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10 | The 7th Circle Back of Hell · You Didn't Ask For This

• 0:00
  Matt: I got I I I I can start a situation.
• 0:02
  Matt: Please do.
• 0:03
  Matt: Um let me see how I want to do it.
• 0:10
  Matt: I want the anticipation to kill you.
• 0:15
  Matt: Do you find that there are words or phrases that for you will instantly trigger childhood trauma?
• 0:25
  Matt: Or is that just me?
• 0:27
  Matt: Give me an example.
• 0:28
  Matt: Oh, I'll give you an example.
• 0:29
  Matt: Okay.
• 0:30
  Matt: Because, Eric, this is fresh on my mind.
• 0:32
  Matt: This is top of mind for me.
• 0:34
  Matt: Because earlier today, I was on the uh internet and I came upon a phrase that I believe is basically, for me, a pitfall of emotional turmoil.
• 0:51
  Matt: And that phrase is, I did my best work today.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_04: Go on.
• 0:57
  Matt: And I would like, I yeah, I somebody, somebody on, I think it was Facebook that I was on, made a post that included the phrase, word for word, I did my best work today.
• 1:09
  Matt: This is a loaded phrase for me, Eric.
• 1:12
  Matt: Uh would you like to um would you like to know why?
• 1:15
  Eric: Please, Matthew.
• 1:16
  Eric: And I would like your thoughts on this.
• 1:17
  Eric: And know that this is a safe space for you.
• 1:20
  Eric: Thank you.
• 1:21
  Matt: Uh when I was in.
• 1:23
  Matt: Ooh, it's a toss-up between third or fourth grade.
• 1:25
  Matt: I can't remember exactly which one.
• 1:27
  Matt: I think we're talking about fourth grade.
• 1:30
  Matt: I think.
• 1:32
  Matt: When I was in this grade, no, you know what?
• 1:35
  Matt: I believe it was Mrs.
• 1:36
  Matt: Steigleman, so that would have been third grade.
• 1:39
  Matt: I this might come as no surprise.
• 1:43
  Matt: I was a messy child.
• 1:45
  Matt: I was disorganized.
• 1:47
  Matt: And what do you know?
• 1:49
  Matt: I became a messy adult.
• 1:52
  Matt: But this didn't sit well with my uh teachers, with the educators of my elementary school.
• 1:59
  Matt: They saw me with my little, you know, the little you know the desk, the classic school desk full of stuff.
• 2:06
  Matt: Well, mine was just a uh uh I I it was a dumpster in there.
• 2:11
  Matt: Like you, it was just a brick wall of papers, a solid wall of papers.
• 2:16
  Matt: Do you know what I'm talking about?
• 2:17
  Eric: You were in good company, friend.
• 2:18
  Eric: That was my desk in elementary school.
• 2:20
  Eric: Oh, yeah.
• 2:20
  Eric: Oh, it was.
• 2:21
  Eric: Like at the end of the year, it was a whole event cleaning it out.
• 2:24
  Eric: Yeah.
• 2:25
  Matt: Okay, yeah.
• 2:26
  Matt: And like by the time you got to the back, you were like an archaeologist pulling out fossils from from October.
• 2:32
  Matt: These these markings, could it be?
• 2:36
  Matt: These mean something.
• 2:38
  Matt: Someone once lived here.
• 2:41
  Matt: Uh so okay, so good.
• 2:43
  Matt: I feel like a I feel like this is not an uncommon thing that people are that kids have uh after being given a hole with which to just jam full of stuff, jam full of stuff.
• 2:57
  Matt: Sure, there are those kids with their nice, neat organized piles, but sociopaths.
• 3:03
  Matt: Uh yeah, sociopaths.
• 3:05
  Matt: Exactly.
• 3:06
  Matt: So this didn't sit well with the with the educators.
• 3:10
  Matt: So what did they decide that needed to happen?
• 3:13
  Matt: I'll tell you what they decided.
• 3:15
  Matt: They decided that I needed a box.
• 3:18
  Matt: They gave me a box.
• 3:21
  Matt: Wait, like cool hand luke, they put you in the box.
• 3:24
  Matt: No, no, no.
• 3:25
  Matt: They gave me a box to put next to my desk with filing cabinet files.
• 3:32
  Matt: Okay.
• 3:33
  Matt: They saw a kid who couldn't keep the inside of a desk organized, and they said, you know what this kid needs?
• 3:41
  Matt: A drop box next to his chair.
• 3:44
  Matt: A bully magnet.
• 3:45
  Matt: And a bully magnet.
• 3:48
  Matt: I was relentlessly tortured over this box.
• 3:52
  Matt: Oh no.
• 3:53
  Matt: Relentlessly tortured over this box.
• 3:54
  Matt: And of course, it was made worse by the fact that what did I do with this box?
• 3:58
  Matt: Did I take these uh folders uh and and and suddenly become somebody who can work a filing cabinet when he couldn't wrap his head around keeping a pile straight?
• 4:10
  Matt: No, I just dumped things in the box.
• 4:12
  Matt: You just had more real estate now.
• 4:14
  Matt: I just had it, they gave me a dumpster that I could just throw things at.
• 4:20
  Matt: So of course I did.
• 4:21
  Matt: The first time one of those filing cabinet things fell down, it was all hellbroke's loose.
• 4:25
  Matt: And this box, this box was covered in woo yellow construction paper.
• 4:32
  Matt: I believe this box is still my house, by the way.
• 4:34
  Matt: My my you know, family estate.
• 4:38
  Matt: And the yellow construction paper was covered with stickers of turtles.
• 4:43
  Matt: Okay?
• 4:44
  Matt: Okay, because I like turtles.
• 4:46
  Matt: All right, still do have still have the same turtle I've had for uh over two decades.
• 4:52
  Matt: So, those turtles, however, on their shell, on my dumpster box, here it comes said Here it is.
• 5:01
  Matt: I did my best work today.
• 5:04
  Eric: Oh, buddy.
• 5:06
  Matt: And you know how many people, how many of these kids, these evil kids, bastards, came up to me and said, Matt, did you do your best work today?
• 5:16
  Matt: Those fucking pieces of shit.
• 5:19
  Matt: Now Matt keeps a list in that box.
• 5:23
  Eric: Now my box is filled with trophies.
• 5:27
  Eric: That's horrifying.
• 5:28
  Eric: And I'm so sorry.
• 5:29
  Eric: I do I know exactly what you're talking about, though.
• 5:31
  Eric: Like words that I I know what mine is.
• 5:34
  Eric: What is yours?
• 5:35
  Eric: The word hustle.
• 5:38
  Eric: The word hustle?
• 5:39
  Eric: Let me tell you about let me tell you about it.
• 5:41
  Matt: It brings you back to your hustle days.
• 5:43
  Eric: Uh every year, from the ages of six to eleven, I had the same thought.
• 5:52
  Eric: Maybe this year I'll enjoy playing baseball.
• 5:56
  Eric: Let me give it a try.
• 5:58
  Matt: This is gonna be hard for me to relate to you on because I've always enjoyed baseball.
• 6:02
  Eric: Yeah.
• 6:03
  Eric: I fucking hated playing baseball.
• 6:07
  Eric: And every year, my adult little child brain forgot this fact.
• 6:12
  Eric: It had been so long it felt like millennials.
• 6:14
  Eric: Like, perhaps not.
• 6:15
  Eric: Give it another give it a fair shake.
• 6:17
  Eric: Uh, and and it was always on the first day I immediately remembered why I fucking hate playing baseball.
• 6:24
  Eric: Is because if you wanted to move anywhere, you'd go from point A to point B.
• 6:31
  Eric: Mm-hmm.
• 6:34
  Eric: Every adult within visual range of you would just start saying, Come on now, hustle! Hustle, Eric!
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_02: Get over there, come on now, hustle, hustle, hustle!
• 6:43
  Eric: Matt, uh, I was a chubby, chubby, non-athletic little like little kid.
• 6:50
  Eric: I just wanted to read books and not go outside.
• 6:55
  Eric: Baseball represented the opposite of that, and uh got little, little, little, little, little, little soft me.
• 7:05
  Eric: Little five coming just just wheezing across the field and delta going, oh hustle, hustle now, come on now, hustle.
• 7:13
  Matt: I'm like, I'm like, I'm going as fast as I can.
• 7:16
  Matt: Now wait a minute.
• 7:18
  Matt: Okay, so I want to be clear.
• 7:19
  Matt: I've always loved baseball.
• 7:20
  Matt: I wasn't great at baseball when I played it.
• 7:24
  Matt: Okay.
• 7:24
  Matt: I was on, we had a team structure, and I was on the lowest team.
• 7:29
  Matt: I was on like the silver team.
• 7:30
  Eric: Nah, that was right outfield.
• 7:32
  Eric: You know where I fall.
• 7:34
  Matt: Okay, first of all, it's just called right field.
• 7:36
  Matt: It's not called right outfield.
• 7:39
  Matt: Come on, hustle, Eric.
• 7:46
  Eric: Uh-oh.
• 7:47
  Eric: I like that this started with you trying to like humanize yourself.
• 7:49
  Eric: Like, hey man, no, I wasn't like some baseball guy, but it is right field.
• 7:54
  Eric: Well, yeah, there's still a correct answer.
• 7:57
  Eric: But you know what I mean when I tell you I was right field.
• 8:00
  Matt: Yeah, I know what you mean.
• 8:02
  Eric: The ball wasn't coming my way unless they were left-handed, Matt.
• 8:05
  Matt: Yeah, no, I know what you mean.
• 8:06
  Matt: Uh, I did my time in the outfield.
• 8:09
  Matt: I finally ended up at second base for the longest tenure.
• 8:13
  Matt: There was a moment in time where they tried me at catcher, and uh that didn't go well for anyone.
• 8:20
  Matt: Uh the ump kept getting hit because I couldn't catch the ball.
• 8:28
  Matt: Well, I think starting out this with some uh emotional turmoil was great.
• 8:33
  Eric: Scarring.
• 8:34
  Matt: Yeah.
• 8:35
  Matt: God.
• 8:37
  Matt: Okay, let's cry real quick.
• 8:38
  Matt: Yep, and then we can get going.
• 9:07
  Matt: The tenth episode of You Didn't Ask For This.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_02: What up, baby?
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_02: What up, baby?
• 9:13
  Matt: My name's Matt Shea.
• 9:15
  Matt: My name's Eric Poach.
• 9:16
  Matt: This is You Didn't Ask for This.
• 9:18
  Matt: This is a podcast answering all your most pressing questions in this world.
• 9:22
  Matt: You know what the people and society, I guess those are the same thing, need to know.
• 9:28
  Matt: See, I I did a tagline, Eric.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_02: You it was good.
• 9:31
  Matt: I did it, and then I said, let's make a sub tagline.
• 9:35
  Matt: Why do I do this to our listeners and myself?
• 9:38
  Eric: Because you want to challenge them.
• 9:40
  Matt: You know what?
• 9:41
  Matt: That's right.
• 9:41
  Matt: You don't want to.
• 9:42
  Matt: I mean, it's 10th episode.
• 9:43
  Matt: We're in double digits, baby.
• 9:44
  Eric: Yeah.
• 9:45
  Eric: We gotta start challenging our listeners.
• 9:47
  Eric: Fucking fresh.
• 9:49
  Matt: Fresh.
• 9:50
  Matt: So I think Eric, I'm so excited to start talking about today's first question.
• 9:55
  Matt: Maybe we should we just get to it?
• 9:57
  Eric: Let's let's just let's just get right into it.
• 10:00
  Matt: Let's just get right into it.
• 10:01
  Matt: We do have some good questions for you, and we've got two countem two new segments for you in this episode.
• 10:09
  Matt: So get excited, folks.
• 10:11
  Matt: But to start us off, let's ponder what is the deadliest combination in clue, which is to say, we're talking about what is the worst possible trio of who with the what in the where, or however you like to list it.
• 10:32
  Matt: I feel like it's I feel like it's normally person in the room with the the item.
• 10:38
  Eric: Oh, yeah.
• 10:39
  Matt: Yeah, I I just fucked it up in the intro.
• 10:41
  Eric: Do you know what's wild to me is like I sure don't.
• 10:45
  Eric: They never establish motive.
• 10:47
  Matt: So, okay, so this is the first thing when in doing some preliminary research for this question.
• 10:54
  Matt: This is something that I think is interesting.
• 10:56
  Matt: So before we go down this the motive route.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 11:01
  Matt: Eric, let me ask you this.
• 11:02
  Matt: How do you think is what's the best way to tackle this?
• 11:04
  Matt: I think there are, for those of you not familiar with what we're talking about, I I let me just.
• 11:10
  Matt: If you haven't played Clue.
• 11:12
  Eric: If you've never played the probably starting board game, uh, you probably had like a pristine desk in elementary school that was organized just so, and you would get very upset if anyone touched anything in your desk.
• 11:29
  Eric: Your trophies, as you called them.
• 11:31
  Eric: You didn't have to play clue, you were already playing it.
• 11:34
  Matt: Oh, so yeah, sorry, I was referencing trophies as if I killed all those people.
• 11:39
  Matt: Yeah, exactly.
• 11:40
  Matt: I guess that didn't make it across.
• 11:44
  Matt: Anyway, Clue.
• 11:46
  Matt: Or, as it's known apparently everywhere else in the world, Cluedo.
• 11:50
  Eric: Yeah, wild.
• 11:51
  Matt: Don't get the Cluedo thing.
• 11:52
  Matt: I really don't.
• 11:53
  Matt: Uh, but Clue, it's a mortar murder mystery game where somebody by the name of Mr.
• 12:01
  Matt: Body has met their grisly end.
• 12:04
  Matt: And you need to solve the crime of who killed the Mr.
• 12:08
  Matt: Body, where did they kill them, and with what?
• 12:12
  Matt: Anyway, that's all I care to tell you about the the subjects of Clue.
• 12:17
  Matt: Also, uh led to one of the best comedy films of all time, the movie Clue.
• 12:26
  Eric: A movie that had no fucking right to be as phenomenal as it was.
• 12:32
  Matt: It had no right to be as great as it is.
• 12:36
  Matt: It is a flawless movie.
• 12:38
  Eric: Yeah.
• 12:38
  Eric: The board game clue could not exist, and nothing would be lost from that movie.
• 12:43
  Eric: Like, you know what I mean?
• 12:45
  Eric: Mm-hmm.
• 12:46
  Matt: But I do think we have to go off the board game.
• 12:49
  Matt: Oh, we do have to go off the board game.
• 12:51
  Matt: Have to go off the board game, and I think we have to go off of the OG board game or the classic edition as it's called now.
• 12:58
  Eric: Yeah, you were talking to me about this.
• 12:59
  Eric: They updated it, didn't they?
• 13:01
  Matt: They well, they've updated it throughout the years and they've added some side characters that pop up.
• 13:05
  Matt: And like around the time that the movie came out, they added the butler and the May, like they added the supplemental characters, the singing telegram.
• 13:13
  Matt: They added these people.
• 13:15
  Matt: But that though those are not the original crew.
• 13:18
  Matt: But yes, there's stuff.
• 13:20
  Matt: I was told by uh one of our faithful listeners, uh, A.
• 13:24
  Matt: Dilexa Lee, that Mrs.
• 13:28
  Matt: White is now Dr.
• 13:30
  Matt: Orchid.
• 13:31
  unknown: Yeah.
• 13:32
  Matt: Which, like, who sounds like a murderer.
• 13:35
  Matt: She sounds like a murderer, even more of a murderer.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_02: I can hear her voice in my head, like, ah, yes, it is I, Dr.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_02: Orchid.
• 13:42
  Matt: And listen, good for her going back, getting that PhD.
• 13:45
  Matt: Well done, but like, I think we were all good with just why couldn't it be Dr.
• 13:49
  Matt: White?
• 13:50
  Matt: We had to update her name to you.
• 13:51
  Matt: Yeah.
• 13:52
  Eric: Yeah, why couldn't it be just Dr.
• 13:54
  Eric: White?
• 13:54
  Matt: I'd say keep it the way it was.
• 13:58
  Matt: Now, so should we just should we just go through the baseline of uh items and everything?
• 14:05
  Eric: Yeah, well, here's what we can do.
• 14:06
  Eric: We can just go we we can go, we'll first establish the deadliest character, then we'll establish the deadliest weapon that character could use, and then the deadliest room that they could use it in.
• 14:17
  Matt: I think that's a great way of doing it.
• 14:19
  Matt: Uh, do you think characters should be first, or does that does it what does everything hinge on?
• 14:23
  Matt: Do you think it hinges on the person?
• 14:26
  Matt: Because in the r I would say in the right hands, any of these weapons could be the most deadly.
• 14:31
  Matt: So I think you're right.
• 14:32
  Matt: I think you do gotta start with the person.
• 14:33
  Eric: Yeah, let's start with the person, and the rest is set dressing.
• 14:37
  Matt: Okay, so let's just run through what all of the various things are.
• 14:41
  Matt: Yep.
• 14:42
  Matt: Does that sound like a plan?
• 14:43
  Matt: Yeah.
• 14:43
  Matt: So these characters we've been talking about.
• 14:45
  Matt: There's Miss Scarlet.
• 14:48
  Matt: She's represented by Red.
• 14:49
  Matt: I don't know why we needed to make that clear.
• 14:52
  Matt: But Mrs.
• 14:53
  Matt: Red, Miss Scarlet.
• 14:54
  Matt: Now there's Mr.
• 14:55
  Matt: Green.
• 14:56
  Matt: Now I have learned that in the UK version, the original version of Clue, Cluedo, it's Reverend Green when this game first came out.
• 15:06
  Matt: But they didn't want to do that because they didn't think the American audience would be uh receptive of a Reverend being a murderer.
• 15:14
  Matt: So Mr.
• 15:15
  Matt: Green, it is Colonel Mustard, Professor Plum, Mrs.
• 15:19
  Matt: Peacock, and Mrs.
• 15:22
  Matt: White Dr.
• 15:24
  Matt: Orchid.
• 15:24
  Eric: Yeah.
• 15:25
  Eric: Mrs.
• 15:25
  Eric: White, knee Orchid.
• 15:28
  Matt: So that brings us to the weapons.
• 15:30
  Matt: Eric, you want to run down those weapons first?
• 15:32
  Eric: Oh, yeah, Matt, we got a candlestick.
• 15:34
  Matt: Boom.
• 15:35
  Eric: We got a dagger.
• 15:36
  Eric: We have a lead pipe.
• 15:39
  Eric: We have a revolver.
• 15:41
  Eric: Rope is the next item.
• 15:43
  Eric: And then uh we have a wrench.
• 15:45
  Eric: Is depicted.
• 15:46
  Eric: Oh, ooh, I didn't know that.
• 15:48
  Eric: Okay, so in American editions, it was a monkey wrench.
• 15:51
  Eric: In the traditional UK version, it was an open-ended spanner.
• 15:55
  Matt: Oh.
• 15:57
  Matt: And finally, we have the layout of the uh clue mansion, the body mansion itself.
• 16:03
  Matt: Obviously, uh, you enter, you got the hall standing right in front of you.
• 16:07
  Matt: And let's just, I'm gonna go around clockwise.
• 16:10
  Matt: So to your left, you got the lounge, above that, the dining room, then the kitchen.
• 16:14
  Matt: Make a right, you're in the ballroom, keep going.
• 16:16
  Matt: Now you're in the conservatory, now you get to the fun rooms.
• 16:19
  Matt: Take a right, you're in the billiard room, the library, the study, and you're back to the hall.
• 16:24
  Matt: And in the center of all that is the stairway to the cellar where Mr.
• 16:29
  Matt: Body's body is kept.
• 16:31
  unknown: Dun dun dun dun.
• 16:32
  Matt: So, person first.
• 16:34
  Matt: That's what we're going with, right?
• 16:35
  Matt: Yep, deadliest person.
• 16:37
  Matt: So I have learned that uh because I've never played this way.
• 16:41
  Matt: Miss Scarlet goes first.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_02: Huh.
• 16:44
  Matt: Did you know that?
• 16:45
  Matt: I didn't know that.
• 16:47
  Matt: So on so sources for this, of course, by the way, uh, we're looking at the uh Cluedo Wikipedia page as well as the Clue Fandom Wiki.
• 16:56
  Matt: Uh Love Fandom.
• 16:57
  Matt: From the Clue universe.
• 16:58
  Matt: For the Clueverse.
• 17:00
  Matt: So, uh, and then so there are additional suspects.
• 17:03
  Matt: We're not going to talk about any of those.
• 17:04
  Matt: Um, we're talking about these original crew.
• 17:07
  Matt: So everybody, according to the Clue Fandom, everybody has an order.
• 17:12
  Matt: So this must be the original order.
• 17:15
  Matt: Meaning it was Miss Scarlet goes first, uh, followed by Colonel Mustard, and then Mrs.
• 17:23
  Matt: White, uh, re Reverend Mr.
• 17:26
  Matt: Green, Mrs.
• 17:27
  Matt: Peacock, and Professor Plum goes last.
• 17:32
  Matt: But in all editions, it seems to say that Miss Scarlet goes first, and then you go around clockwise.
• 17:39
  Matt: I think we've always just rolled for who goes first in my house.
• 17:43
  Eric: Yeah.
• 17:44
  Eric: So that does beg the question.
• 17:45
  Eric: And I we're not discussing so let's let's let's work from the assumption that every single one of these people is a murderer.
• 17:53
  unknown: Okay.
• 17:53
  Matt: Which or at least has murderous intent.
• 17:55
  Eric: The question we're answering isn't who is who is most likely to be a murderer, it is which of these people is the most murderous.
• 18:04
  Eric: Like, you know what I mean?
• 18:05
  Eric: Who's the deadliest?
• 18:06
  Matt: Yes, yes.
• 18:07
  Matt: I that is absolutely the reason.
• 18:10
  Matt: And in if you go off the film, uh, I suppose, with the exception of Mr.
• 18:15
  Matt: Green in the film, perhaps, spoiler alert, I guess, everybody has murderous intent in the film.
• 18:23
  Matt: And they have multiple endings to go along with uh these outcomes.
• 18:28
  Matt: By the way, if you were key for those of you doing the math at home, that is six characters, six murder weapons, nine rooms, three hundred and twenty-four possible outcomes.
• 18:41
  Matt: So we want to boil that down.
• 18:45
  Matt: And I agree, Eric.
• 18:46
  Matt: I think we're talking about who is the best of these murderers.
• 18:50
  Matt: Because everybody's had everybody be the killer at some point.
• 18:54
  Matt: Everyone's played enough games of Clue in their life.
• 18:56
  Matt: Yeah.
• 18:57
  Matt: That every one of these has been in the envelope.
• 19:00
  Eric: We've we've all been in the envelope.
• 19:02
  Matt: We've all been in the envelope.
• 19:03
  Eric: We've all been in the envelope.
• 19:05
  Matt: So, Miss Scarlet, she so so they don't have a ton of.
• 19:09
  Matt: I was expecting that maybe the original Clue handbook.
• 19:13
  Matt: Some lore.
• 19:14
  Matt: Would have some lore.
• 19:15
  Matt: Some lore.
• 19:16
  Matt: But they really do not.
• 19:17
  Eric: We can really just go off of we we kind of just have to go off their name and their title.
• 19:21
  Matt: And their depiction on the in the artwork.
• 19:24
  Eric: Yes.
• 19:25
  Eric: Yeah.
• 19:25
  Matt: So Miss Scarlet always is depicted as a a femme fatal.
• 19:31
  Matt: Uh and this so to read from the fandom, she's portrayed as young, cunning, and highly attractive.
• 19:37
  Matt: And she goes first.
• 19:39
  Matt: She goes first.
• 19:40
  Matt: She takes the fact that even when they dropped the order of the characters, the fact that Miss Scarlet apparently, according to the rules, always goes first.
• 19:50
  Matt: I imagine that's something she says.
• 19:52
  Eric: Oh ah, ah, and you could you know in the American UK vers the American version, she's like a, you know, a s southern bell.
• 19:59
  Matt: Oh, I don't know about that.
• 20:01
  Matt: You cast you casting Scarlet as a Southern Bell?
• 20:04
  Matt: Her name's Miss Scarlett.
• 20:06
  Matt: Okay, I mean, sure.
• 20:09
  Matt: Fine, I guess.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_02: I would never murder someone.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_02: Let me just start investigating.
• 20:17
  Matt: I don't know.
• 20:17
  Matt: I feel like I get more of like a Jessica Rabbit feel.
• 20:21
  Matt: Oh, yeah.
• 20:22
  Matt: With Miss Scarlet.
• 20:23
  Matt: Yeah.
• 20:23
  Matt: Okay, so anyway.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_02: She makes me laugh.
• 20:26
  Matt: We should probably stop fantasizing about Miss Scarlett.
• 20:32
  Matt: And and and get to her qualifications.
• 20:36
  Eric: Yep.
• 20:36
  Eric: Uh well, we know she's unmarried.
• 20:39
  Eric: Uh true.
• 20:40
  Eric: A debutante, you could say.
• 20:41
  Eric: Uh, we know she goes first, she takes the initiative.
• 20:44
  Matt: And that gives her a distinct advantage by going first.
• 20:48
  unknown: Yeah.
• 20:48
  Matt: She's quick.
• 20:49
  Matt: She's quick.
• 20:50
  Matt: That's what it tells us.
• 20:51
  Matt: She's she gets in before anybody even realizes they're playing the game.
• 20:55
  Matt: They're moving.
• 20:56
  Matt: Now, of course, it should be it.
• 20:58
  Matt: We should mention that when the game begins, the crime has already been committed.
• 21:04
  Matt: Oh, yeah, we've got it.
• 21:05
  Matt: So we are only so really the rules of playing the game don't matter to us at all.
• 21:10
  Matt: Nope.
• 21:11
  Matt: So Miss But but I still maintain that Miss Scarlett's ability and requirement to go first.
• 21:18
  Matt: Yeah.
• 21:18
  Matt: Means she has some sort of uh some sort of ability, some sort of social or perhaps superhuman ability to always be uh proactive and yeah, she's a step ahead.
• 21:30
  Matt: I'm trying to say she's a step ahead.
• 21:31
  Matt: Okay.
• 21:32
  Matt: Now so so that's that's Scarlet.
• 21:34
  Matt: Now, Mr.
• 21:35
  Matt: Green.
• 21:36
  Eric: Mr.
• 21:36
  Matt: Green, so especially with the now that I know that he's originally Reverend Green, uh I do think that factors into my uh my decision.
• 21:46
  Eric: It does.
• 21:47
  Eric: He's got the unassuming angle.
• 21:50
  Eric: He's got the oh, I'm just a harmless, you know, don't mind me.
• 21:55
  Eric: I'm just like that is an advantage in situations like this.
• 22:00
  Eric: You're not gonna like you default to having not a lot of suspicion thrown your way when you're a reverend.
• 22:07
  Matt: Right.
• 22:07
  Matt: And so just uh so I want to read his uh uh his fandom as well.
• 22:12
  Matt: Oh, please.
• 22:13
  Matt: Originally patented as the Reverend Mr.
• 22:16
  Matt: Green in Britain, Reverend Green or Mr.
• 22:18
  Matt: Green is a hypocritical Angelican priest who weakens when it comes to the sixth commandment, murder.
• 22:27
  Eric: Oh, well, that I like, oh yeah, Reverend, unassuming you're like over here, he's like, yeah, he was one step short of launching a crusade.
• 22:39
  Matt: Well, you see, I believe in loving everyone except when they need to die.
• 22:45
  Matt: Uh, okay, so what I so I mean that is from an official-ish source, the fame.
• 22:51
  Matt: I it's got a little, little small number next to it.
• 22:54
  Matt: So he, I feel, I do feel like he sort of does put it on this sort of uh, you know, charming, you know, he's he's very much the face, right?
• 23:07
  Matt: He's got a face that he shows the world.
• 23:10
  Matt: I'm sure they they all do, I guess.
• 23:12
  Matt: But he is particularly sinister, I feel like.
• 23:15
  Matt: So who do we have next?
• 23:17
  Matt: Professor Plum.
• 23:18
  Matt: Professor Plum, characterized as often being depicted as either a young or middle-aged fellow with a bow tie and glasses, he's widely seen as the intellectual he rolls last originally.
• 23:31
  Eric: Ah, which also speaks volumes.
• 23:35
  Eric: He waits.
• 23:36
  Eric: He waits.
• 23:37
  Eric: He waits to see what everyone else is doing, just so he can work with the best information possible.
• 23:42
  Matt: Yeah, he lies in wait for the other players to make to make their you know decisions, and then he gets to come in, and he now has all the information.
• 23:54
  unknown: Mm-hmm.
• 23:55
  Matt: So, Professor Plum, intellectual, nerdy.
• 23:59
  Matt: In a lot of depictions, he's he's depicted very like, you know, well, like the default college professor, I feel like.
• 24:07
  Matt: You know what I mean?
• 24:08
  Eric: Little rumpled.
• 24:10
  Matt: Uh oh, and then we have, of course, Colonel Mustard.
• 24:14
  Eric: So I feel like he's the biggest red.
• 24:16
  Eric: I feel like a lot of people default to like Colonel Mustard being, you know.
• 24:20
  Matt: The deadliest?
• 24:22
  Eric: The deadliest by mere virtue of being like in the military.
• 24:26
  Matt: So his uh what it says for him on the Phantom is is the stock character of a great white hunter and colonial imperialist.
• 24:35
  Matt: He is he is usually a military man, both dignified, dapper, and dangerous.
• 24:40
  Matt: Do you like that it said both and then listed three things?
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_02: Huh.
• 24:45
  Matt: Originally patented as Colonel Yellow.
• 24:47
  Matt: His name was changed prior to the first edition of the game.
• 24:50
  Matt: He rolled second.
• 24:51
  Eric: See, I feel like I feel that sounds like Colonel Mustard wrote his own description.
• 24:56
  Eric: Like, like I get the vibe that he's like a like he's nothing.
• 25:02
  Eric: Like he has nothing, but he'll he's that guy who's always sitting in the corner talking about the wall.
• 25:07
  Matt: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 25:09
  Matt: But meanwhile, maybe he didn't even serve, you know.
• 25:12
  Matt: Maybe he got out of it because he had bone spurs.
• 25:15
  Eric: Exactly.
• 25:15
  Eric: I feel like he's the biggest red herring.
• 25:18
  Eric: He's nothing.
• 25:18
  Eric: He's worthless.
• 25:19
  Matt: Oh wow, you were coming out hard against Colonel Mustard.
• 25:22
  Eric: Yeah.
• 25:22
  Matt: See, when you let me ask you this.
• 25:24
  Matt: When you play Clue, do you like to take on the uh the personality?
• 25:28
  Matt: Yes.
• 25:29
  Matt: Okay, so do I?
• 25:29
  Matt: So I like I I almost always play as Professor Plum, but when I play as Colonel Mustard, I always put on some sort of like I turn into the uh the hunter in the movie Jumanji, the original.
• 25:42
  Matt: His dad.
• 25:44
  Matt: That's who I become.
• 25:45
  Matt: Absolutely.
• 25:45
  Matt: Van Pelt.
• 25:47
  Matt: Van Pelt.
• 25:48
  Matt: Which is so good.
• 25:50
  Matt: What a name.
• 25:52
  Eric: But yeah, he speaks pretty much in like bold all caps.
• 25:57
  Matt: Yes.
• 25:59
  Matt: Like I feel like most things that come out of his mouth start with never in all my years of service.
• 26:05
  Matt: Alright, so then we got Mrs.
• 26:06
  Matt: Peacock.
• 26:07
  Matt: She's the stock character of a grand dame.
• 26:10
  Matt: An elderly yet still attractive woman who maintains her dignity.
• 26:14
  Matt: Did they need to include that?
• 26:16
  Matt: Wait, what would that what did they say?
• 26:18
  Matt: They said an elderly yet still attractive woman who doesn't maintains her dignity in almost all cases in most versions.
• 26:26
  Matt: Why did that need to be included?
• 26:28
  Matt: Yeah, Colonel Mustard's old as shit.
• 26:31
  Eric: They didn't have to be like, oh yeah, here's Colonel Mustard.
• 26:33
  Eric: He's still sexy despite his age.
• 26:36
  Matt: No one said anything about his scaly ass.
• 26:38
  Eric: Yeah.
• 26:39
  Matt: Gross ass.
• 26:40
  Matt: Fucking Parker Brothers.
• 26:41
  Matt: Fucking fuck.
• 26:42
  Matt: And then finally, Mrs.
• 26:43
  Matt: White slash apparently now Dr.
• 26:46
  Matt: Orchid.
• 26:47
  Matt: So she's a doctor.
• 26:48
  Matt: We're just gonna work with well, yes, but we said we're talking about the original, so we're talking about before her uh her further studies commenced.
• 26:56
  Eric: Oh, right, right, right, right.
• 26:57
  Eric: Before she went back.
• 26:58
  Matt: So, but what we what we know is she would later uh have the you know intellectual capacity to become a doctor.
• 27:08
  Matt: Yeah.
• 27:08
  Matt: So she's very smart.
• 27:10
  Matt: And I believe in most in the classic version, uh anyway, I feel as though sh she's normally depicted, she's not this in the movie, but I feel like isn't she normally depicted as the maid?
• 27:24
  Matt: Yeah.
• 27:25
  Matt: So if she is all of these, if she's the if if we if she's normally depicted as the maid, but she is in fact this highly capable killer underneath, perhaps she's posing as the maid.
• 27:40
  Matt: Ooh, yeah, perhaps she is she is the most blatant, like she is in that house undercover.
• 27:46
  Eric: Ooh, yep, yep, yep, yep.
• 27:48
  Matt: Perhaps she came to make a hit.
• 27:50
  Eric: Going in fucking deep.
• 27:51
  Eric: I love that.
• 27:52
  Matt: Yeah.
• 27:52
  Matt: She agent 47 her way into this house and is now the maid.
• 27:56
  Eric: Not to mention the fact she's played by Madeline Kahn in the movie.
• 27:59
  Eric: I know, I know.
• 28:01
  Matt: I know, but like I know we're not trying to mix the Caluniverse the Of course, but it does tell us that she does have the capacity to withstand flames of the side of it.
• 28:14
  Eric: So I think we know our answer.
• 28:16
  Eric: I think it's Mrs.
• 28:17
  Eric: White.
• 28:18
  Eric: Yeah, it's Mrs.
• 28:18
  Eric: White.
• 28:19
  Matt: Yeah, I I agree.
• 28:20
  Matt: It's Dr.
• 28:21
  Matt: It's the newly minted Dr.
• 28:23
  Matt: Orchid, Mrs.
• 28:24
  Matt: White all the way.
• 28:25
  Matt: So Mrs.
• 28:26
  Matt: White, done dirty by her character description, is in fact our our under the radar, undercover killer.
• 28:35
  Matt: She's the best.
• 28:36
  Matt: Uh, I like this answer.
• 28:37
  Matt: So now what would now of the weapons, what is the best in her hands?
• 28:42
  Matt: The candlestick, the dagger, the lead pipe, the rope, the revolver, or the wrench?
• 28:45
  Matt: So go on, no, go ahead, please.
• 28:47
  Eric: Oh no, I was just gonna say people are gonna like automatically assume a revolver would be the best weapon, but like Juan chooses the wizard, you know what I mean?
• 28:54
  Eric: She yes.
• 28:55
  Eric: There is a weapon that is best for her.
• 28:58
  Matt: Now, on my I happen to have the mental picture of my personal cover of clue on the board.
• 29:05
  Matt: You know, where they're all they're all hand-hand, you know, they're all holding weapons.
• 29:08
  Matt: Yes.
• 29:09
  Matt: Um, I think I don't know.
• 29:11
  Matt: I don't know if this is enough evidence to say she's normally depicted this way, but I know she is holding the rope on my edition.
• 29:21
  Matt: I agree that the the the revolver is the easy choice.
• 29:25
  Eric: Yeah, I I feel like she doesn't do that's way too loud.
• 29:28
  Matt: Like that's too loud for her.
• 29:30
  Eric: It's too loud.
• 29:31
  Matt: We've already disc we've already decided she's sneaky and undercover.
• 29:34
  Eric: Yes, she is all about subtlety and like silence.
• 29:39
  Matt: Which is why it lends itself to the rope.
• 29:42
  Matt: Which lends itself to the rope.
• 29:43
  Eric: If you're like using it like a garot, you're like choking it up, ah.
• 29:46
  Matt: Yeah, if she's using it as a garot, which I think is probably her, but there's various ways.
• 29:52
  Matt: If she wants to uh, you know, it's silent, uh, she can then it makes for easy transport of the body to the basement.
• 30:00
  Matt: Because after all, the basement it ends up in the basement, and I think the understanding has always been they put it in the basement, like after the body was found, and then they conducted these characters conducted their investigation, as opposed to calling the police.
• 30:14
  Matt: But the uh the the they put them in the basement, but uh I also sort of like the the world where the killer moved the body to the basement and now they're trying to figure out what room it actually happened in.
• 30:28
  Matt: Uh so thinking about lead pipes, the candlestick, the dagger, the revolver, the wrench, these all have one big thing in common, the bloody.
• 30:39
  Matt: And the wrench, especially wrench revolver, maybe you could get away with the dagger, but the candlestick, the lead pipe, and the wrench would all have a lot of splatter.
• 30:51
  Eric: And even the dagger, like you stab someone, like say you stab someone to the gut, they're gonna scream.
• 30:56
  Eric: It's not like it's not like a movie where they just die instantly.
• 31:00
  Matt: Yeah, I mean, unless you get a good throat slit in each time, I think, you know what, I'm already convinced.
• 31:06
  Matt: It's I think it's gotta be the rope.
• 31:07
  Matt: It's gotta be the rope.
• 31:08
  Matt: Like she she's just like like a spider in the shadows.
• 31:11
  Eric: Like just a little bit.
• 31:11
  Matt: Yes, in her hands, in her hand, and I do like your your assumption that she'd come out of the shadows, but I also think that she is uh cunning enough to be able to be standing right in front of you with this rope and you not realize what's going on until it's too late.
• 31:30
  Matt: Now, let's talk about these rooms.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_04: Yep.
• 31:32
  Matt: Once again, there's the hall, the lounge, the dining room, the kitchen, the ballroom, the conservatory, the billiard room, the library, and the study.
• 31:40
  Matt: But of importance, the corner rooms have secret passages.
• 31:46
  Matt: The study can get to the kitchen, and the lounge can get to the conservatory.
• 31:52
  Eric: And each character has their own specific starting point.
• 31:56
  Matt: Each character has her their own specific starting point.
• 32:00
  Matt: Mrs.
• 32:00
  Matt: White's is at the top of the board between the kitchen and the ballroom.
• 32:05
  Matt: Now, since in the classic edition, because I just confirmed it, in the classic edition, she is depicted as a maid.
• 32:16
  Matt: That's probably why they have her starting next to the kitchen.
• 32:20
  Matt: Right?
• 32:21
  Matt: Yeah.
• 32:23
  Eric: And you know she knows about the secret passages.
• 32:26
  Eric: She works in the house.
• 32:27
  Matt: She knows this house inside and out.
• 32:29
  Matt: Even if we go with the the the uh the theory that she's she's snuck in under the auspicies that she is uh uh you know, she's not really on the employee.
• 32:42
  Matt: Perhaps she killed the real maid just to get to Mr.
• 32:45
  Matt: Body.
• 32:46
  Matt: Oh yeah.
• 32:47
  Matt: I uh here's what I would assume.
• 32:50
  Matt: I like your I like your angle of like, oh, so and so, can you help me in the doo-doo doo?
• 32:54
  Matt: But then she uses the advantage of the secret passage to make a quick, clean getaway.
• 33:03
  Matt: So she she is quickly in another location.
• 33:07
  Matt: She's away from the body.
• 33:09
  Matt: Which I mean, yeah, sure.
• 33:11
  Matt: If you go off starting location, you could easily say she does the deed in the study and ends up in the kitchen.
• 33:17
  Eric: I don't think it's that simple.
• 33:18
  Matt: Yeah, I don't think it's that simple.
• 33:19
  Eric: There are two, there, there are two rooms with direct like directly adjacent to the the fucking study.
• 33:27
  Eric: And the study would be Mr.
• 33:28
  Eric: Body's study, so all she really needs to do is like I mean they're all I think they're all Mr.
• 33:34
  Matt: Body's rooms.
• 33:35
  Eric: But you know what I mean.
• 33:36
  Eric: Like, he is most likely to be occupying that room or the lounge.
• 33:41
  Eric: Or the lounge.
• 33:42
  Matt: Yeah, the study, the study is a a good final destination for him, perhaps.
• 33:47
  Eric: What what room makes the most what which of these rooms has the most context for rope between the library, the study, and the hall?
• 33:54
  Matt: I feel like it could easily be disguised as rope that goes around uh like curtains or uh like decorative rope.
• 34:01
  Matt: Like a decorative rope.
• 34:03
  Matt: Uh I feel also that it it's easily stored somewhere.
• 34:06
  Matt: You know, lounge you could stuff it underneath the uh uh the the sofas or something, but she could also take it with her and dispose of it elsewhere.
• 34:16
  Matt: But if we go with the idea that it's already there, it could easily be the study.
• 34:22
  Matt: It could be around, you know.
• 34:24
  Matt: I feel like rope, you could you could disguise a rope a lot of ways in a study.
• 34:28
  Matt: I feel like the places it stands out are uh the conservatory, the ballroom, uh and the dining room.
• 34:38
  Eric: The ball the ballroom, I could I could see maybe like uh hey, gotta hang a chandelier or something, but that's a bit of a stretch.
• 34:45
  Eric: Dining room definitely stands out.
• 34:47
  Eric: Kitchen, it stands out.
• 34:49
  Matt: Kitchen, it stands out.
• 34:50
  Matt: Library, lounge, study.
• 34:53
  Matt: Hall.
• 34:54
  Matt: I think the thing with the hall, I don't think it's the deadliest option over at all, really, because it's too open, it's too exposed.
• 35:03
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 35:05
  Eric: I I I'm my I'm leaning towards the library or the study.
• 35:10
  Matt: I'm leaning towards it happening in the study, and then her using the secret passage to escape to the kitchen, which is by her starting location.
• 35:19
  Matt: However, the conservatory traditionally has some sort of like outdoor element, does it not?
• 35:26
  Matt: Like a greenhouse feel to it.
• 35:28
  Matt: Oh yeah.
• 35:30
  Matt: So if she kills him in the lounge and uses the secret passage to get to the conservatory.
• 35:36
  Eric: That's just a hop, skip, and a jump to the kitchen.
• 35:38
  Matt: It's a hop, skip to the jump in the kitchen, sure.
• 35:41
  Matt: But it's also just a hop out the door.
• 35:45
  Matt: She's onto the grounds and out of there.
• 35:47
  Matt: Yeah, if she m thought she could make a quick escape.
• 35:51
  Eric: Yeah.
• 35:52
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 35:53
  Matt: I and conservatory, I feel like you could easily stuff gardening tools, all yeah.
• 36:00
  Eric: You could store that rope anywhere.
• 36:03
  Eric: Yeah, that that that's I I feel like that's yeah, that's that's it's easy to bury out in the plants, you know.
• 36:11
  Matt: Yeah, I I buy that.
• 36:13
  Matt: So I think what we're land what I'm hearing a circle on is that it was Mrs.
• 36:20
  Matt: White in the lounge with the rope.
• 36:25
  Matt: And then she uses she uses it, she uses the hidden passage to escape.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 36:31
  Matt: Well, there you have it.
• 36:32
  Matt: Mrs.
• 36:33
  Matt: White in the lounge with the rope is your deadliest clue combination.
• 36:40
  Eric: You're welcome.
• 36:40
  Matt: You're welcome.
• 36:42
  Matt: Put it in the books, and remember, the next time you play clue, if that's in the envelope, you're in some deep shit.
• 36:49
  Eric: Yeah, she's gonna get you.
• 36:50
  Matt: She gon' get you.
• 36:51
  Matt: Okay, so now Eric, we promised two new segments.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_04: Yep.
• 36:56
  Matt: Uh here comes the first one.
• 36:58
  Matt: So we've of course we need your questions.
• 37:01
  Matt: We love all your questions, but we can't give them all the full treatment, right?
• 37:05
  Eric: Yeah, we get so many beautiful questions.
• 37:08
  Matt: We can't get to them all.
• 37:09
  Matt: So we devised a new segment to get to five questions really quickly, and I mean really quickly.
• 37:16
  Matt: Welcome to Fast Five.
• 37:20
  Matt: So, here's what we're gonna do in Fast Five.
• 37:23
  Matt: We are going to spend five minutes answering five questions.
• 37:27
  Matt: We get one question, one minute to come to the a definitive conclusion.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_04: Yep.
• 37:32
  Matt: So uh if you have things that you think lend themselves to this, by all means let us know that it's a fast five question.
• 37:40
  Matt: Otherwise, uh, Eric, should we start the timers?
• 37:44
  Eric: Start the timer, Matt.
• 37:45
  Matt: You want me to hear, you want me to keep a timer?
• 37:47
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 37:48
  Eric: And just scream when it gets to a minute.
• 37:51
  Matt: Uh okay.
• 37:51
  Matt: So I'll well, I'll keep you posted on the time.
• 37:54
  Eric: Okay.
• 37:54
  Matt: So gear up.
• 37:55
  Matt: You you need to warm up or anything?
• 37:56
  Eric: No, yeah, I'm I'm good.
• 37:57
  Eric: I'm good.
• 37:58
  Eric: I'm ready.
• 37:58
  Eric: I'm limber.
• 37:59
  Matt: Okay.
• 38:01
  Matt: I'm gonna this can't be the case for all of them, but for the first one, I'm gonna read the question and then I'm gonna start the timer.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 38:07
  Matt: So the first one, we have we have a chance to stay a little bit ahead of the game on the first one.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 38:12
  Matt: Alex Kafarakis writes When you turn up any volume, do you round up or go to every fifth, or do you leave it as is?
• 38:23
  Matt: We have begun.
• 38:24
  Matt: I would say that uh I like an even number, but I also like a five.
• 38:28
  Eric: I like asymmetry, so I'll actually go up to I'll be at a five or a zero, but then I'll crank it up by one.
• 38:35
  Matt: Um I will say this.
• 38:36
  Matt: My wife is very like bothered by being on a non-even number.
• 38:43
  Eric: Oh yeah, I will I'll go to like a 28 or a 32.
• 38:46
  Eric: Like I won't be.
• 38:47
  Matt: You're at a 37.
• 38:48
  Matt: Are you bothered by that?
• 38:49
  Eric: I'm bothered.
• 38:50
  Eric: I'm bothered.
• 38:51
  Matt: See, I do like a five, ten, fifteen though.
• 38:54
  Matt: Ooh.
• 38:55
  Matt: 30 seconds.
• 38:57
  Eric: Yeah, I uh arbitrary odd numbers bothers the shit out of me.
• 39:03
  Eric: Any even number is fine.
• 39:05
  Eric: Any five number or zero number is fine.
• 39:08
  Matt: Yeah, I feel like fives are honorary even numbers.
• 39:10
  Matt: Exactly.
• 39:11
  Matt: Exactly.
• 39:12
  Matt: 10 seconds, what do we say?
• 39:15
  Matt: Uh, even zeros, fives.
• 39:17
  Matt: Evens, zeros, fives.
• 39:19
  Matt: There you go.
• 39:20
  Matt: And right now we are coming up on one minute.
• 39:22
  Matt: Wings, bone in or bone less from simply Lindsay.
• 39:26
  Matt: Bone in, baby.
• 39:27
  Matt: I gotta have my bone-in wings.
• 39:29
  Matt: Are boneless wings even technically wings?
• 39:32
  Matt: They're fucking nuggets.
• 39:33
  Matt: Yeah, aren't they just nuggets?
• 39:34
  Matt: They're tenders at best.
• 39:36
  Eric: Yeah.
• 39:36
  Matt: They're tenders at best.
• 39:38
  Matt: I agree.
• 39:39
  Matt: Uh and you don't really get the experience, I feel like, of of having wings when there is no debris, when there's no crime scene after the fact.
• 39:46
  Eric: Exactly.
• 39:47
  Eric: Like, just pick and I I fucking pick the flats, I pick those suckers dry.
• 39:52
  Eric: Like I'm ripping one bone out, eating all the meat off.
• 39:55
  Eric: Oh, yeah.
• 39:55
  Matt: I feel like you're already my dad from my childhood who spent plenty of time going, oh, there's plenty of meat on there when there's nothing.
• 40:02
  Matt: I could I I could never eat enough of the wing for him to not go, oh, are you leaving all that meat on there?
• 40:08
  Matt: And he's like gnawing on cartilage.
• 40:10
  Matt: Yeah, exactly.
• 40:10
  Matt: Yeah, there's plenty of good meat.
• 40:13
  Matt: Uh so with 10 seconds left, bone in.
• 40:15
  Matt: Bone in.
• 40:16
  Matt: We are we're ahead of the game.
• 40:17
  Matt: Sarah Feldman, good friend of the pod, asks, How many days in a row can you wear the same PJs before you have to wash them?
• 40:24
  Eric: If it's PJs and it's during quarantine, wear them till you can smell yourself.
• 40:28
  Matt: You know, I I I agree.
• 40:30
  Matt: I would say uh a single pair, you get one week easy.
• 40:34
  Matt: That's just on the board.
• 40:35
  Matt: That yeah.
• 40:36
  Matt: Seven days is just put them up.
• 40:38
  unknown: Yeah.
• 40:38
  Matt: Anything under that, something happened to them.
• 40:40
  Eric: Yeah, exactly.
• 40:41
  Eric: Like I got some pasta sauce on them.
• 40:44
  Eric: I spilled something on them.
• 40:45
  Eric: Yeah.
• 40:45
  Eric: Yeah.
• 40:46
  Eric: Something, you know, or I got like sometimes when we record the show, I get like excited, nervous sweats from recording.
• 40:52
  Eric: So I sweat them a whole bunch.
• 40:53
  Eric: Then I have to, yeah.
• 40:54
  Matt: Yeah, I mean, you gotta you gotta judge them for yourself.
• 40:57
  Matt: But I say I say they're probably good.
• 41:01
  Matt: Ooh, this could be controversial.
• 41:03
  Matt: I'd say when you hit 14 days, you gotta change it.
• 41:06
  Matt: Oh, you gotta.
• 41:07
  Matt: You gotta then like respect yourself.
• 41:09
  Matt: You're gonna get bed sores.
• 41:10
  Eric: Yeah, yeah.
• 41:12
  Matt: All right.
• 41:12
  Matt: Once again, we got 10 extra seconds, but there you go.
• 41:14
  Matt: So what are we saying?
• 41:15
  Eric: Uh 14 when you have to.
• 41:17
  Eric: But yeah, but ideally, wash them after a week, but you can push it to two weeks, but after two weeks, you have to.
• 41:23
  Matt: That's the minute right there.
• 41:24
  Matt: All right.
• 41:25
  Matt: All right.
• 41:26
  Matt: Uh a.lexalee says, Does butter belong in the fridge or on the counter?
• 41:30
  Eric: Fucking counter, baby.
• 41:31
  Eric: I need my butter soft.
• 41:32
  Matt: What are you talking about?
• 41:33
  Eric: I need I'm gonna get you a butterbell.
• 41:35
  Eric: I'm gonna get you a butterbell.
• 41:37
  Eric: No, because if I get you a butterbell, I know you're honor bound to use it.
• 41:41
  Eric: You will use it at least once.
• 41:43
  Matt: I'll try it so I can talk to you about how shitty it is.
• 41:46
  Matt: Like, no, no, no, no.
• 41:47
  Matt: I know this is a trend right now.
• 41:48
  Matt: I know everybody is all about it.
• 41:50
  Matt: We've been doing it for centuries.
• 41:53
  Matt: There was a trend for a hot second where people were putting butter in coffee, okay?
• 41:56
  Matt: We all remember You're still doing that.
• 41:57
  Eric: I want to try that.
• 41:58
  Matt: It's you know what?
• 41:59
  Matt: It is effective.
• 42:00
  Matt: Uh, it does, it does mimic it.
• 42:02
  Matt: I did try it, just to try it.
• 42:03
  Matt: But it's what if it sits there for any amount of time, it's gross.
• 42:06
  Eric: Oh, well, yeah, duh.
• 42:06
  Eric: But 15 seconds.
• 42:09
  Eric: I put my butter on the counter.
• 42:10
  Eric: As long as you keep that shit airtight, it's fine.
• 42:13
  Eric: It is fine.
• 42:17
  Matt: Five seconds.
• 42:18
  Matt: I'm gonna get you a butterbell.
• 42:20
  Matt: Fine, I'll yield.
• 42:21
  Matt: But I don't like it.
• 42:23
  Matt: Uh, and finally, I don't think we need the minute on this one.
• 42:27
  Matt: How should the toilet paper be hung from Maureen underscore Yoder on Instagram?
• 42:32
  Eric: No, I don't want to complicate things.
• 42:33
  Matt: Let's just settle into an easy answer.
• 42:35
  Eric: We're assuming there are only two options here.
• 42:39
  Matt: Okay.
• 42:39
  Matt: So, okay, first, before we get to the extended universe, of the two options.
• 42:44
  Eric: Of the two normal options, obviously, over.
• 42:47
  Matt: Like, thank God.
• 42:48
  Matt: Oh my god.
• 42:49
  Matt: What?
• 42:50
  Matt: I thought you were a monster for a moment.
• 42:52
  Matt: Yes, it's over.
• 42:53
  Eric: And just practicality-wise, like you're more likely to accidentally rip the toilet paper off too soon if it's like grinding against.
• 42:59
  Matt: So what so we have 25 seconds.
• 43:01
  Matt: We've already established the answer is over.
• 43:03
  Matt: What are these other options, Eric?
• 43:04
  Eric: Sideways.
• 43:05
  Matt: Sideways?
• 43:06
  Matt: What?
• 43:07
  Eric: You have a sideways.
• 43:08
  Matt: Are you just admitting that you can't put the toilet paper on the toilet?
• 43:12
  Eric: No, I'm admitting that I'm very lazy, and often I'll just have a roll perched on sideways on like a ledge or something.
• 43:18
  Matt: And I can't say that I don't do that.
• 43:20
  Matt: Yeah, exactly.
• 43:21
  Matt: And that's the five-minute mark.
• 43:24
  Matt: Hey, hey, hey.
• 43:25
  Matt: We did great.
• 43:26
  Matt: We did pretty good for our first fast five.
• 43:28
  Matt: Yeah.
• 43:29
  Matt: I realize I read all the questions.
• 43:31
  Matt: We should probably have alternated.
• 43:32
  Matt: We probably should have, but I realize you were on a roll.
• 43:34
  Matt: I didn't want to stop that energy.
• 43:35
  Matt: I got nervous.
• 43:36
  Matt: Yeah.
• 43:37
  Matt: I got nervous about the time.
• 43:38
  Matt: Okay, Eric, you want to hit us with your with our second question for the day?
• 43:43
  Matt: Now that we're now that we're coming off of the high of the fast five.
• 43:47
  Eric: Oh feel pumping through my veins.
• 43:49
  Eric: Um, okay.
• 43:50
  Eric: Matt, I love this question.
• 43:52
  Eric: This is from Simply Lindsay on Instagram.
• 43:56
  Eric: How many times can you quote so Circle back.
• 44:01
  Eric: End quote.
• 44:01
  Matt: And I believe if I could offer a little inside knowledge, uh being uh married to Simply Lindsay, uh I believe this came from originally a uh uh a popular TikTok post.
• 44:14
  Matt: So uh I I believe this is a topic of discussion in the in the social uh arena right now.
• 44:21
  Matt: So Eric, Eric, you know, I I hear that you've got these these passions.
• 44:25
  Matt: I can see them in your face.
• 44:27
  Matt: What what do you what what's your first impression here?
• 44:30
  Eric: So let me start by talking about the longest amount of time I've spent, quote, circling back.
• 44:39
  Eric: Okay.
• 44:40
  Eric: My job involves a lot of meetings.
• 44:45
  Eric: Constant meetings, meetings about meetings.
• 44:47
  Matt: Oh, my favorite kind.
• 44:49
  Eric: Yeah.
• 44:50
  Eric: The longest meeting I've ever had to date lasted nine hours.
• 44:57
  Matt: Nine hours.
• 44:58
  Eric: Nine hours consecutively, and it was three people.
• 45:02
  Eric: What?
• 45:03
  Eric: It was me, two of my colleagues, and my entire job during that meeting was just being the circle back person.
• 45:15
  Eric: What?
• 45:16
  Eric: These two would oh yeah.
• 45:18
  Eric: We were we came in to discuss a simple thing.
• 45:22
  Eric: This meeting should have been like a two-hour at the most meeting.
• 45:25
  Eric: Okay.
• 45:27
  Eric: It devolved into so many tangents, broke down into so many bubbling, like, I didn't realize how much these two secretly despised each other until I had to be in a meeting with just the three of them.
• 45:43
  Eric: So it all came out.
• 45:45
  Eric: About every 45 minutes or so, I'd get in a all right, let's circle back to what we're originally discussing.
• 45:54
  Eric: So I've discovered when there's enough anger in the room, there's enough animosity, and it's not directed at the circle back person, yeah, I probably I could have kept that going.
• 46:06
  Eric: I eventually had to beg them like to end the meeting.
• 46:10
  Matt: I was like, can we please just I'm like, it is almost I don't want to say I don't believe you, but nine hours?
• 46:16
  Matt: And you're telling me this is nine hours.
• 46:18
  Eric: This is a nine-hour meeting without even a you haven't mentioned anything about a bagel or uh or uh I think we had a we had like a we had like a tenor here and there just so we could like get water or like coffee, but because we were not anticipating being there, so there was no preparations made.
• 46:38
  Matt: So I was once part of a very long meeting, probably about three hours, as you said, a meeting about meetings in a former place of business.
• 46:48
  Matt: And this meeting then became lore because somebody, and I'm uh like you, I don't want to throw any names out.
• 46:56
  Matt: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 46:56
  Matt: But there was an individual who was campaigning.
• 47:00
  Matt: I want you to buckle up for this, who was campaigning that we have all of our meetings on one day of the week.
• 47:08
  Matt: And it just be and that day, by the way, was Thursday.
• 47:12
  Matt: Oh he wanted to to to bring down Thursday to just be about just meeting to meeting to meeting.
• 47:20
  Matt: And everybody else, thankfully, everybody else at the table was like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
• 47:24
  Matt: No, it's resounding.
• 47:26
  Matt: No, we're not doing that.
• 47:28
  Matt: That's terrible.
• 47:29
  Matt: Yeah, it was a terrible meeting about should we limit the meetings to just in the morning, no meetings afternoon?
• 47:34
  Matt: Maybe the meetings only start in the afternoon and you get the morning to work, and it was like, god damn.
• 47:39
  Matt: Meanwhile, nope, by the way, no outcome from that from the Oh, oh, I I could have told you that.
• 47:45
  Matt: But oh, I thought I could have told you that.
• 47:47
  Matt: But that meeting at least did have a breakfast spread to it.
• 47:51
  Eric: Oh yeah.
• 47:52
  Eric: No, there was there the the the the had gone fallow.
• 47:56
  Matt: Oh, I'm sorry for you, Eric.
• 47:57
  Eric: It was my fucking nightmare.
• 47:58
  Eric: It's actually why, like, now I I've noticed that if there's a meeting scheduled, if it goes even five minutes past the scheduled time, I just start feeling blinding rage.
• 48:09
  Matt: Oh yeah.
• 48:10
  Eric: Yeah, I mean it's like a survival reflex.
• 48:13
  Matt: Yeah, totally.
• 48:14
  Matt: I mean, I think I feel that way about most meetings anyway.
• 48:19
  Eric: Yeah.
• 48:19
  Eric: Well, let's circle back to the question.
• 48:21
  Eric: Yeah, let's circle back to the question.
• 48:22
  Eric: Uh let's circle back.
• 48:23
  Eric: Um So so okay, so I I he I don't think it's a finite number.
• 48:27
  Matt: I don't think it's like a definite number.
• 48:29
  Matt: Well, so this is my this is what it this is where the question hinges for me.
• 48:33
  Matt: Okay, yeah.
• 48:34
  Matt: If so, in the circle of conversation, you've gotten away from the point, right?
• 48:39
  Matt: And just so everybody is clear, I am now making hand illustrations to my partner.
• 48:44
  Matt: Very good.
• 48:44
  Matt: It's very good.
• 48:45
  Matt: So you're working your way around this point like a like a clock, and then you come back to the original point.
• 48:51
  Matt: Do we consider the circle complete?
• 48:54
  Matt: You can only circle back one time, but we all know in real life that doesn't happen.
• 48:59
  Matt: You just admitted that it not over the course of nine hours, you're circling back and again and again.
• 49:03
  Matt: So the cycle just begins, it's a cyclical uh conversation.
• 49:07
  Matt: It just keeps going around.
• 49:08
  Matt: It's it's the circle, it's the devil, it's a it's a circle of hell.
• 49:11
  Eric: Yeah.
• 49:12
  Eric: Circle back just is the nice way of saying, let's stop talking about whatever the fuck you're talking about and go back to the thing we're supposed to.
• 49:19
  Matt: Well, yeah, I mean, yeah, that's what it is, right?
• 49:22
  Matt: Let's go back to what we're supposed to you have gotten off topic.
• 49:25
  Matt: It's off a speak for you have you have devolved us into madness.
• 49:31
  Eric: Yeah.
• 49:31
  Eric: My my I'll I'll take let's circle back though any day over uh cut the sidebar.
• 49:38
  Matt: Ooh, I don't think I have ever Oh yeah, oh no, that's not true.
• 49:42
  Matt: I've had people say, like, let's cut the sidebars.
• 49:45
  Matt: Not even to the person talking.
• 49:48
  Eric: Can we have less sidebars?
• 49:49
  Eric: Oh, yeah.
• 49:50
  Eric: Can we excuse me?
• 49:50
  Eric: Can we cut the sidebars?
• 49:52
  Eric: Okay, thank you.
• 49:53
  Eric: Yeah, I which is a great way of saying I have no way of commanding any respect or attention from anyone in this room.
• 50:03
  Eric: I uh clearly I can't hold your attention.
• 50:07
  Eric: I know you all don't want to be here.
• 50:09
  Eric: I don't want to be here.
• 50:10
  Eric: Stop talking about how you don't want to be here because I'm not allowed to talk about it.
• 50:14
  Matt: But I feel like that doesn't happen too much because I feel like anyone with any office experience has long since learned to text the person across the table.
• 50:24
  Eric: Oh yeah.
• 50:25
  Eric: Oh, thank God.
• 50:26
  Eric: Now that all of our meetings are are all they're all happening online.
• 50:30
  Eric: We have our we have our we have link, we have like it's like our it's like our AOL chat for work, and we just use that.
• 50:36
  Matt: Well, listen, I have been working from home for over three years now.
• 50:40
  Matt: I have long since mastered the ability of in a big meeting keeping that Slack or keeping that chat window right dead center.
• 50:52
  Matt: So you're still looking at the meeting, but no one can tell that you're also talking to your your best work friends.
• 50:59
  Eric: Oh man, let me tell you right now, I have I have witnessed the nightmare scenario.
• 51:05
  Matt: What is the night?
• 51:06
  Eric: Someone uh someone was messaging their buddy in like, you know, like you said, like Slack, like whatever.
• 51:12
  Eric: They sent it to the meeting.
• 51:14
  Eric: No.
• 51:14
  Eric: Oh yeah.
• 51:15
  Eric: Oh yeah.
• 51:16
  Eric: It was uh Did they get fired?
• 51:19
  Eric: What'd they say was a no no they didn't get fired.
• 51:21
  Eric: It was super fucking awkward.
• 51:24
  Eric: And then we and and and I'll give them this.
• 51:27
  Eric: It worked.
• 51:28
  Eric: The the solution by the person running the meeting was just okay, that didn't happen.
• 51:33
  Eric: Like, like they just kept going, didn't acknowledge it, didn't didn't even good on them.
• 51:39
  Matt: I mean, they could have made a thing out of it, I guess.
• 51:40
  Matt: Oh, they could have made a thing out of it.
• 51:42
  Matt: I once accidentally, when I was in my interning days, I once accidentally assumed that the last person I texted was Lindsay.
• 51:53
  Matt: And in fact, was my boss.
• 51:56
  Matt: And I texted my boss about my boss.
• 51:59
  Matt: But thankfully, it was just slightly vague enough.
• 52:05
  Matt: It was clearly about her, but like uh there was room for the benefit of the doubt being like, well, that was a weird thing that you sent me, but it wasn't like this person fucking sucks, you know what I mean?
• 52:17
  Eric: Oh, oh, that like they couldn't pick up on the fact that you didn't intend for them to see that.
• 52:22
  Matt: Uh, I well, I had to address the fact that I sent it to the wrong person because it didn't make any sense to be sent to them, but it's not like it was so inflammatory.
• 52:31
  Matt: Gotcha.
• 52:31
  Matt: Uh it was more of like she's driving me crazy than it was uh um uh like something like you know, she's an in a direct insult or something, but still gotcha, you then have to like a reasonable complaint about one's superior exactly.
• 52:49
  Matt: But maybe we should you know circle back to let's circle back.
• 52:52
  Eric: Let's circle back.
• 52:53
  Matt: So I think so.
• 52:54
  Matt: Now that we've established that it it's a circle of hell and it just keeps going, it can just it has the ability to keep going.
• 53:00
  Matt: How many times though?
• 53:01
  Matt: This is and this is the question, how many times can you circle back?
• 53:05
  Matt: I think the answer is uh unlimited?
• 53:09
  Eric: Unlimited.
• 53:10
  Eric: It really it's it's really a question.
• 53:12
  Eric: The question should be how many times can a human being subject themselves to being circled back?
• 53:18
  Matt: Yeah, okay, I see what you're saying.
• 53:19
  Matt: How many times is it actually possible to circle back to the same topic before you descend into madness?
• 53:25
  Eric: Precisely.
• 53:26
  Eric: And I have learned my upper limit.
• 53:28
  Matt: What's your upper limit?
• 53:30
  Eric: Nine fucking hours.
• 53:31
  Matt: Nine hours, but that's not a specific time.
• 53:34
  Eric: Oh, yeah, like uh, so like number of times it was it was like if I had to let me let me let me let me armchair math this.
• 53:42
  Matt: Please do.
• 53:42
  Matt: What else do we do?
• 53:43
  Eric: During that nine hour, nine hour meeting, like nine, sixty minutes in that hour.
• 53:50
  Eric: Yeah.
• 53:50
  Eric: Usually or rather, what I meant to say is five hundred and forty minutes in that nine hour period.
• 53:56
  Eric: Uh I did a circle back probably about every 45 minutes.
• 54:03
  Eric: Um, and I'll actually add a few in there because like it got heated.
• 54:08
  Eric: I'll I'll adjust, I'll put a tolerance in there of like.
• 54:11
  Matt: I can see you mid two people fighting, like trying to break up two dogs.
• 54:15
  Matt: I can just see you being like, no, uh, if we could just uh circle back uh to the topic at hand.
• 54:20
  Eric: Yeah, so I added I threw in four extras just in case.
• 54:23
  Eric: Like, hey guys, like I I like there were times when I was like, I'm gonna have to have my boss on speed dial.
• 54:29
  Eric: I don't think it's gonna come to blows, but like it's gonna reach a point where I no longer feel comfortable being in the room with these people.
• 54:35
  Eric: Being the uh arbiter.
• 54:36
  Eric: So about in the neighborhood of uh, you know, 12 to 16 times is my remote.
• 54:43
  Matt: 12 to 16 times, but that's in an extremely combative situation.
• 54:49
  Matt: Yes.
• 54:49
  Matt: What about the the opposite?
• 54:51
  Matt: An extremely monotone, boring ass meeting where somebody just keeps saying, Well, let's circle back to the sales report, you know, over and over again.
• 55:01
  Eric: Then my I adjust my answer, and again, it it becomes less of a finite number, and more the question becomes how long was the meeting scheduled to be?
• 55:11
  Eric: Because once we have gotten at 15 minutes past that, I'm now looking for my first exit off the highway.
• 55:19
  Eric: So, like, I'm looking for a long conversation so I can pull any.
• 55:23
  Eric: Oh, I have another appointment, I have to buy.
• 55:26
  Matt: If I may, I think you were ready to pull off the highway before you got to 15.
• 55:32
  Matt: I think 15 is just when you were ready to die.
• 55:35
  Matt: Oh, yeah.
• 55:36
  Matt: I think the madness starts setting in after 10.
• 55:44
  Matt: But even so, I I mean it that's over time, right?
• 55:47
  Matt: If you try to get 10 circle back at circle backs in one hour, that office will explode.
• 55:54
  Matt: Oh, yeah.
• 55:54
  Matt: Oh, they'll the at least your head will.
• 55:57
  Matt: Yeah.
• 55:58
  Matt: So I think it is a little, it's a little time dependent, but I think anything over 10, we've reached just we've reached a Dante level of circle backs.
• 56:06
  Eric: We've reached a Dante level.
• 56:07
  Eric: We've also reached a level people don't talk about this enough.
• 56:09
  Eric: The people who are usually, okay, let's circle back, are usually also asking the wrong question.
• 56:13
  Eric: They should be asking, wait, why are we circling back to this?
• 56:16
  Eric: If we have to keep circling back to this, it probably means we've, you know, plowed that earth.
• 56:22
  Eric: Right.
• 56:22
  Eric: There's nothing left to discuss.
• 56:24
  Eric: Right.
• 56:24
  Eric: Like they're just trying to force the discussion back, like, well, we're we're supposed to be talking about this and we still have time in this meeting, like, but if we're done.
• 56:31
  Matt: I don't think there's any real.
• 56:32
  Matt: I feel like new business doesn't ever come out of a circle back.
• 56:35
  Matt: Nothing good came out of a circle back.
• 56:38
  Eric: Every now and then you'll get a good circle back, which is like we start talking about a thing.
• 56:44
  Eric: We start talking about a thing related to that thing, and we get on an excited tangent about that.
• 56:50
  Eric: And it's still related, but we're just like, we're, we're, we're someone can see the drift starting to happen, and a good person, like they'll see it coming, and they'll be like, all right, this is cool.
• 56:59
  Eric: Let's make notes about this.
• 57:00
  Eric: Let's actually talk about this like some other time.
• 57:03
  Eric: Right.
• 57:03
  Eric: And let's go back to the original thing because yeah.
• 57:05
  Matt: That's another meeting about that.
• 57:08
  Matt: That's my favorite.
• 57:09
  Eric: Yeah.
• 57:10
  Eric: Which, depending on the thing, can be like, all right, or fuck me.
• 57:14
  Eric: Yeah, exactly.
• 57:14
  Eric: Like, goddamn.
• 57:16
  Eric: I I think this this is me getting on my soapbox.
• 57:19
  Eric: Meeting culture in corporate America is fucking obscene.
• 57:25
  Matt: It is.
• 57:25
  Matt: It's fascinating though, too.
• 57:27
  Matt: Oh, it is my it is mind-blowing.
• 57:30
  Matt: I've read several plays in the last like year plus that focus on like office culture, and I it's like my favorite thing right now is is satire around this this sort of uh office environment.
• 57:44
  Matt: Yeah.
• 57:45
  Eric: Yeah.
• 57:45
  Eric: It is uh coming into corporate America was me realizing, oh shit, office space is the documentary.
• 57:51
  Matt: Right.
• 57:51
  Matt: And so is the office to a certain extent.
• 57:54
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 57:55
  Eric: It's it's buckwild.
• 57:58
  Matt: Um, do we think for an answer?
• 58:03
  Matt: Are we good with over 10 in a standard meeting?
• 58:06
  Eric: In a standard meeting, yeah.
• 58:08
  Eric: You can you can circle back uh ten times before people start getting squirrely.
• 58:13
  Eric: Yeah, like they start wondering what's wrong.
• 58:15
  Matt: Before you st people start questioning their own place in this universe and whether or not they are already in a circle back of hell.
• 58:24
  Eric: Yeah.
• 58:25
  Eric: The other problem is it also depends on how many people are in the meeting.
• 58:30
  Eric: Oh, sure, that is a factor.
• 58:32
  Eric: We didn't even consider it, like, for example, my nine-hour one.
• 58:35
  Eric: It's the only reason that was nine hours is because it was only three of us.
• 58:39
  Matt: If I'm in a meeting with only three people and one of them is continually using the phrase, let's circle back, that person's gonna die after two hours.
• 58:46
  Eric: Yeah.
• 58:47
  Eric: I it's a miracle I didn't die.
• 58:48
  Matt: They were slowly getting more pissed at me.
• 58:51
  Matt: No, actually, you you were saying you were the one who was circling back.
• 58:53
  Matt: You were the circle back guy.
• 58:55
  Matt: I was the circle back guy.
• 58:56
  Matt: Yeah, you should be dead.
• 58:57
  Eric: Because it was me fighting desperately to like just like, hey, could this meeting not be nine hours?
• 59:02
  Eric: Right.
• 59:03
  Matt: I still I can't get over this nine-hour meeting.
• 59:05
  Matt: It's it was ooh.
• 59:07
  Matt: All right.
• 59:08
  Matt: Well, thank you for the question, simply, Lindsay.
• 59:11
  Matt: Uh uh I think the roundabout answer is ten times in a standard meeting.
• 59:16
  Matt: In a standard meeting.
• 59:18
  Matt: In a standard team meeting.
• 59:19
  Matt: In a galactic standard meeting.
• 59:21
  Matt: Oh man, but there is, whoo, there's a lot of juice there.
• 59:24
  Matt: Um yeah.
• 59:26
  Matt: So thank you for those questions.
• 59:28
  Matt: That brings us to our second segment, our second new segment of the episode.
• 59:34
  Matt: Uh new segment.
• 59:36
  Matt: Sorry, I was just trying it.
• 59:37
  Matt: I don't think that works.
• 59:38
  Matt: I don't know about that one.
• 59:39
  Matt: I don't know about that theme.
• 59:41
  Matt: But I hate to say it, but speaking of circling back, this segment is called I don't know that we came up with a great title, but we've been calling it a follow-up.
• 59:56
  Eric: Just a follow-up.
• 59:59
  Matt: Circling back.
• 1:00:00
  Matt: I feel like I feel like we've accidentally stumbled into the title of this segment.
• 1:00:05
  Eric: Yeah, we we kind of we we're kind of assholes if we don't call it circling back at this point.
• 1:00:10
  Matt: Yeah, or some version thereof.
• 1:00:12
  Matt: So what we're circling back to is what we have discovered is over time, as we have filled your ears with with hours and hours worth of of I'm gonna say A plus content.
• 1:00:27
  Matt: You have started asking us follow-up questions.
• 1:00:30
  Matt: Two questions we have already asked and answered.
• 1:00:35
  Matt: And one of those, since this is episode 10, I thought it'd be nice to uh have our first one, Eric, be about our first ever question and a character we have not seen since a centaur at Panera Our good friend Harry the Centaur.
• 1:00:54
  Matt: So, uh, for those of you who are new to the show, haven't listened to our full canon yet, in our first episode, our very first question came from DCT Morris, which was Is it okay for a centaur to poop outside?
• 1:01:10
  Matt: And over the course of that question, we uh we created a character by the name of Harry the Centaur.
• 1:01:19
  Eric: We birthed a mythos.
• 1:01:24
  Matt: Yes, it was the birth of a mythos.
• 1:01:26
  Matt: Let's just reflect, let's think back, let's remember Harry the Centaur.
• 1:01:35
  Matt: So you're walking out of the Panera, you got your bread ball.
• 1:01:38
  Matt: Uh you it's leaking, it's leaking noodle soup cream, chicken noodle soup all over the place.
• 1:01:44
  Matt: Got it.
• 1:01:45
  Matt: A centaur named Harry.
• 1:01:48
  Eric: Do I know his name?
• 1:01:50
  Eric: Uh everything you're adding to this is is what is the whiplash as I change my answers in my head as new information is introduced, is astronomical.
• 1:02:02
  Eric: No, no, no.
• 1:02:02
  Eric: I know.
• 1:02:03
  Eric: I know him.
• 1:02:04
  Eric: His name's Harry.
• 1:02:09
  Matt: Alright, now that we have refreshed ourselves on who Harry is, the question, which comes from Brewer underscore the dog on Instagram.
• 1:02:20
  Matt: So this is our first canine question, I believe.
• 1:02:23
  Matt: How would Harry the Centaur wear his pants?
• 1:02:27
  Eric: And I like, I like that it does specify.
• 1:02:29
  Eric: I'm so happy that Harry was centaurized.
• 1:02:31
  Eric: No, it's Harry.
• 1:02:32
  Eric: Because the question isn't how do centaurs wear their pants?
• 1:02:34
  Eric: How does Harry wear his pants?
• 1:02:36
  Eric: And we and we know we've agreed that Harry does indeed poop out pants.
• 1:02:40
  Matt: Yes, that has been, in fact, it it is most appropriate, I believe, is where we landed with that.
• 1:02:46
  Matt: But I will say that Brewer sent us a photograph of options that they feel are the options.
• 1:02:53
  Matt: And those options are, I'll show them to you, all in the back of the caboose, the butt region.
• 1:03:03
  Matt: Just the front region, so just his front two legs.
• 1:03:07
  Matt: All of the legs, but none of the butt.
• 1:03:10
  Matt: So basically, a giant belt would be needed.
• 1:03:14
  Matt: Or finally, all four legs, all of his backside just cocoon, the entire heart.
• 1:03:23
  Matt: So only the male torso part is exposed.
• 1:03:27
  Matt: I do feel like that is a little ridiculous, at least especially for Harry.
• 1:03:32
  Matt: I think, as we recall, Harry he goes to the beat of his own drum.
• 1:03:37
  Eric: Goes to the beat of his own drum, which means like, okay, so this fuels my answer so hard.
• 1:03:43
  Eric: Because I don't think he's he's gonna poop outside.
• 1:03:46
  Eric: I don't think he has much control over it.
• 1:03:49
  Eric: Um I at least don't think he administers much control over it.
• 1:03:54
  Matt: He goes when he wants, where he wants.
• 1:03:56
  Eric: Exactly.
• 1:03:57
  Eric: And exactly.
• 1:03:58
  Eric: So I don't think that lends itself to any configuration where Gene is covering the butthole.
• 1:04:03
  Matt: Yeah, that's true with a single domain to take to take that down.
• 1:04:08
  Eric: No.
• 1:04:09
  Eric: And let's talk about what Gene who the genes are for.
• 1:04:12
  Eric: The genes are not for the force.
• 1:04:14
  Matt: They're for they're for uh they're for they're other people.
• 1:04:19
  Matt: They're for human half of Harry.
• 1:04:21
  Eric: Yeah.
• 1:04:21
  Matt: Yeah, it's for the best for him to fit in.
• 1:04:26
  Matt: But let me be clear, I don't think Harry the Centaur wears pants.
• 1:04:31
  Eric: No, I think Harry wearing jeans is like his version of the city.
• 1:04:37
  Matt: Now, now the question is just pants, not jeans specifically.
• 1:04:40
  Matt: Just the picture was of jeans.
• 1:04:42
  Eric: Oh, okay.
• 1:04:43
  Matt: Yeah, I feel like it is his formal wear.
• 1:04:47
  Matt: He's got like one nice pair of dark jeans.
• 1:04:51
  Eric: Yeah, and I think he wears them five.
• 1:04:54
  Matt: I think so, because I think that's the really the only option for Harry, because that butt's gotta be out.
• 1:04:59
  Matt: That butt's gotta be open and free.
• 1:05:02
  Matt: He has stooped to the level of putting on pants for humans.
• 1:05:06
  Matt: He's certainly not gonna stoop to the level of pooping in them for other for humans, for the human beings comfort.
• 1:05:16
  Eric: Yeah, absolutely not.
• 1:05:18
  Eric: I almost wonder if he wears it as like uh it could go one of two ways.
• 1:05:24
  Eric: Him wearing jeans could be Harry mocking humans, yeah.
• 1:05:28
  Matt: Or it could be Oh, you think he wears them ironically?
• 1:05:33
  Eric: Uh yeah.
• 1:05:34
  Eric: Like he he he he forced some some you know textile person to do his bidding.
• 1:05:43
  Eric: Yeah.
• 1:05:44
  Eric: Make me Levi's.
• 1:05:46
  Matt: Make me Levi's.
• 1:05:47
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:05:47
  Matt: Ooh, I demand dungareen.
• 1:05:50
  Matt: So you think are we evolving Harry now to be someone who has servants?
• 1:05:57
  Matt: Like a s or at least a staff?
• 1:06:00
  Eric: I think I think he has I think he has whatever the centaur equivalent of an intern is.
• 1:06:07
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:06:08
  Matt: Yeah, I could go buying that.
• 1:06:09
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:06:11
  Eric: He calls him you know stable folk.
• 1:06:13
  Eric: Stable folk.
• 1:06:15
  Eric: Stable folk.
• 1:06:16
  Matt: Oh man.
• 1:06:17
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:06:18
  Matt: So he has intern stable folk.
• 1:06:22
  Matt: Doing doing his bidding and at least making his Levi's.
• 1:06:28
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:06:28
  Matt: Well, I I mean, I don't I have to say for Harry specifically, I don't think there's much discussion here at all.
• 1:06:35
  Matt: I think it's front legs only.
• 1:06:37
  Matt: And I think legs only.
• 1:06:38
  Matt: That's only on special occasions.
• 1:06:40
  Eric: Only on special occasions.
• 1:06:42
  Matt: Only when he's at a ball.
• 1:06:44
  Eric: Yeah.
• 1:06:45
  Eric: Yeah.
• 1:06:45
  Eric: Like when he's in his cave or his wherever is sent.
• 1:06:49
  Eric: I don't know if Centaurs living caves.
• 1:06:50
  Matt: No, I think Harry has like a tasteful rustic lodge.
• 1:06:55
  Eric: Ooh.
• 1:06:56
  Eric: Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:06:57
  Eric: Like a lot.
• 1:06:58
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:06:59
  Eric: So when he decides to go when he's about to go out among the mortals, like he'll call forth one of his stable folk.
• 1:07:06
  Eric: He'll be like.
• 1:07:08
  Eric: He'll be like, Kenneth.
• 1:07:10
  Eric: Kenneth, fetch me my dungarees.
• 1:07:14
  Matt: Sir, are you are you going to Panera?
• 1:07:17
  Matt: Fetch me up my dungarees, boy.
• 1:07:19
  Matt: Right away, sir.
• 1:07:22
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:07:22
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:07:23
  Eric: Yeah, exactly.
• 1:07:24
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:07:24
  Matt: Alright, well, Brewer the Dog, there you go.
• 1:07:28
  Matt: Uh he wears them on the front two legs only.
• 1:07:31
  Matt: Uh, and that was our first circle back follow-up.
• 1:07:35
  Matt: I we can't use both.
• 1:07:36
  Matt: That sounds weird.
• 1:07:37
  Matt: Or can we?
• 1:07:38
  Eric: Or can we?
• 1:07:39
  Eric: Circle back, follow-up.
• 1:07:41
  Eric: Circle back, follow-up.
• 1:07:43
  Eric: Oh, there's a jingle.
• 1:07:44
  Eric: There's a jingle to be had.
• 1:07:46
  Matt: This is a I don't know if we're the ones to find it, but no, no, no, no.
• 1:07:51
  Matt: Uh, if you've got a jingle in you, by all means let us know.
• 1:07:55
  Matt: Also, if you want to write us a theme song slash perform it, we are open to that.
• 1:08:00
  Matt: Uh, we are open to changing up our music, aren't I think?
• 1:08:04
  Matt: Uh are we not?
• 1:08:06
  Matt: Oh, yeah.
• 1:08:06
  Matt: Oh, we're open to that.
• 1:08:08
  Matt: We're open to and we're open, of course, to all of your questions.
• 1:08:12
  Matt: We need you to submit questions.
• 1:08:14
  Matt: If you have not submitted a question yet, I challenge you to submit us a question.
• 1:08:19
  Matt: And uh I can almost guarantee as long as you bring the goods, it'll be on the show.
• 1:08:25
  Eric: Matt challenges you.
• 1:08:27
  Eric: I fucking dare you.
• 1:08:30
  Matt: Oh, trip I triple dog dare ya.
• 1:08:33
  Matt: Fuck.
• 1:08:33
  Matt: How about that?
• 1:08:34
  Matt: And you can submit.
• 1:08:37
  Matt: Okay, well, we I don't know that we need to call them cowards.
• 1:08:40
  Matt: I mean, we still want them to submit the questions.
• 1:08:42
  Matt: We don't need to call them cowards if they do it.
• 1:08:45
  Matt: You goddamn right.
• 1:08:46
  Matt: And you can prove yourself.
• 1:08:48
  Matt: You can prove your mettle by submitting your questions to you didn't ask for this at gmail.com or uh searching for you didn't ask pod.
• 1:08:57
  Matt: That's the letter you didn't ask pod on Instagram or on Twitter.
• 1:09:03
  Matt: Um, and that is our program for you for episode 10 of You Didn't Ask For This.
• 1:09:10
  Matt: My name's Matt Shay.
• 1:09:12
  Matt: My name's Eric Poach.
• 1:09:14
  Matt: You didn't ask.
• 1:09:15
  Matt: Let's circle back.
• 1:09:16
  Matt: Uh let's just circle back real quick to uh the topic on hand, which was how do we end shows?
• 1:09:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know one thing.