Latest / The imuRgency Room / Love Island Is Everything Wrong With The Gen Z Dating Scene
Transcript
- 0:00Dates. We're missing dates.
- 0:03Like get the on my face. Hello.
- 0:12New York. Live island is doing a lot of
- 0:15things for a lot of people. For some it's entertaining, for
- 0:18others it is frustrating, and for the majority of us, whether
- 0:22we know it consciously or not, this season of Live Island is a
- 0:25mirror to the current Gen. Z dating landscape and also
- 0:29friendship landscape, and it's time we talk about it.
- 0:32Hey guys, it's up to urgency and welcome back to my channel.
- 0:34Today we are back. And today we're talking about
- 0:37Love Island and more so dating. Because season 7 of Love Island
- 0:42has been dominating Internet discourse, no pun intended, for
- 0:45just about a month now. And so many different think
- 0:47pieces have spawned good, bad, ugly, and the likes about this
- 0:51show. Because for one, I think that
- 0:52most rowdy shows are just the human sociology experiment.
- 0:54But this isn't especially because there are just so many
- 0:56layers going back. Now, this is by no means a
- 0:59season review. We're more so talking about Love
- 1:01Island and the themes and controversies of Love Island to
- 1:04help us have a better understanding as to like what
- 1:06has been going on in the Gen. Z dating scene.
- 1:09We've talked about dating in Gen.
- 1:10Z in Priority. I was more of like a general
- 1:12feeler for what's been going on in society.
- 1:15This video is meant to tackle some of the most prominent
- 1:17things that we're seeing that are the biggest pain points in
- 1:20dating and young people that we see that are being put on full
- 1:23display on our televisions every single day on Love Island.
- 1:26Showing us in real time why things like nonchalance, being
- 1:29non committal, as well as how things like identity stealthing
- 1:32and the overuse and sometimes weaponization of being a girl's
- 1:36girl all impact the way that we're seeing people on Love
- 1:38Island date. And why this season is one of
- 1:40the most loveless seasons, as well as how it's impacting us
- 1:43outside the villa in the real world, making Gen.
- 1:46Z1 of the most loveless generations.
- 1:48This is for sure going to be an interesting 1, so be sure to
- 1:50buckle up because it's time to get into it.
- 1:52OK, so let's just set a level of understanding here because I did
- 1:55ask my subscribers whether or not they're actually tuned into
- 1:57Love Island in the majority of the all said no and had no plans
- 2:00of watching. Ouch.
- 2:02OK, target audience not reached. So for those of you that are out
- 2:05of the loop, there's this reality show.
- 2:08Yes, I know, I just heard the collective groan near me.
- 2:11There's this reality show called Love Island, which is basically
- 2:14what you get when you put a bunch of really hot chronically
- 2:17on line 20 somethings all on an island without any form of
- 2:20connection to the real world. Make them partake in a series of
- 2:23potentially biohazardous humiliation rituals, I mean
- 2:26challenges. Put cameras in their face and
- 2:28say go at it. Now you may be asking yourself,
- 2:32wait, I thought this was called Love Island?
- 2:34Where's the love part? And that is a perfectly fine and
- 2:37intelligent question. Us Love Island watchers have
- 2:39been wondering the same thing all season.
- 2:41Like I said, this is the 7th season of Love Island.
- 2:43USAUK has a ton of seasons. But As for the US, this is the
- 2:46seventh season, but only the second season of Love Island USA
- 2:49that features a mostly Gen. Z cast and maybe potentially the
- 2:53first entirely Gen. Z cast.
- 2:56And this is made very obvious given how many TikTok references
- 3:00and meme references that are made throughout the season and
- 3:03just in their regular conversations.
- 3:05Yeah, I like your laugh. It sounds like something she
- 3:08said. This season's original cast ages
- 3:20range from around 21 to 27, but now with some of the more recent
- 3:23bombshells it's up to around like 29.
- 3:25But again, majority Gen. Z.
- 3:27And do not be like generationally specific but like
- 3:29to everyone surprised 18 to 24 year olders right now are kind
- 3:33of considered Gen. Z2 point O.
- 3:35But I'm sure like no 24 year old actually knows this and is aware
- 3:38of this. But each their own articles
- 3:40don't write themselves. We've actually talked about this
- 3:42divide in Gen. Z in a previous video.
- 3:44You should have to go check that out.
- 3:45And from that video, we learned that there are two Gen.
- 3:48Z's, at least politically. Gen.
- 3:50Z 2.0 is largely defined as people that experience the
- 3:53pandemic during high school. And for reasons that we've dug
- 3:56into before, this group of people tends to lean a little
- 3:59bit more conservative and is more so right leaning and
- 4:02aspiring for the traditional life than the older half of Gen.
- 4:05Z. And this isn't to say the
- 4:07younger Islanders are conservative.
- 4:09I don't know that. But it's interesting to see what
- 4:10they value and what the ideology and language of that is like for
- 4:14people like Ace and Bella, who are some of the younger
- 4:16Islanders this season. They both talked around the
- 4:18concept of being high value, whether that be a high value
- 4:21woman or a high value man, which as we often know, is terminology
- 4:24used in red pill content, whether that be for men or
- 4:27women. There's also a lot of talk this
- 4:28isn't about the traditional life, whether that be like the
- 4:30traditional wife or husband coming from all parties, which
- 4:33is crazy because how are you all talking about wife and husband?
- 4:36We all can barely find a strong connection.
- 4:38Let's talk about that like Ace, one of the more prominent people
- 4:41on this season, has had that conversation with at least two
- 4:44people already. I'm already thinking of Iris and
- 4:46Coco just off the Dome, talking about how they agree that
- 4:48they're not just dating to date. They are in fact dating to
- 4:51marry, which is something that a lot of people tend to say.
- 4:53I'm not here to say that just because you out here trying to
- 4:55date to marry don't mean that you're like on some kind of
- 4:58pipeline. No, it's just the fact that they
- 5:00are on the younger side. And based on what they've said
- 5:02in the show, they have not had a lot of dating experience or at
- 5:05least serious dating experience. So it just feels a little while
- 5:07to put that pressure on whoever they're planning on dating being
- 5:11like, yeah, I know I met you 5 days ago in the villa, but I'm
- 5:17looking for this to be end game. But this whole conversation lays
- 5:21into something we're going to get into later in the video when
- 5:23it comes to men, both in real life and on the show, claiming
- 5:25to want the traditional nuclear family but not being traditional
- 5:29themselves or acting any way of the sort.
- 5:32And I think that this is really interesting just because I feel
- 5:34like with older Gen. Z and millennials, there are a
- 5:36lot of other ideas around like family dynamics that aren't
- 5:39necessarily as traditional. And of course, I have another
- 5:42video talking about that. And obviously when I say these
- 5:44things, I'm not speaking like monolithically because most
- 5:47things are a case by case basis. But it seems, at least
- 5:50anecdotally, a lot of older Gen. Z and Millennials are beginning
- 5:52to see new forms of family and community, whereas it's seeming
- 5:55that for the younger half of Gen.
- 5:57Z, things are trending towards wanting more traditional
- 6:00structures. I've been thinking a lot about
- 6:01the red pill language that's been used on the season of Love
- 6:04Island. I've made a couple of videos
- 6:06about how Bella Rests in peace in particular has been one to
- 6:09use it calling her herself a high value woman, which is
- 6:12pulled straight from the manosphere hierarchy that says
- 6:15high value people are superior to low value people because they
- 6:19have traits that make them so, like being hot, having a good
- 6:23job, better morals. Taking a little step away from
- 6:25the Gen. Z dating correlation with Love
- 6:28Island and more so just around like how Gen.
- 6:30Z as a culture has been changing, not only reality TV,
- 6:34but more specifically this season of Love Island.
- 6:36And it's something that people have been talking about a lot
- 6:38online as C factor that's been ruining the season of Love
- 6:41Island is the hyper awareness that they're being filmed.
- 6:44As a generation, we've grown up in front of the camera and on
- 6:46social media. And it's very much so apparent
- 6:48in this cast, like the Islanders seem hyper aware, even more so
- 6:51this season, previous ones, that they're being watched.
- 6:53They either play into it or reference it.
- 7:03Like our generation has been living in the digital panopticon
- 7:06and it makes sense. We're the first generation to
- 7:08live our formative years online, on our phones and on social
- 7:11media. Meaning that we've always had
- 7:12the watchful imaginary eye on us, in our heads and on our
- 7:16screens. Like the amount of times that
- 7:17Islanders reference America and analyze our choices then go
- 7:21ahead and make decisions, making the show feel more like a
- 7:23gameplay and more so like Big Brother than actually Love
- 7:26Island. And like, it almost feels like
- 7:28this cast is hyper aware that they're on a show and aren't
- 7:30actually participating in the show to abide by what the show
- 7:33is meant to be and is instead fixated on replicating
- 7:37everything that went down in season 6 and what the winners of
- 7:40season 6 ended up reaping. But you see, the problem here is
- 7:43that what made Season 6 of Little Island such a hit and
- 7:46launched all the winners, like the top three winners into super
- 7:50stardom and all the money and connections and all that, is
- 7:53that they're doing what the show actually required of them and
- 7:55actually did find love and they seemingly genuine way.
- 7:58They're being fun, they're being messy, they're being flirty and
- 8:01exploring because it's love, not strategy Island.
- 8:06Like this season feels like the Islanders are intentionally
- 8:08trying to create moments and emulate what they think the
- 8:10public wants to see with a specific outcome in mind.
- 8:13Now let's get back into the dating because that's what we
- 8:16came here for. And one of the main things that
- 8:17I've seen be a major hindrance and a lot of the cast, actual
- 8:21pairings and finding love, as well as one of the main
- 8:24hindrances in real life and Gen. Z dating is the general non
- 8:27committal nature of the cast and Gen.
- 8:29Z. If you've been a Love Island
- 8:31historian, you'd know that no other season has been in this
- 8:33non committal. Like, yes, there's a thing
- 8:35called Casa Moore, where the original pairings of people on
- 8:39Love Island go off and are attempted to pair up with a
- 8:41whole different set of bombshells, all living in what's
- 8:45called Casa Amor around halfway through the season.
- 8:47But usually that's in the test, the strength of the original
- 8:50connections that the Islanders had to see whether or not
- 8:52they're down to actually fully commit or whether or not they're
- 8:55just playing around and looking for something better.
- 8:57But what we saw with Casa Moore this season is that it felt more
- 9:00like a lifeline for the Islanders currently on the
- 9:02villa. Because no one was committing to
- 9:04each other at that point. There had not been really any
- 9:06strong couples where both parties are choosing to commit
- 9:09to each other. And it felt like everyone was
- 9:10kind of banking on Casa more to bring in some fresh meat to
- 9:14potentially find someone to actually want to commit to,
- 9:16which hasn't really been the case in previous seasons, which
- 9:19is why they completely changed up how they did Casa more this
- 9:22season because this year was just so strange.
- 9:24And I'd argue that a big reason for the lack of commitment is
- 9:26because of the fear of being closed off and committing.
- 9:29I mean like there are many different reasons why people
- 9:31didn't lock down and commit because of the way that certain
- 9:33players are playing the game earlier in the season, AKA
- 9:36Jeremiah and Huda, as well as Ace's role in it.
- 9:38Both disincentivizing locking down with someone too early in
- 9:41promoting exploring, AKA meaning dating as many people as
- 9:44possible without commitment until you know who you want to
- 9:47commit to. But as we saw the first half of
- 9:48the season play out, what happens when everyone's
- 9:51exploring, no one commits, and the people that get eliminated
- 9:53from the island are the people that actually do find a
- 9:55connection and want to commit. Well, it creates a batch of
- 9:58chronically single people on the show who seem like they want the
- 10:01prize money of 100K more than they actually want, want to be
- 10:04with each other. And we see this in real life too
- 10:05when it comes to dating in Gen. Z.
- 10:07Not to beat a dead horse because everyone's talked about this
- 10:09when it comes to Gen. Z dating, but like the whole
- 10:11advent of dating apps, having so many options, exploring so many
- 10:14options and not really committing to one or taking one
- 10:16serious because the grass is always greener.
- 10:18There are always more options until you know, there aren't.
- 10:21But let's go a little bit deeper and talk more specifically about
- 10:23like what are dating trends that we've seen happen in real life
- 10:26that are playing out on the show?
- 10:27And one of those being, and the title of the section is a
- 10:30question. Why are the men so conservative
- 10:32and nonchal? Is this very?
- 10:34Weird, emotionally stunted season of Love Island due to the
- 10:38intimacy crisis and people retreating from dating.
- 10:41As the little Internet researchers we are, we of course
- 10:43found reposts, old tweets, old stories, the likes, the
- 10:47followings of not just all the men but also all the ladies on
- 10:50the show and on the male side. Why does it seem like all the
- 10:53men have been at some point red pilled or are on some level
- 10:56repeating conservative ideologies?
- 10:58Like you have people like Austin reposting things do with Trump,
- 11:01things that are anti Kamala. You have one of the Islanders,
- 11:03there's TJ following Andrew Tate, then on the girls side,
- 11:05you literally have two girls that got kicked off for saying
- 11:07something racist. Like what is going on with this
- 11:09cast when it comes to how this is played out in the show, more
- 11:12specifically to the feelings of like nonchalance is like for the
- 11:15entire first half of the show, all of the guys really played it
- 11:18cool. They played it very cool.
- 11:19They played it very nonchalant if you will, not really
- 11:22expressing the girls too much how they felt being a little
- 11:24distant, being a little coy and not really showing as much
- 11:27romance to the girls. Not necessarily grafting, as is
- 11:30typical for Love Island, like grafting and the concept of
- 11:33grafting was like such a integral part of Love Island
- 11:36that it became part of like the Love Island lexicon.
- 11:38And we've seen this notion of grafting more so with Ace in the
- 11:41later half of the season where he's going out of his way to
- 11:43plan these breakfasts and these dates and stuff for Shelly.
- 11:46But in prior seasons, it used to just be more widespread and just
- 11:49more it was putting effort to gain someone's attention,
- 11:52flirting, planning little dates, being intentional and thoughtful
- 11:56about the dates. But instead we get this season
- 11:58are things like this scooping and pushing boom.
- 12:08And I know I mentioned aces being one example of like decent
- 12:11Grafton, but he's also a perpetrator of like the
- 12:14nonchalance because he definitely did early in the
- 12:16season come up to Shelley and be like, how are you going to fit
- 12:18in my life? What are you going to do to try
- 12:19and pursue me to a Shelley replied something on the lines
- 12:22of you're chasing me. And we've seen it with a lot of
- 12:25the other guys too. You have people like Austin not
- 12:27really wanting to put in the work to pursue Shelley, and
- 12:29instead when he's seeing Ace pursue Shelley, he's like, oh, I
- 12:32don't want to be in love triangle while not putting in
- 12:34much effort himself. Then people like Taylor and
- 12:36Nick, who kind of come across as kind of like aloof and not
- 12:40necessarily that they're super into their person, that being a
- 12:45Landria and at the time, Sierra in the first half of the show.
- 12:48So yeah, it's just like this pattern of nonchalance that we
- 12:50see so often in the real world, which is really hurting the
- 12:52romance on the show. But also in real life, there is
- 12:54this like notion of like not carrying and nonchalance and
- 12:57sort of avoidance and detachment that is so prevalent in the Gen.
- 13:00Z dating scene. Like not wanting to show your
- 13:02car is not wanting to love openly, not wanting to fully be
- 13:05yourself too early in fear of getting hurt and in fear of
- 13:08being too vulnerable or just in fear of doing too much, I guess.
- 13:12And this is kind of twofold because I don't want to say that
- 13:14it's just a man thing. There also is a lot of pushback
- 13:16to Shalants and really expressing oneself coming from
- 13:19the girls side as well. Like we can't not mention the
- 13:22whole like who gonna be the boys, the sassy man apocalypse
- 13:25and DL allegations against straight guys that either show
- 13:27that they're too comfortable in their sexuality or just
- 13:29generally too expressive. And I really hate to be on here
- 13:32to defend and the guys because I'm here for the girlies and the
- 13:34gays, but it is a reality because it is not just a guys
- 13:37thing. And actually as a transition to
- 13:38that, let's kind of talk about what's going on on the show and
- 13:41in real life when it comes to the girls and specifically the
- 13:44girls. Girls.
- 13:44So recently on the show, the producers of Live Island created
- 13:47a new challenge called the Stand on Business Challenge, which is
- 13:50essentially ask FM or Ask me anything.
- 13:52In real life, people can write whatever question or statement
- 13:55they may have about you and choose whether or not they want
- 13:58to sign their name or not. Which of course became quickly
- 14:01messy when tension were high and people were already beefing with
- 14:04each other. But what started off with
- 14:05potentially messy intentions just ended up resulting in
- 14:08bullying. And we got to talk about one of
- 14:10the main people that were bullied in that episode where it
- 14:12was miss and my papaya. My favorite of the season
- 14:14essentially. And why I bring this up is
- 14:16because that episode and this season specifically, if you took
- 14:19a shot every time someone mentioned the term girl's girl,
- 14:21you would be rushed to the hospital for alcohol poisoning.
- 14:23Like that term is just being thrown around Willy nilly.
- 14:26And it's unfortunate because the term initially had a sense and a
- 14:28purpose, but the way that it's going to be used now on the show
- 14:30and also sometimes on social media, the term girls girl gets
- 14:33turned into a weapon of the state or at least a weapon of
- 14:36the villa, almost as a way of policing the girls behavior in
- 14:38ways that definitely extend out the range of intended use.
- 14:41Now it's like a little backtrack and get into like what the
- 14:43initial meaning of girls girl was.
- 14:46It came into the social and cultural zeitgeist around 2023
- 14:49and it was meant to be a positive trait to finding women
- 14:51who backed other women, never viewing them as competition but
- 14:54as allies. It's meant to subvert and be the
- 14:56counter to the mean girl or pick me girl being either just
- 14:59generally rude to women or being a male centered woman.
- 15:02But as everything that gets reused to death by the Internet
- 15:04peanut gallery, it seems that people have lost the plot as to
- 15:07what the term actually means. And now that it seems that
- 15:09online and on this show that if a girl doesn't act in a way that
- 15:11you like or deem palatable, that you can always accuse them as
- 15:14being the worst possible thing they can be.
- 15:16Not a girl's girl. And I hate to say this because
- 15:18this may be overstepping, but like just because that girl is
- 15:21not your girl does not mean that she's not a girl's girl.
- 15:24And I don't say that to be crass or rude or anything.
- 15:26But we see, especially in the show, people overusing that term
- 15:28to police girls behavior into acting a certain way or to
- 15:30acting in accordance to whatever group that person is a part of
- 15:33because being a girl's girl is not the same in all situations.
- 15:37We're seeing the season that this phrase is being weaponized
- 15:39against girls for stepping on toes and maybe not being the
- 15:41most agreeable, which I mean isn't great.
- 15:43But like is the plot of the show.
- 15:46Like yes, if your home girl starts talking to a guy she
- 15:47knows you like that would be SUS in the real world, but on Love
- 15:50Island, that's like the whole point.
- 15:51You only know each other for a few days and like that's the
- 15:53name of the game I fear. And in the case of the show,
- 15:55like that president was also set by Hooda and Jeremiah, where
- 15:59Hooda would come after any girl that even look Jeremiah's way,
- 16:02calling them outside their name, calling them not a girls girl
- 16:04and then essentially damning them to hell.
- 16:05And like, the thing about this whole girls girl thing is that
- 16:07it's never actually used in practice when it should count.
- 16:09Like, yeah, it's used against the girls whenever one girl does
- 16:12something that another girl doesn't like.
- 16:13But like, where are the not a girls girl arguments coming?
- 16:16Where are Maya's getting bullied by three of her ex connections
- 16:19and none of the girls stand up for her?
- 16:20And when she rightfully so breaks down afterwards, it takes
- 16:24so long for the girls to actually go and comfort her from
- 16:26that. Like we've seen in past seasons,
- 16:28girls actually stick up for each other when the guys are tripping
- 16:30or doing too much. Like, think of Janae's iconic
- 16:32What did I say about arguing with women, Mike?
- 16:34It's a sense of like performative girls girlness,
- 16:37when in reality, at least in the show, it's not actually about
- 16:39uplifting and supporting other women.
- 16:40It's about making sure that the other girls don't get in your
- 16:42way or piss you off. And I guess to close off here,
- 16:44with all that said, I fear that a lot of these criticisms about
- 16:46Love Island and about how things are playing out in the dating
- 16:50sphere on Love Island aren't exclusive to the villa.
- 16:53They don't just apply to the Islanders.
- 16:54In fact, I'd say that they apply to the general dating sphere as
- 16:57a whole because we're seeing these trends in person.
- 16:59And I think that's why we're having such a visceral reactions
- 17:01to them play out on the show because we've seen these type of
- 17:03people before. We've seen these interactions
- 17:05before, and they're personally relatable.
- 17:07Because what's happening on Love Island, of course, to a more
- 17:10dramatized scale, is what's happening in a lot of the love
- 17:13lives of young people right now. And I've been seeing a lot of
- 17:15people online talk about how they need next season, an
- 17:18entirely new cast, just bring in some new people.
- 17:20Or would an entirely different cast around the same age group
- 17:23bring a different energy? Or is Love Island just a sign of
- 17:26the times where things like hyper vigilance, the loss of
- 17:29authenticity, and the inability to form new authenticity
- 17:32connections as easily? Well, God, I hope not.