Latest / Health with Hashimoto’s - Thyroid or Immune Education for Autoimmune Thyroid Disease / 194 // How the Stop It Method helps women with Hashimoto's manage stress [Interview with Melanie Gray]

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194 // How the Stop It Method helps women with Hashimoto's manage stress [Interview with Melanie Gray] · Health with Hashimoto’s - Thyroid or Immune Education for Autoimmune Thyroid Disease

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  Most women with Hashimoto's know stress is a trigger, but what they don't have
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  is a simple system for actually doing something about it. And Dr.
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  Melanie Gray is here today with exactly that.
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  She has a six-letter stop it system that she's going to tell us about.
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  Welcome to the Health with Hashimoto's podcast. This is where you will find
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  clarity and simple, sustainable strategies to feel better.
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  I want to help you figure out your root causes.
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  My name is Esther Yunkin. I am a registered nurse. I know how exhausting it
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  is to live with fatigue, brain fog, and the ups and downs of Hashimoto's. And that is why I'm here.
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  I'm here to cut through the confusion and to give you practical steps,
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  support your body, and calm your immune system so that you can regain your energy
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  and feel like yourself again.
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  All right, Dr. Melania Gray is a PhD, RN, nurse educator, wellness strategist.
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  She has more than 20 years of experience helping women and healthcare professionals
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  move from burnout to balance.
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  She has her doctorate in education. She has a deep passion for helping women
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  integrate faith, science, and practical tools for everyday wellness.
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  As the founder of Melanie Gray Solutions and the creator of the Stop It Method,
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  she teaches women how to regulate stress, set healthy boundaries,
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  and move from survival mode to healing.
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  And that includes the body, mind, and spirit.
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  Welcome, Dr. Melanie. Tell us a little bit about yourself and then tell us about
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  survival mode, because I know that's something that you talk about a lot.
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  Yes. So I am a nurse of over 20 years. My clinical background is in intensive
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  care, transplant, cardiac, and mid-surg.
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  I'm also a nursing professor, educator, 20 years, and I've taught all the things,
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  Esther, except for I don't do labor and delivery. I just never want to touch that.
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  And never, well, that's not my thing at all. But anything else,
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  and I've worked in a leadership, nursing education, nursing leadership.
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  I've mentored leaders across health care, higher ed, and other disciplines as well.
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  Related to, you said, burnout, you asked me?
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  Yeah, survival mode. Survival mode, yes.
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  So I think so often we get in survival mode.
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  One, because where we're just barely making it through the day,
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  we go on to autopilot and we don't listen to what our bodies are saying.
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  We ignore the back pain. We ignore the neck pain.
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  We ignore the fact that we can't sleep, that our guts are all bound up and we're
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  just plain constipated.
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  So then when you're in survival mode, you're backed up in a lot of ways, right?
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  Because you are not taking care of yourself. You're not getting sleep,
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  likely not eating correctly.
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  And in this country, we're applauding people for being burned out.
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  We're applauding people for not taking care of themselves, for being worn out
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  and being in survival mode where you don't even know if you're coming or going.
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  And we want to stop it, Esther. I want people to stop the foolishness of feeling
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  like they cannot rest. They cannot ask for help.
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  They cannot listen to their bodies.
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  They cannot enjoy life.
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  You cannot enjoy your life if you're just surviving.
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  And I've noticed that some people, life seems to calm down, and yet they stay in that survival mode.
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  Their cortisol levels stay fired up. Their anxiety level stays fired up because
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  they have taught themselves to live in that space.
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  And they have to learn how to relax, how to reset, how to recognize when their
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  nervous systems are becoming hijacked,
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  by stress continually firing and they
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  have to learn how to be willing to reset it
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  and that takes courage right change
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  takes courage we have to
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  recognize that sometimes we have to ask am I getting some secondary gains from
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  being worn out because people applaud me on how much I'm doing or that I'm always
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  moving so I have the look of accomplishing a lot or I have the look of busyness,
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  but I'm dying on the inside.
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  I think we have to come to that truth. And that's another part of stop it,
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  the T, be true to yourself.
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  Yeah, tell us what is the stop it method, S-T-O-P-I-T.
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  Yes. Well, it means first you have to scan and really listen to your body.
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  Listen to what you are saying to yourself.
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  Listen to your thoughts. Spend some time and really look at your life. Look at your calendar.
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  Does every hour need to be full seven days a week?
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  We have to scan our lives in totality as human beings and look at what is happening.
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  And then T, we have to tell ourselves the truth. what is working and what is not?
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  You know, am I having effective relationships? Am I snapping?
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  When is the last time I really did see my parent? When is the last time I really
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  spent time with my child or my husband?
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  Is what's going on in my household really healthy and effective?
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  Are my behaviors supporting them? And be true to ourselves, true.
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  And then, oh, we have to own our no.
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  No, you don't always have to say yes, and you don't have to explain your no.
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  Sometimes you can rephrase it. You can pause. Let me think about it.
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  I'm so glad that you thought of me, but I'm going to need to get back to you.
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  Because, Esther, we teach people how to treat us.
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  And sometimes they come to us first because it's just an easy win for them if
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  they think we're going to say yes all the time. Not that we're not.
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  No one's expendable. So we have to own our no, and then we have to prioritize
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  who we are and our voice, that we have to prioritize our health and our well-being.
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  You know, women with immune challenges like Hashimoto's have to prioritize themselves,
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  and they should not feel bad about it.
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  You shouldn't feel like you have to explain why I need to go to bed.
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  And get some sleep. You know, we shouldn't have to explain sleep.
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  You know, we should not have to explain that I need to step away and read a book.
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  We should not have to explain that we want time to go to the theater or time to go hear a concert.
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  Why are we explaining things that we having time for things that we enjoy? We shouldn't have to.
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  And so we have to prioritize ourselves. And then we have to be intentional about
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  change, intentional about being different, about growing and being better.
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  And then we have to be willing again, T, to transform.
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  You have to, because a thought, a goal without a plan is just a wish.
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  And we're not out here living with sprinkle dust. You know, we can't fairy dust.
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  We don't get anything done on fairy dust. So we have to have a plan.
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  I love that framework. Which part of your stop it framework do you find the
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  most transformative for women, especially women with autoimmune fatigue and Hashimoto's?
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  I believe that women most commonly need to scan first. I would say ST.
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  They have to be willing to scan and tell themselves the truth.
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  Because if you don't get to the realization of what I'm experiencing and being
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  honest, truthfulness part,
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  I need help, I need rest, I need support, you'll never get to prioritizing yourself
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  and being intentional and then going through the other periods of transformations.
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  Right. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, if I don't know what's going on in my body,
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  and if I can't call a thing what it is, then I won't be able to take any forward steps.
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  Yes. Yeah. So chronic stress plays such a role in Hashimoto's.
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  Can you explain how stress hormones impact thyroid function and then also healing?
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  Well, the stress hormones then trigger your high cortisol levels.
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  The high cortisol levels continue to up due to stress, which then impacts the
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  immune system, the heart,
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  the muscle skeletal system, exacerbates asthma.
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  Diabetes, hypertension, the other Hashimoto's, lupus, MS, all of the diseases
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  because they begin to be fire.
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  And a big part of that, the amygdala is then firing of the cortisol hormone
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  and we have to lower those levels by rest.
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  Is it when somebody is feeling stressed that you want them to use the stop it
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  method, or is that a different time?
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  I want them to use the stop it method, one, before they feel stressed.
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  So I think that self-care, particularly with a chronic illness,
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  is to try to eliminate those periods of high stress so that we're not having
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  high highs and low lows, but we stay in a constant of health and homeostasis and balance.
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  And so you have to listen before you are, if you know that you're feeling tired, then go get extra rest.
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  Don't wait for that little bit of fatigue to become exacerbated fatigue where
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  you can't move and you can't function.
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  Then when that happens, you're again more stressed because you're less like
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  you want to show up so if you want to show up you know you need to show up for that.
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  Child's play, you might need to get a nap or go to bed early and plan for that
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  event so that you can show up like you want to show up rather than getting stressed
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  that you didn't. And then you're really tired.
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  It enhances, it changes your whole well-being, your whole demeanor.
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  And we don't want people to get to that.
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  Right. Yeah. We don't want to have our bodies tell us that, okay,
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  it's time. you're going to stop now. You're giving you suggestions.
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  You've been hitting snooze on this alarm and now you're not gonna be able to turn it off.
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  Well, and I know that women or people working or living with a disease like
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  Hashimoto's do not want to be identified through the disease.
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  They don't wanna be the one, oh, you got that. Oh, you have, no.
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  But if you don't want to be identified, then you're gonna have to do the things
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  that you need to do to look healthy, to present yourself like, you want to be seen.
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  And maybe it means that you aren't doing as much as someone who does not have
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  Hashimoto's, but there's no comparison, right?
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  I have my family, my faith, and my relaxation.
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  So I think we have to define what all is for us and not stop scrolling.
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  I think there's too much social media scrolling and comparison,
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  social comparison among things that are not real.
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  And we have to give ourselves that grace.
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  And women with Hashimoto's have to give themselves that grace to define their
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  win and define their all with freedom and joy.
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  Absolutely. Yes. So what does it look like to shift from that striving and pushing
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  through and reaching for an unattainable, quote, all to more a grace-filled
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  approach to health? What does that look like?
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  Well, it means that you have to be mindful.
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  You know, we have to be mindful of where we are, and we have to choose to be
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  grateful for where we are,
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  not because we're in our gratefulness has to be rooted in our own heart and
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  values, not in our comparison.
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  Well, at least I don't have, I'm not living in a shack. Well, at least I can walk.
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  Well, at least I can stand. And it can't just be, well, it's the least of all.
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  We have to have grace and a honor for where we are in the lives that we have.
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  We have to start there because it's what we choose, not because anyone else has to agree with it.
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  I believe, Esther, that we have to, as women, have to be strong in our voice
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  for what we stand for, even if there is no social support on social media.
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  Well, start your own crowd then, you know?
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  Why not just start your own crowd? And have a, which is part of Stop It,
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  is to thrive with people who are around you that can really support you.
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  You know and everyone cannot.
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  Around you cannot align with a chronic illness.
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  There's some people that scares them. They are afraid.
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  And we know God blessed them. But God will give you the correct people to help
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  you honor who you are and where your life is.
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  So the first thing you have to do really is to have a mindset,
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  well, I'm going to be grateful. I am.
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  And I have something to give.
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  I am valuable for who I am. I am a gift.
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  I may have Hashimoto's, but I am still a gift and the Hashimoto's does not define me.
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  I define it by how I live through it.
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  I define it by how I push through it.
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  I define it by how I manage my life and my energy around it so that I show up
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  as the gift that I am in the places that are afforded to me.
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  You have a gift for anybody who's listening. Can you tell my listener about
• 14:28
  your Beat Fatigue Gain Energy gift?
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  Yes, the Beat Fatigue Gain Energy gift is just a resource for how to reset your
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  life in small steps over the course of a week.
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  So behaviors are not changed overnight.
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  Research says it takes 90 days at least to change your behavior.
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  We give you five days of simple things you can do.
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  Breathing, things you already actually know. To breathe, to eat,
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  to exercise, to be mindful, to have time for meditation and prayer.
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  And then you do that every single week. Because once you do it for five days
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  and you have a five-day win, then you can have another five days and then on
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  to 90 and then on to a month and then, you know, six months and then a year.
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  So I believe that we have to keep it simple, right?
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  And when you're managing a disease and its symptoms, it's important to keep
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  things simple so that we don't overwhelm ourselves and then,
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  you know, feel like we're getting more stressed.
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  And we don't also want to build in failure.
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  This is something that everyone can do and can do successfully.
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  And then if you miss a day, then you just restart again. Keeping it simple is so important.
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  Thank you for that gift. And I will have the link down in the show notes so
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  everybody can go and get that.
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  So if there is one thing, like somebody's been listening, we've talked about
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  a lot. If there's one thing that you want them to remember from our conversation today, what is that?
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  I want them to remember, Esther, that they are a gift and they are a woman,
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  a person of value and strength, and that they can choose.
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  They can choose how they show up and the quality of their life that they live with by being,
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  by scanning every day, even if it's on the toilet, taking a moment on the throne
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  of life, and, you know, really say, how do I feel today?
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  What adjustments do I need to make? And then being true to what they need to.
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  They are a gift. This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only.
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  Please discuss any changes with your trusted healthcare provider.
• 16:44
  To take your next step, join our school community and explore the courses available there.
• 16:48
  You do not have to figure your health out alone.
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  So that is school, S-K-O-O-L.com.