Latest / Mommywood / Creator of Actors Rise, Career Coach, Actor and the trauma of losing a parent while becoming one - Jenna Doolittle

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Creator of Actors Rise, Career Coach, Actor and the trauma of losing a parent while becoming one - Jenna Doolittle · Mommywood

0:00
Mom. Hey, I'm your host Emily bolts.
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I'm an actor, teacher, and a new mom.
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Once I became pregnant, I went on a hunt for answers to all my
0:17
questions about being a working actor.
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Mom, and what did I find practically?
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Nothing. So here I am asking all the
0:25
questions to try to figure out how people do it how our mothers
0:29
balancing Ting. I'm not balancing Parenthood in
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this crazy and just re join me and my amazing guests as we take
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a real look into the lives of working moms in the
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entertainment industry. On this episode of mommy, would
0:45
I'm talking to the incredible, Jenna Doolittle and as it says
0:49
on her Instagram she is a dude. Little who does a lot and a holy
0:54
moly does she she really does. So Much.
1:00
She is a career coach. She's an actor, she's a
1:03
podcaster, mental health Advocate.
1:05
She created the actors rise newsletter.
1:08
It's a whole company. Now she is a mom.
1:13
Now she has an incredible brand-new baby boy, which is so
1:17
exciting and she's just a sweetheart too.
1:23
She is so kind so generous she what she does, she does because
1:29
she loves As the actor Community, she loves actors.
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It's just amazing what she does. And what she's been through this
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episode is a hard one. I'm not gonna lie.
1:43
She unfortunately, lost her mom during her pregnancy and her
1:51
husband also lost his father during their pregnancy.
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I am not even begin to fathom. The amount of grief that she has
2:02
had to go through because when we talk about the juxtaposition
2:09
of being a mom and becoming a mom, and having that those
2:14
opposing feelings all at, once the sadness, and joy, she has
2:21
really felt the sadness and joy at the same time.
2:29
So, So to hear all that she's able to do and how she is able
2:34
to have such a good perspective on life.
2:40
Now, especially the preciousness of it.
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After, after losing her own mother while becoming a mother.
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Oh, it is. I just, I have tears are
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streaming down my face right now.
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I'm not gonna lie. It is obviously that is Only a
3:00
part of her story but I mean, she's just incredible and she's
3:06
so kind. I just can't say enough good
3:08
things about her and and besides that to hear how she was able to
3:17
create this business and juggle, becoming a new mom and juggling
3:24
her business and all the things that she has going on is just
3:29
really great. Eight and it was so great to
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make a new friend. I feel like I could really
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relate to her on a lot of things and and small world she's
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actually really good friends with two women.
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I work with which is yeah, really small world and
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incredible. We should all have a playdate
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together. Oh my gosh, I'm such a mom.
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Anyway, please enjoy this episode and enjoy.
3:59
Oy the incredible. Jenna Doolittle.
4:04
It's so nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.
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Thanks for having me. Of course.
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Thank you for taking the time. You have a brand-new baby.
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He's pretty brand-new. He's like Kobe 11 weeks on
4:17
Sunday. So, yeah, he's still a little, a
4:19
little squishy baby, his name. His name's Kingston.
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Oh my God, that's so sweet. How have you been?
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How are you? I'm good.
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I mean, I'm I'm all the things like I'm I'm happy.
4:37
I'm sad, I'm tired, I'm energized.
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I'm like it. Just depends.
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What moment you happen to him yet.
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In this very moment, I feel quite good.
4:46
That's good. I'm so glad.
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So I'm why I have so many questions for you but we'll
4:55
start with like what has been your journey up to Motherhood
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like career-wise or like if you like decided you were ready and
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what was it that made you think you were like ready or in the
5:12
position it like position to have a baby and Like, where is
5:17
your career bin up until this point?
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Yeah. Oh, that's a lot of a lot.
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Sorry. No, it's okay.
5:28
I'm here, baby. I'm gonna plow.
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It's all good. I've always known that.
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I like wanted to be a mom. So that was never a question for
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me. I don't know that you're ever
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really ready for anything in life.
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I always say like are you ready, enough?
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You know, but I You know, I'd had been married to my husband
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for a while and was in my 30s and at you know, we felt like we
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needed to start trying at some point and so we both wanted to
6:00
start a family basically and as far as my career, to be honest,
6:05
I've been pulling away from acting for the past couple of
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years but I've been through a very long journey with my acting
6:12
career. You know, I started acting when
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I was a kid and then I moved to New York because It's like what
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I thought you did after college. I went to school for theater,
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then when I moved out here was when I kind of like fell into TV
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and film, it was never what I thought I wanted to do with my
6:28
life. But it's just like what everyone
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was doing out here thing. Yeah so I started doing it and
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and really like fell in love with television but I also
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started a business during the pandemic called actors rise.
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All about you know, helping other Ders to achieve their
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career goals and I really fell in love with doing that work and
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it's not that I don't love being an actor, I'll always be an
6:57
actor and I, you know, I got an audition the other week that I
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did, even though I said being a mom, I'm Not Really Gonna
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audition that much anymore and not just because I'm a mom
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because I'm a an entrepreneur and there are other things that
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I want to do in my life creatively.
7:12
Gosh, am I answering this question?
7:13
Look, I'm just tired. I tend to ask questions when
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circles so you're doing great. Okay.
7:22
Okay. But yeah, I always knew I wanted
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to be a mom and so it just felt like it made sense and we
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actually started trying, you know, three, four years ago now.
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So we had a couple losses on the way.
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So I am just beyond thrilled to actually like be able to be like
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I am a mom now and I have a little baby in the other room
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right now. Well, Well, I'm so sorry you had
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to go through any of that, but it is nice for people to hear
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that that happens. So much more than people.
7:59
Yeah. Talk about because, obviously,
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it's a hard subject to talk about and it's a hard subject to
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ask about because yeah, it's you never know how how open people
8:10
are or where they are in there. Like healing or any other
8:17
situation. So, so, I'm as terrible as it
8:22
is, it's good to at least mention it that it's like and
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yeah, yeah, it does happen all the time and it was really
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really hard for us and went through a lot of grief around
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those losses. And you know, we want to have
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another baby. And so that's a scary thing to
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think about. Going to do it again, but I know
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we can. So that makes me like, much more
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positive and hopeful and I just feel like I've been, I've been
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through a lot in the past few years, personally, and it's
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really made me realize, like, you know, you can hold space for
9:00
both Joy and grief at the same time and it's not always an easy
9:04
place to live from, but it's definitely possible.
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That's probably one of the craziest things about motherhood
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is the juxtaposition of Like joy and sadness and exhaustion and
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having all the feelings. All the feelings?
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Yeah. Totally.
9:23
Speaking of your your business of actors rise.
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How did that even how did that come about?
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And what what exactly does it all Encompass for you?
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Yeah so I am an actor and I wanted to do it differently when
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I moved to Los Angeles because when I was in New York and when
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I was younger, I really like tried really hard and I was well
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trained and I thought if I just keep doing good work, people
9:54
will eventually discover me and things are going to happen and
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that did not happen. I kind of fell on my face and
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not to say that I didn't do some good work and work with some
10:04
cool people and whatnot, but I never figured out how to get
10:07
representation. I never figured out how to start
10:10
going out for bigger auditions. That kind of Thing.
10:13
So, when I moved to Los Angeles, and I moved across the country,
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to be with my now, husband who I've known since seventh grade,
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which is a whole nother story my God that.
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Yeah. Right of all.
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It's it's embarrassing. But we love it.
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It's all good. He is a writer.
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Yeah. Aw gee a strike and my gosh.
10:36
Yeah. So he was out here already.
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And So eventually, he was my person and I was like, I'm gonna
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move out here. So When I got out here, he I had
10:46
its had stopped acting for a while.
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When I was in New York, even I was producing theater.
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And I really, I thought I was going to be a Broadway producer
10:52
for a whole while, and that was a whole nother thing, but he was
10:56
the one who was like, get back into an acting class, make
10:58
friends, so I did. And then I said, I want to do it
11:02
differently this time. So I used what I learned in
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producing and I was also working in commercial casting at that
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time. So I used that and also also
11:13
hired a career coach company and started working with them.
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And so I started to get some momentum.
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I like, got signed, I got, you know, Rob's I booked my first
11:22
co-star and whatnot and then that company that I was coaching
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under asked me to work for them. And I worked for them for a
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couple of years and it really gave me a lot of confidence in,
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you know, a time when I think, as actors we often think well, I
11:39
don't know enough yet, right? Like we're always thinking like
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who Am I to tell other people what to do?
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Right? Maybe you have that sometimes at
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the podcast you're like who am I to do a podcast or something
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like that? I don't mean to put words in
11:55
your mouth. No, I mean that's more of why I
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started it because I was like, I don't, I don't know what
12:01
everyone's doing and yeah work and they're so moms that I would
12:08
love to hear like how how you're doing Yeah, yeah.
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So to finally try to answer your question, how did actors rise
12:18
come about then? I realized I wanted to do things
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my way with the helping actors as well.
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And then the pandemic. It.
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So I was about to kind of go off on my own with this company and
12:30
the pandemic happened. And so I started a Weekly
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Newsletter with all kinds of like information for actors
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about, you know, what's going on there?
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All these casting director lives.
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I wanted to make sure people knew about Unemployment and, you
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know, I wanted to help moms who didn't have time to like look
12:48
through Instagram to be like this is when it's happening if
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you have time show up kind of thing.
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So I started that and from that it grew and you know it's ice
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since then I've have private coaching and I have small group
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coaching and then I have a membership as well for actors
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just trying to work with actors. I all different price points so
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that everybody is able to get support because I think a lot of
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the times, you know, the coaches charge like two thousand dollars
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and most people can't afford to do something like that.
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So I want to, you know, take care of all actors as much as I
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can. Yeah, that's I don't even
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understand how you had the have the bandwidth to because because
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I remember when your newsletter first came out and it would have
13:38
its did, and still does have so much information that I'm Like
13:44
how do you even get all that information and that it comes
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out. So frequently to be like how did
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you not get overwhelmed with like doing God I'm like
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hopefully I think you have some help now but I assume you did it
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at the beginning. Yeah.
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In the beginning, I was at my kitchen table alone by myself
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but honestly there's nothing else going on in my life.
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It was like in the heart of the pandemic.
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And I felt like, I just wanted to help people because I was a
14:16
coach, people were already coming to me with a bunch of
14:19
different questions and I volunteer for sag-aftra.
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So, I had more information there, and then I have a lot of
14:24
other coach friends, who had information about things that
14:27
we're going on. And I just, I'm kind of, like,
14:30
the person in my friend group, that, like people ask, like,
14:33
recommendations for. So, it's just felt felt, right?
14:36
I just wanted to help my friend, the actors and I literally send
14:40
it to like 25 people at first. But yeah, dancer depression, I
14:44
mean I was working too much, too hard.
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I was sending it five days a week.
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I basically burned out doing it eventually.
14:52
So do I recommend it to others? No, you did it.
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So we don't have to. Yeah, but I pulled back as
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things changed. I started sending it three times
15:03
a week and then now it's just sent one time a week and I have
15:05
an incredible assistant who's so much more than an assistant who
15:09
helps me build it every week. So it makes it much more doable.
15:13
Yeah. It's so it's very impressive.
15:16
Yeah. Not and it was very speaking
15:20
personally, it was very helpful during the pandemic because I am
15:24
I'm the type who would get overwhelmed of like where do I
15:28
find these? And I'm just going to write when
15:31
the workshops are in my notebook and then I'm gonna forget.
15:35
So it was very helpful to have it so much information and like
15:43
In one place. But yeah, I mean, that was the
15:46
point. I just wanted to like help
15:48
people in a way that I thought I could maybe and I wasn't sure if
15:53
it would, you know, I literally sent it to my friends at first
15:56
and part of it was me selfishly being like stop texting me.
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Like here's all the info and one place.
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Are you gonna leave me alone? Well how was your Your pregnancy
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and when because you because I mean you're very newly.
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Not? Yeah.
16:18
And that was I mean still during I mean we're guess we're still
16:24
in the pandemic. Who knows all?
16:26
But um but how was how was that and still still being able to
16:35
work? And how were you able?
16:38
Well, we'll just start. With that.
16:40
Yeah. Being pregnant and working.
16:44
And yeah, it's a tough question to answer in a way because my,
16:49
the rest of my personal life is so it was so my mom died when I
16:53
was pregnant so that that was devastating to say the least.
17:00
So, this whole time has been a journey of me, becoming a mom
17:05
while losing my mom. And on top of that, my
17:07
father-in-law died. So My husband lost.
17:10
His dad will becoming a dad. Oh my God.
17:14
So when I say, I know about joy and grief at the same time, it's
17:18
up fucking with you. I don't know if I can swear on
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here. Sorry, absolutely.
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That is, oh my God. So I can't really like separate
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my pregnancy from that because they're just so intertwined.
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We also had a really bad scare with our pregnancy like really
17:35
early on where they told us our baby wasn't developing a brain.
17:39
So we thought we were going to have to terminate the pregnancy,
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which was, you know, really, really awful and scary and you
17:48
know, the baby would not have survived.
17:50
If that was Keith, he's totally fine.
17:52
They were wrong. But it was an awful.
17:53
Two weeks of like this, they told us, like, 75% chance.
17:58
This is going. This is happening.
18:00
Basically, should so that happened.
18:03
Then my mom died, the my father-in-law died.
18:04
So like my pregnancy sucked like it.
18:07
What's up? Sounds like the worst.
18:11
It was awful. Yeah.
18:13
In terms of physically, honestly, it wasn't that bad.
18:17
I didn't have a lot of nausea morning sickness, I had really
18:20
bad back pain in the third trimester and like I highly
18:23
recommend. If you can afford prenatal,
18:25
massage has go get them. I needed them for my body, my
18:31
soul everything. But yeah, so my journey has been
18:37
so unique. Eek and I, you know, don't wish
18:42
it on anyone but the joy is that we do have this beautiful baby
18:47
now and my husband and I always joke always like no pressure
18:50
dude, just like make everyone happy now.
18:52
Yeah, no, presh. Oh my god.
18:58
Wow, yeah. That one I would imagine not
19:02
being able to I I can't add. That's wild that they can be
19:09
safe. 75% and then be just wrong.
19:13
Yeah, they just were wrong and it has I mean that kind of
19:15
stuff. Also happens to people all the
19:17
time. And I would say like get this
19:20
podcast is not like I'm not trying to scare people in any
19:23
way either by sharing this stuff but like, ask for a second
19:26
opinion, you know, and I had a great doctor and he's such an
19:32
expert at what he does. And he, you know, it really
19:35
looked like that's what it was from everything that he was
19:38
seeing it just Just was awful to go through that experience.
19:41
So yeah well I hope you had therapy yes well therapy.
19:47
Yes of course, everyone should be in therapy for whom
19:50
regardless of trauma. But yes I hope that is helpful
19:56
for you also but hopefully you have you were able to have like
20:00
an easy birth or labor. I hope I mean that's I also feel
20:06
like that's a traumatic situation.
20:09
Our list of the yeah, always easily.
20:12
And yeah, I think that's were lacking in the truth-telling of
20:20
pregnancy and giving birth were like you said it's like you
20:24
don't want to scare someone but also like you don't want people
20:29
to think like hey it's it's going to be easy.
20:32
People have been doing this for millions of years.
20:34
They had intense like, right, it's like, yeah.
20:39
But it's still a huge thing to go through.
20:44
It's not, I agree completely. And it's funny that you say that
20:47
I'm I just started a podcast of my own that is not
20:50
industry-related, but it's with my childhood best friend and
20:53
were, you know, reminiscing reconnecting and talking about
20:56
like what it means to be women today.
20:58
It's called call you later pod. We haven't launched it yet, but
21:01
we were talking today about, you know, me coming back after
21:06
having a baby and both of us had C-sections.
21:09
It's and both of them were not planned.
21:12
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
21:14
I heard that you had one when I listen to one of the other
21:17
episodes and like and I have to say, I always thought my whole
21:21
life. I was like, I don't think I'll
21:23
be able to emotionally handle it.
21:25
If I have a C-section, like, I think that's going to mess with
21:28
me. I always thought, like, I really
21:30
want to have my child vaginally and have it, you know, get all
21:35
the things that needs and I just want that experience.
21:38
And I had one and physically it did bother me but emotionally
21:44
I've been fine and I don't know if it's just because I was going
21:47
through so much other shit and like that, like it didn't matter
21:51
he was here and I was like thrilled.
21:53
But yeah it's physically really it's a lot.
21:57
It's extreme and it's scary. Yeah I definitely I had not even
22:05
thought about C-sections. I guess I plan was just like
22:09
Get. I mean I was hoping for vaginal
22:13
but I was our plan was get her out safely.
22:16
Exactly. But and one of the classes we
22:21
took it was like, well, planned C-sections are this percentage
22:27
and then but emergency unplanned, C-sections are 1%.
22:33
Wow. And I was like, oh, alright, I
22:36
won't even think about it then. Oh no.
22:39
No, no many people have were like, yeah, it was an emergency
22:43
C-section and I'm like my calculation.
22:47
You not add up to one percent it's like yeah.
22:54
Be I feel like it's I hear that more often.
22:58
I feel like I've been hearing it a lot too.
23:00
So it's interesting that you say that I think they've kind of
23:03
there's been like a normalization of C-sections
23:06
being like, Oh, it's just the other option kind of is as
23:09
instead of like it is major surgery and it does happen a lot
23:13
and it you shouldn't take it lightly, but of course do it.
23:15
If you need to in order to like have your baby safely and I was
23:20
totally game to do it because I knew it wasn't it was not Going
23:23
to progress, he hit, he had the cord wrapped around his neck,
23:27
which we obviously didn't know at the time but like we could
23:29
tell his heart rate kept the accelerating and so we needed to
23:32
do something. My husband was not as cool and
23:35
calm as Iowa, how long it than it.
23:40
So you didn't know until you were in labor that.
23:43
Yeah, into the C-section. Yeah.
23:46
Which Was there. Cuz I'm so interested now
23:51
because I have a very similar story, was there a lot of time
23:56
or anytime between like his heart rates going down and
24:02
you're going in for C-section. Yeah.
24:04
I mean there were some time, although, to be honest I don't
24:07
really have a concept of how much time it was.
24:10
I mean, like I was laboring at home all weekend because I knew
24:14
and I knew I was so I went to the hospital Friday night.
24:17
Thought that I Was going to have the baby, but the contraction.
24:19
Like I wasn't dilated enough, they sent me home.
24:21
I labored all weekend, they went in Sunday, morning to be induced
24:24
because of my age and everything they wanted to induce me.
24:28
And so I guess I was there from like maybe 10 a.m. to like think
24:33
maybe around. I mean he was delivered at.
24:36
I can't. Oh my gosh, I can't remember
24:37
what time this is. So embarrassing.
24:41
No it's not. I mean, who cares?
24:44
What I think it was like it was 7:18 p.m.
24:49
I think. So it was later and I think we
24:51
made the call around, maybe like 5:30 or something like that to
24:55
do it. So I hadn't started pushing or
24:58
anything because they couldn't get his heart rate.
25:01
Like stable enough for me to be able to push, he would it just
25:05
kept going down. So I was like, if I can't even
25:09
lay here there's no way he's gonna survive me pushing like,
25:13
let's just do this thing and do the C-section.
25:16
Yeah. Oh man.
25:18
Man. Yeah, I was I was also induced
25:21
for other so we had very similar.
25:23
It's yeah, it's it's a rough recovery.
25:28
Yeah. Did you have help?
25:29
Did you have family with you? My parents came in town.
25:33
Yeah. Like a few days.
25:35
Like since I was being induced to, they came like two days
25:40
before I was induced I think. And then they were here for like
25:44
two weeks. And then my mom stayed an extra
25:46
another two weeks. Yeah.
25:48
Yeah, having helped is so important.
25:51
I my mother-in-law was here and she's a nurse.
25:53
So that was really great and she's just like calm and loving
25:58
and was so happy to just like, hold the baby.
26:00
And I let it, let me do things and then one of my aunts came
26:05
in, then another aunt came and like, thank God because just
26:08
like need that support and I was extra emotional because, you
26:12
know, it's just such a crazy thing like you, it's the biggest
26:16
thing that it's ever happened. In your life and you want your
26:19
mom to be there. My mom and I were so so close.
26:21
So like it was almost like, she almost like she died again the
26:26
the week that he was born just because the grief came back.
26:28
So intensely, I didn't have like normal postpartum like I at all
26:34
but it was like the grief was just there because I just wanted
26:37
my mom to be there for him and to be there for me during that
26:41
time. So it was hard and I assume
26:46
that, that, that that That was unexpected.
26:50
Yeah, yeah. I mean she'd had health issues
26:53
for years but it was very unexpected.
26:56
It was like fly across the country and she died in 24
27:00
hours. So, yeah.
27:01
Oh man. Once he was here how besides
27:07
like having the family help and once you were I guess a little
27:15
physically recovered. I feel like you're probably
27:19
still in it. You're still very like it's
27:22
still. So I'm honestly I don't know.
27:25
I've been like working out. I've been doing all the things
27:28
that I can. I I I really need adult
27:33
stimulation and communication and I, I'm so so, so love being
27:38
a mom. But I also my brain even like,
27:41
walking him early on in the stroller, even in my Hospital.
27:43
A time like composing emails were actors rise, like, just in,
27:46
you know, who knows? I thought they were brilliant at
27:49
the time, they were probably like, the dumbest thing ever.
27:51
Like I don't know what I was thinking II do like that.
27:55
You bring that up, that regard, obviously enjoying motherhood,
28:00
but you still want to do other things a life.
28:04
Yeah, yeah. Mom.
28:08
Like even, I was so impressed that well, because I saw that
28:13
your But you still have like things being posted and stuff
28:17
and I was like did she have this like already scheduled?
28:22
How is she doing this? And then, even just last week or
28:28
maybe it was a couple days ago, I don't know.
28:32
I saw that you had like on to Audrey Audrey Moore's thing and
28:36
I was like, yeah. Oh shoot, I wanted to go to
28:39
that. That I forgot.
28:42
And then I was like Like kind of upset about it.
28:44
And my husband was like you have a baby blah blah blah.
28:47
And I was like, but she went and her baby, isn't?
28:51
Yeah, no no. Like like so impressed.
28:54
I mean that's my own issues, but I was like so impressed that
29:01
you're like, doing things that, you know, that you need for
29:07
yourself. And I think that that's so
29:10
important and that being How did you, how are you able to, like,
29:19
do know that you need things and be able to be like, this is
29:23
something I have to do? Well, thanks for saying that, I
29:27
mean, I am glad it looks like I have everything together.
29:31
I definitely am running around like, right before this
29:34
interview, I was like running around the house and I was like,
29:36
I gotta pump right before this interview because otherwise my
29:39
boobs are going to hurt and I need to pump right now before
29:41
and then I was like, wait, we have milk in the fridge.
29:44
I don't need to pump right now. My boobs are gonna be fine.
29:46
It's okay, like chill out your fine.
29:48
So yes, the mom neuroses is still there but yeah, I mean I,
29:56
I know myself in the type of person that I am and I need
29:59
socialization, I need adult connection.
30:02
I need to talk to people in person but I also have hope like
30:08
I have an assistant for my business and I hired her before
30:11
I was ready because I knew If I did, I would be able to do more
30:16
for my business and more for myself and it was so worth it
30:19
and you know we have a nanny who's watching my baby right
30:22
now. Who's absolutely incredible and
30:24
she just only your 15 hours a week.
30:26
But those 15 hours give me so much freedom to to do other
30:31
things. And my husband also we both, you
30:35
know, have very flexible work for ourselves jobs.
30:37
He's a writer and a headshot photographer.
30:40
So we're able to trade off a lot like, you know, Sunday morning,
30:44
he's going to go golfing. So I have the baby and then
30:46
Sunday afternoon, like I get to go to a Pure Barre class with my
30:50
girlfriend so it's just, like, figuring out that balance, but I
30:55
also feel like I just like, it was in the, the suck of life
31:00
that so badly. This past year that I'm just
31:03
ready to like follow my joy as much as possible.
31:07
And so I'm just trying to do that whenever I can.
31:12
Yeah, I bet the well I Glad that you're you're able to do that
31:16
and have the help that you need. Thank ya.
31:21
How long did it take? You were there other jobs that
31:24
you had before you are able to because I assume that actors
31:28
rise, is your main gig? Yeah, it's my job.
31:34
I would imagine that doesn't leave space for or need for like
31:40
A different day job. So how did that progress for
31:45
you? Where did you just like decide
31:48
to or did you have other day jobs?
31:50
I guess, you said you were with that other.
31:52
Yeah, I mean I've had so many jobs over the years.
31:56
Like I, you know, I waited tables since I was 15 like when
32:00
I lived in New York, I worked at like waiting tables and
32:04
nightclubs and I worked for a producer and I work for downtown
32:06
theater Festival and I like did all of it at the same time and
32:11
Out here, I worked at a bar studio for a little while as
32:13
like a front desk person and I worked in commercial casting.
32:16
So I've like had a million jobs as most actors.
32:19
Do I've been a nanny. You know, I know you've been a
32:22
nanny before to. Yeah.
32:27
It's but I mean it was so so interesting, the timing of it
32:32
all that, like everything shut down.
32:34
So I couldn't really do anything else during the pandemic when I
32:37
was growing actors rise, like early.
32:40
On at least, there was nothing else.
32:42
I thought that I could do and I already had some private clients
32:47
through that. And I started working with like
32:51
a business coach on how to grow my business.
32:55
Like, well, and that kind of thing that I didn't do that
32:59
right away because I didn't even the newsletter, kind of, I
33:04
always knew it would help with marketing for my coaching.
33:06
But it wasn't like that was the reason why I started the
33:08
newsletter. If that makes sense.
33:10
But But they just fed each other so beautifully, that that kind
33:14
of worked out. And again, I was just doing
33:17
things before I totally thought I was ready to do them, you
33:19
know? I was like okay I'm going to try
33:22
a small group, let's see how this goes and you have to kind
33:27
of like take that leap at some point to do the thing and
33:30
eventually raise your prices. And it's scary.
33:33
But you do it and, you know, being a parent you Got to work.
33:41
You sure. Yeah.
33:44
So what is your what is your coaching look like?
33:48
Is that like a career coaching or like specific?
33:52
Like audition coaching, or is it a little bit of everything?
33:56
Yeah. No.
33:56
It's definitely more focused on the career.
33:58
I would say like I helped actors get unstuck so that they can
34:01
stop stressing and they can start booking the work.
34:04
So whether that's like I am unhappy My representation.
34:09
How do I get new representation or whether that's like,
34:13
sometimes people just come to me in there.
34:14
Just like, I literally just don't know what's wrong with my
34:16
career. I have this rap.
34:18
I have I've booked some things but like can you just like look
34:20
at everything for me and just I'll be like oh while you have
34:24
all these connections but when was the last time you contacted
34:26
them and how can we contact them and how can we use, you know,
34:29
social media and how do you write this email and and like I
34:34
need you later. About that.
34:38
But the sound of yeah, it's I mean the thing is we all get in
34:43
our own ways all the time. And so some of it is mindset
34:46
work and just realizing like, oh, you're actually just scared
34:49
to do this thing, but a lot of it is strategy and oh, I didn't
34:53
even know I was allowed to do this thing.
34:55
Oh, and you're giving me permission to email a casting
34:58
director and I can act like a human being doing that and oh, I
35:02
can like DM them on social media, you know, don't do it all
35:05
the time or how do I, how do I meet?
35:08
Writers, how do I meet producers and directors and how what the
35:10
hell is networking? Like I hate that word but you
35:13
know me too. I have such a phobia of
35:16
networking but it's creating relationships and that's what
35:19
you're doing with this podcast. You're creating relationships
35:21
like now, you and I know each other.
35:23
Now you're in my network right? And now if you email me I was
35:27
like Jenna. Hey I need this I'm going to be
35:29
like ooh how can I help her? You know, so after how did you
35:34
decide to take a certain amount? Amount of like, give yourself a
35:39
maternity leave since. Yeah, yeah yeah.
35:43
I didn't like the past year and a half.
35:46
I've been working to set my business up so that I could
35:49
become a mom and that I could do it in a way that, you know, was
35:53
doable for me. So a lot of this has been
35:56
setting myself up, so I have a more flexible schedule.
35:58
So I can choose how many clients do I want.
36:02
So, I stopped private coaching for, you know, some three months
36:07
basically. Um, and I just had my man.
36:10
I eventually stopped my small group coaching, and then I just
36:13
have had my membership going on. And I had some incredible
36:18
special guests come in and talk to my members.
36:20
And I had some, I brought in some Community leaders to kind
36:24
of like, help things along. I still was like, in there a
36:28
little bit, but not the first two weeks.
36:31
I said to my assistant, I was like, don't contact me unless
36:34
like the house is on fire, like I don't want to hear anything.
36:38
And when you say, like, how was I posting that stuff?
36:40
I wasn't, I'm not most of the time it's all about figuring
36:43
out, like, how can you repurpose your content?
36:45
So like we took old blogs that I wrote and then put them in the
36:49
newsletter. And then to tell you a poles,
36:51
that's my incredible. She's not she's so much more
36:53
than an assistant, but I need to get her a better title, but she
36:58
pulls, you know, something that I said that she thinks is
37:02
interesting or will resonate with people and then she'll make
37:04
that in just a social media post.
37:07
So, I'm starting to show up again myself in social media now
37:11
but it's still she does a lot of that already.
37:15
So well I'm sure that that's super helpful and things that
37:19
they are able to focus on the things that you need to.
37:24
You have that are more important that you're doing them Hands-On.
37:29
Exactly. Like the actual coaching is
37:31
important or or asking a guest to come into the community like
37:34
that stuff usually comes from me.
37:36
Yeah, so then I guess You have worked as you said, you took
37:42
like the two weeks of don't contact via.
37:44
Yeah, I don't know if you have this experience of people being
37:51
like, how did you go back? Like or why are you only taking
37:56
this much time? How are you already going back
38:00
to work? Because I know that I had that
38:02
when I went back to work and people are like, oh my God, you
38:06
should, you should be at home. With you and I'm like are you
38:09
gonna pay my bills? Wait like what?
38:13
And it's I get where people are coming from because I'm sure,
38:16
I'm sure I say it all the time or it's like, oh, why are you
38:20
already doing stuff? And it's like, you have to, but
38:25
have you had to deal with any of that or is it?
38:29
You know, I actually have had the flip experience in a way and
38:32
I totally can see that happening and I'm sure probably when I go
38:35
home to Rhode Island and I'm like with Some of my, like
38:38
family and my mom's friends and stuff, they're going to be like
38:41
oh like why are you working so much Mama?
38:43
But I've had the flip experience where actors have.
38:49
I mean this was so much love and I love actors but like they have
38:52
zero kind of like, respect for the fact that I'm on maternity
38:55
leave. And they're like, these are not
38:58
clients of mine. Also, and some, our clients to,
39:01
but like, I've been like, blatantly like, I'm on maternity
39:04
leave Private clients like, if you have a question, this is
39:06
where you need to put it in the Community portal and they're
39:09
still like, emailing me. And I'm like, what part of I'm
39:12
on maternity. Leave is not, you know, or like
39:15
somebody. I've never met before is like,
39:17
dming me on Instagram, really congrats on your baby also, can
39:20
you tell me how to like get at Atlanta agent and what to do and
39:23
did it? And I'm like uh no like for me
39:28
my pod, What I have, I will say I did another podcast before
39:35
this one. This is actually my second
39:36
podcast back and the first one like I've boundaries for myself
39:40
now which is something that I didn't used to have four years
39:43
because I'm such a, I was such a people pleaser, like I would
39:46
bend over backwards for anyone and I think as a mom even more.
39:51
So now I'm like, I have to stick to these boundaries and there to
39:55
help me, my baby, my husband, everyone function better and
39:59
quite honestly. It's also going to help that
40:01
person who's asking me the question because either they're
40:05
going to know. I can't answer it right now.
40:06
Go find the answer somewhere else or they're going to get
40:10
like they're going to get a better response from me when I
40:12
actually am able to be 100% present with them and have that
40:17
time you know. So I have no idea where I was
40:21
going with us. But yeah.
40:27
Oh I said so that other person reached out about this podcast
40:30
and I was like, I'd love to do it but it needs to be in at
40:34
least eight weeks. And so we put something on the
40:36
calendar and I said, and if I'm not feeling up to it by, then
40:39
I'm going to have to reschedule is that cool and they're like,
40:41
totally cool. We got it.
40:43
So, you know, having boundaries I think is important.
40:47
Yeah, I feel like it's hard. It's hard for most people to set
40:52
those boundaries. Because I'm similar to you or
40:56
it's like I'm learning like I am a people pleaser and would like
41:00
to say yes, yes, yes to everything.
41:03
But to have those boundaries, like, when it comes to work, I'm
41:08
very like, I'm I only work when I'm at work.
41:12
I'm not going to yeah, do this other stuff.
41:14
But I kind of assume that other people are similar.
41:19
So if I send an email or something I assumed like If they
41:24
don't if they don't have the capacity or whatever that they
41:29
write, don't think is necessarily true.
41:34
So it is nice to be on the opposite side.
41:38
Now out especially after having a baby.
41:41
If somebody is to post or save like maternity leave, I'm still
41:47
very like, okay, well whenever you're ready but then people,
41:52
yeah, it is hard. Buddy's ready at a different
41:54
point? I think, and your but you're
41:56
right, like, you have to think that people are going to
41:58
advocate for themselves because that's their job.
42:01
That's not your job to like no for them what their thing is.
42:06
But if I think, if they say, I'm on maternity leave, that means
42:09
they're not working. Like yeah.
42:13
Yeah. So you said, you're hoping you
42:15
would like to have another yeah, II like interrogated.
42:19
My doctor, like, right away on my first appointment.
42:22
I'm like, so when we start trying again, He was like, whoa,
42:24
Keller really? Are you like, you're like, let's
42:27
get it. How about we had those losses?
42:31
So I'm like thick. I know that they could happen
42:32
again. Also, I'm not a spring chicken.
42:36
I might look young but I'm 37. So, you know, the older you get,
42:42
but I mean that being said, I also really want to enjoy
42:45
Kingston and I don't want to rush it too much, and I know
42:50
post C-section, you can't always have a baby right away.
42:53
Is he in your room? Is he sleeping through the night
42:58
yet? Wait, huh?
42:59
No, definitely not. Okay, it's unlike yours is,
43:03
you're sleeping through the night to tell me that's a
43:04
possible thing that happens. I will say.
43:08
So he's what? Almost three months.
43:10
Yeah, almost there - yeah, it's so valve.
43:14
I was so bad at the weeks at some point.
43:17
I was like, oh, it's this many weeks but then somebody was
43:21
like, well, she's three months and then there's Point that like
43:24
weeks and months don't add up enough and you're like, oh,
43:27
right it's the same thing of when you were actually pregnant
43:30
for 10 months and they say like how is it tricky little fuck out
43:36
of that worked really well to let you be hopeful.
43:42
Should we, I think did the sleep training at like three or four
43:46
months. Okay, okay.
43:48
Oh, we lucked out. She was very good.
43:52
We did the The Ferber method. Okay, it's just like the, it's
43:57
not cry it out, but it's what a soothing.
44:00
Yeah, come up. But that was only like two
44:03
nights and wow. And she's right.
44:07
Her name is Mei. Is that right?
44:08
I'm making that nice. Yeah, her name is Marion.
44:11
Marion grandmother. Yeah, that's so sweet.
44:14
I love that. It's usually like nine months
44:17
now. How old is she the 11 months
44:19
next week? Oh my goodness, wow.
44:22
So Freaking. Wow.
44:25
Because I listened to your first episode in the funny thing is,
44:28
is you did your first episode at about the same exact time as I'm
44:31
at right now. So I could relate to some of the
44:34
questions that you were asking and stuff and to tie it back
44:37
into sleep. You had Hannah Hines on and she
44:40
recommended this new and we one of my best friend's was gifted
44:45
this new by her husband's boss and now she is letting us borrow
44:49
it and it is amazing. Highly recommend.
44:55
It's great. Yeah.
44:57
If if you've never seen a baby, have you seen a baby in a snow
45:01
before? I got seen it.
45:02
I've only seen pictures of it online.
45:05
You need to watch a video because it is the funniest thing
45:08
ever. The kids like, no murmur wrap
45:12
them in. Yes.
45:13
Yes. You feel like you're like,
45:14
putting them in a little baby straitjacket and you're like.
45:17
Sorry, sorry, baby. But they like it.
45:19
So it's fine. Do you like cozied?
45:23
Yeah. Yeah, but I'm getting some sleep
45:25
too. I think answer your question.
45:27
It's not that bad. He's a pretty good sleeper for
45:29
the most part. Yeah, good.
45:31
Yeah, I will. There is hope.
45:35
Yeah, yeah, right. We're still early waking up for
45:38
like the three am feed, you know?
45:40
And it's like we did give him a dream feed at 10:00 p.m., he
45:44
wakes up around 3:00 and then he wakes up around five or six,
45:48
it's not the best, it's not the worst, we're surviving, you said
45:51
that you're pumping, are you nurse?
45:53
Nursing and pumping our yes, yeah, yeah.
45:57
I mean, I was exclusively pumping which, like, if anybody
46:01
listening is an exclusive pumper like my God, you are an amazing
46:04
human being, because I did that for about five weeks because he
46:07
would not latch, I had all these lactation therapy consult, and
46:11
it was, but at 5 weeks in, he latched.
46:14
Now he's a champ but it, it took some work instead of the never
46:21
that was that was honestly harder for me.
46:23
Think like the breastfeeding transition thing was harder than
46:27
a lot of things were with like the birth and everything because
46:31
you want to make sure your baby is getting enough to eat but you
46:33
want to make sure that they're learning.
46:34
But you want to make sure that you know, all the things and
46:38
then there's always regardless of because I was very, I'm
46:44
still, very whatever however you can feed your baby totally.
46:48
It doesn't matter but but even being Being in that headspace of
46:55
like, however, she's fed is great but it goes back to the
47:01
same. Like, however, she's born is
47:03
great and then you're like, but I wanted it to be this way.
47:07
It's like, sometimes you don't know that you have expectations
47:13
or yeah or things happen. That's such a good point.
47:17
Like that's such a good point because I mean I and I knew I
47:20
wanted to breastfeed and I knew I wanted to not have a
47:23
C-section. And like, you know, but the way
47:26
that you attach to these like identities of how it's going to
47:30
be, even though, you know, in your head like as long as the
47:32
baby's fell in love, just like they're good, you know, at least
47:35
that's what I that's what I believe.
47:37
Yeah. And within it is I feel like we
47:41
should be able to have our Emotions around that because
47:47
even saying, if you're not able to breastfeed, that's fine, but
47:51
then someone else telling you, if you're formula-feeding and
47:56
then they're like, well, that's great.
47:58
But you know, fed baby is best or whatever is sometimes.
48:02
It's even I don't want to say annoying because you're like,
48:09
yeah but I'm still upset about like, yeah.
48:12
You're you're allowed to have your feelings around it, 100%
48:16
like we're so happy that you know, babies here and baby's
48:20
healthy. That being said, like, yeah, I
48:24
didn't necessarily want a C-section and that like can I
48:29
can still, we can still feel shitty about it, but yes.
48:34
Yeah. So you are so your nursing and
48:39
pumping that is exhausting, it can be.
48:44
I mean, it's not, it's not the worst, you know?
48:47
And the fact that I work from home, makes it so much easier
48:50
because it's not that big of a deal.
48:54
I think, if I was going into an office or something that I just,
48:57
I have so much respect for moms who are like having to pump at
49:02
the office and like, figure that out because there's not a lot of
49:06
support. Matt, and I can, I can
49:08
reschedule a call if I need to. If something is weird, you know
49:11
what I mean? I'm My Own Boss, and that's a
49:12
beautiful thing. It's also an intense thing
49:15
because you're like, oh, I gotta keep my clients and I gotta make
49:17
things work. But there's like a lot of great
49:20
things that come along with it in terms of the flexibility.
49:24
Yeah, that's, that's so good. That you.
49:27
I feel like you have such a good.
49:29
You have such a good take, like you seem.
49:32
So very got it together. Either with I know you said you
49:39
you don't but yeah I mean I think I'm doing a good job.
49:43
I won't lie like I think you're doing a good job and I think
49:46
it's like good to be able to say that and celebrate that because
49:49
I think a lot of the time we hear about moms beating
49:51
themselves up all the time and like I definitely have Mom guilt
49:54
occasionally and stuff like we the nanny's new and like she's
49:58
incredible and she talks to him and he'll talk back to her.
50:01
And I hear it when I'm working. And I'm like, you're creating a
50:04
bond with her and not me like you're talking to Her and not me
50:07
and I'm like, but that's good because he's getting great
50:11
stimulation and he's learning, you know, but all the feelings
50:15
are there. But thank you for saying I guess
50:18
again. Like I think I've just like been
50:20
through so much that like these things, not that they're not.
50:26
I'm just like, I've been through so much therapy at this point
50:29
that it's like, and long before my mom died, like she had a lot
50:35
of health issues. She had stroke She had
50:36
Parkinson's like other family stuff and I'm, it was just the
50:41
two of us. I'm an only child, and it was
50:43
just her. And I so like, I think I've
50:47
because also I was an only child and stuff.
50:49
I was like a little bit more mature than other kids and hang
50:52
out with adults and having to figure it out.
50:55
So I don't know, I'm just trying to trust my life right now and
51:02
I'm sure all of that has really like also put so much Which in
51:07
perspective? Yes, for sure.
51:10
Or I assume don't sweat the small stuff as much as you know.
51:16
Yeah, it's it's not worth it and that's not to say that like, I
51:20
didn't have moments, you know, where especially early on.
51:24
I was like, spiraling, with anxiety of like, is he alive
51:28
like what's going on? Yeah, like staying up, way too
51:32
late on my phone looking things up because I you know, this how
51:36
And moms do it been dad's before Google.
51:38
Like I don't understand like how that actually worked.
51:44
I know he's crazy to think about when, you know, when people of
51:50
like an older generation will say like, whoa, you know, you
51:54
survived and we had you and body blah without all this stuff and
51:59
you're like yeah but I don't know how.
52:01
Yeah and I have to say there's a lot of stuff that you can buy
52:06
for Your kid. My God is, like, never-ending
52:10
like, I don't know. There's a lot.
52:15
I will ya. Scrolling egg?
52:18
Mazon is never a? Never a good idea.
52:22
Oh, you want to hear something funny.
52:24
That's, that's one thing that I did.
52:25
While I was on maternity leave, I made an Amazon store front and
52:29
I have all. Not the intention was to do self
52:32
tape Rex for actors books, for actors, which is coming, but no,
52:36
I did. Pregnancy recommendations and
52:38
baby recommendation. So I have an Amazon store for
52:41
that. That's very helpful though.
52:45
That would because also we don't know, you know, you want to know
52:52
what things are actually going to be helpful and what things
52:54
you actually need because even because I Live friends and I'll
52:58
look at there. registry, I just three and I'm like Okay.
53:03
Well, I mean, I'm not gonna tell you what you need or want to
53:08
waste of money, but you're so funny.
53:12
One of my friends did ask was like, will you look at my Red
53:18
Sea and I was like, okay, you're going to need more of these less
53:21
of these but then also every baby is different.
53:23
So every totally but I did this, I had to one of my best friends
53:27
who is she just had her third baby.
53:29
She came over and looked at my registry and I was like, this is
53:32
gonna Would be an A-Plus registry now but then we came to
53:35
find out like she had had her first two kids kind of a while
53:39
ago and then had her other. And so she didn't know about
53:42
some of the cool new things that were on the market because she
53:44
wasn't registering for them. So then I had to talk to my
53:47
other best friend who just had a baby and I've been very lucky
53:50
that like I had the two of them during this time because we're
53:53
like in a text throughout and talk every single day about
53:56
what's going on. And I think if you're a parent
53:59
and you don't have that kind of like immediate support of People
54:02
going through it. It's got to feel really, really
54:05
lonely sometimes. So I will say like, reach out
54:08
and get like, get a group like meet other moms or dads somehow
54:13
because I think it's so important to have that like
54:16
immediate support if you can sure, absolutely.
54:20
It's even even having those It's like because sometimes people
54:26
will be Like afraid to reach out if you don't know people.
54:31
Well yeah I think you just have to start some.
54:36
Yeah like just just you and I think people enjoy being asked
54:41
for, help more than yeah. Or just like recommendations.
54:45
Maybe not like babysit for me, but right.
54:48
Right, but no, but especially if you're like, vulnerable on
54:51
you're like, hey, I'm like, struggling with this thing.
54:54
I don't like, what worked for you or do you know somebody who
54:57
I could? Part 2 about about X y&z.
55:00
I mean, I tell my clients that with industry stuff all the time
55:03
too. It's like if you, you know, are
55:05
kind to someone else and you say, you know, I'm asking you
55:07
because I respect you because or something, you know, and even
55:12
when I was complaining earlier about people, reaching out and
55:14
asking me questions some, I answered some of them even
55:17
though I said, I have like great boundaries and some of it was
55:20
really enjoyable for me to like use that side of my brain during
55:23
that time. So yeah, you know, none of us
55:27
are perfect. Fact, it's all give-and-take.
55:30
You're just doing Well, I won't keep you much longer, but my
55:38
last question that I like to ask is, what has been your Lifesaver
55:42
at the moment, like, a baby product since we've been talking
55:46
about that or just like a saying or therapy, you know, all the, I
55:54
mean, I will say I agree with Hannah Hines.
55:56
This new in therapy, I totally support 100%.
56:01
I want to share I. So We because my mom passed.
56:07
I now have a condo in Rhode Island that we are, you know,
56:11
going to go home to some and I was there for Christmas and
56:14
needed to like outfit his room there with like some things, but
56:18
we don't live there. So I was like how can I like get
56:21
him stuff without spending any money?
56:24
And so a, I asked people like my friends from home and I used the
56:29
by nothing Facebook group in my hometown.
56:32
If you are not Using a buy nothing, Facebook group, you're
56:35
missing out. And like in l.a., there's like
56:37
Mom's helping moms and all these other groups there, you can get
56:41
so much stuff. I got basically everything,
56:44
like, everything he needed for his room.
56:46
I'm talking like, crib, baby bathtub.
56:49
Like trash can, like, all this stuff.
56:52
But for between friends by nothing, Facebook groups and
56:56
Facebook Marketplace for $70, like $70 like so much stuff.
57:01
I can't close like So much stuff.
57:05
So, I would say use those resources and I also have to
57:11
share product wise, like, you gotta get the baby nosefrida.
57:13
If you don't have that, that's like a must getting all that
57:17
snot out of your baby's nose. Yeah, that's true.
57:23
The way the Suk won or seok won the suck one.
57:28
We what's the other one? There's an electric one.
57:31
Oh, do I need that? I haven't, I've been lucky.
57:36
She hasn't really had snotty noses.
57:39
It's coming. I know I just cursed myself but
57:42
we're jinxed myself. Yeah, it's an electric.
57:46
I think it's Frida. Also.
57:48
Yeah. Okay, electric.
57:50
So you just, it just does it so you don't have to, he has
57:54
congestion right now. We have message the pediatrician
57:57
this morning. Being like what do we do?
57:58
She's like, you know, you know, suck the notes, still suck the
58:02
snot out yourself and Take him in the bathroom, in the shower,
58:05
not in the shower. But like with the Steam, for 15
58:08
minutes and run a humidifier and I was already doing the
58:11
humidifier, so I hope he gets better.
58:14
He will, he will. Well see what we're garlis.
58:19
It's not fun now but he's okay. He's gonna be fine.
58:23
So yeah. Cute too.
58:26
So keep posting pictures. Thank you.
58:29
We joke. We're like, we're like top 10
58:31
cutest babies ever said every It always.
58:34
But yeah, but and given I know that parents have have blinders
58:41
when it comes to their own babies.
58:42
Everyone thinks their own baby is the cutest but you do have a
58:45
very cute baby. Thank you.
58:47
I think so too. He's really cute gonna go check
58:50
it out. It's been you don't have to be
58:52
like it's a cute baby. Thank you so much for.
59:02
Thanks for asking. I'm me when you asked me.
59:04
I was like she knows I just had a baby.
59:06
So I'm not going to have any advice for her.
59:09
Oh, it's all I just love hearing those stories and where they are
59:15
and where they started just all. It's so cool hearing so many
59:21
different. Yeah, games of motherhood.
59:25
Well, I think you're so smart to be doing this podcast because I
59:27
think it there is a big like Missing Link in this industry.
59:30
And if it's okay, I'm going to put you on my Website as a
59:35
recommendation for people to utilize and what not.
59:39
And if people, you know, want to see my cute baby, they can look
59:42
at my Instagram at that Doolittle and you can find me at
59:46
actors rise. Also, if people have questions
59:48
about their careers, of course. Yes, I will be messaging you.
59:53
Wait, so then are you still? I'm off maternity.
59:56
Leave your good again as well. Thank you.
1:00:02
Thank you. Thank you.
1:00:04
And that's our episode. Thank you so much to my guest
1:00:09
and a special. Thank you to my producer,
1:00:11
Cecilia trip with Laurel Canyon creative and thank you to Edith
1:00:16
Mudge for our theme music and I hope you enjoyed having a look
1:00:22
into mommy, would don't forget to follow mommy would podcast on
1:00:28
Instagram and Tick-Tock and please give Us a nice review and
1:00:36
a few Stars while you're at it, we would appreciate it.
1:00:39
So, so much and take care any kind of light,