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How can I cope while expecting a loss? · Wellbeing Solutions - Ask A Counsellor

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: How can I cope while expecting a loss?
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Acceptance of a pending death of a loved one is not easily found sometimes.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Once you do reach that stage of acceptance, then you it this can be followed by an overwhelming sense of anxiety and dread of what's to come.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: Before we come to that stage of acceptance over what will be, you will continue and the person who's dying to grieve the loss.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: So the losses include the dying person's abilities, independence, a loss of cognition sometimes, loss of hope for the future, loss of dreams for the future, loss of stability and security, the loss of their identity and sometimes your own, and then countless other losses that come with this.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: Along with emotional impact, we may also be dealing with providing or coordinating care for the person, working, maintaining jobs, and taking care of the homes and our own families too.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: The most important thing to remember in how you cope is making sure you cover the basics with yourself.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: Make sure you're sleeping properly where you can, asking for help where you can and eating the right foods where you can.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, I mentioned get support with yourself, so it's really good if you can offload to someone, or some to take some time out from all of the responsibilities.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: It may be that you are managing and appearing strong also in front of the person to protect them, but your fears and sadness also need an outlet and release.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: So thirdly, glimmers are very useful for both a dying person and if you're caring, being a carer for them.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: So bringing focus to enjoying the simple things in life, sensory things such as tasting delicious food, smelling the rain in the air, looking at the greens in nature, the colours, these can be ways to help you ground and remain fully present in the moment and not thinking about what the future may hold.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Planning and getting organized, the fourth.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: So helping a person to tie up loose ends they need to and get things in order can be a good distraction for you, knowing that it's also productive for the person.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you can introduce some certainty into the day or the week ahead by planning meals, activities, and treats for you both of you, so this can be really grounding and comforting.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: It helps you to connect with living days instead of waiting to die or waiting with that fear of dying.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope that this has been helpful.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: There are many resources online to get help with processing grief and anticipatory grief with a professional counsellor, or there are free resources with different organizations in your area specific to the illness or condition or situation.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: So Samaritans is a good first port of call if you are experiencing crisis for general anticipatory grief, and then if it's dementia related, www.outzimers.org.uk have lots of good help sheets you can download or listen to using SoundCloud just by clicking on the links.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: You can also call their helpline for dementia-specific support on O3331503456.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Please look after yourself and reach out for support if you need to.