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Pamela, or Virtue Rewarded Volume 1 Letter 4 · The Samuel Richardson Library

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Speaker 1: PAMELA or Virtue Rewarded, by Samuel Richardson, section 4. Letter 24.
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Speaker 1: Dear father and mother, I shall write on as long
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Speaker 1: as I stay, though I should have nothing but silliness
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Speaker 1: to write, for I know you divert yourselves on nights
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Speaker 1: with what I write, because it is mine. John tells
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Speaker 1: me how much you long for my coming, but he
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Speaker 1: says he told you he hoped something would happen to
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Speaker 1: hinder it. I am glad you did not tell him
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Speaker 1: the occasion of my coming away, for if my fellow-servants
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Speaker 1: should guess, it were better so than to have it
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Speaker 1: from you or me. Besides, I really am concerned that
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Speaker 1: my master should cast away a thought upon such a
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Speaker 1: poor creature as me, for, besides the disgrace, it has
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Speaker 1: quite turned his temper, and I begin to believe what Mrs.
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Speaker 1: Jervis told me, that he likes me and can't help it,
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Speaker 1: and yet strives to conquer it and so finds no
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Speaker 1: way but to be crossed to me. Don't think me
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Speaker 1: presumptuous and conceited, for it is more my concern than
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Speaker 1: my pride to see such a gentleman so demean himself,
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Speaker 1: and lessen the regard he used to have in the
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Speaker 1: eyes of all his servants on my account. But I
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Speaker 1: am to tell you of my new dress to-day. And so,
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Speaker 1: when I had dined, upstairs I went, and locked myself
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Speaker 1: into my little room. There I tricked myself up as
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Speaker 1: well as I could in my new garb, and put
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Speaker 1: on my round-eared ordinary cap, but with a green knot, however,
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Speaker 1: and my homespun gown and petticoat, and plain leather shoes,
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Speaker 1: but yet they are what they call Spanish leather, and
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Speaker 1: my ordinary hose, or ordinary, I mean, to what I
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Speaker 1: have been lately used to, though I shall think good
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Speaker 1: yarn may do very well for every day when I
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Speaker 1: come home. A plain muslin tucker I put on, and
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Speaker 1: my black silk necklace, instead of the French necklace my
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Speaker 1: lady gave me, and put the earrings out of my ears,
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Speaker 1: and when I was quite equipped, I took my straw
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Speaker 1: hat in my hand with its two blue strings, and
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Speaker 1: looked about me in the glass as proud as anything.
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Speaker 1: To say truth, I never liked myself so well in
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Speaker 1: my life. Oh, the pleasure of descending with ease, innocence,
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Speaker 1: and resignation! Indeed, there is nothing like it. An humble mind,
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Speaker 1: I plainly see, cannot meet with any very shocking disappointment.
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Speaker 1: Let fortune's wheel turn round as it will. So I
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Speaker 1: went down to look for Mrs. Jervis, to see how
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Speaker 1: she liked me. I met, as I was upon the stairs,
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Speaker 1: our Rachel, who is the housemaid, and she made me
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Speaker 1: a low curtsy, and I found, did not know me.
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Speaker 1: So I smiled, and went to the housekeeper's parlour, and
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Speaker 1: there sat good Mrs. Jervis at work, making a shift,
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Speaker 1: and would you believe it, she did not know me
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Speaker 1: at first, but rose up, and pulled off her spectacles,
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Speaker 1: and said, Do you want me forsooth? I could not
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Speaker 1: help laughing, and said, Hey day, Mrs. Jervis, what, don't
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Speaker 1: you know me? She stood all in amaze, and looked
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Speaker 1: at me from top to toe. Why, you surprise me,
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Speaker 1: said she. What, Pamela, thus metamorphosed? How came this about?
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Speaker 1: As it happened, in stepped my master, and my back
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Speaker 1: being to him, he thought it was a stranger speaking
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Speaker 1: to Mrs. Jervis, and withdrew again, and did not hear
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Speaker 1: her ask if his honour had any commands for her.
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Speaker 1: She turned me about and about, and I showed her
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Speaker 1: all my dress, to my under-petticoat, and she said, sitting down, Why,
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Speaker 1: I am all in amaze. I must sit down. What
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Speaker 1: can all this mean? I told her I had no
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Speaker 1: clothes suitable to my condition when I returned to my father's,
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Speaker 1: and so it was better to begin here, as I
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Speaker 1: was soon to go away, that all my fellow-servants might
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Speaker 1: see I knew how to suit myself to the state
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Speaker 1: I was returning to. Well, said she, I never knew
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Speaker 1: the like of thee. But this sad preparation for going away,
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Speaker 1: for now I see you are quite in earnest, is
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Speaker 1: what I know not how to get over. Oh, my
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Speaker 1: dear Pamela, how can I part with you? My master
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Speaker 1: rung in the back parlour, and so I withdrew, and Mrs.
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Speaker 1: Jervis went to attend him. It seems he said to her,
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Speaker 1: I was coming in to let you know that I
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Speaker 1: shall go to Lincolnshire, and possibly to my sister Dava's,
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Speaker 1: and be absent some weeks. But pray, what pretty neat
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Speaker 1: damsel was with you! She says she smiled. and asked
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Speaker 1: if his honour did not know who it was no
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Speaker 1: said he i never saw her before farmer nicholls or
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Speaker 1: farmer brady have neither of them such a tight prim
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Speaker 1: lass for a daughter have they though i did not
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Speaker 1: see her face neither said he if your honour won't
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Speaker 1: be angry said she i will introduce her into your
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Speaker 1: presence for i think says she she outdoes her pamela
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Speaker 1: now I did not thank her for this, as I
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Speaker 1: told her afterwards, for it brought a great deal of
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Speaker 1: trouble upon me, as well as crossness, as you shall hear.
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Speaker 1: That can't be, he was pleased to say, but if
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Speaker 1: you can find an excuse for it, let her come in.
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Speaker 1: At that she stepped to me, and told me I
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Speaker 1: must go in with her to her master, but, said she,
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Speaker 1: for goodness' sake, let him find you help, for he
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Speaker 1: don't know you. Oh, fine, Mrs. Jervis, said I, how
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Speaker 1: could you serve me so? Besides, it looks too free
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Speaker 1: both in me and to him. I tell you, said she,
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Speaker 1: you shall come in, and pray don't reveal yourself till
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Speaker 1: he finds you out. So I went in, foolish as
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Speaker 1: I was, though I must have been seen by him
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Speaker 1: another time if I had not then, and she would
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Speaker 1: make me take my straw hat in my hand. I
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Speaker 1: dropped a low curtsy, but said never a word. I
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Speaker 1: dare say he knew me as soon as he saw
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Speaker 1: my face, but was cunning as Lucifer. He came up
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Speaker 1: to me and took me by the hand and said,
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Speaker 1: whose pretty maiden are you i dare say you're pamela's
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Speaker 1: sister you're so like her so neat so clean so
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Speaker 1: pretty why child you far surpass your sister pamela i
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Speaker 1: was all confusion and would have spoken but he took
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Speaker 1: me about the neck why said he you're very pretty
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Speaker 1: child i would not be so free with your sister
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Speaker 1: you may believe but i must kiss you oh sir
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Speaker 1: said i i am pamela indeed i am indeed i
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Speaker 1: am pamela her own self He kissed me for all
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Speaker 1: I could do, and said, Impossible! You're a lovelier girl
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Speaker 1: by half than Pamela, and sure I may be innocently
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Speaker 1: free with you, though I would not do her so
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Speaker 1: much favour. This was a sad trick upon me indeed,
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Speaker 1: and what I could not expect, and Mrs. Jervis looked
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Speaker 1: like a fool as much as I for her officiousness.
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Speaker 1: At last I got away, and ran out of the parlour,
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Speaker 1: most sadly vexed, as you may well think. He talked
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Speaker 1: a good deal to Mrs. Jervis, and at last ordered
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Speaker 1: me to come in to him.' Come in,' said he,'
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Speaker 1: you little villain!' So he called me. Good sirs, what
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Speaker 1: a name was there!' who is it you put your
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Speaker 1: tricks upon i was resolved never to honour your unworthiness
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Speaker 1: said he with so much notice again and so you
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Speaker 1: must disguise yourself to attract me and yet pretend like
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Speaker 1: an hypocrite as you are i was out of patience
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Speaker 1: then hold good sirs had i dont impute disguise and
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Speaker 1: hypocrisy to me above all things for i hate them
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Speaker 1: both mean as i am i have put on no
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Speaker 1: disguise What a plague, said he, for that was his word.
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Speaker 1: Do you mean, then, by this dress? Why, and please
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Speaker 1: your honour, said I, I mean one of the honestest
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Speaker 1: things in the world. I have been in disguise indeed
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Speaker 1: ever since my good lady, your mother, took me from
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Speaker 1: my poor parents. I came to her ladyship so poor
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Speaker 1: and mean that these clothes I have on are a
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Speaker 1: princely suit to those I had then, and her goodness
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Speaker 1: heaped upon me rich clothes and other bounties, and as
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Speaker 1: i am now returning to my poor parents again so
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Speaker 1: soon i cannot wear those good things without being hooted
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Speaker 1: at and so have bought what will be more suitable
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Speaker 1: to my degree and be a good holiday suit too
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Speaker 1: when i get home he then took me in his
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Speaker 1: arms and presently pushed me from him mrs jervis said
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Speaker 1: he take the little witch from me i can neither
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Speaker 1: bear nor forbear her strange words these but stay you
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Speaker 1: shan't go yet be gone no come back again i
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Speaker 1: thought he was mad for my share for he knew
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Speaker 1: not what it would have i was going however but
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Speaker 1: he stepped after me and took hold of my arm
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Speaker 1: and brought me in again i am sure he made
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Speaker 1: my arm black and blue for the marks are upon
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Speaker 1: it still sir sir said i pray have mercy i
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Speaker 1: will i will come in he sat down and looked
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Speaker 1: at me, and, as I thought afterwards, as sillily as
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Speaker 1: such a poor girl as I, at last he said, Well, Mrs. Jervis,
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Speaker 1: as I was telling you, you may permit her to
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Speaker 1: stay a little longer till I see if my sister
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Speaker 1: Davers will have her, if, meantime, she humble herself and
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Speaker 1: ask this as a favour, and is sorry for her
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Speaker 1: pertness and the liberty she has taken with my character
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Speaker 1: out of the house and in the house. Your Honour
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Speaker 1: indeed told me so, said Mrs. Jervis, but i never
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Speaker 1: found her inclinable to think herself in fault pride and
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Speaker 1: perverseness said he with a vengeance yet this is your
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Speaker 1: doting piece well for once i'll submit myself to tell
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Speaker 1: you assy said he to me you may stay a
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Speaker 1: fortnight longer till i see my sister davis do you
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Speaker 1: hear what i say to you statue can you neither
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Speaker 1: speak nor be thankful your honour frightens me so said
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Speaker 1: i that i can hardly speak but i will venture
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Speaker 1: to say that i have only to beg as a
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Speaker 1: favour that i may go to my father and mother
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Speaker 1: why fool said he won't you like to go wait
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Speaker 1: on my sister davis sir i said i was once
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Speaker 1: fond of that honour but you were pleased to say
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Speaker 1: i might be in danger from her ladyship's nephew or
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Speaker 1: he from me damned impertinence said he do you hear
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Speaker 1: miss jervis do you hear how she retorts upon me
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Speaker 1: whatever such matchless assurance i then fell a-weeping for mrs
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Speaker 1: jervis said fie pamela fie and I said, my lot
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Speaker 1: is very hard indeed, I am sure I would hurt nobody,
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Speaker 1: and I have been, it seems, guilty of indiscretions, which
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Speaker 1: have cost me my place and my master's favour, and
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Speaker 1: so have been turned here away, and when the time
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Speaker 1: is come that I should return to my poor parents,
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Speaker 1: I am not suffered to go quietly. Good your honour,
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Speaker 1: what have I done that I must be used worse
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Speaker 1: than if I had robbed you? Robbed me, said he, why, why,
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Speaker 1: so you have, hussy, you have robbed me. Who, sir?
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Speaker 1: aye sir said i have i robbed you why then
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Speaker 1: you are a justice of peace and may send me
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Speaker 1: to jail if you please and bring me to a
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Speaker 1: trial for my life if you can prove that i
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Speaker 1: have robbed you i am sure i ought to die
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Speaker 1: now i was quite ignorant of his meaning though i
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Speaker 1: did not like it when it was afterwards explained neither
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Speaker 1: and well thought i what will this come to at
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Speaker 1: last if poor pamela is esteemed a thief then i
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Speaker 1: thought in an instant how I should show my face
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Speaker 1: to my honest poor parents if I was but suspected. But, sir,
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Speaker 1: said I, let me ask you but one question, and
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Speaker 1: pray don't let me be called names for it, for
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Speaker 1: I don't mean disrespectfully. Why, if I have done amiss,
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Speaker 1: am I not left to be discharged by your housekeeper,
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Speaker 1: as the other maids have been? And if Jane, or Rachel,
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Speaker 1: or Hannah were to offend, would your honour stoop to
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Speaker 1: take notice of them? and why should you so demean
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Speaker 1: yourself to take notice of me pray sir if i
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Speaker 1: have not been worse than others why should i suffer
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Speaker 1: more than others and why should i not be turned
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Speaker 1: away and there's an end of it for indeed i
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Speaker 1: am not of consequence enough for my master to concern
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Speaker 1: himself and be angry about such a creature as me
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Speaker 1: do you hear mrs jervis cried he again how pertly
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Speaker 1: i am interrogated by this saucy slut why sauce-box says
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Speaker 1: he did not my good mother desire me to take
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Speaker 1: care of you and have you not been always distinguished
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Speaker 1: by me above a common servant and has your ingratitude
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Speaker 1: upbraid me for this I said something mutteringly, and he
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Speaker 1: vowed he would hear it. I begged excuse, but he
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Speaker 1: insisted upon it. Why then, said I, if your honour
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Speaker 1: must know, I said, that my good lady did not
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Speaker 1: desire your care to extend to the summer-house and her dressing-room? Well,
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Speaker 1: this was a little saucy, you'll say, and he flew
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Speaker 1: into such a passion that I was forced to run
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Speaker 1: for it, and Mrs. Jervis said it was happy I
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Speaker 1: got out of the way. Why? Why? What makes him
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Speaker 1: provoke one so then? I'm almost sorry for it, but
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Speaker 1: I would be glad to get away at any rate,
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Speaker 1: for I begin to be more fearful now. Just now Mr.
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Speaker 1: Jonathan sent me these lines. Bless me, what shall I do?
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Speaker 1: Dear Mrs. Pamela, take care of yourself, for Rachel heard
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Speaker 1: my master say to Mrs. Jervis, who she believes was
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Speaker 1: pleading for you, Say no more, Mrs. Jervis, for by
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Speaker 1: God I will have her. Burn this. instantly.' Oh, pray
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Speaker 1: for your poor daughter! I am called to go to
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Speaker 1: bed by Mrs. Jervis, for it is past eleven, and
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Speaker 1: I am sure she shall hear of it, for all
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Speaker 1: this is owing to her, though she did not mean
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Speaker 1: any harm. But I have been and am in a
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Speaker 1: strange fluster, and I suppose too she'll say I have
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Speaker 1: been full pert. Oh, my dear father and mother, power
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Speaker 1: and riches never want advocates. But poor gentlewoman, she cannot
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Speaker 1: live without him, and he has been very good to her.
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Speaker 1: So good night.' Maybe I shall send this in the morning,
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Speaker 1: but maybe not, so won't conclude, though I can't say
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Speaker 1: too often that I am, though with great apprehension, your
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Speaker 1: most dutiful daughter. Letter 25 My dear parents, O let
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Speaker 1: me take up my complaint and say, never was poor
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Speaker 1: creature so unhappy and so barbarously used as poor Pamela. Indeed,
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Speaker 1: my dear father and mother, my heart's just broke. I
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Speaker 1: can neither write as I should do, nor let it alone,
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Speaker 1: for to whom but you can I vent my griefs
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Speaker 1: and keep my poor heart from bursting. Wicked, wicked man!
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Speaker 1: I have no patience when I think of him, but
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Speaker 1: yet don't be frightened, for I hope I am honest.
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Speaker 1: But if my head and my hand will let me,
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Speaker 1: you shall hear all. Is there no constable, no head-borough, though,
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Speaker 1: to take me out of this house? For I am
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Speaker 1: sure I can safely swear the peace against him. But, alas,
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Speaker 1: he is greater than any constable. He is a justice himself.
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Speaker 1: Such a justice deliver me from. But God Almighty, I hope,
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Speaker 1: in time will right me, for he knows the innocence
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Speaker 1: of my heart. John went your way in the morning,
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Speaker 1: but I have been too much distracted to send by him,
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Speaker 1: and have seen nobody but Mrs. Jervis or Rachel. and
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Speaker 1: one I hate to see or be seen by, and
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Speaker 1: indeed I hate now to see anybody. Strange things, I
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Speaker 1: have to tell you, that happened since last night. That
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Speaker 1: good Mr. Jonathan's letter and my master's harshness put me
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Speaker 1: into such a fluster, but I will not keep you
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Speaker 1: in suspense. I went to Mrs. Jervis's chamber, and, oh dreadful,
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Speaker 1: my wicked master had hid himself, base gentleman as he is,
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Speaker 1: in her closet, where she has a few books and
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Speaker 1: chest of drawers and such like. I little suspected it,
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Speaker 1: though I used till this sad night always to look
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Speaker 1: into that closet and another in the room and under
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Speaker 1: the bed ever since the summer-house trick, but never found anything,
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Speaker 1: and so I did not do it then, being fully
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Speaker 1: resolved to be angry with Mrs. Jervis for what had
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Speaker 1: happened in the day, and so thought of nothing else.
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Speaker 1: I sat myself down on one side of the bed
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Speaker 1: and she on the other, and we began to undress ourselves,
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Speaker 1: but she on that side next the wicked closet that
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Speaker 1: held the worst heart in the world so said mrs
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Speaker 1: jervis you won't speak to me pamela i find you
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Speaker 1: are angry with me why mrs jervis said i so
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Speaker 1: i am a little tis a folly to deny it
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Speaker 1: you see what i have suffered by your forcing me
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Speaker 1: into my master and a gentlewoman of your years and
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Speaker 1: experience must needs know that it was not fit for
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Speaker 1: me to pretend to be anybody else for my own
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Speaker 1: sake nor with regard to my master but said she
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Speaker 1: Who would have thought it would have turned out so? I,
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Speaker 1: said I, little thinking who heard me, Lucifer always is
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Speaker 1: ready to promote his own work and workmen. You see
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Speaker 1: presently what use he made of it, pretending not to
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Speaker 1: know me on purpose, to be free with me. And
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Speaker 1: when he took upon himself to know me, to quarrel
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Speaker 1: with me, and to use me hardly, and you too,
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Speaker 1: said I, to cry fie, fie, Pamela, cut me to
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Speaker 1: the heart, for that encouraged him. Do you think, my dear,
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Speaker 1: said she, that I would encourage him? I never said
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Speaker 1: so to you before, but since you have forced it
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Speaker 1: from me, I must tell you that ever since you
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Speaker 1: consulted me, I have used my utmost endeavours to divert
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Speaker 1: him from his wicked purposes, and he has promised fair.
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Speaker 1: But to say it all in a word, he doubts
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Speaker 1: upon you, and I begin to see it is not
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Speaker 1: in his power to help it. i luckily said nothing
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Speaker 1: of the note from mr jonathan for i began to
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Speaker 1: suspect all the world almost but i said to try
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Speaker 1: mrs jervis well then what would you have me do
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Speaker 1: you see he is for having me wait on lady
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Speaker 1: davers now why i'll tell you freely my dear pamela
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Speaker 1: said she and i trust to your discretion to conceal
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Speaker 1: what i say my master has been often desiring me
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Speaker 1: to put you upon asking him to let you stay
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Speaker 1: yes said i mrs jervis let me interrupt you i
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Speaker 1: will tell you why i could not think of that
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Speaker 1: it was not the pride of my heart but the
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Speaker 1: pride of my honesty for what must have been the
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Speaker 1: case here my master has been very rude to me
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Speaker 1: once and twice and you say he cannot help it
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Speaker 1: though he pretends to be sorry for it He has
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Speaker 1: given me warning to leave my place, and uses me
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Speaker 1: very harshly, perhaps to frighten me to his purposes, as
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Speaker 1: he supposes I would be fond of staying, as indeed
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Speaker 1: I should if I could be safe, for I love
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Speaker 1: you and all the house, and value him if he
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Speaker 1: would act as my master. Well then, as I know
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Speaker 1: his designs, and that he owns that he cannot help it,
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Speaker 1: must I have asked to stay, knowing he would attempt
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Speaker 1: me again? for all you could assure me of was
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Speaker 1: he would do nothing by force. So I, a poor
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Speaker 1: weak girl, was to be left to my own strength,
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Speaker 1: and was not this to allow him to tempt me,
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Speaker 1: as one may say, and to encourage him to go
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Speaker 1: on in his wicked devices? How then, Mrs. Jervis, could
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Speaker 1: I ask or wish to stay?'' You say well, my
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Speaker 1: dear child,' says she,' and you have a justness of
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Speaker 1: thought above your yours.' For all these considerations, and for
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Speaker 1: what I have heard this day after you ran away,
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Speaker 1: and I'm glad you went as you did, I cannot
19:04
Speaker 1: persuade you to stay. And I shall be glad, which
19:07
Speaker 1: is what I never thought I could have said, that
19:09
Speaker 1: you were well at your father's. For if Lady Davers
19:12
Speaker 1: will entertain you, she may as well have you from
19:14
Speaker 1: thence as here. There's my good Mrs. Jervis, said I.
19:19
Speaker 1: God will bless you for your good counsel to a
19:21
Speaker 1: poor maiden that's hard beset. But pray, what did he
19:25
Speaker 1: say when I was gone? why says she he was
19:28
Speaker 1: very angry with you but he would hear it said
19:31
Speaker 1: i i think it was a little bold but then
19:33
Speaker 1: he provoked me to it and had not my honesty
19:36
Speaker 1: been in the case i would not by any means
19:39
Speaker 1: have been so saucy besides mrs jervis consider it was
19:42
Speaker 1: the truth if he does not love to hear of
19:45
Speaker 1: the summer-house and the dressing-room why should he not be
19:47
Speaker 1: ashamed to continue in the same mind' But,' says she,'
19:51
Speaker 1: when you had muttered this to yourself,' you might have
19:55
Speaker 1: told him anything else.'' Well,' said I,' I cannot tell
19:59
Speaker 1: a willful lie, and so there's an end of it.'
20:01
Speaker 1: But I find you now give him up, and think
20:04
Speaker 1: there's danger in staying.' Lord bless me! I wish I
20:08
Speaker 1: was well out of the house.' so it was at
20:10
Speaker 1: the bottom of a wet ditch on the wildest common
20:12
Speaker 1: in England.' Why,' said she,' it signifies nothing to tell
20:16
Speaker 1: you all he said. But it was enough to make
20:18
Speaker 1: me fear that you would not be so safe as
20:21
Speaker 1: I could wish. And upon my word, Pamela, I don't
20:23
Speaker 1: wonder he loves you. For without flattery you are a
20:26
Speaker 1: charming girl. I never saw you look more lovely in
20:29
Speaker 1: your life than in that same new dress of yours.
20:32
Speaker 1: And then it was such a surprise upon us all.
20:34
Speaker 1: I believe truly you owe some of your danger to
20:37
Speaker 1: the lovely appearance you made.' Then, said I, I wished
20:40
Speaker 1: the clothes in the fire. I expected no effect from them, but,
20:44
Speaker 1: if any, a quite contrary one. Hush, said I. Mrs. Jervis,
20:48
Speaker 1: did you not hear something stir in the closet? No,
20:51
Speaker 1: silly girl, said she. Your fears are always awake. But, indeed,
20:55
Speaker 1: said I, I think I heard something rustle. Maybe, says she,
20:59
Speaker 1: the cat may be there, but I hear nothing. I
21:03
Speaker 1: was harsh, but she said, Prithee, my good girl, make
21:06
Speaker 1: haste to bed, see if the door be fast. So
21:09
Speaker 1: I did, and was thinking to look into the closet,
21:11
Speaker 1: but hearing no more noise, thought it needless, and so
21:14
Speaker 1: went again, and sat myself down on the bedside, and
21:16
Speaker 1: went on undressing myself. And Mrs. Jervis, being by this
21:20
Speaker 1: time undressed, stepped into bed, and bid me hasten, for
21:23
Speaker 1: she was sleepy. I don't know what was the matter,
21:27
Speaker 1: but my heart sadly misgave me, Indeed, Mr. Jonathan's note
21:31
Speaker 1: was enough to make it do so, with what Mrs.
21:33
Speaker 1: Jervis had said. I pulled off my stays and my
21:36
Speaker 1: stockings and all my clothes to an under-petticoat, and then,
21:40
Speaker 1: hearing a rustle again in the closet, I said, Heaven
21:43
Speaker 1: protect us, but before I say my prayers I must
21:46
Speaker 1: look into this closet. And so was going to it, slipshod, when, oh, dreadful,
21:51
Speaker 1: outrushed my master in a rich silk and silver morning-gown.
21:55
Speaker 1: I screamed and ran to the bed, and Mrs. Jervis
21:58
Speaker 1: screamed too, and he said, I'll do you no harm
22:01
Speaker 1: if you forbear this noise, but otherwise take what follows.
22:05
Speaker 1: Instantly he came to the bed, for I had crept
22:07
Speaker 1: into it, to Mrs. Jervis, with my coat on and
22:09
Speaker 1: my shoes, and taking me in his arms, said, Mrs. Jervis, rise,
22:14
Speaker 1: and just step upstairs, and keep the maids from coming
22:17
Speaker 1: down at this noise. I'll do no harm to this rebel. Oh,
22:21
Speaker 1: for heaven's sake, for pity's sake, Mrs. Jervis, said I,
22:24
Speaker 1: if I am not betrayed, don't leave me, and I
22:27
Speaker 1: beseech you, raise all the house. no said mrs jervis
22:31
Speaker 1: i will not stir my dear lamb i will not
22:33
Speaker 1: leave you i wonder at you sir said she and
22:37
Speaker 1: kindly threw herself upon my coat clasping me around the
22:40
Speaker 1: waist you shall not hurt this innocent said she for
22:43
Speaker 1: i will lose my life in her defence are there
22:46
Speaker 1: not said she enough wicked ones in the world for
22:49
Speaker 1: your base purpose but you must attempt such a lamb
22:52
Speaker 1: as this he was desperate angry and threatened to throw
22:55
Speaker 1: her out of the window and to turn her out
22:57
Speaker 1: of the house the next morning you need not sir
23:00
Speaker 1: said she for i will not stay in it god
23:02
Speaker 1: defend my poor pamela till to-morrow and we will both
23:04
Speaker 1: go together says he let me but expostulate a word
23:08
Speaker 1: or two with you pamela pray pamela said mrs jervis
23:12
Speaker 1: don't hear a word except he leaves the bed and
23:14
Speaker 1: goes to the other end of the room ay out
23:17
Speaker 1: of the room said i expostulate to-morrow if you must
23:21
Speaker 1: I found his hand in my bosom, and when my
23:23
Speaker 1: fright let me know it, I was ready to die,
23:26
Speaker 1: and I sighed and screamed and fainted away, and still
23:29
Speaker 1: he had his arms about my neck, and Mrs. Jervis
23:32
Speaker 1: was about my feet and upon my coat, and all
23:34
Speaker 1: in a cold dewy sweat was I. Pamela, Pamela, said Mrs. Jervis,
23:39
Speaker 1: as she tells me since, and gave another shriek. My
23:43
Speaker 1: poor Pamela is dead for certain. and so to be
23:46
Speaker 1: sure I was for a time, for I knew nothing
23:49
Speaker 1: more of the matter. One fit following another, till about
23:52
Speaker 1: three hours after, as it proved to be, I found
23:55
Speaker 1: myself in bed, and Mrs. Jervis sitting upon one side
23:58
Speaker 1: with her wrapper about her, and Rachel on the other,
24:01
Speaker 1: and no master, for the wicked wretch was gone. But
24:05
Speaker 1: I was so overjoyed that I hardly could believe myself,
24:08
Speaker 1: and I said, which were my first words, Mrs. Jervis, Mrs. Rachel,
24:12
Speaker 1: can I be sure it's you? Tell me, can I?
24:15
Speaker 1: Where have I been? Hush, my dear, said Mrs. Jervis.
24:18
Speaker 1: You have been in fit after fit. I never saw
24:21
Speaker 1: anybody so frightful in my life. By this I judged
24:25
Speaker 1: Rachel knew nothing of the matter, and it seems my
24:27
Speaker 1: wicked master had, upon Mrs. Jervis's second noise on my
24:31
Speaker 1: fainting away, slipped out, and, as if he had come
24:35
Speaker 1: from his own chamber, disturbed by the screaming, went up
24:38
Speaker 1: to the maid's room, who, hearing the noise, lay trembling
24:41
Speaker 1: and afraid to stir, and bid them go down and
24:43
Speaker 1: see what was the matter with Mrs. Jervis and me.
24:46
Speaker 1: and he charged Mrs. Jervis and promised to forgive her
24:49
Speaker 1: for what she had said and done if she would
24:51
Speaker 1: conceal the matter. So the maids came down, and all
24:54
Speaker 1: went up again when I came to myself a little,
24:56
Speaker 1: except Rachel, who stayed to sit up with me and
24:58
Speaker 1: bear Mrs. Jervis company. I believe they all guessed the
25:02
Speaker 1: matter to be bad enough, though they dare not say anything.
25:05
Speaker 1: When I think of my danger, and the freedoms he
25:08
Speaker 1: actually took, though I believe Mrs. Jervis saved me from
25:11
Speaker 1: worse than she said she did, though what can I think,
25:14
Speaker 1: who was in a fit and knew nothing of the matter,
25:17
Speaker 1: I am almost distracted. At first I was afraid of Mrs. Jervis,
25:21
Speaker 1: but I am fully satisfied. She is very good, and
25:24
Speaker 1: I should have been lost but for her. And she
25:27
Speaker 1: takes on grievously about it. What would have become of
25:30
Speaker 1: me had she gone out of the room to still
25:32
Speaker 1: the maids as he bid her? He'd certainly have shut
25:34
Speaker 1: her out, and then mercy on me! What would have
25:37
Speaker 1: become of your poor Pamela? I must leave off a little,
25:40
Speaker 1: for my eyes and my head are sadly bad. This
25:43
Speaker 1: was a dreadful trial. This was the worst of all. Oh,
25:46
Speaker 1: that I was out of the power of this dreadfully
25:48
Speaker 1: wicked man! Pray for your distressed daughter! Letter 26 My
25:58
Speaker 1: dear father and mother, I did not rise till ten o'clock,
26:03
Speaker 1: and I had all the concerns and wishes of the family,
26:06
Speaker 1: and multitudes of inquiries about me. My wicked master went
26:11
Speaker 1: out early to hunt, but left word he would be
26:13
Speaker 1: in to breakfast, and so he was. He came up
26:17
Speaker 1: to our chamber about eleven, and had nothing to do
26:20
Speaker 1: to be sorry, for he was our master, and so
26:23
Speaker 1: put on sharp anger at first. I had great emotions
26:27
Speaker 1: at his entering the room, and threw my apron over
26:30
Speaker 1: my head, and fell a-crying, as if my heart would break.' Mrs. Jervis,'
26:35
Speaker 1: said he, 'since I know you, and you me so well,
26:39
Speaker 1: I don't know how we shall live together for the future.'' Sir,'
26:43
Speaker 1: said she,' I will take the liberty to say what
26:46
Speaker 1: I think is best for both. I have so much
26:49
Speaker 1: grief that you should attempt to do any injury to
26:53
Speaker 1: this poor girl.' and especially in my chamber, that I
26:56
Speaker 1: should think myself accessory to the mischief, if I was
27:00
Speaker 1: not to take notice of it. Though my ruin therefore
27:04
Speaker 1: may depend upon it, I desire not to stay, but
27:07
Speaker 1: pray let poor Pamela and me go together. With all
27:11
Speaker 1: my heart, said he, and the sooner the better. She
27:14
Speaker 1: fell a-crying. I find, says he, this girl has made
27:18
Speaker 1: a party of the whole house in her favour against me.
27:21
Speaker 1: Her innocence deserves it of us all. said she very
27:25
Speaker 1: kindly and i never could have thought that the son
27:28
Speaker 1: of my dear good lady departed could have so forfeited
27:31
Speaker 1: his honour as to endeavour to destroy a virtue he
27:35
Speaker 1: ought to protect no more of this mrs jervis said
27:38
Speaker 1: he i will not hear it as for pamela she
27:40
Speaker 1: has a lucky knack of falling into fits when she
27:43
Speaker 1: pleases but the cursed yellings of you both made me
27:47
Speaker 1: not myself i intended no harm to her as i
27:50
Speaker 1: told you both if you'd have left off your squallings
27:53
Speaker 1: and I did no harm neither, but to myself, for
27:56
Speaker 1: I raised a hornet's nest about my ears, that, as
27:58
Speaker 1: far as I know, may have stung to death my reputation. Sir,
28:03
Speaker 1: said Mrs. Jervis, then I beg Mr. Longman may take
28:07
Speaker 1: my account, and I will go away as soon as
28:09
Speaker 1: I can. As for Pamela, she is at her liberty,
28:12
Speaker 1: I hope, to go away next Thursday, as she intends.
28:16
Speaker 1: I sat still, for I could not speak nor look up,
28:19
Speaker 1: and his presence discomposed me extremely. but I was sorry
28:23
Speaker 1: to hear myself the unhappy occasion of Mrs. Jervis's losing
28:26
Speaker 1: her place, and hoped that may be still made up.' Well,'
28:30
Speaker 1: said he,' let Mr. Longman make up your accounts as
28:33
Speaker 1: soon as you will, and Mrs. Jukes, who is his
28:36
Speaker 1: housekeeper in Lincolnshire, shall come hither in your place, and
28:39
Speaker 1: won't be less obliging, I dare say, than you have been,'
28:43
Speaker 1: said she,' I have never disobliged you till now, and
28:46
Speaker 1: let me tell you, sir, if you knew what belonged
28:49
Speaker 1: to your own reputation or honour no more no more
28:52
Speaker 1: said he of these antiquated topics i have been no
28:56
Speaker 1: bad friend to you and i shall always esteem you
28:59
Speaker 1: though you have not been so faithful to my secrets
29:01
Speaker 1: as i could have wished and have laid me open
29:03
Speaker 1: to this girl which has made her more afraid of
29:05
Speaker 1: me than she had occasion well sir said she after
29:09
Speaker 1: what passed yesterday and last night I think I went
29:13
Speaker 1: rather too far in favour of your injunctions than otherwise,
29:16
Speaker 1: and I should have deserved every body's censure as the
29:19
Speaker 1: basest of creatures, had I been capable of contributing to
29:23
Speaker 1: your lawless attempt. Still, Mrs. Jervis, still reflecting upon me,
29:28
Speaker 1: and all for imaginary faults, for what harm have I
29:31
Speaker 1: done the girl? I won't bear it, I'll assure you.
29:33
Speaker 1: But yet, in respect to my mother, I am willing
29:36
Speaker 1: to part friendly with you, though you ought both of
29:38
Speaker 1: you to reflect on the freedom of your conversation in
29:41
Speaker 1: relation to me,' which I should have resented more than
29:43
Speaker 1: I do,' but that I am conscious I had no
29:46
Speaker 1: business to demean myself so as to be in your
29:48
Speaker 1: closet' where I might have expected to hear a multitude
29:51
Speaker 1: of impertinence between you.'' Well, sir,' said she,' you have
29:55
Speaker 1: no objection, I hope, to Pamela going away on Thursday next?'
29:59
Speaker 1: You are mighty solicitous, said he, about Pamela. But no,
30:03
Speaker 1: not I. Let her go as soon as she will.
30:05
Speaker 1: She is a naughty girl, and has brought all this
30:07
Speaker 1: upon herself, and upon me more trouble than she can
30:10
Speaker 1: have had from me. But I have overcome it all,
30:13
Speaker 1: and will never concern myself about her. I have a
30:17
Speaker 1: proposal made me, added he, since I have been out
30:20
Speaker 1: this morning, that I shall go near to embrace— and
30:23
Speaker 1: so wish only that a discreet use may be made
30:26
Speaker 1: of what is past, and there's an end of everything
30:28
Speaker 1: with me as to Pamela, I assure you. I clasped
30:32
Speaker 1: my hands together through my apron, overjoyed at this, though
30:36
Speaker 1: I was soon to go away. For naughty as he
30:39
Speaker 1: has been to me, I wish his prosperity with all
30:42
Speaker 1: my heart for my good old lady's sake. Well, Pamela,
30:46
Speaker 1: says he, you need not now be afraid to speak
30:49
Speaker 1: to me. Tell me what you lifted up your hands at.
30:52
Speaker 1: I said not a word. Says he,' If you like
30:55
Speaker 1: what I have said, give me your hand upon it.'
30:58
Speaker 1: I held my hand up through my apron, for I
31:01
Speaker 1: could not speak to him, and he took hold of
31:03
Speaker 1: it and pressed it, though less hard than he did
31:05
Speaker 1: my arm the day before.' What does the little fool
31:09
Speaker 1: cover her face for?' said he.' Pull your apron away,
31:12
Speaker 1: and let me see how you look after your freedom
31:14
Speaker 1: of speech of me last night. No wonder you are
31:17
Speaker 1: ashamed to see me. You know you were very free
31:19
Speaker 1: with my character.' I could not stand this barbarous insult,
31:24
Speaker 1: as I took it to be, considering his behaviour to me,
31:27
Speaker 1: and I then spoke and said, Oh, the difference between
31:29
Speaker 1: the minds of thy creatures, good God! How shall some
31:33
Speaker 1: be cast down in their innocence, while others can triumph
31:36
Speaker 1: in their guilt? And so saying, I went upstairs to
31:39
Speaker 1: my chamber, and wrote all this, for though he vexed
31:42
Speaker 1: me at his taunting, yet I was pleased to hear
31:45
Speaker 1: he was likely to be married, and that his wicked
31:47
Speaker 1: intentions were so happily overcome as to me, and this
31:51
Speaker 1: made me a little easier. And I hope I have
31:53
Speaker 1: passed the worst, or else it is very hard, and
31:57
Speaker 1: yet I shan't think myself at ease quite till I
31:59
Speaker 1: am with you, for methinks after all his repentance and
32:03
Speaker 1: amendment are mighty suddenly resolved upon. But the divine grace
32:08
Speaker 1: is not confined to space, and remorse may and I
32:11
Speaker 1: hope has smitten him to the heart at once for
32:14
Speaker 1: his injuries to poor me, yet I won't be too
32:17
Speaker 1: secure neither. Having opportunity, I send now what I know
32:21
Speaker 1: will grieve you to the heart, but I hope I
32:24
Speaker 1: shall bring my next scribble myself, and so conclude, though
32:28
Speaker 1: half broken-hearted, your ever dutiful daughter.