Latest / Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home / Blue Stiley - Dojo Lessons To Dad Wisdom

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Blue Stiley - Dojo Lessons To Dad Wisdom · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, I'm Riley.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm Ryder.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_02: And this is my dad's Joe.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_02: Well hey everybody, it's Casey J Cox with the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to season six.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_02: And I cannot be more excited to have you join me for another year of fantastic episodes of Conversations with unscripted and raw and authentic conversations with dads.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_02: If you're new to this podcast, really it's simple.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_02: It's a podcast where we interview dads, we learn about how they're raised, we learn about the life lessons that were important to them, we learn about the values that are important to them, and really we learn about how we can work hard to become a better quarterback or leader of our home.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_02: So let's sit back, relax, and listen to today's episode on the Quarterback Deckcast.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_02: Well, hey everybody, it is K Jcox with the Quarterback Deckcast.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_02: We are at uh the tail end of season six, and our next guest is someone I met through uh another actually client of mine, which is actually always fun.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_02: And he said, Hey man, do you know this guy, Blue Stiley?
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_02: I said, I don't, but I love the dude's name.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_02: And that guy's name is Chad Murphy, out of uh the the friends at uh Max Miller.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_02: And uh Blue is a author of the book called The Sum of Four.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_02: He is a speaker, he's a model, he's a podcast host of the Blue Stiley podcast, but more importantly, Blue is a dad.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_02: And that's why we're having him on today because we're gonna learn how he is working hard to become an ultimate quarterback or leader of his household.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_02: So further ado, Mr.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_02: Stiley, welcome to the quarterback dad cast.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for having me.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: And like thanks for being a member on uh or a guest on my episode uh for uh my podcast.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just awesome to know you and meet you and get to know a lot of the people within the same industry.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: And thanks for having me on, man.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_01: I'm looking forward to this.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_02: You bet.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_02: Well, um, in in all transparency, we should we should tell our audience uh the little little secret that we actually this is actually take two.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um blue and I, we we you guys, we tried recording earlier and uh our our friends, I'm not gonna air out um I'm not gonna air out my podcast um company because that wouldn't be very nice.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_02: But we had a little tech issue, but we're not gonna have one today.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_02: It's gonna go perfect.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna throw you under the bus because it's like even through our podcasting company, it's like we run into errors, and I think that is a life thing.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: I it doesn't matter what you're doing, you are going to run into first world problems and third world spots.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: I it just happens.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_02: 100% that's a great way to say it.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and I think it's also just you get you gotta like not don't sweat the small stuff in life sometimes and just kind of roll with it, and it is what it is, but uh okay.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_02: Well, we always start out each episode with gratitude.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um, Blue, so tell me what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: I am most grateful for the fact that my wife and I have the flexibility in our schedules to be able to take care of our kids and pick them up from school, uh, drop them off.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and we thought our daughter had an ear infection this morning, and so we took her in.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: And luckily she does not, but just to how thankful it is and grateful that we have the ability to be able to do that, you know, and it's really, really hard and it takes a community, but uh just having that flexibility on our schedule really helps, and it it I think it sets up our kids, both of my kids, to realize that they can depend on us, and that's really special because uh you're scared as a kid, yeah.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_02: Spot on, dude.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_02: I think it's really good to slow down to think about that because um some every marriage is different, every buddy's different.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes parents leave at six in the morning, they're getting home at seven at night, and they gotta they're just working their ass off to make ends meet.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_02: And the fact that you do have that flexibility is fantastic.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um, we are you guys everybody we're recording in October.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, this episode will come out uh in in a in a in a in a few months or a month or so.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_02: I'm grateful for game seven tonight.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_02: And I get a I get to watch my beloved Seattle Mariners.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_02: And I know we joked before we start recording, but man, I hope I hope when this episode comes out, this mustache is gone and the Seattle Mariners are your World Series champs.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_02: Let's just put it in the frickin' universe, Blue.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: Wouldn't that be awesome?
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I mean, and to the viewers, I I was in Seattle for 30 years.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: I went to UDob and the Mariners, they deserve it.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: Someone told me yesterday that it's they're the only team to never make it to the World Series.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, that blew me away.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: I thought that they it I thought that other teams also hadn't.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: I knew that we never have, but that blew my mind.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: So I am rooting for them, and I just I'm rooting for you to shave that mustache off.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_02: That's a for it's it's I mean, I definitely feel like I'm going to a biker rally after that we get done recording this podcast, so that'll be fun.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: Please, you have to put a shot up on this, you know, somewhere where people can see how amazing that that uh handlebar stash is.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's full.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_02: It's pretty funny.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_02: I I was in a gym yesterday watching my daughter play hoop, and some of the families have they have not seen me in a few weeks because I was uh traveling, so I was able to watch her game on through the stream, but they're like, some of them didn't even recognize me.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_02: They're like, oh my god.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, hey, this is for the mariners, it's not a fashion statement, everybody.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_02: So okay, bring me inside the Stiley Huddle.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_02: Tell me or tell us how you and your wife met, and then bring and then tell us a little bit about each uh member of the squad.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: Uh well, my I went my I well, I met my wife uh on an airplane.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: She was a flight attendant, and uh one thing led to another.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: I passed my number off to her friend, aka her, another flight attendant, and I had no idea that she was going to be the woman that um I fell for, but that's exactly what happened.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: And we fast-forwarded, we got a dog, moved in together.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, we got pregnant right after we got married, we eloped to San Francisco, and um, it's just been an amazing life, and I would not want to share it with anybody else other than her, and I'm so happy because I'm with someone who is a better parent than me.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: And she cares more about her kids, uh, sometimes more than me.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I always take the end, but it's like it is amazing to be able to trust someone and believe in someone so much that you know that everything that she does is for our amazing little two babies, and uh, I feel blessed every single day.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and we have a 10-year-old daughter who's almost going on 19, I think, every day.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: And my son, who is five, who seems to act like he's the Hulk or Spider-Man, no matter what.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: And um, they keep us on our toes.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: And our daughter loves soccer.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I see the sign behind you, which is believe from Ted Lasso.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: And that is the only thing I know about soccer, uh, is Ted Lasso.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: But I will tell you, supporting our kids and what their dreams are and what their aspirations are is uh amazing.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: And being able to jump on board the soccer bandwagon and learn how to play soccer a little bit and learn the rules has been amazing.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe you could teach me how to what the difference is on onsides and offsides, but it is just amazing to be able to give them uh the ability to take off and spread their own wings and learn things that I didn't know.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so I learned from them just as much, and so does my wife, and it's amazing, and we are very, very blessed.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_02: Love it, ma'am.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I'm I'm thinking how many it'd be interesting to ask how many flight attendants or how many stories of airlines have they've met their spouse on a plane, but it happened to me more than I think.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_01: I bet it does because everyone assumes that that happens all the time, and I have never met anyone who has.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_01: I I had never asked a flight attendant out before.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: Uh it just happened to be, and um, we were both in the right place at the right time, and we weren't looking for anybody, and it was just perfect timing, and it set up, and I found the person that made me a better person.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_02: So cool.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_02: Um, okay, so we got we got a soccer player.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_02: I always love hearing stories of parents when their kids do sports they didn't do because it I think it actually helps them not become the psycho parent that like I and I mean that kind of like with all humility because like I, you know, I played football, but my son he played flag football, but never got into football, tackle football.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_02: And he's uh now plays golf in college, and my daughter, she's a high school basketball player, gonna go play in college.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_02: I sucked at basketball, I was average.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_02: Um I love that my kids found sports that I that wasn't my jam.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_02: No, I'm I play a lot of golf now, but um I know we'll learn about your martial arts journey.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but was your wife a soccer player?
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: No, she never played either.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: She did competitive uh skating, like inline skating, like a skating champion ninja.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: She was a state champ, and like man, she and that was funny because I didn't realize that when we had met.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so she was really she was athletic, she was cheerleader.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: I did karate, I did baseball um and judo, and that was our style.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: And our daughter does the soccer, and she was a um basically like a gymnast cheerleading competitive cheer, and she dropped out of that and went full on on soccer.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: And it's cool because we just sit on the sidelines and I'm learning, you know, and I watch the other parents get involved, like, oh, you gotta move up, move up, mark up.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like that's all new to us, and it is pretty fun to be able to just sit back and learn because our daughter knows more than us.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: And like you said, it we are not jumping in being the not, I don't want to say a helicopter parent where we're telling her what's right and what's wrong, or you need to do this, but it's like we are learning.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: The negative is that my wife and I, Heidi, she uh we both are very uh fitness oriented.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I was a strength coach to Olympic athletes, and so the fitness side, I know what you gotta warm up, you gotta get you gotta be ready, you gotta do some runs, you gotta do some sprints because it's so important to warm up.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's the only time that I kind of overshadow her at the very beginning, where I'm like, it's so important, don't get injured.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: No matter what, don't get injured.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_01: And other than that, and she takes off and she does her thing, and and my wife and I just learn, and it's been amazing.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_02: Very cool.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_02: Well, um, bring me inside, or actually, I want to take take me back to what life was like growing up for Blue.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_02: And I'd love to learn learn about the impact mom and dad had on you, and uh, and then if you can share some values that were really instilled in you as you grew up.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I was born with the name Blue.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: They waited four months to make sure my eyes didn't change color.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and in the 70s, you could do that.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_01: Uh and everybody thinks that my name is the coolest, it's super unique and it's a wow factor, but as a child, it was horrible.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I got beat up and made fun of and bullied and constantly.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so my parents put me into martial arts in order to boost my confidence.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_01: But I was terrified of getting beat up because I'd gotten in fights and it hurts.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't know.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_01: That's like taking a child and throwing them in the deep end and saying you got to learn how to swim, right?
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: And it was like they were putting me into these martial art classes uh to learn to fight, and you had to fight in order to learn to fight.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_01: And it was kind of like a negative, right?
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like a yin-yang.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, oh my gosh.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_01: But when I walked into those doors, uh, it was one of the greatest moments ever because I met my martial arts instructor who became a father figure to me.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_01: And he did it by earning my trust and making a real and genuine connection with me, and then bringing me into his community, which was called a dojo.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_01: And within that dojo doors, I was surrounded by people who were better than me, uh, an entire class.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: And the Japanese believe in a mentor-mentee relationship where basically when I come in, I'm handed a mentor and I learn from that person.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's their job to teach me.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: And you then once you learn, then you have to be able to pass it down.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: And the Japanese believe that if you don't understand something, and if you can't teach it, then you obviously don't understand it.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so that was something that I was uh immediately introduced to at the age of eight.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: And everything I wanted to do in my life, uh, there was somebody in that class, uh, someone in that school that could teach me how to do it, whether it was start a business, learn a language, travel, learn different books, finance, um, how to do the splits, you know, how to be, how to be um a champion or a national champ at something.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: And it was just an amazing peachy drish of people that could help and support me.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel blessed that my parents put me into that.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: Um, my parents divorced, though, when I was 12.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: They separated when I was 10.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I started to, I honestly rebelled against my mom.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: I thought that it was my mom's fault, and I took it out on her, and I said things that any kid, teenage kid shouldn't say.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I took it out on her.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I have to give her credit because she never told me why they divorced.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: And uh she let that let me come to that conclusion later in life, but I was this rude little child to her, and and I feel horrible about that.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I was just mean and she didn't know what to do, but uh she did know um someone who knew what to do, and that was my martial arts instructor.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: And so as a teenage kid, I thought like it I took pride in showing up early and and coming to class and and being the last one to leave and being the best in there and the most flexible and the strongest.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: And so I always took it upon myself to be the first there.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I arrived one day and I noticed that there was somebody in there in class already.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, oh, like somebody beat me.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I looked in and I and as I walked in the doors, I realized it was my mom talking to my instructor, and I was like, oh man, I'm gonna be in trouble for this one.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and he looked at me and he said, Go get dressed.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_01: So I walked back slowly, like with a tail between my legs.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: I got dressed, and as I was getting dressed, I could hear other people coming in.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I was taking my time and I came out and she was gone.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_01: And Casey, that was the longest hour and a half workout I've ever had because I knew that I was gonna have a talking to at the end.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: And sure enough, at the end, I was the last one there.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_01: I was sitting down with my little ghee and my jan sport backpack on my legs, and I was nervously twitching.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: And my instructor turned to me, he said, if you ever speak to your mom that way again, you will never step your foot in these doors again.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_01: Do you understand me?
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Yes, sir.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I knew at that moment that I had made my decision, and my mom was Mother Teresa from that point on.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and she didn't, I still look back at this as like one of the most strategic military generalistic moves of all time.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I just learned that from my mom, the power of understanding somebody's currency, what motivates them and inspires them, right?
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like for a kid, it might be money or or candy or time on their switch.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: But for a teenager, it might be time with your girlfriend or your boyfriend or you're getting your license.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: And for an adult, it might be fame or money or recommendations or something like that.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: And for me, she knew that the most important thing for me was karate and judo.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so she knew my currency and she knew somebody who could pull that from me.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_01: And it was the greatest move of all time.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: So I learned the power of understanding what somebody's currency was.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_01: And if you know that, you can get people to do things that they don't want to do or believe in.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: And as a result, I was the kindest kid ever to my mom after that moment because it was more important to me to train than it was not.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_02: How did you know you were in trouble?
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what was your what was the the like your gut or the little voice in your head saying, you know, you get to you get to the dojo?
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what the hell my mom doing here?
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_02: Like what what was the talk to me about that voice in your head that said, uh-oh, I'm I might be in trouble here.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_01: My mom had threatened to kick me out.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: Uh and I went to school and then I would take the bus to karate.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then I showed up.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and when I walked in, I saw someone there, not knowing who it was, because her head was her back was turned to me, and she never went, she would never go to my classes, she would go to my testing, but she would never be there for any reason.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: And so when she was there, and as from our conversation when she was threatening to kick me out, and I brushed off like it was nothing, I knew that there was a problem.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then then she she did that and talked, and uh she shaped me into into being a better kid.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_01: And man, it was a great lesson.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_01: It really, really was.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like if you know your child's currency, what drives them, motivates them, inspires them, you you can get them off that switch.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you can get them to communicate, you can get them to network, and you can get them to stay off of drugs or staying out of trouble.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: It's just like, but you have to find someone's currency, and that goes in any industry, right?
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like as a leader or as a manager or as a boss, it's like if you know your employees' currency, then you know what drives them.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_01: If you know what um a customer's currency is, then you know how to serve them or be hospital uh or or be more hospitable to them and go above and beyond.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's because you understand what their currency is, you know what their love language is.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: And that was just something I learned as a teenager.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, man, that applies really, really well.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um tell me about what her job was, then talk about what what dad did.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: My what my job's my mom's job was.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: My mom was a stay-at-home mom.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and then uh my dad was a uh lawyer and he he did he was a drug attorney, which was awesome because we traveled all the time, like uh uh internationally.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um and uh my mom was just the stay-at-home mom, and my dad uh unfortunately was not the most faithful creature of all time, and hence they split, but I didn't realize that until I was younger.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: Uh and my dad, uh, when he divorced my mom, he basically divorced me.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that was very unfortunate because I thought it was my mom's fault, but then I started to believe that it was my fault.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: And only because I was surrounded by people who supported me and cared about me within the dojo, and especially my martial arts instructor, that and a and a mom who was like, even if I talked badly to her, she was always on my side, um, which was which was amazing.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then later in life I realized what my dad had done and how how awful he was.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: He was a great man, he was a great lawyer, but just not a great dad.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I have to believe that the greatest thing that my dad did is he knew that he wasn't a great dad.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I mean he he knew that he didn't want to be a dad and he didn't want to go to those games every weekend or every three days a week at high school games, and he didn't want to be a part of my life.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_01: And as a result, he basically, in my heart, I believe that he introduced me to someone who knew could be a better father figure to me, and he introduced me to my my martial arts instructor.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_02: How long did it take you to come just to I guess come come to grips that because that's obviously a very mature way to look at it, and I think hopefully there's a a data home that maybe's gone through some adversity in his life that maybe say, Wow, this is kind of an inspiring story.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um, did it take time to be able to kind of get to that?
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_02: And then through that, through that journey, did it like say, Wow, I know I know the dad I want to become based on what I just went through.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, I would say that um my about seven years ago, my dad and my martial arts instructor died in the same month.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: And when they when they did, I started diarying like all these life lessons that I'd learned from both of them, just diary, right?
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: And my entire life, people had been like, Blue, you need to write a book.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like you've done so much, you've traveled internationally, you've taught Olympic athletes, you do uh you've you've experienced so much.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: You're an actor, you're a model, you speak languages, like you have so many fun stories, like write a book.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, I don't want to write a book, I didn't go to school to write a book.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_01: And um, but I started diary and I gave it to a friend.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_01: Uh and I look back now, and it was a blessing in disguise because I was like kind of embarrassed to give him that book, but he or the uh diary, and he read through it and he's like, Blue, this is a book, man.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, You got to get this published, you gotta do it.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and really what happened was it was these life lessons and habits that I learned from my dad and from my martial arts instructor.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_01: And what I was learning from my dad was how not to treat people, how not to act, how not to leave.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: And it was kind of a rich dad, poor dad book.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and my father figure, my martial arts instructor was teaching me all of how to act and how to lead and how to be a good person.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: And so what I basically learned from writing that that diary was that you can learn just as much from bad examples as you can good examples.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes you don't control what's on your plate, but what you do with what's on your plate is what's most important.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I I feel blessed because I wasn't beaten when I was a kid.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_01: We had enough money.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I didn't start out on second base and third base.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's like I started out on first base or sometimes home.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: And depending on whatever the situation was, sometimes I started out in the dugout.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: But I realized like these life lessons and habits that both of these men had taught me were if I wanted to get to first or around uh on back to home, is I just had to surround myself around positive people, optimistic people.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_01: And even if I could see a negative person or a bad influence, I would learn from them.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like I would learn that if you're doing drugs in high school, like you might go to jail, you might get in trouble, your grades might plummet, it might not get you into college, it might, you might do something to somebody else and ruin somebody else's life.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: And it was like, I've learned how not to act.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I started to apply that in everything that I did, like for modeling, for example, it always seemed the bad boy would always get the main jobs, and they'd be like, they would show up late and they would be smoking, and uh, you know, they were cool and they would miss their flight and they'd get paid more than me.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_01: But then I started to notice that if you did that once, it was okay, but then all of a sudden it was like if you wanted a long career in acting and modeling, you had to, you couldn't smoke because then your teeth were yellow.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_01: You had to take care of your body, or otherwise you wouldn't fit in the clothes.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: If you didn't treat all the people around you with kindness, you could talk badly to the craft service, to the director, to the photographer, to the person driving the RV at the location and treat them badly.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_01: And that word gets back to the person who does do the hiring, to your agent or something like that, because you never know when or where you might meet somebody who can affect you or change your life or impact you positively or negatively.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: And so I learned you might as well treat everybody with kindness and move forward with that.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_01: Because if you make other people feel heard, seen, and valued, then that's going to transfer.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: And in a way, all of these life lessons and habits that I had translated down to like a let's say a diary format were just ways that I was learning how to treat other people and how to act and how to succeed at life and to achieve the things that I wanted to achieve.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I realized that if you earn someone's trust, if you made a real and genuine connection with someone else, and you made a community of people around you that you could learn from mentors, that was the secret because it would shave off time, it would put guardrails in, people could say what your strengths and your weaknesses are.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: And it was all about the power of mentorship.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_01: And whether that is a good mentor or a bad one mentor, you can learn from them.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_01: And just to continuously stay curious.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: And that is something that I learned from both of those men.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'm I'm a curiosity psycho.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, I'm upset, I'm obsessed with that word because it just usually solves most problems in life.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_02: And we're we listen to learn versus listen to persuade.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_02: Um I'm curious, I want to go back to your your dad and your and uh and your your sensei.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_02: Do I have that right?
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_02: Did you ever talk to your sensei about your dad and uh the relationship you had with him?
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_02: And did he like how did he handle that?
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just curious.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_02: How do I handle that?
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_01: So well, so my my instructor was my dad's instructor in college, and so he knew him.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, and I remember the day that I met him when I was eight years old, and my father introduced me to him.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_01: So they were they were definitely friends, they knew each other.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um and my as my parents divorced or they started, they separated.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_01: My attitude when I walked into the doors of our dojo, he could read it, right?
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I learned a specific lesson from him, and I will remember this like it was yesterday, like he was speaking to me right now, like I'm speaking to you.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: He said, When you come in these doors, you leave all your problems at that door because you're here to train right now.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_01: And in an hour and a half, when you're done, those problems will still be here.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_01: So don't worry about them until an hour and a half.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_01: Don't let them affect you.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_01: And that that did wonders for me, Casey, because if if I was gonna take a test in high school or in college, it was like, oh my gosh, it's it's nine o'clock at night.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_01: I have a test tomorrow at 8 a.m.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so worried.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so worried.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_01: I'm what am I gonna do?
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: What am I gonna do?
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: And then all of a sudden it's it's 10 o'clock, and then it's midnight, and then it's one o'clock, and it's two o'clock, and I'm so concerned and worried about it.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that test is still gonna be at eight in the morning the next day.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna be there.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_01: So whether I get nine hours of sleep or three hours of sleep, it's not gonna matter, right?
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_01: That it's going to be there.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_01: And it was just this amazing epiphany of like, wow, like don't let it affect you.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_01: You're here to train and just let your mind not be controlled on that.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_01: And you talk about mindset all the time.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's like you can do anything for an hour, you can hold your breath for two minutes or a minute.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, while you're doing that, that's what you're concentrating, and that's basically called focus, right?
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_01: And my instructor taught me how to focus, and he could tell if I was upset or what and he's like, leave that shit at the door.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_01: And so leave it at the door.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_01: When you go, when you're a uh a hostess, like and you have a horrible day, or you're a waitress, you're gonna have a horrible day, or a flight attendant, you have a horrible day.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_01: Leave that at the door.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: Do your job, give your 100% that you can of whatever it is percentage that you are giving.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_01: Give that, your problems will be there right when you get done.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_01: They're not, it's not gonna change.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_01: So, what you do during that hour, that two hours, whatever it is, let that be maybe a relief.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's like going to a movie.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_01: Whenever we go to a movie, it's like all of a sudden your dog dies, you're like, oh, and then you go to a movie and you forget.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: Unless, of course, there's a dog that dies in the movie, which sucks, right?
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_01: But it's like it, it's just this relief.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_01: As soon as the movie's over, you're it's still there, right?
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: But at that point, it just it you just have to let it come to that end.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_01: But you heal during that time because it does take time, and that was one of the biggest lessons I learned from him.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_02: Do you think your kids will get into martial arts?
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: So, yes, they do.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_01: I I have a dojo at my at our home, like a legit dojo.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_01: I have tatami mats down.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_01: It was always my dream to be able to have my own dojo.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I would love for them to be ninjas because I wanted to be a ninja.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought a black belt meant you were a ninja back in the 70s and 80s.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but yes, I want them to be a part of it.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: They do show interest, but I'm not gonna push it.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't believe in pressing them and making them do that.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like I would love for my kids to play baseball like I did or do martial arts, but I'm not gonna let them press it.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna let them find that themselves.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_01: The only thing that I say, and my wife and I believe, is that we have to set our kids up for success.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so I don't want my daughter to depend on some man or woman to be dependent upon them, like financially, physically, whatever.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: I want both of our kids to be able to stand on their own.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_01: And one of those things is to be able to defend yourself.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I think that is important.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_01: And when I was teaching, when I first got into teaching, moving from student to teacher, I had it was funny as as the years passed, I noticed that some girls could really hit really, really hard.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I was usually the recipient of that hard hit in class sometimes, like, oh my God, this woman can like throw a punch, right?
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_01: And and it goes against the norm of where most people think, well, a girl can't hit.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the girls that were in some of my classes were knocking boys silly.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, what is the difference?
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_01: And the difference was the power of their hip.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_01: And somewhere in between A and Z, learning and taking lessons and being in class and staying disciplined and consistent, they learned to engage their hip differently than most people, rather than throwing their shoulder or just their hand.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_01: And so it was important to me as an instructor that any girl and guys that I would have, the power of the hip is so important.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_01: And with my girls, it was the ability to do a push-up, a full real push-up, and to be able to throw a punch, a wicked reverse punch.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so I could, and I taught that.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_01: And it was really neat to be able to see them effectively throw that punch or a kick or to be able to do a full push-up.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_01: And so I wanted to translate that into my daughter.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_01: And so I have passed that on, and she shows interest.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: We do ever since she was like three years old, we were using little little hip techniques, and I would grab her and she would counter them, and just so that she has the the ability to throw the hip into it and to have that coordination.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_01: And so she has that, and she does show interest, but I'm not pressing, I'm letting her find her path.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_01: I will throw, I will throw this out really quick.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_01: As an actor and a model, I I've worked with a lot of the karate kid people, and I know a lot of the guys on the on the cast, and it's karate was so important to me, and it's neat when I'm introducing my kids to my 80s movies, right?
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like my 80s shows, and Cobra Kai has taken off, and it's so impactful now and influential to the younger generations.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like when when my daughter Hayden knows that I know some of these guys, she wants to watch all the movies and she wants to root for the underdog, and even now underdog Johnny, right?
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_01: And she's like, she wants to learn, and so she's being influenced, and I'm not the one pressing it.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_01: So that's kind of cool too.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's just as a roundabout way, she's starting to show that interest.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I hope she does get into it because once again, I want her to be able to defend herself, not just physically, but with everything.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_02: How how many of the stories of uh and the impact that karate had on you have you shared with your kids?
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I've read my book to my daughter um out loud.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and so she knows like the reason I am who I am today is because of my martial arts instructor and all the life lessons and habits that I learned within that dojo.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, she has seen it's really funny.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_01: She sees old videos of me.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I mean, I was on the all-collegiate karate team and the all-world team, and I trained in Tokyo, Japan, and I was at the world headquarters, and it was like, that was a life way before my kids.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm sure most of your listeners, parents have a life before kids, right?
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, oh, you I didn't even, I didn't know my wife skated, right?
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_01: Until well after we were married.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, it's neat to be introduced to these things.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: And so when Hayden sees things like this, or my son sees it, like, dad, you are a ninja.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_01: Not really, right?
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I didn't walk around with my tobby boots and my my black uniform, but it it was very impactful.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_01: And for her to see for them to see that, it's pretty awesome to see videos and and commercials and things of me being able to to do or execute some of these things.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_01: The other thing is the influence from the 80s.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I grew up loving G.I.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_01: Joe, He-Man, uh, and Star Wars.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_01: And it, I, I loved G.I.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_01: Joe, and they had this Cobra ninja named Storm Shadow, and I love that action figure.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_01: And to this day, like, I have pictures of Storm Shadow and I collect star uh uh vintage action figures, and I have them in their box and they're graded, and so that's like a weird, unique nerdness about me.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but they see those and they they they want them too, right?
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_01: And so they're like, Dad, why do you like that character?
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, because I wanted to be that person when I was your age, and I aspired to be that cobra ninja.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_01: And even though it was a villain, you can learn from villains just as much as you can the good guy, right?
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_01: And as a hero.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_01: And so that that was kind of that that introduction to the kids, and they just love it.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_01: And and I I let them run with it.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_02: So now, do you still act, do modeling work?
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_02: Mm-hmm.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I was just in Dallas and I did a commercial.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, I still do it.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_01: Still, still uh, I feel great because this goes back to what we were talking about earlier, is these lessons that I learned about being kind to everybody, it's your relationships and it's your it's basically your identity, right?
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_01: And your brand and your image because it is me.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so with the unique name blue, it's I don't want to be a bad guy.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_01: I want people to talk positively about me.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_01: And over I've done it for 25 years, and it's just I feel great because I'm blessed in the sense that I've been able to do this career for that long.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I've it's just some amazing experience, Casey.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_01: I like, I uh you know, I've traveled the world, I've met so many different people, I have so many great experiences.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_01: I have this resume of all these different jobs that I've done and these brands, these high like international companies, and it's just like these commercials.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_01: I've had all these like aspirations.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_01: I always wanted to be on an underwear box and I nailed that.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_01: I always wanted to be on cover of a magazine, I nailed that.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_01: I wanted to be in a Hollywood movie, nailed that, like a SAG commercial, nailed that.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just like this career has just been so wonderful to me.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I know so many people, uh, and and I'm still friends with so many people.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_01: And so it just keeps on going.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's like the um like Eddie says it's the gift that keeps on giving year-round, Clark.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like I just feel great that I'm able to do that.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_01: And that's just always been a side thing for me, and it has been a career that I've succeeded at, but I'm able to do other things and succeed at other things.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's just it's just icing on the cake.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, I'm Betsy Robinson, CEO of Tier 4 Group, a women-owned and diversity-certified technology recruiting and executive search firm that connects exceptional talent with extraordinary companies in 43 states across the U.S.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: At Tier 4 Group, relationships are at the heart of everything we do.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it's with our clients, our candidates, our vendor partners, or with each other, our mission is to go beyond transactions and create long-lasting partnerships.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_00: We don't just help companies find talent, we help them find the right talent.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_00: And that starts with truly understanding our clients and candidates.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just about filling roles, it's about fostering success for the long term.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_00: This is the recipe for success that's landed us on the Inc.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_00: 5000 six consecutive years and has us outpacing our competition across the country.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm thrilled to support Casey Jaccox's podcast.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_00: Casey's philosophy aligns perfectly with ours, prioritizing relationships over transactions.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_00: His insights on building trust, empathy, and connection resonate deeply with the way we do business at Tier 4 Group.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_00: We were honored to have Casey as our keynote in our 2024 kickoff, and all of our new hires read his book, When the Relationship, Not the Deal, when they start here with us.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're looking for a partner who values relationships as much as results, visit us at tier4group.com or connect with me, Betsy Robinson, directly on LinkedIn.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_00: And while you're at it, keep tuning in to Casey's podcast.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_00: You'll walk away inspired to strengthen your own relationships, both personally and professionally.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_00: And as Casey always says, stay curious.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_02: So how does someone go from actor model to then strength coach and then to the work you're doing now?
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_02: I curious that journey.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's super simple.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um I wanted to do international corporate law.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I right after high school, I worked at a dive shop for my host family in Mexico.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I knew enough Japanese that my host father was like, Can you bring in the Japanese tourist to come to the dive shop?
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_01: And so I did, and I enjoyed it so much learning a different language.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of people don't realize this that Spanish and Japanese are very similar, uh, not writing-wise, but they're it's the same vowels.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so it's A, I, U, E, O.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's a very similar language to learn.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_01: And when I came back to uh from Mexico, I was like, well, what are the best Japanese programs?
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_01: And it was either NYU, Hawaii University, or UW.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_01: And since I was paying for college myself, I decided to go to UW, got into the Japanese program, uh, went into got into business school.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I failed that twice getting in, uh, which sucks because that's you talk about overcoming a rejection.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but then I uh double degreed and then I transferred to a college in Tokyo and I got an economics degree and I was on the all-world karate team and an all-collegiate team.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought I want to do international corporate law.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_01: I came back to the States, I was ready, I was studying for the LSAT GMAT, I was ready to go.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_01: And so uh a friend of mine told me she was like, You should teach martial arts at all the golds gym where she worked.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um and I was like, all right, so I did, but in order to do so, I had to become certified as a personal trainer.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_01: And in the first two months, I beat every record for sales, both nationally and internationally, at golds.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_01: And it was not because I was a good trainer, it was because I earned the people's trust in the in the uh gym.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_01: I made a real and genuine connection with them, and then I brought them into a community where they all felt like they are a part of something and like they heard, seen, valued, and and like they belong to something, like Brene Brown talks about.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_01: And it was before CrossFit started, so it was like I brought that community feeling in, and I just had applied what I had learned when I was eight years old until I was 18 from my martial arts instructor and what that dojo community felt like.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_01: And that was why I was successful at it.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_01: And so I gave up on doing international corporate law.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_01: I had so much fun at it.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_01: I started my own studio, I started my own website, and during my process of that, somebody I was found by my modeling agency in Seattle and my acting agency.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_01: And then I was able to pick that career up.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_01: I was able to be a strength coach to Olympic athletes.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and then I started doing close-quarter combat tactics for different military units and police units and SWAT groups.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_01: And it has just been, once again, was one of those amazing careers where people were like, you should really write a book.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_01: And that's how I transitioned.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_01: And then as as a result, I uh I had always been speaking to groups, like whether it was 10 Navy SEALs or uh 150 Olympic athletes or whoever it was, I was in front of people speaking.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_01: And when my instructor died and my dad died, I started writing this book.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, maybe I should speak on these life lessons because I have so much fun and I'm able to impact more than just one person or just a class, right?
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_01: And so I moved out, I gave up the shirt of being a personal trainer and a strength coach, and now I just speak to the masses.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm still a teacher, right?
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_01: And every assessment test I took as a kid was said, you're gonna be a teacher.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to be a teacher, man.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_01: I grew up watching stand by me and uh uh lean on me and stand and deliver, right?
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I do not want to be a teacher.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_01: But when I take a step back, I didn't realize like teacher doesn't mean I have to just be in front of 30 kids at a in a junior high or a high school or writing on the board.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_01: It was like I teach from a different kind of platform of stage.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_01: And so that is how I transitioned into becoming a keynote speaker, and I have so much fun at it because I get to travel, I get to bring my kids now.
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I impact so many people, and it's just this giant tributary group of rivers that are coming together to give me my happiness, and it fills my bucket of being able to spread that optimism.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and whether that is about being a good parent, whether that's being um a good leader or a boss, it's like I just feel so happy to fill my bucket with all of the different careers that I have.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_02: So cool.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I think I've I've you're the first person in 300 and something episodes where we're checks the karate box, the speaker box, the author box, the modeling box, and so uh and that's what I love about meeting different dads is all those cool things.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_02: The the thing that we have to remind ourselves is that we all have the same job pedal, which is a dad, and how we're working hard to become, you know, obviously the ultimate quarterback or leader of our home.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um as you think about your dad journey, Blue.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_02: Um, tell me an area your dad game that maybe is not your best, that might speak to another dad at home that might be struggling with something like, you know, for me, sometimes I always have to watch my patience as a dad, a competitive guy.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um, tell me what is what's an area your dad game that um you know you're you're working hard to come better that might speak to the audience at home.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_01: Well, this'll this will go into two things.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_01: I am physical and athletic enough at my age that I can still jump it and I can get down the ground and I can play with them.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um I I love to go to the parks with them and not have my phone out and sit on the bench, but actually go down the slides and play tag.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel so blessed that I'm able to do that physically and my wife too.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and so being able to show that energy and and be able to show it like give them real focus and intent time, intentful time with them is is awesome.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_01: What I find that I fail at is that um I think that this took me listening to uh Neil deGrasse Tyson once, where he talked about, he goes, you know, kids don't get into math and science anymore because we always helicopter over them and we tell them, like, that's wrong, that's no, whoa, that's that.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_01: And he goes, when a kid has an egg and they have the egg, the parent says, no, no, don't play with that.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_01: Don't, no, no, no, no, you're gonna drop it, it's gonna spill, and it's gonna be everywhere.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, because we know that's what's gonna happen, right?
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_01: It's and now it's a dollar an egg, right?
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_01: It used to be a quarter, but it's gonna be nasty, and you're gonna have to wash your hands, it might get all over your counter, it might get on your clothes, and you're just like you know it's gonna be a 12-minute thing if they drop this egg.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, stop.
• 41:51
  SPEAKER_01: Live in the let them experiment, let them break it, let them realize, ooh, this is nasty, and ooh, this is what gets in my hair, and oh, this and that.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_01: And when I heard him say that, it really made me check myself and realize like, I can't say no all the time.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_01: I've got to let them kind of learn to fail, learn to learn to go through that.
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_01: And so letting them play and man, our son is so much more active than our and him.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_01: It's like if he wants to jump off the jungle gym like Spider-Man, go for it, right?
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_01: Go for it.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_01: If you're gonna break a leg, you're gonna learn it.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like it is what it is.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_01: But it's like through our failures, we learn how to become better or we become stronger.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I speak on that, and so why can't I do that with our kids?
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's really, I've had to take a step back.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_01: But it took his uh his little YouTube video that I saw him say that.
• 42:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, man, I think I could do a better job at just letting them experiment.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_01: And every time that they do that now, I always say, an experiment, it's just an experiment.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_01: Let them do it, let them find out what it's like to fall, let them find out what it's like to hurt themselves or put their hands through the wall.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_01: And it just alleviates the stress off of me.
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just like, okay, and yeah, maybe I'll have to clean it up, but it's a dollar egg.
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's just 10 minutes out of my time.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_01: So being a little more patient, being able to let and have a trigger.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_01: And a trigger works in everything, whether it's like for martial arts, like what do you say right before you bow and you go into the competition, right before you get under the barbell and you're gonna lift and you're gonna like, oh, what am I gonna do?
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_01: What are you gonna do when you walk into uh uh to ask for a promotion or when you go into a job interview?
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_01: What is the mantra?
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_01: What is the little trigger that you say to yourself, the self-talk, the self-belief that you say?
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_01: And when I have an issue with my kids, I'm like, it's an experiment.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_01: Just let it go.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_01: You know, just let it go and be patient.
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that I am that's a constant thing for me.
• 43:45
  SPEAKER_01: But when I heard that, I was like, man, that spoke one.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_01: That that was my currency right there.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_01: And it came from Neil uh degrass Tyson.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_02: It's um it's funny when you're saying that, you made me think of what I learned in 2020 when you know, right when the COVID hit and we're all shut down, or everybody's you know, working from home, and we went through that journey.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_02: And um, I actually had a guest guy name of um Sven Nader, and he wrote a book called You Have Not Taught Until They Have Learned.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_02: Uh and Swen played for um uh coach, some people might have heard of a guy named John Wooden.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_02: He had a little bit of a successful career, just eight Nash TAM chips, no biggie.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_02: Uh obviously sarcasm.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_02: But um when I read that book, it just it hit me, it was like, wow, I am we are the parents that are doing too much for our kids.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_02: And the story we were telling ourselves is, well, we're busy, we got this, we got that, you know, this practice, but it was like, but we're we're starving them, where we're we're with holding all these learning opportunities, you know, and as you're telling that story, I you made me think of I was flashed back to like when I was in you know the you know early 80s when back in the swings where you'd like swing as high as you can and then you'd you'd let go and see how far you can go.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, how dumb is that?
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, dumb.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like me up when I did the same thing.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, freaking straight evil can evil stuff, and but I didn't get hurt.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_02: Somehow I learned how to you know land and like roll into the fall so you don't like break your leg.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_02: But I'm like, but they let us do it.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_02: And now if we did it, we'd be like, okay, do you have your helmet on and shoulder pads and hip pads and cup on?
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, it's like it sometimes just let them.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_02: It's yeah, I think I think there's that's obviously a balance.
• 45:22
  SPEAKER_02: There's you know, you obviously hey, jump off the Columbia Tower, see if you can stick landing.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_02: But if if the the egg example is a perfect example, it's like so who gives a shit if the egg breaks.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_01: Let them when you put it when you put it into those terms, it really it was an analogy that uh and an experience that I was able to relate to really well.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, man, I really need to, it's not a power trip, it's just it's just being a little more patient and realizing like in the end, at the end of the day, it doesn't just matter, right?
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_01: It it just doesn't matter.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_01: And my friend Russ Bannham said that.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just like in the end of the day, it just doesn't matter.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like, let them experiment.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_01: And when you tell that, it's just like, oh wow, that's relief, and just let them play.
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_01: I I also want to say another fun thing about um about teaching kids, right?
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_01: Like you the kid asks for your attention constantly, like, and that they're like, dad, dad, can you do this?
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_01: Dad, dad, can you do this?
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, oh, I'm busy, I'm I'm on my phone, I'm I'm busy, I I need to do this.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's like they're begging for your attention, even when it's important, put the phone down, listen to them.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_01: And if they you're like, oh, they're gonna want to play this game for an hour, it really doesn't last an hour.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_01: It's usually only about 10 minutes.
• 46:38
  SPEAKER_01: Their attention span is so limited.
• 46:40
  SPEAKER_01: And knowing that, going into advance as an adult, knowing that their attention span is not gonna be a full hour, they just want that attention right now, just for a little bit.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_01: They want to feel important, they want to feel like you care.
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, put it down and just give them the attention just for that 10 to 15 minutes, then they're gonna move on.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_01: They're like later, dude, and you're like, oh, okay, now I can go back.
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_01: But it really takes that, you know, it really takes just realizing like be present for your child and and put that intent and focus.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_01: And uh, one of the I bring this up in my speeches all the time.
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_01: It's about paying attention to, let's say, your client or paying attention to your customer or your team or your employees.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's like focus on them, intently listen to them, actively listen to them.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I learned that from Mr.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_01: Rogers, man.
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_01: You talk about being in the 70s, and it all he did was look eye to eye to a child, get down on their level and listen intently to them.
• 47:35
  SPEAKER_01: And it was all about the kid.
• 47:36
  SPEAKER_01: And man, Mr.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_01: Rogers still sticks with me.
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_01: I don't wear the cardigan sweater, but I'll tell you what.
• 47:42
  SPEAKER_01: Between thinking about those life lessons, how my instructor taught me, how my dad taught me how not to treat people, the support system of my mom believing in me had just made me that much better of a dad.
• 47:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because it's it's just focusing on your child and and being present.
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I I know that we had we had tried to discuss this last time.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_01: Uh if you if we have a couple more minutes, I'd love to tell you about my baseball card story.
• 48:09
  unknown: Yeah.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_01: So you talk about a parent who no matter what supports you.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I believe that that spreads wonders.
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_01: That the return on investment on that is is on you, you'll never know the impact until later in life.
• 48:25
  SPEAKER_01: And you can look back and say, wow.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel thankful that I can still because my mom is still here and I can tell her what an impact she made with my instructor, knowing my currency, knowing someone that could do that, but then also to support me, to be able to have a parent that supports you no matter what, is the return on that investment is unknown until later in life.
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_01: And for me, growing up in the in the 80s, baseball cards were everything, right?
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_01: And everybody was collecting it, it was like Pokemon on Androids, and everyone in your school was trading them back and forth.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_01: You had the Beckett Monthly, and you were looking up the prices, and it was just so fun to go to school and trade cards and then who your favorite player was.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_01: And in Spokane, we had Ryan Sandberg, we had Mark Rippen, we had John Stockton, we had like all these huge athletes that were like MVPs, and it was like it was so awesome to love those guys and trade their cards.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_01: And um, everyone knew uh that uh I hated chocolate.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so when I went to school, you if you remember this, you had the three different kinds of milk.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_01: You had the red kind, the blue kind, and the brown kind.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_01: And everybody wanted the brown kind because that was chocolate milk.
• 49:31
  SPEAKER_01: And a buddy of mine said, Hey, I'll give you 50 cents for every milk you don't drink.
• 49:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Well, that's no problem.
• 49:36
  SPEAKER_01: I don't need it.
• 49:37
  SPEAKER_01: Let's forget for a second that our parents actually bought that.
• 49:40
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, but I sold it to them for 50 cents, and so I sold it to them.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_01: Then I went home that day and I walked and I went into a convenience store and I bought two packs of baseball cards.
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_01: They're 25 cents each.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so I bought them, but I forgot about them, went to school the next day, and these kids noticed that I had these two packs of unopened cards, and they were like, Oh, yeah, that's the good stuff.
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_01: I can open them, pack, and trade them.
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I didn't care.
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_01: So they offered me 50 cents for both of those.
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I sold those two and I sold my chocolate milk and I had a buck and a half.
• 50:07
  SPEAKER_01: Went to the same convenience store and now I bought six packs.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_01: I will save the viewers the math, but uh by day eight, I was making$80 a day at school.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I did that for almost a month, where I had to hit multiple stores and gas stations in order to buy enough cards to fill the demand.
• 50:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I did that for a month until the principal caught wind of what I was doing.
• 50:27
  SPEAKER_01: He was like, Blue, you can't sell drugs or sports cards out of your locker.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_01: And honestly, I was a little taken aback because I was pretty happy with my locker commerce.
• 50:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like I thought I'd done a pretty good job.
• 50:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I liked making money.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_01: And so um, I told that story to our dojo and one of the guys there, he was like, Blue, go get a business license.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, well, what does that mean?
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_01: He took me down to downtown Spokane, got a business license.
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_01: And in the 80s, uh, almost every month there was a major card show that was going on at like the hotels.
• 50:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so my mom would drive me and I would sell all of these cards at these card shows.
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'd buy a table or two tables or three tables, and I would sell my friends' cards at commission.
• 51:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so I had no overhead, I had no employees, and I was out selling adults.
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I would never have done that if someone within my confidence team is what I call it, a support system, a mentor, told me that I could join the adult world, but I had to take a chance and go get a business license.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_01: And it never would have happened if I didn't have my mom who supported me and drove me to all those things, whether it was in Portland or Seattle or all over Spokane or in Idaho.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I did that.
• 51:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I did that for a couple of years until my grades started to drop.
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_01: And my instructor said, if your grades aren't up, you're not gonna train.
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_01: And money was not my currency, it was training, right?
• 51:45
  SPEAKER_01: And so I gave it up, and I'm glad I did because that was a blessing in disguise.
• 51:48
  SPEAKER_01: That no, that rejection, because the sports cards market dropped well after right after that, and they became worthless.
• 51:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so those awesome 89 upper deck Ken Griffey Jr.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_01: number one cards that were worth 250 bucks or became worthless, right?
• 52:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's like they were like a buck fifty now.
• 52:04
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what they're at, but they had overproduced them.
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_01: But I got out of the market just in time, uh, but not before I had accumulated enough to be able to pay for my entire college education at UW, and then be able to have enough left over for my two future kids' college education too, by the time I was 14.
• 52:22
  SPEAKER_01: So that never would have happened if I had not had the support of my mom.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um she just jumped on board and supported me, even though getting up early every morning on a Saturday and driving me to those card conventions, like it, she just went above and beyond.
• 52:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I would tell that to any parent that if your kid is interested in anything, support it.
• 52:44
  SPEAKER_01: No matter how stupid it sounds, or how irregular or drama or or like banned or anything, like support your child, support them and give them because they they want nothing more than your support and your trust and your relationship, and they want to impress you and and and make you happy.
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like knowing how important it was that I got that from my mom and how badly I wanted it from my dad, and I was not getting it, just set me up for success as a dad because I realized the the power of that support.
• 53:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I would advise that to any parent out there.
• 53:21
  SPEAKER_01: It's like go all in and support your child, even if it means getting dirty and breaking an egg or two, or learning how to ride a horse.
• 53:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like just go in at it and be a part of your child's life because there's nothing better in this world than to be a part of you had mentioned it, your squad.
• 53:38
  SPEAKER_01: Man, I live for being able to successfully be with my kids.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_01: And people ask me all the time, like, what is success to you?
• 53:44
  SPEAKER_01: Is it is it money?
• 53:45
  SPEAKER_01: Is it whatever?
• 53:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I I have these dreams of, oh, it'd be nice if you had a nice like uh dream, you know, an air jet or something like that.
• 53:54
  SPEAKER_01: But that's not success to me.
• 53:56
  SPEAKER_01: What success to me is, is being able to pick my kids up at school every day, being able to have dinner every night as a family.
• 54:03
  SPEAKER_01: And somewhere along the way, I learned those lessons, and so did my wife.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what we try to share with our kids.
• 54:09
  SPEAKER_01: And that is success, being able to listen to them.
• 54:13
  SPEAKER_01: When you're driving, listen to your kids in the back and just picking up on all those little things, and then being able to give the advice if they ask for it and to support them in anything that they do.
• 54:22
  SPEAKER_01: And that translates in everything from parenting to your job through business sales entrepreneur.
• 54:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's like listen to the person in front of you and and actively listen to them because it's more important to them to be heard, right?
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_01: And if you understand their currency, if you know what their love languages is, it's just gonna make you a better sales rep.
• 54:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna make you a better parent, it's gonna make you a better boss, it's gonna make you a better leader.
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_01: And that would be my advice.
• 54:49
  SPEAKER_02: Love it.
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_02: Blue, tell us how we can learn more about you and the work you do.
• 54:54
  SPEAKER_01: I my website is blue styly.com.
• 54:57
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, you can get my books on Amazon, you can get it through our website at blue style.com.
• 55:03
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I'm on LinkedIn.
• 55:04
  SPEAKER_01: That is my heaviest platform.
• 55:06
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, LinkedIn, especially in the speaking realm or author business.
• 55:10
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and that's what I would suggest.
• 55:12
  SPEAKER_01: Whether uh LinkedIn, I like love to connect.
• 55:14
  SPEAKER_01: I do reach out to people.
• 55:15
  SPEAKER_01: You can listen to my podcast, the Blue Style Podcast.
• 55:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you were a guest on there.
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but just connect with me because I love to hear people's stories just like you do.
• 55:25
  SPEAKER_02: Very cool.
• 55:26
  SPEAKER_02: We will make sure this is all linked in the uh in the show notes.
• 55:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um, everybody go check out the book, The Sum of Four.
• 55:32
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's it's a fantastic read.
• 55:34
  SPEAKER_02: The story uh um Blue talked about in the in the big in the beginning of this episode of uh his sensei saying, bro, do not talk to your mom about that.
• 55:43
  SPEAKER_02: That that is that is that story was familiar to me because it's in the book and it was almost just as good to hear the second time even when I read it the first time, but having him say it again is great.
• 55:52
  SPEAKER_02: And um one thing you'll love uh you'll find in the book that I think is great is a lot of exercises, there's a lot of um spots to journal and to really apply the the the learnings that that Blue learned that we as the uh audience can learn too.
• 56:06
  SPEAKER_02: Um Blue, it's now time to go into what I call the lightning round, uh, which is where I uh show you the negative hits of taking too many uh hits in college, not bong hits, but football hits.
• 56:17
  SPEAKER_02: And your your job is to uh answer these questions as quickly as you can.
• 56:21
  SPEAKER_02: My job is my job is to uh to try to get a giggle out of you.
• 56:26
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, go for it.
• 56:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm ready when you are.
• 56:29
  SPEAKER_01: My giggling is ready to go, my smile's set.
• 56:32
  SPEAKER_01: I'm optimistic already, I'm a I'm an extrovert, so go for it.
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_02: Uh true or false, the movie Karate Kid was inspired after your life.
• 56:42
  SPEAKER_02: False.
• 56:43
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 56:44
  SPEAKER_02: Um who's gonna win in a in a fight?
• 56:46
  SPEAKER_02: You or Danielson?
• 56:48
  SPEAKER_02: Me.
• 56:49
  SPEAKER_02: How about you and Johnny?
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_03: Put him in a body bag, Johnny.
• 56:54
  SPEAKER_01: Most people uh refuse if that's him, but that's that that is.
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_01: I would say still me.
• 57:00
  SPEAKER_01: He actually just turned 60.
• 57:01
  SPEAKER_02: He just turned 60 today.
• 57:04
  SPEAKER_02: No way.
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um, if you were to go on vacation right now, just you and your wife, where are you taking her?
• 57:09
  SPEAKER_01: She really wants to go to Hawaii right now, or the post hotel in Leavenworth.
• 57:13
  SPEAKER_01: So it's a it's a mix on both of those, but we've never gone to Sydney, Australia together.
• 57:18
  SPEAKER_01: So those are three different ones.
• 57:20
  SPEAKER_01: But I would say I take her to the post hotel.
• 57:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's almost her anniversary, so I think that would be it.
• 57:26
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 57:26
  SPEAKER_02: Favorite comedy movie of all time is National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.
• 57:32
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 57:34
  SPEAKER_02: Shitter's full.
• 57:35
  SPEAKER_02: Um great movie.
• 57:37
  SPEAKER_02: Too many good one-liners in that movie.
• 57:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um there, bro.
• 57:41
  SPEAKER_01: Major League is up there.
• 57:43
  SPEAKER_02: I can quote that movie nonstop.
• 57:46
  SPEAKER_02: Up your butt, Joe Boo.
• 57:48
  SPEAKER_01: Bartball, Ricky.
• 57:51
  SPEAKER_01: We should have got a whole chicken, a live chicken.
• 57:55
  SPEAKER_02: All right, now uh not to derail our audience because I could keep going 80s comedy movies with you forever.
• 58:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um last book you read was oh, that's awesome.
• 58:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's called Win the Relationship, Not the Deal by Casey Jacobs right here in my hand.
• 58:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I will I will throw you under the bus.
• 58:13
  SPEAKER_01: Bro, I learned so much about you, but then I have these fun little, I like doggier things all the time.
• 58:20
  SPEAKER_01: But when I reverse it from the bottom up, it means that it really impacted me.
• 58:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I have 12 of those out of your book.
• 58:26
  SPEAKER_01: And so as a motivational keynote speaker, like it is so important, and it's we stay curious, and it's like I can learn from anybody, and our kids can learn from anybody, and it's like being able to stay curious and to continuously grow because school does not end the day that we graduate.
• 58:45
  SPEAKER_01: And man, your book was full of some nuggets, and I took with it, and so kudos to you.
• 58:51
  SPEAKER_02: I did not know he's gonna say it, everybody, but I'm I'm I'm humbled and honored.
• 58:55
  SPEAKER_02: He said it.
• 58:56
  SPEAKER_02: Um, okay.
• 58:58
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, if there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title: Learning to Go Above and Beyond.
• 59:03
  SPEAKER_02: Or Dark Side for Life.
• 59:06
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay.
• 59:07
  SPEAKER_02: I like it.
• 59:08
  SPEAKER_01: Why the bad guys are way cooler than the good guys, but just as impactful.
• 59:12
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 59:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um, okay, now both those titles you pick, but believe it or not, Hollywood, your acting career's taken off, the book's taken off, speaking's taken off.
• 59:21
  SPEAKER_02: Now they're now like next level hub with saying, frick, we gotta make a movie about this dude.
• 59:26
  SPEAKER_02: We gotta make a movie about this story.
• 59:28
  SPEAKER_02: And so now you can't be you, Blue, but I need to know who's gonna star you in this critically acclaimed hit new movie about your life, about the book.
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_02: Who's gonna star you?
• 59:36
  SPEAKER_01: Are we at the age or what age are we playing at?
• 59:39
  SPEAKER_02: You can pick whoever you want, any time frame.
• 59:41
  SPEAKER_02: That's the beauty of this question.
• 59:42
  SPEAKER_02: You get a your your your world.
• 59:45
  SPEAKER_01: Man, I would go with Keanu Reeves with me right now, like if it's this age.
• 59:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like, let's go with Keanu.
• 59:51
  SPEAKER_02: You kind of I could see you could do a look alike with Keanu a little bit if you grew the hair out a little bit.
• 59:56
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 59:56
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and then for uh maybe 10 years.
• 1:00:00
  SPEAKER_01: Years ago, let's go with the guy who plays Reacher right now.
• 1:00:02
  SPEAKER_01: I don't I don't remember his name.
• 1:00:04
  SPEAKER_01: He's a newer actor.
• 1:00:05
  SPEAKER_01: He's in Reacher.
• 1:00:07
  SPEAKER_01: But man, Arnold Schwarzenegger would be the coolest is like a much older.
• 1:00:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like in let's say that I'm a grandfather.
• 1:00:14
  SPEAKER_01: I would want him to play that.
• 1:00:16
  SPEAKER_01: So good.
• 1:00:16
  SPEAKER_01: And then yeah, I think that's I think that's it.
• 1:00:19
  SPEAKER_01: I think Matt Damon is is probably a little younger.
• 1:00:22
  SPEAKER_01: Uh Matt Damon, I think I would fit into.
• 1:00:25
  SPEAKER_02: So good.
• 1:00:26
  SPEAKER_02: Many good choices.
• 1:00:27
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 1:00:27
  SPEAKER_02: And the last and most important question tell me two words that would describe your wife.
• 1:00:31
  SPEAKER_02: I tried to throw in better than me, but that didn't work.
• 1:00:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um kind and supportive.
• 1:00:39
  SPEAKER_02: Boom.
• 1:00:40
  SPEAKER_02: Lightning round is complete.
• 1:00:41
  SPEAKER_02: Uh we both giggled.
• 1:00:43
  SPEAKER_02: Uh appreciate the stories you shared, appreciate the vulnerable, appreciate the vulnerability you shared, appreciate um the wisdom and the power, positivity you bring into stages, into companies, into communities.
• 1:00:54
  SPEAKER_02: And we will make sure that everything about you blue is linked in the show notes.
• 1:00:59
  SPEAKER_02: And I hope that not only if there's a dad or mom out there, you learned about things you can apply in your own life to become a better parent.
• 1:01:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but if you're an executive, if you're a leader and you want to pick up the summer four, you want to learn more about the blue style podcast, please check the links below.
• 1:01:13
  SPEAKER_02: We'll make sure he's linked.
• 1:01:15
  SPEAKER_02: Um Chad, I'm grateful you introduced me and you, uh Blue, and I'm grateful I'll pass across.
• 1:01:21
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, I'll offer your listeners a discount for the code if you get it through blue style.com or thesum of four.com.
• 1:01:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's Cobra Kai, spelled just like the show.
• 1:01:29
  SPEAKER_01: Uh that's a little shout out to them.
• 1:01:31
  SPEAKER_01: But Cobra Kai is a discount code to help out.
• 1:01:34
  SPEAKER_01: But it has been an absolute pleasure to get to know you, Casey, uh, and hear your story.
• 1:01:39
  SPEAKER_01: And thank you for allowing a platform for me to be able to speak as a dad, because man, I think we're all learning from each other.
• 1:01:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel blessed that uh I'm an older dad and I'm able to, you know, not have that resentment or like I feel like I've missed out in life.
• 1:01:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's like I'm able to look back and say, you know what, I want a better life for my kids.
• 1:02:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um and just be able to be that little bit more patient with them uh and just learning to be able to give back to them because it's all about them now, right?
• 1:02:09
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like when we're gone, it's gonna be the legacy that we pass along to them.
• 1:02:13
  SPEAKER_01: And thank you for being a part of my life and and allowing me to be able to share this message because I would advise anybody if you want to reach out.
• 1:02:20
  SPEAKER_01: I am available.
• 1:02:21
  SPEAKER_01: I love to connect with people and share your story because you're not alone.
• 1:02:25
  SPEAKER_01: You're not the only person to ever have a kid break an egg.
• 1:02:28
  SPEAKER_01: You are not the only person to ever have a kid who um has is injured or has an impairment or something like that.
• 1:02:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's like there are so many of us that have these different issues and we can all learn from each other.
• 1:02:39
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what I love about your message, Case, is that it's like you're teaching dads and parents and grandparents to be better, right?
• 1:02:47
  SPEAKER_01: Because we should always want to be better and we should stay curious because if we are better and we do stay curious, it just makes our community that much better.
• 1:02:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and it makes our neighbors better, and it makes our country better and our world better.
• 1:03:01
  SPEAKER_01: And so I would advise that reach out and be better.
• 1:03:05
  SPEAKER_02: Love it.
• 1:03:06
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you, brother.
• 1:03:06
  SPEAKER_02: Appreciate your time.
• 1:03:07
  SPEAKER_02: I know our paths will cross again soon.
• 1:03:09
  SPEAKER_02: And thank you guys, everybody, for listening.
• 1:03:10
  SPEAKER_02: And we'll see you next week on another episode of the quarterback deckast.