Latest / Ascension Alchemists™ — God Led Sacred Marriage For Purpose & Impact. A Couple's Embodied Walk with Presence of God ALMighty / E 105 Michael: Four Keys Every Man Needs to Know about Loving a Woman in a Conscious Relationship.
Transcript
- 0:02SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Ascension Alchemist Podcasts.
- 0:05SPEAKER_00: This is your host, Michael Abramson, and today is my solo episode, which I'm so inspired to share with you today, because I really feel this message is going to land home with so many people.
- 0:20SPEAKER_00: As many of you know, Honey and I are in a conscious marriage, a conscious relationship.
- 0:27SPEAKER_00: And you see that we don't only just practice this, we live by it.
- 0:34SPEAKER_00: And I know there are so many individuals out there that are not only seeking a conscious relationship, a conscious marriage, but really to evolve greater than what we have seen, this magical world, love, has been brought to us.
- 0:54SPEAKER_00: For my whole life, this has been a journey of evolution and experience.
- 1:01SPEAKER_00: It's actually what I work with a lot of men in becoming the greatest version of themselves, because isn't it true that we have a relationship, a relationship with every single aspect, whether it's our family, whether it's our partner, whether it's our work, and with ourselves.
- 1:23SPEAKER_00: And there is this level of consciousness that we really are building, growing, and evolving into.
- 1:31SPEAKER_00: And that's why this topic excites me so much today, because to be fully transparent and authentic, I am constantly evolving, learning, and remembering what it is to bring the highest level of consciousness through me in my marriage, in everyday action.
- 1:58SPEAKER_00: And that is why today I want to bring forth what I feel is so important, and that is listen up, men and woman, four keys that every man needs to know about loving a woman in a conscious marriage.
- 2:22SPEAKER_00: These keys, today's episode is going to be an extremely important one because these aren't keys that I've just read.
- 2:33SPEAKER_00: These are keys that I have practiced and continually to practice in my conscious marriage and in being the fullest and greatest version of who I am, which for the record, it hasn't always been like that.
- 2:51SPEAKER_00: You know, when I was young and I was in relationships in my teenage years, in my early 20s, that egotistic mime would usually say, What am I getting out of this relationship?
- 3:07SPEAKER_00: What is it for me?
- 3:09SPEAKER_00: And I realized it wasn't coming from my heart.
- 3:12SPEAKER_00: Yet many years and many decades later, I realize what the real question is, and that is, who am I becoming through loving her?
- 3:28SPEAKER_00: And what kind of love does a man create and allow that love to become in inviting her to be that love?
- 3:47SPEAKER_00: Because many times it's the becoming, and it's who we are actually being to allow her to love what she is also arising into, and in this cute marriage, it's all about the becoming of two rising to the greatest version of themselves, and so I'd like to present four keys today, four keys that I feel are so important and so impactful that truly are what a man needs to know about loving a woman in a conscious marriage.
- 4:33SPEAKER_00: So drumroll.
- 4:37SPEAKER_00: Key number one presence.
- 4:42SPEAKER_00: One of the greatest gifts a man can give a woman is our undivided attention.
- 4:52SPEAKER_00: It's not just physically being in a room, but it's actually being present, listening, looking to her eyes, putting the phone down and feeling what is happening behind the words.
- 5:10SPEAKER_00: Can I tell you this was one of the most difficult areas when I dove into this conscious relationship and marriage with honey?
- 5:20SPEAKER_00: Because my mind was constantly thinking, and it was actually listening, thinking, and not being fully present.
- 5:32SPEAKER_00: But this is where I had to really understand that when being present for a woman actually allows her to communicate freely, to feel safe, to feel that she can have the permission to be herself.
- 5:53SPEAKER_00: This is truly where communication begins.
- 5:58SPEAKER_00: And before we communicate, we as men have to learn to listen.
- 6:08SPEAKER_00: Listening not to defend ourselves, listening not to formulate our responses, but listening to understand and to feel and to allow our heart to really be present.
- 6:23SPEAKER_00: In this time period where our minds can be very distracted, where we're stimulated by so many outworldly experiences, and it can be everywhere from our work, from our responsibilities, even from our family.
- 6:41SPEAKER_00: I can't tell you how important it is to be present for the woman that you love or the man that you love.
- 6:51SPEAKER_00: For those that are listening and knowing how important this conscious marriage is, presence is everything.
- 6:59SPEAKER_00: Just last night, I was honored to take my wife out to restaurant week.
- 7:05SPEAKER_00: And can I tell you, by letting go of my stress, my worry, my commitments that were bundling up and just taking her out to a beautiful, gourmet, exquisite dinner and being present with her actually elevated our love to a whole new way in our conscious marriage.
- 7:30SPEAKER_00: We were talking about our dreams, we were looking into each other's eyes, and we were giving a hundred percent attention and focus to one another.
- 7:40SPEAKER_00: We didn't answer our phones, we didn't talk about the past or future, we just talked about the present moment.
- 7:49SPEAKER_00: We did talk about our dreams, which of course can be future forecasts, but it wasn't about getting distracted of what we needed to do.
- 7:58SPEAKER_00: It was about being present for one another, and that presence breeds the ability to love.
- 8:07SPEAKER_00: Because when we're fully present, we're fully able to listen to one's truth, to listen to one's dreams, to listen to what one that wants to really felt heard.
- 8:21SPEAKER_00: And can I tell you, men, women, all those that are listening, when we can be fully present, it gives the opportunity for love to flow so freely that it opens up new doors in the relationship.
- 8:42SPEAKER_00: And it may be challenging at first because our mind is running a mile a minute.
- 8:48SPEAKER_00: We may have all these areas that we have to do, but if we can just give that moment, whether it's when we wake up first thing in the morning and we grab our partner's hand and we just express the gratitude of what it is that they are in our lives, or before we go to bed and we explain how thankful we are of what this person may have done today.
- 9:14SPEAKER_00: That presence breeds such a deep connection in conscious marriage that it allows an opportunity to really radiate that love that wants to be shared for one another.
- 9:32SPEAKER_00: So see how you can be more present in your relationship.
- 9:37SPEAKER_00: Because in my conscious marriage, it has been a valuable key that when I see my wife, no matter what she's communicating, even if I don't understand it, even if I don't even like it, I'm fully present.
- 9:53SPEAKER_00: Because when you're fully present, then they have the permission to be heard, to be seen, and to be honored and respected.
- 10:03SPEAKER_00: Isn't that what we want for our sacred partners?
- 10:09SPEAKER_00: Key number two, emotional mastery.
- 10:14SPEAKER_00: And this is a big one for men, because many of us men don't understand emotional mastery.
- 10:22SPEAKER_00: And when I say emotional mastery, it doesn't mean not getting angry, getting upset, getting hurt, stop mastering your emotions by putting them aside.
- 10:34SPEAKER_00: Emotional mastery is really feeling everything and being responsible for everything that you feel.
- 10:44SPEAKER_00: Because what I personally learn about emotional mastery is if I'm not responsible with my emotions, then they become a fire, a cannon, a punching bag to my partner.
- 11:01SPEAKER_00: And for many of us men that have suppressed emotions, that even look at emotions as weakness, this I would say is one of the biggest, if not most powerful, areas for us to fully conquer.
- 11:20SPEAKER_00: Because it becomes our responsibility to control our emotions.
- 11:35SPEAKER_00: It was pretty much every single year of learning how to control my anger, how to not project my feelings upon her, not to constantly blame and shame her for areas of hurt and pain.
- 11:54SPEAKER_00: It was such a journey, a journey where I had to ask myself, yes, I'm angry, but I'm also responsible for how I express my anger.
- 12:09SPEAKER_00: Yes, I'm hurt, but I'm also responsible for communicating my hurt.
- 12:15SPEAKER_00: And yes, I am freaking triggered, but I'm also responsible for understanding what is being activated within me that's causing this trigger.
- 12:27SPEAKER_00: And I'm sure if you're in a conscious marriage, if you're in a relationship, these are the areas that we have to take accountability and responsibility.
- 12:39SPEAKER_00: And many of us men were never taught accountability growing up because many of us pushed it to the side and we didn't fully take ownership.
- 12:51SPEAKER_00: And many times we weren't held responsible.
- 12:56SPEAKER_00: When I say responsible, the ability to know how to respond and react to our emotions, because that truly is the mastery.
- 13:06SPEAKER_00: And that doesn't mean there are emotions that we must avoid because they don't feel well.
- 13:13SPEAKER_00: This is when an emotion comes up out of a trigger, and now we're here to see how to move through it, and to really understand that every feeling and every extreme emotion that's coming out of that trigger may not have anything to do with your partner other than she is the catalyst for your growth.
- 13:36SPEAKER_00: Because what I've learned about myself is all those unhealed pains, trauma, and hurt that haven't been fully resolved, become the master triggers, which my wife or my mother, because it surely came from mother wounds or father wounds, are now arising.
- 13:53SPEAKER_00: And if we don't master those emotions, then it becomes a constant warfare.
- 13:59SPEAKER_00: And I'll tell you, in the first couple of years, in true transparency, Honey and I got into some serious battles.
- 14:09SPEAKER_00: And when I look back at it, I was like, wow, I never took ownership of my emotions.
- 14:15SPEAKER_00: I acted exactly like my dad.
- 14:17SPEAKER_00: And when I got upset, I would blow up.
- 14:20SPEAKER_00: And not only did I blow up, I would say things, and we all know this.
- 14:24SPEAKER_00: I would say things that I don't even remember because that anger had a hold of me.
- 14:29SPEAKER_00: But things that I would regret and feel so bad that I would come back around, not only apologizing, but asking her to support me to move through this.
- 14:39SPEAKER_00: When what did I do?
- 14:41SPEAKER_00: I literally unloaded my trash and discard upon her where it was almost like she was a punching bag for the areas that I never actually took accountability or responsibility.
- 14:59SPEAKER_00: So, in this key of emotional mastery, it is so important to recognize okay, what is triggering me?
- 15:10SPEAKER_00: What are the areas about my partner, my conscious sacred beloved, that I may not accept because what happens, what I don't accept about her is something that I don't accept about myself, and it constantly becomes a challenge when it arises, and then it creates separation.
- 15:32SPEAKER_00: So that emotional mastery is such a key.
- 15:35SPEAKER_00: And for men that I work with, I share this it is so important to learn to understand and to become aware of every emotion and how it feels within us, so that we actually catch that emotion before it catches us and we're on the wrong side of it.
- 16:00SPEAKER_00: And within my men's circles, within private clients, I literally tell them the first thing to do is really scan your body awareness to feel what's happening, whether it's the chest is getting puffy, you feel this sudden urge that you want to express and almost like release this internal pressure.
- 16:25SPEAKER_00: Or do we feel like our shoulders are caving in, or do we feel fear coming up where it contracts us and it feels uncomfortable?
- 16:33SPEAKER_00: Any form within our body that's already communicating to us, shallow breath, our posture can be a huge piece of awareness to give us the first sign that there is an emotion coming forward, and we have to take mastery of how to communicate that.
- 16:54SPEAKER_00: And communication, again, not only in presence, but our emotional mastery is really the key to move through the most challenging areas.
- 17:04SPEAKER_00: And I'll tell you this: when we take accountability of our emotions, there's no more defending, making excuses, and blaming others.
- 17:18SPEAKER_00: In a conscious marriage and in relationships, when we hold emotional mastery, we actually allow those around us to share, to express, and stand there without personalizing it, without letting that into us so that we can be that greatest version of ourselves.
- 17:46SPEAKER_00: And imagine, when we master our emotions and we actually control them, what is stopping us to rise even greater than who we are now?
- 18:00SPEAKER_00: Because many times it's our own emotions that hold us back in our dreams, our lack of confidence, our insecurities, the fears that block us from achieving some of the greatest areas in our lives.
- 18:17SPEAKER_00: You know, I made a responsibility with myself that not only am I going to meet every emotion, but I'm not going to let them into my home.
- 18:28SPEAKER_00: And so I made this visualization.
- 18:30SPEAKER_00: I really looked at my house, my home as a castle.
- 18:34SPEAKER_00: And the drawbridge is really the doorway.
- 18:38SPEAKER_00: And I tell myself, I have a choice.
- 18:41SPEAKER_00: I can either open that door and invite all those emotions in.
- 18:45SPEAKER_00: But do I really want to have dinner and share my house and my bed with fears or stress and anxiety?
- 18:55SPEAKER_00: No.
- 18:56SPEAKER_00: I'd rather go outside in an area that I can meet them where they don't have to invade my space.
- 19:06SPEAKER_00: And that's where I invite each and every one of you listening that when there's strong emotions that have a hold of you, when there's fear, anxiety, worry, and stress that has become a normal component of your body, meet them, understand them, learn from them, actually become friends with them because you'll start to understand when we start to master our emotions, we master ourselves for a greater ability to unify with our partners, our marriage, and our ability to move through life in ease and grace.
- 19:41SPEAKER_00: And can I tell you, each and every one of you that are listening, thank you for being here today.
- 19:47SPEAKER_00: When I took hold of my emotions, I've now stepped into the greatest, most powerful love with my wife.
- 19:57SPEAKER_00: Because no longer was I choosing to blame her, choose her to be the victim, choose her to be the reason why it was happening.
- 20:08SPEAKER_00: I was taking responsibility and accountability, and that's where the key of emotional mastery comes forth.
- 20:17SPEAKER_00: Because it really is emotions don't control you or me.
- 20:22SPEAKER_00: We have the ability to control because all it is is energy in motion, and we are the vessel to choose how we direct it.
- 20:32SPEAKER_00: The third key, which may be a key that I would have to say every woman could truly use in a world that literally puts out fear every single day.
- 20:56SPEAKER_00: And that key is safety.
- 20:59SPEAKER_00: When we look at this world, we see on the news, we see in the media, we see in schools, we see around the world how safety is being pulled beneath us and where we have to worry about the next problem, we have to worry about the next issue, how dangerous the weather is, how dangerous this is in safety.
- 21:18SPEAKER_00: Can I say is one of the greatest, most profound responsibilities a man can give in a conscious relationship?
- 21:29SPEAKER_00: Safety doesn't mean there'll never be a conflict.
- 21:33SPEAKER_00: Safety means conflict doesn't destroy the connection because what happens when a man holds a safe container for a woman?
- 21:47SPEAKER_00: It allows her to grow, it allows her to relax, and most important, it allows her to open her heart to love you even greater.
- 21:57SPEAKER_00: But you know what I've learned?
- 21:59SPEAKER_00: I've violated.
- 22:00SPEAKER_00: Violated that safety so many times by once again not allowing my emotions or my presence or my ability to fully give the permission for my dear beloved to express without cutting her off, without defending or making excuses.
- 22:23SPEAKER_00: One amazing thing about safety is this underneath we have so many fears within us, so many insecurities.
- 22:34SPEAKER_00: And when we as men can hold that sacred protection to allow one to communicate their truth, their vulnerability, and hold that safe container, it is the greatest healing you can give another.
- 22:55SPEAKER_00: Because naturally, in that safe presence, it gives the ability to communicate some of our deepest pains.
- 23:06SPEAKER_00: And in a world where safety has been violated, especially within our dear sacred feminine, where the masculine has suppressed their safety, has violated their safety, we have a responsibility, a responsibility to be integral and a responsibility to be fully present and inviting safety to be the norm.
- 23:35SPEAKER_00: When we create that container of safety, and most importantly, in our home, it allows our dear beautiful partners to relax, not to worry, not to feel like there's a storm coming down.
- 23:51SPEAKER_00: Because when we look at our actions, how many times, and I'm speaking to you, man, how many times have we come in and have we shared something?
- 24:01SPEAKER_00: And we not only made them feel unsafe, we made them close up and put a shield around them because we were just reacting from a current circumstance of anger, maybe what the children did, maybe what our parents said, and it literally pushed our wives, pushed our marriage further away.
- 24:23SPEAKER_00: And a conscious marriage safety is key because that's the foundation to allow a woman to grow.
- 24:33SPEAKER_00: When they can take down the armor, it allows them to open their hearts and love you even greater.
- 24:41SPEAKER_00: But it takes responsibility.
- 24:43SPEAKER_00: It takes responsibility in how we communicate, the words we use, and the choices that we perform around them.
- 24:52SPEAKER_00: Because if we're walking around and we're looking unsafe, we're looking like a monster that's going to lose it, then all of a sudden there becomes a closure, a protection.
- 25:04SPEAKER_00: In this world, where many of our nervous systems are dysregulated, safety becomes a vital issue because we're literally running on fight or flight.
- 25:17SPEAKER_00: And that means a constant level of feeling insecure.
- 25:21SPEAKER_00: And that really disrupts all levels of relationships.
- 25:26SPEAKER_00: So if there's one thing I can express to men that are listening, and women that may have men that they can bring forth that awareness is to communicate, and this is what I heard from my wife.
- 25:40SPEAKER_00: When I feel safe, I am able to feel free, capable, open, vulnerable to express my truth.
- 25:52SPEAKER_00: And I've learned as a man, when I don't create the safe conditions, I'm literally creating more barriers and separation from love that I naturally want to see.
- 26:04SPEAKER_00: And I can't tell you how many years and what will be 10 years in November where I destroyed that safety because I came in like a heat-sinking missile, and I literally just projected my lack of maturity and emotions and my ability to communicate from a heart-centered place versus the ego state of mind.
- 26:30SPEAKER_00: So safety becomes so crucial, and that safety requires what I would say is a great virtue of trust.
- 26:41SPEAKER_00: Trust is when your actions and words become the same thing.
- 26:48SPEAKER_00: It becomes the time when you actually embody and align what you're saying and what you're doing to your pure essence of how you choose to be in front of your partner.
- 27:06SPEAKER_00: And I understand those are big words and big statements.
- 27:11SPEAKER_00: And for those that are in a marriage, for those that are moving into a conscious state and they want to receive the best, I ask myself this who must I become to love this woman at the deepest level of my consciousness?
- 27:29SPEAKER_00: And that's to embody pure safety so that I can come as a king.
- 27:40SPEAKER_00: What do kings do before their queens?
- 27:44SPEAKER_00: They provide protection, they provide safety, and they provide an area that is allowing them to be their true natural divine self.
- 27:58SPEAKER_00: And what I would say the fourth and final key for all those are listening in an area that truly brings forth this home is growth.
- 28:12SPEAKER_00: Growth is fundamentally important in our conscious marriage because many have seen this, where one partner may just feel comfortable with where they're at, and many continue to rise.
- 28:27SPEAKER_00: And we see this a lot with women consciously evolving and men just staying comfortable.
- 28:34SPEAKER_00: Because right now, if we look at this world, there's a higher level of conscious expansion within our feminine sacred energies than our masculine.
- 28:46SPEAKER_00: Men, we gotta call it like we see it.
- 28:49SPEAKER_00: We can't stay comfortable, we can't stay where we are because discomfort is growth, and discomfort allows us to move into our highest level.
- 29:01SPEAKER_00: Not judging discomfort is bad, but looking at what growth does, because growth becomes a natural, evolutionary way of committing to your conscious relationship.
- 29:16SPEAKER_00: If we look outward in nature, trees, animals, insects are constantly growing.
- 29:25SPEAKER_00: Every day our physical body is constantly growing, but we also have to evolve our emotional body, and that means working with emotional mastery.
- 29:35SPEAKER_00: We have to evolve our mental body, which means dissolving our limited beliefs and moving beyond what we've been told to what is within us.
- 29:49SPEAKER_00: You know, we have to ask the questions within us, well, who am I becoming?
- 29:56SPEAKER_00: And who are we becoming together?
- 30:00SPEAKER_00: You know, many times when I'm in a conflict with honey and our relationship, I look back at it and I say, wow, what is this conflict or challenge teaching me?
- 30:10SPEAKER_00: And how can I grow from it?
- 30:14SPEAKER_00: Where is this relationship taking me so I can keep evolving?
- 30:18SPEAKER_00: Because what happens if in each step along the way I may meet an area that I have to stretch deeper and grow even larger?
- 30:29SPEAKER_00: I recognize growing up that in a family that sometimes where I've been placed in a very safe, comfortable area, I had to stretch myself out of that comfort because I was using my limitations to keep me at bay.
- 30:47SPEAKER_00: And that's where I had to really look and take accountability within myself and say, wow, if I'm going to be in a conscious marriage, and there's an opportunity for me to share this wisdom and these tools to the great sacred conscious of all men, which by the way, tomorrow, Thursday, August 27th at 8 p.m.
- 31:08SPEAKER_00: Eastern, 5 p.m.
- 31:11SPEAKER_00: Pacific, I'm having my next online conscious of all men's gathering that will have our guest speaker, Paul Leftenegger, an award conscious-winning singer, composer, speaker of nine albums over 200 countries will be our guest speaker.
- 31:33SPEAKER_00: And it's going to be on devotion, which I'll bring purpose.
- 31:37SPEAKER_00: It all comes into what I see growing into the fullest and greatest version of ourselves.
- 31:45SPEAKER_00: You know, when I look at life and I look at conscious marriage, we have to recognize we may not be the same person we met, our significant other.
- 31:56SPEAKER_00: She may not, he may not, but it's our responsibility to get to know what that presence is within us, our God Almighty presence, our divine presence.
- 32:08SPEAKER_00: Because once we understand that is constantly growing and expanding through us, then it becomes our commitment and our devotion to live and lead from our purpose.
- 32:23SPEAKER_00: And that is why it's so important to keep growing, to consciously see within ourselves where do we have to elevate?
- 32:35SPEAKER_00: For myself, many times I look at when I get into an emotional wreck, what is anger teaching me and how can I evolve from it so it's not holding me back?
- 32:47SPEAKER_00: Just last night I was overwhelmed because there was so much stress of what I had to complete before leaving the country in less than five days.
- 32:56SPEAKER_00: Yet I could have given the driving wheel to that anger, stress and worry, which could have canceled one of the most romantic nights I had with my dear beloved honey.
- 33:07SPEAKER_00: Yet I took control.
- 33:08SPEAKER_00: I went out, I went up to the paddle board, went into the lake, and I sat there and I meditated.
- 33:15SPEAKER_00: And I just allowed all of that stress and worry to dissolve in the water and the beautiful nature around me, knowing it was my responsibility to grow beyond my emotional reaction and that impact that could have not only affected honey, but the relationship of our conscious marriage.
- 33:37SPEAKER_00: How important internal growth is in the alignment of our physical, mental, emotional, spiritual body.
- 33:45SPEAKER_00: Many of us we look at that growth physically, but I like to bring forth the awareness that when we can really look at the growth of our mind and how much our ego can control ourselves and then raise the notch to see how that's connected to our emotions and how unresolved trauma, pain, and hurt actually feeds the limited beliefs, then it becomes our responsibility every single day to grow and expand.
- 34:18SPEAKER_00: And for those that are on this path, thank you for continuing.
- 34:23SPEAKER_00: Thank you for allowing yourself to really look in the mirror and see how can I be the greatest version of myself because it's a day that I'm constantly growing.
- 34:35SPEAKER_00: And so it becomes our journey.
- 34:39SPEAKER_00: It becomes a journey which I can bring forth these keys in my own life that have helped love a woman to my deepest capacity in this conscious marriage.
- 34:55SPEAKER_00: And it becomes our responsibility when we want to be in a conscious relationship, conscious marriage, to know how important our presence, our emotional mastery, our safety, and our growth are literally the pieces that give us the permission to love our sacred partners and to our greatest and highest level.
- 35:24SPEAKER_00: There's a question that I asked myself, and this is a question I'd like to share, and I'd like to bring it forth to the mem.
- 35:35SPEAKER_00: If the woman I love could experience my love, not through what I say, but through my presence, my emotional maturity, my integrity, and my willingness to grow, what would she experience?
- 35:56SPEAKER_00: What would our relationship look like?
- 36:00SPEAKER_00: Because in a conscious marriage, it becomes vital to truly love yourself and bring forth that into your highest capacity to love your partner so that you can share that journey together.
- 36:24SPEAKER_00: And that is the foundation that gives the responsibility and our presence and our emotional mastery and the safety and the growth that becomes the discipline we apply each and every day to really be the greatest love that we can create for our dear, beautiful partners.
- 36:53SPEAKER_00: So I want to thank each and every one of you today.
- 36:56SPEAKER_00: This was a topic that I felt so inspired because I feel right now when we speak about love, it's going deep into what it is to bring forth those keys that allow us to present that in the most sacred and conscious way.
- 37:18SPEAKER_00: So once again, I thank you all for joining me today and wishing you a most beautiful, blessed day.