Latest / Lately with Lexi / 24. Why I Left Nashville and What it Taught Me About Starting Over

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24. Why I Left Nashville and What it Taught Me About Starting Over · Lately with Lexi

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  three years ago i left my dream home in nashville there were
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  three floods black
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  mold and probably the worst landlord you could ever imagine i
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  walked away from the
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  version of myself i had spent years building and i had no idea
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  where i was going
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  next today i'm sharing what i've learned about starting over
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  and why sometimes the
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  SPEAKER_00: things that fall apart in your life are actually in your best interest
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  Welcome back to Lately with Lexi where I help wellness brands
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  grow and spiritual
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  SPEAKER_00: seekers evolve.
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  SPEAKER_00: Every episode explores spiritual wisdom,
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  SPEAKER_00: business building,
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  SPEAKER_00: or personal reflections from my life.
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  SPEAKER_00: Come hang out as I share what I'm creating,
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  SPEAKER_00: learning,
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  SPEAKER_00: and navigating as a yogi,
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  SPEAKER_00: a business consultant,
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  SPEAKER_00: a healer,
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  SPEAKER_00: and entrepreneur.
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  all right let me preface this by saying you do not have to burn
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  your life down to
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  start over but sometimes you do three years ago my boyfriend
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  and i thought we had
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  found our dream home in nashville it had a sunroom that we
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  turned into a yoga
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  studio and a meditation room our basement we converted into a
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  music studio the
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  backyard had a pool and it backed up to a farm if you're
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  familiar with nashville
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  SPEAKER_00: We had walking trails leading to Shelby Park, and it felt magical.
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  It was this safe haven where we thought us empaths could go and
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  retreat and feel at ease.
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  SPEAKER_00: Or so we thought.
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  SPEAKER_00: Not even a week in, we started to notice some major issues with the home.
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  SPEAKER_00: The sunroom floor was literally sinking in.
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  SPEAKER_00: Then the first flood came, then the second and the third.
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  Next thing we knew,
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  the roof also started leaking in the middle of our living room.
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  SPEAKER_00: And finally, undeniable mold poisoning.
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  SPEAKER_00: And every time something broke,
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  we would report it and get condescending and threatening emails
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  in return.
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  SPEAKER_00: Our landlord wasn't just neglectful.
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  SPEAKER_00: She was actively dishonest.
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  SPEAKER_00: And through all of it,
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  SPEAKER_00: my body was telling me what my mind did not want to accept at the time,
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  SPEAKER_00: and that was to leave.
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  SPEAKER_00: Leaving meant walking away from the life that we were building,
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  SPEAKER_00: the community we found,
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  and the version of ourselves that felt stable and rooted for
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  the first time in
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  SPEAKER_00: years.
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  So through everything I was experiencing with this home
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  literally collapsing,
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  SPEAKER_00: we decided to stay.
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  Because knowing you need to leave and actually leaving are two
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  very different things.
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  SPEAKER_00: What followed were four months of lease termination negotiations,
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  SPEAKER_00: back and forth with attorneys,
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  SPEAKER_00: emails that basically went nowhere,
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  SPEAKER_00: conversations that circled without resolution.
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  SPEAKER_00: The whole process was taxing emotionally, financially, financially.
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  SPEAKER_00: It felt like such a waste of money, time, and energy.
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  SPEAKER_00: And really the worst part was that I felt like I was stuck in limbo.
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  SPEAKER_00: We couldn't move forward, but we also couldn't stay.
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  SPEAKER_00: I remember the day that we finally left.
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  SPEAKER_00: It was really bittersweet because we loved this home initially.
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  SPEAKER_00: And we saw this vision in our lives here long-term and that fell short.
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  SPEAKER_00: You know,
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  SPEAKER_00: I wish I could tell you that after leaving Nashville,
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  we immediately settled into our forever home or that I found my
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  new favorite city,
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  SPEAKER_00: but that is the furthest from the truth.
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  SPEAKER_00: So what did leaving Nashville teach me about starting over?
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  SPEAKER_00: Really,
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  SPEAKER_00: there's three main things,
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  SPEAKER_00: and I think they matter whether you are leaving a city,
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  SPEAKER_00: a relationship,
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  SPEAKER_00: a job,
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  SPEAKER_00: or just a version of yourself that doesn't fit anymore.
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  The first thing I learned is that there's a difference between
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  a challenge you're
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  SPEAKER_00: supposed to work through and a situation you are being pushed out of.
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  SPEAKER_00: And here's how you know the difference.
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  SPEAKER_00: Your body will tell you.
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  SPEAKER_00: When I was in Nashville dealing with attorneys to terminate my lease,
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  SPEAKER_00: I kept trying to rationalize staying.
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  SPEAKER_00: We had just moved in,
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  SPEAKER_00: we set up the space exactly how we wanted it,
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  SPEAKER_00: and we also had an 18-month lease.
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  SPEAKER_00: And it really felt irresponsible to leave so soon.
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  SPEAKER_00: However, my intuition about leaving wasn't just this whisper.
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  SPEAKER_00: It was screaming at me.
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  SPEAKER_00: And there's a body of work in trauma psychology that talks about this.
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  Peter Levine,
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  the founder of Somatic Experiencing,
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  teaches that trauma isn't just the event.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's what happens in the nervous system.
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  SPEAKER_00: when we don't get to complete a stress response.
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  SPEAKER_00: So what happens is the body holds emotional charge.
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  And when I use the word trauma,
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  it doesn't have to be a big,
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  massive catastrophic event.
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  It can be something as small as having to move or going through
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  a relationship
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  SPEAKER_00: ending and not to diminish these things either.
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  SPEAKER_00: They can certainly be, you know, very big traumas in our lives.
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  SPEAKER_00: But for me,
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  SPEAKER_00: this one instance,
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  SPEAKER_00: I would say it was,
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  SPEAKER_00: you know,
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  SPEAKER_00: on that smaller scale,
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  SPEAKER_00: this happens a lot.
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  SPEAKER_00: And we don't realize how
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  SPEAKER_00: profoundly it impacts the body, our stress levels, and Stevie agrees.
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  SPEAKER_00: So the body holds this emotional charge.
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  And if we ignore it long enough,
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  the signal escalates and will inevitably catch up with us.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I think a lot of us have been taught to override that,
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  SPEAKER_00: to push through pain or discomfort,
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  SPEAKER_00: to make things work no matter what.
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  There's also a decade of stress research showing that chronic
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  psychological stress
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  SPEAKER_00: will keep cortisol elevated and dysregulates the nervous system.
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  SPEAKER_00: And when you're living in an environment that feels unsafe,
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  SPEAKER_00: even subtly unsafe,
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  SPEAKER_00: your body treats it as a threat.
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  SPEAKER_00: But there is a difference between resilience and resistance.
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  SPEAKER_00: So here's what I mean by that.
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  SPEAKER_00: Resilience is staying because you are aligned.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's hard, but it's worth it.
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  SPEAKER_00: That's like healthy stress.
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  SPEAKER_00: My body knew I needed to leave long before my mind was ready to admit it.
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  And maybe that's something you can be curious of within
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  yourself and just to tap
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  SPEAKER_00: into that awareness and communication of your own body.
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  SPEAKER_00: Trust that wisdom.
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  The second thing leaving Nashville taught me is that you don't
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  need a plan to let go.
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  All you need is a willingness to trust that the next step will
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  reveal itself.
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  SPEAKER_00: Once you take the first one in yogic philosophy,
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  SPEAKER_00: there's a teaching in the yoga sutras around non grasping.
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  So the idea that suffering comes from clinging from tightening
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  around what we think
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  SPEAKER_00: we need in order to feel secure.
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  SPEAKER_00: Now, I left Nashville without knowing where the heck I was going.
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  SPEAKER_00: I spent months floating between different states,
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  SPEAKER_00: almost like I was trying on different identities,
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  SPEAKER_00: and none of them fit.
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  SPEAKER_00: For a while,
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  I felt like a failure because I was so attached to finding my
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  new home and planting
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  SPEAKER_00: new roots,
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  SPEAKER_00: but what I needed instead was to loosen my grip and this attachment.
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  Yogananda taught that true detachment means remaining centered
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  in the self,
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  which is an individualized expression of God while actively
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  participating in life
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  SPEAKER_00: with our full humanity.
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  SPEAKER_00: So detachment, it doesn't mean not caring.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's not about collapsing when something external shifts.
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  SPEAKER_00: You know,
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  I think we've been sold this idea that starting over means you
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  have to know where
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  SPEAKER_00: you're going,
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  that you need a five-year plan and a clear destination and
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  total certainty before
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  SPEAKER_00: you make any sort of leap of faith.
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  SPEAKER_00: But as someone who's navigating a lot of life transitions,
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  SPEAKER_00: I have learned that's not how it works,
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  SPEAKER_00: at least not for me.
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  And I'm guessing that's probably not how it works for a lot of
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  you either.
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  SPEAKER_00: Detachment isn't about having the answer.
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  It's about releasing your grip on the outcome long enough just
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  life to show you what's next.
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  So if you're in a season of transition right now and you don't
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  have it all figured out,
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  good.
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  SPEAKER_00: You're not supposed to.
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  SPEAKER_00: Just take that next step and then the next one.
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  SPEAKER_00: and trust that the path will reveal itself as you walk it.
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  SPEAKER_00: All right,
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  and the third thing leaving Nashville taught me is that home
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  was never a place I
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  SPEAKER_00: needed to get to.
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  SPEAKER_00: It was always a place inside of myself that I could access.
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  SPEAKER_00: I spent so much energy in Nashville trying to create the perfect external
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  SPEAKER_00: environment,
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  SPEAKER_00: the yoga studio in the sunroom,
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  SPEAKER_00: the music studio in the basement.
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  SPEAKER_00: I thought if I could just set up all the right things in my space,
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  SPEAKER_00: I would feel settled,
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  SPEAKER_00: but none of that external security held.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's the thing we forget when we're chasing the next job,
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  SPEAKER_00: the next relationship,
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  SPEAKER_00: the next city,
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  SPEAKER_00: the next level.
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  SPEAKER_00: Those are all external things.
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  And we think the external stuff is going to give us the feeling
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  that we're looking
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  SPEAKER_00: for,
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  SPEAKER_00: that safety,
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  SPEAKER_00: that security.
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  SPEAKER_00: But it doesn't because ultimately it can't.
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  SPEAKER_00: Home isn't a destination.
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  SPEAKER_00: It is a state of being.
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  And once you realize that,
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  you stop needing everything around you to be perfect and
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  You stop needing the external world to hold you because you
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  learn how to hold yourself.
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  SPEAKER_00: So if things feel unstable right now,
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  SPEAKER_00: your living situation,
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  SPEAKER_00: your work,
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  SPEAKER_00: relationships,
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  SPEAKER_00: your sense of direction,
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  SPEAKER_00: I want you to ask yourself this.
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  SPEAKER_00: What is the one practice that brings you back to yourself?
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  SPEAKER_00: What's the one thing that reminds you that you're going to be okay?
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  Even when it feels like nothing is going the way you thought or
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  you want it to be
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  SPEAKER_00: going,
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  SPEAKER_00: what is that thing?
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  When you're in the midst of a major life transition and
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  everything feels unstable,
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  SPEAKER_00: it's often a signal to get grounded,
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  SPEAKER_00: get present,
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  SPEAKER_00: start to listen to those signals of the body.
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  SPEAKER_00: So here's what worked for me.
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  And I want to be really honest about this because I think we
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  have a tendency to
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  SPEAKER_00: over romanticize spiritual practice and what it looks like.
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  SPEAKER_00: And let's just kind of leave all that fluff behind.
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  SPEAKER_00: When I left Nashville, I was not meditating every morning, nowhere near.
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  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't rolling out my yoga mat probably at all.
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  I was certainly not doing breath work or even keeping up with
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  some of my simpler
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  SPEAKER_00: routines and rituals.
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  SPEAKER_00: I would try, but so much of those things felt forced.
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  SPEAKER_00: And that force wasn't what I needed and what I wanted.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's just none of it was serving me.
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  So I had to get really honest about what actually can serve me
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  in this season of life.
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  What my body actually needed at this time was far simpler than
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  I could have ever imagined.
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  SPEAKER_00: It needed movement.
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  SPEAKER_00: It wanted fresh air and it wanted nature.
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  SPEAKER_00: So that's what I gave it.
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  SPEAKER_00: Two hour walks in the woods became my ritual almost daily.
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  And there's actually a lot of research on this concept of
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  forest bathing that shows
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  time in nature will lower your cortisol levels and activates
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  the parasympathetic
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  SPEAKER_00: nervous system.
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  SPEAKER_00: So that part of the nervous system responsible for forest.
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  SPEAKER_00: So those long walks, they were not random.
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  SPEAKER_00: They were regulating.
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  SPEAKER_00: My body wasn't asking me to plan what was next.
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  SPEAKER_00: It was asking to slow down.
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  SPEAKER_00: It was asking to feel safe.
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  SPEAKER_00: And nature was the place that I could relax into those feelings.
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  SPEAKER_00: Listen, your spiritual practice doesn't have to look a certain way.
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  It is allowed to shift depending on where you are in your life
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  and what it is that
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  SPEAKER_00: you intuitively need or desires.
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  For me,
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  the practice was walking in the midst of the chaos of moving
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  and leaving Nashville.
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  SPEAKER_00: Walking was more than enough.
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  SPEAKER_00: For you, it might be something completely different.
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  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's sitting by a body of water, journaling, cooking, dancing.
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  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's getting in your car and driving with no destination.
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  SPEAKER_00: All of these things can help regulate the nervous system if you allow it.
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  SPEAKER_00: So if you are navigating a life transition right now,
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  spend some time thinking about what is that one thing that you
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  can do to ground?
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  SPEAKER_00: Not the things that you think you should be doing,
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  SPEAKER_00: but the one thing that makes you feel the most at ease.
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  SPEAKER_00: What is that?
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  SPEAKER_00: Start there and trust that whatever it is is more than enough.
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  SPEAKER_00: Here's what I want you to walk away with from this episode today.
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  So starting over does not require a perfect plan or having it
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  all figured out
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  SPEAKER_00: before you take that first step.
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  SPEAKER_00: What it requires is the willingness to listen.
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  SPEAKER_00: Listen when life is nudging you forward,
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  SPEAKER_00: even when it's uncomfortable,
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  SPEAKER_00: even when there's uncertainty.
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  SPEAKER_00: The thing that you're most afraid of losing,
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  it might be the very thing that's keeping you from what's
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  trying to come through
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  SPEAKER_00: you.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I know that's hard to hear when you're in it.
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  SPEAKER_00: Trust me.
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  SPEAKER_00: I know I've been there.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's a very familiar place for me.
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  I know it feels like the ground is disappearing beneath your
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  feet at times.
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  So if you're in that season of shifting,
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  just know you are not doing it wrong.
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  SPEAKER_00: You are being reorganized.
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  That is the reframe I'm inviting you to welcome into your life
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  and into your mind.
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  And sometimes the most aligned thing you can do is let go
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  before you can see where
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  SPEAKER_00: you're landing.
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  SPEAKER_00: Trust that you'll find your way because you always do.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening to Lately with Lexi.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: If this episode resonated, I would love to hear from you.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: Leave a comment or write a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
• 13:30
  Subscribe on Substack to stay up to date on my writings and be
• 13:34
  the first to know
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: about upcoming workshops and retreats.
• 13:37
  My next workshop will be in Sarasota,
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  Florida for the spring equinox on March 22nd.
• 13:44
  If you want more details,
• 13:45
  just send me an email and I can help you get signed up.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: Lastly,
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  all of the links to work with me are in the show notes below in
• 13:52
  case you want to
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: book a reading,
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: a healing,
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: or a consult.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's all, and I will see you next week.