Latest / Financial Survival Network / The Financial Mindset Fix: Unpacking False Beliefs with Bob Wheeler #5944

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The Financial Mindset Fix: Unpacking False Beliefs with Bob Wheeler #5944 · Financial Survival Network

• 0:00
  Well, the first thing is you got to figure out where you are right.
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  You gotta like just like with anything, if you're trying to go from
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  LA to New York, you got to figure out, Wait, where am
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  I am at the bus station? I'm at the airport. So with money
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  mindset, need to figure out what are the things that I learned, What
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  did my parents teach me? What did I take on to be my truth?
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  And is it working for me? So that we can look and say,
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  oh, I have the story that I'm never going to be enough?
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  Is that working for me? You are listening to Carrie Letz's Financial Survival Network,
• 0:26
  where you get valuable information you just can't find anywhere else to thrive in
• 0:31
  today's trying times. You need the Financial Survival Network now more than ever.
• 0:37
  Go to Financial Survivalnetwork dot com and get your free newsletter and gift. Financial
• 0:43
  Survival Network now more than ever, and welcome. This is Financial Survival Network
• 0:53
  you are listening to or watching. My name is Carrie lust You're a host,
• 0:58
  and hey, we got a special guest for you today, Bob Wheeler.
• 1:03
  The money nerve. You know, I find people do have a lot
• 1:07
  of nerve when it comes to money. Especially when I expect to get paid
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  Bob. But hey, welcome to the show. Thanks for having mckerry.
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  Great to be here. Hey, So first, what is the money nerve?
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  I don't think it's quite what I describe, but how do you find
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  it? So money nerve? You know, we react to money viscerally,
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  Right, we win a lottery ticket, we're like, whoa, we bounce
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  a check, we feel it in our gut, and people have heart attacks,
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  we have health issues. The money nerve is that physical feeling of where
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  we're holding our joy and pain around money, and most of it's pain.
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  So where does the pain come from? Is this a youthful stuff? Trauma?
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  Where is it? A lot of it starts as kids. You know,
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  if you're the kid getting the free lunch and other kids are telling you,
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  wow, you're the poor kid, or you can't wear designer clothes,
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  or you're the kid that's always getting taken to school in a limo. Right,
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  we start seeing that stuff early on and our parents, you know,
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  you ask for a toy, you're greedy or we can't afford that or whatever
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  you want. So we start getting these messages we can talk about money.
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  We can't talk about money it's shameful. It's good. Rich people are greedy,
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  rich people are wonderful. We start making up stories and then we base
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  our life choices on that, so it turns down to beliefs then, right,
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  yeah, mindset, mindset, And it's really hard to change your mindset,
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  isn't it. Well it's hard. I mean it's doable, and sometimes,
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  like there's certain things I still have a scarcity mindset. Sometimes I'm like,
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  oh my god, there's not enough food in the house. I need
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  six warehouses. I can laugh at it, but I still have that huh
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  is there enough? All right? So I don't let it guide me.
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  I don't let it, you know, drive my life. But I'm aware.
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  Yeah, it's there. It's always there, lurking in the past.
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  So what is the best way to overcome it, to rise beyond your mindset?
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  Well, the first thing is you got to figure out where you are,
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  right. You got to like, just like with anything, if you're
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  trying to go from LA to New York, you got to figure out,
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  Wait, where am I am at the bus station? I'm at the airport.
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  So with money mindset, need to figure out what are the things that
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  I learned, What did my parents teach me what did I take on to
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  be my truth? And is it working for me? So that we can
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  look and say, oh, I have the story that I'm never going to
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  be enough? Is that working for me? No, I'm going to push
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  the boundaries and I'm gonna start doing things to get my confidence up. It
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  might be that I'm totally happy hiding in the bedroom and never speaking to another
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  soul. Nothing wrong with that. We're not here though. Hey, look,
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  you can play it safe, right, and then you don't grow.
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  So this is your helping people grow? Then? In effect, right,
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  absolutely, if we don't feel the pain, we're not going to grow,
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  all right, So how do you get people to feel the pain? So
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  what I do? Either, like if I'm in tax meetings with clients and
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  I do a lot of the hurtie work in my tax sessions, you know,
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  I might just ask people what's going on? When you know, I
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  saw that you sort of reacted to this, what's going on? I might
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  explore their stories and just give them a safe place to say, yeah,
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  my dad used to tell me I was an idiot, or whatever it might
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  be. If I do a lot of workshops where we go in and we
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  do experiential things about money and processes with other people, and people get to
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  sort of feel into oh wow, I really have resistance to this, or
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  I really like blaming my parents. I don't want to take responsibility, and
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  so I do different things to try and shake up the emotions to get people
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  really starting to think about, oh, how does gender play a role,
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  How does my sexuality play a role, How does my economic status play a
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  role, how does my religion play a role, any of those things to
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  just start Oh wow, that had impact. That that impact. Okay,
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  so so we get to the bottom of this, and but then, you
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  know, there's an old joke. I know, we're both into comedy,
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  but this guy's going to his psychiatrist because he's in New York City. He's
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  afraid to go on the subway. He just can't work it up. So
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  finally, you know, he goes goes down to the subway. First train
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  passes, he can't get on, the second train, the third, he
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  leaves the subway, goes back to his shrink and says, you know,
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  doctor, I'm still afraid of subways. I mean, a bad joke,
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  but it's a psychiatrist joke. So you got to expected to be bad,
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  right exactly. Yeah, It's like that guy goes on the subway and he's
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  just he's wrapped in a cellophane around his his midsection, and the shrink says
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  to him, hey, I can see your nuts. So anyway, but
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  you know so, but growth is hard. I mean it is for myself,
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  I know, like I, you know, to stop doing certain things
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  or to start doing other things that you want to do. Uh, you
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  know, I don't know what what actually moves me to do it, other
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  than the desire not to fail, or you know, or knowing there's something
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  wrong and I need to make a change. Yeah. I mean usually when
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  the heat gets too hot, we move. When we start to get really
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  uncomfortable, we want to get out of it. So as long as we're
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  comfortable, there's no need to look at things and move away. But the
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  minute we're starting to say, oh, this has impacting me in a way
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  that doesn't feel good, I think I'm going to move over here and see
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  if it's different. So it's sort of like you have to go through the
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  fire. You can't go around it, right, You got to you gotta
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  feel the pain to be able to move on from it. Yeah, yeah,
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  I couldn't to agree. I couldn't agree with you more so, Uh,
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  okay, So you obviously dealt with a lot of people that have these
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  issues. I guess we all do to a greater or lesser extent. Like
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  what was like the hardest case you ever had getting somebody to really really make
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  the move? You know? I think one of the cases were actually and
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  I didn't ultimately get them to make the move. And that's why I think
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  it was so hard. They had their own business, they were an architect,
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  and they were bleeding money. It was failing, and we looked at
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  all the numbers and I'm like, you're going to be out of business in
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  a year and a half. He got this incredible offer, six figures high,
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  six figures, lots of vacation. It was going to pay off everything
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  and actually give him a lot of freedom, and he said, yeah,
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  I can't do it. My parents are going to be really disappointed if I
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  close my business. And I said, you're going to close your business anyway,
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  and he's like, well it has to happen to me. I can't.
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  I can't actively close my business. And so I watched him just completely
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  fail because he didn't want to disappoint. He didn't want to disappoint his parents
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  rather than have an honest conversation with his parents and say this is what I
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  need you to do, And so he chose to. He ran the business
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  into the ground. And he had such an opportunity, and a lot of
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  us have opportunity and we just don't want to see it because it's scary or
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  uncomfortable or somebody might judge us. Yeah, oh, that's really a sad
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  story. It's a sad story. I have the happy story now, you
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  know. I had a client who was about one hundred thousand dollars in debt.
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  She worked in she works in the entertainment industry. She would do clothing
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  for costumes and all that stuff, and she would put everything on a credit
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  card because she was getting miles, you know, and then get reimbursed.
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  Well, a couple of studios didn't pay her. She had to pay the
• 9:00
  debt. When I showed her how she could do it differently. Within a
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  couple of years, she saved up money, bought a house, paid off
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  all her debt, and every time she gets a tax bill and she ows
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  forty or fifty thousand dollars, she's like I'm so excited to pay all this
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  money because I'm making money. And she loves paying taxes because we're not paying
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  the most taxes, but she knows she's making money and her life is good.
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  Hey, you gotta you know. That's always like, oh God,
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  I made it, all this money, all these taxes. But hey,
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  you made all this money, right, you made all this money. It's
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  a good thing. It's a good thing. It's a good thing, all
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  right. So what are three things that anybody can do to help rein in
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  or make positives that money nerve they can make a decision today, I'm going
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  to start doing things differently, even though in the past I was scared.
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  They can immediately start saving five bucks a week and putting it away just to
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  start to see that that they can actually create a new habit. And the
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  third thing they can do, I think it's really important to let yourself off
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  the hook. Actually forgive yourself for your past mistakes and say, yeah,
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  I did that in the past. I did the best with what I had,
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  and now I know better, I'm going to do better. That's probably
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  the hardest thing to do, is to forgive yourself your stupidity, right,
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  Yeah, yeah, for sure. For sure. Yeah, that's a tough
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  one. All right. Well, hey, you know it's hard to get
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  beyond those mistakes that you make. But you wouldn't be the person you are
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  if you didn't make those mistakes, would you. No? Absolutely, And
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  if you can convert those into teachable moments instead of fails, right, then
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  we never fail. We're just constantly learning. Well, I always say,
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  you're never a failure unless you believe you're a failure, right right, absolutely,
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  all right, keep getting back up. Okay, Well, hey,
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  you're quite inspiring. Like what you have to say. Just tell us about
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  comedy and how using comedy can make you more effective in any business, any
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  venture, relationship that you're in. Well, for me, comedy is a
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  great icebreaker when I'm trying to work with clients, tax clients and things are
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  tense, I can throw out a joke. I can tell a funny story
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  that might happen to be paralleled with their life, and they can hear that
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  story because it's not them, and they'll say, wait a minute, that's
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  me. Oh maybe right, So for me, comedy it also transcends language.
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  I've traveled a lot, and I have been to countries where nobody speaks
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  English, but I can be playful, I can joke, and it just
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  is a connector to a lot of people when we're willing to say, yeah,
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  I want to hear, I want to have some fun, like I
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  want to do things. I want to accomplish things, and for me,
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  the whole purpose when I'm doing business, when I'm doing any thing, I
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  always ask myself, am I having fun? Because if I'm not having fun,
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  what's the point? Yeah? I so agree with you. When it
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  starts not becoming fun, then it's time to move on. And I've actually
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  done that in a few businesses before. Hey, people are definitely going to
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  want to find out more about you, Bob, your podcast, your book,
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  tell us how we connect with you on the internet. Yeah. Absolutely.
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  It is the money Nerve dot com. The Money Nerve, not nerd.
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  I'm a nerd, but it's the Money Nerve dot Com. And my
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  podcast is money you should ask. All of that is on the website,
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  The Money Nerve, my books. I've written a couple of books, the
• 12:41
  children's book and the Money Nerve Book, and we've got a lot of free
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  resources. We always love talking to people about money and their mindset. All
• 12:48
  right, Hey, this is a great having you on. Really appreciate the
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  kind words, the inspiration. It's definitely inspirational. No matter how low you
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  fall, you could always go lower, but you can always raise yourself up
• 13:01
  as well. If you got a question for Bob or myself, shoot me
• 13:05
  an email kl at Carrie LUTs dot com. Link to Bob's site. You'll
• 13:09
  find it in the show notes to this interview on Financial Survival Network dot com
• 13:15
  and please sign up for a free newsletter when you click it. Bob,
• 13:18
  Total pleasure. Thanks so much for stopping by. We'll have you on again.
• 13:22
  Great Carrie. Thanks, have a great rest of your week. Thanks
• 13:24
  for listening to Carrie Letz's Financial Survival Network, your solution to today's trying times.
• 13:31
  For the latest, go to Financial Survivalnetwork dot com. Financial Survival Network
• 13:37
  now more than ever