Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / Why Kids Hate Their Bodies (and What Parents Can Do About It) [Parental Guidance Ep. 3]

Transcript

Why Kids Hate Their Bodies (and What Parents Can Do About It) [Parental Guidance Ep. 3] · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: A really big episode about body image last night on
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Parental Guidance. It was episode three of season three. If
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: you missed it, you can catch up on the nine
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Now app. Really really compelling, really heavy, really important conversations.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: We're going to unpack it all this week on the
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Happy Families podcast. Hello, my name is doctor Justin Colson.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: I'm here with my wife missus Happy Families, Kylie, Kylie,
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: we were introduced to four new focus families.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Let's run through our parenting styles, Elvy and Sean.
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: We are authoritative parents.
• 0:40
  Speaker 4: We have high expectations on our children. In the meantime,
• 0:43
  Speaker 4: we set strict rules and boundaries, say.
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: Next month.
• 0:50
  Speaker 4: As authoritative parents, we don't really give our children too
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: much choice. We want them to be academically successful, to
• 1:01
  Speaker 4: get into a good profession.
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: So you're basically setting the goal high for them they
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: can work towards it.
• 1:08
  Speaker 4: Yes, we set to rules, we have high expectations. However,
• 1:12
  Speaker 4: the most important thing in our view is their health
• 1:15
  Speaker 4: and happiness.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: Nick and Sophia where.
• 1:18
  Speaker 5: The positivity parents. Where confidence is key highness. As positivity parents,
• 1:28
  Speaker 5: we build up our children's self esteem every single day
• 1:31
  Speaker 5: by doing positive affirmations.
• 1:33
  Speaker 6: I can't hear.
• 1:33
  Speaker 5: You got to tell her out I am stop before,
• 1:36
  Speaker 5: Yes you are, Yes you are.
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: We've been blessed in the fact that Sophia is able
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: to work from home as a content creator and she's
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: incorporated our children within that sphere.
• 1:47
  Speaker 6: One two high that.
• 1:51
  Speaker 5: One.
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: We do.
• 1:53
  Speaker 5: Teach our children to have a healthy lifestyle, beautiful.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: They love being physical and Amanda and her son.
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: We choose to parent the hard way. We don't take shortcuts.
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: It's hard on us. We're easy and fun for the
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: kids right as hardware parents. There's no easy way out.
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: We don't leave anyone behind. We all go do things together.
• 2:18
  Speaker 7: Yes, but when it comes to food, we don't allow junk.
• 2:21
  Speaker 7: We try to make everything from scratch. We actually choose
• 2:24
  Speaker 7: to parent our children. We model good behavior. When it
• 2:30
  Speaker 7: comes to body image. You can put kids down really
• 2:35
  Speaker 7: quickly with your words. Where they feel that we're happy
• 2:38
  Speaker 7: and proud of them, they feel proud of themselves.
• 2:41
  Speaker 8: Josh and Cassie, we are the life school parents and
• 2:43
  Speaker 8: we use real life experiences to educate our kids. As
• 2:52
  Speaker 8: a family of seven, we live in our truck and
• 2:55
  Speaker 8: caravan traveling around Australia.
• 2:58
  Speaker 7: We'd be traveling for like three years. They haven't been
• 3:00
  Speaker 7: to school for four years.
• 3:02
  Speaker 8: We just choose life schooling to a better way to learn.
• 3:04
  Speaker 6: What we are doing is a variant of homeschooling, taking
• 3:09
  Speaker 6: it out of the classroom and into the real world.
• 3:12
  Speaker 8: I think you got further than Spencer and are we
• 3:14
  Speaker 8: going against the norm?
• 3:16
  Speaker 9: Are one hundred percent? We're going against that?
• 3:18
  Speaker 8: Kids are healthy? Anyone could see that, well done, Jasper.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: So before we talk about the big topic of body image,
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: we do need to talk briefly about the introductions to
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: these families, Josh and Cassie, our life school parents.
• 3:33
  Speaker 9: They caused a bit of a ruckus in the room.
• 3:35
  Speaker 8: Tests and school curriculums and.
• 3:36
  Speaker 6: Not no, they're not important s outdated.
• 3:40
  Speaker 7: But there is certain things they'll learn in the classroom
• 3:43
  Speaker 7: from someone that's been to university and done the curriculum
• 3:46
  Speaker 7: that you can't possibly teach them.
• 3:48
  Speaker 6: We'll just push back a little bit on that, because
• 3:51
  Speaker 6: what can the educational system teach that we don't have
• 3:55
  Speaker 6: the tools to teach our children. You know, with technology
• 3:58
  Speaker 6: like YouTube and things, I have tools and resources I
• 4:00
  Speaker 6: can lean on. So I am fully confident that if
• 4:03
  Speaker 6: their pursuit and their desire was to become a doctor.
• 4:07
  Speaker 6: They're going to go pursue that.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: Kylie, Josh and Cassie are doing a they call it
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: a form of homeschooling. They call it life schooling. We're
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: homeschooling a couple of our kids, or we have at least,
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: and we're still homeschooling one of them at the moment.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: What did you think about that conversation and this idea
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: that school is not for every child.
• 4:24
  Speaker 10: I agree with that. I think for so long we
• 4:29
  Speaker 10: fought to keep our kids in school based on this
• 4:35
  Speaker 10: idea and notion that it's a societal expectation that our
• 4:40
  Speaker 10: kids will be there, and it was just hurting them.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: So I would say that our recent experience is over
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: the last two now we've only got one at home now,
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: but we had two. I would say that our experiences
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: with homeschooling continue to be overwhelmingly positive.
• 4:55
  Speaker 10: Challenging, but positive.
• 4:57
  Speaker 9: And what do you think.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: About the I mean, there are a couple of teachers
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: in the room, but there was certainly some pushback, mainly
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: from the hardway parents who are like, no, no, no, you
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: can only learn some things at school.
• 5:07
  Speaker 10: So I don't believe that at all. But I also
• 5:10
  Speaker 10: don't believe that any parent can be everything to their child.
• 5:14
  Speaker 9: Yeah, definitely, And so if.
• 5:17
  Speaker 10: Homeschooling is your choice, then ensuring that your children are
• 5:23
  Speaker 10: supported with the right structures in place for them to
• 5:27
  Speaker 10: receive the necessary things of maths and English.
• 5:34
  Speaker 9: Reading, writing, arithmetic, yep is imperative.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: So I know that I don't want to get bogged
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: too much into the life school parenting homeschool parenting situation,
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: because we're going to learn more about Josh and Cassie
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: as we go throughout the week. But I do just
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: want to highlight there was one question that was asked.
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: How do your kids feel about not going to school? Like,
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: have they came and told you want to go to school?
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: How would you handle it?
• 5:55
  Speaker 8: We check in with them really and we're like, do
• 5:58
  Speaker 8: you guys want to go to school?
• 5:58
  Speaker 11: And they're like no.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: So, Carlie, I don't very often hear kids say Mum,
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: can I school? It's always the other I don't want
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: to go to school. And I wish Josh should pick
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: that up. I so badly wanted to say it in
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: the room, but obviously not my job to do that.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: All right, let's fire up challenge number one. The first
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: challenge was to stand in front of the mirror mum
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: with kids and talk about their body image. That is,
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: how do kids see themselves?
• 6:26
  Speaker 7: What do you like about your body? Lamits?
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: I like my eyes in my head?
• 6:31
  Speaker 7: What do you like about your body? My nurse you
• 6:34
  Speaker 7: knows why.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Ellen.
• 6:37
  Speaker 7: We live in a world where having fillers and botox
• 6:40
  Speaker 7: and plastic surgeries sorry the norm these days, and I
• 6:43
  Speaker 7: want our children to know that they don't have to
• 6:46
  Speaker 7: change the way they look to be beautiful.
• 6:48
  Speaker 12: Are a few about your body image. I like my
• 6:53
  Speaker 12: hair and my teeth. I have bunions because I do ballet.
• 6:58
  Speaker 12: I have acne.
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: Is kind of sad.
• 7:01
  Speaker 6: I want to be colder.
• 7:03
  Speaker 8: I honestly think you look pretty good for your age.
• 7:07
  Speaker 11: Oh so I just rent note here about the boys.
• 7:13
  Speaker 11: They saw their abilities and what their bodies can do,
• 7:16
  Speaker 11: whereas girls see their physical features.
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: I noticed that a bit.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Amanda, you talked there about girls and fellers and botox.
• 7:25
  Speaker 7: I don't want them to feel pressure that they have
• 7:28
  Speaker 7: to fix up the way their face looks just because
• 7:31
  Speaker 7: you know other people are doing that.
• 7:34
  Speaker 5: I get botox and I don't see a problem with it.
• 7:38
  Speaker 5: It's nothing that crazy, and I don't think there should
• 7:43
  Speaker 5: be like such a stigma around it. And by me
• 7:45
  Speaker 5: getting botox, I don't feel like it's teaching my daughters
• 7:49
  Speaker 5: that they need to get They don't know that I've
• 7:51
  Speaker 5: had it done.
• 7:52
  Speaker 12: I've never done anything to my face or body, and
• 7:55
  Speaker 12: I don't dye my hair. I just believe that if
• 7:58
  Speaker 12: I want my children to believe that they are perfect
• 8:01
  Speaker 12: the way they are, which I believe they are, then
• 8:02
  Speaker 12: I need to reflect that in my behavior. If I
• 8:05
  Speaker 12: don't focus on my wrinkles, or my age or my weight,
• 8:09
  Speaker 12: then my kids won't either.
• 8:11
  Speaker 10: I was actually really impressed as each of these kids
• 8:15
  Speaker 10: were able to stand in front of the mirror and
• 8:18
  Speaker 10: for the most part acknowledge that they loved their bodies.
• 8:22
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 8:22
  Speaker 9: Yeah, it wasn't that nice.
• 8:23
  Speaker 10: It really was. The standout to me, though, was the acknowledgment.
• 8:27
  Speaker 10: For boys, they focused on what their bodies could do.
• 8:33
  Speaker 10: The girls, however, focused on their looks.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there was a bit of crossover, but that was
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: the main message that I got as well. Yeah, social
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: conditioning plays a really big part in this, and we
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: really do focus on boys and what they can do
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: it we focus on function, not.
• 8:47
  Speaker 9: Form, whereas with girls we focus on form, not function.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: That's what society does. That's how we've been for decades, centuries.
• 8:56
  Speaker 9: Probably well, even.
• 8:57
  Speaker 10: The positivity daughter like she talked about having a six pack,
• 9:00
  Speaker 10: for instance, Right.
• 9:01
  Speaker 8: Tell mummy what you like about your body?
• 9:04
  Speaker 5: That I'm healthy, Yeah, beautiful, yeah, long hair, six pack,
• 9:12
  Speaker 5: six pack, So.
• 9:14
  Speaker 10: That would be generally something you'd hear from a boy.
• 9:16
  Speaker 10: But she still didn't focus on what that six pack
• 9:19
  Speaker 10: allowed her to do. I can to push up very much,
• 9:23
  Speaker 10: focus on her physicality.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: So generally speaking, it was a good news story. Most
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: of the kids were reasonably happy with how they look.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: You'll note that they were a fairly young cohort. As
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: a general rule, we're not looking at older kids teenagers
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: as a general rule.
• 9:37
  Speaker 10: And I was about to say that, just the acknowledgment.
• 9:39
  Speaker 10: When you're dealing with kids under about ten, generally speaking,
• 9:43
  Speaker 10: you're going to have that happy news story.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: All right, here's the challenging conversation. I don't know if
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: I want to go here or not, but we're going
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: to do it anyway. The discussion devolved. It went on
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: a tangent here.
• 9:56
  Speaker 12: Mothers that want to get botox, I think they possibly
• 9:59
  Speaker 12: need a psychologist. To say it's in the danger zones
• 10:01
  Speaker 12: or healthy zones or whatever.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: So botox fillers. There were some pretty strong opinions in
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: the room. We've got our hard way of parents who
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: was just saying no way, no way, Jose, and our
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: traditional parents who are also saying I've got to be
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: okay with who I am and how I am and
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: how I'm aging and what I look like as a
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: middle aged mum as opposed to trying to maintain the
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: fountain of youth. And then you've got other parents who
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: are like, yeah, I'm actually pretty cool with it.
• 10:25
  Speaker 10: There was definitely some divide, with Mark and Tammy having
• 10:30
  Speaker 10: very different viewpoints on what they thought was appropriate.
• 10:34
  Speaker 11: I've had botox before. I don't think it's bad to
• 10:37
  Speaker 11: role model botox and villas as a.
• 10:39
  Speaker 7: Parent, is it?
• 10:39
  Speaker 12: Do you? Yeah?
• 10:43
  Speaker 9: Crickets from Mark on that one, I think.
• 10:46
  Speaker 10: You might have been feeling a bit like you. This
• 10:47
  Speaker 10: is not a debate.
• 10:48
  Speaker 9: I want to weigh in on how do I answer
• 10:51
  Speaker 9: this question.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: So I'm not actually going to come in hard with
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: an opinion on this, but I want to share a
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: little bit of evidence and a general I guess recognition
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: of a challenge here. Let me start with the evidence. Now,
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: this is not an area that I've researched, So I'm
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: just quoting a book now that's probably ten or fifteen
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: years old. I'm quoting Jonathan Hate, who everyone knows today
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: is the author of The Anxious Generation, but quite some
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: time ago he wrote his first book was called The
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: Happiness Hypothesis. In my mind, probably one of the best,
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: if not the best book about well being ever written.
• 11:26
  Speaker 9: I love that book. And in that book he highlights this.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: Participating in plastic surgery having enhancements quote unquote to your
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: appearance is not associated with increases in well being. There
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: is a relationship between plastic surgery and low levels of wellbeing, depression, anxiety,
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: and other difficulties, with one exception, and that's breast augmentation.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: So I mean, you can come up with some hypotheses
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: as to why that might be the case. I'm not
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: going to jump in with anything you might want to.
• 12:01
  Speaker 10: I would say that for the masses of women who
• 12:04
  Speaker 10: go through this process, the majority of them are actually
• 12:09
  Speaker 10: enhancing something that they feel they lack.
• 12:12
  Speaker 9: And that's what he says in the book.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: I'm just again, I'm not sure that I want to
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: go there, but he basically says it's a self esteem
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: boost for women who feel like they don't feel feminine
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: based on their current situation, and so it's a self
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: esteem booster and it is associated with positive well being outcomes,
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: But all the other plastic surgeries his research indicate it's
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: a downer.
• 12:32
  Speaker 9: It brings well being down.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: The main point that I want to draw out here, though,
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: is that there is a tension, and I think that
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: it was exemplified in the conversation in the episode last night.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: The tension is we want to look and mums specifically
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: want to look their best and be healthy and feel
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: good about themselves. And the tension exists where if you're
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: going to use external or surgical processes to do that,
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: is that not hypocritical? Like where's the tension between trying
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: to look your best and actually still accepting that you
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: look the way that you do, that you're aging, or
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: that your body's changing.
• 13:14
  Speaker 10: I think for me, I'm not hardcore either way either.
• 13:18
  Speaker 10: But when I look at the damage that social media
• 13:22
  Speaker 10: specifically is doing, we think about all of the filters
• 13:25
  Speaker 10: that are in place for our teenage girls specifically so
• 13:30
  Speaker 10: that they feel comfortable in being able to post a
• 13:34
  Speaker 10: photo of themselves, and then they're watching mum who's forty,
• 13:40
  Speaker 10: and then she's fifty and she's getting older, but she's
• 13:44
  Speaker 10: not displaying the usual signs of age. Are we not
• 13:49
  Speaker 10: then emphasizing that, in order to be accepted as beautiful
• 13:54
  Speaker 10: and feminine and ideal, that we can't with grace. I've
• 14:02
  Speaker 10: thought about all the things many times, and we've actually
• 14:06
  Speaker 10: even had conversations around it. But ultimately it comes down
• 14:09
  Speaker 10: to the fact that I actually love my body. I
• 14:13
  Speaker 10: love what allows me to do, and I want my
• 14:16
  Speaker 10: children to recognize and know that while ever they focus
• 14:20
  Speaker 10: on their external to the extent that they're willing to
• 14:24
  Speaker 10: modify it in any way, shape or form. I think
• 14:28
  Speaker 10: we lose a part of ourselves. We literally give away
• 14:35
  Speaker 10: so much of who we are in an effort for what.
• 14:39
  Speaker 9: It's a tricky one.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: There's certainly some tension in the room and this idea
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: of making sure that we can feel good about ourselves,
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: but where do we draw the line is a vexed one.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: Another big topic that we've got to talk about just
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: body image. Generally, we're going to cover off what to
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: say to your kids about having a healthy body image
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: after the break. So, Kylie, this might be a little
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: bit ego driven, but I'm going to play audio of
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: me here because I think I said something really important
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: on the TV show that we need.
• 15:13
  Speaker 9: To listen to.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: A World Health Organization study found that what predicted who
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: was going to have body image issues was not body size,
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: but gender. Plastic surgery gop one drugs. The people who
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: take advantage of them, more than eighty percent of them
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: are female. We have a different conversation around bodies for
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: men and boys compared to girls and women. Okay, so
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: this kind of extends on the discussion we had around
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: botox and goop one drugs and that kind of stuff
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: in the first part of the podcast. There is definitely
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: a challenge here when it comes to how we feel
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: about our bodies, and it is primarily a female issue,
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: not a male issue, although it's increasingly becoming male because
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: I think social media has amplified and exacerbated it. What
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: I'd like to do is we wrap up today's podcast
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: share five ideas that can help parents who are trying
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: to manage these conversations with their kids. And I know
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: that you've got stuff to say about these things because
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: we talk about them all the time in our home
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: and our family. My first way to reduce body image
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: challenges ties directly in with what you said a few
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: minutes ago, and that is we've got to reduce screens.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: The more kids are involved with screens, the more they're
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: going to be exposed to stuff that just makes them
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: feel lousy. We shared it in the show last night,
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: some headlines from different articles and different research papers showing
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: the more time people spend online, particularly on social media,
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: the more time they spend looking at ideal bodies, the
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: worst they feel about their own bodies. Reducing time on
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: social media has got to be an element of this.
• 16:50
  Speaker 10: A little bit of a side note, but I think
• 16:51
  Speaker 10: it fits in beautifully. I used to love taking photos,
• 16:55
  Speaker 10: right and once I started engaging.
• 16:58
  Speaker 9: Jim in a view or just photos, no, just.
• 17:00
  Speaker 10: Photos generally, and once I started engaging on social media,
• 17:05
  Speaker 10: I followed a handful of friends and family who were
• 17:09
  Speaker 10: actually photographers by trade, and all of their posts were
• 17:14
  Speaker 10: picture perfect, and it actually stopped me from wanting to
• 17:20
  Speaker 10: post and wanting to actually even take photos, because every
• 17:25
  Speaker 10: time I would take a photo, I would look at
• 17:27
  Speaker 10: it and I would look at it through the lens
• 17:28
  Speaker 10: of it doesn't look anything like that, or it doesn't
• 17:32
  Speaker 10: do this moment justice. And if I'm doing that just
• 17:37
  Speaker 10: purely on a photograph, think about our girls, specifically, who
• 17:43
  Speaker 10: are watching other people post these picture perfect moments in
• 17:48
  Speaker 10: time of themselves, which are probably all filtered up, and
• 17:52
  Speaker 10: then judging their appearance based on a fictitious model.
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: So there's things that I need to pick up on here.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: Number One, you said picture perfect. I called the chapter
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: in my book Misconnection. I called that pixel perfect. Yeah,
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: because that's what the goal is. And that ties in
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: directly with the second point that I want to make,
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: and that is that we need to forget about teaching
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: our kids about media literacy. What do I mean by that?
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: You can talk to your kids about filters. You can
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: talk to them about.
• 18:20
  Speaker 10: Well, they know it, they're living atally what it looks like.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: They know exactly how it works, and it doesn't stop
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: them being aspiring.
• 18:28
  Speaker 9: For that look.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: And so what our conversations need to be more about
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: is rather than being all about being pixel perfect and
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: the hair and the makeup and the lighting and the
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: filters and all those kinds of things, the conversations need
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: to be about the three final points that I want
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: to emphasize number one, Folcus on what you can do,
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: not how you look. Number two, avoid diets and other
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: things that are designed to be all about externalities, like
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: have good health habits, but don't go on some diet
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: so that you can lose x number of kilos in
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: such and such an amount of time that only amplifies
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: and exacerbates the focus on appearance. And number three with
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: parents have got to be models. We've got to be
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: good examples of how we approach our physical appearance and
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: our attitude towards it, which probably goes back to our
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: conversation in the first part of the podcast, what are
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: we modeling and what does that say about how we
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: feel about ourselves and how we look.
• 19:23
  Speaker 10: Can we just take a minute to talk about Sophia's
• 19:25
  Speaker 10: experience in front of the mirror with her daughter, I
• 19:28
  Speaker 10: so bad.
• 19:28
  Speaker 9: We want to do that. We need to do it tomorrow.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: We're out of time, and I think that it deserves,
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: it deserves a real conversation. It ties in so well
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: with all the things we're talking about right now. We'll
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: hit that tomorrow on the podcast, as well as a
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: conversation about the second challenge in last night's episode. We
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: really hope that you're enjoying our recaps of the Parental
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: Guidance Season three episodes tomorrow more on Body Image. Can't
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: wait to share it with you. Thanks to spending your
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: time with us, We really hope that you're getting a
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: lot out of it. If you are, can you sh
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: the podcast with your friends? A couple of buttons you
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: can click them and flick it through. I reckon if
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: it makes your family happier, it will make their families
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: happier as well.
• 20:08
  Speaker 9: The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Rouland from
• 20:11
  Speaker 9: Bridge Media.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: Craig Bruce is our executive producer. Mim Hammonds provides research
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: and other support, more information and more resources to make
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: your family happier. You can find a Happy Families dot
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: com dot au