Latest / Drawn of History / Chris Distefano _ This Past Weekend w_ Theo Von _609(M4A_128K)

Transcript

Chris Distefano _ This Past Weekend w_ Theo Von _609(M4A_128K) · Drawn of History

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Today's guest is a stand-up comedian out of New York City.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: He's performing this Thursday at the Madison Square Garden Theater
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: on 9-11. I'm thankful to have him back in studio,
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: the recently engaged Mr. Chris DeStefano.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: I love this. You're pretty good.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, is racism still alive, do you think? What
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: do you think is really going on with racism?
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: With racism, what I really think is going on is
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: I think that it's turning around now, and now it's
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: pretty much just whites and blacks coming together to be
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: racist against the Chinese. You do? Yeah, so that's what
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: I think is the nice thing about racism is everybody's
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: teaming up now.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: And so it's about a common enemy because it used
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: to be white versus black, but that's not at all
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: what it is anymore. And Latinos have been absorbed. up
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: into white. And it's everything is just not Chinese Americans,
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: just people from China. Okay. That's where it seems to
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: be going now.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: Well, some black folks were beating up the Chinese during
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: the COVID stuff.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: Remember that? That was the big thing. That was, you know,
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: I have a lot of friends, obviously by my haircut,
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: you know, and you've known me for a long time,
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: but I have a lot of friends who are in
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: the NYPD. And I have an honorary police badge just
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: for my, just because of the way I look. I
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: was just given one. You know, like some people get
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: like a honorary doctorate, like Bill Cosby, the G, OG.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: I got an honorary NYPD just because of my look.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: Oh, I could see you breaking that out, like in
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: a men's bathhouse or something.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: Like, everybody down. Yeah, yeah. And mouths open. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: I'm on a big group chat with like 30 cops.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: And anytime there's like a protest, they'll just start writing C.S.,
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, what the hell is that? And they're like,
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: cracking skulls.
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Just start coming out. Coughing time. That's what it is.
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: But I think that. Do you really think that?
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: Because racism, like, you know, it's just, it's gotten into, like,
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: when I was young, it was like, I don't want
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: to say it was nice or whatever, but it was just,
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: it was easy.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: It was like, okay, everybody.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: Was a certain thing and you kind of got to
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: pick them out and you knew who was going to
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: pick on you type of thing.
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: But then people started getting so mixed. It's like you
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: almost need. like a calculate, you almost, you're like, well,
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: what is, you know, what I'm only going to be
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: racist against a half of this person or a quarter
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: of them. It's like, it's just too confusing now.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: Right. Well, it's too confusing. It's like when you started
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: doing fractions when you were like in fourth grade. And
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: it's also like, everybody is every race and everybody's every
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: gender and everyone, like I haven't even in my own family.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: Cause you know, I got, my kids are half white,
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: half Latino. And you know, I have a 10 year
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: old daughter and a four year old daughter. And there's
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: even division there. Like my 10 year old has chosen
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: to be more Latina. and my four-year-old's chosen to be
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: more white. And so I'll have my four-year-old multiple times,
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: multiple times my four-year-old has, you know, these kids are
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: so damn good on the iPad now, multiple times my
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: four-year-old has been fully on FaceTime with ICE agents trying
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: to get my 10 year old locked up. And then
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: it's like, you know, do you put them on? Cause I,
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: and I put them in timeout, but you're like, is
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: that enough? And timeout is.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: What the government is trying to put him in. Is
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: it just like a practice? Like, you know, I think
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: these days for, I think for Latino kids, you got
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: to make timeout intense, right. You know, to at least
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: get them ready in case they get picked up.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: That's what actually, it's funny you say that. That's what
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: I've been implementing in my house. I have a little
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: room in my basement. It's alligator Alcatraz. Well, we actually
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: call it Guantanamo Bay.
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: And so we have it set up. We have like
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: a little video camera there. We put them all in,
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: you know, masks when they go down there. And it's
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: a whole thing to get them set up because the
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: truth is, man, is if one of my children has
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: chosen to be white and one of my children has
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: chosen to be Latino. That's on them. That's on them.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: And it caused division with, you know, my wife and I,
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: like I have to now choose, you know, and obviously
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: I choose white.
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: You know, as you have.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: I don't, I mean, I think these days I am
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: on the fence, you know, or like, how do you
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: say the fence in Spanish?
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: Bring that up. La fence. You think? That's French. No,
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: you used to.
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: La valla.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: La Valle. Now, do you... She's cute. How old is she?
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: For real, right? But no. We're in Tennessee, so I
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: don't know. What's the age?
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'll say it skews a little, but nothing
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: to drive down here for.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: I just want to say I love Celsius. It's not
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: like the old days. I'm going to need some today. Really? Oh,
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: you're not feeling? I'm sorry, man. No, I'm okay.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: Let's go through some of the stuff you've said already, because, yeah,
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: I do think, you know, these days they're picking up
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: so many people for so many things that... at-home timeouts
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: should be more extensor for these kids. It's got to
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: be more intense. You've got to put them under a
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: bright lamp or something like that. You've got to tape
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: their feet to the floor and tickle them. You've got
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: to do things that are going to prep them.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah, and also, too, I prepare my children for
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: kidnappings and things like that because with all the Netflix
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: content and just content in general that needs to come out,
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: you have to think that networks and streamers are going
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: to start to just do things for the content. So
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: they will just let a serial killer loose or just
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: pay a dude to just kind of get out there
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: and kidnap kids so they have the story. So you
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: have to, you know, my kids want to get into acting,
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: so maybe that's the way.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: Well, you know, they just started a lot of those
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: pedophiles that they're busting over there at Target. You've seen
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: these TikToks?
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: No, that's what the beautiful thing. Have you seen them?
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: I haven't because I've been off social media. I'm not
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: on social. I've, I've, I've went away. I just let
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: my kids go on it. That's fine. I just let them,
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: I just let them kind of get all the energy
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: out on social media, let them make profiles, talk to
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: whomever they want. And I'm not on it. Oh, you
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: got to keep the breadwinner safe.
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, dude.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: I got to, you know, my brain got to be here. Yeah.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: Um, no, dude, I was thinking that there are a
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: lot of, uh, the pedophiles that are now, I guess
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: they always, now it's not even cops busting them. It's
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: just like dudes busting them. It's like regular dude. They'll
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: just wander up on a guy and they're like, so
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: who you here to see, you know?
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: And it's just some guy.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: And, but the, you know, the guy has been flirt,
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: flirting with a child online, a hypothetical child. The other
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: guy who's busting him has been sitting around pretending to
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: be a child, making sexual advances, or I don't want
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: to say that entirely, but communicating sexually with a hypothetical adult.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: Cause at that point they don't know they're online, which
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: both sides of it, like definitely the predator is that's it.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: That's a crime.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: The other side also has to be a little bit
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: weird at a certain times. Like the psyche that happens
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: if all day or six hours a day for four
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: days a week, you're sitting there pretending to be a
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: child and like responding to like sexual advances of adults
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: has to be kind of weird.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: It's yes.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: But then they get them to these places and instead
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: of busting them, now they're doing things where there's physical
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: challenges and they let them go if they can complete
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: the physical challenge.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, it's kind of a genius move because
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: it's like, it's kind of like, you know, American Ninja
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: Warrior meets Chris Hansen, which is kind of dope. You
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: know what I mean? It's kind of interesting because we
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: have to get to that level. But I think, yeah,
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: unfortunately now everything, you got to know what's content. Everything
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: in some ways is content. You do got to think,
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: I agree with you, you know, these people that expose
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: the pedophiles, it's like, You're not a pedophile, but you're
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: also not doing it for the greater good.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: I think there has to be some weird psychological thing
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: that has to mess with you after a while. Bring
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: up some of those pedophiles that were completing the challenges
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: and stuff.
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: Can you see that? You look kind of beefy, dude,
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: up in the shoulders, like you're stronger now. I have
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: been in the gym. I'm feeling tired, though. Now, do
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: you think you have early-stage COVID? What are you tired from,
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: do you think? Bro, I don't. You have to, first
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: of all, fully believe in COVID to even get it,
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: I believe.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: 100%.
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: But they're just getting stronger. That's crazy.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: And then they let them back in a lot. It's
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: like they're just getting stronger. Yeah, well, that's— They're getting— some
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: of them are doing hurdles. One guy had to eat
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: like 40 eggs, and it's like, okay, now.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: He's— Now you got mad protein, and you can grab
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: any kid you want. Well, it's just they're getting stronger.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: So do you think then the solution is obviously to
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: give the kids guns? Oh, dude. Would that be the solution?
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I know that's going to happen. Because
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: that's what's going to happen is the first active shooter
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: is going to go in with a plan and get
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: shot by the students right away and just feel like
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: an idiot. What if they had a dude named Guantanamo Bay, right? B-A-E.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: And he was just like this gay dude in the like.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: In Guantanamo that was just like slurping everybody.
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: Be like, everything's fine. Dude, I would want to get arrested.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: You would be that. You'd be a great guy to
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: be Guantanamo Bay. And I know how to play both sides.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: I know how to play Latino and gay.
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: Easily. You could do it. I have both dudes living
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: inside me right now. Yeah.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: Well, I think, I mean, yeah, I think, look, if
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: that's how you feel, I'm not, you know.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I'll tell you how I feel about that.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: My pronouns are he, nosotros. Yes, he, nosotros. Wait, nosotros,
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: what's this between nosotros and vosotros? Vosotros means us. And
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: what does nosotros mean? We. Got it.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: I think that's it. Oh, vosotros means you. Sorry, I
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: think it's formal.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: Can you hit that accent? Because I'm... Vosotros. God. Damn, dude.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: I'll have two kids right now. Yo, do you want kids, man?
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I want some. I want to get into that, dude.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: But I do want to also ask you, though. Yeah,
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: what did you think about... Oh, they just had that
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: Drewski clip that came up. I want to talk about that.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: Do you see that?
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: No, but I'd love to see it. It's cool to
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: not know what's going on in the world at all,
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: and it's also cool to catch up with you when
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: I don't even know what's going on in your life.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: Well, this is the kind of thing that's happening, and
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: we will get into that, because I know last time
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: you were here, we had a huge conversation for two hours.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: It was Valentine's Day. We talked about love. We talked
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: about where we're at. That must have been years ago, dude.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: It was a couple years ago. You've had some... You've
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: had some big things happen in your life where you
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: have been forced into marriage by a semi-illegal alien.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: And we're going to talk about that? Yes.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: We're going to talk about that. But first, I want
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: to talk a little bit more about race and race baiting.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: Cross-racial behaviors right here. This is a clip of a
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: white male, let's see, that Drewski put together.
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: Okay. Okay. Here's the love. Here's the honor. If you
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: can't come in here, come over.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: I think this is a Jason Kelsey impersonation also.
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: Look at this. Hey, Sue Annum.
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: Sue Annum. He ain't come up.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: You didn't listen to your Nana. Cedar Point.
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: Hey, you lost, bro?
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: No, I'm going to the race.
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: What race? NASCAR race.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: You're going to NASCAR?
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: Yes, sir.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: Hello, bitch. You ain't lost, did you? What is this show?
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: Sure.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: Do you think that kind of racism happens that much, really?
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: Or this is more like in movies type shit, dude.
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: I mean, look, dude, I live in New York, so
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: I don't know what it's like in the South, but
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: I know racism exists. I also know that it's kept
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: alive by the media and the internet and all that
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: stuff because there's so many people that make so much
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: profit off it that you're like, but I mean, I
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: think that's fine. I mean, Drewski doing that is just
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: like a good bit, but I should be able to
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: then fully dress black.
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: Well, that's where I'm going, right? Because at this point,
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, this is hilarious, right? Like, I thought
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: the part with the black dude was so, it's tough
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: to watch because you're like, is he now perpetuating this
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: thing that, I don't think that shit happens, dude. Like,
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying? I grew up in areas
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: with a lot of racism, you know, I've dabbled in it.
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: Sure.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: But I don't see that.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: I mean, I think you see that shit like in
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: a time to kill and old movie or like, you know,
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: like in the heat of the night, you know? And
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: that's just my perception. But I don't even know if
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: a lot of my black friends would say that they
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: see that kind of shit.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: Maybe they do though. Maybe I'm completely blind.
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: Maybe.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: But I think at this point, it's like, you could
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: do that, somebody could do a black face if they
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: wanted to, to create.
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: Humor in it do you think so i mean i
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: guess you can you can try i think you could
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: try whatever you want you could try i think you
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: do it up you try whatever you want i don't
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: have me personally i wouldn't do it not because of
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: just because i don't have the comedy behind you wouldn't
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: look good as a as a african-american exactly dude and
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: i because i got a lot of skin tags so
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: even if i went like blackface or black full body
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: because i i would most likely just go black The chest. Oh,
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: I'd go black arms and legs, and I'd get out
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: on the court, and I'd ball. Right, and I would
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: keep the face white, but I got a lot of
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: skin tags and moles and stuff, so it wouldn't look right.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: But I think in the name of comedy, I say
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: give it a try. That's why with Drewski, I mean,
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: that was funny to me. Give it a try. Any
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: white person that's offended by that is just, you know,
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: they're kind of Guantanamo Bay in a way. Yeah. You know? Yeah.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: In a way, dude. Everybody's kind of just a little
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: bit sensitive, and you really start to feel better about
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: your life. I think ultimately when you come, well, again,
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: I don't generalize anything anymore. Me specifically, I started to
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: feel so much better and happier when I just got
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: off social media because I was like, oh, the regular,
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: all the racism and drama, it's all happening in the
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: comments of people that you don't know. Anybody, I've made
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: a decision in my life, if I don't know you personally,
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: you don't affect me at all, positive or negative. You
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: can tell me how great I am, Doesn't matter. You
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: can tell me how much I suck. Doesn't matter. You
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: can call me any name in the book. Don't care.
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: Unless I personally knew you. If you, Theo Vaughn, was like, hey, Chris, this.
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: You're a f * * * head or whatever. Exactly. Well, dude,
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: I mean, that's how we talk, man. I would just
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: look at my last text from you. Yeah, facts, facts.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: But no, I just think, I love this in the
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: name of comedy. I think it's the kind of comedy
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: that's fun and that you need. And I think if
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: somebody were doing something messed up and that is racist,
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: I think you can feel that undeniably.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: To me, you can't be racist and funny. It's one
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: or the other. You can't be hateful. You can't be
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: racist and hateful. Hitler wasn't funny. You know what I mean?
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: He was racist, but he wasn't funny. He might have
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: been a little funny, but the racist stuff he was
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: doing wasn't funny. But he could have been funny outside
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: his racism. That I don't know. Did he have a
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: sense of humor? Will you bring that up if Hitler
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: had a sense of humor? Yeah, I think he did.
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: Nature of Hitler's humor.
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: Hitler's humor was often sarcastic or offensive, sometimes involved pranks
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: directed at his associates. Examples include telling politically charged or
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: racially derogatory jokes at public events and meetings. and making
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: light of aggressive or threatening situations. His jokes tended to
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: reinforce Nazi ideology or humiliate perceived enemies.
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: Well, there's memes online of him and Goring, who was
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: the head of the Luftwaffe, the Air Force, them just laughing.
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: A lot of times in the group chat, that gif
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: will get sent around with Hitler and Goring just laughing. Well,
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: they're probably off work for a little while. Yeah, I mean,
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: you're not on all the time.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: A specific example of Hitler's humor is the elaborate prank
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: he played on his foreign press chief, Ernest Humpstangle.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: Humpstangle. Humpstangle.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: Hitzler convinced Humpstangle that he would have to parachute behind
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: enemy lines during the Spanish Civil War as part of
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: a dangerous mission. Humpstangle, terrified and confused, spent hours circling
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: the German countryside by plane before the pilot revealed the
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: truth and landed safely. Another account concerns Hitler's cold willingness
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: to use jokes to humiliate or intimidate others. For example,
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: Hitler reportedly joked with Ermin Goring.
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: Goring, that's the head guy.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: That to make the people of Berlin happy, he should
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: jump off the radio tower, a joke that became widely
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: told and led to harsh punishment for those who repeated
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: it publicly.
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: That's the thing. I don't know if you've ever done
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: comedy in Germany, but they tell you you go to
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: do comedy in Germany. you cannot make fun of Nazis.
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: You can't, you can't do any of that. Really? Like
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: you can't make any jokes about it at all. They
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: just don't want to hear about it. They said you
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: could get deported for that. I was like, you mean
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: make fun of it? Like, like you mean like don't
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: condone it or like don't make fun of the Nazis.
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: Cause that's what you guys like. Fuck what? Like you
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: guys are proud of that. And he was like, it's
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: up to you. Yeah. It is up to you. Yeah,
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: which sounds a little bit risque right there. Right, yeah.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: Nazi humor is heavily restricted and can be considered illegal
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: for comedians in Germany, especially if it involves Nazi propaganda
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: symbols or Holocaust denial.
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: Due to strict laws prohibiting such content. Huh.
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, dude.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: Oh, you know who was about to go to Germany?
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: Jim Jefferies was about to go there. Yeah?
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And why? Did he go?
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: I think he said that he has issues with audiences there.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: Like he's selling everywhere in Europe except for some reason
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: not in Germany.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: Well, it seems like they don't have the best sense
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: of humor, right? It seems like because they went through
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: a lot and I feel like– but when I did
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: my shows there, I did a show in Munich and–
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: They were having fun, man.
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: They were having fun. You just, you know, like, you
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: stay away from the Nazi stuff. You don't make fun
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: of them. And if anything fails, Juden, which is Jew,
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: do a bit about that.
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: It's all good. You know what's interesting? What do you say, Juden? Juden. Yeah,
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: I was calling myself Juden Foster. like Judy Foster, but
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: I was like, Juden Foster, and they were laughing at that.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: They're like, God, she's not aged well. Yeah, yeah. She's
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: on hormones. I do kind of look like a lesbian
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: a little bit, right? Oh, dude, you look like the
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: lambs have been screaming right in your face. Yeah, bro,
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: I know. Some people will tell me that. Oh, I
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: was thinking Jodie Foster. That's what I said, Juden Foster. Oh, Juden.
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: But yeah, Nell, from Nell. Remember Nell when she was
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: just like, Beans gonna burn on the grill.
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: Her?
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: Born in the wolf. Nell Carter? Well, no, Nell. There
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: was a movie, Nell, where she's raised by wolves. And
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: she just has a full bush. Oh, I don't like
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: that kind of shit. You don't like pubic hair?
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: Huh?
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: When you had to manipulate all those vaginas before you
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: had this comedy career, though, you had to run into
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: some bush.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: We used to talk about that a lot. I'm not
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: against it. I believe in, like, if I were a
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: time traveler or something, yeah.
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: I'd get used to it, you know? Right.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: Because it's only recently. How long did women have bushes for?
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: It's hundreds of thousands of years.
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: The whole thing about women not having bushes just started recently.
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: That's the thing.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: And who knows what the effect of that is on children? Yeah.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: Let me see what this says. Women do not stop
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: having pubic hair. Trends in grooming and styling of pubic
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: hair have changed throughout history, with the 1980s and 1990s
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: bringing a boom in grooming that included styles for being bare.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: But 2010s and 2020s saw a resurgence of the natural,
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: bush style um yeah it's definitely interesting that that that
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: that kind of took on who was the first woman
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: to have uh bare pubic hair like who fully shaved
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: it yeah i mean that's like the first person that
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: had a convertible open you're like.
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: Whoa yeah the first person to think to shave that.
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: It is impossible to definitively name the first woman to
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: have fully shaven pubic hair publicly as it was historical
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: practice long before the advent of modern media and documentation.
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: Okay, so it's been around for a long time.
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: In ancient Egypt, Rome, and Greece, for hygiene status and beauty,
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: upper-class Roman and Egyptian women, for instance, used tools like
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: pumice stones, razors, tweezers, and sugaring to achieve hairlessness.
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: So if you had like a bunch of hair or
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: you had like a 50 pound test rope coming.
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: Out of there. Dude, would you ever shave your head
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: with a pumice stone? That would look, dude, do you
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: think he'll shave your head? One day when I have
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: children and once my wife leaves me.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: That's when you'll do it? Yeah, because then I'll go
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: to court for alimony. I'm like, oh, he's not doing good.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: We got to let him keep a little bit of money.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: Now, is that full? Is that all your real hair?
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. Dude, it's crazy, dude. You got great hair.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: I've been shedding recently this past month, dude.
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: Really? A lot of times people will shed in August
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: and September. So you didn't get that in Turkey? That's
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: your natural hair? Now, I've had hair taken out of
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: the back and put into the front once. Oh, good.
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: How did that feel? Faced in.
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: I don't think I needed it. I think I actually
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: was going through a ton of stress and I lost hair.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: And then it like a lot of it grew back.
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: And I liked it. The way it looks with a
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: hat is pretty good too. You look good. There's somebody,
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: somebody out there right now, a woman right there out
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: has bush has grown out her bush and cut it
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: like that. A hundred percent. I guarantee there's a lady
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: out there with pin straight pubic hair. She's probably most
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: likely Asian. They have the straightest hair. And she's made
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: it into that because she's a fan.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: That would be nice. Sometimes people come to shows and
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: they'll have fun wigs on and stuff.
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but if you had a woman that had that
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: just solid hair, I mean, that thing braided and it
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: looked like a damn, the chin of a professional wrestler
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: in the 80s or 90s.
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: And looking at you, I don't know if anyone's, and
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: stop me if anyone's ever said this before, but you
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: have the kind of look, you have a very unique
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: look where you look like you're from the past, but
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: also from the future at the same time. Has anyone
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: ever said that to you? Or have you ever thought
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: about that? Think about it. Think about it. People watching,
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: take a look at Theo. He looks like, you know,
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: obviously like could be in the Civil War, like a
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: Civil War painting from the past. But then he also
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: looks like a woman from the future.
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: Hey, girl.
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: Hey, girl.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: I look like a black woman from the future, dude.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: You do. Yo, it looks great. And I'm happy that
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: I'm seeing it now, dude.
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: Hey, sister. Yeah, bro.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: This bus is late. Hell yeah, dude. Where's my check?
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: I can't wait it's crazy man I'm happy we're doing this.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: Oh dude we used to have I remember there would
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: be like this drunk black woman where our school bus
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: would go by she would come up and bang on
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: the driver's side which is not even a door it's
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: just a window right for the driver of the bus
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: and she'd be like where's my check like that lady
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: was like the bus driver was supposed to bring like
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: her government money or whatever I was like what the
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: fuck is.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: Going on I don't have your check lady she'd yell
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: at us kids we'd be out looking out the window
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: because we'd be curious and she'd be like tell him motherfucker.
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: And were you supposed to have money in your pencil case?
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: We don't have any money. Yeah, dude, we're kids, man. Yo,
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: you want a bologna sandwich with no crust?
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: You think any of us have money? We all got
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: picked up within the same three blocks on this bus.
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: Bitcoin hit an all-time high of $ 124, 000 in August, which
• 22:59
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• 23:02
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• 23:07
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  Speaker 1: Sonic is bringing football fans the burger they deserve with
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• 25:24
  Speaker 1: once a week in the app through 9-28.
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: Gotta hurry. Offer ends 9-28. Oh, damn, dude.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: What's going on, dude? You have a show coming up
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: at Madison Square Garden.
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, the theater at Madison Square Garden was supposed
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: to be the arena, but then the ticket sales dictated
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: to go to the basement, baby. That's all right, baby. No,
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: you know what happened? I bit off more than I
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: could chew. About six months ago, I said, they came
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: to me, they're like, oh, show on September 11th. Ooh. Yeah.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: That's lit. That's lit. So they said, you know, want
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: to make it a day. So I said, I had
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: done 2023. I did Radio City and Theater at MSG
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: back to back night. So they were like, let's try
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: the arena, you know, cause I'm from New York. Yeah.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: And then the ticket sales, they were just not moving.
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: And like everybody, like I had an opportunity, I had
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: a decision. They were like, look, you could either wait.
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: We see a huge increase in ticket sales a week
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: before ish. That's the way the trends are now for
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: certain people. Or they were like, you can just pull
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: the plug right now and we can move it downstairs
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: to the theater. And I just said, you know what, man?
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: I know me. I know my brain. I know my heart.
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: I'm going to carry a lot of stress for six,
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: seven months. And I said, me doing the arena is
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: definitely a goal and a dream and we'll try again.
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: But a lot of it was just ego. So I
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: was like, move it to the theater. And now the
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: theater is all but sold out, and I haven't stressed
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: about it in six months. Family's gonna come, and then
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna detonate a suicide vest at the end of it.
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: Just take everybody down.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: You needed some sort of fireworks at the end. Also,
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: inviting people into the city on 9-11 is a wild move.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: It was a wild move, yeah. I made a ton
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: of mistakes, but I had a manager back then who
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: had a ponytail. So we were making wild moves back then.
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: So we're not together anymore. He's still my boy. But
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: I was like, yo, dude, because he told me he
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: booked me for this, the arena on 9-11. And then
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: he told me to hold 5 p.m. the same day
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: open because he thought I could do 15,000 seats at
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: a stadium in Forest Hills, Queens. So he thought I
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: could sell 30,000 tickets. And I sold like 2,000. But
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: he said it. But when he was saying it to me,
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: it was crazy because he's like, you know, obviously on Coke.
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: And he had the ponytail and the glasses on.
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: And he was wearing bathing suit shorts and like a
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: button up top. And it was December. And he was
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: eating a fruit cup. Yeah. And he was eating a
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: fruit cup. And he was like, you could do it, baby.
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: He was like, I know you could do it. I
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: know you could do it. So you get pumped up.
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: And then he put me on this arena tour. And
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: then we had to cancel them all.
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: So I like him. I respect him for really swinging.
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: But we have the same agent. But my agent was
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: telling me from the beginning, this is a dumb idea.
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: And I said, dude, look at him. He knows what
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: he's talking about. Look at his ponytails. sleek he uses
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: herbal essence.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: And then my agent was like all right dude the
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: guy has two barrettes yeah come on dude i was
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: like look at him he wears a child's headband yeah
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: dude this guy is legit i said i might fire
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: you and hire him and then after a week of
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: the ticket sales.
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: You know agent was like pull it yeah and then
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: he was like fire the master yeah so so we're
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: still cool that guy and i still i hope he's
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: still alive um but uh amazing but i'm at the
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: theater there and then uh But you know what, man?
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: It's one of those things. And my little daughter, well,
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: my older daughter, my 10-year-old, because I was a little
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: bummed about this because it was a big moment in
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: time for me. I was like, oh, daddy's going to
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: get to do the arena. I almost wanted to do
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: the arena at MSG because it would almost set me
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: free because that was my only real goal I've ever
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: had to do comedy. A lot of guys, you know, girls, babies,
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: they do comedy for all their different reasons. My only
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: reasons I ever left my physical therapy job was to
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: do the arena at MSG and to have a sitcom
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: about my father. Those are the only things I've ever
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: cared about. So I almost felt like if I could
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: get that one, it would almost set me free because
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: the everyday stress of this career, sometimes it plays with you.
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: Because you had the sitcom, right? Well, I had a
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: sitcom pilot. But still. I still have one in development now,
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: so I'm hoping that I could get that one and
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: just fulfill at least one of the two and then
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: set the sights on the arena because I don't know
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: that I'm a guy that does stand-up forever. I'm already
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: mentally being like, it's very difficult for me to go
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: on the road and be away from the family. When
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: I started this, I didn't have a family, but now
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: that I do, I'm like, Man, this weighing, so I'm
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: looking for real opportunities to just stay in New York,
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: you know that's where I live that's where my kids
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: are and my wife and kids so so but so
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: but my daughter what she told me was I guess
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: she had just learned it in school I was like
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: upset when we had to pull the arena because it
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: was like this whole big exciting thing for me your
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: daughter was upset well my daughter was well yeah because
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: I mean you know she's got upset because she has
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: to tell her friends in school like my dad's a
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: loser right so she had to say that so she
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: told them that but then she was like but she
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: said she said to me uh When I was upset
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: about it, she was like, oh, it's all right, Daddy.
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: She was like, remember, in this life, there's no losses,
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: just learning. And I was like, nice, that's it. Wow,
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: she said that? Well, I say my daughter, but it
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: was actually Giannis Pappas, who I do the History of
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: Hyena's podcast with. But he looks like my daughter. Oh, yeah.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: That's what's up. Yeah. Because my daughter looks like Marisa.
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: That's it. That's it. That was our first word. She went,
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: that's it. Yeah. So me and Giannis, we got the
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: History of Hyenas pod. And so... It's back. It's back, bro.
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: We came back about a year ago. That's it. Him
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: and I, you know, we kissed and made up. Well,
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: we 69'd each other.
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: And then.
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: And dude, this has been some of the most fun
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: I've had doing comedy again because it's... You're talking with
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: your friend about history, what I love. Oh, yeah. In
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: New York City, which I love. And it's a place
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: for me to stay in New York. And we really
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: just have a lot of fun doing the history. Oh,
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: he's so smart. Oh, well, I learned. That's the thing.
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: I like sitting next to someone where I'm actually learning
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: and laughing. That's it. That's it. I mean, really, the
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: premise of the show is, you know, we talk about
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: a history topic, but he typically knows much more than
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: I do, and I'm kind of learning through him and
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: peppering in jokes and all that stuff. But it's great.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, just getting to see you guys back together is great. Also,
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: just being like, I mean, I think you definitely realize
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: as you get older, it's like, you know, having some connectivity,
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: being around your friends is like one of the best things.
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: And this is out every week? Every single week. We
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: come out every Thursday.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: Awesome.
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: And my message is, is if me and Giannis could
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: patch it up, Israel, Palestine, so can y'all.
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: I saw the tagline actually for... History Hyena is now,
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: it says, two chat GPT sluts. Yeah, because it used
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: to be two Wikipedia sluts. That come see history in
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: a different way.
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that come see history in a different way. Two
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: chat GPT sluts that come see history in a different way.
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, dude.
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: And on our Patreon, I don't know if you guys
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: do Patreon here, but on our Patreon, dude, we've just been,
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: him and I have been going crazy because basically- you know,
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: when we first did this show, the rules on YouTube
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: were different, right? Like in 2017, 18, 19, YouTube wasn't
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: as strict as it is now. So we almost are
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: kind of feeling like the show that we used to
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: do for free on YouTube can only exist on the
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: Patreon and the show we do on YouTube is definitely dope.
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: But we are like, man, dude, we came out and
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: we put out these episodes that we thought were good
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: and YouTube just kept dinging us. So we're like, yo,
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: now we can only have fun on the Patreon. But
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: For me, man, I'm solely focused. I never had goals
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: in this, and I was always flying by the seat
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: of my pants, really, for my whole life. But now
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: I'm so laser-focused on anything I can do to stay
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: in New York City and make as many of pick-up
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: and drop-offs with my kids as possible. That's what I'm
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: looking for. Even if somebody came to me and said,
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: I'll give you X amount that'll change your life financially,
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: but it's a world tour, I would say no. I
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: would say I can't do it. Time has literally become
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: more valuable than money to me right now because I
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: think my kids reach that age where I'm like, oh,
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: when they're little, it's one thing. But when they're older
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: and you're missing everything, you're like, oh, okay, hold on,
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: hold on. What's the priorities here?
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: And you like the kids. I think if the kids
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: hit four or six years old and you're like, uh-uh.
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, dude. I got a buddy, his son, right? And
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: bless him.
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: Bless him. Benjamin, that's my buddy's name. And his son,
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: he named his son fucking Benjamin. I'm like, you fucking loser.
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: He didn't even think about it.
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: What a dick. He didn't even think about it.
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: The wife was unconscious or whatever because the birth was,
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: it's a black guy and he's like, yeah, it was
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: a hot birth. And he's like, just give him Benjamin,
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: you know? And he goes, and I'll change my name.
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: And the nurse is like, no, you don't, that's not
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: how you do it. Like he thought you could do it.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: Like if he names a kid Benjamin, then he's not
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: Benjamin anymore. I'm like, this fucking guy should not have
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: a kid.
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: But yeah, he's at the point now he's like, dude,
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: me and my kid have nothing in common. I'm like, dude,
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: it's not how it works. It's not like you got
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: put with a roommate. Like, your first year at like
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: nickel state or something. I mean, you're just doing your,
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: you know, you have to be the leader in the relationship, but,
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: but yeah, I think if you get to a certain
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: point and your kid is just like, you know, he's
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: not doing at least pulling a little bit of weight, it's.
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: Gotta be kind of tough. Well, that's the thing. Well,
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: like I said, my daughters are, you know, they're motivated.
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: As I said, in the beginning of the show, I mean,
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: my four year old has got, you know, a point
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: of view. She calls legitimate says I'm, racist against Latinos
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: and I call ICE on my own family. For me,
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: it's country first and I trust, I love, I mean,
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: every password on my phone, on my key lock, any,
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: you want to break it to my house or break
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: it to anything I own, you want my bank pin password,
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: you know what the only four digits that it would
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: ever be. You know what they are. 0000. 1776, baby,
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: the year of this country and my daughter, my little one,
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: takes that and then my older one, you know, like
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: I said, she's more Latina. Extortion. Extortion, gang violence, things
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: like that and they are And they've picked lanes, which
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: I really respect and love. I like that. But there
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: is a little division because obviously the older one is
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: pro-Palestine and the little one is pro-Israel. I like that shit.
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: Well, I think here's one thing, dude, is a lot
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: of Latinos too. I saw– actually, one of your daughters
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: sent me a picture and the pro-Ice one.
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah. She's had a tattoo on her back that said,
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: this ice don't melt on me. Yes. Yo, for real.
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: It's crazy, right? It's very risque. But you know what, dude? Bro,
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: you know what's crazy? We've been doing this for roughly
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: an hour, and you've said risque three times in three
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: different contexts, which I respect and like about you, and
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: I've always liked that about you.
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: Well, first of all, risque also was a urban girl
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: that I went to high school with. And I hope
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: she's doing well, risque Wilson. There was two kids that
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: I went to high school with. They were brothers. Their
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: names were Majestic and Scientific Map.
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: Nuh-uh.
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: Well, I didn't go to school with them, but they
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: played basketball in a school around the time I was
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: playing basketball, and those were two interesting brothers' names. I
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: love that. You like that? Yeah, I just love that...
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: I think in black culture, anything could be your name.
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: That's true. Like, we get, like, one out of about
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: 110 names.
• 35:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: But in black culture, it could be... It's fucking... Dude,
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: the guy on the Jets was named DeBrickshaw. Yeah. DeBrickshaw Ferguson.
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: His first name was DeBrickshaw. I met a girl, her.
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: Her son was named no Dante, right? She's like, I
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: was going to name him Dante, but I knew he
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: was going to be misbehaving. So I wanted to put
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: no in front of him. Yo, like that's freaking genius, man. Um,
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: let's talk a little bit about what's going on in
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: New York. I know right now you guys have mom, Donnie.
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: Do you think he'll be able to, he's running for mayor, right?
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: He's probably going to win too for mayor. He is.
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: But that's why I've packed up and left New York city.
• 36:30
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: Well, I live in the suburbs. Okay. So you've already left.
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: What's that heat up there? Like what's like, what's going on?
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: Do you notice any of it in the air or not?
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: Um, I think, Mamdani, you notice that people are starting,
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: the New York Post, which is the only one I
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: mess with, the New York Post really goes after him hard. Oh,
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: they do. So there's a little bit of fear-mongering, I think,
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: amongst the media. I do think that he probably has
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: good intentions, but I think, like most of us think,
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: is that New York City is a city that you
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: need millionaires and billionaires in. And if you drive them
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: all out with the tax hikes, then you're just going
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: to lose the city. So I think that's the fear.
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: I think I understand what he wants with people should
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: pay their, everybody should pay more fair taxes. I'm all
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: with that. But he has an idea of raising the
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: millionaire's tax, millionaires, billionaires, to a level that they're just,
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: because I know it's easy for people to say, oh,
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: but they have so much money. It's like, yeah, but
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: that's their mindset, how they got so much money. They
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: never thought like that. So you're not going to change
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: Some like 55-year-old white dude's mindset, like he's about that money.
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: So if you want him to stay and keep contributing
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: to the tax burden, you got to make it appetizing
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: for him or he's just going to go to Florida
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: or Tennessee or somewhere else, or she or they.
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: Well, let me establish him a little bit. So Zoran,
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: he is, what ethnicity is he?
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: Pakistani, I think, is he, or Indian? Zoran. You don't
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: want to mess that up because Pakistan and India are-
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: We don't want to mess with the Zoran. You don't, no.
• 38:06
  Speaker 3: No.
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: No way.
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, there's Mamdani. He was born in Kampala, Uganda. Yeah,
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: to an Indian family. Okay, Zoran Mamdani, the Democratic nominee
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: for New York City mayor and current assembly member, centers
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: his politics on affordability, social security nets, freeze rents on
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: rent-stabilized units, and triple affordable housing construction, aiming for 200,000
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: new units in 10 years. Increased enforcement against exploitive landlords
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: and established an office of deed theft prevention for homeowners,
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: especially in black and Latinx neighborhoods, Alphabet City. Double funding
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: for public housing preservation. Distribute baby baskets with essential goods
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: and resources to all New York City parents. Increased New
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: York City minimum wage to $ 30 an hour by 2030.
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: So he definitely kind of has this like for the
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: little man perspective.
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what he's thinking about for the little man,
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: which I respect, but I just don't know if New
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: York City is the city for it. I just, I
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: don't know. I honestly don't. The thing is, I really
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: don't know. All this stuff is above my head. I've
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: just left the city. All right, so you're out. Well,
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: because- Do you think the city changed over time? My
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: girl wanted to leave, and she's Latina. That's the thing.
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: It's like people think, I think people think like, oh,
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: you know, the media has made everyone think like the
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: white people are just the worst and we're the only
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: ones who, you know, don't want this or that. But
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: it's like, yo, the Latinas, bro, if you've ever put
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: like a Google Translate at a Puerto Rican barbecue, whoo.
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: They're unhappy? I mean, bro, you'd be like, okay, Senor Hitler.
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Like they go in. Against Israel? Everybody. Everybody.
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: Oh, they... Everybody catches it from the Latinos. Oh, the
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: Latinos have a lot of... They have some racism a
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: little bit.
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: That's good to know because you kind of don't know
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: if they do sometimes.
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: They do. Like, you know there's, like, black and Latino
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: gang violence? Yeah. But you don't hear much about it otherwise,
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: you know? But that's good. Yeah, black guys, old school
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: black guys, very racist. Yeah, everybody's kind of racist, man.
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: You could, you know... Well, people are tribal, too. It's like.
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: That's what it is, tribalism. Everybody wants to make it all...
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: It's like, you know, there's, like... There's a lot of
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: black crime in places. I'm not racist because I don't
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: want to be in some of those places. I got
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: a friend one time who was trying to get me
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: to come to this clothing shop that they had.
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: And there's a lot of crime there.
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: And it's young black kids attacking people, stealing, carjacking and shit.
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: I'm not going– it's like I'm not– it's like that
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: doesn't make me racist. I just want to preserve my
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: own life. I'm just trying to live, baby.
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: But I think more and more now from, again, the
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: little– just talking to people, not on the internet, just
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: like in real life of every race. More people getting
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: sick of it. More people like, yo, let's move past
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: it now. Not everything's got to be racist, sexist. I
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: think the Me Too, not the Me Too, the pandemic,
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: I think it like kind of, it hit its fever
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: pitch and now it kind of like broke. And it's
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: just like, people are like, I'm exhausted by that. Don't
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: talk to me about that. Yeah, I agree.
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: I think people see that it's also like this thing
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: that they try to get like different political groups to
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: fight over. It's all a smirk. It's all like, hey,
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: fight over this shit while everything else disappears. Like, you
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying?
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: So people are getting, starting to get to know about
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: it now.
• 41:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: But I think it's interesting to have guys that are
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: different get it. I'm always the underdog fan, right?
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: I'm always the underdog fan. Yeah, well, he's not the underdog, though.
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: I think it's pretty clear he's going to win. I mean,
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: you've got Governor Cuomo, who— Who's running against him, right?
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: Who's running against him. It's a runoff, right? Who killed
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: all those people in the nursing home. So he keeps
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: trying to get Mamdani into a nursing home so he
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: can murk him. You've got Curtis Silwa, who's got the beret,
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: which I would vote for him. I understand, but I
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: can't—he won't take his hat off. Let me see. Bring
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: up Silwa on that hat.
• 41:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Silwa.
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: So that's the problem is Silwa won't take the hat off.
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: So I can't have you as my mayor with that
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: hat on. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like I just,
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: if he took the hat off, I think he'd get
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: more votes, but he refused. He wears the full suit
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: with that hat on.
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: And he's kind of like the muffin man.
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: Let's get a look. Let's get a little bit more
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: of him. Can we get some audio on him?
• 42:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: Lyft and Uber, and they are.
• 42:14
  Speaker 3: constantly being threatened with perverts who come up to them,
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: sexually harass them.
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: Men, for the most part, don't.
• 42:21
  Speaker 3: Have that issue. Pat, I'm in all 350 neighborhoods, all
• 42:24
  Speaker 3: 472 of the platforms in the vast city subway system.
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: I'm the only candidate in this subway area.
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: What are you talking about?
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: He acts like, what is he, the fucking, is he
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: the lord of DoorDash drivers? There's no way he's in
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: all those places, dude.
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: Could you imagine?
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: He looks like fucking, he looks like Isidore Dash, dude.
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: He looks like the great chancellor of DoorDashian. Dude, and
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: he's just yelling about perverts and Hoovers. Dude, they should
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: have a show called Keeping Up with the DoorDashians.
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yo, that'd be crazy, dude. We should make that.
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: Should we pitch that? Yeah, I think we should. Let's
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: just do it. Let's just do it. Keep it up
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: with the DoorDashians. And it's just a.
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: Family that DoorDashes, and they're just pissed about it. They're like, oh,
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: I'm taking these rich motherfuckers on the Upper East Side.
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: It's fucking like, oh, I just delivered Ben Stiller some
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: tater tots, you know? They're just fucking pissed at everybody.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: They're like, oh, Dershowitz wants his waffle fries shaped into
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: a kid's pelvis, you know?
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: You're like, that seems a little risque. Yo, this is
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: the fourth time. Risqué. Oh, it does. Dude, I love it, man.
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: Keep it going. Thank you. Let's get a counter up there.
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: Keeping up with the Dardashians is a hit show, bro.
• 43:38
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: See, that's what I'm saying, dude. You think your mind
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: is not there. You keep saying your mind needs these
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: little mental resets, and that's how you're able to get
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: such good bits, and you're taking little breaks, which is
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: what more people should do. You take little breaks. That's
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: what I was saying. This old, that old dude that
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: I was telling you about, about the muffin, who told
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: me he doesn't stress about the muffin, he told me,
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: He's 98 years old because he takes little breaks. He
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: was like, oh, when you put your kid in the
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: car seat, put in the car seat, instead of just
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: going right back to the driver's seat. Close the door.
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: Yell some slurs. Right. Breathe deep. Drive the car into
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: a garage, shut the door, keep the engine running, and
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: then you leave.
• 44:15
  Speaker 3: No.
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: He said, take a long walk around the car. Take
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: five seconds to breathe and reset. You got your baby
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: safe in the car seat. And then don't just jump
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: right in the driver's seat and start driving. Take five
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: seconds the long way. Find little breaks throughout the day.
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: And that's what you do. You take little breaks. I
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: like it. Like resetsism instead of racism, resetsism. Resetsism. Or
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: like recidivism, but it's reseticism. I like it. You know
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: what I'm saying, dude? Thanks, dude. Get a little reset. Reset.
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: I haven't seen you in like two years. I know, man.
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: It's crazy, dude. I can't believe that it's been that long,
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: you know? I think time just gets like kind of
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: going and then things get kind of hectic.
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: Are you home or you're on the road? Is your
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: goal to stay home like my goal is to stay home?
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: It is now. I've been on the same tour for
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: almost four years. So you're off it now. We're taping
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: a special in New York at the Beacon. Beacon. Best theater.
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: You're doing it for Netflix, Al Jazeera, Hulu. Netflix. I
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: would do for Al Jazeera. They didn't make an offer, but, uh,
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: I'm going to Saudi Arabia. I could hit them up.
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: You're going to that comedy festival. Should I have not?
• 45:19
  Speaker 3: Hold on. No, no, no.
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: That's great. Let's get into that in a second. Um,
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: but no, yeah.
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: So we got that coming up and then I don't know.
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: I'm part of me wants to maybe do a show
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: like in Hawaii just so I can also go on vacation.
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: But then part of me is like, I just don't know. Like, Like,
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: I started, like, yeah, like, lose. I just, like, recently, like,
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: I just, like, I think my nervous system's just shot,
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: you know?
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: But do you like being home, like, here? Like, do
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: you like being in the... Or do you like to
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: travel still? Oh, yeah, it's nice. No, I do like it.
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: I like being home. And I want to be able
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: to do more creative stuff. Like, you know.
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to see if Drewski wants to try to
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: do something together. Me and Spade made a movie that
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: we're going to put out. We're editing right now. So
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: there's a bunch of little things that I'm trying to do,
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: you know?
• 45:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: Dude, you and Drewski would just do it like Drewski
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: would just be that character. You guys could just be brothers.
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: You could do Keeping Up with the Dordashians as a movie.
• 46:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: And you two are the Dordashians. I think you want
• 46:12
  Speaker 2: to find a family that likes the Dordash. Right. And
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: it's a family affair.
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: And it's Keeping Up with the Dordashians.
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: Or it's just like these funny, like, You know, and
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: the baby's in the backseat and he's eating a couple
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: of the tots or something.
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: Tots, yeah. Dude, one of the guys who works with
• 46:25
  Speaker 2: me is actually, I'm doing Chicago tomorrow and he's going
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: to work with me on the show. He does DoorDash
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: in his spare time and there's been multiple times where
• 46:32
  Speaker 2: he's done DoorDash orders while I'm on stage. He does
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: his time. And then he knows he's got about an
• 46:38
  Speaker 2: hour while I'm up there and he does some DoorDash.
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: The kid's hustling. He's told me too what the trick
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: is too. Like they all eat for free, the DoorDash drivers,
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: because like, you know, when they get hungry, they'll just
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: eat somebody's McDonald's or KFC order and then just kind
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: of never deliver it and then let them take it
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: up with DoorDash, and DoorDash will usually just refund their
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: money and then reorder it, but they ate the food.
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: He said there's no system. It's not like they know, oh,
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: this guy, this driver took... They just line up the
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: DoorDash deliveries, and you just take it, and you take
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: the receipt, and no one's checking. No one's scanning you
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: as the driver in, so you can do whatever you
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: want to the food that's not connected.
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: That's how you show the man right there, dude. Now,
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: somebody doesn't get fed. Somebody and their kids do not
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: get fed. They're splitting up a yogurt or something at home,
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: which is... It's tough to do, dude.
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: But my boy's point was the drivers don't make any
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: money either. He's making like $ 8 an hour. So he's like,
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: what about him? Now I got to eat your food.
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: Some people, they love doing DoorDash. It's fun. Oh, here's
• 47:35
  Speaker 2: some stats right here. Let me see. A U.S.
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: Food survey found that nearly 30% of food delivery drivers,
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: including those on DoorDash, admit to taking a bite of
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: food from customers' orders at least once.
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: Dude, Mark Norman will take a bite out of your food.
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: I've seen him do that multiple times at the Comedy Cellar. Oh,
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: potato skin. Juice.
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: He's the fucking best is he number one or what
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: you guys i think y'all's personalities in new york are
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: so fun dude louis was just in town jim norton
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: was here yeah did you have louis and jim come
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: on the show yeah yeah and it was just like.
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: Oh dude jim norton jim norton i i've been you
• 48:12
  Speaker 2: know when i met each other by jim norton opie
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: and anthony dude you would go way back And then
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: half the people we used to do the show with
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: are dead, bro. Everybody's just dropping dead. Vic Henley. Yep.
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: Chef Carl Ruiz. Damn, sucks. But, you know, rest in peace.
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: But Jim, dude, this bit, him and Anthony Cumia did
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: this bit the other day that, oh, my. I mean, they, like, reposted.
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: I had to text Jim, like, I almost crashed my car.
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: from laughing because by the way, like, you know, love
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: this pod, but you know how like we do this,
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: like this is our profession. And even sometimes comedy can't
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: be as cathartic for us as it is for the audience,
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: because like we get stuck in, in, in, you know,
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: if you listen to some dope comedian or like you laugh,
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: but you're like, man, you kind of have this self-reflection,
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: like I should be better, blah, blah, blah. Uh, Jim
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: Norton's got a new pod called, uh, Jim Norton's pod,
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: Can't Save You. And it's, I listen to it like
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: I'm an audience member. Like it's it's my cathartic like
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: I wait each week I listen to the episodes when
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: they have the episodes on that an episode old school
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: one with Colin Quinn and Rich Voss and Where it's
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: like that old Opie and Anthony energy, like from the
• 49:27
  Speaker 2: early 2000s. It just hits me in a way where
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, this is the gift of comedy. Like
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: I was going, you know, if you're going through stuff
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: in your life, you're depressed, you're sad, you need to laugh.
• 49:36
  Speaker 2: That's the part I go to. I'm going to start
• 49:38
  Speaker 2: listening to that. Jim Norton can't save you. To me,
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: it's like Jim in all his glory. But this bit,
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: I came across it and I was dying. I kissed
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: my friend's grandmother, which I know is right. And it
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: was like, it was like a little peck in our lips.
• 49:52
  Speaker 3: And, uh, I'd be lying.
• 49:54
  Speaker 2: Those lips were thinner and drier. Give a little contest.
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: I would be lying if I said I wasn't turned on.
• 50:03
  Speaker 2: I was a little turned on. Oh, I like the
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: taste of Geritol. I couldn't do anything about it because
• 50:13
  Speaker 2: I'm like, you know, then they close the lid. That's awesome.
• 50:23
  Speaker 2: That's my, you know, I don't know when I said
• 50:25
  Speaker 2: close the lid. I just it just hit me because
• 50:28
  Speaker 2: I thought the bit was just about kissing his grandma.
• 50:31
  Speaker 2: And but that's the kind of humor, you know, that
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: I like. And I used to it used to be
• 50:36
  Speaker 2: one of those things where, you know, I understand the
• 50:39
  Speaker 2: subjectivity of comedy now and how. If I think it's
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: really funny and you don't or vice versa, that's just okay.
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: I used to get upset if I saw not the
• 50:48
  Speaker 2: whole audience laughing, where now I'm just like, oh, okay.
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: Comedy can't be for everybody. Everybody's comedy can't be for
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: everybody all the time. So I'm accepting of that now.
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, just like this is where I'm... Yeah, if I'm
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: still trying to make something for everybody, then that's not
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: going to be great.
• 51:03
  Speaker 3: No.
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: Trying to just be true to myself the best I can. Yeah,
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: but those guys are.
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: I mean... Right?
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: Those guys are funny at a level that's way funnier
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: than I feel like... I mean, way funnier than I'll
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: ever be and way funnier than I think we are now.
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: I think you always feel like the generation before you
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: is funnier.
• 51:20
  Speaker 2: Well, like if you sit at the comedy cell and
• 51:21
  Speaker 2: you ever get stuck at the back table with Jim Norton,
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: Colin Quinn, Rich Voss, those guys, and they start hammering
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: jokes and then it comes to you... And nine times
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: out of 10, I don't have anything to say. And
• 51:32
  Speaker 2: then you just get abused. And you realize, hey, with
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: this game, it's ticket sales, money, fame, fortune, all those
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: things are whatever. There's a part of it that's great,
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: but it's like just pound for pound. I've never seen
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: a group that can hit it like those guys hit it.
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: I've never seen a group that that 90s, 2000s, tough crowd,
• 51:51
  Speaker 2: New York. Keith Robinson. Yep, Keith Robinson, all those guys,
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: old school, Nick DiPaolo, Patrice O'Neal passed away. You know,
• 51:58
  Speaker 2: I never met Patrice, but he was, you know, obviously amazing. Geraldo,
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: those old school New York guys. Can't even imagine. Yeah,
• 52:05
  Speaker 2: because there was a time where I was like, you know, people,
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: you know. And Schumer was in there. She was so funny.
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: She was with that crew, yeah. I mean, she was
• 52:15
  Speaker 2: so good. You know, and now I feel like with comedy,
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: I feel like, you know, it's just things are different now.
• 52:22
  Speaker 2: And I just feel like got to just do it.
• 52:25
  Speaker 2: You know, we have like these niche little audiences. I've
• 52:28
  Speaker 2: convinced myself at times to try to be happier with less.
• 52:33
  Speaker 2: You know, I'm trying. Dude, I was getting a massage
• 52:35
  Speaker 2: the other day, and.
• 52:38
  Speaker 2: And it was by a man. I prefer a man
• 52:39
  Speaker 2: a lot of times. 100%. I don't, like... But he
• 52:42
  Speaker 2: doesn't do the happy ending, though. You don't go that
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: far with a guy. I don't let anybody.
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: I'm not driving across town so some loser can jerk
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: me off when I can do it myself at home.
• 52:51
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to do it.
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: And no offense, if you're a masseuse, you're not a
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: loser or whatever. I don't mean that. I just mean, like,
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: the places I go, it's not like... Nobody's been to
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: a school or, like, in a beauty school. You know,
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: there's not a hot rock in the room unless it's fucking...
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: Unless it's in an eight ball in somebody's pocket.
• 53:06
  Speaker 2: You know, there's no.
• 53:07
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 53:07
  Speaker 2: It's not that kind of shit.
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: It's just like the light bulbs kind of work and
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: somebody will fucking run up your back. You don't know
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: if it's a bug or a little Vietnamese woman.
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: Dude. But it helps you relax. Same thing. Yeah. No,
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: I'm kidding. And then it'll help you relax. No, dude,
• 53:23
  Speaker 2: I had an uncle who fought in the war.
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: Oh, dude, I don't give a shit. I haven't decided
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: what side I'm on.
• 53:28
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 53:28
  Speaker 2: But here's the thing.
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: It's like, I went in there and the guy, I
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: paid him up front. This guy is such a great guy.
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: And I go to two massage places. There's one in
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: Westwood that I go to in Los Angeles. It's called
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: Siri Foot Spa.
• 53:43
  Speaker 2: And it's amazing. And then there's one in Nashville that
• 53:45
  Speaker 2: I go to called Crest Foot Spa. Nice. Why does
• 53:48
  Speaker 2: it have to be a foot spa? Like what is
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: that about a foot spa? Because you just get the
• 53:52
  Speaker 2: feet done? No, but I'm just saying if they'll get
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: into your feet, they'll get into the rest of you.
• 53:55
  Speaker 2: That's true, dude. You know what I'm saying?
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: If you start with how, you know, they say you
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: don't know a man until you walk a mile in
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: his shoes. But if you're able to knuckle the history
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: out of a man's feet, then you know a man.
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: Yes, sir. My toes, I got my toe next to
• 54:09
  Speaker 2: my big toe just crosses over like that. They're called
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: hammer toes. And I was telling my wife, I was like,
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: I need a paternity test on that baby. And I
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: was saying it like that. While she was giving birth,
• 54:18
  Speaker 2: I was like, I need to know that mind. Oh,
• 54:20
  Speaker 2: for sure. Yeah. And I kept saying that. And then
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: they slapped me. She slapped me. my girl in the
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: middle of the childbirth, and she was like, look at
• 54:30
  Speaker 2: that baby's feet. And then my daughter has the same
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: toes as me, dude. They're crossed over. What's that? That's
• 54:38
  Speaker 2: what it is. So my daughter, so I feel bad
• 54:40
  Speaker 2: because my daughter, because my wife's feet are very flat,
• 54:43
  Speaker 2: like a Princess Fiona foot, and then my toes are
• 54:46
  Speaker 2: crossed over. And I'm just hoping that my daughters don't
• 54:49
  Speaker 2: have a mix of both our feet, because girls should
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: have nice feet. Guys, it doesn't matter if your feet are.
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: My feet look like they're on the wrong leg. Like
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: my right foot's on my left and my left foot's
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: on my right.
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: That's what it feels like. Yeah, you got toes in
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: different area colors, but you got shit hidden.
• 55:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's bad. Yeah, somebody gives you directions, you're still fucked. Yeah,
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: my feet will go the wrong way. It's like you
• 55:11
  Speaker 2: never get wet your iPhone and it's like you're hitting
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: a thing and it's going over there. That's what my
• 55:15
  Speaker 2: feet are. They're like wet iPhones. Yeah, you're like soaking
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: your feet in rice at night. Yeah, yes. Trying to
• 55:21
  Speaker 2: get them calibrated. Yeah, dude. But yo, I need to
• 55:26
  Speaker 2: start working on the massages and the care part of
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: my- You gotta do it, man. Can't just go in
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: and do push-ups, pull-ups, and sit-ups at our age anymore.
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: It's like- you need the care. You need a massage
• 55:36
  Speaker 2: a week, is it? Is that what the numbers are
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: for you? Yeah, I'll do two.
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: Like right now this week, I'm trying to get extra ones.
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: Just like I got a couple of busy weeks coming up.
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: And so I just got to like, now's the time
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: I got to tap in and just see if I can,
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: you know, make sure I'm taking care of myself. And
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: I'm fortunate enough to be able to do it right.
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: Like I know some guys, they have families, they're working
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: every day, you know, like, you know, they work like
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: daytime hours. So it's hard to find time to go.
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: So yeah, I just feel lucky that I'm able to
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: go do it. But yeah, I like to go into
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: that joint where it's low key, dude. They used to
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: have a place in, L.A., give or do $ 40, two
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: Viettes would fucking beat the shit out of you.
• 56:07
  Speaker 3: Yo.
• 56:08
  Speaker 2: With the fucking nose. Vietcongs? Oh, I don't know. I
• 56:11
  Speaker 2: didn't see their cocks, but I knew. Like, one of
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: them looked heavy.
• 56:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: Or he looked like his stomach was tight because it
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: was moving around a big cock. You ever see somebody
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: like that?
• 56:18
  Speaker 2: 100%, dude.
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: Like, not even in good shape, but you see their abs.
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: I'm like, what the fuck? And then you see, like, oh,
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: he's fucking, he's carrying, you know. Yeah.
• 56:25
  Speaker 2: He's got a couple pallets full on him. Kobayashi, the
• 56:27
  Speaker 2: hot dog eating champion, he was always shredded because he
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: had that, you know.
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: He's got that thing on him, you think? He's got
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: that 100%. He's got that Nathan's. Oh, that Nathan's is
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: long and lean.
• 56:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, full of nitrates.
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: There's a reason why UFC fighters always win at punch
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: buggy on a family road trip. Just like there's a
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: reason why Morgan & Morgan is America's largest injury law firm.
• 56:54
  Speaker 2: Because they both got that dog in them.
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: With over $ 25 billion recovered, For over 500,000 clients, Morgan
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: & Morgan has a proven track record of fighting to
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• 57:13
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• 57:18
  Speaker 1: company's original offer of $ 650, 000.
• 57:19
  Speaker 3: Yep.
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: When you're hiring the wrong law firm, you may be
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: beat before you start. All law firms are not the same.
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan & Morgan.
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: Their fee is free unless they win. For more information,
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: you can go to ForThePeople.com slash Theo or dial pound law,
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• 57:48
  Speaker 1: Theo or pound LAW pound five to nine from your cell.
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: This is a paid advertisement.
• 57:55
  Speaker 2: Yo, I knew you weren't going to, I knew, I
• 57:57
  Speaker 2: knew you weren't in LA. You were an LA guy,
• 58:01
  Speaker 2: but I knew that you were going to come back home.
• 58:03
  Speaker 2: I knew you were going to come back home.
• 58:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 58:05
  Speaker 2: Cause I feel like, I just feel like you, um,
• 58:10
  Speaker 2: you belong here. I'm not from here. No, no, but
• 58:13
  Speaker 2: in the, Oh, in the realm here. Yes. Oh yeah. Yeah, man,
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: I think you're right. You belong in like a 200-mile radius,
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: and it's here. I feel really nice here. I feel
• 58:23
  Speaker 2: lucky to be here.
• 58:24
  Speaker 1: I do feel like Tennessee is like a place that's caring.
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: It feels more normal, and it's fun. And it's like,
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: I don't know, everything doesn't feel like it's for sale anymore.
• 58:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like it feels there's a genuineness to it all
• 58:43
  Speaker 2: here where not everything is about entertainment here. You know
• 58:46
  Speaker 2: what I mean? Like you're an entertainer, but your neighbor's
• 58:49
  Speaker 2: probably not. Where in L.A., your neighbor probably is, or
• 58:52
  Speaker 2: if they weren't at some point, they wanted to be.
• 58:55
  Speaker 2: So it's a tough thing to always be around that.
• 58:59
  Speaker 1: Well, in Hollywood, I think, I mean, Hollywood's even losing
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: a lot of the film industry. Bring up what's causing
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: production to leave Los Angeles.
• 59:06
  Speaker 2: Tax credits, AI. um earthquakes tsunamis dude beverly hills looks
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: like saudi arabia.
• 59:15
  Speaker 1: Um let me see states like georgia new mexico and
• 59:18
  Speaker 1: nevada plus countries such as canada and the uk offer
• 59:21
  Speaker 1: healthier tax incentives uh the cost of living and operating
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: in los angeles has significantly increased Hollywood endured major strikes
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: because of, and a lot of that's because of greed.
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: The aftermath of COVID-19, which a lot of them helped
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: push through the fucking celebrities and bullshit. So it's nice
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: just to see a lot of this shit coming back
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: and to bite people in the ass. Studios are cutting
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: production budgets and scaling back local projects due to declining
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: streaming numbers, reduced programming by networks, and a fall in
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: box office revenues.
• 59:51
  Speaker 2: Wildfires.
• 59:52
  Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, they, dude, the fact that they didn't
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: even have water in that reservoir the fact that there's
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: issues with like hundreds of millions of dollars they raised
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 1: from fire aid that's not even going to people that
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 1: it's like what is even going on that place just
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: feels like such a scam and i think people with
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: uh heartbeats are starting to kind of realize it and
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: now i don't mean like that's just hollywood i'm saying
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: i'm not talking about the people really that are there
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: i mean they know what who i'm talking about but
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: it's not like the everyday people that's just there that's hustling,
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: that love their neighborhoods and shit.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 2: I'm not talking about that. Right, right. Yeah, yeah. LA OGs.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I'm just talking about how Hollywood, how they're losing
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: that industry. And yeah, and maybe some guy like Mamdani
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: will come along there and they'll start to like, You know,
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: it'd be nice to see eventually that people that don't
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: have all the means get to have more of the things,
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: you know?
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 2: Right, right. Because it starts to get gluttonous and it
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 2: starts to get kind of sick. Well, it starts and
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 2: then you look back at history. That's why I love
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 2: history so much and do the history pod because you
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 2: look back at like the French Revolution, right, in the 1790s.
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 2: That's what happened, man, is the wage gap started to
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 2: get crazy and the rich just kept getting richer and
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 2: then they just stormed the Bastille. And they cut off
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 2: the king and queen's head. Marie Antoinette let him eat cake,
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 2: but she supposedly didn't say that. Well, she definitely didn't
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 2: say that. And then they cut off the king, King
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 2: Louis' dome piece. In the beginning, if you've ever seen
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 2: the movie Napoleon with Joaquin Phoenix, that's the first scene
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 2: that they show. And that wage gap is starting to
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 2: broaden just like them days now. Dude, I want to
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 2: be on a horse with the revolutionaries.
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: And I know that I've made money in my life now,
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: and it's different, but I'll never have money in my heart. And, yeah,
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 1: I want to do some things towards the end of
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: this year and next year that are going to start
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: to create ways to give back, help people figure things out.
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 2: You should buy your whole neighborhood solar roofs, solar panel
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 2: Tesla roofs. No, people in my neighborhood are fine. They'll
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 2: be okay. Go buy in the hood then. They don't.
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: What are you going to fucking charge their guns at night? No,
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: but I think there is great ways.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 2: But I don't know.
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: I thought about going back to my old neighborhood. We
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: got a bunch of cool stuff in the coffers and
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 1: some of that's just jokes.
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 2: Dude.
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 1: Did you see that Ro Khanna, he's a Democratic congressman
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 1: from California.
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: And Thomas Massey, who's like the. who drove here in
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: a truck that he lives in, parked it outside. I'm
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: in that bitch drinking fucking raw milk with him that
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 1: he got out of a goat by his home.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah. Did you get sick after?
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: I mean, I didn't get well. My eyes wouldn't open
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: that far in the morning. They opened, but just not
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: that far. But, um, but anyway, they come up with
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: this petition. Uh, it's a bipartisan effort. It says right here,
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: And the U.S. House of Representatives launched in September to
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: force a vote on releasing all federal files related to
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: the Jeffrey Epstein case. The petition takes the form of
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 1: a discharge petition, which allows a resolution or bill to
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 1: bypass regular committee procedures and be brought directly to the
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 1: House for a vote. I mean, don't you think it's
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 1: crazy that they won't release this? What do you, like,
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 1: do you have a take on what do you think
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 1: is going on with all this?
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 2: With the Epstein stuff?
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, it just seems like, how could they not, like,
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 1: Does it feel like our government is protecting pedophiles to you?
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 2: I mean, probably. But again, I don't know because there's
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 2: so much mismatch. Like there's so many... things happening here.
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 2: So you look here and vice versa that I really
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 2: don't know because, you know, the whole thing was about
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 2: those missing second or second or one or two seconds
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 2: of the Epstein tape. And then they just, the government
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 2: just released the tape unedited and there's nothing that happens
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 2: in those two seconds. So there's nobody that came in
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 2: or came out of it. Now, could there be some
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 2: more advanced technology? We don't even know about that. They're
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 2: just making things happen probably, but I don't know. I
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 2: really don't know. I try to, there are times where
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 2: I find myself going down a rabbit hole of it.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 2: And then I try to take myself out and say,
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 2: how does that, even if they are protecting pedophiles, how
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 2: does that help me or hurt me in any way,
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 2: shape or form? It's like, dude, just go make your
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 2: kid an avocado toast. Yeah. Just go literally try to.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 2: Do the next right thing. I just try to, I
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 2: try to make it small. I try to make my
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 2: life small now, man. I'm like, yeah, I don't know, dude,
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 2: I don't know Epstein. I don't know Trump. I've never
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 2: met these people. So I can't have them affecting my
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 2: life on a daily basis. I'm like, what are my
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 2: kids going to do, man? I'm like, you know, like.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 2: That's what's important. Should I help? Yeah. How can I
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 2: help my kids learn? You know, we, my stepson can't,
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 2: you know, he's, the way he throws a baseball, it's like,
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 2: we got to fix that. Oh yeah. You know, my daughter,
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 2: you know, she wants to do cheerleading and she keeps
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 2: falling off the pyramid. So I'm like, you know, man,
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 2: I want to do, I want to, I want to
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 2: get into this, but I'm also like, I don't have time, dude.
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 2: Like my, one of my kids is eight years old
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 2: and still in a diaper. So I got to fix that.
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean? So that's what I do.
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 2: And either none of us do it or all of
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 2: us do it. That's what I say. I tell my,
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 2: you know, I don't tell my kids that. But I
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 2: tell my kids other gems where I'm like, do the
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 2: right thing even if nobody's looking. Do the right thing.
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 2: You do the right thing even when no one's looking.
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 2: Like Spike Lee. Exactly. So you do the right thing
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 2: even when no one's looking. So, you know what I mean?
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 2: And that's what my daughter, I think that's what my
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 2: daughter does. I mean, you know, with the whole ice stuff.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: Oh, I think it's obviously at least she's involved in
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: she has some political or social awareness that's what i'm
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 1: saying i don't right but you you have to make
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: time so that they do.
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 2: Exactly so i keep the space.
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna pivot right here i want to talk about
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: uh you because last time you were on we had
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 1: an extensive conversation i think it was valentine's valentine's day
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 1: was coming up and we talked about love and we
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: literally talked about it for about two hours you got
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 1: engaged finally for the second time is that.
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 2: Right second time first time We did it. It was like,
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 2: you know, because we had a baby so quick and
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 2: I wanted to do it, but it was really just
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 2: Catholic guilt wanting to do it. And then we split
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 2: up for a while. And that's what happens sometimes. You
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 2: split up with someone and then, you know, you kind
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 2: of realize what you got. You know that saying, you
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 2: don't know what you got until it's gone. And then
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 2: so that's what Jazz and I have been together now.
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 2: for Jesus, 11, 12 years, and we're getting engaged because
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 2: we got engaged because we got kids, we got three kids. Yeah,
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 2: and you're a family now. We're a family now, and
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 2: I said, what? You have three kids or two kids? Well,
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 2: two biological and one extra kid, right. Do you believe.
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 1: How does love change over time for you guys?
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 2: How has it changed? Well, I realize that it's not
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 2: a feeling, it's an action. That's how it's evolved over time.
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 2: To me, you've heard that before, that love is an action. Wait,
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 2: like tell me a little more? Meaning like, to me,
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 2: the first sense that I felt any time I ever saw,
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 2: what I felt when I first saw Jasmine. I remember
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 2: you told me at a bar, you guys were at
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 2: a place. It was, yeah. It was a volleyball bar? Yeah,
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 2: called Place to Beach in Brooklyn. Yeah, it was a pun. Yeah,
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 2: and then I felt, and they got shut down because
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 2: they were selling the fake vaccine card. First of all, dude, look.
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: There's nothing like meeting an illegal alien at a fake
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: vaccine card shop.
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was amazing.
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: If your marriage doesn't start out like that in America, then.
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 2: Fuck you, I think. So I felt this feeling when
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 2: I saw her. She stopped me in my tracks, this
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 2: feeling I can't. Like indigestion or something, but in your legs. Yeah,
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 2: I thought I was having a heart attack. I thought
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 2: maybe because me and my boy Pat, we were eating
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 2: so much pepperoni. And so I was like, oh, maybe
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 2: it's that. Maybe it's finally catching up to me. A Pepto-Bismol,
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 2: nothing worked. And so I realized that was like, I
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 2: thought that was love, but that was more of like
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 2: an infatuation. That was more of like a lust. That
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 2: was more like me just taken in by her beauty,
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 2: like that. And so that's powerful. That's necessary. And then
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 2: I went through with that feeling for years, thinking like
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 2: that was love. And then we would have all these
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 2: problems and I was always looking for something else. I
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 2: was always pushing her away. Then I'd get closer. She'd
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 2: push me away and all these things. And I realized like, oh,
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 2: these are just that, that was, that wasn't love. Love
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 2: to me was inaction. What I realized was all these
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 2: years later that the real love was her and I
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 2: coming back together after, you know, a big fight, her
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 2: showing me so much loyalty, me showing her loyalty and
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 2: her being there for me when things were not going
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 2: well for me. All those things were, that's the love.
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 2: Love is an action. And I see her do that
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 2: for me. Because I used to think that she... I
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 2: would always be searching in my brain, being a bit
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 2: of a perfectionist, as we all are, I think, in comedy.
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 2: We always want everything to go right. I would always say... oh,
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 2: you know, she's not, she's not, uh, perfect. Um, so
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 2: I gotta, you're looking for something else. Your brain is
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 2: always like, what's the next best thing? What's the next
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 2: best thing? And then, you know, at some points you,
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 2: you say, okay, I can go get this or get that.
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 2: And then looking for what's perfect, what's perfect. And then
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 2: I realized at some point it hit me. I was like, oh,
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 2: she actually is perfect because she's taking me in from
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 2: all my imperfections. She's understanding how imperfect I am and
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 2: still accepting me anyway. So that is like someone who's
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 2: perfect because a lot of people wouldn't do that. A
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 2: lot of people would have just thrown me to the
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 2: side by now and been like, hey, figure it out.
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 2: Because she knows I love my kids. She knows I'm
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 2: always going to take care of her. Right. You know,
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 2: so it wasn't about the money. It wasn't about, oh,
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 2: I need a man in my life. It's about specifically me.
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 2: She's taken me in for my imperfections. So for me,
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 2: that makes her perfect to me. And after all these years,
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 2: I've realized that all that and the action of love and,
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 2: you know, what we have with our children and building
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 2: a family, like there's, nothing, your life is happening right now.
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 2: And I have like a perfect life right now. And
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 2: I don't live in the zero sum game anymore. It
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 2: used to be, if my career was down, I'd be unhappy.
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 2: If I wasn't feeling, if I was feeling out of shape,
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 2: I'd be unhappy. One thing could make it all unhappy
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 2: because I was playing zero sum. It's either all or nothing.
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 2: I don't do that anymore. I'll say, Some things in
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 2: my life are up and downs. Everybody's life. It's all
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 2: in flux.
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 1: How were you able to adjust that? Was there something
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 1: that happened that made you sort of see that? Because
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 1: that's pretty powerful to hear about, man. Because I think
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 1: I've certainly had that. One thing will affect kind of
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 1: how I operate for the rest of the day or
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 1: affect how I think about myself.
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 2: Well, I think children, that's why it's important. In my life, personally,
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 2: people do what they want. But for me... abort all
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 2: your kids, whatever you want to do. In New York City,
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 2: you could kill them all up, I think, until they're 18.
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 2: I think you can have legal abortions. That's what AOC said.
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 1: Oh, you can send a kid to Gaza and Israel
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 1: will kill them. Mom Donnie's going to make it 21,
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 1: he said.
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 2: Is he? That's what he said. That's what the platform,
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 2: some people are voting for that. You can abortions up
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 2: to their kids are 21. So, but what I felt like,
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 2: how I learned all that is literally just by listening
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 2: to my kids and watching what my kids kind of
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 2: want from me and expect from me. And I realized
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 2: that You know, you could spend your whole life thinking about, oh,
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 2: what's going to happen tomorrow? Always being, you know, always being,
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 2: you know, there's something's better than something's better on the horizon.
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 2: You can spend your whole life like and then your
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 2: whole life goes by. So I realized to like be
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 2: in the like nothing's better to me, like what's better than,
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 2: you know. you know, a Lamborghini or selling out a
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 2: world tour or having sex with the hottest girls, like,
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 2: you know, just sitting in the grass with your kids
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 2: like that. And it's not for everybody. And also at
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 2: times it's not even for me. At times I'm sitting
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 2: in the grass with my kids. I'm like, this sucks.
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 2: I want to go drive in a Lamborghini. But it's
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 2: not a zero sum game. Exactly. But those moments that
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 2: I do have when I am fully locked in, I'm
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 2: always chasing that. If I'm chasing one thing, I'm always
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 2: chasing that. I've had feelings throughout my life of being
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 2: locked in with my family and I've never had a
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 2: euphoria like that. I've never been happier than that. And
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 2: it doesn't happen all the time. At times, I'm home
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 2: with my family trying to say, find that feeling, and
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 2: I just can't find it. But I don't beat myself
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 2: up about it anymore. I'm like, yo, just keep coming.
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 2: Giannis and I, Giannis talks to me a lot about
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 2: going back. Life is coming back to the present. Always
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 2: come back to the present. Always come back to the moment.
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 2: That's your job. Come back to the moment as much
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 2: as you can throughout the day. Come back to the
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 2: moment because it's all happening now. I try to be
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 2: where my feet are. Like there was a time when
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 2: I was talking to you the last time we spoke
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 2: about love and on Valentine's Day, half of my brain
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 2: was with you and then half of my brain was
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 2: probably back home with my kids or... you know, what
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 2: I was doing after that or my show, but now
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 2: I'm fully locked in just with you. I, I've, that's
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 2: one thing I have definitely can feel I've gotten better.
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 2: I just, I'm where my feet are. I'm fully with
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 2: you right now. And then when I leave, I'll, I'll
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 2: fully be with, you know, the driver. And then I'll,
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 2: and then, you know, when I speak to my family,
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 2: I'll fully be with them. You know what I mean?
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 2: And then I'll fully be with an Asian dude, In
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 2: the bathroom at BNA Airport, baby.
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 2: It's got Viet Cong. The Viet Cong's getting me. Yeah,
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 2: I got those camera shoes. So that's how I feel.
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I've explained it correctly. Round trip
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 2: to Saigon, huh? Round trip to Saigon. Yeah, Guantanamo Bay.
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 2: So I don't know if I explained it right. No,
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 2: I think you did. That's what it is.
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 1: Well, I think it's funny when you say something like that.
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, I let my mind, like, I'll have
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 1: a thought, and then my mind will multiply it.
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 2: Kind of.
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 1: I'll have a feeling or one bad thing will happen,
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 1: something that's not my favorite.
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 2: Well, because the brain is going to go towards connections.
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 2: That's the connective tissue. That's why they say those mushrooms
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 2: or acid, one of them is good because they say
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 2: it wipes away your- Opioids. I can't, which one is it?
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 2: That's what they say, one of them. Something on Joe
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 2: Rogan said that.
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 2: I don't know. But that feeling, it's like this thing
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 2: where I thought, I was thinking about this the other day,
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 2: like the, you know, like to be happy, me and
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 2: Giannis were having a conversation about this and he had
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 2: different feelings, but- I was kind of saying like, you know, faith,
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 2: you got to have faith. Like, you know, people talk
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 2: about hope and all that, but I feel like faith is,
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 2: to me, is better. Like it's faith is on a
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 2: creator and like hope is just- Hope is just gay faith.
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 2: It's just, exactly. Hope is gay faith. That's the merch.
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 2: So faith, so you got to have faith that like
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 2: tomorrow will be better. So it kind of goes against
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 2: what I just said, but on the same hand, it's like,
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 2: And simultaneously, I think this balance of life is have faith.
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 2: You know, we had to get out of the caves, basically, as,
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 2: you know, Neanderthals. We were getting out. You had to
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 2: get out of the cave, like, to go survive and
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 2: advance and all that. So it's like you got to
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 2: have this faith that there's a better life outside the
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 2: cave by also acknowledging simultaneously that what you have in
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 2: the cave is enough. So it's a delicate life. It's
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 2: just balance. You know what I mean?
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 1: Dude, my uncle, he used to tickle us, right? And
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 1: the only way he'd stop you to say the N-word
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 1: to get him to stop.
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 3: Right. Right.
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 2: That's my, I have the same uncle like that and
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 2: the only way, he'd say, it's not tickle, but you
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 2: say the N-word is the only way to get him
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 2: to come. So when he asked, because he wants to give,
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 2: you know, like donate a sperm.
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 2: So he wouldn't be able to do it. The prostate
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 2: wouldn't work, nothing. So, but because he's got such potent sperm,
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 2: so if you yell the N-word, he'd bust a nut
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 2: and then that's how he was able to give back
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 2: to his community by helping some of the ladies who
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 2: were infertile make more babies.
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 1: Oh, you yell the words to the whites will pop out,
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 1: you know? They're like, what's going on out there?
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 2: He's black. Your uncle's black? Yeah. That's good. I have
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 2: one black uncle. I actually have a Puerto Rican uncle,
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 2: for real. He passed away. He was dope, dude. True story.
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 2: Somebody robbed my mom coming down the block, and they
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 2: were robbing women, taking their purses. They took my mom's
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 2: purse and multiple other ladies' purses, And then they would sell,
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 2: you know, like take their money. And it was the
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 2: running out of the back of a bodega that, you know,
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 2: they had like steal their money, sell their stuff, whatever.
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 2: So their license, I don't know. And my uncle would
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 2: go to that bodega and drink beers and chill. And
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 2: he heard them talking in Spanish about, oh, they just
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 2: took this lady's purse. And he was saying like to himself,
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 2: he's like, oh, I think, I think that's my sister-in-law.
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 2: So he didn't like this guy already. So they got
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 2: drunk and then he brought him, he had a whole craft,
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 2: like a, like a tool shed in my garage. And
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 2: he took this guy back to the garage. He thought
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 2: he was just going to drink beers or whatever. And
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 2: then he tied him up and he put on a
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 2: welding mask and he welded the skin off his knees
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 2: for stealing from my mom. And then he gave my
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 2: mom all her money back and all that. And he
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 2: had fossilized this guy's knee skin. Fuck. Dead serious. He
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 2: was crazy, dude. Fuck. And he would drive me to school.
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 2: I don't even know if I want you here anymore.
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 2: He would drive me to school. He's dead though, that guy. Yeah.
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 2: I mean, I was a little kid. They didn't tell
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 2: me until I was an adult. I don't, I feel
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 2: bad for everybody in that.
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 1:16:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 1: But the guy was robbing purses. He didn't kill him.
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 1: He just melted the skin off his knees. I think
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 1: sometimes you got to have some serious measures. Yeah, man. I,
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 1: you know, I like finding that.
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 1: Finding love and committing to it and realizing that the
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 1: rest of the stuff is distraction, you know?
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but also, too, I mean, I say all that stuff,
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 2: but I also don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 1: Right, but you know what you're talking about for you
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 1: when you're trying your best. I don't think you can
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 1: say that.
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 2: You know what? Because you seem insane. No, but you
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 2: know what I've been realizing, too, like, just about me?
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 2: I mean, like, you know, because I'm only me. Like,
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 2: there's moments of the day, almost every day, where I'll
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 2: have some, like, intuitive... I'll say something, like, so intuitive
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 2: and tight, but I'll say it, like... only once in
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 2: a while does that get captured on the camera. Like
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 2: when I'm supposed to be doing my job here, I'm
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 2: just babbling. I don't know what I'm talking about, but
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 2: I'll like get on the plane tonight and have a
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 2: conversation with the person next to me and it'll be
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 2: like next level on. And so I, I wonder about that. No,
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 2: I think people do that. Oh yeah. I have conversations
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 2: in my head. I'll listen back.
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 1: Um, I'll, after I get like, I'll be listening to
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 1: the edit of an episode is watching through. and uh
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 1: and i'm like why didn't i ask that they should
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 1: have asked this that's insane not to ask that right
• 1:17:49
  Speaker 1: there but i think it's just where your brain is
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 1: and what you can handle and what you like do
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 1: and and take on at the moment um oh did
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 1: you see there's a clip of a woman took a
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 1: man into the mall.
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 2: And made him walk he cheated.
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 1: And she made him walk with a sign on you
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 1: see that no but this is awesome.
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 3: Cheaters!
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 1: Cheaters!
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 2: And this guy has a sign on it that says,
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 2: I had a two-year affair. Ask me how, it says.
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 2: Ask me how. He had a two-year affair while I
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 2: had his second baby. We intentionally had a second baby,
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 2: and he was having an affair the whole time. This
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 2: feels real to me, do you?
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it feels real, but to me, it's like... Is
• 1:18:34
  Speaker 1: this valuable, do you think? Is this the kind of
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 1: stuff we need to keep marriages together?
• 1:18:38
  Speaker 2: No, I would, you know, get a divorce, dude. You
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 2: don't want to be with her.
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 1: Well, he should have gotten a divorce than to go
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 1: ahead and have a more family.
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 2: The good thing about, like, you know, my lady is if, if,
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 2: if that, you know, if I ever had a two
• 1:18:52
  Speaker 2: year affair, which I haven't, but if I ever had
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 2: a two year affair, she would never do this. She
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 2: would punch me directly in my spleen. Yeah. She would,
• 1:18:59
  Speaker 2: if she would, that's what would happen for that. Like
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 2: she would find an organ. She's good. And she's lefty.
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 2: Other flyweights are welterweights. And she would hit it with the,
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 2: probably with the ring on. So she'd hit me hard
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 2: in the spleen, pancreas, something like that. and she would
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 2: just that's what I would do and I would kind
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 2: of shit blood or piss blood for a little while
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 2: yeah but then she would probably make me plantainos or
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 2: some you know dish the maduros the smashed plantainos she
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 2: would make it for me maybe a couple of nights
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 2: later she'd be alright but see like what this is
• 1:19:25
  Speaker 2: like this I don't like you know and also I
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 2: mean there's a part of me that also doesn't believe
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 2: it I just because of how much content is out
• 1:19:32
  Speaker 2: there I just don't believe that it's always real but
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 2: you know she why would he go do.
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 1: This She just, if it's not real, her acting is
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 1: pretty good in this video.
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 2: Well, he's, you know, I mean, yeah, that's bitch boy behavior.
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 1: Well, here's the thing. They brought the baby. Is the
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 1: baby real? Can you zoom in and see if the
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 1: baby's moving at all?
• 1:19:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. Doesn't even look like there's a
• 1:19:57
  Speaker 2: baby in there. Oh, there it is. Yeah, there's its feet.
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 1: So that's pretty real. Who's going to give somebody a
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 1: fake baby to go make this?
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's kind of whack. Like if you got
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 2: to see your parents, I don't think, I mean, I
• 1:20:07
  Speaker 2: get what she's trying to do, but it's whack all around.
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 2: I mean, he's whack, she's whack. They both just look
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 2: like they suck. And they both do look like prototypical
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 2: podcast fans. These are exactly what the fans of the
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 2: podcast look like. These kinds of people, you got a
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 2: fat older lady and just a skinny guy who looks
• 1:20:22
  Speaker 2: kind of dirty. She's not even older. Yes, she is.
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 2: Why'd she look like she's 25? Too old, baby. Wow, bro.
• 1:20:32
  Speaker 1: Too old.
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 2: Oh, you old. But what did she tell him? You
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 2: have to do this or what? She probably said, you
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 2: have to do this or what, or I'm going to like. See,
• 1:20:40
  Speaker 2: that's the thing, because normally it's like, oh, I'll tweet
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 2: out your messages. I'll contact this girl.
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 3: I see.
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 2: So whatever. She was going to maybe blast him. Yeah,
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 2: but this is worse. I'd rather that. I'd rather that
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 2: than go ahead, tell everyone you've ever met because I
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 2: don't want to do this.
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 2: I don't believe, and I bet you if you scroll
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 2: through the comments, most people are saying this isn't real.
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 2: Let's see. I don't think it's real. Let me see.
• 1:21:05
  Speaker 2: She entirely, I'm asking her husband, she should have just
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 2: left him. Do you believe, like- How many of these
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 2: comments do you think are real people? And have you
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 2: ever commented on a video? That's a great point. You're right.
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 2: It's all a mirage. Right? I feel like it's getting
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 2: to the point now where it might be like over
• 1:21:23
  Speaker 2: 50% of the people that comment on your stuff are bots.
• 1:21:26
  Speaker 1: Well, especially with AI. It's like they can make so
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 1: many things are bots. AI is so capable of like
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 1: act more human when you comment. Like you can do
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 1: all that. It's like we're watching a– like it's kind
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 1: of crazy to think that our reality has become science fiction.
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 1:21:42
  Speaker 2: Right, but it's the reality on the social media platforms
• 1:21:45
  Speaker 2: and on the internet. Is science fiction? No, our reality
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 2: has become fiction. But then what's science fiction?
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 1: Smart fiction, which it really is because it definitely tricks
• 1:21:57
  Speaker 1: us a lot.
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 2: Right, dude.
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 3: I know, yeah.
• 1:21:59
  Speaker 2: I don't know, dude. I know Jussie Smollett's probably innocent.
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 2: I watch a Netflix documentary.
• 1:22:05
  Speaker 1: Oh, do you think I could play Jussie Smollett in
• 1:22:07
  Speaker 1: a biopic?
• 1:22:09
  Speaker 2: Well, I told you. especially from the future, because as
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 2: you said in the beginning of the show, you're a
• 1:22:13
  Speaker 2: black woman from the future. So I think that you could.
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 2: And I think that you could play Jussie Smollett and
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 2: you could play the attackers within Nigerian dudes. I think
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 2: you could play any of those three. I think you're
• 1:22:24
  Speaker 2: a good actor. Thanks, dude. Even though I've never seen
• 1:22:27
  Speaker 2: you act, but I have a feeling that you're a
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 2: good actor. Feelings mean a lot. Dude, remember when you
• 1:22:31
  Speaker 2: said on Opie and Anthony or the Opie show all
• 1:22:35
  Speaker 2: those years ago that I look like a deaf guy
• 1:22:37
  Speaker 2: that goes to the gym? I remember. But we had
• 1:22:41
  Speaker 2: so much fun in there. And you know what was crazy, too,
• 1:22:44
  Speaker 2: to watch that video? If you ever, like, more you, like,
• 1:22:47
  Speaker 2: you could watch that clip and, you know, just think about, like,
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 2: at that point in your career, like, you were kind
• 1:22:53
  Speaker 2: of struggling. Oh, yeah. Well, you said you were struggling.
• 1:22:57
  Speaker 2: You were like, I remember us going to have lunch,
• 1:22:59
  Speaker 2: and you were like, man. Like there was, I think
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 2: you had done a show the next weekend in Sacramento Punchline.
• 1:23:03
  Speaker 2: You had forgotten your pants. Yeah. And you had to
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 2: take the opener's pants. Oh, yes. That's a true story. Don,
• 1:23:09
  Speaker 2: the guy Don DePetta, you had to take his pants.
• 1:23:11
  Speaker 2: I remember that. Yeah, because you didn't have pants, dude.
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 2: And you wouldn't sell barely any tickets at the Sacramento Punchline.
• 1:23:16
  Speaker 2: And then blew up. That was so much fun going
• 1:23:19
  Speaker 2: in there. Dude, going in there in the morning, going
• 1:23:22
  Speaker 2: in that building and getting to go in there. Oh,
• 1:23:24
  Speaker 2: it was great. And there was like, you were in there.
• 1:23:26
  Speaker 2: Bobby Lee used to go in there and eat bull dick.
• 1:23:28
  Speaker 2: There were heroes in there. Bobby ate bull dick? Yes,
• 1:23:31
  Speaker 2: he ate bull dick on Opie's show. Was there a
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 2: video of it? Yeah, there's a video of it, him
• 1:23:34
  Speaker 2: eating bull dick. And then Howard Stern was there, remember?
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 2: He was down the hall. You know that New York
• 1:23:40
  Speaker 2: Sirius XM building? It's not like that at all anymore.
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 1:23:43
  Speaker 2: There's like a ghost. I mean, Opie and Anthony, it's
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 2: not even a show anymore. Jim doesn't have a show anymore.
• 1:23:47
  Speaker 2: Howard Stern still has a show, but he never goes in.
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 2: Sway in the morning, all those shots. Nobody goes in anymore.
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 2: I think we got to start going into the buildings again.
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 2: I don't like, oh, like, I don't think working from
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 2: home is, I don't know that it's going to last.
• 1:23:59
  Speaker 1: But here we are doing it. Let's pull up this
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 1: one clip right there. Bobby's bull testicle. Yeah, I was
• 1:24:04
  Speaker 1: here for that. And the chef did put olive oil
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 1: and some salt on it.
• 1:24:07
  Speaker 2: Ooh. Wow, this was 10 years ago.
• 1:24:09
  Speaker 1: See?
• 1:24:13
  Speaker 2: Ooh. Bobby. Is that real? That's real, dude. I was
• 1:24:18
  Speaker 2: sitting across. Then he ran out.
• 1:24:21
  Speaker 1: That's not gay if you're starving, dude.
• 1:24:26
  Speaker 2: You're starving. And this was before Bad Friends. He was
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 2: also at this time in 2016 telling me his career
• 1:24:33
  Speaker 2: felt like dead in the water. And now look how
• 1:24:36
  Speaker 2: things can change. He's one of the best bad friends
• 1:24:39
  Speaker 2: you could have right there. Oh, he just pulled the
• 1:24:40
  Speaker 2: nuts off of him. Yeah, he pulled the nuts off. Oh,
• 1:24:42
  Speaker 2: and he bit into him. He ate into the nuts.
• 1:24:44
  Speaker 2: He vomited. Yeah, I think he runs out of the...
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 2: He runs out of the studio, and I went after him,
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 2: and he was vomiting for real. Oh, that's that Christmas
• 1:24:51
  Speaker 2: carrot right there. Yeah, see, look, he ran out. He
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 2: ran out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's dead now, Carl, unfortunately, man.
• 1:24:56
  Speaker 2: I know. A lot of people pass with this. It
• 1:24:57
  Speaker 2: was Vic Henley right there. Vic Henley, yeah, unfortunately.
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 1: Well, I think the one thing that we can count on, man,
• 1:25:04
  Speaker 1: is just love. It's like that's what you, I think
• 1:25:06
  Speaker 1: that's one of the messages I feel like from our
• 1:25:08
  Speaker 1: conversation today.
• 1:25:08
  Speaker 2: It's like.
• 1:25:10
  Speaker 1: You know, there's a lot going on in the world.
• 1:25:11
  Speaker 1: You focus on the things that are in front of
• 1:25:13
  Speaker 1: you and the things you can handle, and that is
• 1:25:15
  Speaker 1: really what's important.
• 1:25:15
  Speaker 2: Make your life a little smaller. That's what I try
• 1:25:17
  Speaker 2: to tell my kids, man. There's so many things going
• 1:25:19
  Speaker 2: on in the world. Yeah, take little breaks. It's like
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 2: there's travesty happening all over the world. You can't fix everything,
• 1:25:24
  Speaker 2: but you know what I mean? You could sweep up
• 1:25:26
  Speaker 2: in front of your crib. You could sweep up in
• 1:25:27
  Speaker 2: front of the house, take the garbage out, you know,
• 1:25:30
  Speaker 2: tell your neighbors to try not to be Nazis if
• 1:25:32
  Speaker 2: they can. You know what I mean? Yeah. Do the
• 1:25:35
  Speaker 2: right thing even when nobody's watching. All that. Comparison is
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 2: the thief of joy. Mm-hmm. Hope is my hedge. Faith
• 1:25:42
  Speaker 2: are my facts. I am okay. Hope is gay faith.
• 1:25:46
  Speaker 2: Hope is gay faith. Faith is also a big time
• 1:25:49
  Speaker 2: name for gay women.
• 1:25:51
  Speaker 1: Ooh.
• 1:25:52
  Speaker 2: Gay ass faith.
• 1:25:53
  Speaker 1: Next time we talk, we should talk about how certain
• 1:25:56
  Speaker 1: names could lead people down certain sexual paths.
• 1:25:58
  Speaker 2: My name, well, Christopher, my dad, he purposely calls me
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 2: Christopher and not Chris because he believes that if a
• 1:26:06
  Speaker 2: man goes with their full first name, that means they're gay.
• 1:26:09
  Speaker 2: So he basically calls me gay. That guy's a joke,
• 1:26:13
  Speaker 2: but he calls me Christopher. It's really like he's saying
• 1:26:16
  Speaker 2: you're gay. And Paul. Sorry, dude. I got to interrupt you,
• 1:26:19
  Speaker 2: but you have to go or you're going to miss
• 1:26:21
  Speaker 2: your flight. I got to go. I got to go
• 1:26:22
  Speaker 2: to Chicago, dude.
• 1:26:25
  Speaker 1: Dude, I love you. History Hyenas is back. People can
• 1:26:27
  Speaker 1: check it out. You're on tour with some tour dates.
• 1:26:30
  Speaker 1: We'll make sure we put them all up and talk
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 1: about them in the beginning. And I love you, man.
• 1:26:33
  Speaker 2: Good to see you. Love you, brother. You too, man.
• 1:26:35
  Speaker 2: Now I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel
• 1:26:39
  Speaker 2: I'm falling like these leaves. I must be cornerstone. Oh,
• 1:26:47
  Speaker 2: but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace
• 1:26:50
  Speaker 2: of mind I found. I can feel it in my bones.