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REPLAY: Nia Long & Ime Udoka are in a good coparenting space after his alleged Celtics c · The Breakfast Club

0:02
Speaker 1: I'm a homegrow that knows a little bit about everything
0:04
Speaker 1: and everybody. You don't know if you don't lie about that. Right, Hey, y'all,
0:09
Speaker 1: what's up. It's Lauren L Rosa and this is the
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Speaker 1: latest with Laura L. Rosa. This is your DELI dig
0:15
Speaker 1: on all things pop culture, entertainment, news, and all of
0:19
Speaker 1: the conversations that shake the room. Baby. Now, today we
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Speaker 1: are going to dive into an article that was honestly
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Speaker 1: just released. As I was heading here to the podcast,
0:30
Speaker 1: I saw that this article was released and a major
0:32
Speaker 1: announcement about this celebrity was released. So we're going to
0:35
Speaker 1: get into all things nia Along today. And for those
0:38
Speaker 1: of you, I mean, if you're listening to this podcast,
0:41
Speaker 1: I don't know how you would be unfamiliar with nia Along.
0:44
Speaker 1: But for those of you who are unfamiliar with nil honestly,
0:47
Speaker 1: I don't even want to do that because if you
0:49
Speaker 1: listen to this podcast and you're familiar with ni Along,
0:51
Speaker 1: the rock you live under is not my problem. We
0:53
Speaker 1: are not going to do that today. So nia Along,
0:57
Speaker 1: you know, actress, you know, just man like nia Along
1:03
Speaker 1: is literally when I think I just saying actress to
1:06
Speaker 1: me is a is an underscore is an undersell. I
1:09
Speaker 1: think when you talk about Nia Long and what her
1:12
Speaker 1: career has been, Nia Long has been. I'll just speak
1:15
Speaker 1: for me personally, like she is an actress, and you know,
1:19
Speaker 1: I visually when I say actress, see all of the
1:23
Speaker 1: roles that she has played on camera, from Boys in
1:26
Speaker 1: the Hood to I mean even even like recent things
1:30
Speaker 1: she's done, Like you know, there's a movie I forget
1:34
Speaker 1: what is it called, It's it's about uh. I only
1:39
Speaker 1: remember her name in the movie CC Bloom because my
1:41
Speaker 1: best friend Sierra that's what her family calls her. Hold
1:44
Speaker 1: on one second Beaches. Yes, so from Boys in the
1:48
Speaker 1: Hood to I mean Fresh Prince of bel Air and
1:52
Speaker 1: of course Love Jones. I mean it's Nia Along like
1:54
Speaker 1: Love Jones. Like I just I literally just watched Beaches
1:58
Speaker 1: again on Netflix. Ne Along remade the ninety I think
2:03
Speaker 1: it was an eighty film, the eighty film Beaches, and
2:06
Speaker 1: she played CC Boom in the film. But I mean,
2:10
Speaker 1: I just think of her as a nineties culture like architect,
2:18
Speaker 1: and I feel like with Neil Long and she talks
2:21
Speaker 1: about it, We're going to get into an interview that
2:25
Speaker 1: she did for the Cut magazine and the headline of
2:28
Speaker 1: the article says, ne Along isn't romanticized in the past.
2:32
Speaker 1: She'd rather live in the moment and lift up the
2:34
Speaker 1: next generation in Hollywood. And you know, I just think
2:38
Speaker 1: about everything that Nia Long like stood for right as
2:43
Speaker 1: a black woman in television, just a woman, a powerful,
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Speaker 1: beautiful but like sexy, not afraid to say how she
2:51
Speaker 1: feels and show a powerful woman in Hollywood. For me,
2:56
Speaker 1: just watching her and I think about, you know, down
2:58
Speaker 1: to They just announced that she is going to be
3:02
Speaker 1: Este Lauder's first ever an ambassador for North America exclusively,
3:06
Speaker 1: which means she'll get to do like TV deals and
3:09
Speaker 1: her TV campaigns and digital campaigns and all the things
3:13
Speaker 1: for the brand. But I'm like, duh, Like Nia Long
3:16
Speaker 1: not only is a person that I watched on camera
3:19
Speaker 1: because she was great at playing these characters in these
3:22
Speaker 1: roles and storytelling and really just being the girl, you know,
3:25
Speaker 1: the girl next door and the girl from around the
3:27
Speaker 1: way who was so smart. You know, I remember boys
3:30
Speaker 1: in the hood. I always thought that it was so
3:31
Speaker 1: fire that like she was the girl that was like
3:34
Speaker 1: beautiful and she was like there and she's around, but
3:37
Speaker 1: she's headed to college and her head is on street
3:39
Speaker 1: and she's fly and she's sexy, and you know, I
3:42
Speaker 1: think for a lot of us, you know, for me
3:45
Speaker 1: as a black woman looking at that on TV, it
3:47
Speaker 1: was like, okay, cool, Like I'm growing up as a
3:49
Speaker 1: girl around the way, but there's more to just my neighborhood.
3:53
Speaker 1: But it's also okay for me to still be very
3:56
Speaker 1: intertwined and indulged and engulfed in my neighborhood. But when
3:59
Speaker 1: it's and set away, it's time to step away. But
4:02
Speaker 1: also just being I mean, I don't know her beauty.
4:05
Speaker 1: To me, I'm like duh, Estay Louder and whoever else
4:09
Speaker 1: cover girl, all the brands, right, But that came out
4:12
Speaker 1: today as well. So she did this interview with The
4:14
Speaker 1: Cut and they talk about, you know her and everything
4:17
Speaker 1: she's doing with Esday Louder, but then they also get
4:20
Speaker 1: into just what being a woman in her role has
4:25
Speaker 1: meant for her. So she's speaking with The Cut and
4:28
Speaker 1: they just starn't really getting into her life. And one
4:30
Speaker 1: of the things that is starting to go superviral already
4:34
Speaker 1: is one of the quotes from a part of the interview.
4:38
Speaker 1: So this part of the interview they're talking to today
4:41
Speaker 1: along about balancing work and love, and she says, I
4:44
Speaker 1: don't think there's ever been a time in my life
4:46
Speaker 1: where I was willing to give up my life to
4:48
Speaker 1: be someone's wife or girlfriend ever period. And then she laughs.
4:53
Speaker 1: She says, I don't care how difficult the journey has been.
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Speaker 1: I think you can have both. And she's talking about
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Speaker 1: the love and the career, which has always been a conversation,
5:02
Speaker 1: especially you know, I mean ni Al Long has been
5:06
Speaker 1: in this game for a long time. Lean Long has kids.
5:08
Speaker 1: Nia Long has been in a very public, you know,
5:11
Speaker 1: situation where her partner, I May, I May. I'm probably
5:16
Speaker 1: saying his name wrong. I May, who was coaching for
5:18
Speaker 1: the Celtics, you know, at the time when all this
5:20
Speaker 1: stuff was going down and there was the cheating allegations,
5:24
Speaker 1: and Neil Long like publicly, that's like finding out you
5:27
Speaker 1: got cheated cheated on when you at work and it's
5:29
Speaker 1: like it's nothing you can do because you got to
5:31
Speaker 1: finish the shift. But she's so pissed and your heart
5:33
Speaker 1: is broken. Nia Long would do some things publicly with
5:35
Speaker 1: her youngest son's father. She has two sons. Her youngest
5:39
Speaker 1: son's father, I May, I believe it's I May I may,
5:43
Speaker 1: I may, I may. If I'm saying it wrong, I apologize.
5:48
Speaker 1: I say a lot of people's names wrong. My bad.
5:51
Speaker 1: So okay, my bad. But yeah, so she's been doing
5:54
Speaker 1: a lot publicly. But you know, even before that, she
5:58
Speaker 1: had the career, she had the husban, been, she had
6:00
Speaker 1: the family, all of the things. And she says, I
6:03
Speaker 1: never wanted to wake up in my thirties and forties
6:05
Speaker 1: and say, well, what is the value of my life?
6:08
Speaker 1: She says, Now, don't get me wrong, I my are
6:10
Speaker 1: women who are committed to being stay at home wives
6:13
Speaker 1: and running a house and raising the children. That's a job.
6:16
Speaker 1: But I also know that those children grow up, and
6:19
Speaker 1: when they grow up, whether you're working, whether you're a
6:22
Speaker 1: working mom, a single mom, or stay at home mom,
6:24
Speaker 1: there's a moment that every woman feels like, Okay, now
6:27
Speaker 1: it's time to recreate who I am. Now it's time
6:29
Speaker 1: to tap into my passion because there's so much pouring out.
6:33
Speaker 1: It's like to give or take. It's basically like, okay,
6:35
Speaker 1: now your cup is empty and you got to refeel it.
6:37
Speaker 1: So you got to give back somewhere. She says, I
6:40
Speaker 1: just have never been willing to give up my career
6:42
Speaker 1: and my dreams and my aspirations for a man. I
6:45
Speaker 1: think it's beautiful to have a partnership, but I don't
6:47
Speaker 1: need to be taken care of. It's nice to be treated,
6:49
Speaker 1: it's nice for a man to financially be giving. I
6:52
Speaker 1: love all of that. I'm here for all of that,
6:54
Speaker 1: and it's actually like a prerequisit right, Yes, girl, I am.
6:59
Speaker 1: That's one of the biggest things I'm learning. It's nothing
7:00
Speaker 1: wrong with that being a prerequisite. The twenty twenty five
7:04
Speaker 1: and this whole list of where people won't eat and
7:06
Speaker 1: will eat on the date. I ain't going to a
7:08
Speaker 1: chain restaurant. All that will make you feel like having
7:11
Speaker 1: prerequisites or things that you want when it comes to
7:13
Speaker 1: finances is a bad thing as a woman, which is
7:16
Speaker 1: crazy to me. You don't got to be you know.
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Speaker 1: I'm not the type that's like if my men don't
7:21
Speaker 1: or can't, I won't. But you do want it, and
7:24
Speaker 1: I want to be honest about the fact that I
7:26
Speaker 1: want that, So I love the Neolong said that. Here
7:29
Speaker 1: she says, you got to come with all the presents,
7:31
Speaker 1: she laughs, the offerings, The surprise is the trips. That's
7:34
Speaker 1: the icing on the cake. That's where I get to
7:37
Speaker 1: be soft. That's where I get to be a girl's girl.
7:39
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, That's where I get to be a girly girl.
7:42
Speaker 1: Felt feltic. So when I think about Neolong and I
7:46
Speaker 1: think about, you know, since the nineties, how long Neolong
7:50
Speaker 1: has been in this industry and been relevant in this industry.
7:53
Speaker 1: I mean, the minute I think about ni Along, I
7:56
Speaker 1: think about the line short hair like Neolon, like her
7:59
Speaker 1: beauty has been focus short hair, night like ne Along.
8:03
Speaker 1: People think of nineties, you know, beautiful brown skin, brown lip,
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Speaker 1: brown glass, soul food, love Jones, the flipped up Bob.
8:12
Speaker 1: Anytime I do short hair, brown lip, it's all even
8:15
Speaker 1: my shirt today, my shirt today. I don't know if
8:18
Speaker 1: you guys can see it well because I'm sitting down,
8:20
Speaker 1: but it's very much na Along soul Food inspired. When
8:23
Speaker 1: I put this on today, I was like, oh, I
8:24
Speaker 1: just want to do brown lip, natural glow vibes very
8:28
Speaker 1: much reminiscent of ne Along. Always an inspo. But it's
8:32
Speaker 1: not just about her look. I think it's always for
8:35
Speaker 1: a lot of us, you know, women that are trying
8:38
Speaker 1: to figure this out. We model and or we model
8:42
Speaker 1: and we look at women who seem like they have
8:45
Speaker 1: it all figured out, And I say, I say it
8:46
Speaker 1: seem like not as a knock to what Neilong may
8:48
Speaker 1: have or may not have figured out. But you know,
8:50
Speaker 1: I just know people always say I look like I
8:53
Speaker 1: haven't figured out, but I don't not about me. But
8:55
Speaker 1: like she would probably I'm assuming she would probably say
8:57
Speaker 1: that because everybody, and she said in this article when
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Speaker 1: she talks about co parents and having to figure out
9:02
Speaker 1: her situation after that very public separation that we talked about,
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Speaker 1: nobody has it all figured out, but eventually you get
9:09
Speaker 1: to a place of peace and understanding. And for n
9:11
Speaker 1: a long and looking at her career in the way
9:13
Speaker 1: that people have regarded her as a nineties beauty and
9:16
Speaker 1: all the things that's something to aspire to. I think
9:20
Speaker 1: the way that people talk about you, in my opinion,
9:23
Speaker 1: in this industry carries you in how you are or
9:28
Speaker 1: how you are perceived when you walk in before you're
9:30
Speaker 1: able to open your mouth and do so. And I think,
9:33
Speaker 1: if you know nothing else about Nia Long, you know
9:35
Speaker 1: she is gorgeous. You know she has had some of
9:37
Speaker 1: the most iconic roles. She's been one of the most
9:40
Speaker 1: impactful and iconic black faces actress wise, you know since
9:45
Speaker 1: the nineties, and you know that there are generations of women,
9:49
Speaker 1: especially US brown skinned girls that have looked at nia
9:51
Speaker 1: Along for inspo. So we're we're not just doing it
9:54
Speaker 1: because of beauty. It's like, Okay, she getting money, she
9:57
Speaker 1: looks good. The family unit is, they're just all the things.
10:01
Speaker 1: And I think we saw a lot of how people
10:04
Speaker 1: regard Nia Long when the situation with her ex in,
10:09
Speaker 1: her child's father, her youngest child's father, happened. Because when
10:14
Speaker 1: everything came out, you know about the allegations that were
10:17
Speaker 1: being thrown his way, and in real time, Nia Long
10:21
Speaker 1: was being put in conversations of what was done to
10:24
Speaker 1: her and her relationship as far as you know, his infidelity,
10:28
Speaker 1: his alleged infidelity. The world came out swinging like don't
10:31
Speaker 1: play with her like that. We not don't play with
10:33
Speaker 1: our girl like that. And also Nia Long has talked
10:36
Speaker 1: about I remember she did to sit down with Jeezi
10:38
Speaker 1: and she talked about how she didn't feel protected in
10:42
Speaker 1: that situation and not by us. Because again we the
10:46
Speaker 1: people came out swinging for n Along, like why is
10:49
Speaker 1: this even a public conversation, Why is this being leaked
10:53
Speaker 1: to press into media at all, but she said she
10:57
Speaker 1: felt she didn't feel protect or that the necessary steps
11:01
Speaker 1: were taken by the organization he was working with at
11:04
Speaker 1: the time and just people involved to protect her in
11:08
Speaker 1: their situation in the the you know, the fact that
11:11
Speaker 1: a lot of this should have remained anonymous, But we
11:14
Speaker 1: move on. She also talks about co parenting in this article.
11:26
Speaker 1: And to my surprise, because I'm be honest with y'all,
11:29
Speaker 1: if I was knee along and I had to go
11:30
Speaker 1: through what she had to go through. Because she's a
11:32
Speaker 1: public figure and this was you know you're talking about.
11:36
Speaker 1: You know, he's a coach for the Celtics at the time,
11:39
Speaker 1: and it's a very high profile situation, it would be
11:42
Speaker 1: a bit hard for me to figure out co parenting
11:45
Speaker 1: in the way she's describing in this article. I get it,
11:48
Speaker 1: they have kids and they gotta figure it out, but
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Speaker 1: I think I don't know. There would just be a
11:53
Speaker 1: level of hurt and distrust that I don't know I
11:56
Speaker 1: would be able to as easily get over. But maybe
11:58
Speaker 1: it's different when you got kids. I don't have kids, Yeah,
12:00
Speaker 1: but she says. Neilong says, this summer I travel with
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Speaker 1: my youngest son and my ex. Emay, we had a
12:06
Speaker 1: great time. And that's what I mean by I don't
12:08
Speaker 1: know if I could get to this point where y'all
12:09
Speaker 1: are seeing us out in public traveling together. You know,
12:11
Speaker 1: we've shown up at like basketball, soccer ball, soccer ball,
12:15
Speaker 1: basketball soccer games together. That's one thing that's easy to say, Okay,
12:20
Speaker 1: they're both here because of like whatever, but traveling on
12:23
Speaker 1: trips together. Her kid can easily go with his father
12:27
Speaker 1: and take that same trip. It's a very big step
12:29
Speaker 1: for you guys to be doing that together, she says.
12:32
Speaker 1: This summer, I travel with my youngest son and my ex.
12:35
Speaker 1: We had a great time. I've never walked that much
12:38
Speaker 1: in my life, but it was really beautiful because we've
12:40
Speaker 1: had a very public journey that has found its way
12:44
Speaker 1: to peace and understanding, and there's a lot of mutual
12:46
Speaker 1: respect that we have for each other. The most important
12:49
Speaker 1: gift you can give your kids is to heal your trauma.
12:52
Speaker 1: And that's what I mean by Look, I don't have kids,
12:54
Speaker 1: so me right now, I'm speaking from a place of
12:56
Speaker 1: that trauma will still be sitting very deep at the
12:59
Speaker 1: top of my stomach, and every single time I would
13:02
Speaker 1: have to engage. It would just come up like that
13:05
Speaker 1: look that come up like the spirits in me. Okay,
13:08
Speaker 1: it would hit me like the Holy ghost every single time.
13:11
Speaker 1: I had to just see the person in real life. Anyway.
13:14
Speaker 1: But listen, maybe kids give you a different sense of
13:16
Speaker 1: strength that I don't have yet, in a different sense
13:20
Speaker 1: of needing for peace, because I'm all here for peace.
13:23
Speaker 1: But my piece is I never have to see you
13:25
Speaker 1: again or talk to you. They don't have a choice here,
13:27
Speaker 1: She says. I don't talk much about my personal life
13:30
Speaker 1: because it's no one's business, but every now and then
13:32
Speaker 1: people speculate on social media, and it's like me and
13:36
Speaker 1: Coach are good. I hope he wins. He deserves to win.
13:40
Speaker 1: He really, he's really great at what he does. We
13:42
Speaker 1: can have experiences with our son and make him the priority.
13:46
Speaker 1: They're still healing to be done and understanding to be had.
13:49
Speaker 1: But the past is the past. And that's what I
13:50
Speaker 1: think to me, is that is what is so like,
13:55
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Lauren, you might need to grow up
13:56
Speaker 1: like so remarkable and profound here because I can understand
14:01
Speaker 1: piece is piece. There's no issue. But I think that's
14:05
Speaker 1: easier said than done when again, I don't have to
14:07
Speaker 1: deal with anybody that I've dealt with in the past,
14:10
Speaker 1: I don't have to deal with them. We have no
14:12
Speaker 1: strings attached, not a thing. Okay, love that for me,
14:17
Speaker 1: Love it like I really. At this point, I don't
14:21
Speaker 1: even have an ex. I've never dated anybody besides the date,
14:24
Speaker 1: but a person I'm dating right now. That is how
14:26
Speaker 1: I handle, you know, life at this point, and that
14:28
Speaker 1: brings me peace. But it's a bit different here, especially too.
14:31
Speaker 1: I think even if they didn't share a son together,
14:34
Speaker 1: it's a bit different because again, it was so high profile,
14:37
Speaker 1: so you're always attached to that person once it's high
14:40
Speaker 1: profile and it hits the media and it becomes a storyline.
14:43
Speaker 1: She says, they're still healing. It needs to be done,
14:44
Speaker 1: and I understanding to be had. But the past is
14:46
Speaker 1: the past. I'm not going to carry burthen some energy
14:48
Speaker 1: with me because that just transfers to my children and
14:51
Speaker 1: it transfers to everything else in my life. I'm working
14:53
Speaker 1: on menia, all right, I hear you speaking. I'm proud
14:56
Speaker 1: of myself. I think we're proud of each other as parents,
15:00
Speaker 1: and we're able to make this an annual thing. And
15:03
Speaker 1: commit to these last sweet years of him being in
15:05
Speaker 1: grade school and high school before he goes off to college.
15:08
Speaker 1: We're both going to be standing there and watching him graduate.
15:11
Speaker 1: And I mean, I think this is the place that
15:15
Speaker 1: you have to arrive to, especially with a kid grade
15:20
Speaker 1: school ages that's a big kid. Your kid is on
15:23
Speaker 1: social so your kid is hearing things, seeing things, and
15:26
Speaker 1: even if your kid is not directly on social, their
15:28
Speaker 1: friends are. We just talked today at the Breakfast Club
15:31
Speaker 1: about Blue Ivy and when Blue Ivy was doing the
15:34
Speaker 1: Cowboy Carter tour. Y'all remember in the beginning of the tour,
15:37
Speaker 1: people were, you know, having some things to say about
15:40
Speaker 1: her dancing and her choreography, especially because I mean, Beyonce
15:44
Speaker 1: is her mom. But Matthew Knows told Carlos King on
15:50
Speaker 1: Reality with the King that social media was the reason
15:54
Speaker 1: that Blue Ivy went basically got in a gym. So
15:58
Speaker 1: I think at this point, when you you have a
16:00
Speaker 1: kid that is this old and also too you know
16:03
Speaker 1: nia long and you know her ex were together for
16:06
Speaker 1: some time and they're just in different spaces a lot
16:08
Speaker 1: more mature than I am, you don't have a choice
16:12
Speaker 1: but to get to this place. And I think that
16:13
Speaker 1: it's important because you have so much going on day
16:15
Speaker 1: to day. And don't get me wrong, I'm not harboring
16:17
Speaker 1: any bad feelings or ill will for anybody in my past.
16:20
Speaker 1: I think I've gotten to a point too where I'm like,
16:22
Speaker 1: I don't even know if these people deserve that energy,
16:25
Speaker 1: but I don't interact with anyone. I think if I
16:29
Speaker 1: were to have to interact with any X that I
16:32
Speaker 1: had any bad breakup situation with, honestly, like my my
16:36
Speaker 1: last situation, if I were to walk past him to
16:39
Speaker 1: day or tomorrow, it would be nothing like literally even
16:43
Speaker 1: if you were to speak and just be like, oh hey,
16:44
Speaker 1: what's up. But it's taking time for me to get there.
16:47
Speaker 1: And I've had the luxury of not having an interact
16:49
Speaker 1: and just acting like he fell off the edge of
16:50
Speaker 1: the earth because it's what I needed and I'm sure
16:52
Speaker 1: it's what he needed as well too. But I'd also
16:55
Speaker 1: gotten to a place by the end of that where
16:57
Speaker 1: like it wasn't like abrupt like it seems like me
17:00
Speaker 1: a long situation with her ex and her child's or
17:03
Speaker 1: her youngest son's father was very like she didn't have
17:05
Speaker 1: a choice, Like it was like everything hit the news
17:09
Speaker 1: and it was just like, Okay, is Nea Long gonna
17:12
Speaker 1: go back? Is she not gonna go back? And I
17:15
Speaker 1: think she did have a choice. Let me not say
17:17
Speaker 1: that she did have a choice, but I think there
17:20
Speaker 1: is pressure when you know you got the whole world
17:22
Speaker 1: and all these girls who are doing a short hair
17:24
Speaker 1: like Na Long and a brown lip line and looking
17:26
Speaker 1: up to you about what are you gonna do in
17:29
Speaker 1: this situation? And people forget that celebrities are only humans.
17:32
Speaker 1: So it's like you could take your baby father back
17:35
Speaker 1: like ten eleven times, right, he don't come pick up
17:38
Speaker 1: the kids. He got about four or five baby mamas.
17:40
Speaker 1: You arguing and fussing and fighting with all of them,
17:43
Speaker 1: you can take them back. Cool the men in nia
17:45
Speaker 1: along decides to take in anybody back, or we get
17:48
Speaker 1: a photo of them on this vacation and it's picked
17:51
Speaker 1: up the wrong way as if they might be trying
17:52
Speaker 1: to figure things out. Baby you the same person in
17:55
Speaker 1: the comments like I cannot believe her. She is a
17:57
Speaker 1: role model for black people. Forget that celebrities are human.
18:01
Speaker 1: But I mean Neolong stood in where she stood in,
18:03
Speaker 1: and I think that's always been one of the things. Again,
18:05
Speaker 1: that you know you look at people when you admire
18:08
Speaker 1: about them. It's like it seems Neia don't take no shit,
18:11
Speaker 1: is what it seems like, and be it as it may.
18:15
Speaker 1: She's grown up in an industry where she can't, so
18:18
Speaker 1: that goes into so many other parts of her life.
18:21
Speaker 1: She continues to say, I talk about my kids a
18:23
Speaker 1: lot because they take up so much space in my
18:25
Speaker 1: life and my heart. Everything I do is for them.
18:27
Speaker 1: I'm not a perfect mother. I've made any mistakes. My
18:30
Speaker 1: kids have seen me go through it. But that's the
18:32
Speaker 1: type of mother I am. If I'm pissed, everyone knows. See,
18:36
Speaker 1: that's so crazy that I said that. I hadn't even
18:38
Speaker 1: read this paragraph in prep for today's episode. I just
18:41
Speaker 1: I've never met Nia long, but just from watching her
18:45
Speaker 1: in interviews and how she's navigated her career in her
18:49
Speaker 1: characters too, and I like in her characters. But I
18:53
Speaker 1: think it gets to a certain point where you know,
18:55
Speaker 1: when you're in a certain part of your career, you
18:57
Speaker 1: get to pick and choose kind of what you're playing
18:59
Speaker 1: and why you're playing it, and you know you're very
19:02
Speaker 1: mindful about what you're picking. And she's been able to
19:05
Speaker 1: craft almost like a brand or a conversation for herself
19:08
Speaker 1: through her characters. Now, this next part of the article,
19:18
Speaker 1: and we're going to end here because I want to
19:19
Speaker 1: open it up for conversation from you guys. This next
19:22
Speaker 1: part of the article hit me very close to home.
19:26
Speaker 1: So they talk to me along about being in her thirties,
19:29
Speaker 1: and then they talk to me along about being in
19:31
Speaker 1: her fifties. So she says, your thirties are time to
19:34
Speaker 1: experience everything around you, so that by the time you
19:36
Speaker 1: get to the age where you decide I want to
19:38
Speaker 1: get married or I want to have kids, or I
19:40
Speaker 1: don't want to get married, but I still want to
19:42
Speaker 1: have children, you've been open enough to have these experiences
19:45
Speaker 1: to narrow down your purpose. I think thirty is definitely
19:50
Speaker 1: the time where you start thinking purpose, Like you think
19:53
Speaker 1: you know purpose and you think you know, Oh my God,
19:56
Speaker 1: this is why God put me here and the world
19:57
Speaker 1: deserves to get this version of me. No, I think
20:00
Speaker 1: thirty is where you at least. I don't think you
20:01
Speaker 1: get it fully in your thirties, but I think you
20:03
Speaker 1: start thinking about it in a real way and things
20:05
Speaker 1: start hitting you differently, especially if you're coming into your
20:08
Speaker 1: thirties with kids or thinking about half them. She says,
20:11
Speaker 1: when I was thirty, I was like, and I'm thirty three.
20:13
Speaker 1: That's why it just hit me so close to home.
20:15
Speaker 1: She says, When I was thirty, I was like, Okay,
20:17
Speaker 1: I want to have my first child by thirty. I
20:19
Speaker 1: thought I was going to have my first child at
20:20
Speaker 1: twenty five, like that was always my thing before I
20:24
Speaker 1: got to college. When I got to college, I was like,
20:27
Speaker 1: twenty five is not happening. Okay, I need my years
20:29
Speaker 1: back that I just spent in college. We're gonna look
20:31
Speaker 1: at thirty five. Now I'm thirty three, and I'm like,
20:33
Speaker 1: oh god. She says. When I was thirty, I was like, Okay,
20:37
Speaker 1: I want to have my first child by thirty. And
20:39
Speaker 1: it was always weird because I never said I wanted
20:41
Speaker 1: to be married. Marriage was secondary because I felt if
20:44
Speaker 1: it was meant to be, that would happen. I had
20:46
Speaker 1: my first child at thirty and my second one at forty.
20:49
Speaker 1: I was so hyper focused on surviving that I probably
20:52
Speaker 1: should have had more fun. So I think there's a
20:55
Speaker 1: healthy balance between being intentional about your focus, your passion
20:59
Speaker 1: into just say fuck it and have fun. You're gonna
21:02
Speaker 1: have plenty of years to grind it out. That part
21:05
Speaker 1: hit me because one of my biggest things right now is,
21:09
Speaker 1: you know, I'm open to the idea of beginning to
21:13
Speaker 1: plan having my children. I don't want to have children
21:16
Speaker 1: right now. This is not the time. I think. I'm
21:19
Speaker 1: just beginning to build like foundation in a real way
21:22
Speaker 1: for myself career wise, and that's very important for me
21:25
Speaker 1: to I know it won't be all figured out, but
21:27
Speaker 1: I do want a certain foundation before I have my kids.
21:31
Speaker 1: But when she said she at one point was planning
21:34
Speaker 1: her children, and she was just like, you know, if
21:36
Speaker 1: marriage happens, it happens. I want to be married. I
21:38
Speaker 1: want the family dynamic. That is something I've always said,
21:41
Speaker 1: but I realized this year that I've been even though
21:45
Speaker 1: I've always said that. And a big part of that
21:48
Speaker 1: is because I didn't grow up with my father in
21:49
Speaker 1: my house. I met my dad when I was like thirteen.
21:52
Speaker 1: I can pick up the phone and call Umn. He
21:54
Speaker 1: may or he may not answer. It depends on what
21:56
Speaker 1: he's going through that day. And if he answers, how
22:00
Speaker 1: well our conversation goes depends on him his energy that day.
22:04
Speaker 1: And I mean my dad watches and listens to everything
22:07
Speaker 1: gets upset when I say things like that. But it's
22:09
Speaker 1: the honest truth and the reason why I bring that up.
22:11
Speaker 1: It's not a stab at him. It's just that I
22:14
Speaker 1: realized this year has created an idea in my mind
22:18
Speaker 1: of like, Okay, I want to be married and I
22:21
Speaker 1: want the family dynamic because it's not what I had
22:24
Speaker 1: traditionally in my house. My brother's dad was around, I
22:27
Speaker 1: have a lot of uncles and like all of that,
22:28
Speaker 1: so I was straight. I never knew I needed for
22:31
Speaker 1: a man in the household until I met people who
22:33
Speaker 1: had their dads in their house. But it's so it's
22:38
Speaker 1: created this idea that, yes, I want all of this
22:40
Speaker 1: stuff because I didn't have it, and I know it's needed,
22:44
Speaker 1: but I don't even really know why, like like what
22:48
Speaker 1: is the need? Like like why am I saying that?
22:51
Speaker 1: Like I'm saying it because traditionally that's what's supposed to happen.
22:55
Speaker 1: But I think this past so not this past summer.
22:59
Speaker 1: It was the summer prior to that about yeah, the
23:01
Speaker 1: summer when I came home from LA and I was
23:04
Speaker 1: in transition, so it was, you know, I had done
23:06
Speaker 1: a little bit of a guest host in twenty twenty
23:07
Speaker 1: three breakfast Club. That was the first time that me
23:10
Speaker 1: and my dad spent like actual real time together because
23:14
Speaker 1: he was helping me renovate an event space that I
23:15
Speaker 1: had at the time. And I remember one day we
23:18
Speaker 1: were on the phone with a contractors or it was
23:20
Speaker 1: like a painting company. It was a painting company, like
23:22
Speaker 1: a paint store. And my dad has an interior decorating
23:25
Speaker 1: business that's painting and all the things, so that's why
23:27
Speaker 1: he was there helping me. And there were two conversations actually,
23:30
Speaker 1: so this is the first one. So I was on
23:32
Speaker 1: the phone with the paint store and I'm talking through
23:35
Speaker 1: things and he's telling me what to say, and I
23:38
Speaker 1: think I said something wrong or like they told me
23:40
Speaker 1: they didn't have something that like it didn't make sense
23:42
Speaker 1: for them not to have, and he took the phone
23:45
Speaker 1: and the way that they talked to him, it was
23:47
Speaker 1: a guy on the phone, the way that he talked
23:49
Speaker 1: to my dad, and just I don't know the level
23:53
Speaker 1: of understanding that happened in the conversation instantly because a
23:55
Speaker 1: man got in the phone, got on the phone and
23:59
Speaker 1: kind of just like took over and I was able
24:00
Speaker 1: to sit back. I remember literally the feeling of like, oh,
24:06
Speaker 1: this is what having a dad around is like. And
24:10
Speaker 1: for like, I literally remember that, and that's something as
24:12
Speaker 1: small as like ordering paint from a paint store, but
24:14
Speaker 1: I just remember the reassurance of like my dad got it,
24:19
Speaker 1: and like the reassurance of oh, a man is here.
24:21
Speaker 1: So it feels like like there's like a safer space
24:24
Speaker 1: or like a you know, like I never felt that before,
24:27
Speaker 1: so I didn't really understand because it's different when it's
24:29
Speaker 1: your father versus like, you know, my brother's dad, and
24:31
Speaker 1: even that him and my mom weren't together getting too personal.
24:35
Speaker 1: My whole point is is that when I read this
24:37
Speaker 1: from Nia Long, I realized that when she says and
24:42
Speaker 1: it was always weird because I never said I wanted
24:45
Speaker 1: to be married. That's different for me. I've always said
24:47
Speaker 1: I wanted to be married, but she says marriage was
24:49
Speaker 1: secondary because I felt if it was meant to be,
24:51
Speaker 1: that would happen. I think, in my mind, I'm saying
24:55
Speaker 1: this is what I want, but my actions I was
24:57
Speaker 1: moving like, I mean, I can deal with whoever, even
25:02
Speaker 1: if I don't see my forever or this being the
25:05
Speaker 1: father of my children, because that's just gonna find me
25:10
Speaker 1: like the great man who's the father of my children,
25:13
Speaker 1: but not just the father of my children, but my
25:15
Speaker 1: life partner and my husband. Oh, that'll just find me.
25:18
Speaker 1: I don't need to be intentional, because it'll just snap
25:20
Speaker 1: into or it'll just happen. No. I got to a
25:24
Speaker 1: certain point being single and being in my thirties and
25:27
Speaker 1: really starting to like think through what I want my
25:31
Speaker 1: like this thing over here on the left of me
25:34
Speaker 1: that I'm saying I want like marriage and children, and like,
25:37
Speaker 1: I don't just want a man in my house and
25:41
Speaker 1: to be married because I didn't see that. I want
25:43
Speaker 1: a real life partner. I want my kids to see
25:45
Speaker 1: me happy. I want my kids to see me working
25:47
Speaker 1: through things and it actually working out when I'm not happy.
25:50
Speaker 1: I want my kids to see me being respected, valued,
25:53
Speaker 1: and I want my kids to see me doing that
25:55
Speaker 1: to someone as well. And I, oh, my god, Like
25:59
Speaker 1: this past year has just been Oh, even the way
26:04
Speaker 1: I speak about kids, I say my kids, and I've
26:08
Speaker 1: had to learn how to be like our kids and
26:11
Speaker 1: our because in my mind marriage and all that, it
26:14
Speaker 1: was just like I'm gonna do that because it hasn't
26:16
Speaker 1: been done. And then I haven't seen it, not because
26:18
Speaker 1: I truly felt like I was ever gonna find a
26:21
Speaker 1: person that was my actual like, Okay, this is my partner,
26:24
Speaker 1: we're equally yoked. This is what my children need, not
26:28
Speaker 1: just this is what I want for them. That whole
26:32
Speaker 1: little line right there, Oh, it's just gonna happen. It'll
26:35
Speaker 1: just fall in the place. Felt that, And that's where
26:38
Speaker 1: I was up until this year thirty three. And then
26:40
Speaker 1: she compares it to her her fifties, and she says,
26:43
Speaker 1: I'm turning fifty five this year. My sixties are around
26:46
Speaker 1: the corner. It sounds crazy to me, but I still
26:48
Speaker 1: feel like I'm in my thirties. I felt smarter, I
26:50
Speaker 1: feel safe. I've practiced a lot of forgiveness over the
26:53
Speaker 1: past couple of years. Most of my relationships are in
26:55
Speaker 1: a really good place. And I did it for myself.
26:57
Speaker 1: I didn't do it for anyone else. Don't get me wrong.
27:00
Speaker 1: There are days that I want to go in we
27:02
Speaker 1: all have that. But when I feel that pressure or
27:04
Speaker 1: that angst, or that anxiety, or that need to have
27:07
Speaker 1: a deeper understanding of something or someone, I tend to
27:09
Speaker 1: get quiet and think about what I'm going through rather
27:12
Speaker 1: than whatever the outside circumstance is, and then you can
27:16
Speaker 1: approach things differently. I'm not in my fifties, but I
27:19
Speaker 1: feel like I've begin to do that a bit differently.
27:22
Speaker 1: And maybe it's too it's because of like Nia Long
27:25
Speaker 1: has been famous and has been had platform and success
27:29
Speaker 1: in a public eye for a really long time. Everything's
27:32
Speaker 1: just starting for me, like and I'm such a I'm like,
27:34
Speaker 1: you know, small fish, huge pond on this platform that
27:38
Speaker 1: is like, you know, elevating things every single day for me.
27:41
Speaker 1: So I'm beginning to think about how I deal with things,
27:44
Speaker 1: how I respond to things, so much more and so
27:49
Speaker 1: differently than how I've ever been because my only thought is,
27:53
Speaker 1: you can't f this up. This is your shot. You
27:56
Speaker 1: cannot mess this up, and anything you do can has
27:59
Speaker 1: a chance to hear the public. You cannot mess this up.
28:03
Speaker 1: So I mean this article, and I didn't even fully
28:05
Speaker 1: go through everything, but this article in reading about na
28:09
Speaker 1: along and just you know, where her thinking is today,
28:11
Speaker 1: from where she's come from and where she's been and
28:13
Speaker 1: where she's going. She talks about you know, she's dropping
28:16
Speaker 1: a memoir soon. She has a project coming up with
28:18
Speaker 1: Lorenz Tape. It was a great read. It was a
28:21
Speaker 1: great read, and I think you know here on the
28:24
Speaker 1: last with Laurena Rose, I think one of the things
28:26
Speaker 1: that it's beautiful is that we get to talk about
28:29
Speaker 1: things in pop culture and in conversations, in conversation, but
28:34
Speaker 1: we get to really have a conversation. This was, you know,
28:37
Speaker 1: something that made me reflect. Would love for you guys
28:40
Speaker 1: to go read the article on the cut, the feature
28:43
Speaker 1: on Nia along, let me know what you guys think,
28:45
Speaker 1: Get in the comments, get in you know, the tweets.
28:48
Speaker 1: Take it to the streets and the tweets you call
28:50
Speaker 1: the truths. Be outside outside, wee outside outside. Every other page,
28:56
Speaker 1: I want to hear from you guys, ladies especially like
29:00
Speaker 1: the ladies. I would love to hear from you guys
29:02
Speaker 1: because I think that conversation of like have it all.
29:06
Speaker 1: We're having it a lot more now and we see
29:08
Speaker 1: people who do it like I commend Cardi b I
29:10
Speaker 1: commend all of the women, Beyonce, all of the women
29:12
Speaker 1: that are able to because it's not easy whatsoever, but
29:16
Speaker 1: it's scary. That is one of the things that I
29:19
Speaker 1: am most scared of doing. Someone asked me a question,
29:23
Speaker 1: what is the dream that you are scared of most
29:26
Speaker 1: And I said becoming a mom. And I'm not scared
29:28
Speaker 1: because I don't think I'll be a great mom. I'll adjust,
29:30
Speaker 1: I move in shake. You can take care of your
29:35
Speaker 1: mother and your grandmother because the older people get, the
29:38
Speaker 1: more you can't tell them nothing. If I can figure
29:40
Speaker 1: that out, I can figure out a child, especially with
29:42
Speaker 1: a great partner on which I have. But the biggest
29:46
Speaker 1: thing for me is how will it impact my career?
29:51
Speaker 1: You know, you got to be fit, you gotta show
29:53
Speaker 1: it physically, mentally in ways like never before when you're
29:57
Speaker 1: a woman on a platform and I'm new here, so
30:02
Speaker 1: my girl, you only got one shot comes in to
30:06
Speaker 1: thought so much when I think about when am I
30:09
Speaker 1: gonna have kids? I want kids, twins to start twin
30:13
Speaker 1: girls and they're gonna be all over YouTube. But that's
30:15
Speaker 1: a whole another story. But yes, like that's the that's
30:18
Speaker 1: one of my biggest Like I'm scared. It's like I'm
30:21
Speaker 1: playing double dutch, like all right, when, all right? When?
30:24
Speaker 1: Because I do want to plan it. I think my
30:25
Speaker 1: career deserves a plane, a plan a bit. But I'm down,
30:30
Speaker 1: you know, if not playing. But I'm scared. So hearing
30:33
Speaker 1: her talk about, you know, just the way she used
30:34
Speaker 1: to think about marriage, and you know she's okay with
30:38
Speaker 1: having a career while having the family, and she's always
30:40
Speaker 1: been that way, and she's always set out to be
30:42
Speaker 1: that way. It's encouraging to hear because it's tough. So,
30:45
Speaker 1: ladies in the streets, in the tweets, let me know
30:47
Speaker 1: what y'all think. Is anybody else out there scared like me?
30:52
Speaker 1: Is this thing going? I'm the only one. Let's talk.
30:55
Speaker 1: At the end of the day, you guys could be
30:57
Speaker 1: anywhere with anybody having a conversation about all all these things,
31:00
Speaker 1: but you choose to be right here with me, my lowriders,
31:03
Speaker 1: and I appreciate you guys for that. I'm Laura l Rosa.
31:07
Speaker 1: This is the latest with Laura l. Rosa, and I
31:08
Speaker 1: will see you guys in my next episode.