Latest / What's The Juice? / Ep.193 Relationship Drama Submissions

Transcript

Ep.193 Relationship Drama Submissions · What's The Juice?

0:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Bonjour, my name is Yoni Koro.
0:12
[SPEAKER_05]: Hello, my name is Alia, and we're very close today.
0:18
[SPEAKER_05]: We are super close right now.
0:19
[SPEAKER_01]: We're outside earlier for about two hours for some work stuff.
0:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Came back, made a tea, a couple of teas, turned on the heater, put on our sweats.
0:30
[SPEAKER_05]: The first thing I'd be doing when I get home is putting on my sweats.
0:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Honestly, that is the first thing you do like instantly.
0:35
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know how like before I take my jacket off I already I'm like how do you do so fast?
0:40
[SPEAKER_05]: I just don't know how somebody can come home and Like if they're not planning on leaving again continues to be wearing their outside clothes Not from like a germaphob stand point because I'm not really crazy like I don't
0:56
[SPEAKER_05]: Not that I don't care about that, but I'm not one of those people that cares that much about it, but for me it's a purely comfort level.
1:04
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you get their way faster than me, I get home.
1:07
[SPEAKER_05]: You get distracted.
1:08
[SPEAKER_01]: I get it.
1:09
[SPEAKER_01]: First of all, it takes me a long time to take my boots off.
1:13
[SPEAKER_01]: For some reason, you just pop your shoes off and they're already cozy.
1:16
[SPEAKER_05]: It's the first thing I do, pop my shoes off, take my jacket off, and then take my pants off.
1:20
[SPEAKER_05]: And I put my sweats on, and yeah, if I'm not leaving the house again, there's no point on keeping those clothes on.
1:28
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:28
[SPEAKER_05]: But we had a lovely morning.
1:30
[SPEAKER_05]: We had a lovely day today, super nice and productive.
1:33
[SPEAKER_05]: Good.
1:34
[SPEAKER_05]: We're recording this on a Monday.
1:35
[SPEAKER_05]: So it feels like a good set up for the week ahead.
1:38
[SPEAKER_01]: No, it's definitely a good set up for the week ahead.
1:40
[SPEAKER_01]: And I also just feel extra relaxed on it.
1:43
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know what kind of tea I just had.
1:44
[SPEAKER_01]: I know it's the mango, the ginger mango, but it'd be make me feel how good.
1:49
[SPEAKER_05]: Yoda's been on a Zen mode today, and we are continuing with our series that we're kind of having not officially, but you guys are loving this submission episodes, so we're going to continue, but we kind of, we promise we're going to do more than one, um, okay, maybe I shouldn't promise that, but I, we will do more than one, I know, I know, I know,
2:12
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's not, it's not even a problem.
2:14
[SPEAKER_01]: If we happen to talk about just one, let it be.
2:18
[SPEAKER_01]: When I just don't want to cut something short just because we have to get to another one.
2:22
[SPEAKER_01]: You know?
2:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, if it goes longer than, yeah, we got more episodes.
2:27
[SPEAKER_05]: That's true.
2:29
[SPEAKER_05]: We did compile them with a theme so that we can just get through multiple because there were two big themes.
2:39
[SPEAKER_05]: If you guys are a Patreon member, we talked our last weeks, or yesterday's, as in, or no, last week's episode on Sunday.
2:49
[SPEAKER_05]: Was, I feel what was a title?
2:52
[SPEAKER_03]: Rock a hole.
2:54
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay, never mind so so that doesn't the segue that was thinking doesn't work.
2:58
[SPEAKER_05]: Why because we did a We did an episode about something that was inspired by these submissions.
3:05
[SPEAKER_01]: You might have been episode before that
3:07
[SPEAKER_05]: or the episode that's coming after.
3:08
[SPEAKER_05]: Sorry, guys.
3:09
[SPEAKER_05]: We'll be recording a lot of these days.
3:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes sometimes when we record so much, you kind of lose track of what even the title was of the last episode.
3:18
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, yeah.
3:18
[SPEAKER_05]: I don't even remember what we talked about yesterday.
3:20
[SPEAKER_05]: We recorded like hell episode.
3:22
[SPEAKER_05]: So who knows?
3:23
[SPEAKER_05]: But there were some big main themes in you guys' submissions when it comes to life dilemmas.
3:28
[SPEAKER_05]: Some of them had to do a lot with relationship dilemmas of various sorts and some had to do with more like life career works stuff like that.
3:39
[SPEAKER_05]: So we had a whole Patreon episode that kind of talked a little bit about the career and life one, I think.
3:47
[SPEAKER_05]: And today we wanted to specifically talk about the relationship dilemmas because we love those.
3:53
[SPEAKER_05]: We love the drama.
3:54
[SPEAKER_05]: We love the spice.
3:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Those are always, I would say, the relationship, dilemmas are always my favorite ones to like talk about because most people can just relate to it because everyone's either want to be in a relationship, so whenever we talk about someone else's dilemma, they're thinking like whatever one won't go through that or like that's really interesting or if you're someone who's been in a relationship and maybe you went through the same thing.
4:21
[SPEAKER_05]: or you're in a relationship right now and you're thinking, I don't know this is for me, I don't know, I don't know the same feeling to good.
4:27
[SPEAKER_05]: Like there's so many relationships can get so interesting and complicated.
4:32
[SPEAKER_05]: And to be fair, like we love the drama.
4:35
[SPEAKER_05]: We love hearing about different relationships stories, what's going on, like...
4:41
[SPEAKER_01]: But I love it because I want to come from a solution.
4:46
[SPEAKER_01]: I love talking about it.
4:47
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, I just love talking shit.
4:48
[SPEAKER_05]: Or not love talking shit, but like I love hearing like the juicy details.
4:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, okay.
4:53
[SPEAKER_05]: I mean, someone's feeling like what's going down.
4:56
[SPEAKER_01]: I definitely love that too, but I also love how can we figure it out?
5:01
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
5:02
[SPEAKER_01]: You're a good guy.
5:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes I wish.
5:04
[SPEAKER_01]: What am I?
5:05
[SPEAKER_06]: You're the good guy.
5:06
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, sometimes I wish I had like a bigger, like a...
5:12
[SPEAKER_01]: I wish I was friends with more women in my life.
5:14
[SPEAKER_05]: Hmm.
5:15
[SPEAKER_05]: That sounds okay.
5:17
[SPEAKER_01]: What do you mean?
5:18
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay, continue.
5:19
[SPEAKER_01]: No, just so I can, obviously, I'm married, and what do you mean, some, some, because I can just, I love giving a device from like a male perspective.
5:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm.
5:31
[SPEAKER_05]: Maybe you're a very specific man.
5:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe they have their dating someone, but then the guy is kind of like acting weird or like he's doing certain things like, tell me,
5:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, tell me what your problem is and then I'll love to just get into and give you a male perspective or at least maybe my perspective and maybe I can understand why that guy Yeah, doing what he's doing right right right so like if you go into something like that shoot me at the end I will be your um
6:01
[SPEAKER_05]: Like you're listening board.
6:03
[SPEAKER_05]: Well, it's I think it's fine because you say this all the time and it is true I was just being silly when you said I would think I would be like a good person to like consult about a relationship Well, so that's what I was gonna say.
6:13
[SPEAKER_05]: I don't know necessarily that you would be
6:16
[SPEAKER_05]: There's no one person that is good to consult in terms of like girl, a girl consulting a male perspective about another prospect, male relationship, but they're dealing with, that they're dealing with because
6:34
[SPEAKER_05]: So many things like the same way with the women can be so different men can be so different as well and I think you specifically are a very different and I would say unique and hard to come by type of guy not to like
6:51
[SPEAKER_00]: No, okay, that's the worst problem.
6:52
[SPEAKER_05]: No, so I'm saying, I don't think you necessarily are like the best.
6:56
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't think I'm qualified?
6:58
[SPEAKER_05]: Well, I just think that like you, what you're going to say won't apply to most men.
7:05
[SPEAKER_01]: So...
7:06
[SPEAKER_05]: Because most men are not as like nicer thoughtful or like caring is now But let's say now.
7:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you first of all.
7:14
[SPEAKER_01]: I appreciate it, but also so who would qualify for that?
7:17
[SPEAKER_01]: What's up?
7:17
[SPEAKER_05]: I mean, I don't know because someone else was about that because you said I want to I want to have more like women friends that I could give advice to So I could share like so they could get a man's perspective, but I think like
7:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, one because I love talking about these things, and it's true, but I think you don't know, I don't think you know Yes, I do.
7:38
[SPEAKER_05]: I don't think you know what like other men do.
7:41
[SPEAKER_05]: Other like not good men do.
7:45
[SPEAKER_01]: I do, do you?
7:47
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay, okay.
7:48
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay, these days though, but see even even just talking about this is like fun Because I don't know.
7:54
[SPEAKER_05]: I think relationships and and like content around relationships and stories and The drama that comes with all that is always gonna be very interesting to people
8:06
[SPEAKER_05]: And this actually brings us to the sponsor today's video A24 as they are about to release their new film The Drama featuring Zendaya and Robert Pattinson.
8:18
[SPEAKER_05]: We just recently watched the trailer as it just came out, I think maybe a week ago or so.
8:23
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, about a week ago.
8:25
[SPEAKER_05]: And I don't know, I really am so curious.
8:29
[SPEAKER_05]: to figure out what the hell Zendaya's character Emma says that is so crazy.
8:37
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm trying to figure it out.
8:38
[SPEAKER_05]: What would be the worst thing that you've ever done that would make somebody doubt whether or not they want to marry?
8:43
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, first of all, I'm thinking about the worst thing that anybody can do.
8:46
[SPEAKER_05]: I know, but I do.
8:46
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's too predictable.
8:47
[SPEAKER_01]: So it seems like it's something else because also her character for some reason, I don't think they would do something to that extreme, but it is extreme enough.
8:56
[SPEAKER_05]: to like shake some things and also the way that she said it too was what well let's before if you've never if you've never heard about the A24 the drama movie coming out it's coming out on April 3rd they just released a trailer you guys can watch it right now
9:13
[SPEAKER_05]: The premise is basically a happily engaged couple is put to the test by this new sort of story that comes to light, that the fiancee, Emma, the woman in the relationship reveals this thing that she did.
9:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know where.
9:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Well.
9:31
[SPEAKER_05]: Well, I don't know where the whole scene is basically two couples are asking each other like, what's the worst thing that you've ever done.
9:39
[SPEAKER_01]: They're playing a game.
9:40
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like a game.
9:40
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a couple's game.
9:41
[SPEAKER_05]: Well, yeah, their friend couple was like, what's the worst thing that you guys or know, before they got married, they told each other, what was the worst thing that they've ever done?
9:49
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
9:50
[SPEAKER_05]: So then they shared theirs and we kind of see snippets, but we don't really get to see exactly what they said.
9:55
[SPEAKER_05]: But it seems like they're kind of, you know, they're funny, but not crazy stories.
10:00
[SPEAKER_05]: And then Robert Pattinson's character says his and the reaction is good, but it's not anything crazy.
10:08
[SPEAKER_05]: And then it's Emma, so Zendaya's character revealing what she's saying, but we only hear like the very beginning and then it cuts to the reaction that everybody's saying, like, what the, like, what are you crazy?
10:22
[SPEAKER_05]: And then the rest of the movie is kind of like this unraveling of this relationship of like, are they still gonna get married?
10:30
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, and it's like two weeks before them getting married or two weeks or maybe even a week.
10:34
[SPEAKER_05]: I don't know.
10:35
[SPEAKER_05]: It could be a week So that's kind of what the movie is about and the trailer.
10:39
[SPEAKER_05]: It does such a good job at leaving you wanting to figure out what the hell she did and and what could be so bad And do they still end up getting married is is the big thing?
10:49
[SPEAKER_01]: And what would you even do in that situation?
10:51
[SPEAKER_01]: You know that you're about to get married, and this is like the peak of love.
10:56
[SPEAKER_05]: Exactly.
10:57
[SPEAKER_01]: This is when you're so excited you've been looking forward to this day your whole life, and it's happening, and then you find out something about your partner.
11:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, do you even move everybody's already invited?
11:06
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
11:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Everything is organized, paid for whatever.
11:09
[SPEAKER_05]: And also that's like the two that couple that their friends with, they're starting to, I think they're more friends with the guy with Robert Pattinson's,
11:19
[SPEAKER_05]: character.
11:20
[SPEAKER_05]: And the couple is basically asking like, do you still trust her?
11:25
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, I don't know, do you think you can still marry her?
11:27
[SPEAKER_05]: Like after finding out the information?
11:29
[SPEAKER_05]: It kind of seems that way from the trailer.
11:31
[SPEAKER_05]: I don't know.
11:31
[SPEAKER_05]: You guys should watch yourselves.
11:33
[SPEAKER_05]: Let us know what you think.
11:34
[SPEAKER_05]: But the drama will be out in theaters on April 3rd.
11:40
[SPEAKER_05]: It would be, I think it would be a really great movie to watch with the group of friends.
11:44
[SPEAKER_05]: And discuss after I think you be it's going to be a really good.
11:47
[SPEAKER_05]: It's kind of like a romance with the twist type of movie and I love a 24 films We're huge a 24 film fans so we just know it's going to be really good and we're definitely going to go see it in theaters again out in theaters April 3rd What would you let's say we didn't we weren't married yet, and then we played this exact game
12:08
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I mean and then I say something like I I just really think it depends what you would say It depends on what it is.
12:14
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, like we've never really asked each other that, but I mean What would you say is the worst thing you've ever done?
12:19
[SPEAKER_01]: The worst thing I've ever done?
12:21
[SPEAKER_05]: I mean, do we want to say it on air?
12:23
[SPEAKER_01]: No, I mean the worst thing I've done honestly I've always been a good kid
12:28
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay, when I took my one year child, we were talking more like adult life.
12:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, I was, I've, I've always been a good adult person.
12:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I don't, the worst thing I've done.
12:37
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, let me think about the worst thing.
12:40
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, the worst thing is not even bad.
12:41
[SPEAKER_01]: I just got to pick something like something that's like less good.
12:44
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I'd like, yeah, yeah, exactly.
12:46
[SPEAKER_05]: I don't know if I have the worst thing I've ever done.
12:48
[SPEAKER_01]: What's the worst thing I have ever cheated on someone?
12:50
[SPEAKER_01]: I've never cheated on someone.
12:51
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
12:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Have I ever, like, did I lose the worst thing I've ever done?
12:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Wait, wait, wait, I'm still going.
13:00
[SPEAKER_01]: The worst thing I think you're kind of just taking a long time.
13:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Can I take my time and think about it?
13:04
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, go ahead.
13:06
[SPEAKER_01]: I think for me, maybe not keeping up with people and family.
13:09
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I see it, lamb.
13:12
[UNKNOWN]: Yeah.
13:14
[SPEAKER_01]: No, the worst thing I've ever done is just not keeping up with people, maybe in my life.
13:18
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, that's not, that's even quality.
13:20
[SPEAKER_01]: But that is the worst thing that's still my answer.
13:22
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not like, I don't know.
13:23
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't have anything crazy.
13:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Unless if I remember something crazy, I'll talk about it later.
13:27
[SPEAKER_01]: But I don't know.
13:29
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't have anything crazy that I've done in my life.
13:31
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
13:31
[SPEAKER_01]: What about you?
13:32
[SPEAKER_01]: What's the worst thing you've done?
13:33
[SPEAKER_05]: I think.
13:35
[SPEAKER_05]: The worst thing I've done is probably when I already told the story, I think, on Patreon.
13:41
[SPEAKER_05]: I don't remember what episode this was, but I like hacked my friend's Facebook one time.
13:48
[SPEAKER_04]: Oh, damn.
13:48
[SPEAKER_05]: When I was in school, so I was young.
13:51
[SPEAKER_05]: I was maybe like 14, 15.
13:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but I mean, that's how it should be.
13:59
[SPEAKER_00]: How did you get in there?
14:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you want to get in there?
14:00
[SPEAKER_05]: I think I don't remember how maybe she like told me her password or something.
14:04
[SPEAKER_05]: And then we both liked the same guy.
14:07
[SPEAKER_05]: So I thought maybe she was like texting him.
14:09
[SPEAKER_05]: So that I want to like snoop and see what they're talking about.
14:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
14:12
[SPEAKER_05]: But then she realized that I that I like hacked into her Facebook.
14:16
[SPEAKER_01]: If you want to hear the rest of the story, it is fully on Patreon.
14:19
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, we don't know what.
14:21
[SPEAKER_05]: We don't know which one.
14:22
[SPEAKER_05]: So you might as well just listen to all of them if you have it.
14:26
[SPEAKER_05]: I love available in a description.
14:29
[SPEAKER_05]: But okay, let's get into these submissions for me guys and see what y'all are going through.
14:34
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
14:35
[SPEAKER_05]: First one, somebody said, I am falling out of love with my boyfriend because I'm losing the attraction.
14:45
[SPEAKER_01]: That is something that is, it's a serious thing.
14:49
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, just, you have to actually think about what, what do you want to do?
14:54
[SPEAKER_01]: What, how do you want your life to be?
14:56
[SPEAKER_05]: Well, the biggest thing is attraction is one of those things that, That she'll fade anyways, one day.
15:04
[SPEAKER_05]: I don't, I don't know.
15:05
[SPEAKER_05]: However much we want to say that looks don't matter.
15:12
[SPEAKER_05]: it does matter I mean one it does matter but I think to actually attraction isn't just what somebody looks like exactly who that's good you know like what attracts me to somebody isn't just what they look like it has also be maybe the way we speak they're like body language maybe
15:37
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, maybe this person.
15:39
[SPEAKER_05]: I mean, this person said losing attraction, which attraction is like a whole and also this person probably looks the same that they did that at the beginning.
15:48
[SPEAKER_01]: I think attraction.
15:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, but I feel like for the most people who say this exact same thing right here, they probably talking about the physical.
15:57
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm losing attraction that means I don't think he's attractive anymore.
16:01
[SPEAKER_01]: We're not talking about he's funny his smart.
16:04
[SPEAKER_01]: I love the way he moves.
16:06
[SPEAKER_01]: We're not talking about that.
16:06
[SPEAKER_01]: I think she talking.
16:08
[SPEAKER_05]: She's talking about Have he looked but I think over time those things can also fade like maybe at the beginning of the relationship There's certain things about that person that are attractive that at one point just kind of get old is like things They used to find endearing now you might find annoying
16:24
[SPEAKER_05]: is this something I can find that be I can see that becoming like a thing or it's like at first I found this to be like really cute that they do it but now that that we've been together for like five years and they keep doing this thing it's now becoming annoying it's not really attractive anymore you know I can see that happening
16:42
[SPEAKER_01]: I think the first thing that comes to my mind is you have to, well, I was going to say you have to talk about it.
16:50
[SPEAKER_01]: But it depends on what it is because if it is about looks, obviously you can't talk about that.
16:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, it depends.
16:57
[SPEAKER_05]: I think it depends.
16:59
[SPEAKER_05]: Like,
17:00
[SPEAKER_05]: Maybe this person in the longer cares about taking care of themselves.
17:06
[SPEAKER_05]: I have a friend who has talked to me before about in her relationship, attraction to her partner, has been kind of like a thing that is like a ballad that kind of comes and goes.
17:24
[SPEAKER_05]: you know and she's she's spoken to her partner about this before and you have to obviously be very gentle about the way that you bring that up because that's like a really really uncomfortable conversation you know.
17:42
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like if you
17:43
[SPEAKER_01]: You can bring that up to me right now and it wouldn't be so uncomfortable.
17:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Like if you say, you don't like the way I dress anymore.
17:50
[SPEAKER_05]: Or you just when you wear a specific piece of clothing?
17:53
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'll tell you what time it actually like it's nothing.
17:56
[SPEAKER_05]: What's what I think it's very, it's different than that though.
17:59
[SPEAKER_01]: What do you mean?
18:00
[SPEAKER_05]: No, it's different than like this person's talking about.
18:02
[SPEAKER_05]: Like you could wear your hair in a specific way or put on a hat in a specific way.
18:07
[SPEAKER_05]: I just feel like babe, I really don't like how that looks on you.
18:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and that's it.
18:10
[SPEAKER_01]: And I appreciate it.
18:11
[SPEAKER_05]: That's a different than what at this person saying, I think.
18:14
[SPEAKER_05]: Because this person saying like losing a traction, I think that's an overall arching thing.
18:19
[SPEAKER_01]: And then what was the second part of that?
18:21
[SPEAKER_05]: And I mean, and they said they're they're falling out of love with my, they're falling out of love with my boyfriend.
18:27
[SPEAKER_05]: So yeah, I mean, I think falling out of love losing a traction is like, there has to be more than just one thing.
18:37
[SPEAKER_05]: Because when you're with somebody, you're with someone like, Broly, you're now with somebody just because they're hot.
18:41
[SPEAKER_01]: I know, but you don't want to stay with someone.
18:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, if you're falling out of love with someone, that does, you shouldn't.
18:49
[SPEAKER_05]: Would you say that's something you can work on?
18:50
[SPEAKER_01]: Falling out of love.
18:52
[SPEAKER_05]: It's still love someone, but you're not in love with them.
18:56
[SPEAKER_05]: Because there is a difference.
18:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, this is a whole different topic, because we can get into that.
19:01
[SPEAKER_06]: I mean, okay, let's get to do it.
19:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, being in love with someone is that when you look at them, you still think like holy shit.
19:09
[SPEAKER_01]: This is my person and I love them and they look good and and and they're I'm attractive to them.
19:15
[SPEAKER_01]: I love the way they will talk to them.
19:18
[SPEAKER_01]: What did I say?
19:18
[SPEAKER_01]: It's attractive to them.
19:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, it's attractive.
19:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Sorry.
19:20
[SPEAKER_01]: English is not my first language.
19:22
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just to fit.
19:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, I don't think they should.
19:27
[SPEAKER_01]: Personally, if I feel the same way this person is feeling, and obviously, I don't know it 100% but I don't like, I will never stay in something that I'm not happy yet.
19:39
[SPEAKER_01]: It could be like a some sort of a breakup that's just peaceful.
19:44
[SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't have to be...
19:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but I'm not I'm also not seeing it in this should break up if there's something but you know your partner more than anybody So if there's some things you can definitely try to stay together I'm saying like do you think there's something they could like what is there to do or to work on in order to fix this?
20:01
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I think we need to normalize if you're not interested in this person anymore.
20:06
[SPEAKER_01]: You're not in love with them anymore, you're not attractive.
20:08
[SPEAKER_01]: It's okay to now want to be with them no more.
20:10
[SPEAKER_01]: I know, but what if they feel like you're always trying to be like...
20:12
[SPEAKER_01]: It's so long.
20:13
[SPEAKER_05]: What have you been together for like three years, you know?
20:15
[SPEAKER_01]: Three years is not that long.
20:16
[SPEAKER_05]: Three years is a good amount of time.
20:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Then I don't know, but I am- Three years we got married after three years.
20:24
[SPEAKER_05]: That's a good amount of time.
20:25
[SPEAKER_01]: That is a good amount of time.
20:27
[SPEAKER_01]: But my advice is, for me, personally, is that do what makes you happy.
20:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't ever stay in the relationship, and you- I don't put numbers on it.
20:36
[SPEAKER_01]: I could be with someone for a year or 20 years.
20:38
[SPEAKER_01]: The moment I'm not- No.
20:40
[SPEAKER_05]: No, man.
20:41
[SPEAKER_01]: What?
20:42
[SPEAKER_05]: If we for some reason get to the point where you feel like-
20:46
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not happy anymore.
20:48
[SPEAKER_05]: You're not in love with me anymore.
20:51
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
20:51
[SPEAKER_05]: But we have, I mean, this is a different conversation with us.
20:55
[SPEAKER_05]: I could let's say we have kids and we're married and we built this life together and all these things and you're like falling out of love.
21:06
[SPEAKER_05]: You're literally telling me they're just gonna go, okay.
21:08
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm not really in love with you anymore, so bye.
21:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's it.
21:12
[SPEAKER_01]: No, it's just too.
21:14
[SPEAKER_01]: I was just kidding.
21:15
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm crazy like I will that's never gonna happen.
21:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah You know falling out of love.
21:20
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's it's okay.
21:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Like would you say you're still in love with me right now?
21:23
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm still in love right now.
21:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I am.
21:27
[SPEAKER_01]: So why are you blushing?
21:28
[SPEAKER_06]: I don't know because I feel like saying that you're in love with someone is such a vulnerable thing.
21:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I'm very much still in love because it's, um, I don't know.
21:37
[SPEAKER_01]: It's year seven.
21:38
[SPEAKER_01]: And it almost feels like each year, like the love grows to, with like, it's weird, right?
21:43
[SPEAKER_01]: Like most people think it should be backwards.
21:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
21:47
[SPEAKER_05]: My dad said year seven is like a big year because I think we talked about this on the podcast.
21:52
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, yeah, I did like a whole episode how years like if you make it past year seven you mean something You mean yeah, it means I come you you will beat together forever yeah, but to end this to move on from this submission You know, I feel like follow your heart
22:10
[SPEAKER_05]: I mean, I think I also think it's okay, like you don't have to think your person is the most hottest, most beautiful, most whatever, every single day.
22:27
[SPEAKER_01]: But nobody's talking about being hot, though.
22:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Bringing that up.
22:31
[SPEAKER_05]: Well, this is losing a traction.
22:32
[SPEAKER_05]: So I'm just thinking about that.
22:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, like you can be an amazing relationship And your partner is not like your partner doesn't have to be hot like that's something to be shit.
22:41
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, not hot like real world people are just normal Normal good people, you know, yeah, that's true.
22:47
[SPEAKER_05]: Sorry, don't this is this.
22:49
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, we have to say for this one.
22:50
[SPEAKER_01]: I think so on stage just, um, you know, be Just think about it think about what
22:57
[SPEAKER_01]: is unattractive, what don't you like about this person?
23:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Can this person do anything about that?
23:02
[SPEAKER_05]: Does it mean you that you're like being extra?
23:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Extra.
23:07
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, like some people are just kind of being like starting to, like, are your standards too high in terms of?
23:17
[SPEAKER_05]: Is there somebody else around that's making you feel like you're unattracted to the person you're with?
23:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Or maybe did you meet someone else and you were like, actually?
23:25
[SPEAKER_01]: I could be with them.
23:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
23:26
[SPEAKER_05]: Exactly.
23:28
[SPEAKER_05]: Exactly.
23:29
[SPEAKER_05]: Exactly.
23:30
[SPEAKER_05]: That could happen.
23:31
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like that's the real thing, too.
23:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, what?
23:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, what?
23:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, what?
23:33
[SPEAKER_01]: They're like, they're like, they're like, I could.
23:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Especially if that other person shown you interest.
23:37
[SPEAKER_05]: Well, yeah, and if they're like, a little playful.
23:40
[SPEAKER_01]: And this is way more fun than when I'm about to go home.
23:42
[SPEAKER_05]: Also they're like, they're cute, and then why?
23:44
[SPEAKER_01]: No, that's fucked up.
23:45
[SPEAKER_01]: You guys, you have to be loyal, okay?
23:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, love is more than just who's, who's, anyways, we can talk about that.
23:51
[SPEAKER_05]: But that's what I'm saying.
23:52
[SPEAKER_05]: Attractions, not just about how someone looks.
23:54
[SPEAKER_05]: We could be like having good banter.
23:56
[SPEAKER_05]: It could be having good back and forth.
23:59
[SPEAKER_05]: And then you go home and the person you're with is like, damn, like, take a joke or something, bro.
24:04
[SPEAKER_01]: also just have a good heart, you know, if the person you're with is just a good human being, no matter how they look like, that's all that matters at the end of the day.
24:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's true, but if they're boring, if they're boring, then spice it up, it's up to you.
24:19
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, tell them to stop being boring.
24:21
[SPEAKER_05]: I feel like it's important also to let them know how you're feeling.
24:24
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to say that.
24:24
[SPEAKER_05]: So they can just spice it up.
24:26
[SPEAKER_01]: How are you going to tell someone to stop being boring, if they can stop being boring,
24:30
[SPEAKER_06]: I mean you could just as you told me.
24:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay next.
24:33
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay, somebody said staying or leaving my marriage I mean, shit.
24:39
[SPEAKER_05]: This is as real as it gets.
24:40
[SPEAKER_01]: Staying or leaving.
24:41
[SPEAKER_01]: We don't know why.
24:42
[SPEAKER_05]: This person couldn't tell us anymore.
24:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's what we can't even help you.
24:47
[SPEAKER_05]: Honestly.
24:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Staying or leaving.
24:48
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I'm an asshole.
24:49
[SPEAKER_01]: You should stay.
24:50
[SPEAKER_05]: I don't know.
24:51
[SPEAKER_05]: I think I think the fact that you're already thinking about leaving the marriage.
24:55
[SPEAKER_01]: The fact that this question came to you should leave.
24:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, maybe not.
25:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, do you have a kid?
25:01
[SPEAKER_06]: I feel like this is really annoying to listen to.
25:03
[SPEAKER_06]: Why?
25:03
[SPEAKER_06]: Because we're not really saying something.
25:05
[SPEAKER_06]: I mean, really some good shit.
25:07
[SPEAKER_06]: Like, okay.
25:08
[SPEAKER_05]: Next one.
25:09
[SPEAKER_05]: So he said, I feel like I'm not belonging in a relationship anymore, but I still love this person.
25:15
[SPEAKER_05]: Not belonging in a relationship anymore.
25:19
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to think about that for a second.
25:21
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to take my time.
25:22
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, I still love this person, but I don't belong in this, in this.
25:28
[SPEAKER_01]: I actually never heard that you want to put it like that.
25:30
[SPEAKER_01]: How do you not belong in a relationship?
25:33
[SPEAKER_01]: And you still love that person?
25:34
[SPEAKER_05]: Maybe it feels like they feel like they're alone in the relationship.
25:38
[SPEAKER_05]: Maybe it's become too comfortable to monotone, to the same.
25:42
[SPEAKER_05]: It's not exciting.
25:43
[SPEAKER_05]: Maybe they're outgrow it, maybe they want to.
25:47
[SPEAKER_05]: Maybe
25:48
[SPEAKER_05]: the way that they have set up the relationship, they're realizing they want something different.
25:53
[SPEAKER_05]: So they feel like they don't belong in this relationship that they have to create it.
25:56
[SPEAKER_05]: Because you know, as a relationship, you usually establish, like routines, what you do together, like what are you guys into?
26:05
[SPEAKER_05]: And maybe one person is starting to grow in one direction and in a direction that the other person isn't coming with them.
26:15
[SPEAKER_05]: in things they want to do, how they want to spend their time stuff like that and then they don't want to follow the other person and their control of being where they are and it's kind of like maybe I can't, we're not compatible anymore.
26:29
[SPEAKER_05]: I still love this person, but we just want to live differently.
26:33
[SPEAKER_05]: We want to like go in a different direction and this person doesn't want to come with me.
26:38
[SPEAKER_05]: Because I think relationships get fused into a specific, you have to be even in the... Are they married?
26:48
[SPEAKER_05]: No, no, no.
26:50
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, we match on so many things, how much we like to be at home, how much we like to be outside.
26:55
[SPEAKER_01]: But all these different things.
26:56
[SPEAKER_01]: What our goals were pretty aligned, and we know what it takes for all these different things that we want to do, and we're kind of like on this mission together.
27:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Now with them, I don't know if that's the case.
27:09
[SPEAKER_01]: That's the reason that you brought up.
27:10
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I just feel like someone saying, I don't belong in this relationship anymore.
27:14
[SPEAKER_05]: It just made me think how a relationship could become kind of like a fixed thing.
27:18
[SPEAKER_05]: Like they start to create this whole world and life together.
27:21
[SPEAKER_05]: And then one person realizing like, I no longer want that.
27:26
[SPEAKER_05]: But then the other person in their relationship is good being there.
27:30
[SPEAKER_01]: I think this is one of those dilemmas that you can
27:37
[SPEAKER_05]: you can interpret in different ways?
27:39
[SPEAKER_01]: No, that you can dis-person with this problem and have a conversation with the other person.
27:44
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, I think, I mean, hopefully they already are.
27:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, a conversation can solve.
27:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, if I was going through that,
27:50
[SPEAKER_01]: we would come to a solution.
27:53
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, because this is really your person, like, when I think they're still loving this person.
27:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so when I think about being with someone with our married or together for a lot of years, I'm really envisioning my, this is your my person, your my family, and whatever problems we have, we're going to talk about it and we're going to go through it together.
28:12
[SPEAKER_01]: There's never like a,
28:14
[SPEAKER_01]: I have to figure it out.
28:16
[SPEAKER_05]: I just wonder what is the thing that's making this person feel like they don't belong in the relationship because there's some things that are fixable and there are some things that you can compromise on and then there are some things that are not.
28:27
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
28:27
[SPEAKER_05]: If this person is like, you know what, I don't want to...
28:31
[SPEAKER_05]: It could be like the...
28:33
[SPEAKER_05]: I think one of the most common reasons why a lot of people break up is location.
28:38
[SPEAKER_05]: one person loves living in a place and having a life there and another person doesn't.
28:45
[SPEAKER_05]: Let's say they both chose that they like to live in the country and the blah blah blah, and all these things that they do.
28:51
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a valid point to break up.
28:53
[SPEAKER_05]: I think so.
28:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Because we only have one life, just because my partner loves LA and I want to move
29:03
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's where I see my life and that's what I want.
29:06
[SPEAKER_01]: I think you should do that and unfortunately you guys are going to have to break up.
29:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Because...
29:10
[SPEAKER_05]: That's so easy to say.
29:11
[SPEAKER_01]: No, I know, but like think about it, you have one life like don't you?
29:15
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, unless you just want to compromise and be like, you know what, I'm okay with living there, maybe later we'll move like there's you can have many conversations about these things, but if you really want something really, really bad and you're in a relationship and you guys want two different things, I think there's a conversation
29:39
[SPEAKER_01]: But no solution that move to like a place where it's not L.A. or Australia, you just move somewhere else completely that you both like.
29:49
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, but I just don't think there is such a place.
29:51
[SPEAKER_01]: I just don't think it's fair for someone to move to where their partner wanted to move to and they're just not happy there.
29:57
[SPEAKER_05]: True.
29:59
[SPEAKER_01]: People do it.
30:00
[SPEAKER_05]: And I just shouldn't be that I have to stay here even though I don't like it just because my partner wants to stay here.
30:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly, but some people make a work like if I if sorry good the best thing for the relationship is for both people to be happy because you can move somewhere where your partner wanted to move to any You're not truly happy at some point.
30:20
[SPEAKER_01]: That's going to backfire Because now that's going to be the thing that you will bring up every argument not every argument, but Yeah, I could see an argument like years down the line
30:31
[SPEAKER_01]: I moved to Australia all these years and I never want to be here in the first place.
30:35
[SPEAKER_01]: And I came here after you because of you, that's a real thing.
30:39
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's the thing that it's a valid argument piece to have.
30:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
30:45
[SPEAKER_01]: Some shit that ever goes down and you don't want to be in that position.
30:48
[SPEAKER_05]: That's true.
30:50
[SPEAKER_05]: Like if I told you right now, babe, I don't know if I want to live in New York anymore.
30:55
[SPEAKER_05]: I want to go live in like... Really?
30:58
[SPEAKER_05]: No.
30:59
[SPEAKER_05]: I know you would love that.
31:01
[SPEAKER_03]: Okay.
31:01
[SPEAKER_05]: If I said hello, you want to go, all right, let's go.
31:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's go right now.
31:04
[SPEAKER_05]: No, if I said something like, uh, I want to live somewhere.
31:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Give me a, give me a place.
31:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, where would you want to move that I might not want to move to?
31:16
[SPEAKER_05]: Upstate?
31:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Upstate New York?
31:17
[SPEAKER_05]: Like full time.
31:18
[SPEAKER_01]: full-time abstaining or I mean you want to move there.
31:23
[SPEAKER_01]: I know that's the you would not want to move there I mean not yet.
31:28
[SPEAKER_05]: I don't know.
31:28
[SPEAKER_05]: I don't know.
31:29
[SPEAKER_05]: We're just so in tune with what we want.
31:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes not all the time.
31:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
31:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't get a twist.
31:34
[SPEAKER_05]: Relax now.
31:36
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
31:36
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
31:36
[SPEAKER_05]: Next submission.
31:37
[SPEAKER_05]: Somebody said they are missing an X even though they know it's not the right relationship.
31:46
[SPEAKER_01]: You just go have to deal with it.
31:47
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not the right relationship, nothing else to talk about.
31:50
[SPEAKER_05]: If it's not the right relationship, just focus on the reasons why it's not the right relationship.
31:57
[SPEAKER_05]: And I think anytime you're missing, your ex just thing about those.
32:01
[SPEAKER_01]: But what are you missing?
32:03
[SPEAKER_01]: If it's not the right relationship, what are you missing?
32:05
[SPEAKER_05]: I mean, you know, people are complex.
32:10
[SPEAKER_05]: They could miss, maybe their ex was like really talented and
32:15
[SPEAKER_05]: Maybe they were really beautiful, but sounded in bed.
32:19
[SPEAKER_01]: So that would be something I mean, I feel like sometimes that is the thing that people miss even though it's not the right relationship.
32:27
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
32:27
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
32:28
[SPEAKER_01]: It could be like... Also to like, okay, but that's cool, but it's not the right relationship.
32:33
[SPEAKER_05]: I know, but what if it's not the right relationship, but it's not like a dramatic reason.
32:39
[SPEAKER_05]: Maybe it's not a dramatic reason that the relationship is not good like when someone says it's not the right relationship I'm always so curious like why what is it?
32:50
[SPEAKER_05]: What about it?
32:52
[SPEAKER_05]: Because just think about that think about why it's not the right relationship.
32:55
[SPEAKER_05]: That should be enough for you to just be like bye
32:58
[SPEAKER_05]: But sometimes there are certain exes that kind of stick with you, you know.
33:04
[SPEAKER_01]: It depends on the type of person you are, but for me, the moment I realized that something is now right for me, no matter what it is, it could be a relationship, it could be a friendship, if it's not right for me.
33:15
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm out.
33:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
33:18
[SPEAKER_01]: I hate wasting time on things like that.
33:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Especially that it's like a relationship or usually a relationship it involves more than one person, right?
33:27
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's like, if you're not for me, if this is not working out, we don't have to do this.
33:33
[SPEAKER_05]: But also, some people, I feel like say it's not the right relationship, but then they're just maybe making it more complicated than it needs to be.
33:42
[SPEAKER_01]: What if they're the problem?
33:45
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay, next person said dating an emotionally available separated man that is not yet divorced.
33:56
[SPEAKER_01]: but he's emotionally available.
33:58
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, but so this person is basically dating a man who is married, but is separated right now on it's on their way to getting the voice because usually people get separated and then they get divorced.
34:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Are they getting divorced because of you?
34:13
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, damn.
34:15
[SPEAKER_01]: Probably not.
34:15
[SPEAKER_01]: I hope not.
34:16
[SPEAKER_05]: I feel like probably not.
34:18
[SPEAKER_01]: And also, so you're asking if that's- I think this is just their dilemma.
34:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
34:22
[SPEAKER_05]: Like what their status, like what they're up to.
34:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
34:25
[SPEAKER_05]: I would say- Interesting status.
34:28
[SPEAKER_01]: I would say everything wrong.
34:30
[SPEAKER_05]: I don't know, the fact that they're not divorced yet and they're only separated.
34:34
[SPEAKER_05]: It kind of gives a room for the love between, I mean, obviously we don't have the details of like, is this a really bad divorce?
34:41
[SPEAKER_05]: I feel like people are married and that they get divorced is just crazy.
34:45
[SPEAKER_05]: People are married and then they get separated because they need to space to figure it out.
34:51
[SPEAKER_05]: And they might get divorced, but they might stay together.
34:54
[SPEAKER_01]: I thought the divorce was already in the works.
34:57
[SPEAKER_05]: No.
34:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Because that's why you know it's for the over.
35:00
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, so they didn't, they said not yet divorced separated.
35:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
35:05
[SPEAKER_05]: If somebody is separated to me, that's not a done deal yet in my opinion.
35:11
[SPEAKER_05]: But they said it's a very, he's very emotionally available separated man.
35:16
[SPEAKER_01]: So he kind of moved on.
35:17
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
35:17
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like being separated, what does that exactly mean?
35:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, what can you, we can't you do, do you have kids together?
35:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, are you guys just like, co-parenting, but you're seeing someone now?
35:28
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
35:29
[SPEAKER_05]: I think the reason that they said it's this person emotionally available is like they don't.
35:33
[SPEAKER_05]: They're not attached to the person that they're technically still married to.
35:38
[SPEAKER_05]: They're very much emotionally open to being in a relationship.
35:42
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't see a problem.
35:42
[SPEAKER_05]: I know, but I'm just like, I would still be cautious because you see this happening in the movies all the time.
35:47
[SPEAKER_05]: People are quote unquote separated.
35:50
[SPEAKER_05]: And then I don't know where they fall back and love with their ex or their, you know, separated spouse and then they decide to not get divorced.
35:57
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, because emotionally available, which means that that man is completely moving on.
36:03
[SPEAKER_05]: I know, but, but it could also just be that he's having good time.
36:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, right.
36:11
[SPEAKER_05]: I hope I hope it works out for you, though.
36:14
[SPEAKER_05]: as in this person I hope it ends up being that this person that the man gets the voice so you guys can be together without any other strings attached you know.
36:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, ideally, that would be the case.
36:27
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, but I don't know, situations like this is tricky.
36:31
[SPEAKER_05]: You don't know what type of games people play.
36:32
[SPEAKER_05]: Like these days, people have open marriages and all this stuff, you don't know.
36:37
[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes it's just like, you gotta be careful on.
36:39
[SPEAKER_05]: You get separated to have some fun and they realize, oh, we belong together and then they don't get divorced, like, you don't know.
36:44
[SPEAKER_01]: I ain't no, right?
36:46
[SPEAKER_01]: And now you're hard-broken.
36:47
[SPEAKER_05]: Exactly.
36:47
[SPEAKER_05]: All right.
36:49
[SPEAKER_05]: Next submission somebody said learning how to do long distance with my partner because we're both doing higher education right now.
36:59
[SPEAKER_01]: Did their relationship start in the same spot?
37:02
[SPEAKER_05]: I think so it says learning how to do long distance.
37:05
[SPEAKER_01]: So you guys move the way and now you go to school.
37:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Keep in the going, which is great for you guys.
37:11
[SPEAKER_01]: But as I've said before, you know, they in this podcast, I don't know.
37:14
[SPEAKER_01]: I think you might have been a season one.
37:17
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't recommend long distance relationships.
37:20
[SPEAKER_05]: But if people love each other and they're together, and they should just, should they just break up because they're, they're going to school together.
37:28
[SPEAKER_05]: Masters are PhD or whatever.
37:31
[SPEAKER_05]: Especially because at that age you're older so you're like in your mid 20s maybe after you've graduated like regular college and then you're go let's say despite these people are doing their masters I'm assuming I don't know so and that's only for like one or two years I just wonder yeah I mean learning how to do long distance long distances hard but it could also be fun a lot of
37:57
[SPEAKER_01]: It could be.
37:58
[SPEAKER_05]: It could be cool.
37:59
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, you're like getting to explore and be like an individual and stuff like that.
38:04
[SPEAKER_05]: While also knowing that you have your person whenever you see each other's so special and so fun.
38:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, visit each other.
38:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Depends on how far the relationship is, right?
38:14
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
38:15
[SPEAKER_01]: If I'm in America and then you go to school in Japan, that's going to be very hard.
38:20
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
38:21
[SPEAKER_01]: That I always recommend trying to stay together.
38:24
[SPEAKER_01]: The only reason why I say I don't recommend because I went to something I tried to do long distance.
38:29
[SPEAKER_01]: It was it was just stupid.
38:30
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, but you started long distance Yeah, the relationship started long distance And then it ended long distance and it was it was just Yeah, waste of time all right Next question next submission somebody said saying yes to a guy that's been there for me when I'm sure I need to have so little time first
38:51
[SPEAKER_01]: saying yes to a guy.
38:52
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay, so basically this person is saying that
38:56
[SPEAKER_05]: their dilemma is that they want to say yes to a guy.
38:59
[SPEAKER_05]: I assume to like be in a relationship.
39:03
[SPEAKER_05]: And this guy has been there for her, I assume.
39:06
[SPEAKER_05]: But this girl is also sure that she needs solo time first.
39:13
[SPEAKER_05]: Like she needs to be on her own.
39:15
[SPEAKER_05]: Before she says yes to being with this guy, even though this guy seems to have been there for her.
39:22
[SPEAKER_05]: So it would be like a good
39:24
[SPEAKER_05]: relationship from what I'm understanding, but she's adamant that she needs to be single right now.
39:31
[SPEAKER_01]: If you honestly feel like you need to be single, then you need to be single.
39:35
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know how long someone's been there for you.
39:39
[SPEAKER_05]: I don't know why I was wondering, like, I want to hear more about why some people feel this deep need to be single.
39:47
[SPEAKER_05]: Like what
39:53
[SPEAKER_05]: feel like you're giving up by being in a relationship, that you think you can only achieve and only do and only have space for when you're single.
40:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I mean, there's a lot of things.
40:05
[SPEAKER_01]: A lot of things.
40:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Like you can deny the fact that when you're in a relationship there's a lot of things that you may realize or you may not realize that you compromise on daily.
40:17
[SPEAKER_06]: Okay.
40:18
[SPEAKER_01]: When you're single, this is no compromising.
40:21
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to go to the West Village.
40:23
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to do that until six o'clock.
40:25
[SPEAKER_01]: And then after that, I'm going to go play basketball or play whatever or do whatever until 10 o'clock.
40:31
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I come home at midnight or 1 a.m.
40:34
[SPEAKER_06]: Okay.
40:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Nobody's going to tell you, they all behave like what you've been.
40:37
[SPEAKER_01]: So late, like that's a big part.
40:40
[SPEAKER_05]: Sounds like you're speaking from.
40:42
[SPEAKER_01]: No, no, but if you're saying, you know, they ship you, you kind of, and that's not a bad thing.
40:47
[SPEAKER_05]: That's just what you need.
40:49
[SPEAKER_05]: Like to me, that's not worth not being in a relationship with a guy who clearly is interested in me and has been there for me.
40:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
41:00
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm just, I'm more, I'm not necessarily asking you, I'm more, I had a recent conversation with somebody that was saying they're not wanting to be in a relationship right now, and they really want to be single.
41:12
[SPEAKER_05]: For like a while.
41:13
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm not about to say right now, this is silly.
41:16
[SPEAKER_05]: And I'm always like my next question, but I don't want to like pressure anybody, you know, to like the, you know, asking of so many questions, but I'm always curious what is the reasoning behind, you know, wanting, especially if there is a guy or like a prospect of person in your life that has been there for you, that is caring, that you're considering, like, would be a good partner, they are presently there.
41:47
[SPEAKER_05]: but you are very sure that you need to be single right now.
41:50
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, why?
41:51
[SPEAKER_05]: Look at it, I'm just so curious.
41:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Anytime you say prospect, it makes me laugh because I think about some sports shit.
41:59
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, no, because usually it's prospect anytime I use data, it's like a new team members about to join a team, so anytime you say a prospect, I'm like, damn, how many people we talking about?
42:11
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay, next submission.
42:13
[SPEAKER_05]: Somebody said, the right person loves me, but I keep falling in love with the wrong ones instead of him.
42:21
[SPEAKER_05]: The right person loves me, but I keep falling in love with the wrong ones instead of him.
42:29
[SPEAKER_05]: I mean,
42:31
[SPEAKER_05]: This is actually kind of a common thing, especially when it comes to, I think from women's perspectives, like there's a common theme we all know, and it's that girl's love fuckboys.
42:48
[SPEAKER_05]: There's a reason why fuck boys even exist because they successfully like Spell us in, you know, they like use their spell to just kind of like work their magic and get you feeling excited to get the butterflies and like all that stuff and you're gonna say he's gonna be different and blah blah blah.
43:08
[SPEAKER_01]: He's gonna treat me different.
43:10
[SPEAKER_05]: and he turns out to be the wrong guy, but what is it that keeps us going back?
43:16
[SPEAKER_05]: Us, I'm not speaking personally, but you know what I mean?
43:19
[SPEAKER_05]: What keeps us ladies going back for those those wrong guys?
43:26
[SPEAKER_05]: And when there's a right one that comes along and wants to be with you, something about it, it's because I think we used like some toxicities and stuff.
43:36
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, first of all, I think it depends on the kind of woman you're talking about, because there's some women are like, they're not with any of this games.
43:46
[SPEAKER_01]: It's very immature.
43:47
[SPEAKER_01]: The whole fog boy thing is if you like,
43:50
[SPEAKER_01]: That means you're, you're probably a little bit younger, because you're not always, well, I don't know, I'm not a woman, I don't know, but I think what she said is valid and I know that's a real thing.
44:02
[SPEAKER_01]: But I also think that there's a lot of women who don't like any of that stuff, like be a normal decent human being.
44:08
[SPEAKER_05]: Sometimes you don't know that they're the wrong ones until later.
44:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I know, but you said, what make, what is it about them that keeps us going back?
44:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, if you know that they're not good.
44:22
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, I mean, he's going back to that type of person Okay, like you might not know that they are, you know, not a good person at first Well, you can only find out when you find out that's true.
44:36
[SPEAKER_05]: That's true, but they all have this like similar thing I don't know because
44:44
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, this whole thing is like complicated because you don't really know until you know but then how do you know that the right person loves me So this person has someone in their life That already loves them But something is keeping this person away from being with that guy Maybe she's not ready for relationship, maybe she's still lost to be like no I think I think there's this thing where like if a guy likes you too much it like gives you the it
45:13
[SPEAKER_05]: If a guy likes you too much like a dick at the beginning if the if a guy is like too eager and it's too nice and it's too I don't know how to explain it like they need to the guy needs to have a little spice You still have a little like hmm like I don't know what you're about to do right now You know, you can't be predictable.
45:32
[SPEAKER_01]: What did I have here like boring?
45:33
[SPEAKER_01]: What did I have in the beginning?
45:36
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, you always say, let me wanting more, you know?
45:40
[SPEAKER_05]: Like I was, we're like playing out hard to get, but you were, you just, you always kept me feeling like, I, you'd were treating me, this was, it goes back to the beginning.
45:58
[SPEAKER_05]: You were treating me like I was your girlfriend, but you never gave me the girlfriend title.
46:06
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's something that's very important to some people.
46:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, unless it's verbally communicated that way, you kind of like, in a gray area, which is not a gray area, but the gray area is like, it's like, it has a role.
46:21
[SPEAKER_05]: Because it keeps the magnetism.
46:24
[SPEAKER_01]: I think gray area is very important to have in the beginning of when you start to date someone.
46:29
[SPEAKER_01]: But something is very clear from the beginning.
46:31
[SPEAKER_01]: It's almost like, you took away all the fun.
46:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah.
46:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Let me work a little bit, let me try to do some math, you know, let me go back home after the day it go back to the drawing board, you know what I do next time, but if you just tell me everything and you want me and blah blah just like okay cool now I guess that's it yeah like before we get to the I want you yeah that great areas it's it's such a it's a moment now relationship that I remember
46:59
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and also just to go back to what I didn't make you, I didn't do any of those things in like on purpose to be that person.
47:10
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, you just like, I was slow.
47:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I didn't just take a slow and then value was so ready to be like, after two weeks should be like, okay, so what are we?
47:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Can we, can we?
47:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I just really like to get to know someone.
47:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Even though things are great, don't jump into the title.
47:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Hang out, let's just be friends for a little bit.
47:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's just hang out for a year.
47:34
[SPEAKER_06]: Oh, you're crazy.
47:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's just hang out for a year.
47:37
[SPEAKER_01]: No.
47:38
[SPEAKER_01]: But the problem was, you don't know what else I'm doing.
47:41
[SPEAKER_05]: Well, not necessarily that.
47:43
[SPEAKER_05]: I just didn't like the fact that you were just acting, like you really, really liked to be.
47:52
[SPEAKER_01]: But I was acting like I was really, like I really liked you.
47:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
47:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
47:58
[SPEAKER_05]: But then you, you would then just, when it comes to actually talking about, you know, what are we doing here?
48:07
[SPEAKER_05]: You were so nonchalant about it.
48:10
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, yeah, you have to stay in that gray area for a little bit.
48:14
[SPEAKER_01]: He makes a fun.
48:15
[SPEAKER_05]: It's true, but it's really annoying to me in my career, but I think it was straight up from the beginning.
48:23
[SPEAKER_05]: I don't know, it's hard to say, but the great area has a role.
48:26
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't.
48:27
[SPEAKER_05]: The great area has an important role.
48:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, and some people drag it too long, which I don't recommend.
48:33
[SPEAKER_05]: And they're kind of, they make it like, um, not, not abusive.
48:37
[SPEAKER_05]: That's a very intense word.
48:38
[SPEAKER_05]: But they kind of like, use that to, to control the person a little bit.
48:43
[SPEAKER_01]: No, but I was a controlling.
48:45
[SPEAKER_05]: No, no, I'm not saying some people can use it that way.
48:47
[SPEAKER_01]: To, to us, it was a very healthy balance.
48:52
[SPEAKER_05]: Very healthy game.
48:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it was like a good gray area.
48:56
[SPEAKER_01]: But, yeah, so what was the thing?
48:58
[SPEAKER_05]: No, that was it.
49:00
[SPEAKER_01]: No, just remind me again.
49:02
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, it's just about like choosing the right person that loves her instead of the wrong people.
49:06
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh.
49:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
49:07
[SPEAKER_05]: Sometimes if somebody loves you too much or if they're too already ready to do everything, and there's no.
49:13
[SPEAKER_01]: That happens to me too.
49:15
[SPEAKER_01]: Some time I remember in the past there was a girl who was just showing me that I want to be with you.
49:25
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
49:26
[SPEAKER_01]: And something about it, I don't know what it is, it's, I don't wanna say it turn off.
49:32
[SPEAKER_05]: A little bit.
49:32
[SPEAKER_01]: But like, I wanna wonder a little bit.
49:35
[SPEAKER_01]: I wanna think about what do I gotta do next?
49:38
[SPEAKER_01]: I get it.
49:39
[SPEAKER_01]: Because that's part of the, I wanna make sure that I, not like deserve it.
49:47
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, it sounds amazing to me to say, and deserve it.
49:48
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, you worked for it a little bit.
49:50
[SPEAKER_01]: It sounded great example, but I feel like everybody knows what I'm doing.
49:53
[SPEAKER_05]: I think we got it.
49:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, okay, we got it.
49:55
[SPEAKER_05]: The next mission, so they said, giving up a good job offer for a boyfriend.
50:02
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, it would require me moving to another country.
50:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, hell, no.
50:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Hell, no.
50:08
[SPEAKER_05]: Hell, no, to which one.
50:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Hell, no, to which one.
50:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Like the job.
50:11
[SPEAKER_01]: For the boyfriend.
50:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Go get that job, go secure the bag, go get that money, and you will find someone else.
50:20
[SPEAKER_05]: Or if that boyfriend was you and me.
50:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, but listen to this, right?
50:23
[SPEAKER_01]: You moved to Germany from America for the boyfriend, right?
50:26
[SPEAKER_05]: No, it's the other way around.
50:28
[SPEAKER_05]: They would move for the job.
50:29
[SPEAKER_01]: They would move for the job.
50:31
[SPEAKER_05]: And the boyfriend is where they're at right now.
50:33
[SPEAKER_05]: Like we live in Seattle together.
50:35
[SPEAKER_05]: We're boyfriend and girlfriend.
50:37
[SPEAKER_05]: And I for some reason get a really good job like in another country.
50:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
50:43
[SPEAKER_05]: So do I choose to stay with you who I love very much or do I move to this other country?
50:49
[SPEAKER_05]: Move it together.
50:50
[SPEAKER_05]: I mean, yeah, but real.
50:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Like right now, if that happens to us right now, we're moving.
50:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I mean, we're, yeah, and we would have done that even if it was like a year or two probably exactly like if you get a crazy job and I don't know in, in, in, I don't know somewhere, right, in Portugal or a Lisbon somewhere, yeah, Lisbon isn't going to, with move or saying for me, if I get a crazy job in Vegas, we're moving to Vegas.
51:21
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean we just gonna make a work because we're yeah, I mean, what are you gonna do just to separate You live here and I'll live there and that's it.
51:29
[SPEAKER_01]: No mode WTJ podcast no more.
51:32
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay, now we're talking about something else But I think I think yeah, like I have more I have more questions when I come to this like what what?
51:42
[SPEAKER_01]: What's the status of the relationship?
51:43
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, like how long have you been together, what, like do you really like this boyfriend or kind of like me, you know?
51:50
[SPEAKER_01]: If it's kind of like a mat situation, I would say move and enjoy enjoy your life.
51:55
[SPEAKER_01]: But if it's something that you, you guys are, I mean, why can he come with you?
51:59
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I'll figure out a way to come with you.
52:01
[SPEAKER_05]: I wonder if that's even a conversation, or if it's an automatic, you even...
52:04
[SPEAKER_01]: But maybe he has a good job here.
52:06
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, maybe.
52:07
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, then I'll also not fear for him, like, okay, just because you got a job, but then you don't want to make someone feel bad for staying with you and... Yeah.
52:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Ooh!
52:15
[SPEAKER_05]: We need more, we need more info.
52:16
[SPEAKER_01]: Thanks for the submission, that was a good one.
52:18
[SPEAKER_05]: Somebody said, I love my partner, but at the same time, I don't want to spend my life with one person.
52:25
[SPEAKER_05]: And he's my first boyfriend.
52:29
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
52:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, there's a few things to to untack here.
52:33
[SPEAKER_01]: First boyfriend and you feel like you're already kind of locked in.
52:39
[SPEAKER_05]: Right.
52:40
[SPEAKER_01]: That means what does that take off the table?
52:42
[SPEAKER_01]: You haven't, you didn't have your phone quote unquote.
52:45
[SPEAKER_05]: You didn't have more experiences with other boyfriends.
52:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
52:50
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, are we talking about experiences just for the sake of having experiences?
52:53
[SPEAKER_01]: Because what if your first one is the one?
52:56
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, but I'm also like, is this your first ever boyfriend or is your first ever like any sort of situation relationship?
53:05
[SPEAKER_05]: Because there are two different things.
53:07
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, you know what I mean, it's like you could have had various situations situations with different people let's say and when I say situations ships is like you've been on multiple dates, maybe you've even like slept together different things like that, but you were never like in a relationship boyfriend and girlfriend, I still count those as experiences.
53:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Everybody can't stole that as experience.
53:34
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
53:38
[SPEAKER_05]: So I'm just wondering, as you said, yeah, like, is this dilemma based on the fact that you're like, he's my first boyfriend.
53:45
[SPEAKER_05]: I don't know what else is there.
53:47
[SPEAKER_05]: Do I want to be in another relationship?
53:48
[SPEAKER_01]: You never want to get into a, sorry.
53:50
[SPEAKER_05]: Go ahead.
53:51
[SPEAKER_01]: You never want to get into a relationship and you feel like you are, you're still wandering about other,
53:59
[SPEAKER_05]: possibilities.
54:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Possibilities, but you really love that person.
54:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Everything is great about them, but that creepy, like, just thought that that causes your mind like them, but I haven't really, I wonder what part of like another experience they want?
54:13
[SPEAKER_01]: No, no, I don't know.
54:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, let's say, I haven't been with someone from this culture.
54:18
[SPEAKER_01]: I haven't been with someone from that cold.
54:20
[SPEAKER_05]: But see, anytime we're talking about that, I'm just thinking people are trying to like,
54:27
[SPEAKER_05]: Which I think is a totally normal and natural like desire to want experience.
54:33
[SPEAKER_01]: But what if they didn't experience that and they already locked in into a relationship and...
54:37
[SPEAKER_05]: I mean, there is kind of a solution.
54:40
[SPEAKER_01]: What's the solution?
54:41
[SPEAKER_05]: I mean, just talk to your person.
54:43
[SPEAKER_01]: How to try to convince your partner to like, go take a trip?
54:48
[SPEAKER_06]: A trip?
54:49
[SPEAKER_01]: go take a trip to that culture and just see what happened.
54:53
[SPEAKER_06]: My hair babe would say would you like to take a trip to that culture crazy?
54:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, like to that country, like hey babe, like would you want to go to like Colombia one day?
55:04
[SPEAKER_01]: This was around.
55:05
[SPEAKER_01]: This is go dance or something and then just check out the vibes.
55:10
[SPEAKER_05]: Well, I'm just saying I just think it's really interesting like whenever I just wonder if most people that got in a relationship relatively early or maybe they just haven't had that many relationships and the person that they're with now.
55:26
[SPEAKER_05]: They love very much, but they feel like they don't didn't have enough experiences.
55:31
[SPEAKER_05]: They didn't have a lot of relationships before this one.
55:34
[SPEAKER_03]: Okay.
55:35
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
55:36
[SPEAKER_05]: What is it about the experiences that they wish that they got to experience?
55:43
[SPEAKER_05]: And I'm like, you're just too much.
55:45
[SPEAKER_05]: But I'm wondering, is it, it's not, is it ever like a relationship based thing?
55:50
[SPEAKER_05]: Or is it just a sexual thing?
55:52
[SPEAKER_05]: Is my point?
55:53
[SPEAKER_01]: I think maybe maybe something sexual that just they just want to experience like, you know, a man or woman from like an exotic country.
56:02
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
56:02
[SPEAKER_05]: Why you always think it's like, and it has to be like an exotic place.
56:06
[SPEAKER_01]: Because that's usually what people just like them.
56:08
[SPEAKER_01]: You'll be so crazy to go there.
56:10
[SPEAKER_05]: Well, like, what it does have to be there, like it could be that you're still in the same country.
56:14
[SPEAKER_05]: It's just a different person.
56:16
[SPEAKER_05]: So I can understand that.
56:19
[SPEAKER_05]: But I do wonder if people ever think about it from a relationship perspective.
56:23
[SPEAKER_05]: They're like, I wonder what it would just be like to be in a relationship with a totally different person.
56:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, that kind of...
56:31
[SPEAKER_05]: If the relationship you're in is like good and this person said, I love my partner.
56:37
[SPEAKER_05]: right but he's my first boyfriend.
56:39
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm like if you love that partner and if the relationship is good and there's nothing like if there's nothing you're missing if the relationship is exactly what you want it to be.
56:51
[SPEAKER_05]: Then the only thing that you're really thinking about when it comes to them being your first boyfriend is the fact that you didn't get to really experience sexually with other types of people.
56:59
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that's exactly what we talk about.
57:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
57:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Like we are talking about just sexual fantasies with just some other type of people that you never had a chance to eat in your life.
57:09
[SPEAKER_01]: And it is what it is.
57:10
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, like I said, there is one solution.
57:13
[SPEAKER_05]: No, stop saying that.
57:15
[SPEAKER_05]: And then the other part of this mission was that they don't want to spend their life with one person.
57:21
[SPEAKER_05]: So I think, but I think they feel this way also because I think this person hasn't hasn't been with other people.
57:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, I mean, I kind of, it's, it's a, this is the exact example that I was talking about.
57:37
[SPEAKER_01]: This person is still very much curious about, it's other people.
57:41
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, not people from, I don't know, Columbia or whatever, you know, I think this is something you could probably like, I don't know, talk about it a little bit.
57:51
[SPEAKER_05]: It's definitely not a comfortable conversation to have, but what are you talking about?
57:59
[SPEAKER_01]: I know, but it's so taboo, you know, it's like...
58:02
[SPEAKER_05]: I know, but this person knows that he's your first boyfriend.
58:06
[SPEAKER_01]: And also, too, like, are we supposed to be with just one person forever?
58:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, who decided that?
58:12
[SPEAKER_05]: I mean, I don't know, nobody, we decided that.
58:14
[SPEAKER_01]: We decided that, right?
58:15
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
58:16
[SPEAKER_05]: But we also make our own rules, though.
58:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, making our rules, do what you want, but make sure you communicate with your partner about your feelings, you know, if you have some type of fantasy, just have a conversation, you know, get some tea and talk about it.
58:31
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay, we have more.
58:33
[SPEAKER_01]: It's very important to be open about these things, but I'm kind of also halfway joking.
58:36
[SPEAKER_01]: So, I have four more.
58:40
[SPEAKER_05]: There.
58:41
[SPEAKER_05]: So let's do some rapid fire.
58:43
[SPEAKER_05]: This person said their dilemma is that the entire friend group got engaged in the same month and other feelings stressed.
58:49
[SPEAKER_05]: So because they want to get engaged to well, yeah, they're feeling stressed because they're like, where am I shit at my my question is I wonder how big this friend group is it's like four friends and like everybody got engaged just for you.
59:01
[SPEAKER_05]: That's kind of crazy and in one month
59:04
[SPEAKER_01]: like our day friends with each other did they coordinate these engagements and I don't think first of all I don't think it's crazy because things just happen you know you have to you can't don't stress about it because like familiar right all of my friend groups all your friends all my friends I'm the only one well a lot of my friends have kids already yeah I don't feel
59:29
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't feel like, well, it does cost my mind some sounds like they'm on the last one.
59:35
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
59:36
[SPEAKER_01]: That's normal.
59:37
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
59:38
[SPEAKER_05]: But I think the kids thing is a little bit different than like getting engaged to be married, because the kids thing is more like a
59:48
[SPEAKER_05]: It will come eventually.
59:50
[SPEAKER_01]: There's a more common that people are married or that people have kids first.
59:54
[SPEAKER_01]: In my friend groups, a lot of my friends had kids first.
59:58
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like one of the only ones who's like married.
1:00:02
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh yeah.
1:00:04
[SPEAKER_05]: I don't know.
1:00:04
[SPEAKER_01]: But to some other people is like the marriage come first and then kid.
1:00:09
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I mean, that's like the traditional way, but I think these days people are becoming more and more non-traditional.
1:00:16
[SPEAKER_05]: I think this person, like, well, I'm also wondering, like, are you single or are you in a relationship?
1:00:22
[SPEAKER_05]: I think they're probably single, I'm assuming.
1:00:26
[SPEAKER_05]: But don't be filestress.
1:00:28
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
1:00:28
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, let them get engaged, whatever you also, like, why do you want to be engaged at the same time as everybody else?
1:00:33
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, it's not even about the same time.
1:00:36
[SPEAKER_01]: Just have fun, live your life, make your money, work, meet people, like, I feel like we just stress a lot about these things.
1:00:44
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I don't know how old you are, but if you listen into this, take your time.
1:00:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's say everything works out.
1:00:51
[SPEAKER_01]: You're gonna be with someone one day.
1:00:53
[SPEAKER_01]: You're gonna get married one day.
1:00:54
[SPEAKER_01]: You're gonna have kids one day if you want everything works out.
1:00:57
[SPEAKER_01]: So your friend groups don't let that shit, like stress you out.
1:01:04
[SPEAKER_01]: If anything, think in your head, like, I'm free to do, not that you're not free if you're engaged, but like, try to find the positives that you have, I mean, I don't think I'm being engaged or married as a negative thing, so.
1:01:17
[SPEAKER_01]: No, it's not negative at all.
1:01:19
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know, I was just sure I found like a solution.
1:01:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's like those dress.
1:01:22
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, honestly.
1:01:24
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay, next person said, time line for settling down with my partner.
1:01:29
[SPEAKER_05]: I am ready, but he is not.
1:01:30
[SPEAKER_05]: We have been together for six years.
1:01:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Settling down, just talk about it.
1:01:35
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, what is settling down?
1:01:36
[SPEAKER_05]: Settling down means... Because both Yoni and I are, I mean, we're together.
1:01:41
[SPEAKER_05]: Obviously, we're married.
1:01:42
[SPEAKER_05]: We've been together for seven years total.
1:01:44
[SPEAKER_01]: That's correct.
1:01:45
[SPEAKER_05]: Would you say we're settled down?
1:01:48
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't I don't think we're settled down I don't feel like we're settled down settle down to me Means by a house of a kid by a house have a kid and 30 years is gonna be right here.
1:02:02
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, like that's how you when you're He's buying this house And then having this child is very much like we're gonna be in this house for 30 the settling down always means purchasing a home I don't know why I always assume yeah
1:02:16
[SPEAKER_01]: Can you be settled down without having a house?
1:02:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Like we're renting, but we're settled down.
1:02:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, that's very much possible.
1:02:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Because also not everybody can buy a house, like we think everybody can buy a house.
1:02:28
[SPEAKER_05]: That's true, I guess.
1:02:30
[SPEAKER_05]: Certainly down it's either you're buying a house or you're having a baby.
1:02:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, exactly.
1:02:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Like most people rent, like not everybody has the luxury to a bought house.
1:02:40
[SPEAKER_05]: What about being married?
1:02:42
[SPEAKER_01]: being married is definitely a settle down.
1:02:45
[SPEAKER_01]: So I think we have that part.
1:02:46
[SPEAKER_05]: So settling down has like three components.
1:02:49
[SPEAKER_05]: Getting married, buying a house, having a kid.
1:02:54
[SPEAKER_05]: One of those, like either of those, or a combination of those is part of settling down.
1:03:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, if you have all two of those, you really settle down.
1:03:03
[SPEAKER_01]: I couldn't go nowhere.
1:03:04
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.
1:03:05
[SPEAKER_06]: that's funny.
1:03:06
[SPEAKER_05]: Well, I would say I'm not sure like which out of these three this person specifically thinking about because maybe some parts of settling down mean more to others.
1:03:17
[SPEAKER_05]: I would say if you are talking about getting married and having been together for six years and the other part is that the partner feels like he is not ready.
1:03:30
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm always asking the same question.
1:03:32
[SPEAKER_05]: What about settling down?
1:03:35
[SPEAKER_05]: Once you establish what settling down means, what about it is the partner not ready for?
1:03:40
[SPEAKER_05]: Or answer that question for me.
1:03:43
[SPEAKER_01]: What is that like a therapist?
1:03:45
[SPEAKER_01]: No, like think about it.
1:03:47
[SPEAKER_05]: I just because I think some people are thinking about that.
1:03:49
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm sorry, go ahead.
1:03:51
[SPEAKER_05]: I just feel like some people use that as an easy geto get out of jail free card of just being like, I'm not ready to settle down.
1:03:59
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm not ready for this.
1:04:00
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm not ready.
1:04:01
[SPEAKER_05]: What does that mean though?
1:04:02
[SPEAKER_01]: If you really love this person and you know, are they married or not?
1:04:06
[SPEAKER_05]: No, that's what I'm saying.
1:04:07
[SPEAKER_01]: I think they're talking about marriage.
1:04:13
[SPEAKER_05]: a lot of people think say that and they're talking about financials.
1:04:17
[SPEAKER_05]: But I'm like okay but I think one thing I understand financially not being ready to buy a house obviously or to have a child understandable but to get married is like you don't need money for that.
1:04:32
[SPEAKER_05]: go through a gore house on that shoot yeah just get a marriage license yeah i mean everyone is different but i think like you really need to talk about talk this through sometimes you go don't even realize that there are questions they can ask but what or what or is it you feel like it's usually a band who are not ready
1:04:47
[SPEAKER_05]: oftentimes, yeah, but I also think maybe you need to be clear about once the man, once the partner, the guy tells you what their reasoning is for not feeling ready, maybe he can clarify that's not even an issue.
1:05:01
[SPEAKER_05]: Because maybe they're saying, I don't feel ready to like get married and their reasoning is because they think that you got to drop 100k on a wedding.
1:05:09
[SPEAKER_05]: So is that the expectation?
1:05:14
[SPEAKER_01]: But what if it's not like we should call this episode talk about but what if it's not financial I don't know because usually when one person is is ready to move on and settle down It means that they envisioned them being okay like nobody would if you know that were financially not ready like how can someone
1:05:39
[SPEAKER_01]: think that they're ready to settle down.
1:05:41
[SPEAKER_01]: Obviously it's a thing if you guys are together.
1:05:44
[SPEAKER_01]: You guys talk about financials, right?
1:05:47
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, that's the next question.
1:05:49
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, because they're not even married, they're not.
1:05:51
[SPEAKER_05]: I mean, it doesn't seem that way, so yeah.
1:05:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, if you guys are heading towards any type of settled downness like that, I think a big thing that you guys should talk about is money.
1:06:04
[SPEAKER_01]: Financials, is it transparent?
1:06:06
[SPEAKER_01]: Are you, is your bank account just like your little secret?
1:06:10
[SPEAKER_01]: And then their bank account, their little secret, but then somehow you guys live in life together, I think it's very important to be transparent.
1:06:16
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
1:06:17
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, because I know people who even bent together for years and they have no idea what are the person's financial statuses.
1:06:28
[SPEAKER_01]: They just not, we live together.
1:06:29
[SPEAKER_01]: We love each other.
1:06:30
[SPEAKER_01]: But he's like, there's always like that little question, like, or secret, like how much or, you know, I feel like it's good to be transparent.
1:06:40
[SPEAKER_01]: And the sooner you do it, the better, that's it.
1:06:44
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay, and last mission, somebody said, I am not able to express my interest in someone that I like and I push them away and then in parenthesis, they wrote Jim Crush.
1:07:03
[SPEAKER_05]: So this person has a Jim Crush and they are not able to express their interest to this person that they like and they ended up pushing them away.
1:07:11
[SPEAKER_05]: I mean, a gym crush?
1:07:13
[SPEAKER_05]: I feel like we kind of are hard to.
1:07:16
[SPEAKER_05]: Gym crushes are fun.
1:07:17
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like that one crush.
1:07:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's like the gym crush is that person that you see every time you go to the gym, and you just like, oh shit, there they are.
1:07:27
[SPEAKER_01]: But then you never talk to them.
1:07:29
[SPEAKER_05]: No, but you kind of make eye contact through the mirror sometimes.
1:07:32
[SPEAKER_01]: You know what I'm talking about?
1:07:33
[SPEAKER_01]: What happened to me?
1:07:34
[SPEAKER_01]: This girl should be in eye crushing me for like months, right?
1:07:41
[SPEAKER_01]: up and then one day she just I was doing some some exercises on the mat on like an open space.
1:07:48
[SPEAKER_01]: She takes a map and puts a right next to mine to start doing stretches.
1:07:54
[SPEAKER_01]: And it couldn't be more obvious because we've had eye contact before and the only reason why we made eye contact is because I'm trying to see if she's like She made me feel uncomfortable.
1:08:08
[SPEAKER_01]: There was it was one of those that was just it was too I'm gonna show you that I'm interested in you, but I will never say anything to you.
1:08:16
[SPEAKER_03]: Oh, she cute.
1:08:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Ah, the little bit, but I was just like, I'm, you know, I don't, this is why we're together y'all.
1:08:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but like my thing is I'm married and I have the person, I don't care who, I can still
1:08:33
[SPEAKER_01]: admire someone else's beauty.
1:08:35
[SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, of course.
1:08:36
[SPEAKER_01]: Cut.
1:08:36
[SPEAKER_01]: I like it or not.
1:08:37
[SPEAKER_01]: There's people out there who are beautiful and there's people out there who are maybe maybe like not as beautiful to you, right?
1:08:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Right?
1:08:47
[SPEAKER_05]: So maybe
1:08:49
[SPEAKER_01]: But I have my person and this time my brain just works like it kind of blocks out everybody else It like serious like inches twice.
1:08:56
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, so you can see someone and be like, oh, they're really nice like looking nicely built
1:09:04
[SPEAKER_01]: You almost said built.
1:09:05
[SPEAKER_06]: No, it's a nice looking.
1:09:08
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, okay I simply built is crazy So I can admire that and then just just move on like wow good for them.
1:09:16
[SPEAKER_01]: I hope they find somebody like you know I don't know That's what happened and she's working on next to me and I just kind of like finished up my thing There's different though like that's a gym Somebody's crushing on you and also I'm also just nice to people too
1:09:31
[SPEAKER_05]: You are nice to people.
1:09:32
[SPEAKER_01]: No, so just because I'm in a relationship and I'm married don't mean that I'm not gonna talk to anybody ever again.
1:09:37
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay, yeah, but there's a difference between being nice and being like too nice.
1:09:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, no, no, no, no, like I don't flirt with you.
1:09:44
[SPEAKER_05]: It's like you can be nice by like not looking, you know, unapproachable.
1:09:50
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm very approachable.
1:09:51
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
1:09:52
[SPEAKER_05]: But you can be like all really nice where you're randomly starting to talk to this person.
1:09:56
[SPEAKER_01]: No, like I don't want to fight people.
1:09:57
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't randomly start talking to other women and less us specifically have something to say.
1:10:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, wow, that jacket is five.
1:10:04
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I'll say some shit like that.
1:10:05
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, careful with that one.
1:10:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, really?
1:10:07
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I love to compliment women on their outfits.
1:10:10
[SPEAKER_01]: That's not true.
1:10:12
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, no, in like a, in like a... That's somebody going to hear this and be like, that's a red flag.
1:10:18
[SPEAKER_01]: That's not true.
1:10:19
[SPEAKER_05]: I mean, actually, you don't really do that.
1:10:22
[SPEAKER_01]: But when I say this, I say this in such like, it's very interesting.
1:10:28
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
1:10:28
[SPEAKER_01]: The other day, I saw three women taking like a self.
1:10:31
[SPEAKER_01]: He was like a rainy day.
1:10:33
[SPEAKER_01]: And the lighting was hitting them so hard.
1:10:35
[SPEAKER_01]: I just had to say something.
1:10:36
[SPEAKER_01]: I was just like, wow, that was a fire self.
1:10:39
[SPEAKER_01]: I said that and I just kept going and they were like, oh, thank you.
1:10:41
[SPEAKER_01]: That's it.
1:10:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I don't I don't say that to linger around to try to see somebody's going to say that and then you just stay there.
1:10:49
[SPEAKER_01]: No, I kept going and I didn't even and that's it.
1:10:52
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, sometimes it's just nice to say it.
1:10:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
1:10:55
[SPEAKER_01]: I just, I don't know.
1:10:57
[SPEAKER_01]: A compliment can make someone's day.
1:11:01
[SPEAKER_01]: No, it was your intention to feel against the wall and I guess the wall because I know there's like a lot of people listen to this and they're gonna be like Oh, well, you'd be careful.
1:11:10
[SPEAKER_01]: No, I'm not.
1:11:13
[SPEAKER_05]: No, he loved I mean he gets compliments to all people all he loves getting compliments to older ladies
1:11:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
1:11:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, that's probably like my favorite because they're so cute like if all the lady has like a nice outfit I would say some shit to her and she's like a nice coat exactly and who knows what that would do to them You know, I know I'm going home and I have my person and I'm good and also I'm lucky that you are nice Kiruba about that.
1:11:34
[SPEAKER_05]: No, and also sometimes like we're to get actually no when we're together You usually will say the compliment about somebody to me.
1:11:42
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, and then I would just be like oh shit
1:11:45
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'm aware of like I'm not I'm never did you ever feel this suspected by anything I've said because I'd be talking to strangers.
1:11:51
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, I'm just doing that.
1:11:53
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, see and I know where it was too far, right?
1:11:55
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm never gonna like if someone passes us, I'm never gonna break my neck, right?
1:12:00
[SPEAKER_01]: And then look at somebody else.
1:12:01
[SPEAKER_01]: That's disrespectful.
1:12:02
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
1:12:02
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't want to do that to a person.
1:12:03
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, what if if you did that, I would just break my neck too.
1:12:06
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, I actually like damn it.
1:12:08
[SPEAKER_05]: What's the look in that shit?
1:12:10
[SPEAKER_06]: All right.
1:12:11
[SPEAKER_01]: It's so funny.
1:12:12
[SPEAKER_01]: OK, I think that's it for this episode.
1:12:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much for all the submissions.
1:12:16
[SPEAKER_01]: I like these and I want to keep going.
1:12:18
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
1:12:18
[SPEAKER_01]: And every time we're going to ask you guys, if you guys want to keep going with these submissions, because I never want this to get tired, I'm never tired of these.
1:12:24
[SPEAKER_05]: I mean, the dilemma is good, but we're technically, we've technically gone through all of them.
1:12:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, have we?
1:12:31
[SPEAKER_05]: Well, because we'll check, we'll check, but we might have to do like another submission set of like instead of a dilemma I can be something else So we have to think of like a good one or we can just continue with more dilemmas because there's so many because each dilemma that someone sends us it's such a topic that we can talk about for an hour Sure.
1:12:47
[SPEAKER_01]: So you've been hearing the series and if you like it and if you have something in mind that you're like oh, I want to submit this because we all have shit happen us in our lives
1:12:57
[SPEAKER_05]: true.
1:12:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Send us shit through the DMs.
1:12:59
[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to read it just like this.
1:13:01
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, if you want to send to the DM, like we'll get to it.
1:13:04
[SPEAKER_05]: And then if there's enough for an episode, I mean, sometimes we really need one as we know.
1:13:08
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
1:13:09
[SPEAKER_01]: But the very top of your DM, so then we can see what it is.
1:13:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Just say dilemma.
1:13:14
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
1:13:14
[SPEAKER_01]: in capital letters and then write whatever you want, but not like not too long.
1:13:20
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, don't make it too long, but also actually, but still give us enough details for us to have the good context.
1:13:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, don't say least by marriage or stay.
1:13:29
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, and it's like okay, I need what happened.
1:13:31
[SPEAKER_05]: what's happening all right you guys we hope you enjoyed today's episode remember to check out the trailer for the drama from a 24 We're definitely gonna go watch it in theaters out April watch it third all right you guys See y'all see y'all next week see you guys on Sunday if you're on Patreon always remember to check it out.
1:13:55
[SPEAKER_05]: It's done description
1:13:56
[SPEAKER_01]: We have a fun episode coming up on Sunday on Patreon.
1:13:59
[SPEAKER_01]: So, coming out with us, you know, there's different chats, there's music chat.
1:14:03
[SPEAKER_01]: We talked about, oh, we haven't talked about the J-ConeW album.
1:14:06
[SPEAKER_05]: Hey, we haven't talked about Super Bowl.
1:14:08
[SPEAKER_01]: Hey, we gotta talk about the Super Bowl.
1:14:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my God.
1:14:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so there's chats going on talking about a bunch of random things that happen in pop culture, different foods, different photos you take on your walk.
1:14:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, it's a lot of fun up there, okay?
1:14:20
[SPEAKER_01]: You can sign up as a free member if you want, but we highly recommend there's two different tiers.
1:14:25
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
1:14:26
[SPEAKER_01]: They can sign up and then you can see all the perks you gave from each one.
1:14:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, man.
1:14:31
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's it, guys.
1:14:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Thanks for hanging out.
1:14:33
[SPEAKER_01]: This is now at 15.
1:14:35
[SPEAKER_05]: So enjoy.
1:14:37
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
1:14:38
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
1:14:38
[SPEAKER_05]: See you all later.
1:14:39
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
1:14:39
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, if you're driving to work, if you're working right now, listen to this.
1:14:43
[SPEAKER_01]: If you don't, you're home work.
1:14:44
[SPEAKER_05]: If you're at the gym.
1:14:45
[SPEAKER_01]: If you're at the gym, shout out to everybody who's listening to this and is a dentist, doctor.
1:14:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Loiya Berista You're a coach.
1:14:57
[SPEAKER_01]: If you're a barista somewhere at a restaurant if you're a teacher Shout out to all your students.
1:15:02
[SPEAKER_01]: We'd love you guys Yeah, we're done.
1:15:06
[SPEAKER_01]: The reason why I said it's teacher in the students thing because someone sent me a DM saying that she plays our podcast
1:15:13
[SPEAKER_01]: For their students and they love it.
1:15:16
[SPEAKER_01]: What's the plan?
1:15:17
[SPEAKER_01]: It's to learn English.
1:15:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, that's crazy So we got to watch out with the words sometimes now.
1:15:22
[SPEAKER_05]: They got to learn.
1:15:22
[SPEAKER_05]: I got to learn.
1:15:23
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay, guys.
1:15:24
[SPEAKER_05]: Bye