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Sometimes you have a lot in common with the Narcissist in your life · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  I'm your favorite selfaware narcissist, Mr. Lee Hammock,
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  better known as mental illness across all social media
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  platforms. This your first time seeing my
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  face and hearing my lovely voice.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and I use my platform
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  on social media to raise awareness for NPD.
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  Get more people into therapy like myself, and also validate
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  the victim, survivors and thrivers of state disorders.
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  Say toxic people say toxic traits.
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  Today's episode is going to be about how all narcissists don't
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  have to love bomb you. Sometimes you just have a lot in
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  common with the person. Y'all.
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  Sometimes you just have a lot in common with a narcissist.
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  I know. They're just like no, no, no we
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  don't. No we don't.
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  I'm not a narcissist. If we have a lot in common with
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  a narcissist, they will mean that I myself am a narcissist.
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  No, it does not. Y'all, no, bear, bear, bear with
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  me here. You see what I'm saying?
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  You know, bear with me. So before we hop in today's
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  episode and get deep into it, y'all make sure y'all go ahead
• 0:55
  and subscribe to my newsletter e-mail list because like I said,
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  my kids book is finished, It's done.
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  It will be coming out here shortly.
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  But yeah, now we're going to hop right into it.
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  Not all narcissists have to love by me.
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  Y'all because over the top extreme signs of infection early
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  on don't work for everybody. They don't, they.
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  Absolutely do not work for every single person because everybody
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  on the planet is different. So some narcissists don't have
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  to love by me. You and some narcissists don't
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  necessarily have to mirror you. Sometimes you just have a lot in
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  common with the person you know. Sometimes y'all like the same
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  types of music, sometimes y'all like the same type of food,
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  sometimes y'all like the same type of trips and traveling and
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  things like that. Sometimes you just you just have
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  a lot of common interest. Y'all.
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  You see what I'm saying? Sometimes you might both be
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  artists or actors or models or whatever the situation is.
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  There's a lot of times in these situations where you just have a
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  lot in common with the person you have.
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  Because, like I said, not love bombing doesn't work for
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  everybody. Like being bombed with signs of
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  infection could turn some people off.
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  You know what I mean? Like me.
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  Like I said me and my wife. Like I didn't.
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  I wouldn't say I necessarily love bombed her.
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  We just had a lot in common. We like the same types of
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  movies. We listen to the same types of
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  music we like. We both have very, very similar
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  types of similar types of humor, you know, So we we were both, we
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  both had a lot of this stuff going on in these situations.
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  Like we both like we were a lot alike.
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  You know, of course I have a personality disorder, but you
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  know, that's that. It's beside the point.
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  Sometimes you just have a lot in common with this person.
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  And when you have a lot in common with the person, they can
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  actually make you make the relationship go deeper.
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  It can make actually make the roots go deeper then love
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  bombing does. Because sometimes when you have
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  a lot in common with the person, like you like kindred spirits
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  and not you feel like a kindred spirit.
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  You feel like you. This person was meant for you
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  because like, especially if you have some weird obscure hobby or
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  craft or something that you like that this person also likes, you
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  feel like this is destined. I've never met anybody who likes
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  the same who likes this band called Poster Pumpkin.
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  Yeah, whatever it is, you know, nobody knows about Poster
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  Pumpkin except for me. You know what I mean?
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  Nobody knows about my favorite artist shooting vids in his car
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  in the rain. Nobody knows about him.
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  I know this is super obscure, y'all, but that's how it goes
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  sometimes. That y'all might actually have
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  very, very unique things in common and that could actually
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  attach, make you attached to the person more.
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  You know what I mean? And that's why I tell people
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  just like not everybody goes through a love bombing phase
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  now. Everybody gets devalued,
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  Everybody gets discarded emotionally or physically or
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  both. Everybody gets discarded, but
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  not everybody gets the love bombing phase, the idealization
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  phase, you know, doing but like doing.
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  The first phase of meeting the narcissistic person that doesn't
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  have to love bomb you or that doesn't love bomb you because
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  you have a lot of things in common.
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  It's that the relationship still follows to the same type of
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  pattern because just because you have things in common doesn't it
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  does not mean that y'all are exactly alike, if that makes
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  sense. Just because you have a lot of
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  things in common, it doesn't necessarily mean that y'all two
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  people are kinder. Like I said, it doesn't
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  necessarily mean that you don't have things in like the things
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  you don't like you might hate. The things that you don't like
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  they might hate. And vice versa.
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  The things that you you do like or some things that they don't
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  like you might hate or some things that you might like they
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  might hate. You see what I'm saying?
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  That's when it like the little mirroring comes into play.
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  Or that's when the deception comes into play sometimes.
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  Because if you if they tell you something that they do and you
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  say they don't like it and so my business is messed up.
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  If they tell you something that they like but you hate it,
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  that's when the lion and manipulation comes in, because
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  now they start to play with it. You see what I'm saying?
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  Now it becomes toxic and manipulative right there in that
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  space. You see now it now it goes down
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  that path right there because they still are lying to you.
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  It's just a different like they just don't need the love
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  bombing. They still devalue you because
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  after that the honeymoon phase wears off.
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  After that goes downhill, they will start to devalue you and
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  discard you. Just because you have a lot of
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  things in common doesn't mean that they won't cheat on you or
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  lie to you, because they're y'all have a lot of habits and
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  things like you like to do in common.
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  But the personality still might be different.
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  They still still could be a liar and a cheater.
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  Y'all like the same types of music, the same types of food,
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  the same types of travel and stuff like that, but it doesn't
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  mean that that person is less of a cheater or something along
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  those lines. You know what I mean?
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  There's like to tell people in these situations or these
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  scenarios, you got to be very, very careful even when you meet
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  somebody that you have a lot in common with.
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  Because if they still lie to you and cheat on you, you might feel
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  like this is your soul mate because y'all have a lot, like
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  say y'all have a lot of things in common.
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  They didn't necessarily have love on you, but y'all have so
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  much in common. You like I'm never going to meet
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  anybody else like this. You can still become super
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  attached to a person that you have a lot in common with.
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  You know what I mean? I'm never ever going to meet
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  anybody like you. I'm never ever going to meet
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  anybody who who does this. So you hold onto the
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  relationship regardless. Even if they start lying to you
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  or drinking too much or putting their hands on you or skipping,
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  like I said, just ghosting you, when they start doing that, it's
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  still because you have a lot of comment, it still makes it very,
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  very difficult to cut the person off.
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  It still makes it very, very difficult to get rid of the
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  person in order to cut ties with the person, to break up with the
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  person. Because y'all still have so much
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  in common. It's not love bombing, but it's
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  still very, very uniquely similar to it, You know what I
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  mean? It's still not the love bombing
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  face, but you still can get idealized like you.
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  It's not love bombing. They're not bombing.
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  You would love, but they can still idealize you because,
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  like, they might, they feel the same way about you.
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  Like, oh God, the narcissist might feel the same way about
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  you having a lot of stuff in common with them.
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  Like I've never met somebody who likes this.
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  I've never met somebody who gets me when I say this type of stuff
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  right here. I never like, met anybody who
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  likes obscure movie quotes and blah blah blah.
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  They still idealize you, they still can put you on a pedestal.
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  They just might not love bombing the hell out of you to get you.
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  You know, you still fall in love with them or something along
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  those lines. So you still have to be careful
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  because they still will do things to get you attached to
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  them. It's just not that they
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  necessarily won't love bomb the hell out of you and confuse you
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  and over you. Overwhelm your senses with
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  things. Because, I mean, they still
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  can't give you a little love bombing, A little love, not
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  necessarily love bombing. It'll be like a little love.
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  Yeah, I heard me say this, boy. Like a little love pop, Little
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  love pop on things, you know, they might still do things for
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  you. They might surprise you with
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  things that Y'all have in common that you might not have
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  expected. They can surprise you with
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  concert tickets or something like that.
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  Or that cuisine, that obscure cuisine that you love so much.
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  Those frog toes, not even frog legs.
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  You like the the sprinkle, the the toes of frogs on your, I
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  don't know, something silly, but it gets into that space right
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  there. You know what?
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  I said. Not everybody's going to get the
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  love bombing phase, the over the top stuff because it doesn't be
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  realistic. Y'all some of y'all are you
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  watching this? You just like, well, love
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  bombing wouldn't work on me because I'm not.
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  I don't, I don't like the over the top stuff so they don't have
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  to go over the top with you, you know what I mean?
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  But also, this is the make you say this before I cut in the
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  video. They might try to love bomb you
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  because that's what they like to do, but if they get a reading
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  that it does, it's not working, then they will pull it back.
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  They'll rule it in. Hey, I know we.
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  I know we really like each other.
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  I know we just did this. But it's a little much.
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  You're coming on a little too strong.
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  Like I understand. They.
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  I told. I know I told you.
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  I like pink roses. I know I told you I like them.
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  I love pink roses. But you didn't have to get me 17
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  dozen of them. That's over the top.
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  What? What the hell I'm supposed to
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  do? All these roses?
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  You see what I'm saying? Yeah.
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  Then they won't get you. They won't get you that many
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  pink roses again. They'll course correct.
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  Narcissistic people. Course correct.
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  I said they, all of them don't have to mirror you but love bomb
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  you. But but some of them will
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  absolutely course correct If there's stuff that they normally
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  are accustomed to doing does not work.
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  There's stuff that they're accustomed to doing, isn't
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  working for you or own you or something along those lines.
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  You see what I'm saying? So you have to just be very
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  weary when you first meeting people.
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  Y'all have a lot of things in common, but they don't have like
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  say, still watch the behaviors. Just because y'all have a lot of
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  habits and hobbies and things like that in common, does it
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  mean that this person is? Does it mean that this person is
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  not toxic, abusive, manipulative, bummy, whatever
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  the whatever, marry to somebody else.
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  It doesn't. It doesn't necessarily mean
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  those things right there. Y'all.
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  Just because you have a lot in common doesn't necessarily mean
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  that this person is not a toxic manipulator.
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  You know, just just because you have a lot in common and you
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  didn't get love bombed does not necessarily mean that you're not
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  with a narcissist, you that you're not with or have been
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  with a narcissistic person. You know what I mean in the in
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  these spaces and what not. So.
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  So let me cut this thing short. Y'all.
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  Make sure you like to subscribe to the newsletter.
• 10:45
  The link is in the comments, not in the comments section.
• 10:47
  The link is in the description of every single video I do and I
• 10:51
  saw. Also if y'all noticed like the
• 10:52
  website Cameo I'm on cameo now doing shoutouts for people and
• 10:56
  stuff like that. Sending motivational quotes and
• 10:58
  videos to people. Links in the description of
• 11:00
  every video and podcast I do as well like and subscribe for more
• 11:03
  you know. As always look the hell this is
• 11:05
  out peace. If you haven't already, make
• 11:08
  sure you check out joining my newsletter Y'all e-mail list so
• 11:10
  you don't miss out on any exciting updates I have coming
• 11:13
  up. Y'all the links in the
• 11:14
  description of every video and podcast I do.
• 11:16
  Thank you so much.