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Quick Lift: How to Show Up, Speak Up & Lift Others · Loud & Lifted

• 0:00
  Welcome to loud and lifted quick lifts the bite
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  -sized boost you didn't know you needed I'm your
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  host Betsy ham and in less time than it takes
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  to order your coffee We're diving deeper into
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  the conversations that got us thinking feeling
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  and fired up from a previous episode Because
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  sometimes you just need an extra spark Let's
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  dive more into my conversation with Kim Schaller
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  While there are many great takeaways, three stood
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  out that we can take action on this week. First
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  up, clear the path. Don't just walk it. As we
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  talked about, Kim didn't just climb the ladder.
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  She sent it back down for others. Success isn't
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  just about you. It's about who's coming with
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  you or after you. I have to be honest, in case
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  you haven't caught on, this is probably one of
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  my biggest pet peeves is when women don't support
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  other women. And a lot of times it comes down
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  to the scarcity mindset. And that's where individuals
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  perceive resources, including success, are limited
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  or finite. Of course, this is crazy. We're not
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  in competition. And because insecurities, confidence
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  issues come into play, it tends to be the driver
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  behind this. Now, we're certainly not going to
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  solve this in this 10 minute episode of what
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  to do about insecurities and confidence. But
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  what we can do is start taking small steps to
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  be more supportive of each other. If you're a
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  leader of a team, you need your team to do well
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  in order for you to be able to continue to grow.
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  And even if you don't have people reporting to
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  you, the people around you need to have their
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  support and they need to have yours. I've seen
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  this. lack of support at every level, whether
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  it's at the entry level and people are just getting
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  started or even at the CEO level. I'd certainly
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  experienced that as a CEO where maybe other women
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  CEOs weren't supportive. What are we possibly
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  in competition for? We both have the title. We
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  both have these great jobs. So what's the concern?
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  And I will say this is where men do really well
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  and this goes back to I think how the boys club
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  gets started Men tend to support each other.
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  They recommend each other They talk about each
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  other in a positive light and maybe sometimes
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  they're loyal to a fault But at the end of the
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  day they are taking the actions in public to
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  be able to support each other in order to grow
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  now the other piece of this too is I think as
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  women the comments that we say about each other
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  are nasty and I have a hundred percent dealt
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  with this in the past where I'm attacked and
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  it's okay if someone doesn't like me or doesn't
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  like my style. The way that they attack you from
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  a very personal issue is very devastating. Things
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  that women will say about other women in positions
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  of power they would never say about men. They
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  would never say about physical appearance or
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  why you got your job or what you're good at.
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  and never go over your head because you are a
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  woman. The way that women treat each other has
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  been, I have experienced, has been just absolutely
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  nasty. And I guarantee you, if it was a man who
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  was in those positions and in those situations,
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  he would never would have been handled that way.
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  And again, this wasn't from them. This was from
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  other women in my life. So. I will get off my
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  soapbox because I could go on for this one for
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  hours. But at the end of the day, let's support
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  each other. The whole freaking point of my podcast,
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  right, is how do we be more supportive? So what
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  can you do? It's easier said than done. I get
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  that. Some people struggle with this, but let's
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  take little steps. So today, this week, this
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  month, be intentional about recommending or advocating
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  for another woman when she's not in the room.
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  Maybe it's suggesting someone to be part of a
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  project or a panel or a promotion, or maybe it's
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  just talking positively about someone on your
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  team or another team to a superior. It's little
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  actions like that, but they go a long way. By
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  the way, if you're not doing this and you think
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  that people don't notice, You're wrong. When
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  you don't support other women, everybody catches
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  onto that, not just women, but men. They realize
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  this selfish, self -consumed behavior, and it's
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  not a good look. It's not going to help you grow
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  and to be able to succeed when people are going
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  to catch on to the fact that you're too insecure
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  to support those around you. So back to the action
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  item. I'm going to stop off of this one, but
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  be intentional about supporting other women when
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  she's not in the room. Alright, opportunity number
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  two to focus on is you got to step up and you
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  got to get outside your comfort zone. I love
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  that Kim talked about telling people that when
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  they're at a networking event that they needed
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  to go talk to the executives in the room, they
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  needed that exposure. One of the biggest takeaways
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  I have had from Kim over the 20 some years is
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  in fact that something I carried on to my teams
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  through the years of, hey, if you're at an event,
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  go talk to somebody you don't know, get away
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  from your friends. And events are one thing,
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  but this can go in your day to day. Say you're
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  in an office setting and you have a lunch room.
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  Say hi to the person while you're getting your
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  coffee. Maybe it's an executive, maybe it's just
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  somebody in a different department, but put yourself
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  out there and get that exposure in order for
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  people to know who you are. Exposure is huge
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  and raising your hand in meetings, volunteering
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  for projects, maybe suggesting that you're be
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  part of a committee. It's just putting yourself
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  out there and getting that exposure. I think
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  the other piece of this that's so simple goes
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  back to one of the items in the whole Lean In
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  book, right? And that's about having a seat at
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  the table. And so often I have experienced this
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  throughout my entire career. And any woman, young
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  woman, especially on my team, know that I will
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  call them out for this. You go into a conference
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  room, there's seats at the table, there's seats
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  in the back. Women tend to just go grab the seat
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  in the back, sit at the fricking table. It's
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  pretty easy. Stealing that one from Linen, but
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  I think that is so true. There's a lot of validity
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  to that. So you want the opportunity, you got
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  to step up. And that includes talking to people,
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  putting yourself out there, raising your hand
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  for the project, and just being comfortable with
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  being uncomfortable. Action item for this week.
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  Pick one opportunity you've been hesitating on
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  and say yes. Speak up in a meeting, apply for
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  the thing, volunteer for the project, raise your
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  hand. And number three that Kim talked about
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  is empathy for others. Every woman is carrying
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  something you don't see. So assume positive intent.
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  Offer grace before judgment. Look, we all have
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  our stuff. Could be dealing with aging parents,
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  kids, spouses, even a sick animal. We don't know
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  what's going on with people, so sometimes just
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  give them the benefit of the doubt. It's not
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  always about you. If you're really struggling
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  and you continue to struggle with the same person,
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  then talk to them. See if they're OK. Maybe they
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  just need someone to acknowledge the fact that
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  they're struggling. You have to show up for others
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  and you have to be supportive. I saw this great
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  quote that I wanted to share. Kindness isn't
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  just an action, it's a ripple effect. Every small
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  act creates waves of positivity on ways you might
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  never see. And that's so true. You know how we
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  talk about like the random acts of kindness and
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  doing the good deeds and, you know, buying somebody
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  a coffee at Starbucks that's behind you. That's
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  awesome. And we should continue those types of
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  opportunities. But think about how you can do
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  that in your day. It's very little things of
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  just sometimes checking in with somebody or asking
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  them how they are doing. You do see that they're
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  struggling. And again, sometimes you have to
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  just assume that people have positive intent.
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  And if they don't, then have the conversation
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  with them. So action item today, if you feel
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  the urge to critique another woman, pause and
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  find one thing to affirm instead. And if you
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  know that you're dealing with somebody who is
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  struggling, reach out. Just check in with them.
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  See if they are OK. Just offer any support that
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  you can. So we have our three action items. Number
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  one, today, intentionally recommend or advocate
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  for a woman when she's not in the room, whether
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  it's a project, a panel, or promotion. Number
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  two, get. outside of your comfort zone. Raise
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  your hand, volunteer, sit at the table, talk
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  to somebody new, network outside of your circle,
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  but put yourself out there. And thirdly, if you're
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  feeling the urge to critique another woman, pause
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  and find one thing to affirm instead. And if
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  you know she's struggling, check in with her
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  and have an authentic conversation. Thanks for
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  tuning in to this quick lift. If you haven't
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  listened to Kim's episode, go check out episode
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  number two now. If this sparked something in
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  you, please don't keep it to yourself. Share
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  it with the women in your circle. Subscribe,
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  leave review, and keep coming back for more lifts
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  and bold moves. Until next time, keep rising
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  and keep lifting.