Latest / The BSB Podcast / Exclusive Interview: Michelle Murphy of Tipping Point's 'Keeper'

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Exclusive Interview: Michelle Murphy of Tipping Point's 'Keeper' · The BSB Podcast

• 0:00
  Thank you so much for joining me today, Michelle.
• 0:01
  How are you doing?
• 0:03
  I'm great.
• 0:03
  As I just said, I landed in Michigan from LA, my home about 25 minutes ago and it already, the sun was out and then it poured rain and now the sun is back.
• 0:13
  mean, welcome to Michigan.
• 0:17
  What a day to come to Michigan where it's just, it was downpouring.
• 0:21
  Absolutely downpouring.
• 0:22
  ah So thank you again for talking with us.
• 0:26
  We're so excited to see Keepers arrive at Tipping Point Theater.
• 0:29
  ah Kind of what has been your process with the show?
• 0:33
  Because it sounds like it's kind of been, it's spanned quite a bit of time here.
• 0:37
  Yeah, it really did.
• 0:39
  You know, so I'm a Michigander originally and I went, yes, thank you, thank you.
• 0:45
  I went to University of Detroit Mercy and got my Bachelor of Fine Arts back in the 90s, the 90s.
• 0:54
  And we had to do a solo show to graduate and I did not.
• 0:59
  I don't know what I did, but I managed to sweet talk my way out of it and I didn't do it.
• 1:05
  And I carried on with my life and have been pursuing um the professional career in acting, film, television, theater since then, and moved to Chicago and then Los Angeles.
• 1:18
  But I have always had in the back of my mind, I didn't do that solo show.
• 1:22
  I need to do a solo show.
• 1:25
  So I've been carrying this bucket list around with me forever.
• 1:29
  And so really it was just after sort of the pandemic.
• 1:33
  Um, where, know, we all, if we choose to, you know, sort of get to realign your values and what you want, what you really value, what matters, what doesn't.
• 1:42
  And for me, um, I sort of fell in love with acting again.
• 1:48
  And, um, you know, cause I live in LA, the career is, it's hard out there.
• 1:52
  It's hard out there.
• 1:54
  Um, and so when I, um, I met with a coach.
• 2:00
  And she said, okay, well, let's get some things on the board.
• 2:03
  And I said, well, I always wanted to do a solo show.
• 2:05
  And she goes, great, give me a date and pick a theater.
• 2:08
  And I was like, oh, and so, yeah.
• 2:12
  And so that was it.
• 2:12
  It was like line in the sand.
• 2:14
  And so that's what I did.
• 2:15
  I hired a director and started writing in 2023.
• 2:19
  And it took me a couple of months and it was so hard.
• 2:22
  I made the process so hard.
• 2:24
  And I was like, I'm never, what am I, how do I, what is this?
• 2:28
  This is just a jumble.
• 2:30
  um There was a friend of mine, uh a very popular solo artist, and she said, you know what?
• 2:36
  It will speak to you and tell you what it's going to be, you know, because at first it was just a bunch of stories.
• 2:42
  And she said, what's the best time of your life?
• 2:45
  um And I said, my gosh, summer camp, summer camp at Camp Dearborn in Milford, Michigan.
• 2:51
  And my God, and I mean, I could literally burst into a million songs right now.
• 2:56
  That was it.
• 2:57
  That was the frame.
• 2:58
  And so all of the stories that I had written this timeline of my life, I was able to put in to camp.
• 3:05
  So the best part of my life, and I sort of lead the audience into, you know, the challenging parts of my childhood and, you know, in the end, why I am in fact, a keeper.
• 3:15
  I'm going back.
• 3:16
  It's interesting that they make you like to graduate.
• 3:18
  You had to do a solo show, but I guess it's also like the ultimate challenge of acting in a way.
• 3:24
  yeah, you know, and I look back on it now, you know, with my, you know, my, my fresh adult eyes, you know, when I just really, I didn't know, you know, why I operated the way I
• 3:35
  operated, you know, you're young and independent and life is, you know, for living, baby, you know, like, I had no concept of how to really explore, you know, any of the, you know,
• 3:48
  the deeper work that you do as an adult, you go,
• 3:51
  got that that's trauma got it got it
• 3:56
  What I love, so my day job is a psychologist.
• 3:59
  So like what I love is that when this show came up and they were talking about it, I want to say it was the last show, Lungs, and they were kind of talking about it.
• 4:07
  They're kind of doing a little spiel.
• 4:08
  And I was like, this feels like it is the most therapeutic show I've ever heard of.
• 4:15
  Like what better way to like put all your trauma on the table and then also get to heal from that.
• 4:19
  Hopefully other people can heal from that too.
• 4:22
  gosh and that's exactly the journey that it's been.
• 4:25
  Like you know they sort of say with with at least writing you know like what's it about?
• 4:29
  What's it really about?
• 4:31
  You know what I mean?
• 4:32
  Like is it an actress writing her you know solo show?
• 4:36
  Sure.
• 4:37
  But is it really about you know me being vulnerable and honest and sharing you know parts of my life that people in the audience are like me too you know?
• 4:47
  And it took on a life of its own which I you know I could have never predicted.
• 4:52
  You know, I found, you know, some, you know, like I found an anti-bullying camp, which is a theme that comes up in the show in California.
• 5:01
  And I donated all my proceeds from a run that I did there to that.
• 5:06
  Like it keeps finding its audience and.
• 5:10
  I thought I was done with it.
• 5:11
  I had done a full run in 2023 and I put it away.
• 5:15
  I was like, and scene.
• 5:17
  We've done that.
• 5:19
  Yeah, I've done it and um
• 5:21
  A very good friend of mine, Mary Jo Capone, who is an actor here in Michigan and I believe on the board at Tipping Point.
• 5:27
  um And she had put it in Juliette's ear a couple of years ago.
• 5:32
  And so um we, in January, we had the fires in California.
• 5:39
  um I also had discovered I had uh thyroid cancer caught very quickly.
• 5:46
  So I had a partial thyroidectomy and a week later we had all of these fires.
• 5:53
  And then like a week later, Juliette like got a hold of me and was like, um, we'd like to put your show on.
• 5:59
  And I was like, my show about trauma and you know, and I was like, I said yes.
• 6:05
  And cause that's sort of what I do when I'm really scared of something.
• 6:08
  I'm like, yes, of course, of course, you know,
• 6:12
  Which is beautiful because I feel like a lot of people, myself included, when we're scared, we're more hesitant.
• 6:16
  And it sounds like you were very much like that this is the right time, right place to do this show.
• 6:22
  Yeah, well, I find like everything is on the other side of scared.
• 6:26
  You know what I mean?
• 6:27
  Like you keep coming up against the thing and you know, these will talk you out of everything, you know, and once you can push through it, you know what I mean?
• 6:36
  You're just going to be in such a different place.
• 6:38
  So, so yeah, I said yes.
• 6:40
  And I fought tooth and nail for the first several months of like, I don't want to do my show again.
• 6:47
  And then I, um,
• 6:48
  I got it back in my body and because I had been removed from it for a year and a half, I could really look at it with fresh eyes and really just sort of fell in love with it again
• 6:57
  and have been putting it back up and really discovering new things about it.
• 7:02
  So it's been really fun.
• 7:03
  I'm so glad I said yes.
• 7:05
  So when you kind of do that, when you have a show and you put it away and you kind of like, put it to bed, you're like, it's done.
• 7:11
  And then you pull it back out.
• 7:13
  Does it, like when you look at it through that new lens, does it change?
• 7:16
  Like does the process of it change at all?
• 7:19
  Yes, new themes sort of popped out or things, you know, like, I was talking to like, a therapist about, you know, we were talking about trauma and, you know, he goes, yeah,
• 7:35
  trauma is like circular, you know what I mean?
• 7:38
  So even though you've worked through things, you know, which I have with Keeper, I'm on the other side of all of this, which is why I'm able to make art with it.
• 7:46
  and tell stories from it.
• 7:49
  But it's of like puddles, right?
• 7:52
  That are like serene and then you start tapping them, you know what I mean?
• 7:55
  And like new things come up, you know?
• 7:57
  And so rather than shy away from those new things, I'm like, yeah, okay, let's explore that.
• 8:03
  Let's look at what this looks like, you know?
• 8:05
  So that to me is my challenge uh as an artist and a performer, you know?
• 8:13
  I feel like that has to, as a psychologist, would say that when you return to therapy, you almost do, I use this word loosely, but retraumatize yourself.
• 8:21
  When you have to, you're picking at those scabs down.
• 8:24
  I like how you said it's like the dribble of the water, that there's a beauty to that.
• 8:28
  But there is a moment where those ripples, you have to decide how much exposure of that feels good, where does it lie?
• 8:36
  And so that again had to be quite a heavy experience, especially after, like you said,
• 8:41
  thyroid cancer after the fires to re-explore all that.
• 8:46
  Yeah, it really was.
• 8:48
  What will happen for me is fear will pop back in.
• 8:52
  It's always fear, some sort of fear.
• 8:54
  And I will literally say, I can't do that.
• 8:56
  I can't do a solo show.
• 8:58
  And I'm like, OK, well, beg to differ.
• 9:02
  There's about 20 performances already.
• 9:04
  And here, you can even watch one.
• 9:06
  And I'm like, yeah, like, so I have to constantly keep building myself up again, you know what I mean?
• 9:11
  And build my self confidence and remind myself because I will constantly revert to, I can't.
• 9:18
  But there's also a part of me that's like, I can do anything.
• 9:22
  So, you know, it's the duality of humans, I guess, you know what I mean?
• 9:26
  Like, let's be safe.
• 9:28
  Let's jump out of a plane.
• 9:29
  You know what I mean?
• 9:30
  For sure.
• 9:32
  You're like, you're like, I'm jumping out of the plane, but safely.
• 9:35
  So I know we kind of talked a little bit about it, but just like, what is Keeper?
• 9:40
  Like you're going back to almost your childhood, your teenage years of life.
• 9:46
  Is that correct?
• 9:47
  Yes, it is, you know, and it's so hard.
• 9:50
  It's always like, what is the log line, Michelle?
• 9:52
  And I'm always like, I don't know.
• 9:55
  It's a coming of age story.
• 9:57
  You know what I mean?
• 9:58
  I age, I start out and I'm eight years old and I sort of will toggle back and forth between eight, 16, and I start aging up all the way.
• 10:06
  I think the oldest I get in the show is 15.
• 10:10
  And then of course I'll pop in and out as like present day and sort of, you know, wrap things up and.
• 10:18
  but as I had mentioned, I used the camp, I use camp songs and I'm painting this amazing picture for the audience of like what it was like, the freedom of youth camp and there's
• 10:31
  no parents, you know, and it is just like, you know, for me, I mean, was canoe trips and archery and rifle, re and trust balls.
• 10:41
  I mean, it was like just such a precious childhood, you know,
• 10:46
  And you'll appreciate this as a psychologist.
• 10:50
  You know, it wasn't until I had started like therapy, I never had went to a therapist.
• 10:55
  I'm an actor, you your stage is therapy.
• 10:58
  I went to a therapist um in my 40s, right, when I had gotten pregnant, my son is now 11.
• 11:05
  um And I would tell her, you know, I'm telling stories about my childhood or whatever, and I sort of breeze through them or the way that we do when we tell a
• 11:14
  an often repeated story and she's like, hold up, wait a minute, what?
• 11:21
  And so this, once I was like, oh, is that odd?
• 11:25
  Not everybody's dad wins the lottery, what?
• 11:29
  You know what I mean?
• 11:31
  Like, oh, okay.
• 11:33
  I mean, very interesting things.
• 11:35
  And so once I started to explore them, I started to really realize there was a lot of pain and almost what this show taught me.
• 11:43
  is it's like the origin of where my self worth was damaged, right?
• 11:50
  And I didn't even know it until I had written it and started working on it.
• 11:54
  And it's like, oh my gosh, that was it, you know?
• 11:58
  And when you have that narrative, you build on it, you know, whatever this misbelief about yourself is, this truth, you know, and you carry that with you your whole life, unless
• 12:08
  somebody's like, oh, by the way,
• 12:11
  That's not true or you don't have to carry that.
• 12:14
  You can put that down.
• 12:16
  You can let that go.
• 12:18
  And so that is what this show taught me.
• 12:21
  And it just keeps revealing itself in such a, like just ways that make me feel like so proud as an artist, you know, because it's like, I'm getting back to this joyful part of
• 12:34
  my childhood, which is song and dance and freedom.
• 12:38
  You know what I mean?
• 12:39
  And, and
• 12:41
  Yeah, that's all in the show.
• 12:43
  Happy accident.
• 12:45
  I was going to say, I quite frequently have those moments with clients and stuff where it's just like, they'll say something and I'll be like, let's talk about the fact that
• 12:55
  that's not normal.
• 12:56
  And they always have this like revelation of just being like the, we call it the lactose moments.
• 12:59
  Kind like when you figure out your lactose intolerant, know, of just being like the, didn't have an answer to it, but maybe it's always under the surface.
• 13:06
  And once you stop to reflect and you're like, oh, I've always laughed that off or I've always tried to just, it's not a big deal.
• 13:13
  And actually that is a big deal and that impacts all of us.
• 13:16
  um But I also love what you said there too, is it shows that healing doesn't have to happen at any age or stage or, know, and it's not always continuous.
• 13:26
  Right.
• 13:27
  And, you know, it's so interesting.
• 13:29
  um A very good friend of mine, um also an actor.
• 13:32
  I mean, you know, being from Michigan, which is why I'm so grateful to bring my show back here again.
• 13:36
  um Michigan is where I, you know, I earned my equity card, my SAG card.
• 13:42
  Like these are my people.
• 13:44
  Like I came up with, you know, created art and I mean, Michigan is full of creatives.
• 13:49
  There is something about this state.
• 13:50
  Let me tell you.
• 13:52
  I mean, you know, I could literally start naming off a billion.
• 13:56
  artists, directors, films.
• 13:57
  I'm like, yeah, Michigan, do you know Michigan?
• 13:59
  You know, we're all in there.
• 14:00
  ah Magic of the Midwest.
• 14:04
  But a friend of mine had used this word again in my early 40s and she was saying something and she just kept saying, well, that's my boundary.
• 14:14
  And I was like, what's a boundary?
• 14:17
  Like a boundary?
• 14:19
  What?
• 14:20
  I mean, stunned.
• 14:22
  You know, I never really.
• 14:23
  thought of it like that, you know, and so I'm like, oh, you know, like being an artist, you know, I'm an empath, I'm all of these things, I have all of my emotions with me, but
• 14:34
  you know, I, I'm the boss of them.
• 14:39
  I can, I don't have to just, you know, put my bleeding heart everywhere.
• 14:43
  I can have a boundary.
• 14:47
  Which is really hard, I would assume, as an actor because, especially in a show like this, you're putting yourself out there, by yourself on a stage, every night doing it.
• 14:57
  There's no, there's no really, there's not a place to hide from that.
• 15:01
  Or from the crowd.
• 15:02
  And I sort of wrote it in there, you know what I mean?
• 15:05
  Like, I'm sort of like, I'm gonna trust fall and you'll catch me or you won't.
• 15:09
  You know what I mean?
• 15:11
  you know, it just kept, again, I'm just like, who wrote this?
• 15:15
  This is good.
• 15:17
  It just keeps revealing itself, you know?
• 15:22
  yeah, you know, I mean, you know, being an actor, we like buy into trust right away.
• 15:27
  And it's not.
• 15:28
  earned.
• 15:28
  We're just all agreeing that, you know, okay, we're all buying this, you know, uh you know, story and we're all going to yes and it, you know, and oh I lost my train of
• 15:42
  thought.
• 15:43
  Sorry, my jet lag just hit me.
• 15:46
  What was I saying?
• 15:47
  Rewind the tape.
• 15:49
  It's, I think that, you know, like there's just this power to being vulnerable on stage is kind of what we're talking about and, and that's scary.
• 15:59
  And the, that's also empowering, I would assume.
• 16:02
  Yes, and I've always enjoyed like, I do a lot of like emotional work.
• 16:09
  okay, so I was talking about being an actor, know, so we buy into the same circumstances, right?
• 16:13
  So we trust right away, you know, but it's not earned.
• 16:17
  It's not, you know, we're all just, you know, playing make believe and agreeing to the rules, right?
• 16:22
  And, you know, as artists, it's really fun to be able to do that, you know.
• 16:29
  for sure.
• 16:30
  you realize like in your real life, you know, that's not how everybody operates.
• 16:37
  You know what I mean?
• 16:38
  People have boundaries.
• 16:40
  People have, you know what I mean?
• 16:42
  They're reserved.
• 16:42
  They're not willing to talk about the scariest thing in the world.
• 16:45
  Like you are Michelle.
• 16:47
  You know what I mean?
• 16:48
  They're not just going to whip out, you know, some trauma or shame, you know?
• 16:54
  And I didn't really realize that, that not everybody.
• 16:58
  was so accessible to that.
• 16:59
  And I know that sounds so like, you know, naive, I guess.
• 17:04
  But, you know, I didn't, I didn't really think about it.
• 17:08
  I'm just like, everybody's like that, right?
• 17:10
  And the therapist was like, no, no, I keep wanting people to get in touch with their feelings.
• 17:17
  And I'm like, I have all of my feelings everywhere with me, you know, so.
• 17:22
  It's fun to channel it and put it into its container and take the audience on the ride with me.
• 17:30
  I've learned, I'm not responsible for that.
• 17:33
  All I can do is what I do and tell, be as honest and vulnerable and joyful as I can.
• 17:40
  Whether somebody's with me on the ride or not is not my, that's not my business.
• 17:45
  I hope they are.
• 17:46
  I will say this, you were probably the dream client for therapy that you are open about your emotions because it is true.
• 17:53
  We actually are socialized as humans to people don't want to know about your emotions.
• 17:57
  Like, especially in the Midwest, as I'm sure, you know, when someone says, how are you doing?
• 18:00
  You're just supposed to say, things are great.
• 18:02
  Things are fine.
• 18:02
  Maybe a noncommittal answer, you know?
• 18:05
  Um, and so that you would be, it sounds like you maybe would be someone's like, Hey, I'm not doing great.
• 18:10
  And people wouldn't know what to do with that.
• 18:11
  You know?
• 18:14
  Yeah, it's
• 18:16
  But that's good though.
• 18:17
  That's actually good because that means that you are communicating about those emotions and probably makes for a much more real story for keepers and everybody being able to kind
• 18:26
  of reflect with that.
• 18:28
  Even if they can't talk about it, they can see you talking about it.
• 18:30
  And with the dynamics of a theater, that's easier to have it reflected at you and then you can go home and think about it on yourself.
• 18:37
  right.
• 18:38
  And it, you know, there's themes in the show, you know, there's abandonment that I talk about, there's uh bullying that has happened, you know, there's a mother daughter bond in
• 18:48
  there.
• 18:49
  um These, these, you know, big sort of like themes that um sort of happened in my life.
• 19:01
  I lost my train of thought again, my goodness.
• 19:04
  We were talking about being able to reflect and then go home and think about it.
• 19:09
  Like the audience reaction.
• 19:11
  And it's exactly that.
• 19:12
  you know, bullying, I talk a little bit in my bullying story about like skipping lunch because lunch was a really dangerous place.
• 19:23
  And so I would uh hide in the locker room and I didn't have food.
• 19:28
  And because I was a latchkey kid, you know, I ate in a lunch line like there was no vending machines back in the last century, um you know.
• 19:37
  And I would take
• 19:40
  I'd go through the lockers and take people's lunch.
• 19:45
  And it was like, that hit me when I was writing and it was like, I had forgotten, you know what I mean?
• 19:50
  As I was exploring the bullying year again.
• 19:52
  And the audience members over time, that would be the one thing that somebody would zero in on and go, me too, me too, I had that happen.
• 20:04
  You know what I mean?
• 20:05
  I didn't have, you know, like...
• 20:08
  I was a latchkey kid.
• 20:10
  didn't have, you know what I mean?
• 20:12
  And it was like, I could have never anticipated that, you know, like, and whether they were male or female, you know, my bullies happened to be females.
• 20:20
  And this one audience member in particular was a male, you know, and he came up to me after and sort of shared that, like, you know, when I was like, yes, we all, we all create
• 20:32
  these stories for ourselves or we all have the shame.
• 20:36
  you know, or to be able to even identify it as shame, you know, and like, do you have to carry that with you your whole life?
• 20:43
  You know, and that was what happened, you know, to bring this sort of back around is what if I put this shame down?
• 20:52
  You know, what if I have shared it?
• 20:54
  I know where it came from.
• 20:56
  What if I'm done with it?
• 20:58
  Who can I be now that I'm on the other side of it?
• 21:01
  You know what I mean?
• 21:02
  And I think that that's a really powerful
• 21:05
  you know message for people you know because we don't have to carry it with us forever right
• 21:11
  No, and we do though, and it's very isolating, because you talked about the eating by yourself at lunch, and it clicked in.
• 21:18
  was like, I remember a year where I did that, and I went to a classroom with a teacher, and I'm being best friends with that teacher, and it's something that I don't talk about.
• 21:26
  I think this might be the first time I'm talking about it publicly everywhere.
• 21:29
  it's nice to be able to see that and be like, maybe I'm not so alone in this.
• 21:34
  We've all had some version of that.
• 21:39
  while it again puts you in a very vulnerable spot because you're sharing it, your story, it is connecting it with other people and they can maybe have their own healing process
• 21:48
  from
• 21:49
  Absolutely.
• 21:50
  You know, and that is something that just keeps walloping me in the face about this show.
• 21:54
  You know what I mean?
• 21:55
  Because I'm like, that wasn't my intention.
• 21:57
  Like I'm gonna, you know, make this thing and bring out, you know, that that's not for me to do.
• 22:02
  ah But to be on the receiving end of that, I mean, even to receive your truth right now, like to me, that is the joy of creativity and art and like truly living in the moment, you
• 22:17
  know, like
• 22:19
  you can share that, you know what I mean?
• 22:21
  And if you started to explore that more, because I love even as you talk about it, like a teacher meant something so special to you, right?
• 22:30
  Because they were the one that was there, you know what I mean?
• 22:33
  Like that's fascinating.
• 22:35
  So even though you have this trauma, you know, there was still one anchor there that made you feel safe, you know?
• 22:43
  Yeah.
• 22:44
  Now, while you're kind of going through the show or like as you're like pulling it back out, you're getting ready to put it on at tipping point.
• 22:51
  Do you ever find that like it impacts your mental health?
• 22:53
  As a therapist, I have to ask, like, you see like as you're like going through a scene and you're just like, maybe I need to take a moment and step back and like reflect and breathe
• 23:00
  during this or set it aside for a moment.
• 23:04
  That's such a good question.
• 23:05
  um So I am the kind of person that has all of my emotions.
• 23:13
  if somebody was like bursting into tears, I'm like, gotcha.
• 23:16
  You know, like that's where they're at.
• 23:17
  Right.
• 23:19
  And then I'm like, is that OK?
• 23:23
  Is that normal?
• 23:25
  What is that?
• 23:26
  Like, know I.
• 23:29
  I mean, you know, I use it, you know, in my art.
• 23:32
  um
• 23:33
  you know, this kind of thing.
• 23:34
  But I talk about it in the show.
• 23:37
  sort of I make reference to shoving it all down.
• 23:40
  You shove it all down.
• 23:41
  Right.
• 23:42
  And in in reference to the show and in my, you know, thought process, like it's going to find its way out.
• 23:52
  You know what I mean?
• 23:53
  It's going to find its way out.
• 23:54
  And typically it finds its way out in ways that don't even, you know, it's always at the wrong person.
• 24:00
  It's at the wrong time.
• 24:01
  You know, it doesn't make sense.
• 24:03
  You know, you're just pressing things down.
• 24:05
  And so I talk about it in the show about I'm not going to shove things down anymore.
• 24:09
  So if it hits me in the show, like I will still, you know, like I'll just burst into tears.
• 24:15
  ah But it's my body's reaction.
• 24:18
  You know what I mean?
• 24:18
  It's not me as the actor going, boy, I'm going to get you here.
• 24:22
  Look at me.
• 24:23
  You know, it's and I'm not going to shove that down in this particular show.
• 24:28
  And I and I make a conscious choice to do that.
• 24:31
  Um, you know, because I think it's really valuable, I think, to see, um, you know, real emotion, you know, because we do always keep things shoved down or, you know, not
• 24:45
  appropriate to, you know, burst into tears at Rite Aid or whatever, you know.
• 24:52
  No, or, you know, everyone's like, um.
• 24:56
  So yeah, in particular in this show, you know, if it hits me and it's still, mean, there's still lines that when I say them every time they hit me in a different way and they still,
• 25:05
  you know, and I'll fight through it.
• 25:08
  And, you know, the interesting thing about that is, uh you know, I did the show in LA at the Hollywood Fringe.
• 25:15
  So it ran, you know, it had its nice little run.
• 25:18
  was part of a festival.
• 25:19
  It really a cool experience.
• 25:22
  And, you know, it was reviewed a bunch.
• 25:25
  And I remember I got, you know, I got the most beautiful review from some, you know what I mean?
• 25:30
  It was like somebody very clearly that was like, yes, you are my spirit animal.
• 25:36
  I feel you.
• 25:37
  And then in turn, another review, the exact same show, the exact same show.
• 25:43
  This person said, you know, I'm a little worried about her.
• 25:47
  Like, you know what I mean?
• 25:48
  Is this something that she's worked through?
• 25:51
  You know, and I thought,
• 25:53
  It was so fascinating to me.
• 25:55
  I'm grateful for that review because I go, I couldn't have done anything differently.
• 26:00
  This person was like, I loved it.
• 26:02
  I love what you did.
• 26:03
  This person was like, that was a lot that you shared.
• 26:07
  You know what I mean?
• 26:08
  So what do I do with that?
• 26:11
  I mean, it shows you exactly what mindsets they're in and probably going back to what you said about shoving it down, the person who didn't understand it is probably used to
• 26:19
  shoving it down, know, in a way of like, these are not emotions that we express.
• 26:22
  These are not things that we go through.
• 26:25
  And so that almost felt foreign of like a performance of just like, is like, what is Michelle doing on stage there?
• 26:33
  You know, and that, um it's just me, you know?
• 26:38
  And it's like, it's literally like jumping out of an airplane.
• 26:41
  It really was this, and I have jumped out of an airplane, by the way.
• 26:44
  Like, it, you just have, you are leaping.
• 26:50
  And, you know, it's sort of the beauty of live theater.
• 26:54
  You know what I mean?
• 26:55
  You just open your mouth and dear Lord, please let the right words come out.
• 27:00
  You know?
• 27:01
  Right, absolutely.
• 27:03
  But yeah, like once I start firing, you know, it just charges, you know, and so when I work on this show, it's like cardio, it's singing, it's all of this so that I, you know,
• 27:16
  the professional actor part of myself can deliver a really good show the way that I want to deliver it, you know, doing my vocal lessons, like all of those things, you know.
• 27:27
  And yes, to your original point, yeah, making sure that my mental health
• 27:33
  is being taken care of.
• 27:36
  And absolutely, like this time around, I started to work with a different therapist um who added, because the past, I've handled the past.
• 27:45
  You know what I mean?
• 27:46
  Like, I'm not there anymore, but I'm living my life right now.
• 27:51
  And I'm like, what are my new tools?
• 27:54
  And he has brought meditation to me and intentions.
• 28:00
  and all of the woo woo stuff that I was like, what?
• 28:04
  It doesn't work.
• 28:04
  Yeah, but it does.
• 28:07
  like, yeah, we all like, I mean, they're goals.
• 28:11
  Everybody's like, what's my goal?
• 28:13
  Okay, my goal is to lose 20 pounds.
• 28:14
  Okay, great.
• 28:15
  What are the steps to get there?
• 28:18
  You know, as opposed, and it's like, oh, okay, I understand that, you know, rather than this arbitrary, like, goal, you know.
• 28:28
  Absolutely.
• 28:29
  uh With a show like this, because I know that it's being directed or was directed by Juliette Jeffers, uh what is it like to have a personal story of yours that is your story
• 28:39
  being directed by somebody else?
• 28:40
  Is that like how does that feel?
• 28:42
  I guess.
• 28:44
  Um, Juliette Jeffers is such a gem of a human.
• 28:50
  this she has done, she's a five time solo artist herself.
• 28:54
  Juliette has a huge film and television career.
• 28:57
  And when I picked Juliette I watched her and it was a some, some things she was on.
• 29:03
  And I could tell when I was watching her that she had the emotion that I did.
• 29:10
  And you only can.
• 29:12
  You can only get that if you've lived a life.
• 29:15
  You know what I mean?
• 29:16
  And I was like, I'm going to be safe with her.
• 29:19
  And I was.
• 29:20
  Juliette like, Juliette made like the boundaries for me and let me do all the things in there.
• 29:27
  The head, the hard head space, the what is this?
• 29:30
  This is garbage.
• 29:31
  This is, ugh, you know, all of this.
• 29:35
  And she kept me like, like one foot on the ground, you know.
• 29:40
  And so Juliette is actually, um she just is filming in the Caribbean, her first uh short feature that she's directing.
• 29:49
  So she wasn't available for this.
• 29:50
  And so I brought in Lavinia Hart, um who is a huge name in Detroit theater.
• 29:59
  And she was at Wayne State for a long time.
• 30:01
  I mean, just the arts with her are amazing.
• 30:03
  She resides in Los Angeles.
• 30:05
  Her daughter is Jamie Moyer, who is a huge Detroiter.
• 30:08
  um
• 30:10
  We're all connected.
• 30:10
  ah But Lavinia, I brought in this time for creative director and Lavinia helped me play because that's what I needed to do again.
• 30:19
  I needed to play and that's what she brought to me this time.
• 30:23
  I like that they were able to kind of do different things.
• 30:25
  You one gave you the structure in which for you to color and now someone's telling you, here's how you play with the colors, you know, and this is what you do with it.
• 30:34
  Yeah, and because Lavinia hadn't seen it before.
• 30:36
  And so she could look at it and go, hey, what if we changed this to the present tense?
• 30:41
  You know, and I was like, yeah, that makes sense.
• 30:43
  Whereas the first time I did it, I couldn't do those second drafts because it was still so fresh.
• 30:49
  Like, you know, and now I could look at it with fresher eyes and go, yeah, let me clean that up.
• 30:54
  Let me do this.
• 30:55
  Yeah.
• 30:56
  One final question for you is just what are you hoping audiences take away from Keepers?
• 31:02
  keeper, you know, I think it's the message that I talked about before, you know, that, that I sort of end the show with like, you know, we can take care of ourselves and let go
• 31:18
  of these misbeliefs and these lies or whatever they are, whatever we whatever baggage we've been carrying around, you know, you can put that down.
• 31:28
  you know what I mean?
• 31:29
  And like, what does your day look like when you start doing that?
• 31:33
  You know?
• 31:34
  And like that to me, like I fully anticipate like, you know, seeing people after the show and like, I'm always intrigued by what they're gonna share.
• 31:44
  They're so vulnerable.
• 31:45
  And I'm like, there's no boundaries here.
• 31:48
  My favorite!
• 31:52
  I mean, I fully anticipate crying my eyes out at this show.
• 31:55
  can already feel it.
• 31:58
  But like a relief cry, you know, like you're finally, you can let someone that you can shed some of those tears of just all that.
• 32:04
  Like you said, the stuff you were holding onto that you don't have to carry.
• 32:07
  Yeah, I take care of, know, like it's hard to look back, you know, at your six year old self and go, what do they need?
• 32:14
  And what do they need now?
• 32:16
  And sometimes that's what I'll do is I'll like walk and be just, you know, doing a quick line through.
• 32:21
  And I think about six year old me and like, what does she need?
• 32:26
  You know what I mean?
• 32:27
  What can I give her, you know, myself, you know, and that to me just fuels me.
• 32:32
  love that.
• 32:33
  Well, thank you so much, Michelle, for your time.
• 32:35
  again, we're so excited for this show.
• 32:37
  But thank you for speaking with us and taking time out of your, you just got in, so thanks.
• 32:41
  ah Keeper arrives at Tipping Point Theater July 30th, 31st, sorry, and runs through August 2nd.
• 32:49
  So get your tickets now and we will see you there.
• 32:51
  Yay.