Latest / AWAKEN with Dylan Ayaloo: Inner Work, Healing, Yoga & Meditation / [EP38] Authenticity: Why it helps you win in life & business
Transcript
- 0:00Why authenticity helps you win in business and in life.
- 0:03Following on from last week's session message where I talked about vulnerability, right?
- 0:09So they're related topics.
- 0:12So in a world that's constantly trying to tell you who to be, or it feels like that anyway,
- 0:18authenticity is a, it's not a silent superpower anymore.
- 0:22It is actually quite obvious.
- 0:24If you look at anywhere from social media to business, to relationships,
- 0:30or any other area in our lives.
- 0:32The people who are succeeding, if you want to call it that,
- 0:37bring a level of authenticity, a realness, right?
- 0:41So that's the topic for today that we're going to look at.
- 0:44So whether it's in you're building a business,
- 0:47you're navigating relationships,
- 0:48or you just want to feel good in yourself,
- 0:52comfortable and confident in your own skin,
- 0:54trying to be someone else is just exhausting.
- 0:57It's the route to burnout.
- 1:00And pretending to be someone else in this world that feels, demands it, is a highway to burnout.
- 1:09So being who you are is where success and freedom is, however you define freedom and success to be.
- 1:18So in this message, or in this session here, in this video, I'm going to be looking at three parts.
- 1:23So the three parts of the message is why authenticity is the most magnetic currency that you might have, if you want to call it that at all.
- 1:34And how to tell if you've been performing or being in people-pleasing.
- 1:41And as you might have heard me say before in sessions, if you've been around this work, pleasing is manipulating others to like us or want to like us.
- 1:53talk a bit about that and then what it takes to live to love and to lead as your true self
- 2:00and authentic version of you so why does authenticity win the world is actually right
- 2:07now saturated with curated personalities and highlight reels and false confidence right so
- 2:16people just like beating their chest so to speak and portraying a certain version that they think
- 2:24and that's what's needed or that's what people want to receive and what breaks through the noise
- 2:30is this truth honesty and vulnerability and people can own their life story themselves who they are
- 2:40and show up, be courageous enough to show up imperfect
- 2:44because that's what it might feel like
- 2:46and to be real, essentially.
- 2:50So in business, authenticity builds trust, connection, sustainability.
- 2:55In relationships, it builds safety, respect and freedom.
- 2:59So let's talk about that.
- 3:00In business, authenticity builds trust
- 3:03because people buy from people who are a made-up version
- 3:07that we think they want to receive.
- 3:10and sustainability because no more, you don't have to perform anymore. So you're not hitting
- 3:16performance burnout and your work is coming from an aligned place within yourself.
- 3:22Excuse me. And in relationships, authenticity builds safety, respect, and freedom. So in
- 3:30relationship, authenticity builds safety, respect, and freedom. So safety, emotional honesty is the
- 3:36foundation of intimacy right so if there isn't that level of honesty and realness then what is
- 3:43the relationship our actions so therefore they know where they stand and freedom like you don't
- 3:49have to hide or perform to be loved right that you can just accept the love that is there and
- 3:56show up as yourself or show up as yourself and receive the love that is there so authenticity
- 4:02This is how we stand out in a world that is addicted to fitting in, to pleasing, which is basically pleasing, right?
- 4:10Manipulating others to like us, which doesn't sound very nice when it's said like that.
- 4:14But essentially, that's what pleasing is.
- 4:16Fit all together.
- 4:17So if you relate to that, maybe you're constantly performing in your brand, your relationship, your self-image, and how you portray yourself to those around you.
- 4:29And it's just sucking the life out of you.
- 4:32of your life force and your joy that is within you.
- 4:37It's difficult to be joyful when we're not being real.
- 4:40We're not showing ourselves.
- 4:41It takes the joy away.
- 4:42It sucks that energy out.
- 4:44Number two, you're second-guessing what you really want to say.
- 4:47So you edit yourself so that you can avoid being rejected or judged.
- 4:52And you worry more about being liked than being true.
- 4:56And the third is you just feel misaligned.
- 4:59And even if everything looks good, successful, together on the outside, you're achieving and you can feel it.
- 5:09Because whatever level of success that we might be able to get, however you define that, without being real, without a realness, without an authenticity, it simply is just hollow.
- 5:20What is it really based on?
- 5:22And authenticity doesn't mean just saying everything that's on your mind.
- 5:26it means what's true for you within, like your inner truth and your outer expressions,
- 5:33there's a match. So what's going on internally, what you feel internally, and what you're
- 5:40expressing. First is self-connection over self-image. That means connecting with yourself.
- 5:48So you can listen to all the opinions and thoughts and all the knowledge around you
- 5:56But ultimately, where do you stand with that thing?
- 5:59What do you think or feel about the thing before you actually express it?
- 6:04So rather than being worried about the self-image and how we are seen,
- 6:08put the energy into what's true for me.
- 6:12And that's why you hear me in sessions.
- 6:14I always say, take a moment just to be with that for a moment.
- 6:18And what's true for you?
- 6:20And what is it that you think or feel?
- 6:23Write and then say that.
- 6:26which is that, say the thing that you're afraid to say.
- 6:29So in conversation or content or relationship and business,
- 6:34and say what you mean, not what sounds polished
- 6:37or what we think others want to hear.
- 6:41And say what you mean and mean what you say.
- 6:43Or don't say it.
- 6:47Express instead of impress or want to impress.
- 6:51And this is how people can actually feel us
- 6:54because we're giving them the truth.
- 6:56And the feeling that they are left with is the impact that is created.
- 7:01I think it was Maya Angelou that talked about people always remember how you make them feel.
- 7:06And the third one is let go of who you think you need to be.
- 7:10So trying to be professional, perfect, inspirational 24-7 is a really great recipe for burnout.
- 7:19And start to bring the human that is within, right?
- 7:23the human behind that, the wall of perfection. Because real always is far greater than perfect,
- 7:33always, every single time. And for those that are watching the recording or listening to
- 7:40the podcast of this message, if you're new to this work, if you have not been to this work,
- 7:46then here's my weekly little plug. Authenticity isn't about finding yourself. It's about removing
- 7:54everything that's not you, right? So it's not about you finding yourself because where are you
- 8:01looking? Most of the time you're looking outside, but rather it's actually looking within. And as we
- 8:05start to remove the layers, that is the knot you start to get more and more connected with the
- 8:12truth of who you are. Right? So that's essentially where you want to express from. So for those who
- 8:17are listening to the recording and not in this body of work, on the 21st of this month of April,
- 8:25our next seven-day free trial window for our Elevate Premium Membership opens. And you can
- 8:31come and check out the Wednesday morning meditation, the Saturday yoga meditation,
- 8:35and the Sunday there's going to be a mini-awaken where we'll do some work. And if this is a topic
- 8:39that relates to you.
- 8:40And if you want to come and work on removing the layers,
- 8:43that's a really powerful session where we do that work.
- 8:46So my final thoughts or closing thoughts on this topic
- 8:49is if you think about it,
- 8:51the most magnetic person in any room isn't the loudest.
- 8:55I certainly spent a good part of my earlier years
- 8:59in my teens and twenties,
- 9:01always thinking I wasn't good enough.
- 9:03And the person who was the loudest in the room,
- 9:06the most boisterous, loudest person,
- 9:09seemed to get attention. At that time, I wasn't even thinking of it as attention.
- 9:14It's not the loudest. It's not the most polished person, but it's the one that's most real,
- 9:20most authentic. And our truth is in our power. Our power is in our truth. And when you live
- 9:26from that place, that's where everything starts to change. So from an inner work perspective,
- 9:31when we look at this topic of authenticity, what's underneath not wanting to show ourselves
- 9:39be real, to express ourselves. Because there's this fear of, oh, but what if I show me and they
- 9:47see me and then they don't accept me? Or who I am is not good enough? Or who I am is not going to
- 9:56earn the level of love that I would like to have in my life? So therefore, we stay in that fear
- 10:03and just show like a curated version of ourselves,
- 10:07a made-up version.
- 10:09Or we taper things down because I speak for myself.
- 10:13I used to think like some of the things I'm talking about,
- 10:16oh, this is too much, too weird, too crazy, too out there.
- 10:21The meditations we do, for example,
- 10:23it's just compared to other more kind of body scan type meditations,
- 10:28which obviously we do body scan in ours too.
- 10:29I just thought with the energy work, it was just too much.
- 10:33It's too weird. It's too crazy. It's too out there. I can't share that.
- 10:38And what my fear was is that what if they see my crazy?
- 10:44But then what happened was as I, the pandemic kind of helped because it kicked my butt in just thrusting me forward and I had to do it and I had no choice.
- 10:53What I realized was that the more I show my weirdness, the more I started to attract people that align with that.
- 11:01and here we are, right?
- 11:04Like a bunch of weirdos in a good way.
- 11:08So if you're willing to show you
- 11:14the parts of you that you think,
- 11:15oh, that's too much, that's too weird, that's too crazy,
- 11:18I can guarantee you there's others there
- 11:21that are thinking that
- 11:21and they're probably looking for other people
- 11:24that they can connect with.
- 11:26And here we are in this session doing this
- 11:31Those of you listening in the recording, the podcast, if you're still here and listening to the episodes, you know, you're weird in a good way too.
- 11:41So welcome.
- 11:42And here's the other part of it.
- 11:45You know, the people who are going to think things about you, the people who are going to not like you or not accept you or just don't align with you, they probably already are thinking that.
- 11:54and actually it doesn't matter
- 11:56because it doesn't make you any less
- 11:59or more of who you are.
- 12:02Right?
- 12:02It doesn't actually affect you in any way.
- 12:05So they can think that
- 12:06and it doesn't mean anything.
- 12:09It only means what we make it mean.
- 12:12So it's okay.
- 12:14Let them have that opinion or thought
- 12:16or dislike if that's the case.
- 12:19I find most of the times in my life
- 12:21people don't dislike.
- 12:22They'll just step away.
- 12:24else that aligns more and that's perfect whether it's in life or business certainly in business
- 12:30you don't want to be trying to attract people that are not right not aligned it's just bad
- 12:36like a long term it's just bad for the business and in the business of our lives because we are
- 12:41the ceo of our lives same thing you don't want to attract the wrong people because when you know
- 12:49You feel brave enough to show you.
- 12:51And suddenly it's, whoa, who's this person?
- 12:55And because we weren't real right from the beginning.
- 12:58So it's never too late.
- 12:59And you can start now in case you're thinking, I already have these people around me.
- 13:03It's okay.
- 13:04Those that align will stay.
- 13:06And those that don't align won't.
- 13:08And that's okay.
- 13:09They can do that too.