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Why leaving a narcissist sometimes leads to success · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on beautiful people?
• 0:01
  Welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
• 0:03
  I'm your favorite self aware narcissist Mr. Lee Hammock
• 0:06
  better known as Mental illness across all social media
• 0:09
  platforms. Today's episode y'all is going
• 0:11
  to be about why you glow up and have success after a touch
• 0:17
  relationship with a narcissistic person.
• 0:20
  If you knew into my platform, I use my platform on social media
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  to raise awareness for NPD. Get more people into therapy
• 0:25
  like myself for six years, six years strong y'all and also
• 0:28
  validate the victims, survivors and thrivers of said disorder.
• 0:31
  Said toxic people said toxic traits.
• 0:33
  Well let's just how right into it.
• 0:34
  Y'all. Yes yes yes.
• 0:36
  The narcissistic person in your life is holding you back.
• 0:41
  That's why you see so many life success stories when you get out
• 0:46
  of a toxic relationship with a narcissistic, toxic ass person
• 0:51
  with with a hating ass, narcissistic ass toxic ass
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  person ass ass ass. Sound like I'm making a song
• 0:58
  right? I know y'all see that I'm Vital
• 0:59
  shirt. This is for my Self Love brand.
• 1:01
  I love me I'm vital self love brand.
• 1:03
  Link is in the description every video and podcast.
• 1:05
  But yes, y'all, yes, yes, yes. This is how it goes.
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  A lot of times in these types of relationship spaces, they're
• 1:13
  holding you back. So many, so many people
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  sacrifice your life, your dreams, your success, for love,
• 1:21
  for this toxic person to bet you.
• 1:23
  You sacrifice so much to try to make this person happy, to try
• 1:27
  to prove to them that you're all in, to try to do all of this
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  stuff, to try to show people just, hey, look, this is what I
• 1:34
  have going on right here, right now.
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  I can't deal with this space. I need somebody to help me.
• 1:39
  You mean I need somebody to they want you to be there, ride or
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  die. And when you're riding with a
• 1:45
  Narcissist, you're dying emotionally, you're dying
• 1:49
  financially sometimes you're dying physically because you
• 1:51
  can't physically. You physically, you physically
• 1:54
  can't recognize yourself. You're dying with your
• 1:57
  personality. You don't recognize who you are
• 1:58
  anymore. You die internally.
• 2:00
  It's like an inside out. You die from the inside out when
• 2:02
  you deal with narcissistic people.
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  And that's the space that so many people fall into.
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  Y'all so that's why you sacrifice so much to be in these
• 2:11
  relationships. You sacrifice friends.
• 2:13
  You sacrifice family members sometimes.
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  You sacrifice relationships and business opportunities.
• 2:17
  You sacrifice jobs. You sacrifice so God damn much
• 2:21
  for these toxic relationships. You sacrifice the happiness of
• 2:25
  yourself. You sacrifice your own
• 2:26
  happiness. Y'all for toxic for this.
• 2:28
  For this narcissism person. Because you convinced that
• 2:30
  they're no one. So when you get into these
• 2:32
  relationships. So it's literally like when you
• 2:35
  get into a relationship with a narcissist, right?
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  It's like you're boarding a ship.
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  Let's call this. It's not even the top 10.
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  This is the narcissist. The narcissist.
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  Voyager, Right. So you hop it on the Voyager.
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  The toxic voyage. The toxic voyage.
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  There you go. Toxic voyage.
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  There you go. There it is.
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  I know there's some company back sometimes.
• 2:53
  I just got to talk. So you hop on the toxic Voyager,
• 2:57
  right, with this narcissistic person.
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  You see what I'm saying? So you're hopping onto here and
• 3:03
  you're hopping off your own ship.
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  Y'all you are on your own ship in the in the lake of success,
• 3:07
  right in the lake of chasing your goals and dreams.
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  But that narcissistic person convinces you to say, hey, look,
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  if you want to be with me, if you want to have this chance and
• 3:16
  loving me because I love bombing you, if you want to experience
• 3:19
  real love, you need to hop off of your ship and hop onto mine.
• 3:23
  So, so many people leave your own ship of safety, comfort and
• 3:27
  success to support that narcissist on their ship.
• 3:30
  And they take you away from the lake of success into the lake of
• 3:33
  toxicity. And they drop anchor.
• 3:36
  They drop anchor in the lake of toxicity.
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  So you don't go anywhere. Your life's, your life stops
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  move. You have a standstill.
• 3:43
  You have an emotional standstill, a financial
• 3:45
  standstill. You have a stands.
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  Whatever standstill you have in your life, it was like your life
• 3:49
  stops right here and right now. Right.
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  You and his lake of toxicity. You can see the lake of success.
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  You can still see. You didn't even go that far.
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  You can see it sometimes. Like man, I can see the the
• 3:58
  crystal clear waters over there. The sun is hitting those lakes.
• 4:02
  But over here it's always cloud cover.
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  There's no reflection. The water Murky is here.
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  I'm scared to I'm scared to get in the water.
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  It's so murky. I can't even see the.
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  I can't look the water Murky is here.
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  You can't even see the you can't even see in it.
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  Like I ain't get in there. You don't know what's in there,
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  but that narcissistic person convinced you, hey, there's
• 4:18
  nothing wrong with that water. They gas out you about the
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  water. There's nothing wrong with your
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  water. Your eyesight is messed up.
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  I'm in the water all the time. I'm going, I'm going for a dip
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  right now. They go for a dip in the lake of
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  toxicity every single day. But you don't want to do that,
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  right? So This is why when you finally
• 4:32
  decide to get your strip you like okay.
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  I'm tired. I'm done to being the lake of
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  toxicity. I cannot thrive here.
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  When you finally decide to take a life raft back to that, to the
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  to the lake of success, you leave, you leave the narcissist
• 4:44
  behind and you go to clearer waters.
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  There's there's no cloud cover. There's clear skies.
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  You, you, they've been holding you back in the lake of
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  toxicity. Now you go back to the lake of
• 4:54
  success and now you free. You dropped out of nursing
• 4:58
  school. You dropped out.
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  You stopped being the personal trainer.
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  You quit. You quit going to school to
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  support them. And now you back in there.
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  Now you have. Now we've ordered this type of
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  relationship. You get to do all the things
• 5:08
  that you've been wanting to do. Every every single thing you
• 5:12
  feel like you got held back from.
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  Now you get a chance to do right now.
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  You get this opportunity to pursue these goals and join.
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  Now you get to glow up. They are just saying something
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  to boss up. It's something to glow.
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  This is why. Because you were anchored over
• 5:23
  there in the sea of toxicity and they refused to move the ship.
• 5:27
  They refused to let you grow. They were refused.
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  They held you back intently. They didn't want you to go back
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  over here. They isolated you away from your
• 5:34
  friends and family. They took their job away from
• 5:35
  you. They took their success from you
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  they self. They sabotage you the night
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  before a test before you could get a promotion.
• 5:41
  They sabotage you when you were going to school, made you drop
• 5:43
  out, they sabotage your life and now you out of it.
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  This is why so many times when you get out of these
• 5:49
  relationships, you realize that that narcissist, a person, a lot
• 5:51
  of time they sabotage your life because they wanted you to be
• 5:54
  bound in the lake of toxicity with them.
• 5:58
  Because when you feel down, I feel up.
• 6:02
  When I can push you down, I feel up sometimes they sometimes they
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  would take your head and put it in that damn leg of toxicity and
• 6:09
  hold it down so you couldn't breathe.
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  They held you down so you couldn't breathe.
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  So your success, your career, everything was going down there
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  to die. It's only when you stop
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  fighting, when you stop fighting, when they let you up
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  to breathe. So they try to literally drown
• 6:24
  you, metaphorically drown you in the leg of toxicity.
• 6:27
  They killed your dreams, right? And then sometimes you get a
• 6:30
  life raft. Sometimes your friends and them.
• 6:32
  Hey, we're here to help you out. Your friends come over there
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  with a life raft. But sometimes, a lot of times,
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  y'all you understand that nobody is coming to save you.
• 6:40
  You got to save yourself. Nobody is coming to save you.
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  There's nobody sitting there sitting in their life raft.
• 6:44
  Sometimes you got to hop out and swim.
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  And sometimes I understand that they how scary they can be right
• 6:50
  there in that space that you have to hop out and swim.
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  You don't know what's in this water.
• 6:54
  You don't know this water almost killed you.
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  So many times you don't know what's in this water, so you get
• 6:59
  afraid. You hop into this water and
• 7:00
  sometimes you have to swim away. Sometimes there's no life raft
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  coming. Nobody's coming to save you.
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  So sometimes you have to save yourself.
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  So sometimes you don't. You hop in this water, you don't
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  know what's in there and you just start swimming.
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  You start kicking and swimming, kicking and swimming.
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  Just keep swimming. You don't know what's in this
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  water. You just keep.
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  Only thing you can see is the light.
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  You can see the lake of success, you can see it.
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  You can see the Lake of freedom. So you keep swimming towards it,
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  and sometimes you get tired and you look back and it's just
• 7:25
  easier to go back to the leg of toxicity, go back to this ship,
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  this ship, this bounding in the leg of toxicity.
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  Sometimes it's easier to go back to the narcissity, right?
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  Because they exhaust you, They make it harder.
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  They're they're running circles. They're taking their ship and
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  running circles around you like a damn shark.
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  The narcissistic sharks are swimming in the water around
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  you. So now you're scared of
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  swimming. Like I'm.
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  I'm swimming back. Now flying monkey sharks are in
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  the water circling you. And so you swim back to this
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  ship. Now you're back into toxicity
• 7:52
  again. Just keep swimming.
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  Do I tell people like this is this is like a kid?
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  So y'all watch, y'all watch. Find the Nemo.
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  Y'all watch, find the door. Just keep swimming.
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  Just keep swimming. Sometimes you just got to keep
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  swimming with your arms or get ready to give out.
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  When you feel like you're giving up on yourself, you feel like
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  you have nothing left to live for.
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  Because so many people get into these relationships, places
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  y'all y'all feel like you have nothing they have to live for.
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  But you feel like you have nothing left to live for.
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  Just keep swimming. You feel like you have nothing
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  left this desk. There could be nothing waiting
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  for you in the leg. And success, just keep swimming.
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  You feel like you don't have any more power any more strip.
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  You don't have any more will to keep going forward.
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  Just keep swimming. Because when you once you keep
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  swimming, you get it out of that.
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  You get out of that dog water, you get into that clear water
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  and you can finally breathe again.
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  It's time to glow. It's time to grow and it's time
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  to glow. And that's why I want y'all
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  y'all. I don't think you'll understand
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  how bad I want y'all to win. I've been.
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  I'm brooding for y'all. I'll be room for y'all more than
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  y'all. Be room for yourself sometimes.
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  I know I do. I know that's how it goes.
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  Like damn you room for us more than we room for ourselves.
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  I want y'all to win. I just do.
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  Just keep swimming. Get a community sometimes y'all
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  get a community. Y'all swim together.
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  That's what community like. That's what I like.
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  Damn dolphins. Dolphins have little little pods
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  and little schools. Little school of dolphins, they
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  swim together. Y'all some little empathy.
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  Y'all some little empathetic, codependent dolphins in the
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  little school together, swimming together in a little group,
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  swimming together in the community, helping each other
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  heal, swimming together. When this person gets tired, you
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  grab them, you grab them by the little dolphin fin and you swim
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  with them. These darn statistic people
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  y'all are trying to sabotage you.
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  A lot of them don't care if you win.
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  A lot of them don't care if you live or die.
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  A lot. A lot of them want to drain you
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  until you just feel like you don't even want to get in the
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  water and try to swim away. You think it's easier to just
• 9:40
  sit on this boat. Y'all life is not easier on this
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  boat. What is anchored in a lake of
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  toxicity, where your dreams go to die.
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  This lake kills everything that touches it except for you
• 9:53
  because you're a thriver. But you thrive so far.
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  You thrive this much. Why stop thriving now?
• 10:00
  You're vital. That's what the church said.
• 10:02
  I'm a specific award to show you were vital.
• 10:04
  Just keep swimming. You have to y'all root for you.
• 10:09
  You got to keep swimming for yourself.
• 10:10
  You have nothing else to swim for.
• 10:11
  Y'all your success is waiting for you over there.
• 10:14
  That's why you see so many people when they get out of
• 10:15
  toxic relationships, they go back to school, they start
• 10:18
  working out, they start eating better, they start living
• 10:20
  better. Yeah, sometimes that
• 10:21
  narcissistic person, you know, sometimes you got to swim with
• 10:24
  your kids. Sometimes you got to hop on this
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  lake and swim with your kids. Your kids swimming too.
• 10:27
  Y'all. Some people don't want to swim
• 10:29
  with their kids. Some people want to stay.
• 10:30
  It's like, look, it's easy if I stay and you know, I Yeah,
• 10:33
  Everybody's situation is different.
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  Sometimes when you swim, you swim away.
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  Some of these narcissistic people get extremely dangerous,
• 10:38
  they get extremely toxic and they try to hurt you and harm
• 10:40
  you. Just keep swimming, Just keep
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  swimming, just keep swimming. Y'all I know.
• 10:47
  Sometimes you get in this relationship with 1020.
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  Thirty 40 years. I know a woman in a relationship
• 10:52
  for 40 years. Y'all she just hopped off the
• 10:55
  boat and swim away and her swim her swimming away with her
• 10:59
  getting a return order, kicking her toxic narcissistic husband
• 11:02
  ass out the house head to go live with his brother and she's
• 11:04
  thriving. Like she struggles right now.
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  She knows sometimes. She's sometimes she's treaded
• 11:08
  water in the lake of success and she's struggling to keep her
• 11:10
  head above water. But you know what she fights
• 11:13
  through It takes a deep breath and keeps swimming.
• 11:15
  She just keeps swimming. Shout out Miss Margaret.
• 11:16
  I heard she's still swimming. Y'all she's still swimming.
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  Just get. I want y'all to win.
• 11:22
  Y'all got chill bun y'all See my chill buns.
• 11:24
  I get chill buns when I tell y'all success stories.
• 11:26
  I love it. I love.
• 11:27
  I love when y'all win. Y'all I love when y'all win.
• 11:29
  I promise. I do.
• 11:30
  You know what I mean? Just keep swimming.
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  Y'all you. When you get out of these
• 11:33
  relationships, y'all they're no longer holding you back.
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  They want to hold you down. They're like you like a hot air
• 11:37
  balloon. They want to keep you grounded
• 11:39
  because they you like, you get they're full of hot air, you're
• 11:42
  full of helium. When they know if they let you
• 11:44
  go, you going up, you going to float up.
• 11:46
  They don't want to let you go. They want to lose you like a
• 11:48
  little helium balloon. Y'all me, but y'all thank y'all
• 11:53
  so much for tuning in. I'm super thankful for you.
• 11:55
  I'm super grateful. Make sure you're like and
• 11:58
  subscribe for more Waving the Red Flag show this week.
• 12:02
  Love Bombing. Our topic is love bombing.
• 12:04
  If you want to be on the show, send the e-mail to
• 12:07
  wavingtheredflagshow@gmail.com and tell tell us your love
• 12:12
  bombing story. Anyways, y'all like and
• 12:15
  subscribe for more. Just keep swimming with him.
• 12:19
  This is out. Thank you so much for making it
• 12:21
  to the end of my video. Y'all.
• 12:23
  If you haven't already, make sure you hit that like and
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  Turn on that notification bell as well.
• 12:29
  Thank you so much. See you later.