Latest / bit of a Rambler / 006 Ramble On
Transcript
- 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,040 Hello, hello. My name is Kai and I am a bit of a rambler. I like to travel, learn and 2 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:12,540 tell stories, and now I'm going to rambla on a bit. Side episodes that are just about 3 00:00:12,540 --> 00:00:17,640 whatever the heck is going on. Loose ideas in my head. Marbles rolling around the 4 00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:24,700 old noggin. First of all, I've talked to a few Guatemalans now, having lived here a couple 5 00:00:24,700 --> 00:00:31,060 months, and they must love their summer love in here because all three Guatemalans who 6 00:00:31,060 --> 00:00:35,140 have told me when their birthday is have been within two weeks of each other in late March 7 00:00:35,140 --> 00:00:43,500 or early May. I want to ask more Guatemalans, but in organic conversation, the ones who 8 00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:48,580 have told me about their birthdays all have birthdays right next to each other. So, 9 00:00:48,580 --> 00:00:54,260 congrats, Guatemala, on banding together and conceiving the next generation all at the 10 00:00:54,260 --> 00:01:00,840 same time, which coincidentally is also my birth season. So, I have quite a consensus 11 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:05,400 building. There's actually one guy who works at the supermarket I go to all the time and 12 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:10,160 we always talk and he's the only one I haven't asked that I'm comfortable and close 13 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:15,500 enough because I've talked to him so many times that I can ask, but if he also tells me 14 00:01:15,500 --> 00:01:21,880 that his birthday is in late March or early April, then I'm going to assume all Guatemalans 15 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:27,160 are born in late March and early April, like a crop of Guatemalans and I will not be 16 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:34,200 dissuaded by any further dates told to me whether on a driver's license or any other formal 17 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:42,400 identification. They're also a surprisingly international community of name bequeathers 18 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:51,280 because now I've met a Johann and a Ninochka, German and Russian names, Guatemalans. Happy 19 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:58,880 birthday Ninochka and Cynthia and probably Johann as well. Their parents just liked the 20 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:04,920 sound of an exotic name. Now, if you're an American that might not sound weird to you because 21 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:11,160 America has such a mix of names everywhere, but it's pretty rare in a more monocultural 22 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:17,880 country to have such obviously foreign names like Johann or Ninochka. Like in Vietnam, 23 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:22,700 I talked to a lot of people and I was there for three months and I didn't meet anyone whose 24 00:02:22,700 --> 00:02:30,100 name sounded vaguely non-veganemese. Same with China, I lived there for years and I never 25 00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:35,840 met anyone with a non-Chinese name that they didn't give themselves as a nickname. These are 26 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:43,420 birth names Johann and Ninochka. So shout out to those two for having cool exotic names. 27 00:02:43,420 --> 00:02:48,140 So since we're talking about the people that I talked to here, every local who finds out 28 00:02:48,140 --> 00:02:55,260 what neighborhood I'm living in, in Zona 1, Misco, which is like the left neighborhood, 29 00:02:55,260 --> 00:03:01,380 the left-turn most neighborhood of Guatemala City is shocked because if you look it up right 30 00:03:01,380 --> 00:03:08,180 now on Google, I'm in Zona 1, Misco and it's one of the most dangerous or it's labeled 31 00:03:08,180 --> 00:03:12,500 as one of the most dangerous neighborhoods in the city. It does statistically have the 32 00:03:12,500 --> 00:03:19,340 highest homicide rate, but kids play outside like on the street without their parents, people 33 00:03:19,340 --> 00:03:24,380 walk to church every day, everybody is super polite here and there are cops constantly 34 00:03:24,380 --> 00:03:29,940 patrolling the streets. So maybe Guatemala has had a recent crackdown because this place 35 00:03:29,940 --> 00:03:36,940 is very safe and anyone who sees the neighborhood as it is now is shocked because like the roads 36 00:03:36,940 --> 00:03:43,780 are newly paved and they paved the road since I was here, but I've had more than one person 37 00:03:43,780 --> 00:03:49,340 tell me, wow, this is crazy because when I used to live here and come here as a kid, I 38 00:03:49,340 --> 00:03:55,020 got mugged repeatedly. So it used to be a dangerous neighborhood and it's still marked as a dangerous 39 00:03:55,020 --> 00:04:01,420 neighborhood on search engines from the outside, but I've been here for a couple months now 40 00:04:01,420 --> 00:04:08,380 and with all the police presence and the general cordiality and kindness of all my neighbors 41 00:04:08,380 --> 00:04:13,460 or I should say the community at large. Not to mention how casual everyone is about walking 42 00:04:13,460 --> 00:04:20,220 around at night alone, nobody seems particularly worried. I feel very safe and it's a pretty 43 00:04:20,220 --> 00:04:26,460 nice place for me to live, I'm enjoying living here. Oh yesterday I was shocked because I looked 44 00:04:26,460 --> 00:04:32,780 down when I felt something jump onto my leg and I saw a giant spider which is crazy because 45 00:04:32,780 --> 00:04:37,220 there are almost no bugs here because that's such high elevation and I haven't seen a single 46 00:04:37,220 --> 00:04:41,980 spider since I got here so I froze and I didn't move for like a minute and I just watched 47 00:04:41,980 --> 00:04:50,340 it and then I realized that it was actually a strawberry leaf from one of the strawberries 48 00:04:50,340 --> 00:04:58,660 I ate a couple days ago and the strawberry leaf must have been on my mat like from a couple 49 00:04:58,660 --> 00:05:07,140 days ago and tried out and then flipped up onto my leg when I sat down so I thought it jumped 50 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:14,420 on me but it was actually just a leaf stuck to my leg here and so I took that strawberry 51 00:05:14,420 --> 00:05:20,780 leaf off but it was real freaked out for a minute there. Okay I've been rewatching a whole bunch 52 00:05:20,780 --> 00:05:29,700 of movies lately and I just got to shout out Fleabag as one of the best TV shows I have seen 53 00:05:29,700 --> 00:05:36,300 in years and I watched it years ago but rewatching it now I burst out laughing out loud every 54 00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:42,780 time I watch it it's so good so you should watch it too and if you don't like it you should 55 00:05:42,780 --> 00:05:48,100 definitely tell that to somebody else. If you haven't seen Garth Morengi's Dark Place also 56 00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:56,340 by the way it's this funny it's a British anthology horror parody of like Stephen King's short 57 00:05:56,340 --> 00:06:02,660 stories that get turned into mini dramas but it's comedy and surrealist and absurd and very 58 00:06:02,660 --> 00:06:09,020 funny and I just rewatched Cannibal the Musical which was made by Tray Parker and Matt Stone 59 00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:12,780 the creators of South Park they made it like back when they were in college and got a whole 60 00:06:12,780 --> 00:06:18,460 bunch of their friends and professors to take part in it it's a musical horror comedy about 61 00:06:18,460 --> 00:06:25,220 the first American Cannibal which is a true story and it's very very funny you can also 62 00:06:25,220 --> 00:06:32,620 see a whole bunch of influences or ideas that became full fleshed jokes and running gags 63 00:06:32,620 --> 00:06:37,380 in South Park later on so it's really interesting to watch this because they made this years before 64 00:06:37,380 --> 00:06:44,100 South Park and it is as funny today as the first time I watched it and I've probably seen it like 65 00:06:44,100 --> 00:06:50,020 10 times so you should just watch it yourself and have a shbado ankle day I've been reading books 66 00:06:50,020 --> 00:06:56,980 about zombies lately and and have been reminded of the idea of the magical zombie recently which 67 00:06:56,980 --> 00:07:06,500 I want to talk about because for some reason in China all of the other expats we'd go to dinner and 68 00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:12,580 maybe they talked about it with each other occasionally but regularly they would bring up the scenario 69 00:07:12,580 --> 00:07:20,180 of like hey man you know what like what if there was like a zombie apocalypse maybe it was just 70 00:07:20,180 --> 00:07:24,980 at the time when all of the movies were coming out at the same time but multiple different people 71 00:07:24,980 --> 00:07:32,180 asked me until I had to start giving out the magical zombie answer because they were like look China 72 00:07:32,180 --> 00:07:36,740 has metal doors like in the apartment building so that's pretty good that's a good start and most of 73 00:07:36,740 --> 00:07:41,300 their buildings are made out of concrete so like we have stronger walls they're not going to bust 74 00:07:41,300 --> 00:07:46,580 through like a wooden cabin or something but if there are enough of them they'll just stay out 75 00:07:46,580 --> 00:07:52,980 there indefinitely until they can come in and eventually you have to bring up the magical zombie 76 00:07:52,980 --> 00:08:01,620 zombies don't like their bones don't turn into adamantium they don't have unlimited energy 77 00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:10,980 like the disease rabies really weird pretty zombie like you know it takes over your mind you can't 78 00:08:10,980 --> 00:08:19,620 think you don't want water you attack others but your body still must work and all of these friends 79 00:08:19,620 --> 00:08:24,820 that brought up the what what are we doing is zombie apocalypse like we could hold out for a few days 80 00:08:24,820 --> 00:08:28,980 that's really all you would need if the zombies were mindless and just trying to eat you even if they 81 00:08:28,980 --> 00:08:37,940 were rage zombies from the 28 days later film series they can pound on that metal door as long as they 82 00:08:37,940 --> 00:08:43,940 want it doesn't matter if there's a crowd of them their wrists and hands and arms are going to break 83 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:50,740 before they break through a metal door when you see a zombie staggering in a movie and it's just bones 84 00:08:50,740 --> 00:08:58,100 in the arm fine that's a cool effect but in real life that would be a magical zombie if it could look 85 00:08:58,100 --> 00:09:04,980 like that and still use its arm it needs the connecting ligaments and tissue if the muscles aren't holding 86 00:09:04,980 --> 00:09:10,660 the bones together then those bones fall apart and the ligaments and muscles aren't getting the 87 00:09:10,660 --> 00:09:17,380 fuel and oxygen those cells need to operate which is a significant margin if you just take away 20% 88 00:09:17,380 --> 00:09:24,100 of that by cutting a couple veins those muscles cannot work anymore it's like a piston running 89 00:09:24,100 --> 00:09:29,940 without any pressure it's not going to move it functions on pressure the same way that 90 00:09:29,940 --> 00:09:37,220 cells in the human body and our skeleton functions in relation to the other parts of our body 91 00:09:37,220 --> 00:09:44,740 so they can't just not have the stomach and a heart and then keep coming at you until you kill 92 00:09:44,740 --> 00:09:51,060 the brain because their body is connected and once it's disconnected it doesn't work anymore it 93 00:09:51,060 --> 00:09:57,700 doesn't function or move anymore so that's the magical zombie theory that if you dismember a zombie 94 00:09:57,700 --> 00:10:05,300 or that zombie is never fed it can keep going forever and somehow be stronger or faster than a 95 00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:11,540 functioning human body for most scenarios fictional scenarios movies and TV shows we've seen 96 00:10:11,540 --> 00:10:17,540 they are positing that there is a magical zombie one that does not need energy in its muscles 97 00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:24,980 its body does not have to connect one part to the other to move it simply has a aura that moves 98 00:10:24,980 --> 00:10:31,620 its zombie body for it and that tissue decay basically just doesn't happen so if you are worried 99 00:10:31,620 --> 00:10:38,420 about the zombie apocalypse it's a lot less likely there's not like a 1% chance that you're going 100 00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:46,580 to be living in the walking dead because those zombies can't move they can't function past a couple 101 00:10:46,580 --> 00:10:53,780 of days and most of them cannot move their bodies because the cells and muscles are not connected 102 00:10:53,780 --> 00:11:02,020 or do not have the energy to continue to move or water ever seen a zombie drink water and coincidentally 103 00:11:02,020 --> 00:11:08,100 rabies the closest thing we have to traditional zombies and movies makes you stop drinking water 104 00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:15,620 but your body needs water to function just to move just to move around and water is needed to process 105 00:11:15,620 --> 00:11:22,580 material into energy that your cells can use to move around so all those zombies are not moving 106 00:11:22,580 --> 00:11:30,180 they're dying pretty quickly so they can get real crazy and run around and tear apart the dogs in 107 00:11:30,180 --> 00:11:36,020 the town but if you stay indoors for a few days most of them are dead after that you need to come up 108 00:11:36,020 --> 00:11:43,700 with a really focused plot that makes sense like you know I like the fungus thing in the last of us 109 00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:48,660 or the paracordiceps that that's probably based off of because that was a huge meme right before 110 00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:57,380 the last of us was brought up I wrote a short story about zombies based on the cordiceps virus 111 00:11:57,380 --> 00:12:04,580 when that meme was going around so that assumption is that the body mutates basically like x-men 112 00:12:04,580 --> 00:12:11,380 so much that it can pull in energy from the sun because it's a fungi or something like that so that 113 00:12:11,380 --> 00:12:17,700 it does sustain itself with energy but that rate of mutation is just one not consistent 114 00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:24,340 all the zombies are not going to be able to receive energy from this freak one in a billion 115 00:12:24,340 --> 00:12:30,580 billion mutation that allows one zombie to photosynthesize because it's infected with a fungi 116 00:12:30,580 --> 00:12:39,540 most of the other mutations are going to be no ears or more teeth not a sudden complete overhaul 117 00:12:40,340 --> 00:12:47,620 of the cell energy intake that works comprehensively throughout the body and functions 118 00:12:47,620 --> 00:12:53,860 and the other one is that that kind of mutation is such a leap that would be such a holistic 119 00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:58,580 comprehensive mutation everything would have to work together so it wouldn't be one mutation it would 120 00:12:58,580 --> 00:13:05,060 be a hundred trillion mutations in the body occurring simultaneously because of a fungus 121 00:13:05,860 --> 00:13:11,620 which yeah magical zombie makes for a great story but you don't have to worry about the zombie apocalypse 122 00:13:11,620 --> 00:13:18,660 just worry about the real apocalypse guacamole has a ton of holidays they party all the time 123 00:13:18,660 --> 00:13:25,620 and when I got here there were two consecutive weeks of one was called virgin of the brown Jesus 124 00:13:25,620 --> 00:13:31,300 or something or maybe it was the brown virgin vietrán morena a lot of people told me about it but 125 00:13:31,300 --> 00:13:37,620 all the explanations were like yeah no and then they would say vietrán morena again but they weren't quite 126 00:13:37,620 --> 00:13:43,460 sure what it was beyond that like what the significance of the holiday was that they knew the name of 127 00:13:43,460 --> 00:13:48,900 it and that there are huge processions where people carry a giant casket on their back and sway 128 00:13:48,900 --> 00:13:53,380 and sing and dance so that's pretty cool to see you can see it all through the streets and then 129 00:13:53,380 --> 00:13:55,700 I mentioned that because they did the procession again today 130 00:13:56,820 --> 00:14:03,140 samana de la Santa the week of the saint started yesterday and there were these like little kids 131 00:14:03,140 --> 00:14:09,700 dressed up as roman soldiers because they chase Judas through the streets so they're symbolically 132 00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:16,020 getting revenge on him for betraying Jesus and I saw like a whole school like a hundred little kids 133 00:14:16,020 --> 00:14:22,580 dressed as roman soldiers today walking behind this procession it was pretty cool very interesting 134 00:14:22,580 --> 00:14:30,820 holiday to observe I took an uber and the guy almost exclusively listened to 70s love ballads and disco 135 00:14:30,820 --> 00:14:40,660 but he was huge with like tattoos and like real badass but he was listening to disco and love 136 00:14:40,660 --> 00:14:47,620 ballads the whole hour that I was in the car being driven back to my apartment and it was awesome 137 00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:53,540 because a couple of songs were by heart who I love and so when I got home I just listened to heart 138 00:14:53,540 --> 00:14:58,980 for like four hours heart is so good if you guys don't listen to heart you should go listen to heart 139 00:14:58,980 --> 00:15:05,380 oh and on the way home I also saw a radio shack in Guatemala so they still have the physical 140 00:15:05,380 --> 00:15:11,700 stores of radio shack in Guatemala which shocked me because I haven't seen one in the states in 141 00:15:11,700 --> 00:15:17,220 15 years of very long time it's all online but here in Guatemala there's so many people working 142 00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:22,660 on projects and fixing things all the time they must have use for a store of electronics 143 00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:28,900 and I still had the original red logo and everything it was just I just saw it on the side of the road 144 00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:34,900 and I was very excited maybe too excited my headphone cords when I used to work 145 00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:39,620 corded headphones always broke no matter what the brand was or how expensive they were so whenever 146 00:15:39,620 --> 00:15:45,860 I would buy a new pair of headphones I would go to radio shack and buy super sturdy jacks and super 147 00:15:45,860 --> 00:15:53,780 sturdy cords and then solder them so that they never broke so maybe that's why I have a soft spot 148 00:15:53,780 --> 00:15:59,380 for radio shack still the memories of rifling through all the little racks and drawers for the best 149 00:15:59,380 --> 00:16:07,220 components so the governor here in misco did I mention the governor already uh his name is Ernesto 150 00:16:07,220 --> 00:16:15,540 Braum or netto and he loves dressing in costumes and going to parties and he's but he styles himself as a 151 00:16:15,540 --> 00:16:24,740 gangster but all of his costumes resemble the ymca village people and it's awesome because he 152 00:16:24,740 --> 00:16:31,620 post all of these photos of his different costumes but he seems to think he's giving off a very tough 153 00:16:31,620 --> 00:16:40,020 vibe but most of the time he looks like a village person he dresses up like a cowboy the most 154 00:16:40,740 --> 00:16:47,460 he also dressed up as an iron man I saw a storm trooper costume a construction worker costume which 155 00:16:47,460 --> 00:16:52,900 was maybe my favorite because he had a big tool belt but it looked like he didn't know what any of 156 00:16:52,900 --> 00:16:59,380 the tools were for but he was just standing looking at a piece of wood holding a hammer while other 157 00:16:59,380 --> 00:17:03,700 real construction workers stood around him it was my favorite picture that picture is pretty great 158 00:17:03,700 --> 00:17:10,660 and then he just released like 30 pictures of this pool party like a community pool party he 159 00:17:10,660 --> 00:17:17,220 went to where he handed out McDonald's happy meals and dressed like a cowboy when he wasn't shooting 160 00:17:17,220 --> 00:17:24,180 everybody with a squirt gun yeah he also had a real gun kind of he had a real gun and a holster 161 00:17:24,180 --> 00:17:31,940 but then he was shooting everybody with a squirt a nerf water gun also anyway it's been a fun week 162 00:17:31,940 --> 00:17:39,620 lots happening uh i'm just gonna shout out a bunch of shows i've been rewatching recently firefly 163 00:17:39,620 --> 00:17:46,340 Clifford the movie so funny with martin short yolo dark crystal bobsburgers she helped she raw the 164 00:17:46,340 --> 00:17:52,020 bear be in poppycat infinity train don't know how nobody knows about infinity train because that show 165 00:17:52,020 --> 00:17:57,940 rocks and by nobody knows i mean i haven't seen memes about it on the internet much i have seen 166 00:17:57,940 --> 00:18:03,380 a lot of memes about she raw and that's why i had to check that out and that is a pretty funny pretty 167 00:18:03,380 --> 00:18:11,060 well done show so i'm just rewatching all those again i recommend them all it's been good talking to 168 00:18:11,060 --> 00:18:15,940 you i hope you dress up as a village person too in your spare time or shoot water guns at your 169 00:18:15,940 --> 00:18:21,700 community actually i guess i wouldn't do that in the states but in same countries water guns can 170 00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:27,620 be fun still i hope your week is as fun as mine was and if you want to talk to me i'm bit of a 171 00:18:27,620 --> 00:18:40,580 rambler at all the socials and gmail.com and i will talk to you soon