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Nate Jackson_s Super Funny Comedy Jam Episode 6 · Mic Drop Comedy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: What up, world?
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: It's your boy, Nate Jackson.
• 0:02
  Speaker 3: This is the Super Funny Comedy Club, and this is
• 0:04
  Speaker 3: the Super Funny Comedy Jam, and it's going.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Down live in Tacoma, Washington. Let me introduce you to
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: this episode's comics.
• 0:11
  Speaker 4: There they go!
• 0:12
  Speaker 5: What's going on? This is Reg Thomas coming all the
• 0:14
  Speaker 5: way from Brooklyn, New York.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: What's going on? This is Mo Hill hailing all the
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: way from Cleveland, Ohio.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: It's your boy Comedian Kelly, K-Dub, my name, East Memphis, Tennessee.
• 0:26
  Speaker 4: East Cleveland, East Milwaukee, East Atlanta, show love, show love.
• 0:31
  Speaker 6: And it's your boy Smokey Suarez representing Harlem, New York
• 0:36
  Speaker 6: in the building.
• 0:43
  Speaker 4: Hey Jackson, super funny conversation. What up, y'all?
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: Hey, this is the Super Funny Comedy Jam. I'm your host,
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: Nate Jackson.
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: We got some of the funniest comedians in the country
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: performing for you live right now. Thank you for tapping in.
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: We might as well get into it. We got all
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: kind of people in here. We got diversity.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: Are you a first lady of somebody's church? You look
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: like you're blessed, pressed down, shaken. That's not the pastor
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: of somebody's church right there.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: You're beautiful, but that's not a pastor. That's a pastor
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: right there. I know a pastor when I see one.
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: Nigga, I sell suits, nigga. I ain't a pastor or nothing, shit.
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: I almost miss my wife. I walk right past her.
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: That's the closest I got to being a pastor. Fuck
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: outta here, nigga. I claim all that shit.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: Y'all look good. And what's this? This is just two
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: beautiful women? You don't know each other? That's best best?
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: Why are women like that? Don't play. We will hit
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: you with our Dodge Neon. Okay, what you drive since
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: you got to set the record straight? What kind of
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: beamer is it?
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: Shout out to the three series.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: Four?
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: Okay, that's all good. I'm not hating. It is what
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: it is.
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: It's weird that you had to make sure we all
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: knew that though. I want you to know that. Yeah,
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: this is gonna play for years. They gonna be like,
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: that bitch was in a four series?
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: Somebody gonna watch this on the internet in 2035 and
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: throw up.
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, a four series. She need to get her shit together.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: But be proud of you today.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: So that's good. We got some white people here. How
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: you doing, sir?
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: You got your arms crossed like we ain't shit, like
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: my career ain't shit. I need you to relax before
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: I do a cannonball.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: On you and your wife. Like, you don't think, you
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: don't know who you're fucking with.
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: I will grab both my knees and jump off this
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: stool onto your table and kill everybody over there, okay?
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: Relax and enjoy yourself. You look like a Russian hit man.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: What are you? Are you a white man?
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: What are you?
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: What's your name, sir? Clint? I thought you said some
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: other shit. I thought he was like, my name's Clint.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: I was like, wow. Man, you are hard to find.
• 3:00
  Speaker 7: Y'all ready to start this show? Start making some noise
• 3:03
  Speaker 7: right now. Make some noise right now. Make some noise
• 3:05
  Speaker 7: right now. First comment coming to the stage, y'all. Give
• 3:08
  Speaker 7: it up for Reg Thomas.
• 3:14
  Speaker 5: What's up, man? It's a nice town. I like this town.
• 3:19
  Speaker 5: It's not my first time here. It's a vibe.
• 3:22
  Speaker 8: Little bit of a little homeless problem out here. And
• 3:25
  Speaker 8: I'm from Brooklyn, New York, we got a homeless problem too.
• 3:28
  Speaker 8: But we been doing this.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: For a while.
• 3:29
  Speaker 5: You know what I mean?
• 3:31
  Speaker 8: Like in New York, we have a very strict no
• 3:33
  Speaker 8: touch policy with our homeless people. We let them ask
• 3:37
  Speaker 8: for what they gonna ask for, sing their songs, dance
• 3:40
  Speaker 8: their dances, just don't touch nobody.
• 3:44
  Speaker 5: In Tacoma, Washington, they will just hug you. And it's like,
• 3:49
  Speaker 5: my nigga. I gave you the money, what is this about?
• 3:58
  Speaker 8: And in New York, our homeless people have more hustle.
• 4:02
  Speaker 8: I was at a Starbucks the other day, and for
• 4:04
  Speaker 8: lack of a better word, I witnessed a bum off.
• 4:09
  Speaker 8: This first guy walked to the Starbucks, he like, excuse me,
• 4:12
  Speaker 8: ladies and gentlemen, I'm very sorry for interrupting your day.
• 4:19
  Speaker 8: And out of nowhere, another one walked in and he
• 4:22
  Speaker 8: was like, I'm way more sorry.
• 4:27
  Speaker 5: And that's capitalism. That's competition.
• 4:30
  Speaker 8: On Valentine's Day, I saw a homeless couple. They were
• 4:32
  Speaker 8: holding a sign that said, we have no money. We
• 4:35
  Speaker 8: have no food. All we have is love and each other.
• 4:38
  Speaker 8: I was like, y'all need to break up. I feel
• 4:43
  Speaker 8: like you're weighing each other down. I do give money though,
• 4:47
  Speaker 8: like if I walk around, if I see someone begging
• 4:49
  Speaker 8: for money, if I got change, I'll give it to them.
• 4:51
  Speaker 8: Problem is you can't walk two blocks without someone begging
• 4:54
  Speaker 8: for money. And I still give it to them, but
• 4:56
  Speaker 8: sometimes they beg at the wrong time. You ever had
• 4:59
  Speaker 8: the homeless guy open the door for you at the bank?
• 5:05
  Speaker 8: Now you being slick, my G. And they all say
• 5:09
  Speaker 8: the same thing, on your way out. I'm like, dog,
• 5:13
  Speaker 8: on my way out, I'm going to have a bunch
• 5:15
  Speaker 8: of 20s on me. What do you think is about
• 5:16
  Speaker 8: to happen? Because you opened this door. I don't give
• 5:24
  Speaker 8: money to homeless white people.
• 5:29
  Speaker 5: Y'all felt that? Y'all felt the room change when I
• 5:33
  Speaker 5: said that? I said, I don't give money to homeless
• 5:36
  Speaker 5: white people. Y'all looked at me like, I never did.
• 5:40
  Speaker 5: Was that the joke?
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: Because we're with you.
• 5:43
  Speaker 8: I treat them the same way regular white people treat them.
• 5:45
  Speaker 8: I give them a look of confusion and disappointment like,
• 5:52
  Speaker 8: you're going to have to get it together. Me and
• 5:55
  Speaker 8: my girl, we just broke up. We were together for
• 5:57
  Speaker 8: four years. She called me cheating once.
• 6:02
  Speaker 5: A month.
• 6:03
  Speaker 8: And accused me of not knowing what loyalty was. And
• 6:08
  Speaker 8: then she got into a new relationship. And she got
• 6:10
  Speaker 8: dumped for cheating.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: With me.
• 6:15
  Speaker 5: Silly rabbit.
• 6:16
  Speaker 8: This is when it got toxic. When she got caught cheating,
• 6:18
  Speaker 8: I was there for her. I was like, yo, I
• 6:21
  Speaker 8: know what you're going through right now. Now look, you
• 6:24
  Speaker 8: would think telling a cheating joke at a comedy show
• 6:27
  Speaker 8: is a cool idea, but most comedy shows are date night.
• 6:30
  Speaker 8: So I tell a cheating joke and all the fellas
• 6:31
  Speaker 8: are like, huh, hmm. Talk about some other shit right now.
• 6:38
  Speaker 8: But personally, I think cheating jokes are funny. Fellas, you
• 6:43
  Speaker 8: ever been going through a breakup and you couldn't tell
• 6:45
  Speaker 8: your girl? You just walk around the house sad as hell.
• 6:51
  Speaker 8: And you know, your girl can read your energy.
• 6:55
  Speaker 5: She like, babe, what's wrong? You wouldn't understand.
• 7:03
  Speaker 8: Three years ago, I got invited to a friend's giving
• 7:05
  Speaker 8: that turned out to.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: Be an orgy.
• 7:08
  Speaker 5: Because I'm cool and.
• 7:10
  Speaker 8: Before I tell y'all this story, I had no idea
• 7:13
  Speaker 8: that there was going to be an orgy at the Friendsgiving.
• 7:15
  Speaker 8: But before that night, I thought I was an orgy guy.
• 7:21
  Speaker 8: Most guys in our heads, we think we're orgy ready.
• 7:25
  Speaker 8: Let an orgy break out, see what I do.
• 7:27
  Speaker 5: I fucking, you ain't going to do none of that shit.
• 7:32
  Speaker 5: That was me. And then an orgy broke out over dinner,
• 7:34
  Speaker 5: and I was.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: Like, who the fuck are you people, for real?
• 7:38
  Speaker 4: By the key lime pie.
• 7:39
  Speaker 8: 40 people at the orgy.
• 7:42
  Speaker 5: I was the only black guy. So much white sex.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: Yuck.
• 7:50
  Speaker 5: I had no idea white people get that pink. It
• 7:53
  Speaker 5: was like staring into the sun. I describe it as
• 7:59
  Speaker 5: a violet fuchsia.
• 8:01
  Speaker 8: Shit looked like a lava lamp. Lot of different vibes
• 8:03
  Speaker 8: at an orgy. Lot of different personalities. There's the girl
• 8:06
  Speaker 8: having aggressive orgasms, but no one believes her.
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: She's like, John, John. But we all watching.
• 8:13
  Speaker 8: And John not even pumping like that. That was the
• 8:17
  Speaker 8: night I learned white boys fuck with their shoulders.
• 8:19
  Speaker 5: And not their hips.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: John was going.
• 8:20
  Speaker 5: I was like, John's going to kill someone.
• 8:27
  Speaker 8: And even though I was freaked out, I was freaked out,
• 8:31
  Speaker 8: but I stayed for eight hours.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: Why did I do that?
• 8:34
  Speaker 5: Because I could not stop watching.
• 8:36
  Speaker 8: Eventually I started to walk around in an orgy like
• 8:37
  Speaker 8: a sensei who was.
• 8:38
  Speaker 5: Really impressed with his class.
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: Little tart.
• 8:54
  Speaker 8: True story, six months later I got booked to tell
• 8:56
  Speaker 8: some jokes in an all black orgy. The black orgy
• 8:58
  Speaker 8: was way more lit. They were playing better music. But
• 9:01
  Speaker 8: you know black customer service. could leave a lot to
• 9:04
  Speaker 8: be desired. They were playing better music, but they didn't
• 9:07
  Speaker 8: pay for the premium Pandora. So the whole orgy, you
• 9:13
  Speaker 8: hear some smooth music.
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: Then you hear, liberty, liberty, liberty, liberty.
• 9:18
  Speaker 5: Yo, that's my Tom, my name's Reg Thomas, thank y'all
• 9:19
  Speaker 5: very much.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: One more time for Reg Thomas.
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: Reg is like he's supposed to have on glasses.
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: He said, I looked at the sun. I was like, yeah.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: Ray Charles. Yes, you did.
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: Listen, I'm about to bring the next comic up immediately.
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: So start making noise right now. Start making noise right now.
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: Start making noise right now. Y'all give it up for
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: Mo Hill.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: Y'all look good as hell in here tonight.
• 9:58
  Speaker 9: Got all kind of people. young people, old people, niggas.
• 10:04
  Speaker 9: Where my middle-aged people at? Make some noise, my middle-aged people.
• 10:06
  Speaker 9: Middle-aged people, make some noise.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, all right. Terrible.
• 10:13
  Speaker 9: Love my middle-aged people, man. Y'all some of my favorite people, man.
• 10:17
  Speaker 9: Y'all some of my favorite people, but y'all suck at technology.
• 10:20
  Speaker 9: Y'all are the worst texters in the fucking world. Y'all
• 10:24
  Speaker 9: need to figure these phones the fuck out. If you
• 10:27
  Speaker 9: want a good answer from a middle-aged person, you gotta
• 10:29
  Speaker 9: call them. You can't text them, because they don't know
• 10:31
  Speaker 9: how to fucking respond. I texted my dad the other day.
• 10:35
  Speaker 9: I texted my dad. I said, dad, we about to
• 10:37
  Speaker 9: go to lunch. Where you want to go? This nigga replied, yes.
• 10:45
  Speaker 9: Then his next text was three eggplant emojis. For those
• 10:51
  Speaker 9: that don't know, them the dick emojis. So now I'm confused.
• 10:56
  Speaker 9: I text him back. I said, dad, what is this?
• 10:58
  Speaker 9: He gonna say, oh, my bad. I meant to send
• 10:59
  Speaker 9: that to your mama.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: What? Give me the phone.
• 11:03
  Speaker 9: So he blocked because the dick pic might be next.
• 11:08
  Speaker 9: I can't get no dick pic from my dad. That's
• 11:10
  Speaker 9: going to change the relationship. The last thing I wanted
• 11:12
  Speaker 9: to get a dick pic from my.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: Dad and I found out this nigga got a wee-wee.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: Oh my God. My dad got a fucking wee-wee. Is
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: it hereditary?
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: Fuck.
• 11:21
  Speaker 9: Love my dad, though, but he at that age where
• 11:23
  Speaker 9: he want to say what he want to say when
• 11:25
  Speaker 9: he want to say it. That's middle-aged people. Y'all say
• 11:27
  Speaker 9: what's on y'all mind. Y'all don't give a fuck the time, place.
• 11:30
  Speaker 9: Y'all don't give a fuck who listening. I'm not there yet.
• 11:33
  Speaker 9: I'm still in my mid-30s. I give a fuck. He
• 11:36
  Speaker 9: don't care. We went to lunch. It was me, him,
• 11:40
  Speaker 9: and the people that worked there.
• 11:43
  Speaker 5: That's it.
• 11:45
  Speaker 9: Out of nowhere, my dad going to whisper to me
• 11:47
  Speaker 9: out loud, Because middle-aged niggas can't whisper to save they
• 11:52
  Speaker 9: goddamn life.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: You ever heard a middle-aged man whisper? They whisper through
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: they teeth.
• 11:56
  Speaker 5: Look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: Look, look, look, look. Then when you can't hear them,
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: they get physical.
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: Look, look, look, look, look.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: Nigga, I heard you.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: You done knocked my soul around the place. Say it
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: out loud.
• 12:10
  Speaker 9: My dad gonna whisper to me out loud, there's some bitches.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: In here, Dad.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: We in Popeyes, what the fuck is you doing? These
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: little hoes got fat asses. Nigga, they can hear you.
• 12:21
  Speaker 5: I don't give a fuck, I'm 65.
• 12:23
  Speaker 9: Love my dad though, man. Learned a lot from my dad,
• 12:28
  Speaker 9: that's why I like to try to stay in shape.
• 12:30
  Speaker 9: I do like staying in shape. The problem is when
• 12:33
  Speaker 9: you work out, your friends think you supposed to help
• 12:35
  Speaker 9: them fight. My friends think because I work out, I'm
• 12:39
  Speaker 9: supposed to be their backup. And they find out every
• 12:42
  Speaker 9: single time, I'm the first to back the fuck up.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: I'm not fighting nobody.
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: I'm not fighting.
• 12:46
  Speaker 9: I know it look like I'm the nigga in the
• 12:47
  Speaker 9: crew that'll be like, ah, I see you outside.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: No, nigga, I'll see you in court. I'm not.
• 12:53
  Speaker 9: No, you think I do shoulder workouts to be cute? No,
• 12:55
  Speaker 9: so I go hold my hand up longer in court,
• 12:57
  Speaker 9: your honor. I saw the whole thing. Them niggas did
• 13:00
  Speaker 9: that shit. I be in court like a bad bitch.
• 13:03
  Speaker 9: I don't give a fuck.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: Them niggas did that shit.
• 13:09
  Speaker 9: I'm not fighting no fuck about it. When you get
• 13:10
  Speaker 9: to a certain age, you can't be fighting no more.
• 13:12
  Speaker 9: Especially when you get to your 30s, you definitely can't
• 13:15
  Speaker 9: be fighting no more.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: And I'm going to tell you why. Because your breathing change.
• 13:19
  Speaker 9: Your wind is not the same when you get to
• 13:22
  Speaker 9: your 30s. Can't be tussling with people. Some of y'all
• 13:25
  Speaker 9: got lightheaded walking to your seat. You think you're going
• 13:27
  Speaker 9: to tussle with some fucking body? You're going to take
• 13:29
  Speaker 9: your shirt off tonight and see dots in the air,
• 13:32
  Speaker 9: and you think you're going to tussle? Sit your ass down.
• 13:35
  Speaker 9: I work out to be single, man. It's hard being
• 13:39
  Speaker 9: single out here. There's too many rules. Too many rules
• 13:42
  Speaker 9: in relationships, especially being single. Too many rules.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: One rule I learned recently is if you.
• 13:47
  Speaker 9: Go to somebody's house for a one night stand and
• 13:50
  Speaker 9: you wake up and they made breakfast for one, time
• 13:53
  Speaker 9: to get your.
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: Shit and leave.
• 13:55
  Speaker 9: Get your shit and go home. I learned this the
• 13:58
  Speaker 9: hard way. I went to this girl's house one time.
• 14:00
  Speaker 9: I had a one night stand. I was so drunk,
• 14:02
  Speaker 9: I gave her the worst dick of my life. I
• 14:05
  Speaker 9: woke up, this bitch had one egg and one waffle
• 14:08
  Speaker 9: on the plate.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: Do y'all know how embarrassing it is?
• 14:11
  Speaker 9: My dick game couldn't get an extra egg in that skillet.
• 14:14
  Speaker 9: It's 12 in a carton, bitch, you couldn't put one
• 14:16
  Speaker 9: more in the skillet. That's when I learned your dick
• 14:20
  Speaker 9: game determined what kind of breakfast you get. And that's
• 14:24
  Speaker 9: why some of y'all quiet, because you can't get avocado toast.
• 14:28
  Speaker 9: There's a nigga in the back right now like, damn,
• 14:30
  Speaker 9: that do make sense. I was wondering why she gave
• 14:33
  Speaker 9: me oatmeal with no water in it. Bitch, you tried
• 14:35
  Speaker 9: to kill me. Bitch, you tried to kill me with
• 14:37
  Speaker 9: some breakfast dick, bitch.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: Old niggas get mad. They start talking shit.
• 14:41
  Speaker 9: Bitch, I had all kind of waffles and eggs in 79, bitch.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: I had omelets with three cheeses, bitch. You didn't know
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: old Otis got the dick. All right, y'all, that's been
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: my time. My name is Mo Hill. Thank you.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: That was Mo Hill. Hey, man, the.
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: Next comedian to come in, hey, this is my homeboy.
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: Y'all make some noise for Kelly Cato.
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: Show love. Show some love, man.
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: I like y'all. Y'all got good energy, goddammit. That's what
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: I'm talking about.
• 15:19
  Speaker 10: Make some noise if your check engine light on in
• 15:21
  Speaker 10: your car right now.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: Make some noise.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: Clap it up.
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: Show love.
• 15:24
  Speaker 10: Fuck that check engine light. You still drive that bitch
• 15:27
  Speaker 10: every day. Clap it up, make some noise. That check
• 15:30
  Speaker 10: engine light, goddamn it. Fuck that check engine light. I
• 15:32
  Speaker 10: bought it with the check engine light on. I'ma sell
• 15:34
  Speaker 10: it with the check engine light on. Make some noise
• 15:36
  Speaker 10: if you got a crack in your windshield.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: You still drive the shit out of it. Make some noise.
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: Real talk.
• 15:42
  Speaker 10: Clap it up if your cell phone crack. Make sure
• 15:44
  Speaker 10: you got a crack in your cell phone. You still
• 15:46
  Speaker 10: talk shit on that cell phone. Tell people there ain't
• 15:49
  Speaker 10: shit every day on that cell phone. Make some noise
• 15:52
  Speaker 10: if you got a brown toenail. Clap it up, one
• 15:53
  Speaker 10: of your toenails yellow. Clap it up, you got a
• 15:55
  Speaker 10: yellow toenail on your feet. Make some noise right now.
• 15:58
  Speaker 10: You'll beat a motherfucker ass, wear it in the grocery store.
• 16:01
  Speaker 10: Open toe, thong, sandals. Toenail out, fuck it, it's brown,
• 16:04
  Speaker 10: been brown. Don't nobody want to clap. Make some noise
• 16:07
  Speaker 10: if you sleep with somebody with a brown toenail. You
• 16:09
  Speaker 10: lay with them every night. That's your boo. I'm telling you,
• 16:12
  Speaker 10: you got kids by them. Your kids was born with
• 16:15
  Speaker 10: brown toenails. Make some noise, you got a little brown
• 16:17
  Speaker 10: toenail child. That little brown toenail will beat the shit
• 16:21
  Speaker 10: out you. A motherfucker with a brown toenail will slap
• 16:23
  Speaker 10: the shit out your ass, man. I ain't never seen
• 16:25
  Speaker 10: a motherfucker with a brown toenail lose a fight, man.
• 16:27
  Speaker 10: A motherfucker with a brown toenail will choke the shit
• 16:30
  Speaker 10: out you. I'm talking about putting their thumb in your throat.
• 16:32
  Speaker 10: I ain't talking about no regular choke. I'm talking about
• 16:33
  Speaker 10: pressing that thumb right up in your throat, nigga. I
• 16:37
  Speaker 10: seen somebody with a brown toenail come skip the line
• 16:39
  Speaker 10: at the grocery store, just that, and ain't nobody say shit.
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: You walk right to the front, put this shit on
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: the counter. I was in that line too. I ain't
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: say shit either.
• 16:49
  Speaker 10: I said, let that nigga pay for that lemon meringue
• 16:51
  Speaker 10: pie and let him.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: Get on out of here, man.
• 16:52
  Speaker 10: That's all he trying to do, pay for that little
• 16:54
  Speaker 10: lemon meringue pie. Get your life all the way together, man.
• 16:57
  Speaker 10: I don't give a fuck who you are.
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: Get your shit together.
• 17:00
  Speaker 10: You ever compliment somebody and they take it too far?
• 17:04
  Speaker 10: You weren't really trying to say all that? You compliment
• 17:07
  Speaker 10: and they take it too far.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: You be like, I like this spaghetti. Yeah, I was
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: thinking about opening up a business. Oh, hell no, bitch.
• 17:12
  Speaker 10: This shit is not, do not go get an LLC
• 17:14
  Speaker 10: for this old sweet ass.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: Dry ass spaghetti.
• 17:17
  Speaker 10: Ain't nobody about to buy this goddamn sticky ass spaghetti, bitch.
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: What you put in here?
• 17:21
  Speaker 4: Jelly?
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: This shit sweet and sticky. What the fuck you put
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: in here? This some gritty ass spaghetti you got right here.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: People ain't shit.
• 17:28
  Speaker 10: Make some noise if you ever put some drawers in
• 17:29
  Speaker 10: a bag and threw them away.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: Fuck the washer. Fuck the dryer. Get these drawers out
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: of here, man.
• 17:34
  Speaker 10: I ain't about to put them in the washer with
• 17:36
  Speaker 10: some clothes. I ain't about to put them in there
• 17:37
  Speaker 10: by themselves.
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: Goddamn it, sir.
• 17:39
  Speaker 10: I'm just going to put them in a bag, time
• 17:41
  Speaker 10: it or not, put them in another bag. Throw them
• 17:43
  Speaker 10: on top of somebody's house, make some noise, fuck these drawers.
• 17:47
  Speaker 10: Clap it up, you done threw some drawers away, ain't
• 17:49
  Speaker 10: nobody gonna clap, fuck these drawers, man. Tie them in
• 17:52
  Speaker 10: a knot, put them in a bag, tie them in
• 17:54
  Speaker 10: another knot, throw them on the back of somebody's truck,
• 17:57
  Speaker 10: let them drive off with them.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: Fuck these drawers.
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: We throw drawers away, man, fuck these drawers.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: I ain't never seen nobody to wash a little shit
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: a pair of drawers, throw them in the drive, we
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: just get rid of them.
• 18:08
  Speaker 10: Take it down to the gas station, throw them in
• 18:10
  Speaker 10: they garbage. You don't put them in your own garbage.
• 18:13
  Speaker 10: You do not put drawers in your own garbage. You'll
• 18:15
  Speaker 10: take them down to the Family Dollar, throw them in
• 18:16
  Speaker 10: their garbage.
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: Fuck that. Take them down anywhere. I don't give a fuck.
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: I ain't put them in my own garbage. I'ma take
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: them somewhere.
• 18:24
  Speaker 10: You don't put them in your own garbage. It be
• 18:26
  Speaker 10: just your luck you put them in your own garbage.
• 18:28
  Speaker 10: Your dog come out there and tatted garbage up that night.
• 18:30
  Speaker 10: Now your drawers over there in the neighbor yard. You
• 18:35
  Speaker 10: got some dirty-ass neighbors will bring your drawers back to
• 18:37
  Speaker 10: you on a stick.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: You got your drawers on a stick, sir.
• 18:41
  Speaker 10: I found your drawers on the side of my house
• 18:43
  Speaker 10: on the side by my air conditioning unit.
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: You said, what?
• 18:46
  Speaker 10: I said, your drawers around the side of my house
• 18:48
  Speaker 10: by my air conditioning unit.
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: Who draws them? They're your drawers. That's what I'm trying
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: to tell you is this trail of.
• 18:54
  Speaker 10: Trash running from your mailbox to this around the side
• 18:57
  Speaker 10: of my house.
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: By my air conditioning unit. How the fuck you know
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: they're my drawers? That's what I'm trying to tell you.
• 19:02
  Speaker 10: I got a camera system pointed right at your house.
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: You can see where the dogs throw their garbage up.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: They tore it up and tore it around the side
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: of my house by the air conditioning unit. Where the
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: footage at? That's what I'm saying.
• 19:12
  Speaker 10: If you look right here, you can see where the
• 19:14
  Speaker 10: dog is tearing the garbage up.
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: And then they bit into the drawers right there. You
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: can see where they ran off.
• 19:20
  Speaker 10: It was about 4.27 a.m. But one of the dogs
• 19:23
  Speaker 10: took the drawers on the side of my house round
• 19:25
  Speaker 10: by my air conditioning unit.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: Man, give me the goddamn drawers, man. Get the fuck
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: away from front of my goddamn house. That was early
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: in the goddamn morning. Hey, man. Hey, man. Y'all have
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: a great night. I'm comedian K-Dub.
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: Y'all holla, holla, holla.
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: Show love. Show some love. Show love. That motherfucker went
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: crazy just now.
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: That nigga's I found your draw and I got your draw.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: You took the draws off the stick.
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: I like these draws.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: Hilarious.
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: One more time for Kelly Kate Dove. I want that
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: same energy. Let's keep that rolling. Let's keep that rolling.
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: Let's keep that rolling.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: More, more, more.
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: From Harlem, New York. Y'all give it up for Smokey Suarez.
• 20:14
  Speaker 4: Give it up for all the ladies. Give it up
• 20:21
  Speaker 4: for yourself.
• 20:21
  Speaker 9: Clap.
• 20:24
  Speaker 4: Especially we got to watch out for the new ladies, fellas.
• 20:26
  Speaker 6: We got to be careful for the new ladies because
• 20:28
  Speaker 6: they outside and they dressing sexy. I had to tell
• 20:33
  Speaker 6: this lady the other day, I was like, Miss, your
• 20:36
  Speaker 6: balls is hanging from under your dress.
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah, the Transformers is out here, fellas. Yeah, you gotta
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: watch out.
• 20:46
  Speaker 6: Back in the days, you knew it was a Transformer,
• 20:48
  Speaker 6: because they had an Adam's apple.
• 20:50
  Speaker 4: So you'd be like, yo, that's a nigger.
• 20:53
  Speaker 6: Now technology is different. Now you can shave that shit
• 20:57
  Speaker 6: off with the iPhone. You got to shave the bubble
• 21:02
  Speaker 6: off your neck at $ 49.
• 21:03
  Speaker 4: 99.
• 21:06
  Speaker 6: I'm scared to meet women now, and I ain't gonna lie, fellas,
• 21:09
  Speaker 6: I'm scared to meet women. You know what I do
• 21:10
  Speaker 6: when I meet women now? I put a Viagra in
• 21:13
  Speaker 6: her drink. And I wait 30 minutes. And if that
• 21:18
  Speaker 6: sundress pop up... Hey, yo, Keisha, what the fuck is that?
• 21:24
  Speaker 4: Y'all meant to talk to you about that. I don't
• 21:29
  Speaker 4: mind gay people, I ain't gonna lie.
• 21:31
  Speaker 6: I'm scared of the new gay woman though, the little
• 21:33
  Speaker 6: shman chicks.
• 21:34
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm talking about, they be in the club,
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: fuck you looking at my girl for? Like, bitch, I'll
• 21:38
  Speaker 4: punch you in your sports bra.
• 21:40
  Speaker 6: They wonder why dudes wearing skinny jeans, these bitches done
• 21:43
  Speaker 6: took all the 34s, right? Now we walk around with
• 21:47
  Speaker 6: yeast infections and shit.
• 21:49
  Speaker 4: I got a mussy, a man pussy.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: A mussy.
• 21:54
  Speaker 6: Fellas, make some noise if you outside. You over 50,
• 21:57
  Speaker 6: make some noise. Yeah, it suck when you get old,
• 22:02
  Speaker 6: because the first thing to go when you get old
• 22:04
  Speaker 6: is your nuts.
• 22:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah, your nuts are like titties, nigga, word up.
• 22:10
  Speaker 6: Niggas like titties, word up. You can't even shit no
• 22:13
  Speaker 6: more when you over 50. You got to hold your
• 22:14
  Speaker 6: nuts in your hand. You flush the toilet, your fucking
• 22:18
  Speaker 6: balls in the basement. That's how I knew I was
• 22:21
  Speaker 6: getting old. That was the first thing I knew, because
• 22:23
  Speaker 6: my nuts changed. My nuts used to be beautiful. My
• 22:27
  Speaker 6: nuts used to look like grapes, nigga. The green grapes
• 22:30
  Speaker 6: with the water driplets. Now my nuts look like some
• 22:34
  Speaker 6: Sonny Liston boxing gloves. I ain't gonna lie, but the
• 22:38
  Speaker 6: pandemic helped me, though. I ain't gonna lie, because I
• 22:41
  Speaker 6: went and got a PPP loan.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 22:44
  Speaker 6: And I ain't fucked that money up. You know what
• 22:46
  Speaker 6: I did? I went to Dominican Republic, and I got
• 22:49
  Speaker 6: some new nuts.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: I got a.
• 22:52
  Speaker 4: BBL, ladies. A Brazilian ball lift.
• 22:58
  Speaker 6: When you get old, shit change. Your body change. You
• 23:00
  Speaker 6: can't do the same shit you used to do. I
• 23:02
  Speaker 6: used to fuck off with fast music. Any kind of music.
• 23:06
  Speaker 6: It take two to make a thing all right.
• 23:09
  Speaker 4: It take two to make it outside. Now my shit changed.
• 23:13
  Speaker 4: Now my shit old. I'm like, let's get it on.
• 23:18
  Speaker 4: Let's get it on. My dick like a Tootsie Roll commercial.
• 23:23
  Speaker 4: And the one.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: And the two. And the two.
• 23:27
  Speaker 6: I don't even pump no more, I just let the
• 23:29
  Speaker 6: dick soak. You can't be wasting your shit, fellas. You
• 23:33
  Speaker 6: can't do the same shit when you're old.
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: Word up.
• 23:36
  Speaker 4: Like, I used to nut. I ain't gonna lie, I
• 23:37
  Speaker 4: used to nut. My nut was ridiculous when I was young.
• 23:41
  Speaker 4: I nut all over the place.
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: Wop, wop, wop, wop, wop, wop.
• 23:45
  Speaker 4: Nut on the cat. Fuck you nut on me for?
• 23:51
  Speaker 4: Now that I'm older, my nut changed.
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: Like, I ain't gonna lie, my nut.
• 23:54
  Speaker 4: Like a period now.
• 23:57
  Speaker 6: Yeah, like I bust a nut every 30 days, like
• 24:00
  Speaker 6: a period. I be spotting, I be like, ooh, my
• 24:05
  Speaker 6: nut about to drop. Where the ladies at? Make some noise,
• 24:10
  Speaker 6: give it up for y'all. With a job, if y'all
• 24:14
  Speaker 6: got a job. If you making a couple.
• 24:17
  Speaker 4: Of dollars, clap right now.
• 24:18
  Speaker 6: If you making a couple of dollars. Fellas, pay attention
• 24:22
  Speaker 6: to who making a.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: Couple of dollars.
• 24:25
  Speaker 6: Cause that's all a woman give a fuck about is
• 24:27
  Speaker 6: a couple of dolls. Where the ladies at? One more
• 24:30
  Speaker 6: time with the clean house. Fellas, you can't be fucking
• 24:34
  Speaker 6: with these young chicks cause these young chicks look.
• 24:36
  Speaker 4: Good but they don't clean they house. Yeah, you know
• 24:39
  Speaker 4: who you are.
• 24:40
  Speaker 6: I went to one girl's house. You know the fly traps?
• 24:43
  Speaker 6: The sticky shit?
• 24:44
  Speaker 4: This bitch had a mouse hanging from it. Bitch, is
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: that a mouse on your ceiling?
• 24:52
  Speaker 6: And I hate to go to girls' houses, y'all got
• 24:54
  Speaker 6: roaches that act surprised like you've never seen a roach
• 24:56
  Speaker 6: in your house. She's like, ooh, I don't know who
• 25:00
  Speaker 6: roaches these is, but these are not my roaches. Bitch,
• 25:05
  Speaker 6: he got two pieces of ID with your address. That's
• 25:09
  Speaker 6: your fucking roach. He grew up in this apartment. You
• 25:13
  Speaker 6: can tell when girls got roaches in.
• 25:15
  Speaker 5: Their house too, right?
• 25:16
  Speaker 4: You can tell. It always happens when you fucking.
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: Because you be concentrating.
• 25:22
  Speaker 4: You focus, you butt naked. You focus, you concentrate. Do
• 25:26
  Speaker 4: you see the roaches walk? I don't know who roaches
• 25:32
  Speaker 4: these is.
• 25:34
  Speaker 6: And roaches got ethnic groups, you can tell the roaches
• 25:37
  Speaker 6: got ethnic groups.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 25:41
  Speaker 6: Black roaches walk straight through the living room.
• 25:46
  Speaker 4: I just got this suit out to clean this nigga.
• 25:50
  Speaker 6: You can tell it's Spanish Roach, because that's the fast Roach.
• 25:53
  Speaker 4: That's the Roach you step on and be like, I
• 25:54
  Speaker 4: ain't your male. Juke can't get me now. Juke can't
• 26:00
  Speaker 4: get me now.
• 26:02
  Speaker 6: Got to have a white Roach, too. Give it up
• 26:03
  Speaker 6: for white people, because you know y'all nosy. Y'all see
• 26:06
  Speaker 6: all the other Roaches getting killed, but y'all still want to.
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: Check it out.
• 26:11
  Speaker 6: The fuck is going on down there? My arms are
• 26:17
  Speaker 6: cracking into the fifth power. You can't even sleep around
• 26:21
  Speaker 6: this bitch. This bitch will steal your dreams. Dreams for sale, $ 5.
• 26:27
  Speaker 4: I got two Poconos and a Bermuda. You ever had
• 26:31
  Speaker 4: a crack-ass family member?
• 26:32
  Speaker 6: They steal shit that you can't find, right? Like, I
• 26:35
  Speaker 6: got an ass for Scrabble.
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: How you find asses?
• 26:41
  Speaker 6: You ever have that crack-ass family member embarrass your ass?
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah, all day.
• 26:46
  Speaker 6: Like, you walk down the street, your new girl, she
• 26:48
  Speaker 6: pop out in the bush, she's,' Nephew!' Let me get
• 26:56
  Speaker 6: a dollar. Cracker has invented the Harlem Shake.
• 27:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, the first cracker had to hit some crack,
• 27:04
  Speaker 4: then it was like.
• 27:20
  Speaker 4: My aunt, yo, like I said, we couldn't take this
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: bitch nowhere.
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: I ain't gonna lie. This is a true story.
• 27:25
  Speaker 4: We took her to a pet shop.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: This bitch trying to steal a bird. What?
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: What?
• 27:34
  Speaker 4: No, I came in here with this bird. I always
• 27:39
  Speaker 4: have parents.
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: Yo, give it up for yourself. That's my boy Nate,
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: the favorite joke. Smokey Suarez, y'all.
• 27:48
  Speaker 6: Hell yeah.
• 27:49
  Speaker 4: And y'all keep it going for Mo Hill, Kelly K. Dell,
• 27:55
  Speaker 4: Reg Thomas.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: That's our episode, y'all.
• 27:58
  Speaker 8: I'll see y'all next week.