Latest / Numotion Ally Program Podcast / Diving Deep With Jillian: SCI Pregnancy Update
Transcript
- Leah Holderbaum: Welcome to Allah, a coast-to-coast, peer-to-peer networking community, where people who use medical supplies share tips, tricks, and experiences with their community. I am Alexis, I'm your host today, and today we have Gillian with me who has some great news. Jillian, tell me a little bit about what's going on right now. Thank you so much. So happy to be here. Right now we are here for a second podcast. And last time at the end of the show that we shared, I got to surprise everybody and tell everybody that I was expecting. And here we are several months later. And now I am six plus months along with little baby girl. it's a girl. It's a girl. I'm so happy for you. Girls are the best. I'm excited. so I wanted to come back and share some of my experience along the way of dealing with a pregnancy with a spinal cord injury, because there's not a lot of information and stories out there. And I think it's important to share my experiences in the hopes that other people get excited and maybe want to share on that journey too. Awesome. Awesome. So let's back up and tell us a little bit about your injury. Tell us your level of injury and then we'll dive into pregnancy with paraplegia. what a good title. Thanks. I penned it myself. So my journey here has been started with my spinal cord injury at 23 years old, which was 10, almost 10 years ago at this point. I was on vacation with my friends in Mexico and I fell off a third-story balcony. And landed directly onto the ground below. I s broke my v few vertebrae in my back, but I shattered T four, which caused a complete spinal cord injury. had some surgery in Miami, which was the closest rehab center at the time. I spent a couple months at Jackson Memorial getting stronger and learning how to do everything from Put on a pair of socks to transfer myself in and out of the shower. from there, I went to Gaylord Specialty Healthcare in Connecticut, where I was living at the time, and spent another month there doing way more rehab and really getting after it. And I had the best physical therapist in the world. And he just I might have said this last time, but I left that. hospital with more confidence than I had pre-injury. I was just so sure of myself and sure of the journey and confident in my mental ability to survive this, my physical ability and strength I've gained along the way. so fast forward 10 years and I've had so many incredible experiences with my chair. It has brought me to more countries, states, of more road trips than I ever took before. And I've gotten to experience all the things from a wheelchair dance camp in LA to an adventure race in Colorado, to a monoski camp up in Vermont. And scuba diving was all the way to the depths of the ocean, scuba diving in the Cayman Islands or only a few months ago. Shameless plug. If this is the first time you've ever seen Jillian, go back, find the scuba diving one. It's amazing. Diving deep. Yep. so it's brought me some incredible places, met some incredible people, including my husband. And I honestly attribute my injury An experience and then share with our relationship. so it's really special, really weird coincidence, but his best friend in high school was in a car accident when they were seniors and he suffered a spinal cord injury. So Jason was in a car, a couple of cars behind him, rode with him to the aim in the ambulance to the hospital, and was there every step of the way. On his journey through rehab and getting back to life. and they're still best friends to this day. So he really knew when we first met, he understood how normal life could be with a spinal cord injury. so in my past dating and relationships, I feel like I spent a lot of time trying to prove to the other person how independent I was. And how again, normal my life was. I was living on my own. I do everything by myself. if you ask me out to a date at a bar or something, I'm gonna transfer up onto the bar stool. but with him I got to skip all of that and we just got to the real deep stuff and I don't think I would have ever met him if it wasn't for my chair. And we wouldn't have this little girl on the way. So I'm so excited about All good things. So how has your pregnancy been going? You're six months along? Yep. I think tomorrow we said I think was twenty seven weeks. and pregnancy so far has been totally fine. really typical based on all the other experiences I hear I've heard from able bodied women. So did you have the The morning sickness that most people had. Yeah, exactly. Right. So at that six-week marker or so, I started getting queasy and nauseous. And luckily my sister-in-law had a baby a couple months prior, and so she shipped me a whole box of goodies to help me combat all that stuff. So I was living on like ginger chews and anti nausea drops. but luckily it wasn't too bad. Like I wasn't throwing up at all. I was just Look queased, I learned that if I ate every couple of hours, something little, I felt a lot better. Good. Yes. Awesome. And then how has it been with like your mobility? And l you're six months along, so you're starting to show, even though you can't see it on camera, you're starting to show your body distribution is different. How is that affecting you? Yeah, I honestly haven't I didn't notice much of a change. Up until a week or two ago. and the first thing I noticed was getting into my car. I grabbed that emergency handle and I put my hand on top of the roof and I just kind of swing my butt in. And that's always worked really well for me. My feet are already in the car, so I kind of use that to pivot off of. And I started kind of missing my seat. It it my Edge of my seat goes up a little bit on the side and I just wasn't totally clearing it all the way. And I realized, wow, like I'm actually like I'm starting to feel the effects. And so I've just learned to take it a little slower. my husband doesn't love how it looks anymore, but if I kind of miss the seat, I'll just lean in a little more and make sure I'm not falling out of the car at all. There you go. But Right now it's okay. I'm nervous about what it's gonna be like in the next couple months as she grows from I think two pounds right now up to like six, eight, however big she's gonna be when I have her. but that's car transfers. Getting in and out of bed not too much different because my bed is really nice and level with my chair, which I love, makes life really easy. In the bathroom, I've never had a grab bar or anything. I just pop on and off of the toilet regularly, but I'm starting to feel like maybe I want a little bit of extra stability. so I bought a grab bar off Amazon and it's just this tiny little one that you actually just hook your toilet paper onto the end so you can't even tell that it's a mobility aid. which is kinda cool. So I'm thinking I might install that soon just for some extra stability. better safe than sorry. And then what I'm most worried about is getting my chair and out of the car. I can't even imagine. With the belly, you can't pull it over yourself. Right? Okay. So I've been practicing. I'm trying to like put my seat all the way back and make sure I'm giving myself several inches of extra clearance to practice how it's gonna be when my belly is bigger. Cause right now, luckily, I got a new chair last year and it's this wonderful carbon fiber chair. It weighs less than half of what my last chair weighed, right? amazing. So I can easily pick up this frame with one hand and like hold it up in the air while I'm taking a wheel on and off. So I'm not leaning all the way out of my car like I was with my last chair that was just too heavy to hold up. but I'm already starting to feel kind of the pressure and strain of reaching all the way out and taking a wheel on and off. so I'm just hoping continue practicing and preparing myself for getting bigger and bigger, that it'll Make it a little easier. But honestly, that's probably my biggest concern right now is just being able to continue to be independent like that. Like I pick up my stepson from school every other week. And I don't I can't imagine not being able to do that and not being able to just hop in and go to the doctors by myself if I need to. I'm just so reliant on being able to get. In and out of my car independently. and I haven't ever thought of getting a van or any other car with a ramp or something. I'm just I'm just driving a normal kind of small SUV. and I really hope I don't have to give I'm not going to give that up, but it just might be a little difficult. And it's temporary. Exactly. Right. Right. You find a workaround for right now if you need it. I'm sure somebody has a nice sedan for you if you need it. So has your bowel and bladder management changed at all since you have been pregnant, especially in the as your belly gets a little bit bigger? Yeah. So in the beginning, in your like that initial intake appointment with your OB, we go through the list of meds that you're on. And I didn't really think about it at the time, but my suppository Is included in that list of meds. And at the time I was using a magic bullet. That's what somebody when I got it at the hospital ten years ago told me what worked really well for them and I tried it and it worked great. So I have had no reason not to use it. And they doctors told me that they want me to avoid that because it's too much of a stimulant for that digestive system, I guess. And so they gave me, I think, a glycerin suppository to try. It was not working. I was at my wit's end. I like was considering like going on a liquid diet or something. And so that friend of Jason's who also has spinal cord injury told me that he had switched from the magic bullet because it was giving him a lot of issues thinking it's causing some of his UTIs. And so he told me that he had started using a mini enema. Mm-hmm. so I gave that a shot and s have switched over to that fully and it's been amazing. awesome. It's really shortened that process for me pretty significantly, like cut the time in half and it's been super reliable. That's awesome. So that was a great Change that I don't think I would have made if I hadn't gotten pregnant. and I got really serious about UTI prevention. so I worked with my urologist who prescribed me Keflex to take prophylactically throughout my whole pregnancy, in hopes to prevent UTIs that I would normally get through caffeine. And actually my doctor today was telling me that most women are prescribed antibiotics towards the end of their pregnancy to make sure they're not gonna get any UTIs when they go to deliver. So I started taking antibiotics every day. w I got a bidet. Perfect. And my urologist told me about this cleansing system called TherWorks. So it's got wipes and foam. I've heard of those, yes. And so Between those, like what, four or five changes, I have really, really cut down on my UTIs. I don't think I've maybe had one this pregnancy when in the past I was getting them every four to six weeks, maybe. and so I expected my bladder to get worse and be harder to manage through this pregnancy. It's been so much better. so it's been awesome. And I haven't had to make any changes to my actual catheters. And there was a couple weeks, a couple months ago, where the baby was growing and definitely sitting directly on my bladder. And I could tell I was having to cath every couple hours if that. and I don't necessarily feel when my bladder is full. I just felt that pressure on it and I'd get a little bit of tingly A D symptoms. So that was my cue to Run into the bathroom and cath. but other than that couple of weeks, I think she moved up a little bit, put some pressure off my bladder, and currently everything has been going so good. good. it's been great. Yeah. I'm really relieved. And I'm excited to continue on some of those changes post pregnancy and see the change in managing my bladder afterwards. Amazing. So do Does your urologist and OB do they have a lot of patients with a spinal cord injury? Not many. no. So a lot of the conversations we have are kind of led by me advocating and asking certain questions. I hopped around to a couple different OBs trying to find the right one that was a good fit for me and my injury. And providing me the care that I needed and was looking for. And so the first office that I went to, it was just in the same practice that my regular PCP and my urologist was at. So I thought it'd be an easy fit. And I was seeing a new provider every time. They weren't really getting up to date on my history and my chart before our appointments. So it felt like I was starting over. every single appointment. So I decided that wasn't the right fit for me. It wasn't what I was hoping my pregnancy would feel like. So I did some research and found another practice that took high risk patients, felt more comfortable with them. And I had my initial appointment the doctor and she at the end of it said, I want to take care of you, but I don't think I'm the I'm the right doctor too. I wanna do some more research and find an office who has more experience. And I'm gonna refer you over to them. bless her for actually taking the initiative to say that. Yeah. Right. I was disappointed, but knew she would help me get to the right place in the end. And the reason why she didn't want to she didn't feel comfortable taking care of me is because And I'm sure we'll get into this more when we talk about delivery. But if my body doesn't contract the way a normal able body would, the doctors may need to use forceps or a vacuum. And forceps is something that not many people use anymore. So a lot of younger doctors don't have much experience. They might do it once or twice in med school, she was saying, but a lot of the time that's the only time they are ever going to use them. So she wanted to make sure that I was under the care of someone who was much more comfortable using them if it came to that. So I was switched over to a third practice that has been absolutely amazing. it's a practice of maternal fetal medicine doctors who are well versed in high risk. there are several doctors in the practice that have dealt with people with spinal cord injuries before. So they knew automatically some of the things that we needed to talk about and keep in mind as we plan for the delivery and the rest of the pregnancy. My goodness. And did they take note of like the the mini enema set that you've been using and the Caplex that you've been using for your bladder? Are they keep kind of ke taking mental note for their next patient? I think so, yeah. A lot of them hadn't even heard of the magic bullet before and I feel like within the spinal cord injury that's that's the only thing. Kind of the gold standard, right? So I'm happy to share that knowledge with any of the other providers so that they know and they can share with their patients these other options. but yeah, they were all up on the Keflex and making sure that even though they weren't in the same system as my urologist, they could still communicate and have that continuity of care between all my providers. that's amazing. That's wonderful. I'm so glad that you found them. Me too. That's such a blessing. I love it. The OB's office, did you have any issues like getting around, transferring, getting weight, all the other normal things? Yeah, unfortunately, that's kind of been experienced in a lot of healthcare, right? These doctor's office, I would assume that they'd be accessible, but all these exam tables are so high. like the ultrasound tables, even I don't know how able-bodied pregnant women get up. On these at the end of their pregnancies. They are at eight months. I I was doing the like, God, all right, I can get up there. Right. So that was a big thing for me. I I cried my first two appointments because I just I had talked to the office ahead of time t to make sure they had accessible exam tables, this and that. And both times I was placed in an inaccessible room. And finally, when I went for an ultrasound, it took them an hour and a half to get me into an accessible ultrasound room. And even then I needed help to get on the table. So it's just really disappointing. And every appointment the medical assistant would ask, if I knew my weight. And my response was, Do you have an accessible scale? Because otherwise your guess is as good as mine, really, you know? And so it's disappointing that some of these really important medical questions, like your weight, those are so important when you're like trying to figure out the dosage of medications or tracking how you're growing along with the baby, right? But not important enough to provide equipment for people with disabilities, right? Yeah. Yeah. So that's a little disappointing. My current office has accessible tables I can get on and off the ultrasound table completely independently. It's so nice. Yes. Still no accessible scale, but I was able to go to my PCP and wait, get myself weighed there, which was fine. Didn't love the result, but it was fine. Girl, I gained f over fifty pounds with my pregnancy. I get you. I feel you. Right? It goes away. Right, exactly. Right. All but around. Speaking of, have your hips gotten wider with your like wheelchair? A little bit. but my new chair, the side guards are bolted on the side. so they're not really kind of flaring out like some of the chairs in the past would have. so for now, everything's okay. But there's always the option of throwing some spacers in to widen the chair a little bit. but I've seen some new chairs out there that have bases that widen and narrow themselves and are super adjustable. And I think that's such an awesome idea for these times where your body changes just temporarily. and you need a little adjustment. So I'm excited to see how that gets incorporated more into the mainstream chairs and what that process will be like. I've definitely widened a few chairs for friends, using either camber tube spacers or or SyGuard spacers. So yeah, for sure. Has any of the other normal things changed about you, like your skin or anything? The I think the typical I I got my pregnancy app so they'd get a pop-up notification all the time about like, you might be experiencing these symptoms today and those symptoms. I went through a bout of really awful like pregnancy acne around my chin and everything. So I switched up my whole skincare routine, which was a good change that I probably should have done regardless. so that was that. Otherwise Everything has been so typical. Good. Do you have the app with the little your your little child is now a peanut is now a cucumber. Right. It went from a tiny little poppy seed to I think right now it's a butternut squash or something. Maybe no, papaya. A pop's a papaya. Isn't that cute? Papaya, I love it. Yeah. Really so. That thing always made me laugh. Like with the fruits and vegetables that they came up. There's fun ones now that you can change it to like pop culture references. So at some point, like you are your baby's the size of Tamagotchi. It's the size of like an Oscar trophy type of thing. I love it. I absolutely love it. Got some friends that do that one. Are you going through pregnancy with any of your friends right now? My sister is six weeks behind me. Congratulations, sister. So exciting. my goodness. That that's a really fun shared experience. my goodness. Yeah. It's awesome. What's your sister's name? Katie. Katie. Congratulations, Katie. Yeah. So her wife, really cool. They did in vitro IVF. so my sister's wife carried my sister's egg, and my sister is now carrying her wife's egg. They use the same sperm donor. and Little Oliver is seven or eight months old right now. so I got to talk through all this with my sister in law. They've given me so much advice. They when I sent my baby registry over to them, I got like a barrage of forty messages about this is awful. You have to take this off, you need to put this on, these are good choices, type of thing. So it's fun to just have that camaraderie and share everything with them. We're super close. And you get to have like a seven or eight month old like example of what your child is gonna be very soon. Yes, so my their kiddo was born on March I think sixteenth and my due day is March twentieth. So they should be a just around a year apart. So it's cool to see his milestones and know that this time next year I'll be experiencing those same things and I can't wait. Yay. Has anything strike struck you as scary or have you been worrying about anything between pregnancy, birthing and having a wee one? as long as I'm able to continue planning everything out and my timeline is how I'm expecting it to be right now, I'm not too worried or scared about anything. I'm telling you my this app that I've been using gives you a couple of things to do a week. And it has helped me so much because at the beginning, like there's so much that I need to do and prepare. And there's so much that I don't know that I need to do. so that really helps me break down what I should be focusing on at this time and That helped me a lot. my husband has been through this before. Mm-hmm. He's got an almost nine-year-old. So luckily he knows the drill, kind of, and he's been super helpful and reassuring. And even though every pregnancy is different and experience is different, it's been good to have him kind of leading the way in some of the aspects about childbirth and delivery. That's probably the biggest unknown. Right? Because even we were talking about your friend who was a also a T4 complete spinal cord injury and sh she had one experience. I have another friend who's a similar injury level who had a totally different experience. so even these same injuries, you don't know how your body's going to react. And that like unsureness is the scariest part probably. What when your friend had a completely different experience, what was what was that experience like? they had to do a C section which wasn't their hope, but it's what ended up happening. they had a lot of hardware in their back and they weren't able to do the spinal pedoral. So that really changed what happened with them. But luckily that's something I've talked to my doctors about. And we are setting up an appointment with the hospital's care team and their anesthesiologist to talk through my history, go through my medical records, and come up with kind of a game plan in advance. so that when delivery comes, we all know the best route that we want to take. Which would be a natural birth. Do you think you're gonna be able to feel it? I don't know. Right? So that's that's another question. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to start feeling kicks when she started kicking and I still don't really feel them on the inside. if I put my hands down, she's a little gymnast in there. It's so cute. But I don't know as she moves up more, will I start feeling when she's like pushing against my ribs, maybe? it's weird to not know and like not feel this giant thing in your body that's literally connected to you. But I mean it led to another question that I had in conversation I had with my doctor about what if I can't feel the constructions? What if my bladder's leaking and I can't tell whether it's incontinence or my water broke. and so my doctor and I kinda talked through some ways that I could tell if my body was having contractions and feel on my stomach and if your uterus kind of squishy, that's pretty normal. And then it she described it as almost feeling like it's a bone. and that is what your body would feel like when you're contracting. so that was a cool way that I could know and tell. and then the water breaking, that's just gonna be a whole other experience. and that's one of the reasons we are talking about maybe inducing a little bit early before I would go into labor naturally. If everything is healthy and looking good with me and the baby, the size is good. we're talking about inducing anywhere between thirty seven and thirty nine weeks. Mm-hmm. so that we don't get to that point where you go to the doctor's office and realize you're crowning. That is the experience that my friend had. And yeah. It was a little bit startling, I think. And luckily it happened on her first baby, so the second one she had a little bit more heads up and around it. But I would love someday for you guys to share the that experience because her experiences were completely different and she just had she had two very separate babies, very healthy, normal deliveries, natural deliveries. So hopefully you can, you know, you have a nice, easy however it goes. So right? And that's the plan. And My husband has been joking for months now that I bring my own epidural because of my injury, which sounds funny. And I went along with it for a while until I learned the importance of what an epidural can do for me. and it kind of does two different things. With my injury above T six, you're more likely to experience autonomic dysriflexia. Okay. Right. And for anybody who doesn't know, that's when you have a spinal cord injury and something's kind of wrong below your level of injury that you can't feel, it's your body's way of telling you something's wrong, right? So it spikes your blood pressure and in really bad cases it can even cause a stroke. So in order to combat that and my body like spiking my blood pressure if it's going into labor, an epidural would help. kind of block those sensations from going up my spinal cord and getting that reaction. Right. Really interesting. and I did not thought about that before. Right. Yeah. and then the other part that the epidural would play is to help relax my public my pelvic floor. Mm-hmm. And so when you're getting ready to deliver, Even if I have like my cervix is ready and the baby's about to come down, my pelvis can have spasticity and contractions that kind of are pretty normal for spinal cord injuries that would prevent the baby from being able to come out on its own. so the epidural would relax those muscles and help ease the baby out. So it's really interesting. Those are like a couple of new things I learned in the past couple of weeks. that I had no idea about. there's that. And then my doctor and I were actually talking today about the option of doing a C section if we needed to. If I was in danger, the baby was in danger. Obviously we're not gonna prevent a C section just because it's not our first choice. But one of the things she talked about needing consider for a C section of somebody with a spinal cord injury is bladder adhesions. okay. So if you have had a bladder augmentation or superpubic catheter, your bat bladder can build up this scar tissue, right? And it can adhes to like your uterus and cause some problems. So when you have a C-section, there are extra precautions that need to be taken. if you have those bladder adhesions that I I had no idea about prior to. So that's another thing to consider and make sure your doctor's aware of any procedures that you've had in the past. luckily I haven't had any, I've only had bladder Botox. Which is non-invasive and so there were no worries around that additional impact. Good. my goodness. But I would never have thought about the bladder adhesions being a a secondary factor to a C section. Right. That makes so much sense. I'm so glad that your OB like specializes in this. Yes. It's not like it's not your typical pregnancy. Exactly, right? Yeah. They've done so much research and Every time I go in there, if it's a new I'm able to see different doctors along the way because we don't know who will deliver you. So it's nice to have some familiar faces when that time comes. So every single one of them has fully reviewed my charts and knows my medical history and comes in fully knowledgeable, which is just all you can ask for for a provider. my goodness. That's wonderful. Yeah. That's good. I love it. Being pregnant. With paraplegia. Are there any assumptions from your providers, from you know, peers or from just everyday, you know, people that you run into at the grocery store? Have you run into any interactions that have surprised you with the assumptions of other people? Pregnant women in wheelchairs is not something you see every day. No. You know? I mean, only 20% of women or any people with spinal cord injuries are women, right? so we're outnumbered there. And then of that population, the number of women who then go on to carry a child while being in a wheelchair is even lower, right? And There's a lot of stigma around like being able to be a good parent and provide a good childhood for your kid if you have a disability. and I feel like that can scare some people away from even trying, right? There can be a lot of judgment in society of feeling inadequate. and I mean, in the back of my head, that's always been something that's kind of lingered there. But I feel like I've kind of turned it into more of a challenge. where I want to get out there and prove that I am fully capable of being a parent, being a great parent. I've been able to do that a little bit with my stepson, right? And it's been so fun seeing him. learn about disability and just being in a wheelchair. and I feel like it's given him a whole a great perspective on life and on life's challenges. and I feel like it gives him a lot of empathy and some ownership and responsibility of like, I wanna help hold the door and I wanna do this and that. And it's really sweet. and so I'm hoping that I can give that kind of same perspective to this little girl and have her grow up knowing that her mom is capable of handling challenges that life throws and can come out stronger on the other side, right? And doesn't matter what. Other people think about you, other people might say. you could show the world that you can do anything. Exactly. Right. Exactly. Show all. Yeah. What has been the most empowering part of this journey since you're talking about strength and growing? I've been most empowered with just seeing what my body's capable of, you know? I was actually told way too early on in my injury that I was still fully capable of having children, right? Like I'm talking about I'm a day or two out of surgery and I've just been told you're probably not going to walk again type of thing. But also you can still have children. And I was just so taken aback. I was like, I'm I'm twenty three years old. I'm More worried about just being able to put my pants on by myself at this point. Having kids is the last thing on my mind. But Ten years later, when that time came, I went into this knowing, all right, I was told forever ago that this is fully possible. It's fully possible. And so I gave it a shot. We I had no idea. I mean, I feel like a lot of women don't know if they're how easily capable they are of being pregnant and carrying a child unless Until they start trying. Because most of the time you're making sure that doesn't happen, right? Until you're ready. Taking so many measures to make sure that you're in control. Exactly. So luckily I was able it worked for me on the first try. So so lucky. We were so lucky. but it's been so cool to see how typical my pregnancy has been, honestly. Right. I am just still hitting every single milestone and all the symptoms are happening when you would expect them to, regardless of my injury. and that's been really awesome and empowering knowing that my body, even though I have a spinal cord injury, is still fully capable of carrying this child. and Growing a healthy little baby. Amazing. Amazing. Great. So my friend who was going to join us today, who was unfortunately was sick, she did write you a letter. So I'm gonna take out my phone and I'm gonna read you a quick letter. Okay. All right. Dear Jillian, first of all, an enormous congratulations to you. Your life is about to change forever, and it is so wonderful. When I was pregnant, I felt so alone and isolated from the rest of the women. Even my doctors had no experience with paraplegia and pregnancy. My doctors kept saying, You'll be fine. You know your body so well. They were trying to encourage me, and it just felt worse. Yet both of my deliveries were virally uneventful, other than the fact that I never knew I was in labor, as I didn't feel my contractions. The universe had my back though, and I gave birth to a healthy baby boy twice. If you're like me, you may have sneaking worries about being a wheelchair user mom, not being able to do everything other moms can, sharing your disability with your kids. But I'm here to tell you you are giving your child so much. Both of my children are incredibly compassionate and they are innate helpers. They show up without being asked, they see the best in everyone, and they are strong beyond compare. I truly think that my wheelchair shares something with them that most children don't have the opportunity of understanding. So enjoy what you can from the moment. From all of the moments. You've been given a gift, and so has your child. Please do not hesitate to reach out. And I'm so not sorry not to be able to connect outright today. Wishing you all the light and love in your pregnancy and in everything. Ryan. Yeah, she wanted to be here so much. To be part of your community, part of your tribe. So love that. You haven't new tribe member. Yeah. Great. And it's awesome to hear that I've gotten to experience a little bit of that already through my stepson, right? And excited to instill that in my own daughter from the start. You're gonna be an amazing mom. I'm so excited for you. And thank you for sharing your energy and your experiences and already your helpful tricks and tips for our for our followers. Yeah. I look forward to seeing you next time to hear about baby baby raising as a woman with paraplegia. It'll be amazing. Yeah, I'm excited to figure out some hacks. I've got a couple members of the community who I've stolen some ideas from, whether it's crib adaptations or making sure I get a bassinet that has wheels so I can carry wheel it around the house with me. But I'm excited to gather all of that up and come back and share it all with you guys. So exciting. Congratulations, Jillian. Thank you. Thank you.