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Why you should take a 'say no' retreat · Silver FM 100.6

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  Speaker 1: Three years after October 7th and the start of the
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  Speaker 1: war in Gaza, Israelis have a chance to elect a
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  Speaker 1: new leader. Droves of expats are flying back to cast ballots.
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  Speaker 2: The existence of Israel is at stake here.
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  Speaker 3: If I came all the way from America, you could
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  Speaker 3: go downstairs and vote.
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  Speaker 1: This week on The Sunday Story, what Israelis want for
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  Speaker 1: the future. Listen now to The Sunday Story from the
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  Speaker 3: I had to kind of say no to myself last night.
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  Speaker 3: I get in a a mood when I come home
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  Speaker 3: from traveling where I'm like, okay, time for more home improvement.
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  Speaker 2: I was saying to.
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  Speaker 3: My partner, like, I think we should paint this wall.
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  Speaker 3: I think we should paint this wall. Should we redo
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  Speaker 3: the whole bedroom? And I was like, you know what?
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  Speaker 3: I don't need to do this.
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  Speaker 2: No, I just think I'll just go to bed. But
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  Speaker 2: you know what? It's interesting. You tapped into something there.
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  Speaker 4: You've demonstrated you were in a way on a little
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  Speaker 4: mini retreat away from your space. You come back and
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  Speaker 4: you can see with clarity a few things. But as
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  Speaker 4: you said, you did yourself the favor of thinking, actually,
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  Speaker 4: I don't have the energy ultimately. I'm just going to
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  Speaker 4: put that idea on pause and go to bed.
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  Speaker 3: Hey, it's Marielle Segata. You're listening to Life Kit. And
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  Speaker 3: that was Caroline Silga, author of the book, How to Retreat,
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  Speaker 3: a guide to stepping away from the everyday to find
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  Speaker 3: space for yourself.
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  Speaker 4: Retreating is there to serve you in different ways throughout
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  Speaker 4: your life. It's not just something you do once. It's
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  Speaker 4: like a repetitive thing. that you can do according to
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  Speaker 4: different themes and needs.
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  Speaker 3: A lot of people, when they hear the word retreat,
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  Speaker 3: they think they have to go to some far-flung place,
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  Speaker 3: do some yoga, and get away from it all completely. Yes.
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  Speaker 3: And if that's not available to them in their day-to-day
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  Speaker 3: or week-to-week life, then they probably aren't thinking that a
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  Speaker 3: retreat is possible.
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  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
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  Speaker 4: So that's what I wanted to do, is reclaim retreating
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  Speaker 4: for everyone. So I have been retreating myself in various
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  Speaker 4: ways for over 30 years. And over that time, I
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  Speaker 4: have picked up some key principles, which I feel make
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  Speaker 4: a really wonderful, immersive experience, whatever your life goals might be.
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  Speaker 4: So I wanted to bring retreating into everyone's lives and
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  Speaker 4: make it something that was accessible, that you didn't need
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  Speaker 4: a kind of high class luxury spa to do. And
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  Speaker 4: that that you could do actually even if you just
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  Speaker 4: have a simple hour in a day.
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  Speaker 3: Caroline says retreating is about stepping away from your day-to-day life,
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  Speaker 3: from the stresses and strains of society, so that when
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  Speaker 3: you return, you can flourish. And how long does it
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  Speaker 3: take to properly retreat?
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  Speaker 4: I think that you can retreat, in inverted commas, for
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  Speaker 4: as little as 20 minutes, to be honest. I have
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  Speaker 4: a Vedic meditation practice that I do twice daily now.
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  Speaker 4: I've been doing For over four years, 20 minutes in
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  Speaker 4: the morning, 20 minutes in the afternoon.
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  Speaker 2: And for me, that is a daily retreat.
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  Speaker 4: Obviously, the more time and energy you put into something,
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  Speaker 4: depending on what your goals are, the more depth you'll.
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  Speaker 2: Get out of it.
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  Speaker 3: Caroline walks through lots of different possible themes for retreats
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  Speaker 3: in her book. But the one that grabbed me in
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  Speaker 3: this moment was the Say No retreat.
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  Speaker 2: Do you know what? I want to say that you
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  Speaker 2: really did pull my favorite. I love Say No.
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  Speaker 3: In the book, you suggest this as a one-day retreat.
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  Speaker 3: You say that this can help us reclaim ourselves. What
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  Speaker 3: does that mean?
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  Speaker 4: I think one of the things in our society that
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  Speaker 4: we need more of is time, energy, and space.
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  Speaker 2: And I do believe that.
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  Speaker 4: One way of doing that is is to be able
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  Speaker 4: to say no to things with grace and good humour
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  Speaker 4: that really do not serve us.
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  Speaker 2: And I see people.
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  Speaker 4: Around me in my everyday who continually say yes to things,
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  Speaker 4: particularly women, and say yes to things for different reasons,
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  Speaker 4: because they feel they should or they must or they
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  Speaker 4: want to feel loved. more liked or more accepted or
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  Speaker 4: they don't want to miss out or they just don't
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  Speaker 4: feel equipped to be able to say no when actually
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  Speaker 4: if they did learn how to say no to things
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  Speaker 4: that aren't serving them then they could have more energy
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  Speaker 4: time and space to say yes to all the stuff
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  Speaker 4: they want to say yes to and that will serve
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  Speaker 4: them and their families and those around them as well.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah it just reminds me how much other people have
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  Speaker 3: priorities everyone in the world has priorities Including for you, like,
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  Speaker 3: we need you to do this. We need you to
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  Speaker 3: do this. I need you to show up to that.
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  Speaker 3: They're just thinking about how you fit into their priorities.
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  Speaker 3: And if you don't think about your own, if you
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  Speaker 3: don't carve out that space, then next thing you know,
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  Speaker 3: you're just like trying to meet everyone else's needs. And
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  Speaker 3: you're not even thinking of yourself as a person anymore.
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  Speaker 2: That's right.
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  Speaker 4: Saying yes when you really mean no can lead to
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  Speaker 4: situations that actually do drain you. It's saying that your
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  Speaker 4: time and energy are endless and that your wellbeing doesn't matter.
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  Speaker 4: And that just creates a spiral because once you say
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  Speaker 4: yes to something, then someone says, oh, you know, they're
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  Speaker 4: good for that.
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  Speaker 2: I'll get them next time. I'll do that.
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  Speaker 4: And so you go on and on and you start
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  Speaker 4: creating this loop. The other exciting thing that happens is
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  Speaker 4: that when you start to say no to things in
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  Speaker 4: an honourable, kind, clearly thought through way, you can inspire
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  Speaker 4: others to follow suit again, On the best terms. So
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  Speaker 4: I used to, for example, say to people that I
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  Speaker 4: was working when actually I was having a massage or
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  Speaker 4: going for a swim or going for a walk to
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  Speaker 4: take care of my well-being. But I thought saying I
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  Speaker 4: was working would be more acceptable. But then as I
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  Speaker 4: slowly started to own my choices and actually said, I
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  Speaker 4: can't do that because I'm actually booked a massage. You know,
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  Speaker 4: my muscles are really hurting me around my shoulders and
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  Speaker 4: neck because I'm on the computer too much. but I'll
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  Speaker 4: be able to do it another day or in the
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  Speaker 4: future or another time. Once I started to be more honest,
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  Speaker 4: other people were also honest back and they themselves owned
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  Speaker 4: their own choices and everyone became more authentic. It's like
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  Speaker 4: a win-win situation. You grow respect for yourself, you grow
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  Speaker 4: respect for others, they respect you, and then they start
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  Speaker 4: to respect their own choices.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I like that you frame it as a brave
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  Speaker 3: act of self-respect, saying no.
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  Speaker 2: I really believe that.
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  Speaker 3: On this episode of Life Kit, how to do a
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  Speaker 3: say no retreat and to bring that energy back into
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  Speaker 3: your everyday life so you can create space for the
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  Speaker 3: things that matter to you the most.
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  Speaker 5: This message comes from Rula. World Mental Health Day takes
• 6:52
  Speaker 5: place in October, making it a great time to take
• 6:55
  Speaker 5: that next step in getting support if you need it.
• 6:57
  Speaker 5: Rula makes accessing quality mental health care affordable, with sessions
• 7:02
  Speaker 5: costing an average of $ 15 with insurance. So turn off
• 7:06
  Speaker 5: the talk track that's keeping you from progress and head
• 7:09
  Speaker 5: to Rula.com. That's R-U-L-A dot com to find a therapist
• 7:13
  Speaker 5: the easy way.
• 7:16
  Speaker 6: This week on Up First, the midterms less than 15
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  Speaker 6: days away. President Trump, Vice President J.D. Vance, and former
• 7:23
  Speaker 6: President Obama all crisscrossing the country, rallying voters in key
• 7:27
  Speaker 6: races from Michigan to Georgia to North Carolina. Join us
• 7:31
  Speaker 6: every morning as we guide you through the homestretch of
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  Speaker 7: American journalist Austin Tice vanished in Syria over a decade ago.
• 7:44
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  Speaker 3: You say in the book that we should take a
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  Speaker 3: day to prepare to say no.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's basically taking a day off, taking your day out,
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  Speaker 4: but taking it with intention. So preparing to say no
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  Speaker 4: to all these different things in your life that might
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  Speaker 4: free up.
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  Speaker 2: Energy, time and space for yourself.
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  Speaker 4: And I've said to prepare to say no, so that
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  Speaker 4: you can not feel stressed by this idea. But the
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  Speaker 4: actual day itself is a sort of nurturing shell that
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  Speaker 4: you can give yourself to take care of yourself, honour yourself,
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  Speaker 4: have some intentions around saying no, make lists, and then
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  Speaker 4: follow through at another time.
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  Speaker 3: I see. Yeah. Okay, so what's the plan? How do
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  Speaker 3: you do this the day of? When you wake up,
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  Speaker 3: what's the first thing you do?
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  Speaker 2: The night before, you would put away all your devices.
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  Speaker 4: That would be the first thing to say and keep
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  Speaker 4: them off for the duration. On the day, you would
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  Speaker 4: give yourself a chance to wake naturally. You'd be on
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  Speaker 4: your own. Ideally, you would have created your own retreat space.
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  Speaker 4: You would reach for some paper and pencil or you
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  Speaker 4: would reach for a journal. You open your journal and
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  Speaker 4: you start on waking just to make a very simple
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  Speaker 4: list of things that you would like to say no to.
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  Speaker 4: you could start by asking yourself who or what in
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  Speaker 4: your life right now do you most obviously in your
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  Speaker 4: gut want to say no to, such as a one-off
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  Speaker 4: situation or an ongoing commitment, perhaps something you've got planned
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  Speaker 4: for this Friday night or something you said yes to yesterday,
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  Speaker 4: like joining a committee which you're not quite sure about.
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  Speaker 4: So you just, on waking, stay in bed, pick up
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  Speaker 4: your pen and paper and jot down two or three
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  Speaker 4: things which are really immediate wins.
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  Speaker 2: Like I definitely don't want to do these.
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  Speaker 3: That alone is kind of a relief when I've just
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  Speaker 3: written down, no, I don't want to do this. I'm
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  Speaker 3: going to say no to this.
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  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
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  Speaker 3: Takeaway one, set aside a full day for your say
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  Speaker 3: no retreat. And unplug. Don't even set an alarm. When
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  Speaker 3: you wake up, make a list of some things you
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  Speaker 3: want to say no to in your life. What immediately
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  Speaker 3: comes to mind? Then eat some breakfast and get yourself
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  Speaker 3: into nature so you have some time to sit with
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  Speaker 3: that list. Maybe you take a bike ride or go.
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  Speaker 2: For a walk.
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  Speaker 4: Then you come back, go into your chosen retreat space.
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  Speaker 4: I do say to honour this space at the beginning
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  Speaker 4: of every session. So this might be lighting a candle
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  Speaker 4: or touching an object of nature that you've collected next
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  Speaker 4: to you or putting some essential oil on some of
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  Speaker 4: your pulse points. Anything that just kind of marks your
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  Speaker 4: beginning of session. And then settling yourself down, returning to
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  Speaker 4: your say no list and building on it. By tapping
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  Speaker 4: in to the rest of your week, then next week,
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  Speaker 4: then next month. What about in the next 12 months?
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  Speaker 4: What have you been invited to? What feels good? What
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  Speaker 4: doesn't feel right? What regular things do you attend to?
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  Speaker 4: How else can you free up your time and your
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  Speaker 4: energy and your space to live a better life?
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, you actually have a list of things you could
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  Speaker 3: say no to in the book. What are some of
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  Speaker 3: your favorites or the most surprising ones? I, for.
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  Speaker 4: A long time, had a long to-do list for a
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  Speaker 4: long time, whether it was on paper or in the
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  Speaker 4: notes section of my phone. And I realised that some
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  Speaker 4: of these things kept staying on the list. And I
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  Speaker 4: kept looking at them. And in the end, I.
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  Speaker 2: Thought, do I actually really need to ever.
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  Speaker 4: Do these in my life? And I thought, no, I
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  Speaker 4: never need to do these things. Life is too short.
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  Speaker 4: So I just got rid of them. So one of
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  Speaker 4: the main things I like here is I've written look
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  Speaker 4: at your to-do list. Is there something that's been on
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  Speaker 4: there a bit long? Be honest with yourself. Do you
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  Speaker 4: really need to do it? Or is it just going
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  Speaker 4: to be another layer of stress every time you look
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  Speaker 4: at it? If you don't need to do it, really,
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  Speaker 4: just cross it off.
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  Speaker 3: What's an example from your life?
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  Speaker 2: An example from my.
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  Speaker 4: Life is I am very into photography and I have
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  Speaker 4: a lot of photos, particularly travel photos from my kind
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  Speaker 4: of 20s and 30s.
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  Speaker 2: And on my list for a long, long.
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  Speaker 4: Time was edit photos and this is like an enormous
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  Speaker 4: task so in the end over time it's taken quite
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  Speaker 4: a painful process I've given myself permission to just say
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  Speaker 4: to myself I'm not going to do that I'm just
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  Speaker 4: going to look at my photos when I want to
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  Speaker 4: but I'm not going to go through and edit them
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  Speaker 4: all so your to-do list you could say no to
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  Speaker 4: regular commitments committees clubs classes voluntary work you're on actually
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  Speaker 4: what's important Pay attention to yourself, to your loved ones,
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  Speaker 4: to your friends, to your family, to your community, to
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  Speaker 4: things that matter. And say, I'm not going to pay
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  Speaker 4: attention to this other stuff because it's depleting me and
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  Speaker 4: taking my integrity away and taking my energy away.
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  Speaker 2: The energy I need to focus on the good stuff.
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  Speaker 3: Takeaway two, build on your say no list by thinking
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  Speaker 3: about your upcoming days, weeks, and months. Is there anything
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  Speaker 3: you planned that you're dreading? Are there tasks you've given
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  Speaker 3: yourself that turns out you don't actually have to do?
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  Speaker 3: There's a wall in my living room that I feel
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: like I need to repaint because I repainted all the others.
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  Speaker 3: But it's a gallery wall, so that would involve taking
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: down a lot of art. And the wall looks fine.
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  Speaker 3: So I'm saying no to myself. Coming up, our Say
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: No Retreat continues.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: Midlife brings a lot of changes.
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: Your Turn with Alison Aubrey is a new podcast to
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: help you navigate the twists and turns. From health and
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: relationships to creativity and purpose, we can help steer your
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: next chapter.
• 13:57
  Speaker 4: With Your Turn with Alison Aubrey.
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: Find it on the NPR app or wherever you get
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: your podcasts. Support comes from NPR sponsor AARP.
• 14:06
  Speaker 9: This election season, let the NPR Politics Podcast save your
• 14:10
  Speaker 9: time and your sanity. We'll help you understand key races,
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• 14:26
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• 14:29
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• 14:31
  Speaker 3: So we talked about when you wake up and then
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: the notes that you're going to start to take about
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  Speaker 3: things that you want to say no to. What comes
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  Speaker 3: after that?
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  Speaker 4: So you've been on your walk, you come back, you
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: settle down with your list and you check in with
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  Speaker 4: other points in your diary next week, the future, etc.
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  Speaker 4: When you've got a list with which you're reasonably satisfied,
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: choose one, two or three things you'd like to say
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  Speaker 4: no to today. And these could be easy wins. It's
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  Speaker 4: good to start with easy wins. It could be cancelling
• 15:02
  Speaker 4: an appointment, drafting an email to send when you're back online.
• 15:06
  Speaker 4: or popping a note in your calendar to cancel something
• 15:08
  Speaker 4: bigger when you have more time. So practice taking action now,
• 15:13
  Speaker 4: and it will be easy to say no to the
• 15:14
  Speaker 4: things on your list as you get the hang of it.
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  Speaker 3: Takeaway three, it's time to start actually saying no. You
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  Speaker 3: probably won't get to all the no's on your list today,
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: but like Caroline said, you can pick a small, easy win.
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: Maybe you finally quit that subscription for the streaming service
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: you never use.
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  Speaker 6: Done.
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  Speaker 2: That's a no.
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  Speaker 3: You can also start thinking about some of the harder no's,
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  Speaker 3: the ones that involve saying no to someone you care
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  Speaker 3: about or you have to work with. Caroline has some suggestions.
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  Speaker 2: Taking your time.
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  Speaker 4: Crafting a kind decline takes effort, but it saves time
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  Speaker 4: in the long run. Being gracious, so saying no with kindness.
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  Speaker 4: Suggesting alternatives. A softened no can include another option. Delaying
• 15:59
  Speaker 4: your yes. Your no can be temporary. I'd love to,
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  Speaker 4: but can we plan it for a few weeks later?
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  Speaker 2: Trusting others.
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  Speaker 4: Honest declines can encourage others to be more authentic. Not
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  Speaker 4: thinking that you have to over-explain why you're saying no.
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  Speaker 4: Sometimes a simple, polite decline can work. Speaking in person
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  Speaker 4: with the trickier things. Sometimes a phone call, even a
• 16:21
  Speaker 4: face-to-face chat makes things feel kinder and clearer.
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  Speaker 2: And then just practicing.
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  Speaker 4: So starting small and building your confidence so that you
• 16:30
  Speaker 4: have more ammunition when you want to say no to
• 16:32
  Speaker 4: bigger things. As you take action, you start to feel
• 16:35
  Speaker 4: how it makes your body feel. And if it makes
• 16:38
  Speaker 4: it feel good, if you check into your gut, then
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  Speaker 4: you know you're on the right track.
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  Speaker 3: You feel a little lighter.
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  Speaker 6: Yes.
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  Speaker 2: If you feel conflicted, then it may be not the
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  Speaker 2: right choice.
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  Speaker 4: Retreating as well is about really tapping into your gut,
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  Speaker 4: your instinct, and not listening to the voices around you,
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  Speaker 4: but listening to yourself right down deep inside. And I
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  Speaker 4: think the other thing to say here is we think
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: other people care more than they.
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  Speaker 2: Do sometimes, right? So actually, it's no big deal.
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  Speaker 4: Something that you felt is a big deal, not going
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: to this party or not accompanying someone to this festival
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: or whatever it might be, sometimes it's absolutely fine. And
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: we've built it up in our heads to be something
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: massive when actually it's not. Again, tapping into the principles
• 17:26
  Speaker 4: of retreating, we are all connected. We're not isolated. We're
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: more similar than we're different. And taking time to really
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: check in with who we are enables us to connect
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: with people, reconnect with people.
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah. This comes back to something that I think about
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: a lot, which is we all have more agency than
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: we think.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: More power to make choices.
• 17:51
  Speaker 6: Yes.
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: There are things that even seem fixed, right? Or somebody
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: is going to get really upset if we say no
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: to this. Or we absolutely, we have to do it
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: if we want to still be part of this group
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: or part of this workplace or whatever. And it's not
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: usually that black and white. Usually there's space to negotiate.
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: But if there's not, I don't know, I think it
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: still helps to remember that you still get to say no.
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 18:14
  Speaker 4: And again, this micro-retreating, these little tiny points of micro-retreating,
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: lead to bigger things. They lead to bigger transformation in yourself.
• 18:23
  Speaker 4: And that's what's so exciting about retreating as a principle.
• 18:27
  Speaker 4: And the other thing I wanted to say in relation
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: to what you just said is we need to allow
• 18:30
  Speaker 4: ourselves to feel discomfort. Saying no, for example, can feel
• 18:34
  Speaker 4: awkward and it may disappoint others. But if it's the
• 18:38
  Speaker 4: right decision for you, it is worth it. And if
• 18:41
  Speaker 4: you practice tolerating that discomfort and your anxiety around saying no,
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: It will ease over time and give you more power
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: and strength to say no to things that do truly
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: matter in the big ways.
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah. What do you do if you tell someone, let's
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: say a family member, that, listen, I'm not going to
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: make it to this thing? And they're upset or they're
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: disappointed or, you know, maybe they're even disappointed. angry at
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: you or they tell you, you know, you're a bad
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: sibling or you're a bad daughter or you know what
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: I mean?
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: Again, it goes back to being your own judge.
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: If you feel that you've made the right choice and
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: it's not a selfish one, as in you're not going
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: to be letting someone really important to you down. If
• 19:26
  Speaker 4: you have made the right choice on your own terms
• 19:29
  Speaker 4: and you've explained it kindly and with love and clearly,
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: then then whatever the reaction they are having, that's their
• 19:36
  Speaker 4: personal stuff, right? So again, it's encouraging people to live
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: their truth. And sometimes you can't be responsible for other
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: people's reactions. That's why kindness is really important. But there's
• 19:47
  Speaker 4: also going to be a point where you need to
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: let it go. and you've said your piece you've said
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: why you can't go you just leave it let it
• 19:53
  Speaker 4: go you just have to listen to your gut and
• 19:57
  Speaker 4: listen to others and sometimes you can be persuaded right
• 19:59
  Speaker 4: if someone you know and trust reacts violently against your
• 20:03
  Speaker 4: decision maybe you need to listen to that and have
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: a discussion with them with kindness But all of these,
• 20:09
  Speaker 4: all of this retreating is strengthening your resolve, strengthening yourself,
• 20:13
  Speaker 4: getting to know yourself better so that you are in
• 20:17
  Speaker 4: a position of strength to understand and know others.
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: Takeaway four, there are some tasks or responsibilities that are
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: draining or that you do dread, but that you'll want
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: to do anyway because they're important to you. Like taking
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: care of a family member or showing up for a
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: grieving friend. Getting into the say no mindset doesn't mean
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: abandoning our relationships with people. It's about making sure we're
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: not abandoning ourselves. How do you wrap up the day?
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: So after you've had a go at saying no to one,
• 20:51
  Speaker 4: two or three things, absolutely kind of celebrate, pat yourself
• 20:55
  Speaker 4: on the back, rest, have a meal, share your feelings,
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: perhaps with a trusted friend or enjoy time alone, relaxing
• 21:02
  Speaker 4: as you choose. Celebrate the fact you've begun to reclaim
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: some time and energy. And then before sleep, briefly refer
• 21:10
  Speaker 4: back to your list and add or tweak anything that
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: has come to you. So yeah, I mean, how you
• 21:15
  Speaker 4: wrap the day up at the end is up to you.
• 21:18
  Speaker 4: You might have a hot bath. You might get into
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: your pyjamas and read. You might take some notes. Always
• 21:22
  Speaker 4: stay off your devices so you're staying in your present
• 21:25
  Speaker 4: moment with your process. And yeah, Let yourself have a
• 21:30
  Speaker 4: fantastic sleep, hopefully, and await next morning refreshed and with
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: the reclaimed energy and time that you've created for yourself
• 21:38
  Speaker 4: with more resolution to have a better existence.
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: Caroline, thank you so much for this. I'm excited to
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: start saying no to more things.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: Oh, bless you. I hope so.
• 21:49
  Speaker 4: So that you can say a great big yes to
• 21:50
  Speaker 4: all the stuff that feels good.
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: All right, time for a recap. Takeaway one. Set aside
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: a full day for your say no retreat. When you
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: wake up, make a list of some things you want
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: to say no to in your life. What immediately comes
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: to mind? Then take a break in nature. Takeaway two,
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: build on your say no list by thinking about your
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: upcoming days, weeks, and months. Is there anything you've planned
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: that you're dreading? Are there tasks you've given yourself that
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: you don't actually have to do or even want to do?
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: Takeaway three, start actually saying no. Pick a small, easy
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: no that you can issue today. And takeaway four, there
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: are some tasks or responsibilities that are draining or that
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: you dread, but you'll want to do anyway because they're
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: important to you or they align with your values. Only
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: you can decide what these are. All right, that's our show.
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: By the way, if you like Life Kit, why not
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: tap the follow button? That way, you'll never miss an episode.
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: This episode of Life Kit was produced by Margaret Serino.
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: Our digital editor is Malika Gharib, and our visuals editor
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: is CJ Ricalon. Megan Cain is our senior supervising editor,
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: and Lauren Gonzalez is our executive producer. Our production team
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: also includes Andy Tagle, Claire Marie Schneider, and Sylvie Douglas.
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: Engineering support comes from Tiffany Vera Castro. I'm Mariel Segarra.
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: Thanks for listening.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: On the next ThruLine from NPR.
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  Speaker 3: We travel through the past four seasons of ceasefire in
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  Speaker 9: This fall, there are a lot of movies and TV
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  Speaker 9: shows on tap for you to see. And we're as
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  Speaker 9: excited for all of it to arrive as you are.
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  Speaker 9: On Pop Culture Happy Hour, we've got a guide to
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  Speaker 9: what's worth keeping on your radar. Listen via the NPR
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  Speaker 9: app or wherever you get your podcasts.