Latest / She's Next Level / 54: Breaking Free From Judgement Of Yourself & Others
Transcript
- Darshna Patel: it is a one-way street, we are in charge of our life, And I want you guys to really understand this on a motherfucking root chakra level, We're constantly technically judging ourselves when we have a judgment. Hello everyone, and welcome back to the She's Snacks Level podcast. I'm your host, Darsh,, and I help women live their most expansive life, look hotter, feel healthier, and be happier. So if that is something that you want to do, then subscribe because we release episodes every week. So today's topic is juicy, juicy, juicy. Like I say every fucking topic that I talk about. but it's really all around judgment. And it's something that I just feel like people are not having conversations around, but it's the biggest thing that really has helped me avoid a lot of obstacles in my life. And what I mean obstacles is the emotional pain, is the things not working out the way that you expected it to. And before we get started with this episode, I wanted to announce that I have decided to open up a special topic feature type of situation. And I created this because I wanted to give you guys a voice and I want you guys to be a part of this. You're a part of the community. And to answer any questions that you have, because I love having those conversations with you. And obviously on a podcast, I'm not really able to, but with this, you're able to submit any question. that you have been pondering on that you want to learn more about and I will then choose somebody and dive deeper into it. So if you want to submit any questions or any topic requests then you can do that in the description box below. so let's get started all around judgment. Man, man, man, man. How many times have we judged people, judged situations, circumstances? I mean, I fucking do this every day, right? And I do this work day in and day out. It's normal. I just want to like make this normalized for you guys because of our brains, the way that our brain and body is set up. Our brain is literally wired for survival. It is constantly scanning for threats. So it is quite normal to have. Judgments. And in a way, judgments are not a bad thing, as we may feel like they are. You know, judgments help us discern whether something is for us or not. So it's sometimes good things to have a judgment. But I wanted to talk about the negative components to having judgments and how it can reduce the obstacles in your life and how this can be the tool that if you just start to practice this in your life, that you'll be able to start to notice. How you feel more emotionally at peace. I think this is the biggest thing that has really helped me personally from judgments, is not just like the obstacles that I experience that manifest in my life, but it's more about feeling at peace. I think everybody deep down wants to feel at peace. And to me, that is true happiness. That is true fulfillment. It's just being in that full acceptance state. And it's easier said than done, right? Like we all fucking know this. This is not the first time you probably heard this. And if it is, amazing. But the embodiment and the feeling and the knowing of it, we need certain tools to help us get there. So I'm excited to dive in because I feel like the things that I have to share has really been a game changer for me. And I know it'll be for you. But the biggest thing that I want you guys to understand that it is normal to have judgments, But what really fucks us up is the negative judgments that we have about people, about places, about situations. We have this whole thing, this whole idea that has been ingrained on us from society, from parents of what is good, what is bad, what is safe, what is unsafe, right? I talk about unconditional love a lot on this podcast because it is the foundation of the work that I do. And it really is like the most important thing that you could ever fucking work on in your life to really live your best life. And this is a piece of it, is judgment. This is like one of the nuances that helps you cultivate more unconditional self-love and not just for yourself, but everything outside of you. Because I will say this time and time again until the day I fucking die, that life is a mirror. Okay, there are so many universal laws out there, but if you can just understand this motherfucking one, the law of reflections, which is literally the same as the law of mirror, So everybody outside of you is constantly reflecting to you your internal world, your perception. So when we have negative judgments about other people, about a situation, right? That is Only telling us nothing about them, they have their own shit, you know, and that's something more advanced that I can cover into a course or something else. But it is a one-way street, we are in charge of our life, right? And I want you guys to really understand this on a motherfucking root chakra level, if I gotta say this, because it is what changes the game when you understand judgments. We're constantly technically judging ourselves when we have a judgment. And this can be a positive judgment too. We have a positive judgment about somebody and something, it's because it's alive in our energy. It's how we see the world. I feel like the biggest thing that people don't understand about judgments, why we have them in the first place, is because anytime we are emotionally out of balance, right? When I say this, and I've talked about this a couple of times on my emotional mastery episodes. So there are prereqs to maybe a future course that I'll create one day around emotional mastery, who knows? But emotional mastery has been the biggest fucking game changer for me because how we live our life, create things in our life is through emotions. So when we're out of emotional balance, meaning when we're limiting ourselves in a certain way where we feel that disconnection in our body, well, feel it. You know, when you're playing small, when you're settling, you know, you know when you're feeling off because it's not true. What's true is unconditional love. And so anytime you have a judgment and that judgment is causing pain emotionally, it's causing you. To have a skewed perception around a situation or a person that may not even be fucking true. because I will be the first to tell you how many times I've had like negative judgments about people and somehow I got past that and I got to know somebody and it was completely off from the judgment that I had before. It's because there was something alive within me that I was not seeing and I was being shown that through somebody else. So I want you guys to start seeing judgments in this way of like, if I'm having a judgment, it's just telling me as feedback that there's something going on that's emotionally out of balance that for me, it's not about feeling better either. It's about me getting closer to my goals but being more in emotional balance because everything is created through energy and emotions. Okay, bitch. So the more that you ask for, right, if you want the perfect partnership. Relationship, you want a better relationship with your family, right? A lot of people fucking struggle with that, bitch. Let me tell you. If you want a better career, if you want to make more money, you want better health, like the that requires a certain amount of emotions to create that type of situation because everything's created through that. So when you start to understand where you're out of emotional balance, right, from your true core self, which most people don't even fucking know. Who their true core self is. And if you don't, go listen to the episode that I created from the programmed self versus the unprogrammed self, because that will help you get started with that. But when you start to understand this whole concept, you start to not take things so personally anymore. And you start to get curious. I really want people to start getting curious about what is this judgment telling me? And if you can catch a motherfucking judgment early on. Like in the moment, it'll be in your thoughts. Okay. It starts in the thoughts and it'll be quiet or it'll be loud. It'll be there and you know it's there because you hear it. Don't ignore that shit. Because if you continue ignoring it in that judgment, then it'll turn into an obstacle to reflect back to you in your life where you're out of emotional balance. So it's better to catch it early on and shift your perception back into balance, which for the most part it's always a judgment that's not true. It's always a judgment that's off Because of the law of abundance, meaning that there is no loss in your life. When you start to understand even that law, which I have been diving into lately, it really helps you start to have less judgments about certain people and what they do and why things are the way that they are. Because a lot of the times we're always viewing it from our own experience of what other people are doing. And it's never about them. It's always just reflecting back to us what we're doing in our life. Cause Somehow we were an energetic match to experience seeing that. Whatever the hell it is, it's never a coincidence that you're noticing things, you're seeing things in your existence unless it existed in your own reality first. I have a really interesting example to give you guys of one of my friends, and I love her so much, man. If you're listening, bitch, I love you. You know that. And it was interesting because she was basically telling me about a friend that she has this judgment around her being annoying and her not being considerate of other people's times because that girl is always late. And she felt some type of way about it. And I was basically explaining to her about the law of reflections, which is everything I'm talking about, of you know, everything that's going on in our internal world is being reflected externally. So the way that she's behaving towards her is basically telling her that judgment that she has, that exact judgment of her feeling annoyed and her feeling like people aren't considerate of her own time. Taking that and seeing how she's doing that to herself in some way, somehow, or feeling that way, some way, somehow, in her life, in another area of life. It's never the same area. It's some other area of her life. And that is why that's playing out. And it was interesting because she was just telling me, like, I don't think it should be that deep though. Like, why is it? Feeling like it's my fault. Like I don't feel like everything is my fault that I create this. And that is where people go wrong. That is where people end up creating more of what they're creating when they don't understand these higher frequency concepts. Because if the world is your oyster, right? Like you're always creating everything in your own reality. And this is proven by science, by quantum physics, if you want to go check that shit out. This is not just like a made-up concept. then it is something that you've created because it's existent in your reality. You're just not aware of it and you're becoming more aware of it. And I don't want you guys to also take that perception around self-blame because that happens a lot. I've fucking struggled with that a lot before. Around like, damn, I like am doing all of this shit to myself and I don't want to do this to myself. And why am I doing this to myself? A lot of it is subconscious from the things that we picked up that we learned on and Everything is planned at the end of the day by our soul. So it's not like, this just ended up happening. Your higher self plans everything for a reason. so it's really helpful to just take a bigger picture perspective around things to not get so like locked in onto why this is happening to me or like why did I create this? Because that's when you create worse shit, right? You blame yourself. You start being like, How is this my fault? Like, why is this my fault? You get into that mode, then you're gonna attract more of those same people or other people, like basically reflecting that to you of blaming you for things that you're not doing or that are not true. And that's like a whole thing that you don't want to create in your reality. So this is why it is so important to understand this concept. Around how we create everything and any judgment that we have is usually a judgment that we're seeing within ourselves or having about ourselves in another area of life. And that it's never about the other person. Now, the other person has their own shit too. Like they are also self-projecting in their own way. And them showing up in a certain way could tell a lot about themselves too, because that's what they believe. And whether they're happy about it or not, like that's on them. It is not our job to control anyone or to influence anyone or to have someone behave a certain way for us to feel good around them. And I also will say that it is not the solution either to avoid people because that energy is not coming from a place of pure love. It's not coming from a place of alignment. It's not coming from a place of self-respect, actually, and self-love. It's coming from a place of you're behaving a certain way. So I'm just gonna avoid you so that I don't have to feel the thing that I'm feeling. Because if I did not feel the thing that you are showing me, I wouldn't feel that way. I would wouldn't fucking care if they're late or not. Like just think about that for a second. Because like a lot of people think that they're not triggered, but bitch, they are triggered. And it's maybe not a huge fucking emotional spiral trigger. But it is a subtle trigger, and a subtle trigger is still there. And it's better to tackle that shit before it gets louder and louder and louder. So just keep that in mind, because I used to do that a lot. And now I'm like, no, any type of emotional imbalance I have, I usually pay attention to my emotions throughout the day. Like, how am I feeling right now? And that's how I keep track. That's been a game changer for me. another way that has helped me start to judge less in my life. And this was actually with my mom when I was starting to heal my relationship with my mom. And this was way before I've gotten into the deeper understandings and the concepts about how the universe works and all the things that I know now. But at that time I started to implement this concept that I had learned back then around noticing the positive aspects of somebody. Like my mom, if she did something that I would deem as stupid or fucked up or whatever, I would automatically switch my perception in that moment in time and train my brain to be like, but what do I love about her? Like, what are the things that I really admire about? Her and the way that she does things, and why do I love my mom? That really helped me like train my perception and shift from being so judgy with her to not being so judgy with her, and to be more in that unconditional love-accepting place with her. So that is something that you guys can start to do to help start to train your brain and shift your perceptions from judgment to like what are the positive aspects though? Because that also shifts your energy too. From being so emotional and being off of balance. Because that at least at the moment gives you some type of emotional relief. And I know it did for me. I just didn't realize that, like, that's just one part of the game. Like the other part of the game is me shifting my emotional state so I don't keep creating that. But at least to start with, like that was a great like quickie, like emotional relief type of thing that I used to do. Another reason why getting a hold on this is so beneficial for you is because you then start to make decisions from in a more emotionally aligned place versus a place of being emotional. And how many times have we made decisions? From a judgment that we've had, or said some things that we didn't like mean to say because of our emotions, and then we ended up regretting it. But if we had understood this concept around how judgments are basically us judging ourselves in some way that, you know, it's not our fault, but it's getting us closer to where we want to be in life and what we asked for, and there's a bigger purpose behind it. Maybe it is, you know, teaching you to respect yourself more and not devalue yourself so much. Maybe it's teaching you to speak up and say the things that you want to say. Maybe it's teaching you to realize that you have the genius, you have the gifts, you have the talent to create that multi-million dollar business that you want to create. Whatever the fuck it is, like it is all there to help you get out of that balance, limiting belief state to help you then shift into the the version of you that. Is meant to create some badass shit. And one of the other tools that I want to share with you that I ended up like receiving intuitively, and I was like, this is amazing. And it's something that's super simple that we can start training our brain to do this to be more in that neutral state, is to not give meaning to anything. What I mean by this though is to not perceive if someone, let's say, if someone did something nice for somebody, right? And I actually got this idea from me seeing a lady give this homeless guy some food. My immediate judgment of that was like, my God, she's a great person. Like, so nice of her, right? That is when we fuck ourselves because we're not seeing the other side of things. And we're not also seeing like, well, how is it also a negative thing too? Because when we start to do certain things in our lives, that is where the judgment pops up of like, I'm a good person if I do this, or if I'm a bad person if I do this, that is where we fuck ourselves up. So instead, having zero judgment, meaning having no judgment about that lady being nice that she did that. And actually seeing the other side of it too, around, well, that's also a bad thing because you know, she's enabling him, she's not really giving him anything to strive for to get out of his situation, whatever the fuck it is. Like that is also the negatives to it. So by having both of those perceptions locked in of like, you know what? She just did that. Cool. No judgment, not having any judgment about that, but just seeing things for what they are and just being like, that's cool, whatever. That is going to help you start to judge yourself less as well because you're not going to be thinking, is this a good thing or this is a bad thing? And something else I want to mention too is that, you know, when you start to operate in this way of being able to see the positives and negatives of everything and being able to, you know, shift your emotions from those judgments that we have, you start to feel more whole in your life. And wholeness is something that I haven't talked about on my podcast, but it's very, very important to unconditional self-love and to not have anyone fucking cheat on you or ever. Like to feel prioritized, to feel chosen in life. And it's something that we can dive into. If you want me to talk about it and go deeper into it, please submit that topic request form. Cause I want to know if you guys actually want me to like talk about it, if you want to learn about it. and then I will consider creating an episode around that to dive deeper into that to give you the juice. But when you start to have less judgments in your life, you start to feel more whole because you're already giving yourself what you need. You feel like your cup is full. you are living from a place of fulfillment. And so because when you start to feel that way, when you start to really like prioritize yourself, give yourself what you need, you do the things that you enjoy, you start to judge others less. You start to actually have less judgments. I also want to make sure that you guys are applying this to positive judgments too, like positive things. There's also negatives to those things. Like I used to be the one to have like rose colored glasses on when I would date men and I would only see the fucking good in them. I would have good judgments, but I wouldn't be looking at the negatives. So I want you guys to apply this to both ways, But I wanted to talk about the negative component because we tend to go into the negative a lot. Just default, the brain is just wired for safety and survival. So it's not your fault. We're not blaming ourselves, but we are being aware. We're not gonna be ignorant, we're gonna be aware, we're gonna be, you know, taking radical responsibility of our lives, and we're gonna do our best. These are the two things that I want you guys to just ponder on and re-listen to this episode because you will pick up on more gems and more understandings to integrate this shit in the brain and the body. So you can start living this out. But ultimately, the more balanced our perception is by being able to see the equal amount of positives and negatives of something And then realizing that yes, we did create this some way, somehow, regardless if the judgment is a positive one or a negative one, that is when you start to take more ownership and control over your life and what you experience. You start to experience way less obstacles this way than having things pop off and happen because you were ignoring those tiny motherfucking thoughts that are in the back of your head having those type of judgments. one last thing that I think is super important to remember with all of this is that it's not about never having any fucking judgments ever. Because, like I said, judgment is great. It helps you discern, it helps you make decisions from a more aligned place, It develops your character, all of those things. But it's just being more intentional about your judgments and having less judgments on the things that you don't want to have judgments on. Being able to shift your emotions from those judgments is going to be that game changer for you. So that you're able to create more in the way that you want to create. So it's like the ability to catch a judgment and shift it and then see that play out in your reality, that is true power. It's not about avoiding it. It's not about never experiencing it again, it's about reducing the frequency of how much you experience it because you trained your brain in a way to do that. And also being able to shift it and how quickly you're able to shift it. Is the name of the game. So Thank you so much for tuning in today. If you enjoyed this episode, please let me know in the reviews. If you're listening on Apple, leave me a review because somehow, you know, we're not really able to actually communicate on here. But if you leave me a review, leave some feedback. It really helps me, you know, create better content on the podcast and things that you guys are actually needing from me. So make sure that you go ahead and do that. If you're listening on Spotify, rate the show And share this with a friend because Lord knows that we all need this. And everything else is going to be in the description box below. I was also gonna say that if you guys are interested in working with me one-on-one, send me an email and let me know what you want me to help you with, what you're looking for, and that is it, my friends. I will catch you guys in the next episode. Bye.