Latest / The One Small Change Podcast / Breaking the Burnout Cycle Strategies for Stress Management with Jessica Hallahan

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Breaking the Burnout Cycle Strategies for Stress Management with Jessica Hallahan · The One Small Change Podcast

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Welcome to the One Small Change. I am thrilled that you decided
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to spend some time with me today, and I'm your host, Yvonne McCoy. And
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I bring almost 30 years of entrepreneurial
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experience and passion for discovering growth through the power of
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seemingly small changes. And I can't speak, but,
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you know, that's how you know it's live. So I'm really happy that you're
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joining us. And one of the things that I find is that you sometimes you
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learn more from your mistakes than you do from getting it right the
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first time. But we are gonna share some of those small changes, which
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are not necessarily mistakes, but things that have happened that have
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had an unexpected impact on our life and our business.
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And this is one of the ways that we can transform and grow in both
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our personal and our professional life. And today, I have an
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interesting guest for you, Jessica Hallahan.
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Jessica, thank you for joining us in my audience,
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and I know that you've got something amazing that you're gonna share with us
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today. Thanks so much for having me. I'm so excited to be
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here. So tell us a little bit about why
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you what you do, and tell us the small
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change that had an impact in your life and your business. Yeah. Of course. So
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my name is Jessica Hallahan, and my business called Journey to Yourself. I am a
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public health educator, and I focus on stress management and burnout.
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So I do individual train coaching, and I do corporate training.
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The small impact that I said actually kinda started
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this whole journey was learning how to make time for myself, but in the sense
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of doing it every single day. So how do I make that 1 to
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5 minutes a day? How do I actually start to implement these habits? So my
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story is when I was on this mission to heal myself after burnout,
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it was learning how to make time for me, and I didn't know how to
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do it because I thought I was doing it by going to the gym and
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meal prepping and doing those kind of things. I did the traveling. I, you know,
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did it. Traveled a lot of places, but I wasn't showing up for myself every
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day. So I had to learn how to even do that into a busy
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schedule. So when I learned how to go, I'm just gonna read 2 pages a
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day. I'm going to drink the coffee while it's hot. I'm going to just
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write one sentence in my journal. Those are the things
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that I know impact my my life to get me on the journey where I
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end today. But, also, when I'm trying to think about
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that to do list for my business, it's that, okay. What is the
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one thing I can do and just take in everything in that bite sized
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pieces? Well, first the first thing I wanna say is
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I think I'm totally amazed by the fact that you said 5
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minutes. Yes. Because I think so often,
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we take a look at this and think, I have to set aside. I
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mean, I know I'm one of these people that believes in the power hour or
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doing the first thing first thing in the morning and stuff. And I
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tend to look at it, as a bigger chunk of time.
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So, you know, I'm I'm really happy to
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know that there are things that I can do,
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not only in just 5 minutes, but throughout the day. It doesn't have to
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just be at the beginning. So what do
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you think happens to
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us when we do that? I mean, what's the
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shift that that, you know, that that makes it be, like, a bigger shift
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when we do that? Yeah. Of course. So what I would say, you
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can read all the books. You can do every program. The The only thing you're
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ever going to see that's in all the different programs and all the different books
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is consistency. So when you do the small things and make that
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foundation, you're building consistency, and that's where you're gonna see change. Right?
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Because life is always moving. Life is always gonna have these ups and downs. Life
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is always gonna throw something at you. So if I have a small foundation
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where I can go back to, okay. It's just 2 pages of reading.
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It's just one sentence. It's only 1 to 2 minutes drinking the coffee
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while it's hot. That's my foundation. Now like you said, there's that power
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hour. I can work up to that, and that's super awesome. But then when life
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hits me, I start to take off the whole hour instead of just going, well,
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let me just go back to 5 minutes. I've now created a foundation and a
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consistency in my life, which then goes to boundaries, which
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then teaches me how to communicate, which then right? So then you just it
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starts to build on changes throughout my life. Well, there are a couple things
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that you said there that that I really like, that I truly believe.
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One is, you know, we're in a we've always
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been in a situation where we're juggling. It's a juggling act.
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But right now, the, you know, the more we're into the informational age,
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the faster things are changing. So I always say, you know, the only
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constant is change. And I think,
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it's really important that people have variety
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and different things that they can pick from. Like, I, you
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know, I go back. A lot of my good habits come
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from when I was trying to lose weight that I really and it wasn't it
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it was about losing weight, but it was kind of more about learning how
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I operated. You know, what worked for me. And
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so, I had someone who said, you know, that
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you should have 4 different kinds of exercise that
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you do. You know, one was, like, competitive, one
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was social, one was kind of like your relaxation or your
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zen, and I can never remember the 4th one. But but but
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swimming for me was like my zen. It was like no
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phones. It was, you know, the repetition. It was like,
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I could just my brain could just relax. Right? And,
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you know, I'm competitive with myself. I mean, I don't play
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on sports teams, but I you know, when I would say I wanted to have
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a certain number of steps, I would find myself at the end of the day
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walking in place. So I
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you know? And so give give me the reason I'm saying this is because I
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think if we had a better idea of the the ways we
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could do the 5 minutes I mean, one of the things that that comes to
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me is just doing some breathing.
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You know, just taking time to go.
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Got a dog, guys. Yeah. It's okay. I got one too.
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I actually have 2. So give us some ideas of
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some smaller things that we could do in 5 minutes.
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Yeah. Of course. So I like what your coach or your method was when you're
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losing weight because you have to have as many things in the toolbox because I
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think to your point is that there's gonna be I'm gonna have different modes. I'm
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gonna have different moods. I'm gonna have different time restraints. So how many things can
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I add in that toolbox so it's still showing up every day, but to
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but meeting myself where I'm at? So what I started with was
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Lily's sitting outside with a cup of coffee, and my my saying is drink the
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coffee while it's hot. So just sit in there. Right? So maybe to your point,
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it's just breathing. But I think sometimes when we think about
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breathing and sitting there, we think about meditation. And as much as I love meditation,
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I think it's an amazing tool. When you're first starting out, it can be seem
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overwhelming, and I don't want people to get scared of it. So I say, just
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sit outside with a cup of coffee. Bring it till it's cold, and then come
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back inside. And to your point, even if it's just gooing a couple of breaths,
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reading just the 2 pages. Right? And sometimes we go, let me read a whole
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chapter, 3 chapters tonight. Just 2 pages. If you wanna keep
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going, great. But if you can't, that's fine too. Then that's,
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one sentence in the journal. Just one sentence. Sometimes we wanna figure out the whole
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problem, process the whole feeling, but right now, we just need to kinda get something
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out of our brain. So just the one sentence.
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Going for a walk. Drinking the water. Right? So just find
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the little things to do throughout the day. And then,
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one I like to tell people too is when you're in the shower, like, giving
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yourself a good hug. You always have to go to the shower. Right? So just
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giving yourself a hug when you're in the shower. It's it's less than 2 minutes
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sometimes, but just giving yourself that time to kinda embrace yourself. But,
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yeah, just finding the small things. Well, I think and I think the other
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thing is, and I'm sure you know about stacking, you know, where you put
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one habit with another habit. So if you've got something, you know,
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that's gonna stress you out, if you
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can, you know, put something that's gonna relax you with it either before or
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after whenever you need it. Like, I used to, when I was
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doing I had to speak. No. It would be
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like, you know I always tell people that if you're not a little bit nervous
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when you're speaking, it mean for me, it means I don't care. You
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know? So I wanna have a little bit of edge to me, but I also,
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you know, wanna make sure that I I have a message. And so,
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that's probably the time that I do a little tapping. And and,
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basically, what I say is I I want you know,
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let me let me provide value. Let me provide value. It's you
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know? And it, you know, it takes me, like, 2 minutes, and it kinda just
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focuses me for what I'm gonna do. And, And, you know, I still
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feel energetic and, you know, to give it. And and I
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think the other thing is, talk
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about I think this is important. Talk about
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say you say you set a goal for yourself that you're gonna read 2 pages,
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but you don't get 2 pages done. You get a page done. Talk
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about how we how we punish ourselves or you know?
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Yeah. So stacking is so stacking is super great.
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So only because you mentioned I wanna bring it up too. So stacking is super
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great too. But what I was talking about too is just creating that foundation so
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that you can begin stacking. Right? So kind of going back to that power hour.
9:27
These are all great things, but where do you start? And then to your point,
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if I know that I get nervous speaking, doing a presentation
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for work, you know, whatever the case may be, end of the quarters, you know,
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things I have to hand in, whatever that case may be. What am I implementing
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then? And that's where that all those tools come from. Right? So which tool does
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work for me? So going back to what you're just saying too, I said
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something where it's like, okay. It's just 2 pages, and I only read a page
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and a half. Well, there has to be that common awareness where
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why did I only get 2 pages? Is it because my kid came in and
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said, hey, mom. I want I need your attention, and then I didn't get back
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to it? Makes sense. Is it because I fell asleep and I
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was tired? Is it because I end up having a good conversation with my husband?
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Is it so I think you have to start with why did I not
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get to the 2 pages and starting from there because it's not
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we tend to, like, look back on it. Oh, why didn't I read 2 pages?
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I'm a failure. But in reality, you might have been doing something that was still
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really good for you. Having a conversation with the kid, having a conversation with your
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husband, falling asleep. Right? These are all still things that are
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really good for you. So asking yourself what happened when
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and that interrupted my 2 pages and starting from there. Now
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if it's because maybe my brain is racing and I just can't pay attention to
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the book and I think the book is stupid so, again, maybe that book isn't
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for what you wanna read right now. Maybe that's not the good stress relief right
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now, and maybe I have to focus on a different goal. Or maybe I go
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down to the one page. Meeting myself where I'm at, again, if
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I'm still showing up every day, one page every day
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is still better than no pages every day. Mhmm. Exactly. Exactly.
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And and I think the other thing
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is that's kinda that's that's kind of the beginning.
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What I find with my clients is
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either they're at the point of burnout or they're so wound up
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that they can't slow down. Yeah. You know? I
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I I have a thing called steps, and it's the first thing
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is to stop. Just stop what you're doing. Right?
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Think about what's important, evaluate what's going
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on, and then proceed proactively knowing it's
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never gonna be a 100% right. And then the
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success that you were you were able to get, celebrate that. Right?
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So if you what let's start with why you
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wanna avoid burnout. I mean, I think that's and I think that
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as an entrepreneur, I think sometimes we think of burnout as being a
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just a corporate thing. But entrepreneurs can have it
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too, particularly because, you know, we're so focused on
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what we're doing and we're, you know, we're so driven.
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Yeah. So the crazy thing about burnout is it can happen to anybody.
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So that's what was one of the reasons why I started my business in the
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first place is because I got hospitalized because I was burnout. I didn't
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have kids. I didn't have my own business. I was a college student. Right? And
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so I got hospitalized because of burnout. And so that was where my
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mission started up. Well, if I can, then anybody
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can. Right? And it's that sense of, like, I didn't have the big important
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things like feeding a family or running a business.
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Right? And so it's a lot of that mindset piece of what I'm doing, but
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also to your point where we're talking about a little bit earlier with the setting
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these boundaries. How am I stopping? How am I setting priorities in my life? So
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to your point of why do we wanna avoid burnout? Because it's not an
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accomplishment, 1. 2, anybody can have it. So how am I
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creating that awareness so I can avoid burn burnout and see those
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signs? Right? So when I'm doing this 1 to 5 minutes a day and I
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find those recent thoughts, I find that I'm not concentrating, I find that I'm not
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happy, I find that I'm tired, I'm crying, whatever your symptom is
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that day. Right? I have that awareness, but I'm
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also giving myself time to have a little bit of process. So if I'm giving
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myself that 1 to 5 minutes every day, I'm releasing
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some of that. Right? I might not be solving the problem, but I'm releasing some
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of that. Alright. So can I because I
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wanna go back to I don't think we recognize
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the symptoms of burnout? So you just did a few of those, I think.
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So can you talk can you do that again? Yeah. I think
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that I just remember once going to the doctor and he said, do you
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have anxiety? And I was like, no. And then I said
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and then I was like, well, what is anxiety? Because you wake up in the
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middle of the night, you can't go back to sleep. I'm like, yeah. I got
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anxiety. So so
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let's let's start with because we may not
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I I think some of our listeners, you know, because we've always been ambitious
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and driven, we may not actually know
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what the symptoms are and how they show up. I mean Oh,
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yeah. So So that's talk about that a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Of
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course. So this is the thing. We have a idea of how we
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react to stress. So your first response is physical. So you have this physical touch,
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which is your stomach, the migraines, the headaches. My favorite is
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an eye twitch. Right? You have eczema, psoriasis,
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hair falling out. Those are typically your first signs. Physical is your first
14:33
sign. But because we're so busy, we ignore it. Right? Oh, I
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always have a migraine. Oh, my stomach always flips. Oh, I always have gut problems.
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So we ignore it. Then we get those emotional signs. Like, you're
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mentioning, I have that anxiety. I have that depression. I have that isolation. I feel
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overwhelmed. I feel angry, frustrated, irritable. My ones where it's
14:52
like someone's clipping the the, what's it called? The pen. And you're like,
14:55
oh my god. Stop clipping. Stop chewing like that. There's irritability.
14:59
Right? Hence the behavior. Amazon shopping, the
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mindless scrolling, right, the eating, the cravings,
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the right? All these things, you're going to have
15:10
stress. And I wanna emphasize this because you're going to have stress. You're gonna have
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these reactions is when these tend to take over life and these
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become consistent, like you mentioned the sleeping. Right? So if
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I'm consistently not sleeping, I'm consistently waking up in the middle of the night, and
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this is going on for a period of time, you are now in burnout.
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And that's where we tend to go, oh, well, I have to live this
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way because I have to pay the bills, and I have to have a kid.
15:35
I have and we start to make excuses for this lifestyle, for me
15:39
being sick, for me having highs, for me having eczema, for me losing my hair,
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for for me being irritable. We make excuses and then don't
15:46
realize that eventually, we're going something's gonna
15:50
happen. Something's gonna break. Eventually, something gives. Right? And so to
15:53
my story earlier is that I was 24 years old, hospitalized
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from a head to toe in, like, wolf size hives, and I was
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diagnosed with mono. And I kept giving myself mono. So they called it chronic
16:05
mono, but it's burnout. Right? I kept giving myself getting myself sick because you lower
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your immune system. Something eventually is going to give.
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So understanding your your own symptoms and then understanding
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how long you've had those symptoms. So,
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you know, one of the things that I I wanna point out that I think
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is really important is
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we have coping mechanisms, and
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we tend to swap them. Do you
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know? And I have to say that my
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coping mechanism at the moment is Timu,
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which is taking me down the I I think I've worked it out, you know.
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But, you know, it's like, you know, I never realized
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that, you know, I I
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am a I I still am a compulsive overeater, but it is
17:00
controlled. And then I went from being a
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compulsive overeater to being a compulsive shopper.
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And typically typically, the good news is that I shop I
17:11
buy cheap things. So it hasn't made me bankrupt. So that's why our
17:15
team team move became, like, the perfect thing.
17:19
But we we substitute those things, and I think that,
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it is so important to recognize
17:28
that sometimes our obsessions
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even though there are things that we're really good at and can be
17:36
really beneficial I'm not saying shopping is all that beneficial. But let's
17:39
say for instance, you know, the person that overexercises,
17:45
right, to the point that it no longer is beneficial. That it's really,
17:49
you know, important for us to recognize that you can take something that's
17:53
good to an extreme. And it Oh, for sure.
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And it no longer really, really serves you. And, I think
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that's the other reason that I think having a variety of coping mechanisms
18:04
so that you don't get so, you know, into one that, you know,
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the other. Alright. So enough, enough
18:12
about that. I think the other thing, you know, the the
18:16
big thing that I was gonna say is I think it's important to have variety.
18:21
So I I just remembered again when I was losing weight, one of the things
18:24
was like, well, I'm gonna walk, you know. But then when it
18:28
rained, I didn't have a indoor exercise that I could
18:32
do to take the place of that. And so I think having a you know,
18:35
you use one of my favorite phrases, tools in your toolbox.
18:40
And this is actually going to a point, I think. And I think one
18:44
of the points is one of the toolbox that I think a
18:48
lot of us, especially entrepreneurs, are
18:51
incredibly deficient in is human contact.
18:56
We've gotten so isolated. I mean, I remember I
19:00
I, you know, I I was having a call with somebody, and they were like,
19:04
well, did you do that? I said, you know, I just need a
19:07
friend. I just need I just need some I don't
19:11
wanna I don't wanna critique on, you know, my business. I don't want any
19:14
helpful hints. I just wanna talk to somebody like another human
19:18
being. Do you know? And I think that
19:22
that's something that we don't often think about. And so I
19:25
often say to people, if you need somebody that you just want somebody
19:29
to listen and you don't wanna be critiqued
19:33
and you, you know, you know, sometimes I find that when, you
19:37
know, we're sick or somebody in our family is sick, we don't wanna talk to
19:40
them about it because we don't wanna worry them. You just need an outside ear.
19:44
And I think can you talk a little bit about how that
19:47
human contact can be golden? Oh my
19:51
goodness. Yeah. And I think this only because you've mentioned overdoing stuff.
19:55
So speed as an entrepreneur. Right? You go you have
19:58
opposites. The person that doesn't go out that's stuck behind the computer, and then you
20:01
have the person that's always out. Right? So I thought there's a I was always
20:04
taught to find that balance, and that's hard to do because there's always some type
20:08
of networking meeting. And as an entrepreneur, you're doing all the
20:11
pieces. Right? You are the admin. You're the billing. You're the social media person. You're
20:15
the where you are all the people. So trying to find that balance is
20:19
super overwhelming. So I think there's a couple pieces to this. 1, I like
20:22
someone taught me this phrase, and I always keep it with me. There's only one
20:26
letter separating from networking to no working. So
20:29
just keeping that in mind. Right? So there's that balance, like,
20:33
you're talking about earlier, not just focusing on on one avenue.
20:37
And then the other piece, there's a couple of pieces that why entrepreneurs got lonely.
20:41
1, entrepreneurs typically don't have a partner that's on as
20:44
another entrepreneur. Right? So, like, for example, my husband, he is a former carpenter.
20:48
Right? He goes to work. He comes home. He goes to work. He comes home.
20:52
That balance of understanding that there's gonna be some nights I'm sitting with my laptop
20:55
because I couldn't I was out networking that day. I was out presenting that day.
20:59
So there's gonna be times where I have to put the admin hat on when
21:01
I'm with him. But there's also I have to find that balance so I'm not
21:05
always doing that. Right? So it's trying to find that balance. So there's that
21:08
human connection where you need to be with other people. So there is days
21:12
where, yes, I can sit with him on the computer, sit with him on the
21:15
couch with my computer, and that's okay. But where is that
21:19
balance? Right? So there's finding that balance, but there's a big piece with the human
21:23
connection is that communication piece. So when I'm talking to him and
21:26
saying this is what I need and want, this is the support I
21:30
need. This I need to go laugh. I need to go move because I've been
21:33
sitting in my desk. My my body is stiff. I need to be out of
21:36
the house. Right? I need or it's been a long back to back day
21:40
where it's either networking meetings or, you know, client meetings, and
21:43
so I don't wanna have conversations. And so but I just wanna sit with him
21:47
and watch our wheel of fortune together. Right? And so it's figuring out that, quote,
21:51
unquote, balance, but a lot of that does start with that communication
21:55
piece of saying, this is what I need, this kind of support I need. But
21:58
to have that, it goes back to having that consistency in my life knowing
22:12
and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm allowed to be tired and frustrated and still
22:16
go watch Wheel of Fortune with him. Right? There's finding that balance and
22:20
having that human connection because just being in the same room means
22:24
something. But then there's days I'm like, let's go out or let's have a
22:27
date night inside. Let's play a board game. Right? And so but it's
22:31
figuring out what I need kinda like you were saying earlier. Different tools and
22:34
toolbox. It's different tools and toolbox. So what do I need for that human connection?
22:39
I would just say I would just say as someone who's been married over 50
22:42
years, probably the best lesson I ever learned is
22:46
your partner is not a mind reader. As much as you would think that
22:50
they are, they are not. And it's really unfair of you
22:54
to to to think that. And so, you
22:57
know, sometimes I think my husband thinks I'm nuts because I'll go, what's on
23:01
your agenda today? Would you rather that I spend time with you? I
23:05
have some time that I can spend and have lunch with you this afternoon,
23:09
or I can, you know, keep working and be done
23:12
earlier and spend time in the evening. Which would you prefer? You know?
23:16
Yeah. Baseball game is this evening. Let's do something at lunchtime. And
23:19
it just made life so much simpler just because I'll be like, I'm finishing.
23:23
I'm finishing. I'm getting he's like, I'm gonna watch the baseball game. I'm like
23:29
no. So so alright. So, unfortunately, we are
23:33
our time is almost up. So can you tell
23:37
us, like, just real fast, like, just a couple of things
23:41
that you think are, like, really good starting points?
23:44
Yeah. Of course. I don't care if it's a morning routine, a lunch
23:48
routine, or a night routine. Find one thing for you to do every single day.
23:52
Don't care what it is. Find one point in time of day that makes the
23:55
most sense for you. So if you're not a morning person, do not force yourself
23:58
to get up right away. Find one thing to create that foundation, and then start
24:02
there. So finding some a time of the day that makes the most sense for
24:05
you today, start there. 1 to 5 minutes, making it a 1 to 5
24:08
minute habit. Do that for a couple weeks, and then add on to it.
24:12
So maybe the first couple weeks, it's coffee. Next couple weeks, it's 1 page. Next
24:16
couple weeks, it's such a where you add on to that. It goes back to
24:19
that stacking mindset. Right? So just slowly add it on to it because remember your
24:23
base is the foundation. That's what we wanna focus on, creating foundations. Not that
24:26
you can't handle 6 more habits in the morning. It doesn't make you weak
24:30
or anything like that. It's just creating a foundation because life is always going
24:34
to happen. So how do we create that foundation? So that you've got
24:38
consistency. And that's the other thing in business too. It's Yeah.
24:42
You decide that that consistency, that regularity.
24:45
Alright. Here's the question. Okay. Let's hear it. When was the last
24:49
time you did something new for the first time?
24:53
I think oh, don't quote me. This first thing came to my brain. I might
24:57
be wrong, though. January, I went cliff jumping.
25:02
Oh my god.
25:06
You that is fabulous. That is fab I'm always surprised at what people
25:10
say to me. You know? That is a fabulous thing. Jessica,
25:14
thank you so much for spending time with us. This has been
25:17
really helpful, and I know that burnout
25:21
is something that entrepreneurs have and are not necessarily
25:25
aware of it. And so I think it's really important to take a
25:29
look at that. So, guys, we have to bring this to an end.
25:32
Oh, I didn't you know, what I didn't do is ask you what your your
25:36
freebie is. It's gonna be in the notes. Oh, the freebie. So speaking
25:39
of boundaries, consistency, time, all that fun stuff, I am giving you my free
25:43
time management guide. Okay. So who doesn't need
25:47
that? Because we all only have 24
25:50
hours. It's just a matter of what you do in it and how to prioritize
25:54
that. Oh, yeah. So guys, bringing this to an end, you know, I want
25:57
you to be sure that you subscribe, that you share,
26:01
you know, wherever you do your social media and take a look. And, you know,
26:05
the more people that that look at this, the more vibrant the community becomes.
26:09
And I wanna make sure that you join us for one small change again.
26:13
And I have been really lucky to have some really
26:16
interesting people come and share things that are definitely
26:20
going to help you. They're gonna help you to,
26:25
you know, dive into a world and have a bolder vision and more
26:28
innovative possibilities. Jessica, give us your last words.
26:32
Oh, last words. Drink the coffee while it's hot. Drink the coffee while it's
26:36
hot. I love that. I'm a coffee drinker, and I I it does make a
26:39
difference whether you drink it when it's hot or not. Okay.
26:43
So my last thing is always is remember that change is simple, but it's not
26:47
always easy. And it requires courage, resilience, and a
26:50
willingness to stop and step outside your your comfort
26:54
zone. And so I hope you will join me again next week when we
26:57
embark on this journey again, and I will have another
27:01
amazing guest for you. Until then, stay curious
27:05
and don't be judgmental. Bye.