Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Why is Blocking a Narcissist So Hard?

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Why is Blocking a Narcissist So Hard? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So y'all, come on, come on, come on.
• 0:02
  Why is it so hard to block a narcissist?
• 0:07
  Yeah, yeah. Now, before y'all jump down my
• 0:10
  throat, the physical act of blocking them is easy.
• 0:14
  You can go to their contact, go to their social media profile,
• 0:17
  do to do. Would you like to block this
• 0:19
  person? Yes.
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  That part is easy, right? The finger action, the finger
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  motions. That part about blocking a
• 0:25
  narcissist is easy, am I right? Am I right?
• 0:29
  Yes, that part is easy. That's the simple part, but it's
• 0:32
  the emotional part that's connected to the physical part
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  that makes it a little bit more difficult, right?
• 0:39
  If y'all new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
• 0:41
  I'm a diagnosed narcissist and I this my channel y'all.
• 0:43
  I'll give my channel to give you all the perspective of a
• 0:46
  narcissist and help survivors and thrivers heal and get out of
• 0:50
  that thing if you want to get out of it or learn how to
• 0:51
  survive while you're in it right?
• 0:53
  But yes, y'all narcissistic people, narcissist make it very
• 0:58
  difficult to block them like a relationship.
• 1:00
  And I can think everybody who who's been following me for any
• 1:03
  amount of time, I've been active about five years on this thing.
• 1:07
  Everybody who've been following me for any amount of time
• 1:09
  understands that like narcissist, being in a
• 1:12
  relationship with a narcissist is unlike anything you've ever
• 1:15
  experienced before, right? It's unless you have a
• 1:17
  narcissistic parent, it's still going to be different.
• 1:20
  But being in a relationship with a narcissist is very, very
• 1:23
  difficult. Y'all understand how hard it is
• 1:27
  to be in an abusive relationship with a person that pushes and
• 1:30
  pulls, ups and downs, slips and falls back and forth?
• 1:33
  There's all this kind of craziness to you to where you
• 1:36
  get confused. You don't understand what you're
• 1:38
  going through. You don't know whether you're
• 1:40
  coming or you're going or you're going or you're coming, right?
• 1:43
  You don't get it. You don't know it because you're
• 1:45
  just experiencing it. You're just kind of going
• 1:47
  through the flow, right? It's very difficult on your
• 1:50
  emotional system, on your brain, on your on your heart, on your
• 1:53
  emotions. And so it makes it hard to let
• 1:55
  them go. It makes it hard to cut ties
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  with them. Trauma bonds make it tough for
• 2:00
  you to let go, for you to finally set yourself free,
• 2:02
  right? Yes, they do.
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  Trauma bonds make it hard to set yourself free.
• 2:08
  They do. But if you're dealing with a
• 2:10
  manipulator or an abuser or a toxic narcissistic person, you
• 2:14
  can get to that point where you block them.
• 2:16
  But why is it so hard in the 1st place, Lee?
• 2:18
  Why does it, Lee? You said you go.
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  You promised me you would tell the boy it's so hard.
• 2:22
  Get to the point, Lee. I get that.
• 2:24
  Yeah, I get that comment a lot. Like, y'all get to the get, Lee,
• 2:27
  just get to the point. You talk a lot.
• 2:29
  Yeah. What the if I get to the point
• 2:30
  in the video will be one second long.
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  The the point is the title. Everybody keeps saying that like
• 2:35
  get to the point. You're just beating around the
• 2:38
  Bush. I'm a keep beating around the
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  Bush. It's my bitch.
• 2:42
  My, this, my, my, this channel is my bushes.
• 2:45
  But yeah, yeah. So this is when you're dealing
• 2:47
  with a manipulator on abuser or toxic narcissistic person, it's
• 2:50
  going to be difficult because you're so attached to them
• 2:53
  because like you're going like blocking him.
• 2:55
  It's the final chapter. Like this says say the
• 2:58
  relationship with a the relationship with a narcissist.
• 3:00
  It really is. It really is like reading a
• 3:05
  book. This is my kids book.
• 3:07
  It's called Remember, it's not your fault.
• 3:09
  It's over on Amazon to help you with help you talk to your kids
• 3:12
  about narcissistic relationships.
• 3:14
  Remember, it's not your fault over on Amazon.
• 3:17
  Check it out. But yeah, it's like writing a
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  book. This, this relationship is your
• 3:25
  book. You're going through it.
• 3:27
  There's going to be the beginning, the love by me phase,
• 3:29
  the middle part of it, or as tough as hard as hell to deal
• 3:32
  with this person, like the the devaluation phase where the
• 3:35
  relationship changes when they start to treat you badly, the
• 3:38
  discard phase where they get rid of you.
• 3:40
  And sometimes the hoovering phase where they come back like
• 3:43
  the sequel, the sequel, right? The sequel is way, you know,
• 3:48
  very rarely are you going to find a sequel that's better than
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  the original, right? So when they try to come back,
• 3:54
  that's the hoovering phase. So the UPS and that the the push
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  and pull on your emotional nervous system.
• 3:59
  It's going to be tough as hell to let them go.
• 4:01
  Y'all, when you block them, it's like closing the book for good.
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  You see, the back of the book says, remember, it's not your
• 4:08
  fault. It's like closing the book for
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  good. The finality of it.
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  It's hard to say goodbye. Boys to Men has a very, very
• 4:18
  popular song. It's so hard to say goodbye to
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  yesterday because it is. It's tough to let this person
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  go. This is final.
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  It's like, are you OK with this being the last time that you're
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  going to talk to this person? Because you have to be.
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  That's one of the things you have to be OK with.
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  I know people are like, well, I don't want to be OK with it.
• 4:36
  I get that part right there, right?
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  But in order to heal, in order to set, finally set yourself
• 4:40
  free, you have to be OK with this right here.
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  Y'all, you have have to be OK with the thoughts that you might
• 4:45
  not ever talk to this person again.
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  They might not ever reach out to you again.
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  Well Lee, what if they change and I blocked?
• 4:52
  Lee, what if I blocked them and they change?
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  How would I know? It doesn't matter because you're
• 4:56
  done, right? Also know that narcissists
• 5:00
  typically are not going to change their behaviors.
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  It doesn't matter because you are done.
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  But what if I'm not? I'm going to tell y'all you,
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  hey, look, if you want to win and whatever winning looks like
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  for you in these relationship dynamics, if you want to win,
• 5:15
  you have to be done mentally, physically, emotionally,
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  whatever it looks like for you, you have to be ready to be done.
• 5:21
  Because if you're not, then this is going to continue for a very,
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  very long time. A very long time.
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  And I know this is going to drive people crazy, but for a
• 5:32
  very long time. So you have to be ready and
• 5:35
  prepared to hit that block button.
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  And it's going to be tough because blocking them means that
• 5:39
  it's over for good. It means that it's finished.
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  It means that you might not ever talk to this person again.
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  So yes, y'all, it's understandable that you were sad
• 5:51
  that you missed the person that you were hurting.
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  Why y'all? Why would why is that?
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  Why it's OK? It's OK to miss the person that
• 6:01
  you shared your life with, that you plan on building a life
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  with, the person that you might have kids with, the person that
• 6:06
  you might have been, you might have been married to for
• 6:08
  20304060 years. It's understandable because when
• 6:15
  you block them, it's just like, well, this is going, this is
• 6:18
  going to be the final. What if they change?
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  What if they what if they what if I what if they do want to
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  reach out to me? What if, what if, what happens
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  then? Like what if me blocking them
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  makes them want to change, but they can't get in contact with
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  me to tell me that they tell me that they've changed.
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  You have to be ready to be done. You do.
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  Now there is even tough me to even say to you, because that's
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  one of the things that this can be extremely difficult when
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  you're dealing with a manipulator or an abusive
• 6:44
  person, because once you're done, you need to be done.
• 6:47
  Because if you block them and like and you have to be ready to
• 6:51
  block them. And one of the one of the things
• 6:53
  that makes it so hard to block an artist is the fact that you
• 6:56
  can just easily unblock them, right?
• 6:58
  You can block unblock. You blocked them before, but you
• 7:00
  unblocked them very shortly after, right?
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  You blocked them before, but you unblocked them and then they
• 7:06
  reached out and then they you like I'm unblocked them just in
• 7:09
  case. And then as soon as you
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  unblocked them, it's like the damn sign from the universe.
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  You get a message from them or a call from them.
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  They need some help or they're hurting and they miss you.
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  They miss your voice. They haven't talked to you in a
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  long time. They can't.
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  They don't know how to live without you, right?
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  They don't know how to live without you anymore.
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  So when you're dealing with this person you like, well damn like
• 7:27
  you don't know how to live without me anymore.
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  This is kind of crazy, right? This is kind of wild that you
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  don't know how to live without me anymore, but you did
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  everything to lose me. You don't know you claimed me.
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  You don't know how to live without me, but you literally
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  did everything in your power to lose me.
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  You literally did everything in your grasp put to grasp but to
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  lose me. What does that?
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  How does that make sense to y'all right there?
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  They, they, they, they said they wanted to treat me better.
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  No, they, they said they wanted to treat you better.
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  But what did their behaviors show you?
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  What did their behaviors show you?
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  Because just because they said they wanted to do something,
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  actually doing it is complete a completely different ball game.
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  They said they wanted to do this, they said they wanted to
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  do that, but actually doing it is a completely different ball
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  game. It really, really is.
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  So it's tough to block them because you might still be
• 8:21
  connected to them, you might still have kids with them, you
• 8:23
  might still be friends with their family, you might still be
• 8:25
  friends with their friends. Y'all might have mutual friends.
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  You have mutual acquaintances. You're still going to possibly
• 8:31
  see them. So I don't even know what the
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  point of blocking them is. If I'm going to see them in
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  traffic, if I'm going to see them in public, why do I need to
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  block them? Because you need it for
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  yourself. You need to.
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  So you need to do it to prove to yourself that you can do it, to
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  prove to yourself that it is possible to go ahead and block
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  them, to be rid of them, to set yourself free.
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  This is why you need to do it. This is why it's a necessity.
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  This is why you have to do it. Because if you don't, I'm just
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  telling you, you're going to ruin.
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  Yeah, you, I don't say you ruin your life, but you're going to
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  very have a very, very tough existence.
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  I'll say that right there. You're going to have a very
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  tough existence if you don't know how to, if you don't know
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  how to live without this person, if you don't look, if you can't
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  learn how to block this person because what's going to happen
• 9:13
  is if you don't block them, right?
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  If you don't block them, what's going to happen is you're going
• 9:16
  to be having a good day. Even like, damn, I haven't felt
• 9:19
  this good in a long time. I haven't felt this.
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  I haven't felt this good in a very long time, but I feel
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  great. And then guess what happens,
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  Bing, you get a message from them.
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  Bing, get a call from them. And if your whole day is ruined,
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  you felt great the whole day or you woke up in the morning
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  feeling great, you didn't cry yours.
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  You didn't cry the first day when you woke up.
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  I didn't cry this morning. Bing message comes through for
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  them. Well, Lee, I don't want to block
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  them because what if they need me?
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  They had every opportunity when you were together, when you had
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  when they had access to you. I don't want to block them
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  because they what if they need me?
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  What if they need my help? They don't need your help.
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  They need to take advantage of you.
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  That's what they do. That's what they do.
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  That's why it's so difficult. There's there's there's ladies
• 10:01
  in my support group right now that have are having this
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  problem right here, this exact problem.
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  What if they need me? There's nobody, nobody else is
• 10:11
  going to be there for them. Ask yourself this question right
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  here, y'all. Why is nobody else there for
• 10:16
  them? Why do you have to be the only?
• 10:21
  Why are you the only person there for them?
• 10:24
  Why? Why are you the only person
• 10:26
  that's been there for them? Yeah, This is something you need
• 10:29
  to ask yourself. Why is everybody else not want
• 10:32
  to be around them? Anybody.
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  Everybody else doesn't want anything to have to do with
• 10:35
  them. Like why is that right there?
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  That's something you have to ask yourself.
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  You need to get the answer to the question for right there.
• 10:43
  Because they're pushing everybody away because they
• 10:44
  don't know how to behave. They don't know how to act and
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  they damn sure are not trying to treat you any better because how
• 10:50
  does that benefit you? Them treating they they don't
• 10:53
  treat you any better because they don't feel like they have
• 10:55
  to. If you don't block me, I think
• 10:57
  you want me. And the fact that the fact that
• 11:00
  I think you want me lets me know.
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  Like the simple fact that I think you want me lets me know
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  debt. I can keep doing what I've done
• 11:11
  before, that I don't have to change any of my behaviors.
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  I don't have to change anything about me because I can keep
• 11:17
  doing what I wanted to do and what I want to do before.
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  And that's not going to affect me in any way because you're not
• 11:23
  going to leave me. You're not going to block me.
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  The ones that blocking can help set you free.
• 11:27
  It's tough to block them because they make it hard, Y'all, they
• 11:29
  make it hard. They they keep.
• 11:31
  Well, Lee, I don't want to block them because they're just going
• 11:33
  to create another number. Let them create another number.
• 11:35
  That's then you can go file harassment charges on them
• 11:37
  because they keep doing it. You've shown them you you've
• 11:39
  told them to leave you alone. Now they're making fake numbers.
• 11:41
  They're making fake emails. Now what?
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  We. I can't believe you would do
• 11:44
  this. You were childish.
• 11:46
  Yeah, some people don't block them because they feel like it's
• 11:48
  childish. Well, I feel like I'm childish
• 11:50
  for blocking them. You're not childish for blocking
• 11:52
  an abusive person. Get that out of your system.
• 11:54
  You are not childish for blocking an abuser or
• 11:56
  manipulator. It does not make you childish to
• 11:59
  block them. It absolutely does not.
• 12:03
  So that's something you have to think about to y'all, as you
• 12:05
  continue to grow, as you continue to heal, as you
• 12:07
  continue to move forward, that's something you absolutely need to
• 12:09
  think about. Anyway, y'all think rocking
• 12:12
  rocking with me to the end of this video?
• 12:14
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• 12:17
  my courses, everything is available at mentalillness.net.
• 12:21
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• 12:23
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• 12:27
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• 12:30
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• 12:45
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• 12:48
  I can it could be anonymous as well.
• 12:49
  Just tell me just kind of tell me describe yourself right how
• 12:53
  you look just height height, ethnicity.
• 12:55
  It's on me. I don't need to know anything
• 12:57
  else anyway, your hair style peace y'all what's going on
• 13:01
  beautiful people. Thank you so much for making it
• 13:03
  to the end of my video. I'm so grateful, so grateful.
• 13:07
  While you're here, go ahead and click on the screen to watch my
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  Video pic for you. Anyway, y'all, thank you again,
• 13:17
  I'm up. Peace.