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I Was Drunk The Day My Mom Got Out of Prison · Armstrong & Getty One More Thing

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  Speaker 1: I was drunk the day my mom got out of prison.
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  Speaker 1: It's one more thing. I'm getty. I'm like a country song.
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  Speaker 1: It is a country song. It's one of the greatest
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  Speaker 1: country songs of all time by David allen Coe who died.
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  Speaker 1: So he's in the news, and I was just thinking
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  Speaker 1: about all the times I played his music working at
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  Speaker 1: country bars and uh. He has a talking part in
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  Speaker 1: that song where he says, I attempted to write the
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  Speaker 1: greatest ever country music song, and to have the greatest
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  Speaker 1: country music song of all time, you have to have
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  Speaker 1: your mom, prison trucks, booze, et cetera. And so the
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  Speaker 1: refrain on that part is, I was drunk the day
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  Speaker 1: my mom got out of prison, so I went to
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  Speaker 1: pick her up in the rain. But before I got
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  Speaker 1: to the station in my pickup truck, I got runned
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  Speaker 1: over by a damned old train. And then you get
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  Speaker 1: into the sing along part, and it is such a
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  Speaker 1: great bar song. Everybody's swaying and singing, and then you know,
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  Speaker 1: going home with people they shouldn't have sex with.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, it's just fantastic. Ah, the great David dead, so
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  Speaker 2: did he? We have mostly hits on his own. I
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  Speaker 2: know he wrote and I know you don't want to
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  Speaker 2: hear this.
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  Speaker 1: I don't talk about it. Take this chop and shove it.
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  Speaker 1: Probably his biggest hit, novelty song. Yeah, Yeah, he had
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  Speaker 1: other regular songs. Did he write have like.
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  Speaker 2: Hits through other people like sometimes great songwriters do.
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  Speaker 1: I don't know if he didn't. Man, he has a
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  Speaker 1: country bar staple. I'll tell you that. I was listening
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  Speaker 1: to some Robert Zimmerman the other day.
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  Speaker 2: Some some of you know him as Bob Dylan, And
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  Speaker 2: often when I listened to Bob, I just can't wait
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  Speaker 2: to hear covers of his song. Yeah, even more than
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  Speaker 2: the original. I agree, you want to hear my favorite
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  Speaker 2: Dylan cover propatly?
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  Speaker 1: Sure? What's that? Why not?
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  Speaker 2: Ah? Jason and the Scorchers version of Absolutely Sweet Marie.
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  Speaker 1: I don't believe I've heard that. I will listen to that,
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  Speaker 1: and I will listen to that in my amazing cyber
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  Speaker 1: truck stereo in away home today. Oh there you go.
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  Speaker 1: One other thing to mention before Katie gets to a
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  Speaker 1: really unfortunate story. Yeah, am I going to take the podcast?
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  Speaker 1: Are we going to end it in a down? Angle?
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  Speaker 1: Hold down? Joe said he's got Oh it's unfortunate. Alright,
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  Speaker 1: stay with us before I get to that, though, I've
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  Speaker 1: got a I had some sort of prostate test that
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  Speaker 1: didn't show up, right, So they're doing a follow up
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  Speaker 1: test on something. AnyWho, for forty eight hours, I can't
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  Speaker 1: ride a bike, a motorcycle, or have sex. Which what's
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  Speaker 1: the point of being alive? If I can't do these
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  Speaker 1: three things in the next forty eight hours? What am
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  Speaker 1: I supposed to do? But so I gotta gotta remember,
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  Speaker 1: I gotta stay on my game. Ask your chatbots. Are
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  Speaker 1: you right? You ride a motorcycle, somebody sees you, you
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  Speaker 1: look kind of hot, you end up having sex, You've
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  Speaker 1: blown the whole thing. You gotta tell no, no, can't.
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  Speaker 1: I'm saying, off the motorcycle, bike and away them away, Okay,
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  Speaker 1: tell us your story, Katie.
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  Speaker 3: Oh, this is just freaking awful. So there is a
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  Speaker 3: particular restaurant that I'm a big fan of, and it
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  Speaker 3: has a parking lot that is not not well planned out.
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  Speaker 3: And this couple umm recently we're pulling in. The driver
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  Speaker 3: of the car was ninety and the passenger was his
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  Speaker 3: eighty seven year old wife.
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  Speaker 1: Sounds like my mom and dad. Almost exactly.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, so's he's pulling into the parking spot, and she
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  Speaker 3: decides that she's going to get out and stand in
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  Speaker 3: front of the truck that he was driving and helped
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  Speaker 3: direct him into the parking spot. Oh boy, Somewhere in
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  Speaker 3: the middle of all this, he punches the gas instead of.
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  Speaker 1: The brake, runs her over and kills her. Oh golly,
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  Speaker 1: can you imagine now.
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  Speaker 3: I've seen some correspondence with the granddaughter on a couple
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  Speaker 3: of these news stories about it, and she says they
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  Speaker 3: were both sharp as can be, and they would have
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  Speaker 3: been the first ones to give up their keys if
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  Speaker 3: they felt they could no longer drive and all this stuff.
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  Speaker 1: But then it's like ninety, Yeah, that's tough because my
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  Speaker 1: dad still sharp, still drives. I know, I don't have
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  Speaker 1: any hesitation with him driving.
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  Speaker 2: But ah, wow's that's amazing. What percentage of folks, I mean,
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  Speaker 2: what percentage of folks get to ninety, But what percentage
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  Speaker 2: of folks can still drive skillfully at that age? I
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  Speaker 2: can't believe it's terribly high.
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  Speaker 1: Most people, most people voluntarily, it's usually I can't. It's
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  Speaker 1: an I sight thing seems to be in my experience,
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  Speaker 1: which gets you more than the competency thing.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, my dad killed by a golf cart doing
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  Speaker 2: the same thing. Well, not parking in a difficult parking space.
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  Speaker 2: But guy, I think he may have been riding in
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  Speaker 2: the passenger seat. And if you've ever played golf and
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  Speaker 2: your partner gets out, you can like drive from the
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  Speaker 2: seat on the right. But the guy hit the accelerator
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  Speaker 2: instead of the break and he plowed into my dad.
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  Speaker 2: And thank god he's still alive because my dad was
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  Speaker 2: what eighty four at eighty three at the time.
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  Speaker 1: And I did that the other day.
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  Speaker 2: I was on the passenger side of a golf cart
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  Speaker 2: and my buddy was what I and so I was
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  Speaker 2: pulling it up to the tee and I accidentally hit
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  Speaker 2: the gas and I'm like, oh my god, just like
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  Speaker 2: happened to my dad.
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  Speaker 1: Do you that or any old fellows do you think
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  Speaker 1: it was age related at all? I hate to say this,
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  Speaker 1: but I feel like, even at sixty one, I feel
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  Speaker 1: like I make more mistakes than I used to make.
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  Speaker 1: You don't think so.
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  Speaker 2: No, well only physically because I've had so many like
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  Speaker 2: hip problems and then muscular problems to do with my hips.
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  Speaker 2: It was like just swinging and missing more than an
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  Speaker 2: attention problem.
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  Speaker 1: Is it was a it was, Yeah, that's sort of
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  Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. And I don't know if it's
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  Speaker 1: a I haven't had any of those things. Just connection
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  Speaker 1: between the brain and the hands or something. I don't know,
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  Speaker 1: but it's not a lot. I don't think that I
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  Speaker 1: didn't my keys taken away from me, but it's more
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  Speaker 1: than it used to be. And that is I can't
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  Speaker 1: tell you you're wrong. Go ahead, Katie saying.
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  Speaker 3: Well, that's just such a hard thing to I mean,
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  Speaker 3: I remember when my parents took my grandpa's keys, and
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  Speaker 3: that was that was a huge freaking deal.
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  Speaker 1: I'll bet well.
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  Speaker 3: I mean, there goes the independence, you know, of of
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  Speaker 3: travel and that.
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  Speaker 1: One hundred percent, one hundred percent. My dad goes down
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  Speaker 1: to the McDonald's every single morning, gets in the car,
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  Speaker 1: drives down to the McDonald's, and sits around with some
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  Speaker 1: old guys who he argues with because they're all liberals
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  Speaker 1: and he hates them.
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  Speaker 2: And he's fun, Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: Share some McNuggets. That's what he likes to do. And
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  Speaker 1: then he'll come back and say, you wouldn't believe what
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  Speaker 1: Bill said today. He thinks that, you know, I love
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  Speaker 1: your dad already gets him going for the day. Wow.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, he and your dad could share bond, to Katie.
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  Speaker 1: But if he couldn't drive down to the McDonald's and
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  Speaker 1: hang out with those old dudes every day, he would
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  Speaker 1: really hate that. No doubt. Uber and Lyft help a lot,
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  Speaker 1: because now you used to be because my parents are
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  Speaker 1: in a small town towns towns that didn't have taxis
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  Speaker 1: because it wouldn't be financially viable. There's uber and Lyft everywhere.
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  Speaker 1: Oh that's great, What a god send for for ulsters.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, so this comp actually, I want to see we
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  Speaker 3: you guys think of this. There's a company actually advertises
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  Speaker 3: in the restaurant that had this tragedy happen in front
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  Speaker 3: of but it's I forget what.
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  Speaker 1: It's called, but they show up.
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  Speaker 3: It's two of them, and one of them will drive
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  Speaker 3: your car home so that you don't have to go
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  Speaker 3: get your car the next day.
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  Speaker 1: That's their service. That's pretty cool. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, I thought of that years and years ago, that
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  Speaker 2: that would be a good service. But it have to
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  Speaker 2: be a good hard drinking area.
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  Speaker 1: Shouldn't have business to But as a side hustle, it'd
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  Speaker 1: be all right. Yeah, you had a point, Michael, Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: my great grandmother. She was like eighty nine, ninety years old,
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  Speaker 1: and she would not let go of the keys and
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  Speaker 1: it was a problem. They finally caught her going up
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  Speaker 1: a freeway ramp the wrong way and the SHP. Luckily,
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  Speaker 1: luckily there was a CHP officer. He pulled her over
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  Speaker 1: and said, you get out of that car. You're done. Well,
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  Speaker 1: that was it. He took her home. That could have
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  Speaker 1: been so bad. Yeah, he said she didn't know what
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  Speaker 1: she was doing. Luckily, my mom voluntarily, just like I
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  Speaker 1: can't drive anymore, she decided, uh, yeah, my motorcycle wreck
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  Speaker 1: was a me fault, completely, my fault, just lack of attention.
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  Speaker 1: But I don't think I would have done years ago.
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  Speaker 1: Although I've blamed that on self driving vehicles, I think
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  Speaker 1: that's an up and coming issue that people are going
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  Speaker 1: to learn about. If you have a self driving vehicle,
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  Speaker 1: a muscle that you've been flexing your whole life, all
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  Speaker 1: of a sudden you let an atrophy because you don't
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  Speaker 1: have to pay attention anymore. And then I get into
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  Speaker 1: cars that don't have self driving and oh lad, that's right.
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  Speaker 1: I can't just look around and stare at my phone
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  Speaker 1: for ten seconds if I want. Oh, that's kind of scary.
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  Speaker 1: It's very scary, and I guarantee it's a real thing.
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  Speaker 1: Guarantee you and I did that on my motorcycle. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: I saw another great tiger Woods crashing his car meaning
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  Speaker 2: the other day. I can't remember the setting exactly, but
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  Speaker 2: I like the fact that that's continuing. Yeah, that is
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  Speaker 2: actually the classic illustration of the Latin phrase.
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  Speaker 1: I can never remember.
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  Speaker 2: A castigo redund redendo mores mockery teaches manners, or mockery
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  Speaker 2: teaches morals. Pilled up jackass crashing his car, putting people
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  Speaker 2: in danger, needs to be mocked for the rest of
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  Speaker 2: his life, and people get the idea.
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  Speaker 1: I don't want people to say that about me, right exactly?
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  Speaker 1: I agree. Well, I guess that's it.