Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / 404. Pregnancy and TWIN announcement: TWO new beans

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404. Pregnancy and TWIN announcement: TWO new beans · Do You F*cking Mind?

0:10
Speaker 1: Hello, my beautiful beans, and welcome to a slightly different
0:14
Speaker 1: addition to this podcast, because it is a longer version
0:18
Speaker 1: of a life update, probably one of the biggest life
0:21
Speaker 1: updates I will or I have had thus far. I
0:25
Speaker 1: can't imagine like a bigger update than this. But I
0:28
Speaker 1: am pregnant with twins, so I thought i'd do an
0:33
Speaker 1: episode talking about basically the whole fucking journey the story.
0:38
Speaker 1: I did a little question box because I'm like, if
0:40
Speaker 1: you guys want to like ask specific questions around the pregnancy,
0:43
Speaker 1: and there's like heaps of repeated ones, which is great,
0:45
Speaker 1: so everyone's kind of on the same wavelength with their questions.
0:48
Speaker 1: But I thought i'd take you on the journey with me,
0:50
Speaker 1: explain a bit about the pregnancy, and along the way,
0:53
Speaker 1: I also want to explain some fun twin facts as well,
0:56
Speaker 1: because I've been doing like quite a bit of research
0:59
Speaker 1: into twins, as you can imagine. So let's get a
1:02
Speaker 1: couple of Macha settled down and dovin for the journey
1:07
Speaker 1: of Alexis's pregnancy. So I want to take you. I
1:12
Speaker 1: want to make it like a chronological story because I
1:14
Speaker 1: fucking love to tell the stories. So we're going to
1:16
Speaker 1: start from two years ago where Tyrone and I basically
1:20
Speaker 1: were having the discussion of like kids and I like
1:22
Speaker 1: we always knew that we both we both wanted kids,
1:25
Speaker 1: but Tyrone definitely more so than me. Not in the
1:27
Speaker 1: sense like I've always wanted kids, but I always sat
1:31
Speaker 1: with this idea that I know that I could have
1:34
Speaker 1: a brilliant life without children as well. So I was
1:37
Speaker 1: while I wanted kids, I'm not maternal, never craved having babies,
1:41
Speaker 1: but I always wanted a family. And I think I've
1:43
Speaker 1: said that before on the podcast, like I've always wanted
1:46
Speaker 1: an older family, like older kids, and then this big
1:49
Speaker 1: family because I have a nice, like beautiful, connected family,
1:52
Speaker 1: and I wanted to continue that on. But the thought
1:55
Speaker 1: of being a mother to a baby that never tempted
1:58
Speaker 1: me like it does for other people. Like it was
2:00
Speaker 1: like this instinct in me, and it still isn't to
2:02
Speaker 1: the extent that even like babies around me, I'm not
2:05
Speaker 1: the first to reach over and grab the baby. I'm
2:07
Speaker 1: not maternal. That's just how it is. Do I care
2:09
Speaker 1: for the baby, of course they do? Do I love it?
2:10
Speaker 1: Do I think it's cute? Yes, I just don't instinctively
2:14
Speaker 1: have to hold people's babies all the time. I'm quite
2:16
Speaker 1: awkward with them. They always cry in my hands. Babies
2:18
Speaker 1: are like who's this? Can't like get this woman away
2:21
Speaker 1: from me. It's that kind of energy and that's just
2:23
Speaker 1: how I am. And my mom always said that she
2:25
Speaker 1: was kind of the same in that sense that she
2:28
Speaker 1: was never really maternal, but then when my sister came along,
2:31
Speaker 1: and then when I came along, everything like changed for
2:33
Speaker 1: her and she really enjoyed motherhood like more than she'd
2:35
Speaker 1: ever imagined anyway. So Tyrone definitely wanted kids and I
2:40
Speaker 1: was like, great, Oh, like Keen, that's amazing. So then
2:43
Speaker 1: about two years ago we had the discussion, if we're like,
2:46
Speaker 1: all right, well, you know, we really enjoy our life.
2:49
Speaker 1: I don't know if we're ever going to be ready ready,
2:51
Speaker 1: So why don't we just start kind of like you know,
2:54
Speaker 1: not using protection and just see how we go and
2:57
Speaker 1: like keep it casual basically. And that went on for
3:00
Speaker 1: about a year, and then after about a year we
3:02
Speaker 1: were like, oh, we actually had that conversation about a
3:05
Speaker 1: year ago, Like we weren't heavily tracking it, we weren't
3:08
Speaker 1: really thinking long and hard about it, so it didn't
3:10
Speaker 1: really phase us in that year. But then after a year,
3:12
Speaker 1: we were like, it's been a year and nothing's happened. No, nothing, nothing.
3:18
Speaker 1: My period is fucking clockwork regular. So I was like,
3:22
Speaker 1: maybe we need to really track my ovulation in my
3:25
Speaker 1: period days and really like try now and see because
3:29
Speaker 1: we don't really know what our fertility is like. And
3:31
Speaker 1: I just I was talking to my friend about this.
3:33
Speaker 1: I find it so funny when you were trying to
3:36
Speaker 1: explain we're going to try to have a baby basically
3:38
Speaker 1: like we are raw dogging it now, we're row dogging
3:41
Speaker 1: it in order to try for a child. But anyway,
3:44
Speaker 1: that's fucking what's happening. So for another year we were
3:49
Speaker 1: tracking it. We were working around my ovulation and look,
3:53
Speaker 1: to be honest, I never got an ovulation kid. I
3:55
Speaker 1: wasn't doing much of that at all. But we were
3:56
Speaker 1: just like, Okay, one year without like really tracking, then
4:00
Speaker 1: another year where we are actually tracking. It's been two
4:03
Speaker 1: years where we've regularly been banging, regularly been banging and
4:09
Speaker 1: like good times, but nothing, nothing right. So then I
4:14
Speaker 1: went and got my blood test for the first time ever.
4:16
Speaker 1: I'm thirty five years old, so I'd never really even
4:19
Speaker 1: tested my AMH levels. Nothing, So I went and got
4:21
Speaker 1: a blood test. It came back, and which is I
4:24
Speaker 1: feel like it's the first level. It's like the most
4:27
Speaker 1: entry level way of testing kind of getting an idea
4:30
Speaker 1: of your fertility. But obviously you're going to need much
4:33
Speaker 1: deeper tests to get a much more comprehensive understanding of
4:36
Speaker 1: your fertility. And I'm aware of that, but that was
4:38
Speaker 1: like the first step. So I went, I got my
4:39
Speaker 1: blood's done, Tyron got tested as well. Tyron came back
4:42
Speaker 1: as normal. I came back as normal for my age,
4:45
Speaker 1: but on the lower end, but still in the normal
4:48
Speaker 1: range for AMH levels. And so then we're like all right,
4:53
Speaker 1: end of last year, we thought, let's just like we
4:57
Speaker 1: discussed it in depth, the two of us, and we thought,
4:59
Speaker 1: let's book an appointment with a fertility specialist and look
5:02
Speaker 1: at our options. What is this going to look like?
5:05
Speaker 1: Is it? Are we just not compatible? Like? What is
5:07
Speaker 1: it like? And I didn't note, Like I love to
5:10
Speaker 1: study things. I love to go in depth food things,
5:12
Speaker 1: but one thing that I did not know that much
5:14
Speaker 1: about is around fertility and you know, compatibility and any
5:20
Speaker 1: of that, right, I was just not well versed on that.
5:22
Speaker 1: Still am not, and so we were like, let's speak
5:25
Speaker 1: to to a fertility expert and kind of see what
5:29
Speaker 1: our options are. And one thing that Tyrone and I
5:32
Speaker 1: both agreed between the two of us was that if
5:36
Speaker 1: it turned out that we were going to have major
5:40
Speaker 1: fertility issues, we were not going to go down the
5:43
Speaker 1: path of repeatedly doing IVF. We thought, if this is
5:49
Speaker 1: how it's going to be, we've already proven over the
5:51
Speaker 1: last four years that we have such a great time together.
5:55
Speaker 1: I personally was always always carried in me that I
6:00
Speaker 1: would be happy either way. I never had a burning
6:03
Speaker 1: design that I had to have children. I just wanted
6:05
Speaker 1: a family later. But ultimately I just knew that the
6:10
Speaker 1: idea of for child free life also tempted me. I
6:13
Speaker 1: was almost at a crossroad where I'm like, I'd love
6:15
Speaker 1: the family now, but at the same time, the thought
6:17
Speaker 1: of having a child free life just bring so many
6:21
Speaker 1: things that aligns with the kind of person that I am.
6:23
Speaker 1: Like I look at women with a child free life
6:25
Speaker 1: and I'm like, yes, yes, yes, like awesome. So for
6:30
Speaker 1: me personally, I felt very at peace with that. But
6:34
Speaker 1: I was really happy that this specific decision came from
6:37
Speaker 1: Tyrone he's the one that brought it up. Because I
6:39
Speaker 1: also didn't want to be like, oh, I'm pushing for
6:42
Speaker 1: us to be like, oh whatever, if we can't fel pregnant,
6:44
Speaker 1: we can't feel pregnant. I also wanted to give it
6:45
Speaker 1: a red hot go for the sake of us. But
6:48
Speaker 1: he's the one that said that, and so I was like,
6:51
Speaker 1: I feel really good that we're both very much on
6:53
Speaker 1: the same page, which is just so important for these
6:56
Speaker 1: major decisions in a relationship. So I was like, Okay, good,
6:59
Speaker 1: I feel really good about this decision. You know, let's
7:03
Speaker 1: just go to this. Let's just do this appointment and
7:05
Speaker 1: see what comes about. Okay. So the appointment was booked
7:09
Speaker 1: for like I think it was like the twentieth or
7:11
Speaker 1: the nineteenth. Now, it would have been the twentieth of January.
7:14
Speaker 1: That's when the appointment was booked, which was I think
7:16
Speaker 1: a Monday anyway, So we booked like a month and
7:21
Speaker 1: a bit in advance for that appointment. Then we it's Christmas,
7:25
Speaker 1: it's New Year's. My lifestyle around Christmas and New Years,
7:29
Speaker 1: I'm barely working. I'm barely doing any work at all.
7:31
Speaker 1: I've got so many things socially, I am eating copious
7:35
Speaker 1: amounts of all kinds of food. This is my month
7:37
Speaker 1: where I still exercise. I exercised throughout, but probably less
7:41
Speaker 1: so really as far as like my regular habits go.
7:44
Speaker 1: It's kind of all over the place and in a
7:46
Speaker 1: great way. I love it. I live. I fucking live
7:48
Speaker 1: for that month, but like I was still exercising, not
7:51
Speaker 1: as much, eating a lot, drinking more than normal, having
7:55
Speaker 1: a fucking ball. Okay. Then early jan around like twelfth
7:59
Speaker 1: of Jen and we went to the Australian Open with
8:01
Speaker 1: my entire family. We're down at the Open and I
8:04
Speaker 1: have like packed tampons because I'm like, my periods drew
8:08
Speaker 1: in like a day. And then after a couple of
8:11
Speaker 1: days being there, because I was so distracted with how
8:12
Speaker 1: much fun we're having, I'm like, oh, my period's a
8:14
Speaker 1: bit late. It's like the thirty one day mark. And
8:17
Speaker 1: my period never ever ever goes past thirty one days.
8:20
Speaker 1: If I look at my period tracker for the last
8:21
Speaker 1: three years, the longest it's ever been the cycle is
8:25
Speaker 1: thirty one days. That is the longest, but it's normally
8:27
Speaker 1: twenty eight twenty nine days to a team. So I
8:31
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, but my lifestyle in the last month,
8:34
Speaker 1: and the last two times that my cycle's been longer
8:36
Speaker 1: has been around like December jan So maybe it's got
8:39
Speaker 1: to do with like my drinking and my eating and whatever.
8:42
Speaker 1: Then it got to thirty two days and I'm like interesting.
8:45
Speaker 1: Then it got to thirty three days, and I was like,
8:47
Speaker 1: could I Could I be pregnant? Because I remember talking
8:53
Speaker 1: to Live, my best friend, if you guys don't know,
8:55
Speaker 1: and Live told me that she knew straight away. She
8:58
Speaker 1: knew that she was pregnant before she missed a period.
9:00
Speaker 1: She took a pregnancy test, it came back negative, and
9:02
Speaker 1: she's like, nah, took another one the following day and
9:05
Speaker 1: it came back positive. She felt it in her body.
9:07
Speaker 1: She knew. I'm not like that. I'm not that insue
9:09
Speaker 1: with my body. There are some women that fascinate with
9:12
Speaker 1: how aligned and in tune they up. That ain't me.
9:15
Speaker 1: So I was like, I don't feel any different. I
9:18
Speaker 1: feel everything's the same, boots for the same, everything is
9:20
Speaker 1: the same. I feel nothing different. But it's fucking thirty
9:24
Speaker 1: three days and it's never been that long. We got
9:27
Speaker 1: back from the AO on the Friday, and it was
9:32
Speaker 1: the seventeenth. I remember Friday, seventeenth of January, and her
9:36
Speaker 1: bib was at my office because my assistant Shani had
9:38
Speaker 1: been looking after him. So then I went and picked
9:41
Speaker 1: up her bib and I knew that I had a
9:42
Speaker 1: spare pregnancy test at the office, and I'm like, I'll
9:44
Speaker 1: just quickly pump out a test. Because I also didn't
9:47
Speaker 1: want to tell Tyrone that I was doing the test
9:48
Speaker 1: because I didn't want to like get his hopes up
9:50
Speaker 1: and then like bring them back down, if that makes sense.
9:54
Speaker 1: I was like, I'll just do the test. It's like nothing,
9:56
Speaker 1: it be negative. But whatever came to the office, did
9:58
Speaker 1: the test and there was a faint second line straight away,
10:02
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my god. So the first
10:04
Speaker 1: one to find out that I was pregnant was Habib.
10:06
Speaker 1: I was telling him he's wagging his tail, but probably
10:08
Speaker 1: didn't know what was going on anyway. Then I get
10:11
Speaker 1: home and I was like, oh my fucking god, how
10:12
Speaker 1: am I going to tell Tyrone? And I went to
10:14
Speaker 1: tell him straight away, but he's like, all right, I'm
10:16
Speaker 1: going to like organize the shit. I've gotta go here,
10:17
Speaker 1: I've got to go and he's out the door and
10:19
Speaker 1: I was like, all right, maybe I'll wait till this
10:21
Speaker 1: evening when he's settled on the couch, so he's like, Calma,
10:24
Speaker 1: and I can tell him. So I was like I
10:26
Speaker 1: was biting my tongue, like waiting, and you know, he's
10:28
Speaker 1: like having a shower, preparing food, and I'm liked, just
10:31
Speaker 1: say it. Then he's finally sitting on the couch and
10:33
Speaker 1: then I walk over and I like mute the tea
10:35
Speaker 1: and I'm like, all right, close your eyes. I've got
10:36
Speaker 1: like I've got a surprise for you. And then yeah,
10:39
Speaker 1: closed his eyes. Then I was like open and I'm
10:41
Speaker 1: holding out the pregnancy test. And he was like, oh
10:43
Speaker 1: my god. He was shocked. He was so happy. And
10:46
Speaker 1: I was like, look, it's fucking early days, so let's
10:49
Speaker 1: just see what happens. Let's just we We decided that
10:52
Speaker 1: we were just going to keep it between the two
10:54
Speaker 1: of us for a while and just see what happens.
10:58
Speaker 1: And it was so funny because he was like, I
11:00
Speaker 1: have not slept for three nights after I told him,
11:05
Speaker 1: because it was like I'm already planning and I'm thinking,
11:07
Speaker 1: and I'm like trying to sort shit out business wise,
11:09
Speaker 1: and we've got to move now because we need a
11:11
Speaker 1: bigger place because Turun and I live in a one
11:13
Speaker 1: bedroom apartment, which is like the love of our life,
11:15
Speaker 1: this apartment, but we have to move, especially now that
11:18
Speaker 1: it's twinslaw. And so we were like okay, and he
11:21
Speaker 1: was like, I you know, it's all hit me. It's
11:23
Speaker 1: a reality. It's this is that He's like, have you
11:25
Speaker 1: felt that way? And I was like, do you know
11:28
Speaker 1: what I actually think? And this is no shade on
11:30
Speaker 1: a lot of men, but I actually think that women
11:34
Speaker 1: in general are very aware of what it takes. What like,
11:39
Speaker 1: they have a very good idea of what it takes
11:42
Speaker 1: to have a child, even if they haven't experienced it.
11:44
Speaker 1: We've witnessed it, and we are hyper aware of other
11:47
Speaker 1: women and their journeys and their experiences. So I'm like,
11:50
Speaker 1: I'm not having a freak out moment, like, oh my god,
11:52
Speaker 1: it's just occurred to me that I'm going to have
11:53
Speaker 1: I'm going to be responsible for another because I've been
11:55
Speaker 1: aware of that my entire fucking life. And while we've
11:57
Speaker 1: been discussing pregnancy over the last two years, I've been thinking,
12:01
Speaker 1: is this the month that then things are going to change?
12:03
Speaker 1: And then so I think women in general, I don't
12:07
Speaker 1: want to make banking statements, but I'm going to make
12:08
Speaker 1: a blanket statement. Are already mentally prepped for the load
12:12
Speaker 1: that's to come, even if they haven't yet experienced it.
12:15
Speaker 1: They're like, they get it to a degree without actually
12:19
Speaker 1: being able to prepare for something you've never experienced. And
12:21
Speaker 1: I think for him it only hit him, and for
12:23
Speaker 1: a lot of guys men, it only hits them when
12:27
Speaker 1: they find out that their partner is pregnant and they're like, fuck, fuck, fuck,
12:32
Speaker 1: now shit's gonna change. That's my theory. I could be
12:34
Speaker 1: so wrong, but that's how I think what was happening
12:36
Speaker 1: with us, And so it kind of hit him. He
12:38
Speaker 1: wasn't sleeping for a couple of days, but then it
12:40
Speaker 1: kind of eased off. He was so excited. Everything was great.
12:42
Speaker 1: We call the fertility specialist and we're like, loll took
12:45
Speaker 1: the pregnantc cy testam actually pregnant. On the day of
12:47
Speaker 1: the appointment, she's like, oh my god, that's anacing. Well,
12:49
Speaker 1: let's just move your appointment to a obstetrics appointment and
12:54
Speaker 1: we will see you at week ten roughly, like they
12:57
Speaker 1: booked in a day. Week ten. They're like, we're going
12:59
Speaker 1: to send you stuff that you can do, like bloods
13:00
Speaker 1: and all this shit. It's going to be sent to us,
13:02
Speaker 1: but we don't need to see you until week ten.
13:04
Speaker 1: I'm like, great. So we went to the GP. Everything
13:07
Speaker 1: got confirmed with the blood test, I got like some
13:09
Speaker 1: genetic screening, just like the basic one that screens for
13:12
Speaker 1: five things, did all of that, and we are just
13:15
Speaker 1: cruising along. Like when I tell you cruising along, I'm
13:18
Speaker 1: telling you that we didn't go and book our first
13:21
Speaker 1: scan until week ten, right, because that's just I'm so
13:26
Speaker 1: fucking I don't get it. Like, even though we'd been
13:29
Speaker 1: trying for two years, even when we fell pregnant, I'm like,
13:31
Speaker 1: oh my god, that's so exciting. And then I'm just
13:35
Speaker 1: like resumed back to normal life. Right anyway, So then
13:39
Speaker 1: the obstetrician calls and was like, look, we haven't received
13:44
Speaker 1: your dating scan results yet. And he called on a
13:47
Speaker 1: Friday and he's like, and we've got the appointment on Monday.
13:50
Speaker 1: So if you could squeeze in a dating scan before
13:52
Speaker 1: our appointment Monday afternoon, that'd be ideal because ideally you'd
13:55
Speaker 1: want your dating scam before week ten, but if not,
13:57
Speaker 1: you can get it next week and we can still
13:59
Speaker 1: have the appointment. And in my head, I'm like, oh, fuck, well,
14:02
Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm doing. This is my first pregnancy.
14:04
Speaker 1: I'm not fucking idea. I thought the dating scam was
14:06
Speaker 1: optional in case you just wanted to hear the heartbeat
14:08
Speaker 1: before ten Like, I had no idea. So I was like, no, no, no,
14:12
Speaker 1: I definitely want to get it before. So we've got
14:13
Speaker 1: something to talk about. So we managed to book one
14:16
Speaker 1: in Monday morning, Tarne and I roll in, Ahaha, it's
14:20
Speaker 1: all well and good mind you. Prior to this, this
14:23
Speaker 1: is Monday morning, was exactly ten weeks. Prior to this,
14:26
Speaker 1: I had only told We had only told our immediate
14:29
Speaker 1: like our family. Well when I say immediate, that also
14:31
Speaker 1: includes like my my cousins lol, but we had told
14:36
Speaker 1: everyone from kind of week eight onwards. We told our
14:39
Speaker 1: immediate families and also my cousins. So I hadn't even
14:42
Speaker 1: told friends yet. Anyway, So we're going for this appointment
14:46
Speaker 1: and the lady was like the sonographer, She said, is
14:50
Speaker 1: this your first scan? And I'm like, yeah, and first ever.
14:52
Speaker 1: I've never been pregnant before. It's you know, we're calculating
14:55
Speaker 1: it's week ten and we're going in for the and
14:57
Speaker 1: she's like, okay, amazing, that's great. So we like we
15:00
Speaker 1: lie down. She's talking me through the whole procedure. She's like,
15:02
Speaker 1: you know, gotta put gel on this thing and whatever.
15:05
Speaker 1: I'm lying down. Tyrone sitting next to me and we're
15:08
Speaker 1: looking up at a screen and then the sonographers to
15:10
Speaker 1: the right of me, and she's looking at her screen.
15:13
Speaker 1: So she puts the gel on and she puts the
15:15
Speaker 1: like fuck and whatever it's called on my abdomen, and
15:19
Speaker 1: I'm looking at the screen and straight when I tell
15:22
Speaker 1: you straight away, bang, there's two beans there on the screen.
15:28
Speaker 1: And in my head like this probably took all of
15:31
Speaker 1: three seconds max. Before before the sonographer said anything. But
15:35
Speaker 1: I'm telling you it was the quickest and shortest three
15:38
Speaker 1: seconds of my life. I don't know how to explain it.
15:40
Speaker 1: In my head, I'm like a thousand thoughts went through.
15:43
Speaker 1: I'm like, what the fuck am I looking at? I
15:45
Speaker 1: don't even know what am I looking at? And I
15:49
Speaker 1: could see two one on top of the other. In
15:53
Speaker 1: my head, I'm like, is this you know how ultrasounds
15:56
Speaker 1: have a weird I'm like, is this a duplicate screen?
15:59
Speaker 1: And she got it in the middle of it was
16:00
Speaker 1: bang in the middle as well. So I'm like, they
16:02
Speaker 1: look exactly this, and I'm like, no, surely not, is it?
16:05
Speaker 1: Could it? No, there's no way. She then pauses the thing,
16:07
Speaker 1: she clicks the thing, and she was like, right, so
16:10
Speaker 1: you guys are having twins. I nearly died. I was like,
16:13
Speaker 1: oh my god, because earlier that morning Tyrone said to me,
16:19
Speaker 1: He's like, oh my Firstly, my sister about a week
16:22
Speaker 1: ago was like, I just can you imagine if it
16:23
Speaker 1: was twins, and she kind of sent me predicted it.
16:25
Speaker 1: Then Tyrone that morning said, imagine if it's twins, but
16:29
Speaker 1: not so much like do you think it's twins, more
16:32
Speaker 1: so in the sense of like, lol, imagine the hypothetical
16:34
Speaker 1: if it was twins, which you imagine in that scenario,
16:37
Speaker 1: but you never really think is it actually twins? Well
16:40
Speaker 1: I didn't. I know some people possibly do, but I didn't.
16:45
Speaker 1: So I was like, that is fucking crazy that you
16:46
Speaker 1: said that this morning, And I made a joke being
16:49
Speaker 1: like aha, haa. Ifit's twins, then you're shouting my tummy talk.
16:52
Speaker 1: If I fucking blow out making a joke about it,
16:55
Speaker 1: then I'm like, oh my god, this is crazy. And
16:58
Speaker 1: then I look over at Tyrone and he's speechless. I've
17:01
Speaker 1: never seen his eyeballs so like his eyelids were so
17:05
Speaker 1: he was just like shocked, shocked, shocked. I don't think
17:07
Speaker 1: he uttered a word for a good minute. He was like,
17:09
Speaker 1: oh God, like just staring at that screen. We just
17:14
Speaker 1: couldn't believe it. And the woman she was like to Tyrone,
17:18
Speaker 1: she was like, don't worry, you're doing really well. A
17:20
Speaker 1: lot of husbands faint and I'm like, I would slap
17:23
Speaker 1: you if you fainted. I'm the one that's going to
17:25
Speaker 1: fucking carry them. But anyway, I don't know. The women
17:28
Speaker 1: don't fame, but the men do. Whatever. It was such
17:32
Speaker 1: a shock. She continued the scan. She was looking like,
17:35
Speaker 1: she like got the heartbeat, she like checked for a
17:37
Speaker 1: few things, their size, She got their size and they
17:41
Speaker 1: were tracking the same size, same heartbeat, everything, And we're like,
17:44
Speaker 1: are they identical? Are they non identical? She's like, I
17:46
Speaker 1: can't tell you that, but you're gonna see you're obstetrician
17:49
Speaker 1: this afternoon, and he will be able to tell you that.
17:52
Speaker 1: I reconsend you straight away. Because these people, the way
17:54
Speaker 1: they read the way they read ultrasounds is unbelievable. Anyone
17:57
Speaker 1: have been listening. Who does this for a job? Incredible?
18:02
Speaker 1: I was like, how the fuck. She's like see that
18:04
Speaker 1: and see this and it and I'm like, no, I
18:06
Speaker 1: don't know what you're talking about like that. It's unbelievable.
18:08
Speaker 1: So she would have known, but I'm guessing it's not.
18:12
Speaker 1: She's probably not. There's probably some barrier of what it
18:14
Speaker 1: is that they can say and what it is that
18:15
Speaker 1: they can't. I would imagine, but there's for sure she
18:18
Speaker 1: would have known by them. Anyway, we leave in a daze.
18:22
Speaker 1: We walk out. I'm calling my sister on repeat. She's
18:25
Speaker 1: not answering. I'm like, tear. He called Stephanie, not answering
18:28
Speaker 1: her phone on the first three rings. Call my parents
18:31
Speaker 1: and I'm like they live in Brisbane and I was like, ah,
18:34
Speaker 1: what are you guys doing? And they're like, oh, how
18:36
Speaker 1: was the appointment? We've just gone for a walk into
18:38
Speaker 1: the city and we just sat down on this lovely bench.
18:41
Speaker 1: How was the scan? And I was like, well, I'm
18:44
Speaker 1: glad you're sitting down because the scan went great. It's
18:49
Speaker 1: twins and they were screaming, cheering, so excited like they
18:54
Speaker 1: were just couldn't believe it. Anyway, Yeah, they were pumped.
18:58
Speaker 1: Then my sister finally calls back and I tell her,
19:00
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's twins, like you literally predicted this, and
19:03
Speaker 1: she was like, oh my god, I can't believe that.
19:05
Speaker 1: This is so amazing. Then we tell Tyrone's sister and
19:07
Speaker 1: she did not believe us. We showed her the photo
19:10
Speaker 1: of the scan and she was like, no, no, no, no,
19:12
Speaker 1: like you found that photo. You found that photo in
19:14
Speaker 1: the inter Like she just couldn't wrap her head around
19:16
Speaker 1: it because she's always thought that twins are like the
19:18
Speaker 1: best thing ever. She was like, I would have loved
19:19
Speaker 1: to have twins, like it's just such a cool you know.
19:21
Speaker 1: So she was just like I couldn't believe it. Over
19:24
Speaker 1: the moon. Then we had lunch with Tyrone's parents and
19:26
Speaker 1: we told them. They were shocked, like everyone was just
19:30
Speaker 1: so excited they couldn't believe it. And then yeah, then
19:35
Speaker 1: it was the process of telling all my friends not
19:37
Speaker 1: only that I was pregnant, but then I'd show them
19:39
Speaker 1: the actual, the fucking ultrasound photo like the three D
19:44
Speaker 1: one and they actually looked like two little jelly babies,
19:47
Speaker 1: and I was showing them the jelly babies and all
19:49
Speaker 1: of that. Anyway, But so on the Monday, we then
19:51
Speaker 1: went to see the obstitution and he was like, how
19:53
Speaker 1: are you feeling. I would have I'd normally call you,
19:56
Speaker 1: but because I was seeing you just three hours later,
19:58
Speaker 1: I thought I'll just wait and talk to you. But
20:00
Speaker 1: how are you feeling? And We're like, oh my god,
20:02
Speaker 1: so overwhelmed. We're so confused, like we don't have twins
20:05
Speaker 1: in our family. We don't like this is so with
20:07
Speaker 1: neither Tyrone or I have any twins in our family.
20:10
Speaker 1: And he was like, yet, no, they're identical twins. So
20:14
Speaker 1: that we're like, what, how do you know that they're
20:16
Speaker 1: identical and what does this mean? He was like, they're
20:19
Speaker 1: identical because they share a placenter, and if they share
20:23
Speaker 1: a placenta, then they're definitely identical. If they don't share
20:26
Speaker 1: a placenter, they could be identical but also non identical.
20:30
Speaker 1: And I'm going to go into the facts about twins
20:32
Speaker 1: after this. So straight away we knew and I was like,
20:36
Speaker 1: this is unbelievable. He's like, your due date by the
20:39
Speaker 1: forty week mark is the twenty second of September. However,
20:43
Speaker 1: with twins kind of. Most twins come around thirty six
20:47
Speaker 1: thirty seven weeks, so we're looking at the end of
20:48
Speaker 1: August start of September is most likely to be when
20:52
Speaker 1: they are born. And yeah, so basically we have to
20:58
Speaker 1: have as off next week we have as of week
21:00
Speaker 1: sixteen because I'm fifteen weeks now. Monday will be sixteen weeks,
21:05
Speaker 1: and we've got to have a scan every two weeks
21:09
Speaker 1: until birth. Crazy a scan every two weeks I think
21:13
Speaker 1: Live said she had four scans in total. I'm already
21:15
Speaker 1: up to my fourth scan, which is insane. So every
21:18
Speaker 1: second week with twins, because twins are considered a high
21:20
Speaker 1: risk pregnancy. Even if everything's going smoothly, just the fact
21:23
Speaker 1: that it's two of them and all the other things
21:26
Speaker 1: more taxing on the body, it's just deemed a high
21:28
Speaker 1: risk pregnancy. So we could go in every two weeks
21:31
Speaker 1: for a scan, which is cute because you get to
21:32
Speaker 1: sit it and bounce around. And we've decided so going
21:37
Speaker 1: by some of your questions, I can actually start answering
21:39
Speaker 1: some of your questions. Yes, they are identical. We've decided
21:43
Speaker 1: that we are not going to find out the gender,
21:49
Speaker 1: and everyone thinks I'm well, not everyone, but a lot
21:51
Speaker 1: of people that I've told think that is insane that
21:55
Speaker 1: not only do I have a big enough surprise of
21:56
Speaker 1: it the twins, but I just wanted it to be
21:58
Speaker 1: like an even bigger surper and just not know the gender.
22:02
Speaker 1: Being identical twins, it's either two boys or two girls.
22:06
Speaker 1: It's not going to be a boy and a girl.
22:07
Speaker 1: It's going to be the same because identical twins share
22:10
Speaker 1: one hundred of the DNA. I'm going to explain the
22:13
Speaker 1: difference between fraternal and identical soon, but let's go through
22:17
Speaker 1: some of your questions. So someone says, so a lot
22:24
Speaker 1: of questions were do twins run in the family? So
22:27
Speaker 1: this is what I now I can start to answer
22:29
Speaker 1: a bit about like the genetics of it. So only
22:32
Speaker 1: fraternal twins, which are die zygotic twins where there's two
22:37
Speaker 1: zygots are what is passed down like hereditary. Okay, so
22:45
Speaker 1: only non identical twins are what where you can carry
22:48
Speaker 1: a gene for that and the gene basically is one
22:51
Speaker 1: that makes you more likely to release two eggs in
22:54
Speaker 1: a cycle. Okay, that is what causes non identical twins.
22:59
Speaker 1: It's two separate eggs that get released in that same
23:02
Speaker 1: cycle instead of one, and then, of course, because you've
23:05
Speaker 1: got like millions of sperm coming in, both those eggs
23:08
Speaker 1: get fertilized. Not always, but in this scenario, if you've
23:10
Speaker 1: dropped two eggs and if everything aligned, both the eggs
23:14
Speaker 1: get fertilized, you have fraternal twins, that is, non identical twins.
23:19
Speaker 1: And those twins, fraternal twins, they carry the same they
23:25
Speaker 1: share the same DNA as regular siblings that are born
23:28
Speaker 1: years apart, so it's around fifty percent of the DNA,
23:31
Speaker 1: so they're not closer DNA wise than regular siblings. They
23:35
Speaker 1: just share a womb at the same time. But it's
23:37
Speaker 1: two separate eggs, two separate sperm, and they're just being
23:42
Speaker 1: you know, it's all happening at the same time identical twins.
23:46
Speaker 1: And also with fraternal twins, the chances of having fraternal
23:51
Speaker 1: twins non identical twins goes up the older you get.
23:55
Speaker 1: And the reason for that is because as you get older,
23:59
Speaker 1: you're more likely to release two eggs or more than
24:03
Speaker 1: one egg in a cycle versus when you're younger, so
24:06
Speaker 1: that also increases it. So age is a factor, and
24:09
Speaker 1: you know, genetics can be a factor as well for
24:13
Speaker 1: non identical twins. When it comes to identical twins, genetics
24:17
Speaker 1: does not play a role. Age apparently does not play
24:20
Speaker 1: a role either for identical twins. So what we're looking
24:24
Speaker 1: at is a spontaneous event. One egg, one sperm, fertilizers,
24:29
Speaker 1: and in the early stages, like the first couple of
24:31
Speaker 1: weeks after fertilization, so before you even know you're pregnant.
24:35
Speaker 1: For a lot of people, it splits in half. So
24:39
Speaker 1: these guys share one hundred DNA. It's they're the same.
24:44
Speaker 1: That's why you're not going to get one female one male.
24:48
Speaker 1: It's going to be the same too female to male
24:51
Speaker 1: for like, that's just how it is. Okay, So that's
24:54
Speaker 1: called monozygotic twins. One's I got one egg versus dies
24:59
Speaker 1: I got where it's two eggs. Okay, So as far
25:02
Speaker 1: as us thinking, but we don't have any twins in
25:05
Speaker 1: our family, it wouldn't have mattered either way because they're identical.
25:09
Speaker 1: That's got nothing to do with genetics. It's a spontaneous event.
25:12
Speaker 1: So they don't know why it occurs. But it is
25:15
Speaker 1: a spontaneous event, and they don't know what, like if
25:17
Speaker 1: something can cause it. The likelihood to be higher or not.
25:19
Speaker 1: As far as studies go at the moment, nothing that
25:22
Speaker 1: they know of causes the likelihood of that to be higher. Yes.
25:26
Speaker 1: So then someone else asked, did you suspect you're pregnant
25:28
Speaker 1: before taking the death No, which is so weird because
25:30
Speaker 1: I know a lot of a lot of people do.
25:33
Speaker 1: Someone said, do you think you'll relocate to a new
25:35
Speaker 1: city or suburb because of kids plus school and hubib No, No,
25:40
Speaker 1: definitely not. We're going to stay in so we live
25:43
Speaker 1: near the city. We will stay in the Wilhelmloo like
25:49
Speaker 1: kind of pots Point Daling coast area. One hundred percent
25:54
Speaker 1: for many reasons. But I would absolutely never move cities
25:58
Speaker 1: at this stage in my life. Everything like, my life
26:02
Speaker 1: is perfect as far as you know, like everything is aligned.
26:07
Speaker 1: My parents are moving to Sydney now that they found
26:09
Speaker 1: out that I'm pregnant. We've got Tyrone's family right there.
26:12
Speaker 1: My family is so close knit, They're all really close by.
26:16
Speaker 1: One thing that I can say that I am so lucky,
26:20
Speaker 1: genuinely fortunate to have is the community around me. One
26:27
Speaker 1: of the things that I think scared I don't want
26:30
Speaker 1: to say. I don't want to say the word scared.
26:32
Speaker 1: But one of the things that I was always like,
26:33
Speaker 1: oh my god, this would be so hard was how
26:36
Speaker 1: many women do it alone or close to being alone,
26:40
Speaker 1: and how hard that must be and all the extra
26:45
Speaker 1: challenges that present themselves when it's like just you, well,
26:47
Speaker 1: when your relatives or close friends are like you know,
26:50
Speaker 1: not just a phone call away, or not three doors
26:52
Speaker 1: down or you know. One thing that we have both
26:55
Speaker 1: on Tyrone's side and my side, is a crazy community
26:59
Speaker 1: and very very tight families that are there with support
27:03
Speaker 1: and with help all the time, and our friends. And
27:06
Speaker 1: so to move would be I think the most stupid
27:10
Speaker 1: decision of my life. I would never leave my community
27:14
Speaker 1: during this time. And also I wouldn't even change suburbs
27:18
Speaker 1: because I think one of the most important things postpartum
27:22
Speaker 1: around community is your friends. For your mind right, I
27:28
Speaker 1: need to have my friends nearby and see them regularly.
27:32
Speaker 1: Like one thing that I love about how live you
27:35
Speaker 1: know did her maternity leave year was that she stayed
27:39
Speaker 1: living in the same place and or like in the
27:42
Speaker 1: same area. She literally moved like three blocks down and
27:45
Speaker 1: we were still doing our morning coffee. She maintained and
27:48
Speaker 1: she would talk about how maintaining that sense of normality
27:51
Speaker 1: in her life where she'd still come to the morning
27:53
Speaker 1: coffees with Rex, She'd like still be doing all these
27:56
Speaker 1: things and like should come out for dinners and all
27:57
Speaker 1: of that. We still everything kind of the friendship. Bubble
28:01
Speaker 1: maintained that normality that she said that that really helped
28:04
Speaker 1: her psychologically through the whole thing. It was like this grounding,
28:08
Speaker 1: really nice thing. And so for me, I'm like, absolutely,
28:11
Speaker 1: I have to be around my friends. And I'm very
28:13
Speaker 1: lucky again, lucky that I live in a suburb where
28:16
Speaker 1: so many of my friends live in the same suburb
28:18
Speaker 1: or the suburb next, like just the suburb over. So no,
28:22
Speaker 1: we will not be leaving the area at all. The
28:25
Speaker 1: furthest we'd go is still just a couple of suburbs away.
28:28
Speaker 1: That's just the furthest we'd go. We do have to move, though,
28:31
Speaker 1: like I said, And it was funny because after we
28:33
Speaker 1: were talking about we were talking about, oh my god,
28:36
Speaker 1: we're going to need to move, but maybe when the
28:38
Speaker 1: baby comes we could still like do one like maybe
28:42
Speaker 1: a few months with the baby. Then we found out
28:43
Speaker 1: it was twins, and we're like, we don't even have
28:46
Speaker 1: storage for nappies, right, Like where were storage is out
28:52
Speaker 1: because like where we're going to put the prem can't
28:54
Speaker 1: like what so that where like we absolutely need to
28:58
Speaker 1: find a bigger place. So stay tuned on the journey
29:02
Speaker 1: of us moving to another place, maybe a two bedroom,
29:06
Speaker 1: maybe three we go all out, Nah, probably we'll see.
29:10
Speaker 1: Another question was how are you feeling about it all?
29:12
Speaker 1: A lot to process, I'm sure, but also so exciting.
29:15
Speaker 1: It is a lot to process. But the weird thing is,
29:17
Speaker 1: and I think the thing that's been the most surprising
29:20
Speaker 1: is that when we when Tyrone joked about, oh my god, imagine,
29:24
Speaker 1: imagine if it's twins, I was like, no, no, no, no, no,
29:27
Speaker 1: no no. I couldn't handle that. I think I'd have
29:30
Speaker 1: the meltdown. At no point since in the last five weeks,
29:34
Speaker 1: since you found out that it's twins, have I stressed remotely.
29:39
Speaker 1: I've been the calmest. Well, I'm pretty calm in general,
29:42
Speaker 1: but I've been so calm, so chilled about the whole thing.
29:46
Speaker 1: I just I'm like, we will cross all those bridges
29:49
Speaker 1: when we come to them. Anything like, I'm taking this
29:53
Speaker 1: so chilled, even my birthing plan. Whatever's going to get
29:57
Speaker 1: us all out of there safely is what I'm going
29:59
Speaker 1: with I'm not attaching myself to shit during this process,
30:03
Speaker 1: and because of that, I feel really good. I've had
30:07
Speaker 1: no stress, no anxiety, i feel very supported Tyrone's amazing,
30:11
Speaker 1: but also by my family, Tyrone's family, my friends. So
30:14
Speaker 1: i feel like I'm just too blessed to be stressed
30:18
Speaker 1: kind of thing, Like I found myself in a very fortunate, lucky,
30:21
Speaker 1: grateful place. And it's not to say that I'm not
30:26
Speaker 1: aware of the challenges that are going to present themselves
30:28
Speaker 1: by having two newborns at the same time, but I
30:33
Speaker 1: know that it's going to be hard stressing about it
30:35
Speaker 1: now and when it happens, what's that achieving? Like worse sleep?
30:43
Speaker 1: I don't know what that would achieve for me. It's like, yes,
30:45
Speaker 1: it's going to be a challenge, but also stressing out
30:47
Speaker 1: something that I've never experienced yet is futile because I'm
30:51
Speaker 1: probably not even stressing properly because I don't know what
30:53
Speaker 1: exactly to stress about because I've not experienced it. So
30:56
Speaker 1: why not just wait till it happens across that fucking
30:58
Speaker 1: bridge when we come to it. We're well suppor ow
31:01
Speaker 1: midwife and obstetrician amazing. The resources that they're like, just
31:05
Speaker 1: it's been epics. So I'm like, I feel really good
31:08
Speaker 1: and I feel like, I don't know, I just want
31:11
Speaker 1: it to be. I want to be like a healthy
31:13
Speaker 1: environment for the twins, and stress is just something I'm
31:16
Speaker 1: not gonna like. You know. Yeah, I know a lot
31:20
Speaker 1: of stress you can't control, but it's also one of
31:22
Speaker 1: those things that I'm very much like it will be
31:24
Speaker 1: what it will be. My language around it is very relaxed.
31:28
Speaker 1: Every time I talk about it. My language has been
31:30
Speaker 1: really relaxed, and that's helped me stay really like calm
31:35
Speaker 1: and happy about the whole thing. Yeah, I've just I
31:36
Speaker 1: don't know. I thought the thought of having more than
31:40
Speaker 1: one child inside me, I'm like, that would freak me out. No,
31:43
Speaker 1: it hasn't, And it's so that's the most surprising thing.
31:46
Speaker 1: How calm I have been. It's just, yeah, I'm impressed
31:52
Speaker 1: that I've not freaked out. How are you feeling. Are
31:57
Speaker 1: you nervous? Excited? Yeah, I'm very excited. Yeah, not nervous
32:02
Speaker 1: yet at least maybe maybe when it's like closer to
32:04
Speaker 1: the day and I'm like really huge about to pop,
32:06
Speaker 1: maybe the nerves are going to kick in then I
32:08
Speaker 1: feel like that would be pretty normal, but very excited.
32:12
Speaker 1: I feel really good. I've had almost no morning sickness.
32:15
Speaker 1: There were just two or three times where I was like,
32:18
Speaker 1: oh that like I can't smell food, that's gross. Literally
32:20
Speaker 1: just three occasions. Max I had mild morning sickness in
32:25
Speaker 1: the first trimester, and I would just hate a crumpet
32:28
Speaker 1: with like heaps of butter and honey. One crumpet would
32:32
Speaker 1: just cure all my problems. That was amazing. And then sleeping,
32:37
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Oh my fucking god. I remember the
32:41
Speaker 1: sonographer was like, you must be so tired with twins.
32:44
Speaker 1: It's like double the hormemone levels. I'm like, you know
32:47
Speaker 1: what I fucking am. I get home at four pm
32:49
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I want to be horizontal on the couch.
32:51
Speaker 1: Nobody talk to me until tomorrow morning, and I'd like
32:53
Speaker 1: lie on the couch until I'd crawl then into bed
32:56
Speaker 1: after that. And that went on for like four weeks,
32:58
Speaker 1: and I was like, is this going to be the
32:59
Speaker 1: whole pregnancy? But now week fifteen, I've got way more
33:02
Speaker 1: energy than I did before, going to the gym running lightly.
33:06
Speaker 1: I feel better now that the weather's cooling down. And
33:08
Speaker 1: feeling good running. But I tried to go and run
33:12
Speaker 1: a hot day and I'm like a boat, Like that
33:14
Speaker 1: was like fucked. So I just felt like I was
33:17
Speaker 1: made out of lead. Been doing Reformer polarates amazing, Matt
33:21
Speaker 1: PALLARTI is just whatever feels right for my body. But
33:23
Speaker 1: obviously I'm so out of breath so easily, so that's
33:27
Speaker 1: been interesting. But yeah, I feel I'm like a feel
33:32
Speaker 1: I've got a really like lucky pregnancy in that regard.
33:34
Speaker 1: I don't have many of the full on symptoms, so
33:38
Speaker 1: knock on wood. There's quite a few people in these
33:43
Speaker 1: things saying that they either have twins or they are
33:45
Speaker 1: a twin, and how amazing it is. I'm just loving
33:48
Speaker 1: how everyone's like, this is honestly such a great journey.
33:51
Speaker 1: The you're about to embark on the amount of like
33:53
Speaker 1: I've had like five twin mums say like, this is
33:57
Speaker 1: the funnest thing you're ever going to experience, and I
33:59
Speaker 1: think so too, Like you'll be full on, but they're
34:01
Speaker 1: also going to be each other's best friend. It'll be
34:02
Speaker 1: fucking cute. Um. And then someone said, are you excited
34:06
Speaker 1: to experience the neuroscience of pregnancy? Yes? I'm already going
34:08
Speaker 1: into I'm gonna do a brain factor on like baby brain,
34:11
Speaker 1: the fact that like does your brain shrink when you're
34:14
Speaker 1: pregnant and what does that actually mean? Like after the pregnancy,
34:17
Speaker 1: we're gonna be talking about all those things. Now we're
34:23
Speaker 1: going to talk. Oh, someone said, did you manifest twins?
34:25
Speaker 1: Well no, un less Tarran's joking was enough to manifest it.
34:30
Speaker 1: So funny. Someone said, what were your first symptoms after
34:35
Speaker 1: I found out I was pregnant? Saw boobs, saw boobs,
34:39
Speaker 1: itchy nipples and yeah, they're growing obviously if you've like
34:44
Speaker 1: seen my instagram, Like they're raging for my standards because
34:47
Speaker 1: I'm pretty flat chested, so they're like raging for Alexis standards.
34:51
Speaker 1: Saw itchy, fucking bloated, and don't even get me started
34:56
Speaker 1: on constipation. I'm okay at the moment. But it was
35:00
Speaker 1: so funny because as I started, like it was starting
35:02
Speaker 1: to show, and everyone's like, oh my god, Like my
35:04
Speaker 1: friends and family were like, oh my god, you're popping
35:07
Speaker 1: and they're like putting their hand on my tummy and
35:09
Speaker 1: I'm like, you are touching that's constipation that you're touching.
35:14
Speaker 1: That bulge is full of shit, that's pooh in there. Okay,
35:18
Speaker 1: I don't think it's the babies yet anyway, that's kind
35:21
Speaker 1: of now I don't know what's what because they're growing,
35:24
Speaker 1: so I've definitely got a bulge, a bump, whatever you
35:26
Speaker 1: want to call it. Someone said, what are you most
35:28
Speaker 1: scared slash nervous off about labor or pregnancy? So I'm
35:33
Speaker 1: still talking about my obstetrition around the likelihood of having
35:37
Speaker 1: a caesarean, just given that it's twins and that it's
35:40
Speaker 1: a like higher risk. Normally they say that the first
35:44
Speaker 1: twin is born okay, vaginally, but then often you'll have
35:50
Speaker 1: one born vaginally and then one born via an emergency
35:54
Speaker 1: cesarean if there's like any complications, And if that's the case,
35:57
Speaker 1: I'm like, just cut them both out. As if I'm
35:59
Speaker 1: going to go through both in one go. That's like
36:01
Speaker 1: not a fucking vibe for me at least, So I'm
36:05
Speaker 1: very open to playing it by ear. The other thing
36:09
Speaker 1: is that I can't really have a booked in caesarean
36:13
Speaker 1: at this point. We've got to gauge it and wait
36:16
Speaker 1: till we get closer to the day. Because one thing
36:18
Speaker 1: that they said is when it comes to twins, they
36:21
Speaker 1: can come anytime from week like thirty four onwards, and
36:26
Speaker 1: that's very common for them to come way earlier. So
36:30
Speaker 1: it's very much a gauget see how we go. That's
36:33
Speaker 1: why we're getting the scans every two weeks to kind
36:35
Speaker 1: of gauge their growth and are they growing at the
36:38
Speaker 1: same rate and all these different things that we've got
36:40
Speaker 1: to like really pay attention to that could determine will
36:43
Speaker 1: they actually have to come earlier for medical reasons or whatever.
36:46
Speaker 1: So we can't even say, oh, we've like booked in
36:48
Speaker 1: Ourcesariada and it's this day that's not going to happen
36:50
Speaker 1: until past week thirty. So yeah, I guess again, it's
36:58
Speaker 1: not really freaking me out. I feel very supported by
37:01
Speaker 1: that team. So probably the only thing that I'm like,
37:05
Speaker 1: oh my god, is knowing how little sleep I'm going
37:08
Speaker 1: to get in the early stages, because y'all know I
37:11
Speaker 1: fucking love my sleep, So that's kind of something that
37:13
Speaker 1: and I know how affected I feel when I have
37:15
Speaker 1: really shit sleep some but like, I'll brace yourself for
37:18
Speaker 1: that season. Yeah, A lot of people asking if I
37:24
Speaker 1: went through IVF, I've already answered that, No, I didn't
37:27
Speaker 1: but yeah, with IVF, it is it is more common
37:30
Speaker 1: for people to have fraternal so non identical twins because
37:32
Speaker 1: they're they're implanting more than one embryo, so that it's
37:36
Speaker 1: way more common in IVF. Someone said, what will be
37:40
Speaker 1: your parenting style? I don't even know the names of
37:44
Speaker 1: many parenting styles. I have an idea in my head
37:47
Speaker 1: of how I would parent um, but I definitely don't
37:52
Speaker 1: want to be overprotective. I don't want to be a
37:54
Speaker 1: helicopter parent. I also don't believe that it's wrong to
37:59
Speaker 1: say the word no to a child. It's absolutely okay,
38:01
Speaker 1: I think, you know. And also based on a lot
38:04
Speaker 1: of like research that I myself have done even before
38:07
Speaker 1: I was pregnant on like how much can a child
38:09
Speaker 1: reason at a young age and to sit there and
38:11
Speaker 1: have these long winded conversations at a really really young age,
38:14
Speaker 1: like is actually quite futile until they're a little bit older,
38:18
Speaker 1: and things like that. So as far as my understanding
38:21
Speaker 1: of like how the brain develops, I'm gonna be parent
38:24
Speaker 1: based around that. But one thing that I'm not gonna do,
38:27
Speaker 1: and I will not even eat my words on this,
38:29
Speaker 1: I can you can guarantee you can hold me to
38:32
Speaker 1: this till the day I die. There would be no
38:35
Speaker 1: phones until the age of three. TV. Fine, if I'm
38:38
Speaker 1: whatever and I need to put them in front of
38:40
Speaker 1: the TV, fine, But phones where they are interacting with
38:43
Speaker 1: the screen before the age of three not gonna happen.
38:46
Speaker 1: There's enough research on that. I'm like, my parents managed.
38:49
Speaker 1: I will fucking somehow. I don't know, but that to
38:52
Speaker 1: me is like a no no go for me. But
38:56
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, you do your best,
38:59
Speaker 1: you know. I just look at like, if you're parenting
39:03
Speaker 1: and they're loved and they're fed and they're safe, then
39:06
Speaker 1: really you're doing a good job. But then when we
39:08
Speaker 1: get into the specifics of parenting, everyone's going to have
39:11
Speaker 1: their non negotiables and everyone's going to have like that's
39:13
Speaker 1: ridiculous that you feel that way. I let my child
39:16
Speaker 1: have screens when I was and it was amazing, and
39:18
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, that's fucking great, you know. Like for me,
39:22
Speaker 1: I don't look at parents who do certain things that
39:25
Speaker 1: I wouldn't do and be like, oh my god. I
39:27
Speaker 1: just look at like, well, I'm glad that's working for
39:29
Speaker 1: them and their lifestyle, and I'm going to do something
39:32
Speaker 1: that works for me in my lifestyle, and it is
39:34
Speaker 1: what it is. Because everyone's going to have their opinions.
39:36
Speaker 1: The last thing I'm going to do is give my
39:37
Speaker 1: opinion to a parent and say I actually think that no,
39:41
Speaker 1: because just because you're a parent, including myself, doesn't make
39:45
Speaker 1: you an expert in parenting. Okay, So I don't want
39:49
Speaker 1: to be someone that all of a sudden is like,
39:52
Speaker 1: you know, thinks that I know more than any That's
39:55
Speaker 1: not the case. I just have my ideals for how
39:57
Speaker 1: I am going to parent and roll with that our
40:00
Speaker 1: own allignance. We're very aligned with all of that, so
40:01
Speaker 1: that's really good. Also a lot of questions about the
40:04
Speaker 1: wedding are you going to have? Well, we actually hadn't
40:07
Speaker 1: booked in a wedding. There was no wedding booked in,
40:09
Speaker 1: so that's lucky. Also, if there was a wedding booked in,
40:13
Speaker 1: I would be postponing that shit. There is no way
40:16
Speaker 1: in hell that I alexis myself like good on again,
40:20
Speaker 1: I'm talking about me presently. There is no way that
40:23
Speaker 1: I would have a wedding pregnant. I want to party
40:26
Speaker 1: until seven am on my wedding night. It is going
40:29
Speaker 1: to I wanted like, this is going to be the
40:32
Speaker 1: funnest night ever. It's going to be a big party,
40:37
Speaker 1: It'll be a vibe. I'm not bouncing around with twins
40:39
Speaker 1: floating around inside me trying to make that happen. That's
40:42
Speaker 1: just not gonna happen. I would feel like oooh by
40:44
Speaker 1: the time it's eight pm. Absolutely not. But I see
40:47
Speaker 1: people doing it, and you know what, it's to their
40:49
Speaker 1: own Some people also a lot of weddings finished at
40:51
Speaker 1: eleven pm. That will not be my wedding. So that's
40:54
Speaker 1: another thing to note. How did you decide you were ready?
40:59
Speaker 1: I never did, And it kind of, you know, it
41:02
Speaker 1: kind of worked in our favor that it took so long,
41:05
Speaker 1: because then it made us have all these really hard
41:06
Speaker 1: conversations around like what if it's never going to happen,
41:09
Speaker 1: and what if it does, and what would that look like.
41:10
Speaker 1: It almost gave us time to wrap our heads around it.
41:13
Speaker 1: But I remember always saying, we kind of just have to,
41:16
Speaker 1: you know, we don't know how long it's going to
41:17
Speaker 1: take us to get pregnant, so let's just kind of
41:19
Speaker 1: start trying and see because we'll never I never felt
41:22
Speaker 1: ready ready. I just didn't think it was possible to
41:25
Speaker 1: be ready for something that I've never experienced that's so big,
41:29
Speaker 1: like parenting or like you know, having your own child.
41:31
Speaker 1: So yeah, no, never never ready, and I'm probably not
41:34
Speaker 1: ready right now. Then before i go into like the
41:37
Speaker 1: science of twins, one more question that someone said is
41:41
Speaker 1: they were asking me about am I worried about my
41:43
Speaker 1: identity change? Like when the children come? That has been
41:49
Speaker 1: my biggest reservation in my life around having a kid
41:56
Speaker 1: or having kids. And I've said this on the podcast
41:59
Speaker 1: that my big like fear if you want to call it,
42:02
Speaker 1: or my biggest concern was that identity shift or for
42:08
Speaker 1: some women they refer to it as a loss of identity.
42:11
Speaker 1: So for me personally, I am really specific on the
42:16
Speaker 1: kind of content that I consume online. I gravitate to
42:20
Speaker 1: women who have you know, they maintain their careers, they
42:25
Speaker 1: maintain you know, they've got Also you're speaking, You've got
42:29
Speaker 1: to speak from a perspective of you know, I'm in
42:32
Speaker 1: a position where I have a lot of support around
42:34
Speaker 1: me and where my partner is going to be an
42:35
Speaker 1: equal partner in this. A lot of women don't feel
42:38
Speaker 1: that way. And one thing that I do want to
42:40
Speaker 1: say is While I am extremely lucky that I have
42:44
Speaker 1: the family I have, that Tyrone has the family that
42:46
Speaker 1: he has, that that I met Tyrone, and that you know,
42:50
Speaker 1: all of this is happening, I am not. It is
42:52
Speaker 1: not by chance that I'm having a child with this man.
42:56
Speaker 1: I can tell you hand on my heart. If I
42:59
Speaker 1: didn't think that my partner was going to show up
43:03
Speaker 1: as an equal parent, and I mean equal parent in
43:08
Speaker 1: the parenting process, I would be child free for the
43:10
Speaker 1: rest of my life. I wouldn't do it, and everyone
43:13
Speaker 1: is different, but I made that decision. I would forego
43:16
Speaker 1: children if it meant I was doing it on my own.
43:19
Speaker 1: And other people don't feel that way, or other people
43:21
Speaker 1: might go into parenting not knowing that their partner isn't
43:26
Speaker 1: going to be the way they hoped that they would
43:29
Speaker 1: be right. But for me, because I wasn't like I
43:32
Speaker 1: have to have children, I was able to be quite
43:36
Speaker 1: selective on who I would choose to have children with,
43:39
Speaker 1: and if that wasn't going to work out, then I
43:40
Speaker 1: would just forego it altogether. So when it comes to
43:44
Speaker 1: this identity thing, I noticed that a lot of men
43:48
Speaker 1: fathers don't suffer this identity crisis that women do because
43:52
Speaker 1: their lives don't change as much. A lot of men,
43:56
Speaker 1: not all men, but a lot of men. So I'm
43:58
Speaker 1: always of the thought of, like, well, if it was
44:00
Speaker 1: a lot more, even if the workload was a lot more,
44:03
Speaker 1: even would this be happening? So I don't know, So
44:06
Speaker 1: I'm interested to see, with the support that I have,
44:09
Speaker 1: what that will do to my identity. Will it still
44:11
Speaker 1: be a huge blow, will it be a temporary thing?
44:15
Speaker 1: Will it not happen at all? Like that's for me
44:18
Speaker 1: what I'm most intrigued about. I'm trying not to stress
44:22
Speaker 1: about it. I'm trying to just again, one day at
44:26
Speaker 1: a time and see how I go and not put
44:29
Speaker 1: pressure on myself and not put timelines on when things
44:31
Speaker 1: have to feel a certain way. But that's probably the
44:33
Speaker 1: thing that I'm most like, Yeah, how am I going
44:37
Speaker 1: to feel when this all happens about myself and my
44:39
Speaker 1: identity and my emotions and how is that all going
44:41
Speaker 1: to play out? Okay, now let's talk about the different
44:47
Speaker 1: kinds of twins that you can have, just to wrap
44:49
Speaker 1: up this episode, so you might if you've ever come
44:51
Speaker 1: across twin content, you might have heard of people referring
44:54
Speaker 1: to them as like momo die die or mo die twins.
44:59
Speaker 1: So what Smith, let's talk about it. So die die
45:02
Speaker 1: is basically die choreonic and die amniotic. So that means
45:10
Speaker 1: they have a separate placenta and they are in a
45:13
Speaker 1: separate amniotic sack. So this is normally fraternal. Well, this
45:18
Speaker 1: is fraternal. So if that is the case, you are fraternal,
45:21
Speaker 1: but you may be identical in that scenario. Some identical
45:24
Speaker 1: twins can be separate placenta, separate sack. What I have
45:29
Speaker 1: is mo die, So that's mono choreonic. So one placenter,
45:33
Speaker 1: die amniotic, so they have their own amniotic sack, but
45:38
Speaker 1: they share a placenta. These guys are always identical because
45:42
Speaker 1: they share a placenter. That's how they knew with me.
45:44
Speaker 1: They could see on the scan that there was only
45:45
Speaker 1: one placenta. They were able to tell straight away. Then
45:49
Speaker 1: the most high risk and it only acounts for about
45:51
Speaker 1: one percent of all twin pregnancies, is mo mo. That's
45:55
Speaker 1: mono choreonic, monoamniotic. You share a placenter and you share
46:00
Speaker 1: the amniotic sack, and of course always identical in this
46:03
Speaker 1: scenario as well. So that is the most high risk
46:06
Speaker 1: of all because you can have issues where the twins,
46:11
Speaker 1: one twin takes too much of the nutrients of the other,
46:15
Speaker 1: or the ambilical cords can get tangled. There's all these issues,
46:17
Speaker 1: a lot of you know, Like I was watching this
46:20
Speaker 1: twin pregnant woman on TikTok and she from twenty five
46:25
Speaker 1: weeks onwards had to be in hospital being monitored. The
46:28
Speaker 1: babies had to be monitored daily because of how high
46:31
Speaker 1: risk her particular Mow Mow pregnancy was. With me with
46:36
Speaker 1: mo Die pregnancy. So they share the placenta, but they
46:40
Speaker 1: don't share a sack, so there's no chance of tangling
46:42
Speaker 1: or anything like that. But because they share a placenter,
46:44
Speaker 1: there is the risk that one twin will start getting
46:48
Speaker 1: blood vessels that go further into the placenter and take
46:50
Speaker 1: more of the nutrients, and then you're going to see
46:51
Speaker 1: it in their size, So one twin will grow more
46:54
Speaker 1: and get more nutrients than the other. There's a fifteen
46:56
Speaker 1: percent chance that can happen. If that does happen, there
46:59
Speaker 1: is a procedure that can be done where they laser
47:03
Speaker 1: the plus center the vessels in the plus center. Fucking science,
47:08
Speaker 1: I know, and then it actually evens up the distribution
47:12
Speaker 1: of nutrients again to the babies. So that's obviously like
47:14
Speaker 1: you cross that bridge if you have to come to
47:16
Speaker 1: it kind of thing. Um, So yeah, that's kind of
47:22
Speaker 1: the difference of twins. There's also like way more tech
47:25
Speaker 1: terminology around twins, but I feel like people aren't going
47:28
Speaker 1: to be as intrigued about the really ins and outs
47:30
Speaker 1: of the terminologies of twins as like the general public.
47:33
Speaker 1: So that is the episode for today. If I've missed anything,
47:38
Speaker 1: I will just ask me more questions and I will
47:40
Speaker 1: answer them in my life updates in other episodes. But
47:42
Speaker 1: thank you for tuning in for this major life update.
47:45
Speaker 1: It's very exciting, and stay tuned for the visions of
47:50
Speaker 1: me on this couch with my barely growing and growing
47:52
Speaker 1: and growing and my breasts as well. Good times. Um yeah,
47:58
Speaker 1: that's all. As I always remember the kind yourself PCONTI,
48:00
Speaker 1: your brains, don't take shit from anyone, and especially don't
48:03
Speaker 1: take shit from yourself. Donkey