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Happy Hour #195: Adulting in Chaos · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha, and welcome to stuff when
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: never told your prediction of iHeartRadio.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: And welcome to another edition of happy Hour, or as
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: I would like to call.
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: It, be wine. Yeah, it's one of the those.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: So if you need to get some wine, go for
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: it as an adult, of course, only as an adult.
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: Yes, it is happy hour.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: So if you are participating in the wine bit or
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: any other happy hour thing, do so responsibly. We trust
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: you to make good decisions. Yes, yes, Also if we
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: talk about any specific.
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: Company, movie, anything.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: Currently not a sponsor, which is a shame. Yep, yep, okay, yep, yep, Annie,
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: are you sipping on anything?
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Well, you gave me a warning that this was a wine.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: I gave you a heads up. I gave you a
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: heads up. This time I did get some wine. I'm
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: still kind of I had I had quite a life day, everybody,
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: So I'm still okay.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: The ready that sounded is like I have had quite
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: a life as if you're like done, have so much
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: life day.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Life day, the Star Wars holiday that I talked about
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: on the previous Happy Hours. So but I feel I
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: feel good and I'm I'm happy to see you.
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: Sam yes, happy to see you as well.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: We started in about your weekend and I was like,
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: let's go ahead and jump into the happy hour because essentially,
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: I'm just going to be complaining about adulting because it's
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: already stressful, and y'all know, if you're familiar with our show,
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: familiar with us. When it comes to the holidays, I
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: despise it, and usually around this time I start coming
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: in about why I don't like it or what the
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: anxiety is. I'm going to bypass all that and just
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: say that's one of the addeds to everything. Yes, holidays
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: are horrible and I can't stand them, and it's coming
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: very quickly actually, but it's okay because I feel like
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: things have gotten easier. Last year and the year before last,
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: I've been doing the gung ho I'm going to figure
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: out how I'm gonna like it, and all the things
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: I'm tried, Like, yeah, I still don't like it. So
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: this year I'm just giving up, like it's fine. Everything
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: is fine. I'm see the family, hope everybody's on their
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: best behavior, enjoy the times that we get to spend together.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: Because I don't know if I've shared much about my family,
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: like as my parents get older. I know, we talked
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: about that and how odd it is and the sensation
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: of knowing that we're coming to a point that we
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: are taking care of our parents because they are regressing,
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: and whether there's their health or it's their mental capacities
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: and all of those things. So there's so many things
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: in that conversation, and I feel like the last two
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: years I've really seen an escalation of them aging, and
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: not because they're doing anything wrong, not necessarily dimension noune
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: of that, which I'm fortunate to see, but because they
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: are getting older so they're able to do less, but
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: at the same time they try to push like they
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: can still do that those same things, and they can't,
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: so it's physically harming them.
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: So a lot of those things. So I'm gonna try
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: my best to enjoy and not regret.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: Any of any losing time with them, spending time and
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: hopefully making good memories because you know, for all of
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: the craziness that has happened, all of the disagreements that
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: we have had, all the things that I still don't
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: want to talk to them about or be around them about,
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: like I have definitely any you know, the behind the
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: scenes had that conversation of like, Okay, they're doing these
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: conspiracy talks and I can't handle this. I don't have
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: the mental bandwidth to argue with them about why they
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: are completely wrong about this. But like, outside of that,
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: trying to be able because they love me beyond measure,
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: and I love them beyond measure. They have taken good
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: care of me and in all of the ways, and
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: I'm very grateful to have them as my family.
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: But yeah, like coming back and.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: Forth of like okay, this is this is you starting
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: to realize you're losing time in essence with that as
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: well as you know, trying to figure the back and forth.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: We talked about what it looks like as a couple
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: imbalancing those times, especially when other families are out of state,
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: and what that can look like. So it's definitely like
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: I'm just gonna go rush forward, not thinking about it.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: This is my new strategy, any and just make it
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: out of December.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, that's a new goal. Correct? Is that?
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: Would we call that a positive a change or just
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: a change?
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: I think there are some positives and negatives to the change, yes.
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: Fair enough, So that's where we are on that.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: But like I don't know about you and any You've
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: done really well in keeping off of social media for
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: the most parts, which is really great because I am
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: being inundated with everyone talking about how we are about
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: to be in one of the biggest depressions the society
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: and economically that we have seen in a long time.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: I am petrified and like I've been having dreams about
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: things that could be issues, and y'all already know I've
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: already had issues and anxiety about the immigration rays that
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: a happening, even though technically I am a naturalized citizen
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: and have been for thirty years and so it shouldn't
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: be an issue. But as we have seen of late,
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: it really doesn't matter. Citizens who have been born US
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: citizens are being detained as well, and we've talked about that.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: I've been seeing man that was a New York opinion piece,
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: New York Times opinion piece, which is shocking because New
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: York Times has not done well.
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: It's not done well. We haven't even talked about.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: How they're like, oh, the women have ruined the workplace,
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: and I'm like, wait, it.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: Was definitely us, uh huh.
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: Like there's so many I'm like, I'm gonna assume this
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: was rage bait. And there's something else to this, I
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: don't know. But anyway, moving back, but they did interview
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: three or four people who had been detainees who were
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: here as they was a quote unquote through due process legally,
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: and I hate that term in general, that they had
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: green cars, they had asylum, and they had the visas
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: and they just didn't want them here or they profiled
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: them and then made up outrageous claims and charges which
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: these people who were detained didn't even know about four
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: weeks later, and the talk about how one man Specifical
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: talked about he was placed in solitary confinement as an
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: immigrant detainee who, by the way, again had asylum, but
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: because they realized their mistake, they stripped him of that
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: asylum and then came back and held him for.
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: Like I believe he said, seven weeks.
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: But because he was advocating for Muslims in the detention center,
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: asking for like prayer times and such, he got placed
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: in solitary confinement. And I'm like, wait, this is what
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: happens with hardened criminals who incite riots. Well, that's not
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: actually true. We know the political political spectrum, and we've
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: talked about the behind the scenes in which in order
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: to deal with and punish people, they put them in
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: solitary confinements. And this is the type of torture that
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: has been researched how long, and yet people within the
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: punitive system do not want to acknowledge that it is
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: an inherent torture strategy that should be illegal. But that's
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: a whole different conversation. Again, this is where I go
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: with and why and I get real off topic, But
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: all that to say is like, what is what is
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: what This man who literally is not doing anything, not
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: inciting it violence, just speaking out got instead of being heard,
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: and because they were annoyed, they just put him in
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: solitary confinement as a person being held with legal papers.
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: Like, there's so many things to this aspect.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: And these are people who are now out and can
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: tell their stories and had lawyers and people who could
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: advocate for them, So imagine what else is happening there?
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: Like the story was intense, So my social media is
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: covered in that, which is something that I can't look
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: away from, nobody should look away from. We should be
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: talking about right now, especially with what's happening again in
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: Charlotte in Chicago, in New York, in Portland, all the places,
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: and apparently the most seville cities in the country. Atlanta
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: has been allowing access to ICE and federal agents to
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: these deep state like if you want to go conspiracy theory,
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: this is where you're like, yeah, I might actually jump
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: on board with this one, because we are we have
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: been held as the highest surveillanced city with all of
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: the cameras that are here, and apparently there were several
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: reports showing that they were using these cameras which were
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: only supposed to be for traffic stops or actual accident situations,
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: are being used by federal law enforcement and ICE and
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: Immigrations Border Control people to go and find people for
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: no reason, Like they just find random things and things
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: that are pulled up maybe incorrect, may have all these information, but.
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: They don't care.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: So that's all of that is what I'm seeing onlin
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: for you page again, as well as the fact that
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: the economics status in the US is not pretty and
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: you know who gets it first are all of the
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: any lower middle class and lower are going to be
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: people who's going to feel this harder than anybody else
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: because everybody else gets the bell out and we know
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: this specific administration has been prepping for that, So I
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: don't know. Have you seen any of this conversation about
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: how like the big wigs are throwing are selling all
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: of these stocks immediately as of the last week or.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: So, I have, I have, But I'm going to be
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: real honest with you. The stock market is not my
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: I just know they're saying like this is strange, Like
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: I don't really know what it means. Yes, I have
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: seen that.
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: You're not the only one. I definitely don't need that.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: But what I do know, and what I do see
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: is that our retirement, which we have no choice on it.
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: And y'all know I have gone off many times.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: Because I'm so annoyed by the situation, Like why are
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: y'all taking my money and putting it in companies I
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: don't care about and not giving me a choice, and
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: yet you won't let me take my money even though
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: it's not my choice, and is my money?
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: Is my money? Dam it?
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we have to basically invest in stock options. That's
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: not See again, I don't know much real stock. This
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: is the problem. But you like have to put and
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: you can choose like a high risk, medium risk, low risk,
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: and you have the option to pay extra for someone
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: someone something to be like, you should sell this one
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: because you're not gonna you're not gonna be paying attention
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: to it, right, But yeah, we don't have an option
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: of opting out.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: Of that, No, Like, why can't I just take the
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: savings with the match, thank you very much if we
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: get it, which for the longest times we didn't, you know,
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: and that I understand, Like.
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: This is definitely privileged conversation.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: But the small amount of savings, which by the way,
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: will definitely be working at a trader Joe's after like
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: retirement age probably, so can't wait to see you there.
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: Hopefully I'll get unionized by then.
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: All of that does say but in that conversation, like
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: why can't I just put it in a high yield
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: se savings account, because this is back and forth of
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: me losing money of when I watch this and I'm
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: like what and this tour my family apart almost because
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: of that happening in the early two thousands and my
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: dad losing hundreds of thousands of dollars being like ten
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: years away from retirement. But at the same time he
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: also lost his job because the first people to go
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: were those who have had the highest salaries but the
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: lowest education. And so even though he'd been there for years,
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: and of course if you're coming close to retirement, they
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: don't have to pay that wonderful. So he lost his
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: job and he had to go on unemployment. He lost
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: so much with that, and that's like where and I'm
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: nowhere near where he was on that because you know,
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: eighties were nice when they were figuring this stuff out.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: The eighties treated and retirees a little better. And as
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: we know, as we come to and we I say,
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: like again, forties, thirties, come to our retirement age, we
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: already know Social Security's gone, even though we've been paying
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: so much into it. It's almost reminds me of a
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: Ponzi scheme, now that I understand what a Ponzi scheme is.
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: It was like, is that not what's happening with the
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: Social Security administration?
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: Is that not? What that is?
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: You're just taking our mind need to pay the boomers now,
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: but you don't have enough for us to give it
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: back to us.
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: I don't't understod.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: No, doesn't make sense.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: This is adulting thing is very odd, and I have
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: been a little more anxious because also owning a house
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: but having to buy the new car, all of these things.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: It's like, what happens if, worst case scenario, our show
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: becomes a little too left leaning for the administration and
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: for some reason we pop up on someone's radar and
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: we don't have the backing to stay. You know what
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: I'm saying, like losing because like, can you hear the
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: panic of my voice? Yes, we already got Like everybody
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: in the Cuntry Tree had such a setback in the
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: last three two years, especially if they're like as things
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: were specifically changing, well, last year was like, oh no,
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: we're in chaos because of things abruptly changing, yeah, and
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: the things being set up for multi billionaires to gain
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: more power because to them, this is all a game,
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: the buying and the selling of stocks, because they have
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: the like extra millions of dollars to play this game
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: on the backs of people who can't, who just pray
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: that they don't lose thousands and thousands of dollars of
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: their retirement so that one day they could assist along
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: with your part time job at Trader Joe's bartending whatever
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: that we can find in twenty years. It's an odd
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: place and again like I was thinking about this too,
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: and I speak about having children my parents, I think
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: really kind of like they suffered, don't get me wrong,
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: and they had a lot of setbacks, but we had
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: already left all of us. They had an emptyness at
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: this point. I was in college. They didn't pay for
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: my college, so it was all like not that they
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: were free and clear, but a little less than having
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: like four toddlers or four teenagers being there. I cannot
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: imagine if you're a single parent with kids and trying
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: to figure out what do we do? And it's because
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: nothing is going backwards. It's not like rent is going down.
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: They don't care. Our interest rates are going up. They
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: supposedly felt like pushed it back.
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: Who to who? For whom? Who? Who? What?
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: Like I was looking at was trying to see when
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: they were like, oh yeah, they kept it. I was
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: like they kept it.
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: It was like so high already? Who kept what? Who's
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: this helping nobody?
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: Because if they couldn't buy the house before they kept it,
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: they like can't now because it's cat there.
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: So what There's so many in this conversation that I'm like,
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: where are we? Like, how are they doing this?
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: On purpose, And this is another conspiracy theory to make
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: everything seem less significant, whether it's the Epstein files finally
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: being released.
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: And the odd like.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: Wordplay that the officials are doing in order to make
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: everything seemingly not so bad when you're.
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: Like what.
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: Or is it because they know if we're in a panic,
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: we're not going to pay as close to attention to
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: all of the law, like really scary things that are
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: happening around the world.
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: Is that what's happening?
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: Like if we're so caught up in our own misery
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: and our own fears and anxiety, then we're less likely
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: to look around about like advocating for others.
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: Is that what they're trying to do?
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: Like my conspiracy has like, oh, this seems purposeful, but
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: at the same time you get some good news talking
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: about But that means other people are realizing this administration
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: is not doing well.
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: So I have seen that.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, but not to my detriment, damn it.
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: To our detriment.
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: So yes, this is a whole like back and forth,
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: and I've definitely had some Russell sleep with this conversation.
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: I feel like, is there a way to prep for
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: any of this?
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: I have been excited to see as bad as things
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: that happened have happened in Charlotte, actually in all of
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: North Carolina, because I did see that Asheville was attacked too,
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: because we know they are These are two of the
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: more liberal leaning cities within North Carolina, so that it
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: makes it for obvious reasons about why he would send
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: them down there. But all of that to say is like,
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: it's really hardening to see all of those protesting people
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: who are coming out and advocating, the people who are
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: coming out, recording and making sure they're knowing what's happening.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: There's now a legendary tale in the making of a
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: woman in her moomo walking out on her yard with
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: her with her gun, protecting her property and her people.
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: So you know, like legends are being created. Who knew?
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: So stories like that make you feel like, Okay, maybe
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: it's not all bad and we know this is that
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: back and forth again and like understanding what we're seeing.
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: The overwhelming over anxious bit are the maybe I don't know,
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: is it the worst of the worst, I don't know,
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: but are there to get that clickbait to get you
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: to listen, to get you to panic. A little bit,
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: and that if we pause in reality, there's a lot
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: of us in this same step and knowing things like
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: this have happened before and people have survived, but also
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: in understanding that people die in these situations. Like there's
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: just like back and forth that I cannot stop and
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: trying to prepare my mentality, my emotions and my physical
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: self to what is happening right now, like all right,
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: but this is what is good, but this is still
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: can happen. This is the these are the things that
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: rise up, and these are the things that unfortunately is
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: gonna happen. And I don't want to sit here and
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: pretend it's not and pretend it's not so bad, and
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: when in actuality it is.
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: It is bad.
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: Adulting feels like that, yeah, and I just said yeah,
• 19:50
  Speaker 4: like before we recorded me referencing this next month December
• 19:54
  Speaker 4: as February.
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: Adulting also feels like that.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: It tests, it tests. I think it's a time personally,
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of the adulting that I thought
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: adulting was is gone. For that's not an option for me,
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: not like not a comfortable option I would really have
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: to and it's just yeah, it's gone, and I'm perfectly,
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: Like I'm well often better off than a lot of others, right,
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: I know that, and that that should say something. It's
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: like that's gone for me, man.
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: But yeah, we have to take a deep side.
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: I think we have to do another Meditation episode come back.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: But no, like there's so much again, like I said,
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: it is interesting when you start thinking about your parents
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: versus you, and like you see the numbers about like
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: what has changed, whether there's financial stuff, the median salary,
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: the median cost of homes, all these things, and how
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: vastly it has changed. But also like again, my parents
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: had four kids, I have zero, and I have a dog,
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: and I still panic about my dog. You know, like
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: there's this level of trying to figure all of that
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: out and how they did it, but understanding they had
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: a little more Like being able to get a job
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: and then climb your way to get six figure salary
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: was once upon a time able you were able to
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: do that.
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: That no longer exists.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: Yes, And as we mentioned a couple of times in
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: previous episodes and we kind of touched on it in
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: a Monday mini you did. But all around the world,
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: the birth rate is declining, right, and it's because people
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: cannot right afford to raise kids comfortably safely, and they're
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: making the educated choice of I can't raise this kid.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: I find it hilarious that some of the talking points
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: and incentives were like, but we won't we need more children,
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, do you see what's happening?
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: Mm hmmm, this cursed place.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: Well that too, but also the money, I don't have it.
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: But all those things, there's so many things, don't get
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: me wrong, And some of these babies are really cute.
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it does. I always feel kind of
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: bad because at a certain point I really came to
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: the realization I do not want kids, and so to
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: me that that's it's not that it's not a problem
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: because in theory it could impact all of us, but
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: it's not something that hurts me personally my heart.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: But I know people who want to have kids and
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: are just like I can't.
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: There's so many of those conversations of the fact that
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: we're like, yes, I you are to be a mother,
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: and I want to be able to like do these
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: things and hopefully and not selfish reasons, because I feel
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: like not everyone, but some of the people that I
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: know are selfish reasons, whether it's to save a marriage,
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: whether it's you know, wanting to someone to like birth things,
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: someone to love you.
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: That's not how this works. That's not how this works.
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: No, or just the whole Like I think it's kind
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: of maybe I'm completely incorrect. I don't know, but I
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: feel like there used to be a really strong like
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: well the rename will.
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: Live on right.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: Which is not even really my name.
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: I've seen so many new videos and I want to
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: come back and talk about some of these things because
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: I found it fascinating. Whether it's a and I saved
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: video that I'm going to send to you any but
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: the fact new statistics show that the highest rate of
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: divorces happening in southern states, in conservative states, and the
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: seventy percent women. Yeah, but like some of the highest
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: violence of divorce I think was Mississippi and Alabama, and
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: it was like conservative technically conservative areas. And it was
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: interesting how many men got upset because in that statistics,
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: they're like, we talked to a lot of the women
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: and ask them why they like they were divorcing, and
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: they're like, why did you talk to the men? And
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: again people come back was like because the majority of
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: people who are filing for divorce in those areas are women,
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: how and so they were like, this back and forth
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: is quite funny, but that just recently came out, and
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: I was like, Oh, we need to come backcause we've
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: talked about that divorce raising women have been doing all that,
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: as well as the fact that I've seen a few
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: men pop up about their dating experiences, and I was like, huh,
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: this is popping up on my thing. Okay, I feel
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: like this has told me I need to look at
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: this one dude. And I can't tell if this is
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: real because apparently this one dude had like a lot
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: of content about going with me on my date or
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: this is what happened on my date things, And I'm like,
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: which I thought for a long time, what about twenty
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: years ago and I was going on all my little
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: dates and I was like, oh, I need to make
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: this a serious somehow, Like I need to make these
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: short stories because.
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: This is ridiculous.
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: So like you can go so many like videos on
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: those but he's supposedically talked about the fact that he
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: got catfished. He's like twenty something years old, and her
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: pictures and it implies that she was younger, and then
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: when he saw her like, oh no, she's definitely forty five,
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: which I was like, oh god, or older, And I
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: was like, ooh, I would you date someone twenty years younger?
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: But she implied that she wasn't that young and then
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: she got arrested because she wanted Helpenio poppers.
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: That's a whole different story.
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: And then like yeah, and then another guy who came
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: on a little too wrong and then got really upset
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: and can't pre canceled the date because she wasn't.
• 26:04
  Speaker 3: Excited for it.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: So it was like, oh, what is happening here? So
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: there's are thoughts about like worlds being interesting right now.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I've been thinking about this a lot too. I
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: was I was trying to research some topic that I oh,
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: it was about gendered advertising because we're getting into the
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: holidays and there's this one ad that plays all the
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: time for me and it is so like I cannot
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: believe how sexist it is, and so it led me
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: to some odd place. But I uh, it just got
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: me to thinking about how there is kind of a
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: strange thing that's happening right now where there's like, you know,
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: the trad wives. But then there are conservative women who
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: are kind of I feel like a lot of women
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: are just done. To be honest with you, yeah, I
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: think that they're just tired, and.
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: I think when they realize that these tradwife trends are
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: not actually something obtainable unless you are a already you
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: have money, b you are a model that fits into
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: this stereotype and like have no standards in your relationship
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: and then also have staff to make you this way
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: that you're not ever going to meet the standard because apparently,
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: like the Ballerina formed woman has items, which I want
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: to go back and talk about, not the downfall, but
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: like the decline of the popularity of like pioneer woman.
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: She was interesting because I feel like she may have
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: been the beginning, yeah, of tradwives. But that's a whole
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: different conversation and people may be like, no, she was great.
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: So if listeners, if you all disagree, let me know.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: But I feel like there's something to that level because
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: Ballerina Farm now has items and apparently she's got a
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: pretty giant like cutting board or would wouldn't board that's
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: like hundreds of dollars that people are dying for, right
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: now like are cooling out?
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: I'm like so, But I've also seen people make fun
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: of it, meaning like who's gonna who's gonna pay for this?
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: Who's paying for this? But apparently people are.
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: Because it does evoke an ideal that she has perpetuated.
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's interesting.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's I think there's something happening right now that
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: we need to come back and talk about. Right there's
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: like a schism or something.
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: There's a disconnect with that type of lifestyle. With the
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: economy downturn, that's like everybody's trying to figure out how
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: to stay afloat. And now we're back to by the way,
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: the Angel Tree. Have you?
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: Do you know what that is?
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: I don't so.
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: An Angel Tree essentially is.
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: Holiday program in which families who are in need and
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: must qualify through certain organizations, and it could be a
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: faith based It sounds faith based, but I don't know
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: for sure. Where they have a list like they say
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: these kids and these are the wish lists for Christmas,
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: and people can go to the tree, pick out a
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: family and buy them things. And the last couple of
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: years you have people being like, no, I'm not I
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: can't afford to buy these things. Which I will say
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: when I worked in children's homes and foster homes like
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: group homes, the one thing I did see that is
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: the biggest time of year that people are going to
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: be somewhat giving, even the church because the church often
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: has the group home being associated with that church.
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: And the kids would get so much.
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: And I'm glad because they needed things they will need
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: like clothes and all that, but they would get so
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: much they would run out of things to put on
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: their list, so they start putting things like I know,
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: for a while it was a trend that the girls
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: were trying to get colored contacts, and I was like, no, no, no,
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: they don't need Please don't do this. Please don't buy
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: them this, because I said, call so many I infections.
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: They can't take care of themselves with this, Please don't
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: do this, Like I just I was like, oh no.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: And so some of the things are like yeah, okay,
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: this is kind of beyond the scope. But they had
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: so much because like three charges would sponsor a group home,
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: and each sponsor will be like, well, we'll give them
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: about a thousand dollars, and I was thinking, like, why
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: don't you put it in like scholarships, and of course
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: if you're a young teen who never had such a
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: great offering, you're going to try to get everything.
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: I'll be like, I would like.
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: To page ten of the you know Sears Christmas catalog.
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: I thank you very much, you know, like stuff like that.
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: So I get that, but like this was the only
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: time of the year. And of course, like the church
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: just needs to get credit for it because it makes
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: them feel good. It's not really about giving, it's about
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: them feeling good about themselves and how.
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: Much they give.
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: So this angel tree is kind of in let line.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: But more and more people have been picking up things
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: and like, no, these kids don't need this, I can
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: I'm not buying them a thirty dollars Like I think
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: one list was like they wanted a remote control they
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: only wanted two things, like a remote control car, and
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: the girl wanted a specific doll that is expensive, but
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: I think like the expensive of like less than fifty dollars,
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: and she's like, no, I'm not buying them that. So
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: she was buying them all off brand stuff and not
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: following the list, and then she and then when people
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: were like hey, why are you doing that? Either doude
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: the list or don't and then she was like, they
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: will be grateful if they're not. They don't deserve any
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: of this anyway, Like this is the attitude. And I've
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: seen these on a couple of these things, and I'm like, what,
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: so this is like disconnect of like who they're getting
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: mad at and what they're doing for is kind of
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: the same level of what I see in this like
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: divide in Okay, I can only do these things, so
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: you don't deserve these things.
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: It's just.
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: Really disheartening. But at the same time, the many people
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: who came to bed and be like no, why and
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: like shaming them p Like, yeah, I think for a
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: good reason. So those that was like the say, but
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: it's such a weird. All of these things, I feel
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: like fall in line in this level of like we're
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: all in a bad space. Do we make this bad
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: space worse for everybody else? Do we take advantage of
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: this bad space so I can profit? Do we understand
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: that this is gonna be rough for everyone? So we
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: should be kind? Like there's so many things, but like
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: it's just like an inner battle that I see in society, like.
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: Everything sucks, yeah, but not our listeners.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: No, you all are great, you are fantastic.
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, there you go.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, oh what pressure because the actual Thanksgiving happy hour
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: will be mine.
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: You can be thankful.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: That's on you. I'll come up with something because yes
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: we're all we also are trying to get ahead for
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: the holidays. But yeah, listeners, we would love to hear
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: from you if you are struggling with all this too,
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: with adulting and what it looks like right now when
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: everything's chaos and everything's expensive, please let us know. I
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: also look rite in if you've got happy news. We
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: love hearing that as well.
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: Need it. I need it badly.
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, you can email us at Hello at stuff
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: Whenever Told You dot com. You can find some blue
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: ski at mom Stuff podcast or on Instagram and TikTok
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: stuff When Never Told You. We're also on YouTube. We
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: have some new merchandise at Cotton Bureau, and we have
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: a book you can get wherever you get your books.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: Thanks as always too, our super producer, Christina, our executive producer,
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: and your contributor Joey.
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: Thank you and thanks to you for listening.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: Stuff Will Never Told You is production by Heart Radio.
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: For more podcasts from my Heart Radio, you can check
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: out the art radio app, Apple podcast, wherever you listen
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: to your favorite shows.