 1:43:29Speaker 2: we're at the very beginning of the early odds. We
- 1:43:32Speaker 2: put out our first single on the second record, and
- 1:43:36Speaker 2: it's our first number one hit, like our first actual
- 1:43:39Speaker 2: number one song, and that felt good. And then that
- 1:43:46Speaker 2: record did amazingly well for especially for that that being
- 1:43:50Speaker 2: in that situation as sophomore record and going, ah, you know,
- 1:43:56Speaker 2: four singles deep in there. That was the moment where
- 1:44:00Speaker 2: I kind of felt like we really started to build
- 1:44:04Speaker 2: a career. You know, like if you on your first
- 1:44:07Speaker 2: you have some success on your first record. I mean,
- 1:44:09Speaker 2: that's that's a journey, that's an adventure, and it buys
- 1:44:13Speaker 2: you a ticket to get in to see how you
- 1:44:17Speaker 2: could if you can take the ride, and then you
- 1:44:19Speaker 2: get on the ride, and then you know, we didn't
- 1:44:24Speaker 2: throw up. You know, we held it together, We mastered
- 1:44:26Speaker 2: the ride, and by the time we got into our
- 1:44:29Speaker 2: third record, we were the band that we wanted to be.
- 1:44:33Speaker 2: Like that third record with bride lights and unwell and
- 1:44:36Speaker 2: sounds like so sad, so like that was like all
- 1:44:39Speaker 2: we felt like, this is this really feels like we've
- 1:44:43Speaker 2: kind of settled into the adult versions of the band
- 1:44:46Speaker 2: that we want to be and we were allowed that.
- 1:44:49Speaker 2: We were allowed allowed to do that, by the way,
- 1:44:51Speaker 2: which is you know, it doesn't you're not always lucky
- 1:44:53Speaker 2: enough to you know, a lot of bands find their stride,
- 1:44:56Speaker 2: you know, three four records in, but they don't get
- 1:44:58Speaker 2: that opportunity to now as much as they used to then.
- 1:45:02Speaker 2: So we're really really fortunate because even then, I mean
- 1:45:05Speaker 2: then wasn't now, But without that success that would have happened,
- 1:45:09Speaker 2: we would have been dropped probably what you know, if
- 1:45:11Speaker 2: Push had never happened, we would have been dropped and
- 1:45:12Speaker 2: never really gotten to figure out what our true potential was.
- 1:45:15Speaker 1: Now, eventually the landscape changes completely, but the hits are
- 1:45:20Speaker 1: not as many at number? How does that feel? How
- 1:45:24Speaker 1: do you cope with that? Emotionally fine?
- 1:45:27Speaker 2: I mean, we're it's it doesn't take a genius to realize,
- 1:45:31Speaker 2: like there's a moment where we're still doing well. Third record,
- 1:45:36Speaker 2: we're still doing well, and we don't sound like everything
- 1:45:38Speaker 2: else that's on the radio around us. Like if you
- 1:45:40Speaker 2: look at a screenshot, it's like Nelly, you know, it's
- 1:45:43Speaker 2: a bunch of like Southern rabbits and then unwell, as
- 1:45:46Speaker 2: you know, it's kind of in there. But you don't
- 1:45:48Speaker 2: have to be a genius to to listen to music
- 1:45:51Speaker 2: and go like, oh, well, this isn't what we're doing,
- 1:45:53Speaker 2: you know, like this this is not this aesthetic like
- 1:45:59Speaker 2: we give part of it, you know, having talent, having
- 1:46:01Speaker 2: good songs has to be it. But also for some
- 1:46:04Speaker 2: sort of success, your aesthetic has to fit the aesthetic
- 1:46:07Speaker 2: of what kind of what's happening right then in the zeitgeist,
- 1:46:10Speaker 2: and that was something that happened for us at that
- 1:46:12Speaker 2: time when it went over like we we didn't. Also,
- 1:46:17Speaker 2: we didn't love everything those popular, so we were kind
- 1:46:19Speaker 2: of glad that we didn't sound like that, and we
- 1:46:21Speaker 2: weren't going to go chasing that sound. And so I
- 1:46:24Speaker 2: think one of the things that we did early on
- 1:46:25Speaker 2: was we we were very very conscious of trying not
- 1:46:30Speaker 2: to sound anything like what was happening on the radio,
- 1:46:32Speaker 2: but also not sound like our previous records, and realized
- 1:46:36Speaker 2: that at this point we'd love it if you know,
- 1:46:40Speaker 2: if you can if you have some success on the radio.
- 1:46:43Speaker 2: But we had massed a group of people who had
- 1:46:48Speaker 2: an interest in what it is. We had to say,
- 1:46:50Speaker 2: you know, let's just let's tend to that garden all
- 1:46:54Speaker 2: the time. Let's make sure that we keep these people
- 1:46:56Speaker 2: to good with us. And over the years, those people
- 1:46:59Speaker 2: have brought their kids, and their kids are bringing their kids.
- 1:47:02Speaker 2: And I mean when we were really, really young, if
- 1:47:07Speaker 2: you would have told us at the very very beginning,
- 1:47:09Speaker 2: when we were super hungry, that you know, eventually you're
- 1:47:12Speaker 2: going to have a career, but it's going to come
- 1:47:13Speaker 2: along with a sense of nostalgia. We would have thought
- 1:47:17Speaker 2: that was sad, and then we realized that, like, you know,
- 1:47:19Speaker 2: that's that is ninety percent of the favorite music and
- 1:47:22Speaker 2: bands that we've grown up with that have a career
- 1:47:24Speaker 2: to this day. There you know, so many bands out there,
- 1:47:26Speaker 2: there are still they go out on tour, they're still
- 1:47:28Speaker 2: selling ten thousand seats, They're still enjoying a really good life.
- 1:47:31Speaker 2: Their songs are being place to put you know what
- 1:47:32Speaker 2: I mean. They're just not a part of this immediate
- 1:47:36Speaker 2: conversation anymore. And almost nobody, I mean you have. I
- 1:47:42Speaker 2: call them the one percent, you know, these beyonces, these
- 1:47:45Speaker 2: tailors that are usually successful, and every time they do something,
- 1:47:53Speaker 2: they maintain a part of that conversation, right, And that
- 1:47:58Speaker 2: seems tiring. It seems like it takes an entire village
- 1:48:02Speaker 2: to make that happen, you know, and it certainly doesn't
- 1:48:05Speaker 2: sound like something that happens by doing the thing that
- 1:48:08Speaker 2: I love, which is sitting in my studio writing and
- 1:48:11Speaker 2: writing until I get a song that really excites me,
- 1:48:13Speaker 2: following that thread, making that into a record like that,
- 1:48:16Speaker 2: to me is the thing that I love about it.
- 1:48:18Speaker 2: And that's how I wound up getting to where I
- 1:48:20Speaker 2: got to. It's just that no matter what I do, like,
- 1:48:24Speaker 2: I'm not going to be that part of that conversation anymore.
- 1:48:28Speaker 2: And that's okay. In fact, I don't even know what
- 1:48:31Speaker 2: it would be like, because that conversation now is happening
- 1:48:35Speaker 2: on such a broader, wider level, Like you know, I
- 1:48:39Speaker 2: think about it like how we used to. We used
- 1:48:42Speaker 2: to have this point of entrigue when you put out
- 1:48:44Speaker 2: a record of music that was kind of like a funnel,
- 1:48:46Speaker 2: and you and your label and your team would get
- 1:48:48Speaker 2: together and you'd be like, well, we're gonna release this
- 1:48:51Speaker 2: song at this time on this place, and then we're
- 1:48:53Speaker 2: gonna put it out everywhere, and you have control over
- 1:48:56Speaker 2: every little aspect, you know. And it was so even
- 1:48:59Speaker 2: when you you were like really really famous, you were
- 1:49:02Speaker 2: in a smaller playing field. Like what you and I
- 1:49:03Speaker 2: talked about earlier in this conversation was a much smaller
- 1:49:06Speaker 2: playing field that was out there. Now that that funnel
- 1:49:10Speaker 2: is a callnder and you put something in it and
- 1:49:13Speaker 2: it just goes where it goes and it comes in
- 1:49:15Speaker 2: and you don't have really I don't know what. I
- 1:49:19Speaker 2: don't know what it's like to be famous. I know,
- 1:49:22Speaker 2: what it's like to have some famous music. I know
- 1:49:24Speaker 2: what it's like to be famous in the room that
- 1:49:27Speaker 2: I rented, you know, I know what it's famous to
- 1:49:30Speaker 2: be like to be famous in front of that twenty
- 1:49:32Speaker 2: thousand people that came to see me do this thing.
- 1:49:36Speaker 2: But I don't know what it's like to be famous
- 1:49:39Speaker 2: in that sense where like my life is scrutinized this whole,
- 1:49:43Speaker 2: you know, like it's your brand. Somebody the other day
- 1:49:47Speaker 2: was like, why don't you have sneakers with the name
- 1:49:49Speaker 2: on because I'm not sneaker famous, motherfucker. Like that's not
- 1:49:52Speaker 2: something you just do, you know, you just side and
- 1:49:55Speaker 2: I'm mak a sneakers, I'm a name on them.
- 1:49:57Speaker 1: Let's switch gears. It's the twenty fiftheen verse we of Smooth.
- 1:50:01Speaker 1: According to Billboard, it's the third most played song in history,
- 1:50:05Speaker 1: after Blinding Lights by the Weekend and The Twists by
- 1:50:09Speaker 1: Chubby Checker. He started to tell the story, tell the
- 1:50:12Speaker 1: story now, how smooth came to.
- 1:50:14Speaker 2: Be well, first of a fucking good for the Weekend, right, Like,
- 1:50:19Speaker 2: just jump right up there pretty damn quick. I you know,
- 1:50:24Speaker 2: originally I was just supposed to write smooth. I wasn't
- 1:50:26Speaker 2: going to be a singer on it. I just sang
- 1:50:28Speaker 2: on the demo and I was even in Carla in
- 1:50:32Speaker 2: Clive's office having the conversations about who was going to
- 1:50:40Speaker 2: sing it. You know, we flirted around. I flirted around
- 1:50:43Speaker 2: George Michael. I really wanted George to do it. I
- 1:50:47Speaker 2: think bon Jovi's name came up at some point and
- 1:50:51Speaker 2: it was Carlos, who had no idea who I was,
- 1:50:53Speaker 2: but liked my voice on the demo. That was like, well,
- 1:50:54Speaker 2: let's does he sing? And they're like, yeah, he's in
- 1:50:58Speaker 2: a band, you know, and it call us a like
- 1:51:00Speaker 2: He's like, I I believe him, Let's just have him
- 1:51:02Speaker 2: do it. And then that was kind of it. I Mean,
- 1:51:07Speaker 2: the funniest part of that whole thing is the twenty
- 1:51:12Speaker 2: five years later now, you know, I'll still have nights
- 1:51:17Speaker 2: till midnight where my wife's laughing because me and Carlos
- 1:51:20Speaker 2: are still up texting each other, you know, stupid videos
- 1:51:23Speaker 2: and songs and you know, fucking strange emojis and making
- 1:51:27Speaker 2: plans to to do things that you know, records that
- 1:51:30Speaker 2: were never gonna make. He's just become like one of
- 1:51:33Speaker 2: my like one of my brothers. And in the relationship
- 1:51:36Speaker 2: that I've wound up with with Clive Davis, who is
- 1:51:38Speaker 2: my neighbor. But you know, Clive is like, if I
- 1:51:42Speaker 2: make a new record, I've never I've never been on
- 1:51:44Speaker 2: his label, never had anything to do with him, but
- 1:51:47Speaker 2: he had me help honor him at Carnegie Hall about
- 1:51:51Speaker 2: a month ago. If I make a new record, I
- 1:51:54Speaker 2: go to client's house or his office and we sit
- 1:51:56Speaker 2: and we listen to the record, you know, together. Like
- 1:51:58Speaker 2: He's just been a real great mentor that I met
- 1:52:01Speaker 2: at a time where I was much more porous than
- 1:52:06Speaker 2: I probably am now and much more spongy, and so
- 1:52:09Speaker 2: I you know, it was a really good time to
- 1:52:11Speaker 2: meet those people in my life because I learned from
- 1:52:15Speaker 2: Carlos early on the difference between being a famous musician
- 1:52:18Speaker 2: and being a celebrity, and that being a famous musician
- 1:52:22Speaker 2: is what you've always wanted. I want people to hear
- 1:52:25Speaker 2: my music. I want more people to hear it. I want,
- 1:52:26Speaker 2: you know, I want my song to be part of
- 1:52:29Speaker 2: people's lives, and the way that my favorite music is
- 1:52:31Speaker 2: a part of mine. And then the rest of it
- 1:52:33Speaker 2: is all bullshit, like none of it really matters except
- 1:52:36Speaker 2: for that.
- 1:52:38Speaker 1: Okay, the band Matchbox twenty made a number of records.
- 1:52:43Speaker 1: You've made solo records, You've gone on tour solo, You've
- 1:52:47Speaker 1: gone with Matchbox twenty live. What does the future hold?
- 1:52:53Speaker 2: I mean, right now I can only see right in
- 1:52:55Speaker 2: front of my face. So next year is the twentieth
- 1:52:58Speaker 2: anniversary of my first solo record, So I am just finishing,
- 1:53:04Speaker 2: just finishing the writing, and we're deep into the recording
- 1:53:08Speaker 2: of a new solo record. And then the very next
- 1:53:12Speaker 2: year is the thirtieth anniversary of the first Matchbox twenty record,
- 1:53:17Speaker 2: and we're trying to figure out what that means for us.
- 1:53:21Speaker 2: We want to do something. We just toured last summer,
- 1:53:24Speaker 2: which because I think because we hadn't been out in
- 1:53:26Speaker 2: so many years, we hadn't been out since like twenty seventeen.
- 1:53:29Speaker 2: I think it was one of our most successful tours
- 1:53:31Speaker 2: in our entire career since the very very beginning. So
- 1:53:36Speaker 2: the idea of like but we also made a record
- 1:53:39Speaker 2: which we were planning on doing, but then COVID happened
- 1:53:42Speaker 2: and we canceled a summer and we're like, well, if
- 1:53:45Speaker 2: we're not going to tour, but we know that we're available,
- 1:53:47Speaker 2: let's make a record. And we made a record that
- 1:53:50Speaker 2: we're unbelievably proud of. But we also realized that we
- 1:53:53Speaker 2: fucking hate making records together. Like it is just like
- 1:53:56Speaker 2: a one giant argument. Like we as a band and
- 1:54:00Speaker 2: get along unbelievable. Like if you come out you see
- 1:54:04Speaker 2: us at a show, you would think that we all
- 1:54:07Speaker 2: just became best friends, you know what I mean, Like
- 1:54:08Speaker 2: we are this family. We're joking all the time. I
- 1:54:11Speaker 2: don't think we've ever had a personal argument amongst us. Ever,
- 1:54:16Speaker 2: it's always about creative direction. It's always about this will
- 1:54:19Speaker 2: I see something this way and I see it this way?
- 1:54:22Speaker 2: And you know, Paul always jokes that a Matchbox twenty
- 1:54:25Speaker 2: song is the result of an argument between four people.
- 1:54:28Speaker 2: And so I don't know, as we get older, that's
- 1:54:31Speaker 2: something that we I mean, I'm not saying we wouldn't
- 1:54:33Speaker 2: never record music, but we're not making an entire record again.
- 1:54:37Speaker 2: Doesn't seem in the cards for us because we don't
- 1:54:38Speaker 2: enjoy it. And frankly, we've worked hard enough in a
- 1:54:41Speaker 2: teeth enough now where we don't have to do something
- 1:54:43Speaker 2: if we don't enjoy it. But we enjoy playing, So
- 1:54:48Speaker 2: I mean, maybe we'll maybe, you know, the landscape is different.
- 1:54:51Speaker 2: Maybe for Matchbox that means we've put out a song
- 1:54:54Speaker 2: and we just go out and tour maybe something special,
- 1:54:56Speaker 2: maybe your residency at a casino, you know, maybe a
- 1:55:00Speaker 2: specialty tour where it's just like one big show in
- 1:55:03Speaker 2: big cities, you know, event shows. Like I don't know
- 1:55:06Speaker 2: what that means yet, but right now I know that
- 1:55:10Speaker 2: I just got to get this fucking record done by
- 1:55:11Speaker 2: the end of this year. For my solo that's like,
- 1:55:13Speaker 2: you know, like at the end of the day, you're
- 1:55:14Speaker 2: still jobbing, you know, like you're still like, Okay, I've
- 1:55:17Speaker 2: got this. I've given myself a deadline, and now I'm
- 1:55:19Speaker 2: going to make that deadline happen because now Atlantic Records
- 1:55:22Speaker 2: is going I want that record, and I'm lucky to
- 1:55:25Speaker 2: you know, still have a label that wants that record.
- 1:55:27Speaker 1: So okay, one final thing, it is almost impossible to
- 1:55:33Speaker 1: make it. Luck definitely plays a factor. Hard work pays
- 1:55:39Speaker 1: a factor, plays a factor with me. But in order
- 1:55:42Speaker 1: to make it, you need to need it. You have
- 1:55:45Speaker 1: to have this inner drive. To what degree is that
- 1:55:49Speaker 1: a characteristic of yours?
- 1:55:53Speaker 2: I think because like making it has changed over the years,
- 1:55:59Speaker 2: you know, like we just talked about but I think
- 1:56:03Speaker 2: I want to still feel to myself like I'm writing
- 1:56:08Speaker 2: the best work that I can write right now. You know,
- 1:56:11Speaker 2: like everything that I've done up until now, I can
- 1:56:13Speaker 2: look back on it now and go like, oh, I
- 1:56:15Speaker 2: would have changed this or would have done this. But
- 1:56:16Speaker 2: I know in my heart that each one of those
- 1:56:19Speaker 2: groups of songs I made the best record I could.
- 1:56:21Speaker 2: I wrote the best songs that I could at that time.
- 1:56:24Speaker 2: That's really my driving force now is I want to
- 1:56:28Speaker 2: I want to write songs. I would love for people
- 1:56:29Speaker 2: to connect with them, you know. I mean I love
- 1:56:31Speaker 2: when I write a song and it's still something that
- 1:56:33Speaker 2: somebody uses that they're their wedding or it's still something
- 1:56:35Speaker 2: you know. But that's really the only success now because
- 1:56:40Speaker 2: you never really know for the rest of our lives
- 1:56:43Speaker 2: and my life, I can we can go out and
- 1:56:47Speaker 2: play to shows. We can get people that are going
- 1:56:49Speaker 2: to come see us play. Most of my favorite artists,
- 1:56:53Speaker 2: you know, like like sometimes you're playing it, you know,
- 1:56:56Speaker 2: you're playing like this casino and you're like are we casinos?
- 1:56:59Speaker 2: And you look up like, oh, well, fuck, Elvis Costello
- 1:57:02Speaker 2: was here last week. Fucking love Alice Costello and you
- 1:57:05Speaker 2: know John legend was just here last you know, like,
- 1:57:07Speaker 2: all right, you know this is I'm not the I
- 1:57:10Speaker 2: think the the litmus test isn't isn't that anymore? Now?
- 1:57:14Speaker 2: It's just like I just want to do good work.
- 1:57:16Speaker 2: I just want to write, you know, I just want
- 1:57:17Speaker 2: to write good songs, and I want to do well
- 1:57:20Speaker 2: enough that I keep getting to do that. Like I
- 1:57:23Speaker 2: guess one day if like I don't have a label,
- 1:57:27Speaker 2: I don't know, Like, I'll tell you this, if for
- 1:57:31Speaker 2: some reason, music stops being a viable career option for me,
- 1:57:38Speaker 2: you will never see me again. I won't be on
- 1:57:41Speaker 2: Dancing with the Stars, I won't be on you know,
- 1:57:44Speaker 2: celebrity houseboat or fucking whatever. You know, like, I will
- 1:57:49Speaker 2: not find another means for people to know who I am.
- 1:57:53Speaker 2: If people stop knowing who I am because I make music, well,
- 1:57:56Speaker 2: then lucky for them, they will never see me again.
- 1:57:59Speaker 2: I will just be I'll just be quietly rich somewhere else.
- 1:58:04Speaker 1: Okay, but that's that's now. Go back to the beginning.
- 1:58:09Speaker 1: You're a high school drop out, You're.
- 1:58:11Speaker 2: Playing in it was everything. If I don't make it,
- 1:58:15Speaker 2: I don't survive like it was. And it's still it's
- 1:58:21Speaker 2: easy for me on this side of the fence to
- 1:58:23Speaker 2: tell somebody, you know, listen, if you're tenacious, dreams are
- 1:58:27Speaker 2: gonna happen. You just have to stick with it. But
- 1:58:30Speaker 2: that's not always true. And the fact is, without the
- 1:58:34Speaker 2: luck factor, Like I believe that I write good songs,
- 1:58:37Speaker 2: and I believe that I worked my ass off, and
- 1:58:39Speaker 2: I believe that Matchbox twenty is, in my opinion, one
- 1:58:42Speaker 2: of the greatest pop rock bands of all time, especially
- 1:58:45Speaker 2: if you come see us live. But there's a lot
- 1:58:48Speaker 2: of great fucking bands, and there's a lot of great songs,
- 1:58:50Speaker 2: and there's a lot of people that with all of
- 1:58:52Speaker 2: those things, they just didn't have that one lucky component,
- 1:58:55Speaker 2: you know. And so you're still like, I could be
- 1:59:00Speaker 2: fifty two years old having a conversation about my you know,
- 1:59:04Speaker 2: my dad band that I'm in while I'm sleeping on
- 1:59:07Speaker 2: my friend's couch, or you know, taking time for my
- 1:59:09Speaker 2: dentistry practice or whatever, only I didn't even give. I
- 1:59:12Speaker 2: didn't have a fallback, man, I like, you know, I
- 1:59:14Speaker 2: didn't even have the dentistry practice to fall back on.
- 1:59:16Speaker 2: I would have been working at my cousin's cleaners, you know,
- 1:59:19Speaker 2: while I was still trying to get my band to
- 1:59:21Speaker 2: work out. And it's never lost on me that it's
- 1:59:23Speaker 2: a very fine line and that luck is that line
- 1:59:26Speaker 2: between that happening. But the drive is just that you
- 1:59:32Speaker 2: let everything else go, You let college go, you let
- 1:59:35Speaker 2: getting into the ground floor of a career go. All
- 1:59:38Speaker 2: of these other options are kind of going by, and
- 1:59:40Speaker 2: you're like, no, I'm waiting on this. I'm waiting. It's
- 1:59:43Speaker 2: kind of like you're just you're sitting at the at
- 1:59:46Speaker 2: the bus stop and waiting for your friend to pick
- 1:59:49Speaker 2: you up, and all of these buses come by and
- 1:59:51Speaker 2: you're just like, no, I'm good, he'll come. He'll come,
- 1:59:54Speaker 2: and you're just like, oh fuck, if he doesn't come home,
- 1:59:55Speaker 2: I'm stranded, you know. And then for us, we just
- 1:59:58Speaker 2: got lucky and he showed up and picked us up,
- 2:00:01Speaker 2: and you know, we went on the ride.
- 2:00:04Speaker 1: Needless to say, your dream came true. Rob, Thanks so
- 2:00:08Speaker 1: much for taking the time to tell your story to
- 2:00:10Speaker 1: my audience.
- 2:00:11Speaker 2: It's a pleasure, Bob. I've been reading you for years
- 2:00:14Speaker 2: and years and it is an absolute pleasure.
- 2:00:16Speaker 1: To that's great talking to you. Obviously, you'll see him
- 2:00:20Speaker 1: on the road in some incarnation, coming fast, and of
- 2:00:23Speaker 1: course you'll hear Smooth in your grocery store, on the radio.
- 2:00:27Speaker 2: Kahoon, and in your nightmares till next time.
- 2:00:32Speaker 1: This is Bob left side.