Latest / Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive / September 12, 2018 | Men Of Success - Fall 2018: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Session 1

Transcript

September 12, 2018 | Men Of Success - Fall 2018: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Session 1 · Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, good morning guys.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: How you doing?
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Derek, how are you this morning?
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: I I'm doing pretty well this morning.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: That first morning when you get up at oh dark 30 to get in here.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Kind of shocking, isn't it?
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: Especially when you have a nine-month-old at home.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: Did your nine-month-old keep you up last night?
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: No, but thank the Lord.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: She woke up just as I was getting in the shower this morning.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: So it was perfect timing.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: Got to feed her, get her down, and then it was great.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: Life is good.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Wes, you got a three-month-old, right?
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Or a three-week old.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: Anybody else got a baby keeping them up at night?
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yes.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Congratulations.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: So it's about 6 45.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: We got a little bit of a late start, and we get out of here just to remind you, it's 7 30 sharp.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: So uh we're gonna go ahead and get started just to review.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Uh thanks to Tom and um uh just yes.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for the breakfast.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for the breakfast.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: And feel free to get up and keep getting more uh biscuits and gravy and stuff.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: So uh Derek, we decided we're gonna do just like we did a year ago, where we did nine sessions.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, we'll do nine sessions in the fall and about 10 or 12 in the spring.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: So we'll end November 7.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: That'll be great.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: This is this is honestly one of one of the highlights of the year.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: I always look forward to this, and I know those of you who continually come back, you do too.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: And it's awesome to see that you've invited other people so we can dive into these leadership principles that we're going to talk about for the semester.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: And more so than just the leadership principles, we want to see how they reflect Christ, and then how we can use these principles to better reflect Christ in the world that we live in.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: And besides principles that are Christian and so forth, we've got to deal with the really important stuff in life, which is KUK, which is football.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: Unfortunately, uh, we had uh something that hasn't happened, I think, since I've been alive, which is that K-State Lewis lost twin KU1 in the same weekend.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: That just doesn't happen.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Mississippi State SEC team, they have a hex on the Big 12.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Uh they I'm not even gonna repeat the terrible score.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: Uh Kansas football just won their first road game since 2009.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's amazing.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's not bad.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: Nine years later?
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's a as long as they keep it every nine years, we can say that they're consistent.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: They beat the Little Sisters of Mary, and uh no, they actually beat a team central Michigan on the road that they lost to last year.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: So this weekend, uh K-State has an easier game.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: They're they're going against uh San Antonio, some school down North Texas San Antonio, something.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: NTSU, UTSA, University of Texas San Antonio.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: KU has to play Rutgers, so it's harder to play those teams that have one name than the ones that have two names.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: And the Chiefs, wow, what a start.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody uh picked the Chiefs to lose.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Most of us did.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: But uh this guy, Tyreek Hill, went crazy and they won by 10 points.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, and if you if you know that if you have Tyree Kill on your fantasy team, he got you some major points this week.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: 44 points last week.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I lost.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: So um, so anyway, here's the book we're doing.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, we went through a bunch of books, as you know, in the spring and the previous fall.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: We decided a number of you said, hey, uh, this is like drinking from a water hose, fire hose.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: So why don't we do one book?
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: And there's no book that's better at just taking chapter by chapter than Stephen Covey's most famous book, still incredibly famous, 20 years later, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: How many of you have read this book or are presently reading this book?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Man, that's fantastic.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I've read it before too, but as I slowly reread the introduction, which we're going to cover this morning, I couldn't believe how much I didn't remember.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, there's a ton of good stuff from here.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: I remember when I was in high school, we actually went through the seven habits of highly effective teens.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: So kind of the all the same principles basically, just adapted to be more palatable for juniors and seniors in high school.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so this is really cool to run back through this book again from this particular lens, and then even more so from a biblical lens, and to see is the stuff that's in here, does this line up with God's word or not?
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: So you're gonna each need to have a book, and there's a number of ways you can get one.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, you can steal the one from our church library, which is right there if you're the first one to get to it.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: Or you can go over to the public library where we've got them, or you can buy it online, which is a lot cheaper than just going down to Barnes Noble and buying it at full price.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: But uh they're all over the place.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: So pick up one of these books.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna want to own it, you're gonna want to read it, you're gonna want to reread it 10 years from now.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: So that's great.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: Should we jump into it?
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: Let's jump into it.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna take the first, it's actually not the first chapter, it's the introductory chapter, but it sets the stage for the whole book.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's called Inside Out.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: So, this this chapter is called The Inside Out, and it provides a little bit of insight on where Covey's going through this entire book before we get to any of the seven habits and analyzing what they are and how we can implement them.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: And the very first line of the book is this it talks about public success, uh, private failure is common.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_01: I have come across many individuals who have achieved an incredible amount of outward success, but have caught themselves struggling with an inner hunger, with a deep need for personal congruity and effectiveness, and for healthy growing relationships with other people.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: So, in the beginning of the book, one of the things that he points out is that there's a problem.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: And most of us can probably identify this type of problem within ourselves in some way, in some fashion, in some form.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: And that problem is maybe we excel in one area, but inside where we're really struggling in a different area of life.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: For example, maybe things are going really well at work.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: You're hitting your numbers, you're hitting your goals, you're you're meeting your clients, you're doing the things that you're supposed to do, while simultaneously marriage is struggling at home.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: And you're not quite hitting the mark there.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: Or maybe it's with your kids.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_01: Things are going really well with your kids.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: You you feel like you have a great relationship with your kids, they're growing, they're learning, you're getting to know them.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: But at the same time, work is going terribly, or your friendships with other guys are not going well.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so, as we think through this, that's the problem, that's the lens that he's he's choosing to attack this book from is we want to be excellent in all areas.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: We want to be effective in all areas, and so in those areas where we're not effective, what exactly can we do?
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the examples that he gives is with his own son.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: And so when his son was younger, he he wasn't very athletic, he really wasn't getting the best grades in school, he wasn't doing very well, and so what he and his wife did, they did the the pump up the attitude and pump up the behavior thing.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: So, yes, you can do it, you know, you you you can do it next time, just try a little harder, you've got this.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: Don't worry about what other people say.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna encourage you, we're gonna build you up, we know that you can do it.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: But what he started to realize was at that point in time, maybe his view, their view of their son wasn't quite right.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: And at that point, he probably wasn't going to jump to be the best on the team in basketball.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: He wasn't going to be the best academically overnight just by thinking positively or just by encouraging.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: And so they realized, man, maybe we need to change the way that we see our son.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe there's other areas of giftedness that he has that he can excel more in that we're not encouraging.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: So by changing the way that we see him, we can change the way that he is.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: We can change his perception, and we can change us first, and then allow that to guide how we see him, how we see our son, how we see success for him.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: As he thought about this, he thought, now Covey had already become a well-known advisor to major companies, and as a success speaker, he said he had dedicated himself to reading every book written on success in the previous, in the last 300 years.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: And he said he had begun to notice a shift in those books, that they fell into two categories.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: The older ones dealt with character, that success was a float out of character, but all of the modern ones were about personality.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: That success was a matter of public image, your attitudes like health and wealth, uh, and uh I can, I will, I'm going to, day by day, in every way, I'm getting better and better, things like that.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: And skills and techniques that lubricate interaction.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: The character, of course, was the happiness and success comes as you slowly progress and learn principles.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: And as he kept thinking about this, he thought, you know, I've we've been dealing with our son on that sort of more surface personality area.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: And he said he began to realize that personality ethics were sort of like the top of an iceberg.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: They dealt with positive mental attitude and so forth, but character ethics were much more involved.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: They dealt with things like modesty, simplicity, justice, integrity, humility, patience, industry, courage, et cetera.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so as he began to consider this in his own family, he began to sort of shift the way he was thinking about advising major companies and realize the whole personality ethic focuses on attitude and behaviors, which are basically minor changes, as versus the significant quantum changes of changing character, changing yourself and your perception.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the personality ethic, he said, works in short-term situations.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's a great symptom, but it has but the character ethic is more long-term.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: So you can see the shift he was making, and so he began speaking publicly and saying the character ethic, which I believe to be the foundation of success, teaches that they are basic principles of effective living, and that people can only experience true success and enduring happiness as they learn and integrate these principles into their basic character.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: And he makes a reference, sort of vaguely in this introduction and inaccurately, but to this verse in Proverbs 4.23 guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's sort of inside out.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: As he continues, just before he ends this little section, Derek, he starts comparing it to sort of a tree and how the character is really the roots, and and the roots are more important.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: The personality is what you see on the surface.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: Your personality, he said, is sort of your secondary greatness, your positive mental thinking, your people skills, your win-win mindset.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: But your primary greatness, he believed, was your character.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: And that's, he says, what this book is about.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's about beliefs and values and effective living.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: That's perfect.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the one of the key words that he uses is paradigm.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: And this is it looked like most people have probably gone through this book before, and so you're familiar with the way that he uses it.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: But he he talks about paradigm and then he talks about a paradigm shift.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_01: And so as we get towards the end, he's gonna talk about this.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_01: This has to do with how we think, this has to do with how we view things.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: So his definition of paradigm is the way an individual perceives, understands, and interprets the surrounding world.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's in a sense a mental map.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: And he talks about how powerful this is, and he actually uses the example of a map.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: And so one of the things what his example is what if you're trying to get around Chicago?
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: How many of you guys have been to Chicago before?
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_01: Perfect.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_01: Lots of people have, most of us have.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: So imagine you're trying to get around Chicago, you don't really know it that well, and somebody gives you a map, and they hand you a map and they say, This is going to help you, this is going to help you navigate every street there is in Chicago.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_01: You can get anywhere you want to go.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_01: The only problem is that map is of Detroit.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: So you've got a map, and you're looking at the map, and you look up and you see Chicago, and you're realizing things aren't quite lining up.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_01: So if I follow these streets that are on this map, I'm not going to get where I want to go.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's kind of the same thing if you if you try to use your phone to navigate somewhere, and you realize that, wow, Apple maps really aren't that good, but Google Maps are clutch.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: They will get you where you want to go.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so this is that idea that he's talking about is the way that we see the world, the map that we're looking at, the lens that we're looking through, is ultimately going to filter where we go, how we navigate these problems, especially when they come to our inner selves.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so he gives, no, everyone has seen this before, but it's the picture.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_01: So we're gonna just leave it up there for a second.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: And then by a show of hands, how many of you see a young lady?
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: How many of you see the old lady?
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_01: How many of you have how many of you see both?
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_01: Great, perfect, because most people have seen this before.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: But I would also say that when we look at this example, when we look at a picture like this in the way that we see it, I naturally see the younger lady, and it takes more effort to see the older one.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: And that may be similar to you guys, or maybe you see the older lady clearly at first, but you really have to focus.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: You really have to think about okay, I know the younger one is there, but I need to concentrate more to see it.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: And that's how these mental maps, these mental shifts can work.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_01: If we've been stuck in one way or we naturally see life through one of these lenses, then it's not that the other lens is not there, it's not that we can't see differently.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it takes more effort.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: And then you can see, Sam, you're you're and it's early in the morning to see both, but you got it, man.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: Here it is.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: So on the left hand side, you can kind of see the younger lady, on the right hand side, you can see the older lady.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_01: If you have trouble seeing the older lady, look at the uh on the right hand side, the neckline where it's really dark.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: That's actually her mouth.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: And right above that is her nose, if you can, if you can picture that.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: So the whole thing that we're trying to do, we're trying to change the way we see, and he talks about the power of a paradigm shift.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_01: And you can think about Copernicus as he thought, man, maybe the earth isn't the center of the war of our universe, maybe it's the sun.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: And it changes the way we see our universe, it changes the way we see each other, or germs.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_01: At one time, germs weren't thought to be bad necessarily, or maybe not even thought of at all.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: But once we realize, oh, washing our hands can help prevent death and pregnancy in hospitals or in women or with infectious cuts, we realize how important seeing those germs for what they are matters to us.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what he talks about as a paradigm shift.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: So, how can we see that in our relationships and the areas where we struggle and the areas where we're not hitting home runs in our life?
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: Because as long as you think that success is primarily dependent on your having a positive mental attitude or on being a smooth talker, you'll head down one road.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: But uh he says, no, no.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: What you need to do is realize that he tells the famous story.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: You remember of the boat who says, you know, get out of my way, and the other boat coming this, you know, says, get out of my way.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: And finally, the uh the first captain says, you know, I'm a first captain in the Navy, and the other one says, I'm a lighthouse, and you realize, you know, um, that the lighthouse wins that situation.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: And and in his principle-centered paradigm, he says, you need to have a paradigm that realizes there are principles that always win.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: They are lighthouse principles that have endured down through the ages.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about personality, it's about character.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: There's no real excellence in all this world or no real lasting success which can be separated from right living.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: And if you'll start on the inside, he says, with inner changes, they will create outer changes.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: Don't conform.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: I think you're the one who came up with this verse, Derek.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, don't.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure we've all know this.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: Romans 12, 2, don't conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, by the way, though, uh, can I dive in here?
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because we gave some books out.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we went through some books last year, and some of those success books, and I still like them, and he says they do have a place, are about having a positive attitude and being outgoing and so forth.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: And and you and I discussed this this week.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: Uh here's a story.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: My story of my life, really quickly, is um so I get a scholarship to college, but it was dependent upon me continuing to get good grades.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I lost the scholarship after one semester because I nearly failed out, because I was just playing cards every night, basketball and ping pong during the day.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't go to classes.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: It was just, I, you know, my but I couldn't go home and didn't want my dad, my family knows a failure.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: So second semester, uh, freshman year, uh, a guy comes through and he says, and he's a recruiter for sales, for a sales organization out of Nashville, Tennessee, where 7,000 college guys a year knock on doors and sell books.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I listened to him and I thought, I'm a total failure, not just in school, but I've never asked a girl out in my life.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: I was so totally antisocial, so nervous, so shy, I couldn't talk with guys, much less girls.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: I thought, I'm never going anywhere in life unless I do something radical.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I actually signed up, which is crazy.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: The idea of me walking up to a door was insane.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, and by the course, finally, when I did it, I couldn't knock on the door, and then finally they're waiting, you know, and looking out the window.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: They open the door, tell me to get off the porch, and I go around the back of the house and cry for half an hour.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: So um, yeah, I was a, you know, I was just, but I knew I had to change something in my life.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: And what that company did is it had us reading all these success books, which were all about get up at six every morning, jump up and down, say I can, I will, I'm going to, day by day, in every way, by the grace of God, I'm getting better and better.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: Use positive mental attitude stuff.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: You have a positive mental attitude.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: All the stuff that's a band-aid in this, according to this book.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was a band-aid, and the truth is, I was a total failure as a salesman.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: I did it that summer, I did the next summer, I worked over 80 hours a week, made no money.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: My whole first summer actually made$300 and left, it was in post-dated checks, left it on the plane on my on the way home.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: So um, second summer, I made like a thousand dollars working over 80 hours a week, six days a week, going door to door because I was just it was all plastic, it was all surface, it wasn't real.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: And then something happened.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: We've talked about this to some extent, you can go outside in, you can fake it till you make it almost.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: And somehow some of that stuff leaked in, and I began not just acting positive, I actually became positive.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: I actually did care about Mrs.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: Jones.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't stopped caring whether I sold or not, and suddenly jumped in a company of 7,000 to one of the top hundred for my last three summers.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: But so, so there is a sort of a way this whole thing works where, yeah, character is far more important.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: But it's not as though the positive mental attitude stuff is worthless.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: Does that make any sense?
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that makes perfect sense.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_01: And even goes into the very last section of this book where he's talking about the way that we see the problem is the problem.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: And there's there is a a fake it till you make it mentality that can work sometimes and can actually be helpful.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the kind of the outward strategies.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: If you guys remember the like the negotiating book that we did last semester, it really wasn't about character, but it was about here's a strategy, here's an outward thing that you can do.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember working at Kids Across America for a couple summers as a camp counselor, and at I mean, have any of you guys ever worked as a camp counselor before for a summer?
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, a couple of you have.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: For those of you that have and those of you that haven't, you know that you basically have a new group of kids every week.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so when the last group of kids leaves on Saturday morning, you've got basically 24 hours to recreate.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Your mind and your body and everything until the next group of kids comes 24 hours later.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so it is, I mean, at the end of a week, just being exhausted.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_01: You're tired of kids at that point.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_01: But you realize you have nine weeks left of the summer that you have to do this.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so when the kids come into camp, we're supposed to be excited, we're supposed to be hype, we're supposed to be yelling up and down.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I can tell you, most of those weeks, it was not an internal character jumping up and down.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: It was, I need to do this because it's my job and we're supposed to.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: So maybe if I jump up and down, if I yell enough, then I'll start to actually feel excited.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: And it actually helped a little bit.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: But it was a band-aid.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: It's not a long-term fix, but it's a short-term fix.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_01: And the last, as we as we head in here, the inside out approach to personal and interpersonal effectiveness means to start first with self and even more fundamentally to start with the most inside part of yourself, with your paradigms, your character, and your motives.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: So as we look at this, that's what this whole thing is about.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever area of our life that maybe we're not hitting home runs in, or maybe we've been really good in a certain area, but they've all been band-aid reasons why we've gotten there.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_01: Not long-term solutions.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_01: And so our challenge is as we think through the seven habits, as we think about these principles, we're looking at how can I affect this relationship?
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_01: How can I affect this area?
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_01: How can I affect this problem?
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_01: But first look at myself.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_01: Look at how is my character involved?
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_01: How is my inner self involved?
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_01: How can I change as a person?
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_01: How can I let God and His Holy Spirit and the fruit of the Spirit and let all of that impact me in the way that I see, in the way that I think, and then ultimately in the way that I act to effect the change that I want to see?
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_01: And then the last verse, Galatians 6, 7, do not be deceived.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_01: God is not mocked.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: For whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_01: And so as we work into this character building, as we work into this kind of the inner stuff, the guts of who we are in our heart, when we reap in that area and we are asking God, we're asking Jesus, we're asking the Holy Spirit to help us through that, that's what we're going to sow.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: And we're going to come out with love and peace and patience and gentleness and all of those fruit of the Spirit that God wants to work inside of us.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: You've only got 20 minutes left.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: So the group discussion part this morning, you're going to have to get right on it.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: But uh, first of all, this is the first session, make sure you go around the table, share your name, where you work, if you've got wife, children, whatever.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, share where in your own experience, go around the table a second time and say, where in your own experience have you seen personality being all important while characters forgotten?
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: And a paradigm shift is badly needed.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: Home, work, school?
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: Three, in what areas of life, just in general, would you like to be more effective?
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: So at this point, uh, would you lead us in prayer and we're gonna cut you out?
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: And and next week we start on chapter one.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: If you need any help getting booked, come and talk to me.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: But uh, it's a great start.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_01: Perfect.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_01: Also, if you don't get our emails, if you don't get the weekly email, come and see me before you leave today, and we'll make sure that we get you on that list so you're updated each week and uh following along with us.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_01: So let's pray.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_01: God, thank you that we get to come together as a group of guys.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_01: We know that we have different backgrounds, different personalities, different temperaments, different life situations.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_01: But one thing that we all have in common is we need you and we need your spirit.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: We need Christ.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_01: Help us to become more like you, help us to lead better in all areas of our lives.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_01: In Jesus' name.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_01: Amen.