Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Prank 28 September 2026

Transcript

Prank 28 September 2026 · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Here is another Senseless Survey from Darren Wackhead Simpson on
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: KFM Mornings.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: KFM Mornings.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Okay, listen, we've loaded up with some great prizes on
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: the Senseless Survey. How's this? You know, we always say
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: that in this world moving towards AI, the one job
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: is not going to be able to replace. It's being
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: a tradesman.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: Working with your hands.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Plumbing, electrical, all these sorts of things. On this wheel,
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: we've got a full scholarship on offer for either plumbing
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: or electrical worth over 80,000 Rand.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: Sure, sign me up. Did you just say full scholarship?
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: A full scholarship from New Gen Trade Schools. And the
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: intake's in October this year, January, April, July, and also
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: for next year. So it doesn't have to be right now.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: But if you're thinking of a change of career and
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: you win, this has to go to somebody that wants this.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: You need to be passionate because this could change someone's life.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: That's right, yeah. If you've got a matriculant that is
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: now not sure what they want to do, perhaps this
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: is what they want to do. How's that for a
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: lack of scholarship?
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: Sure.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: We've also got 100 liters of diesel. Amazing.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: Amazing.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: From Deepom Stasi. Thank you, Deepom Stasi.
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: They always come through for us, eh? Wheel of Joy,
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: goodness me, we're giving them education, fuel. It's like, what's next?
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: And remember, Deepom Stasi, they deliver to your door.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: 100 litres. I don't know what the storage legalities are,
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: but did you see some people in Java were storing
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: diesel in their pool? No.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: AI, Darren. Preparing for the worst of it.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: In their pool. No.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: No.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: What are you talking about AI? This is... This is also...
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: South Africa. South Africa.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: Where people have tigers as pets. Oh. Like a fully
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: grown tiger that you never knew and broke free. And
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: that's the only reason why we know.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: It's giving apocalypse, eh?
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: South Africa, you never... When you see a story in
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: South Africa, you never need to go, is that AI?
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: Because I can guarantee you more likely it's not AI. Mm-hmm. Fair.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: It's a true story. Okay, so we've got a whole
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: bunch of really, really great prizes to the sort of
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: lash extensions.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: Dining experiences, ice cream for a week.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Tickets. Tickets, Alice, okay? You've just got to guess how
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: many questions I will ask on the senseless survey. So, Sherlyn,
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: let me start with you. How many questions? 13.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: 13.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: Sibs?
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: Ooh, 11. 11, okay. And Rami is not here today.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: Producer Brad, how many?
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: I'll say 10.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: 10. Okay. You're all wrong.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: Ain't I?
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: I'll say.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: Oh, no plumbing or electrical studies for us. No diesel.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: Going to have to hire the people who know what
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: they're doing. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: This is where I ask a bunch of random questions.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: These are ones that are extracted from the Madelunga Commission,
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: as you know. Mm-hmm. I steal my questions from the
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: Madelunga Commission.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: And you'll never run out of material. I mean, there's
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: just so much. There's so much to take from.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: Because at the Madelunga Commission, if you've noticed, you never
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: get a straight answer. So I'm searching for straight answers.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: Okay. Okay.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: Doing the nation's work. That's all I'm saying. You can
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: get straight answers because there's no lawyers. Yeah, true that. Yeah.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: And if you're wondering when the Midlander Commission will end,
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: they're saying January 2027. So we've still got a while
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: to go. As for Senseless Survey, the end does not exist.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: Yes. So January 2027, if that's what they say, there
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: will be an extension. Don't you worry.
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: Another very South African story.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Because every person that goes up on that stand, they
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: sort of... implicate another 15 people that they never heard about.
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: It's a whole new chapter now.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: They're like, oh, okay, we've got to follow this lead,
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: that lead, that lead, that lead. And then at the end,
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: is anyone going to be prosecuted or is it just
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: to air? No, Brad, it's just a TV show. Season two.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: It's just a TV show. We know how these things work.
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: You're asking for too much. What do you want? Accountability?
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: No, it's just like we can tell everything that's happened,
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: but like then what?
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: No, I'm with you. If no one has to be accountable,
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: then what's the point?
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: No, it's just a TV show. It's like Adels. It's
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: not about singing. It's about how good it looks on TV. Okay,
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: so here is this week's senseless survey. Good morning. Good morning, sir.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: I'm agent 31962. I'm calling you from the senseless bureau.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: I see about 30 seconds of your time to ask
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: you a couple of questions for your country.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: Okay, no problem.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: So are threesomes only for sex or can you join
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: in in a couple's argument as well?
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: No, no, no.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: Do you think a piñata is a great way to
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: teach kids that if you continually beat something with a stick... Eventually,
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: you'll get what you want. No, no, no, no, no. So, sir,
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: if 30s is the new 20s, is 9pm the new 12pm?
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: After your funeral, would you like someone to take your
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: phone and WhatsApp everyone, thanks for coming? Yeah. If you
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: think Gen Z do silly things, might I just remind
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: you that in 2010, we were planking. No, never did.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: Please describe how milk tastes. It tastes like milk. Can
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: you just elaborate? Yeah, milk is creamy and rich and tastier. Creamy,
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: rich and tastier. What if fetishes... Or inherited. Like from
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: your mom or dad.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: Put it down, sir. Put it down. I'm entertained, but
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: you're sick. Hang up. I love how he was thoroughly entertained.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: But that's not nice to think about.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: It isn't, eh? Especially if you're... Is it hereditary?
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah. You're like, mom, is it you? Daddy, is it you?
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: This foot fetish, where did I get it from?
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: Did you like that?
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: No, it's gross, man.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: Why are you guys taking it there now?
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: Darren, Darren, Darren. Remember when you started senseless with like
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: warm-up questions? I feel as though now we just... We
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: go straight into it.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: No, it gets progressively darker the longer it goes on.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, sometimes you're like, how many put-down questions can I
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: cram into one of them?
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what it's all about. So there we go.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: We got some answers. All right.