Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / 4 Things a narcissist is thinking when they are insulting you

Transcript

4 Things a narcissist is thinking when they are insulting you · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on, beautiful people?
• 0:02
  Today we are talking about what goes on inside the mind of a
• 0:06
  narcissist whenever they insult you.
• 0:08
  What are they thinking when they when they are insulting you?
• 0:11
  We're talking bad about you. If you're new here, my name is
• 0:13
  Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
• 0:15
  narcissist and welcome to another episode of The
• 0:17
  Narcissist Code. So welcome back, Welcome back.
• 0:37
  Welcome back. Yes, y'all.
• 0:38
  Yes, I know this episode has come highly recommended from
• 0:45
  from people around the world that are dealing with
• 0:47
  narcissistic people. Like, I know a lot of y'all have
• 0:50
  already have your initial thoughts on what goes on inside
• 0:54
  the mind of a narcissist whenever they're like insulting
• 0:56
  you or being mean to you and what not.
• 0:58
  Like, what are they thinking? Like what the hell Like where
• 1:01
  are these negative thoughts even coming from when they're saying
• 1:05
  a lot of this wildness and craziness to you?
• 1:07
  Like what? What What are they thinking?
• 1:09
  Like what's what's going on inside the mind of them.
• 1:11
  So I mean there's there could be a few different things that a
• 1:14
  narcissist is thinking when they are insulting you, right?
• 1:17
  The first thing that's going to come to mind is they are
• 1:20
  thinking about themselves. Like when a narcissist is
• 1:23
  insulting you, they might really be thinking about how they
• 1:27
  actually feel about themselves. Like what's actually going on
• 1:30
  inside of my mind and what not. Like what's going on here.
• 1:34
  Like I like you know projection pretty much like what's going on
• 1:38
  inside the mind of a narcissist when they are project like what?
• 1:42
  Like they're projecting projection is when they are.
• 1:46
  You know, the way I describe it is like, you know how a, a movie
• 1:50
  projector in like inside a movie theater, like how the insides of
• 1:54
  the movie, the insides, the real of the movie projector is
• 1:58
  projected on the wall. That's what narcissistic people
• 2:01
  do with their internal feelings about themselves.
• 2:03
  They projected on everybody else around them.
• 2:07
  You know, so you can see the, you can kind of see the movie
• 2:11
  that's going on inside the mind of a narcissist by how they talk
• 2:14
  about you sometimes. Because most of the times, the
• 2:17
  insults and the way that they talk about you and the things
• 2:19
  that they say to you are not warranted.
• 2:22
  You know, they come out of nowhere just like, oh, you look
• 2:25
  like you've been cheating on me. Oh, you look like you've been
• 2:26
  struggling. Oh, you look tired.
• 2:28
  Oh, you look sick. Oh, you just fit.
• 2:30
  You look sad and pathetic. They just like and you like
• 2:33
  what? What are you what are you
• 2:34
  talking about? I'm going to set a boot.
• 2:37
  Oh, yeah. I miss my, my, my candidate,
• 2:39
  folks. I'm going to say I'm going to
• 2:40
  set a boot. Like, where did they come from?
• 2:45
  But that's how they go. That's goes inside the mind of a
• 2:48
  narcissistic person right there when they're thinking that, it's
• 2:50
  just like, OK, what, you know, I, how I feel about myself is
• 2:56
  projected onto the outside world, and you will know how I
• 3:00
  feel about myself depending upon what I say about you.
• 3:04
  Like, literally what I say about you is how I feel about me.
• 3:08
  And I know a lot of, I know it's difficult for a lot of people to
• 3:11
  even like fathom that, but that's the dynamic gal.
• 3:14
  That really is how it goes. Like you will hear, like I said,
• 3:18
  you will hear. And a lot of times they will
• 3:20
  tell on themselves when a narcissist is projecting and
• 3:23
  insulting you and accusing you of craziness and wildness that
• 3:26
  you can't, you can't even fathom they are telling on themselves.
• 3:31
  They are like, you know, verbal vomiting on you about what's
• 3:35
  what they are doing, like the insults and accusations and the
• 3:38
  craziness, like the even the smear campaign, you know, the
• 3:41
  smear campaign is composed of insults and things like that.
• 3:45
  So even the stuff that they're telling other people about you
• 3:48
  is maybe what they have done or what they have, what they're,
• 3:53
  how they are feeling about themselves.
• 3:55
  So they can start a smear campaign and just be projecting
• 3:59
  how they feel about themselves or what they have actually done
• 4:02
  onto other people. You see what I'm saying?
• 4:05
  And so this one thing that goes on the side of the mind of a
• 4:07
  narcissist when they are absolutely insulting you or say
• 4:10
  just coming up with all kind of falsities and things like that,
• 4:15
  You know, another thing that goes inside the mind of a
• 4:17
  narcissist when they are insulting you or just making
• 4:19
  things up is insecurities. I'm insecure.
• 4:26
  I feel meek. I feel tiny.
• 4:28
  I feel teeny. I feel.
• 4:30
  I feel teeny weeny. I feel so small right now.
• 4:34
  And because I feel small, because I feel so small, I need
• 4:37
  to I need to make you feel smell too.
• 4:39
  So I feel smell. So you got to feel smell too.
• 4:42
  You see what I'm saying? That's the space, that's the
• 4:45
  dynamics. That's where the mind goes right
• 4:47
  there, you know, because. I feel so small right now.
• 4:50
  I need to make you feel small. We both we both going to be
• 4:53
  feeling small. OK?
• 4:54
  This is how it goes, you know. So they're insecurities.
• 5:00
  They are insulting you because they are insecure.
• 5:02
  Yes, this also could be a form of projection as well.
• 5:05
  But they're insecure. They feel small.
• 5:09
  They feel unaccomplished. They feel below average.
• 5:11
  They feel average. It's not even below average.
• 5:14
  Sometimes it feels below average.
• 5:16
  They could just be feeling like they're average and they just
• 5:18
  feel like I need to feel above average.
• 5:20
  So how do I do this? Let me put down my partner, who
• 5:23
  hasn't done anything. Let me put down my kids.
• 5:26
  Let me put down my friend. Let me insult them out of
• 5:30
  nowhere to make me feel bigger and better and stronger because
• 5:33
  that's how you feel. Like a big strong man or woman
• 5:36
  or whoever you are, You know? That's how it goes.
• 5:39
  They're insulting you because they're insecure.
• 5:42
  They goes inside the mind of a narcissistic person.
• 5:44
  Y'all it really, really does. Another reason that narcissistic
• 5:50
  people are insulting you. You know what I said?
• 5:53
  What's going on inside the mind of them is they are trying to
• 5:56
  protect themselves. Defense mechanism.
• 6:00
  So this is my perspective on narcissism as a whole anyway.
• 6:03
  That's why narcissism is a defense, a defensive personality
• 6:08
  disorder. It's defensive personality
• 6:10
  traits, you know, it comes from defending ourselves.
• 6:15
  So in order to defend myself, I attack other people, you know,
• 6:19
  in defense. If I feel like I'm getting
• 6:21
  criticized, I feel like I need to attack.
• 6:24
  I feel like if I'm getting held accountable, I feel like I need
• 6:26
  to attack. If I feel like if I feel like
• 6:28
  I'm getting judged inappropriately, I feel like I
• 6:32
  need to attack and defend myself.
• 6:34
  So a lot of times the, like the insults that goes inside the
• 6:37
  mind of a narcissist when they're insulting you is the
• 6:40
  fact that they are trying to defend themselves, you know, But
• 6:44
  I need to defend myself against you.
• 6:47
  So This is why when they're insulting you, This is why.
• 6:50
  You know what I mean? They feel like you insulted
• 6:52
  them, so they feel like they have to defend themselves
• 6:53
  against you. This is why the horrible stuff
• 6:56
  comes out, you know, This is why.
• 6:58
  A lot of the horrible things that they do, like they when you
• 7:02
  tell them a secret or something like that, you've you've
• 7:04
  discussed a secret with them, right?
• 7:07
  And now they're telling everybody, like I said now any
• 7:10
  kind of deep, dark secret, any type of trauma that you shared
• 7:13
  with this person. No.
• 7:15
  Yeah. It's no holds barred.
• 7:17
  It's going to come out right now, like you shared this with
• 7:21
  me. So I'm going to share it with
• 7:22
  the damn world. The whole world is going to hear
• 7:25
  it. Because you shouldn't have told
• 7:27
  me this, because you told me this.
• 7:28
  Now the world is going to hear it.
• 7:30
  You know what I mean? Now do now.
• 7:32
  You're going to feel it. This is the perspective.
• 7:34
  This is the mindset. This is how it goes right here.
• 7:37
  You are going to feel it now. That's how y'all.
• 7:40
  It's a horrible way of thinking. It's a horrible way of like
• 7:43
  living. It's a horrible way of
• 7:44
  interacting when you're dealing with narcissistic people because
• 7:47
  they feel like they they you have to defend yourself.
• 7:50
  So I had to defend myself. I feel like you hurt me even
• 7:53
  though you might not have y'all. You might have just offered some
• 7:55
  constructive criticism. You might have offered some
• 7:58
  valid criticism you what you said might actually be extremely
• 8:02
  valid, but in the mind of that narcissistic person, they're
• 8:07
  going to take it personal and they might attack you.
• 8:10
  You are now as accusatory. So now I feel like I need to go
• 8:13
  on the the defense, I need to go on a defensive, defensive.
• 8:17
  So I need to attack you. You mean because you attack me.
• 8:20
  I feel like I have to attack you.
• 8:22
  That's where we go with it. That's the mindset.
• 8:23
  That's the that's the perspective of it right there.
• 8:26
  A lot of the time that you hurt me, I have to hurt you.
• 8:29
  So that ain't no holds barred. There are no holds barred.
• 8:32
  Anything you told me in the past, I'm going to levy at you
• 8:35
  right now. You know I'm going to levy at
• 8:38
  you right now. I'm going to try to bring you
• 8:40
  down to a level that you've probably never ever felt before
• 8:42
  or a level that you probably never, never, ever thought you
• 8:45
  would be. Because just because I
• 8:47
  misinterpreted what you said to me, I You know, you try to give
• 8:51
  me some constructive criticism because you care about me.
• 8:53
  You want the best for me. But I misinterpreted it as you
• 8:57
  trying to hurt me. So I needed to hurt you.
• 8:59
  You know what I mean? I just feel like they're right
• 9:02
  there. Y'all.
• 9:02
  And so the last thing I'm going to talk about today, y'all.
• 9:05
  So you made it this far. Drop a drop a flame emoji in the
• 9:08
  comment section. Last thing we're going to talk
• 9:10
  about Because inside the mind of a narcissist, when they're
• 9:12
  insulting you, what are they thinking when they're insulting
• 9:13
  you Is the fact that they just could be bored.
• 9:19
  Let's keep it hot. Let's keep it hot.
• 9:23
  They just could absolutely be bored.
• 9:24
  A lot of narcissists suffer from chronic boredom.
• 9:29
  I'm not saying that you are a boring person.
• 9:31
  They might have told you that you're boring.
• 9:33
  They used to be the main insult that I used to throw at my wife.
• 9:35
  You're boring. I know she's my boss, is
• 9:37
  extremely outgoing, fun person. She's not boring.
• 9:39
  I'm boring. There's projection right there.
• 9:42
  You see a high projection. I was a boring person, so I
• 9:44
  would just put it on to her. I would call it boring because I
• 9:48
  know that that's insulting. VOA.
• 9:52
  That's never hurt our feelings or whatnot.
• 9:54
  That's how it goes. So.
• 9:55
  But I will be bored. So I would just call her bored.
• 9:58
  Your narcissistic person in your life could be bored to suffer
• 10:01
  from chronic boredom and they need to spice it up so they just
• 10:04
  attack you. And no, this is not me saying oh
• 10:07
  you deserved it or this is this is what's supposed to happen
• 10:10
  now. Hell no, that's not what that is
• 10:12
  absolutely not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is they are
• 10:15
  bored and so they they, they they to and to make some have
• 10:18
  some fun to hurt you. Some narcissists do take
• 10:21
  pleasure in hurting you, and they know their words affect
• 10:25
  people in different ways. So if words affect you
• 10:27
  negatively, they can use their words to hurt you, maybe more,
• 10:31
  even more than they can physically do hurt you.
• 10:33
  You know what I'm saying? They might not have ever put
• 10:34
  their hands on you, but they put, they put their words on
• 10:37
  you. You know, they they beat you
• 10:38
  down with their words, haven't they?
• 10:40
  That's a side effect of it as well.
• 10:42
  So they could absolutely just be bored, y'all, and now they feel
• 10:45
  like they'd have to hurt you or have to get back at you.
• 10:47
  You haven't. Like I said, this is not me
• 10:49
  saying that you've done anything to this person to deserve this.
• 10:51
  I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that.
• 10:54
  Look at my mouth. I'm not saying you've done
• 10:56
  anything to deserve it. They might feel like you have.
• 10:59
  Of course they feel like. Of course they probably do feel
• 11:00
  like you have. It's why they doing it.
• 11:02
  You know me. But I'm not saying it.
• 11:03
  Lee's not saying it should say Lee did not call me born and Lee
• 11:06
  did not say I deserve this. Thank you.
• 11:08
  You know, I mean anyways y'all make sure y'all subscribe to my
• 11:12
  newsletter if you haven't y'all my first ever video series.
• 11:15
  Plus I'm creating the community as well to go along with this
• 11:18
  video series about understanding narcissistic to the seven stages
• 11:22
  of understanding and narcissistic relationship with a
• 11:24
  community as well that I'd be active in every single day
• 11:28
  during my newsletter. The link is in the description
• 11:30
  of every single video and podcast that I do.
• 11:32
  Newsletter slash e-mail list. Thank y'all so much.
• 11:34
  I truly appreciate you for being here, but to the list is out.
• 11:37
  Please thank you so much for making it to the end of my
• 11:40
  video. You are a mental illness
• 11:41
  Rockstar and I appreciate you for being here.
• 11:43
  If you haven't already, make sure to click on the screen to
• 11:45
  subscribe to the channel and watch another one of my videos
• 11:48
  on my playlist. There's also a link available up
• 11:51
  here for you to purchase my kids.
• 11:53
  But remember, it's not your fault on Amazon so check that
• 11:56
  out. Thank you.
• 11:57
  I will see you in the next video.
• 11:58
  Peace.