Latest / Giving Pain Purpose with Lyndsay Soprano / Narcissism + The Old Soul’s Journey with Chris Wasko
Transcript
- Lyndsay Soprano (00:00) Hey guys and dolls. Before we jump into this episode, a note about our content today. This is created for adult audiences only. We advise listener discretion. So if you need a breather, take a break and come back later. This is Giving Pain Purpose, where we talk about the game of living in and with chronic pain and trauma. I'm your host, Lindsay Soprano. On this show, I sit with the warriors, loved ones, doctors, holistic practitioners, and those who walked through hell and want their voices heard. You don't have to heal quietly and you don't have to fight alone. I'd like to take a moment to dedicate this episode to anyone who has suffered at the hands of a narcissist. If you've been abused while navigating a damaging cycle of emotional manipulation, constant criticism, psychological control, and the incessant amount of gaslighting and the shifting of blame, then this episode's just for you. I always say things like, I must be on my one millionth life because I am so exhausted. Or in reference to my pain, I usually say something like, I must have raped and pillaged an entire village of people to have to experience pain like this, the physical pain that I'm in. And I'm depraved, no doubt about it. Maybe even a little bit crazy here and there. And some of my friends and family that are listening that know me well are like, just from time to time you're crazy. I'm crazy most of the time. But seriously My body and my soul feel so old, like real old. And I think about where my body's gonna be in 10 years from now, if it keeps going at the pace that I'm at, I won't wanna be living any longer if this gets worse. And I'm freaking exhausted, guys, and beat down from carrying this physical and emotional pain around with me. I've just had it. And what trauma has done to me in this life. And the lives prior, it needs healing, right? Nervous system healing. And it's not like I'm not trying to heal. I wake up every single day to work on healing with you for sobbing out loud. And I go to bed doing the same thing. I've made a career out of this, but I'm just truly starting to peel the layers off of my lived experiences and revealing the true depth of how trauma affects every aspect of who I am. Who you are, and how people in our lives affect our health, wellness, and our precious little souls. And one particular layer that has been recently revealed to me is being raised by a narcissist and how that actually has affected basically my entire life, which is nuts. crazy. So, what is narcissism, guys? And what does it take to heal our inner child? How can we truly get deep into the level of soul healing? And wipe the narcissists from our lives and become peaceful and safe. Well, I have just the hot little chicky for you today. So without further ado, I'd like to introduce you today to my guest, Chris Wasco. Hello, babe. Chris Wasko (03:23) Hello. So Lyndsay Soprano (03:25) Chris is a spiritual counselor, energy healer, psychic medium, and author who helps people heal from trauma by reconnecting with the wisdom held in the body, specializing in narcissism. Nervous system regulation, shock for healing, and inner child work, Chris guides individuals through deep emotional healing and self-discovery. She is the creator of Spicy Old Souls, I love that name, and author of An Old Souls Journey, helping people move from surviving to truly healing. So I'd like to start with a little bit about your traumatic upbringing, actually. And then when you finally said, no fucking more, and let's take it from there. Ha ha Chris Wasko (04:07) Yes, I should have said that much sooner than I actually did. But, Lyndsay Soprano (04:11) Right. Chris Wasko (04:13) you know, when you're in any sort of cycle of abuse, it's your version of normal. And I don't want to say goodbye to my parents or my siblings. But yeah, I mean, I am a middle child of you I have an older sister, a younger brother, and I absolutely was the scapegoat problem child black sheep. Of the family. my brother was the golden child. And my parents are on two sides of what I consider the narcissism spectrum. My dad is an overt narcissist. My mother is a covert narcissist. And while not trying to villainize them, you know, because narcissism is a generational pattern and they learned conditional love. They parented with unconditional love as well as. With a lot of fear, a lot of physical violence and a lot of emotional abuse. The worst things that have ever been said to me in my life have been said by my own parents. And not just once, but many a time. So, you know, growing up in that, I was raised to believe I was the problem and felt that way. So I had a lot of self-hatred. By the time I was, I'd say 11 or 12 years old, I used to pray to God to take me. I didn't want to be here anymore. I felt like such a burden to my family. And while I wouldn't say I was full on suicidal, I absolutely didn't want to be on this planet anymore. Ultimately, I started to wake up to narcissism when I became a mother and recognized the aspect of it being a generational pattern because I was noticing in myself some of the things that were making me a crappy parent. because I was doing things my parents did. And we get tunnel vision. Because we say, I'm not gonna do this, because it's like the one thing we say we're not gonna do because it's happened to us. So for me, because I was hit so much, I was like, I'm not gonna hit my kids. And while I stuck to that, I didn't recognize there were other aspects I needed to work on too. That's where I started to really dive into narcissism. And along these lines, my father had hit my first child when he was only two years old. That should have been my I'm done amount. Right. Yeah. Lyndsay Soprano (06:34) Was no fucking more. Chris Wasko (06:36) That should have been it. And I'm still, I think, in ways forgiving myself for that. But at that time, my dad actually apologized to me. And if you know narcissists, you know they don't apologize. So this was the first time in my life I my father's apologizing to me. I didn't even know what to do with that. So I held on to this idea of hope that he's gonna work to do better and to be better. Wrong. But at the time, you know, I don't. I wasn't ready to separate from my parents. I didn't want to. I was really hopeful that they would be better. And while we absolutely never would let any of our kids alone with my parents ever again, eventually, it was about another eight years, my dad threatened my husband. And I said, That's it. I'm done. That was my final no. And and in that there's always so much. There's a cycle, right? And I was part of the cycle. So it was my I had to step out. And my stepping out meant what should feel like freedom, like, I'm I'm out, I'm safe. No, I was terrified because my nervous system was hardwired to be hyper-vigilant and to look over my shoulder. What are they gonna do to me? How are they gonna try and hurt me? So I had to really work on that. And the more I worked on that, and it took a couple of years, but calming my nervous system, getting to a place of feeling like I was safe. What I didn't recognize is it was all my trauma muted all of my psychic and mediumship abilities. So the more I healed, the more these abilities were coming online. So imagine my shock when I started seeing dead people. Cause that was kind of the first like, whoa, what's going on here? And really was teaching me that I was a very different person when I was allowed to be who I truly am. Lyndsay Soprano (08:23) That's amazing. You know, you said something to me on our meet and greet. You said when you've been raised by abuse, you become hardwired to expect it. And I think that that that line just struck me so hard because I totally expect unsafe things to happen to me. So I'm constantly prepping to expect something shitty to happen to me when it it's such a like this, like you said, this is cycle. This out of control feeling, that's why I'm such a control freak because I'm so worried about something unsafe happening to me, some kind of abuse, some kind of narcissism, some kind of all of it all intertwined, being left, being abandoned, all of those things that stem from such a very young age, they are hardwired in this little BH over here, you know? And I'm trying to unplug from these and get rid of these wires and strip them clean, you know? And it is a Journey. Yes. It Chris Wasko (09:23) Very Lyndsay Soprano (09:23) is not an easy one. And when we spoke, and I was raised by a narcissist, and I did not realize that I was until fairly recently. And then when we spoke, on our meet and greet, you were talking about what you mentioned earlier, covert versus overt. Can you explain the difference for those? I know the word people understand what those two words mean, but can you explain that? Because the covert narcissism is exactly who my mother has been. Chris Wasko (09:51) Yes, the covert narcissists, I I essentially call the biggest mind fuck of all of them because they're quiet. They're like this slow drip method of messing with your mind, messing with your emotions, control, manipulation. You know, my mother was the master of the silent treatment. So that was her way of controlling her children, especially myself and my sister. She never did that to my brother. But if she didn't like something we did, she would not talk to us. And I well into my adulthood, when I moved to California, she didn't talk to me for two weeks. She actually told me, Well, you're taking my grandchildren away and I don't want to talk to you right now. And literally wouldn't answer the phone, wouldn't speak to me until I called her in tears apologizing for for, you know, living my life and being a grown up. But how many times I had called her to apologize for things that she did more often than not. But you know, th that's a method of covert narcissism. So it is a more subtle type of narcissism. Overt is what we generally understand as the textbook definition of narcissism, because they're more grandiose in your face, egotistical. They're easier to spot. They're very obvious in many ways. And even if they weren't necessarily diagnosable as having narcissistic personality disorder, even having strong narcissistic tendencies. The ones that stand out more are leaning on that side of the spectrum because they're also borderline sociopaths because they're kind of emotionless when it comes to how they affect other people. that was my father. you know, he didn't care things he said. He said the horrible things said to the point where I would say, I wish he would just hit me instead of say some of the things he said to me. And this was a man who hit me rather frequently. So for me to welcome that over some of the things he would say. yeah, it was yeah, I it made me well versed in narcissism. And hence why I am a self-proclaimed expert, because there's nothing I have not experienced in terms of narcissism, narcissistic abuse. What led me into my work with old souls is I was first doing this work where I was working with people that had dealt with narcissistic abuse. But what I started to realize every time I was working with someone that dealt with narcissistic abuse. They were either an old soul or they were raising an old soul. And then on the flip side, if I was dealing working with someone that identified as an old soul, there was a narcissist somewhere in their life and more often than not in their family line. So I noticed that connection on a, let's call it soul level lessons. Lyndsay Soprano (12:35) love the old soul part. Like e even down to the point I 100% believe that I am an old soul. Without a shadow of a doubt, I know this. Like yes. I've always known it. Even when I was little, I I understood things that I probably shouldn't have at the young age of nine years old. There are things that I I could see things. I'm I'm not in an intuitive medium by any sh by any stretch of imagination, but I definitely know that I've chosen to come back for specific reasons. And so I'd like for you to get into this old soul stuff because this is what you really work on. You've written a book about it, which is absolutely beautiful, by the way. And I mean just the illustrations alone make my I just got the chills. That's such a beautiful book, honey. so I want to talk into what you do and what the old soul is and we the the spicy old soul test, which I took. So let's get into that. Chris Wasko (13:29) Yes, I I've been gravitating to old souls pretty much my entire life. Like you, I've known for a very long time. I'm an old soul. I've always connected to that. And I feel like a guide for old souls because I old souls don't often want help. We're not very good at asking for it. I Lyndsay Soprano (13:50) What's that word? Chris Wasko (13:52) would never call myself like a coach. Like I serve as a guide. I'm here to guide and That is a lot of why spicy old souls came to be. For one, the acronym is SOS, because old souls need help, but they do not like to ask for it. And the test kind of puts you in this understanding of where your vibration is currently. And I developed a program around that to help you work with the soul elements as well as the human elements to help you heal, because so many of us require healing. on a human level, vibrationally. I you know, I work a lot with chakras. You know, a lot of when people come to me for one-on-ones, I'm doing energy readings and healings and I'm reading their seven main chakras. And I'm essentially climbing in on a psychic level and finding the trauma energy more often than not. And I'm finding the good stuff too. I don't just look for the bad, but I'm I'm finding the story that the body wants to share. I really have felt so connected to helping old souls heal because we're meant to do so much more in this lifetime and and many more, because there's also a ripple effect. Whatever we heal sends ripples into all of our lifetimes, forward and back, as well as in our family line. So we are creating this healing ripple through so much of ourselves and our family members. And many of us know this. This is why so many of us are doing something that is helping humanity in some way. We're called to it. And I'm just helping in terms of the vibrational energy within the body to help you feel stronger, to help you feel more aligned, to put you on that healing path as best as possible. And just, you know, help you live the best life you can because it shouldn't be as hard as it is. you know, Earth is hard. It's a very dense planet. And we are very sensitive to it as old souls. It really disrupts us in a lot of ways. But we also choose to be here because we know we can create change. We know it. We just feel it. Lyndsay Soprano (16:04) Well, I love that wholeheartedly because of this show, Honest to God, like Giving Pain Purpose, which we just rebranded from It's Been the Pain Game podcast for four seasons of my life, which is almost five years. And I was given this horrific pain disease that's actually unfortunately starting to become more prevalent in women. which actually is kind of like I have a love-hate relationship with it, because it means if more of us have it, then more energy is gonna go into try fixing it. But I don't believe that there's any fix for it outside of actually healing the trauma wounds that are within us because I believe this is trauma. I don't believe this can be helped with a pill. I don't believe it can be done with a spinal cord stimulator put in my body. I don't believe that it's gonna be with a bunch of pills because none of that has fucking worked. And it's not working for all the other people that I know that have CRPS, but their trauma stories are intense. And I totally believe that each one of these women that I am friends with, that I have become friends with. When being diagnosed with this, are absolutely old souls, one in particular. And she's been on my show a couple of times and she's just the best. But we have to hold each other up because we are, like you said earlier, this old soul part of me is like, okay, like I've I can't do this much longer, but I've got to get as much work done as I possibly can because I don't know how long, how long I'm going to be able to do it. And that's like a scary thought, suicidal ideation and any of that scares anybody to hear it. And anybody to outright talk about it openly. And it took me a long time to be able to say, yes, I've thought about suicide. Like those words are very scary to people. It's not scary to me as much as it used to be because I've found that I'm not the only one that feels this way. So what do you say about that? And how how does all of this, how does this all mess with our nervous system, honestly? Because I know this is my nervous system just screaming at me all day long. Chris Wasko (17:57) Well, for one, I appreciate you sharing this so honestly and vulnerably because especially as an old soul, many of us get to that aspect and for different reasons. but to be able to sh say that and to share that helps others to know they're not alone in that. And, you know, it it has helped me so much, I know, to hear that. especially when we get to that place of feeling like there's no hope because that's really where we're at. But when it comes to especially pain, only an old soul could handle intense pain. Young souls, it would kill them. And we know that. So the ones that are when you say that all of these women that you have formed essentially a sisterhood with in this, they have to be old souls or else they wouldn't make it. and a lot of it is because of what it It leads you to that place of not wanting to be here and you are contemplating suicide and you are saying, I can't, I don't know how much longer I can do this. It is absolutely something on a soul contract as a possibility. So when, you know, we have free will, right? And when people talk about suicide being on a soul contract, that the act that makes no sense, right? So I'd like to go into this a little if you're okay. Lyndsay Soprano (19:22) With that. Chris Wasko (19:23) Because so many people go this so it is, you know, yeah, trigger warning suicide, right? Lyndsay Soprano (19:28) We put trigger warnings in the beginning of every episode. Trigger, trigger. Yeah. Chris Wasko (19:31) Wanna go there because trigger got it enough where I'm a little numb to it in in ways, but I think because I'm comfortable now. And it's it's a safe topic for me now. But I know this isn't safe for everybody. So I want people to feel as comfortable as they can in this kind of conversation. But when it comes to being on a soul contract, what I understand in my experience and my work in is that it not everybody has that on a soul contract. And it's not it's only there as a possibility. And the reason it's there is because you would have done it in a previous lifetime. And anytime a soul does that, it it creates a very strong challenge for the soul because that is not the best exit on a soul level. And, you know, going into this a little more is, you know, the first thing that you tend to experience on the other side of that, what we expect is relief. And it's usually, no. That's usually the first thing. It's the no, like what did I do? What happened? It's it's confusion. It's it's not positive. It's not the relief we think we're gonna get. so that for me was a very important thing to understand as far as that is concerned. You're usually meted by greeted, excuse me, by your spirit guides. you have the option to. receive them or not. Not everybody does. but they they're patient. You know, there's there's not a time aspect anymore. Time is an earth plane aspect. That you're essentially shown your paths because we have so many paths based on our choices. So you're shown all these other possibilities that could have happened, all these other things you could have done. So it's almost like a form of therapy. And that that part's pretty challenging, but it's not nearly as challenging as when you're shown the next part. of all the people that are missing you. And you feel that and you watch it. And it's really challenging. And then as if that's not bad enough. Lyndsay Soprano (21:39) But wait, there's more. Chris Wasko (21:40) Have to come back and do it again. And then it's harder. That it's harder. So that's why it will be on a soul contract as a possibility. It kind of hovers. So anyone who has ever contemplated it in a lifetime, it is very highly likely you've done it in another life. And this is your soul kind of challenging you. You gonna take that out again or are you gonna work through it? Lyndsay Soprano (22:03) Holy shit. Chris Wasko (22:04) It's it's really a lot to take. So this is again my understanding of it. Other psychics, mediums, they might have different understandings. I re I respect where everyone is at on their path. So please take take what resonates, leave what doesn't, is how I always like to just kind of tell these tell anyone anything. But because this is a thing, I really want people to understand that what we expect. is not what's on the other side. And the expectation is relief. It's not, that's not what it is. I it would be wonderful. And especially with pain, because with pain, we feel so consuming, so consumed by it. you know, at one time, you know, I I broke my back and pelvis. I had had a skiing accident. So I definitely went through a period of time of consuming pain where I it felt like it could never be better. I wasn't able to walk well. I wasn't able to sit. I I could barely get in and out of bed by myself. I was losing control of my bladder. It was just, you know, it was overwhelming. And you just get to that point of hopelessness of like, you know, if I die, it has to be better than this. Usually Lyndsay Soprano (23:15) Right. Absolutely. Chris Wasko (23:17) where we go with pain. Lyndsay Soprano (23:19) Yeah, for sure. And and that's the CRPS, which is what I have, chronic regional pain syndrome, is called the suicide disease. So without even having it for a minute, they're like, don't Google it. Yeah. And I'm like, well, of course we're gonna go to the Google machine. And it is legitimately the suicide disease because so many people kill themselves because the pain is just that high. They have said that on the McGill's pain scale it's higher than natural childbirth. And so one of the things I like to say is I'm just walking around having babies all fucking day. Like, what? That is intense. And last night it was like I was getting ready for bed and I have to do a whole shutdown procedure, which is like 82 different types of creams and rubs and this and that and meditation and music and writing and journaling and all these things that I'm trying to do. And my feet and my legs felt like somebody had poured acid all over them. And I'm like I'm not gonna make it through the night. Chris Wasko (24:15) Uh-huh. Lyndsay Soprano (24:15) And that was last night. It's tough, man. Chris Wasko (24:21) It is hard. It's hard. It's hard. Like I said, consuming. Consuming become consumed in it and it's overwhelming. And I I appreciate your gosh, everything about you for one, 'cause you're an amazing soul, but especially your ability to still show up because it's not easy. Lyndsay Soprano (24:40) is not easy, especially when you have technical challenges on top of it. Her and I were having poppin' issues before we got on this thing today. Chris Wasko (24:50) and trauma makes you funny, that's for sure. Like Lyndsay Soprano (24:52) My well, I kinda have to be. And my husband's the same way. He has different trauma than I have. but definitely I Chris Wasko (24:59) It's all funny in some way. Lyndsay Soprano (25:01) mean, and it's laugh or crying waved. Yeah, exactly. And laughing through the tears and crying through the laughter. I mean, it's just it's something that I've developed from a very young age and rebellion came out of some of this, you know, my health issues, some of which I know are behavior based. I know from when I was just like Totally slutty in college, right? There are certain things that happened to my body that I know probably wouldn't be causing some of the things that are happening in my body now. But how do I know? I don't really know. It's it's just like a crapshoot. You're trying to figure out. We're all on this mission to get out of pain, whatever that pain looks like to you, whatever the definition of pain is to you. It's like when they you're in the hospital and they're like, which happy face are you? Are you this one or are you the sad face? You're like, Everybody's sad face is different than the next person's sad face. So it's all relative. It doesn't tell the nurse to give you more medicine or less medicine. It doesn't. It's stupid No. Tell me how you really feel, Lindsay. Chris Wasko (25:59) Yeah, no, it's subjective. It's you know it's not a good scale. Yeah. Lyndsay Soprano (26:04) So how do you work with us, the old souls wise? Like what you've got your you've got the little tests that you do, and I don't say little to minimize them, but they are they're short, they're sweet, they get to the point, and they give you, they pump out a little bit of a report for you that tell you what you're like. And can you talk to us a little bit about what that is, how you came up with it, and how that helps us? Chris Wasko (26:25) Yeah, of course. So I I was able to develop a scale. And it's I'll call them like different spice levels. Yeah. And you don't always land at the same point on the scale because we vibrate differently all the time. So and because we're old souls, we're always shifting, we're always changing, we're always evolving. But the anyone could do this as a human. It's you don't just have to be an old soul. So Really when you you land on that that you know, I love that you brought up the short and sweet aspect because old souls definitely want that short and sweet. Like waste my time. Let's Lyndsay Soprano (27:01) Getting. Chris Wasko (27:03) go. What's next? Right. Yeah. so you get that that write up, so to speak, of here's here's where you're at right now, here is where you are vibrating at. And then, you know, some people will meet with me on it, other people will just go into the course of starting to work with their energy because It's really about understanding your energy so that you can heal it. And the more we heal, the more we shift and change and keep evolving and shifting and changing. So I really like to help calm the trauma energy, so to speak, because any kind of energy reveals itself in layers and trauma energy is one of those. So when I'm, for example, looking into people's chakras, I'm not going to see Every single thing all at once. It's gonna be what the body wants to reveal itself first because those outer layers are always the one that's kind of waving, like, hey, I'm ready to be seen. The lower, deeper inside layers are they take more time and sometimes they shed on their own as you have already released and uncovered other layers. So it really depends on the person. I've I've worked with people in some cases for months. two years depending on where they're at. The ones that are usually in the year mark have dealt with very intense trauma like sexual abuse. So it's not a quick fix depending on the severity of trauma. But like I said, not all a lot of old souls don't want help. So not everyone wants to do a one-on-one, hence the evolution of the program. You know, any person that has worked with me, especially for long periods of time, they at the end of our time together or even like not even at the end, but they're they're not the same. And they are always more intuitive and psychic. I've had which has led me to teaching like spiritual development, psychic mediumship type classes, because I had a lot of clients that were coming on board as I was because their trauma levels were now dropping. It wasn't as dramatic anymore. And now their nervous system was open to spirit instead of being open to survival. So it's a lot of that too. Lyndsay Soprano (29:17) Love that quote. Say it again. Chris Wasko (29:21) It's about getting the nervous system open to spirit a and not being open to survival anymore. Lyndsay Soprano (29:26) Yeah, because that it is exactly what I do in the morning. I wake up and I do this thing that Mel Robbins is teaching everybody all across the world that I do this five, four, three, two, one thing and I have to then put my feet on the floor. And it's like the worst moment of my day. Next to when I have to go to bed. So it's like waking up is like, fuck me, and going to bed is like, fuck me. I made it through the whole day though, and now I have to make it through the night. And you're like, How is this gonna go tonight? And last night was a tough night, right? I made it through. So I woke up and I did my five, four, three, two, one, and I started again. And it's just something that I've had to like teach myself to survive. So back to the old soul type and you working with us. So so I took the test and I am the wayfinder. Can you explain this about what the wayfinder is? Chris Wasko (30:22) Well, I'm gonna be a little funny on this, or at least it makes me k chuckle. But if anyone has seen the movie Moana and we think of like Moana becoming a wayfinder and with Maui, right, that's what a lot of people think of. But it very much is an explorer energy. It is someone that cannot be told what to do, how to do it. It is someone that is going to learn very organically, but it they they're gonna do it in an exploratory process. Not in a a schoolroom or or any room for that matter. They'll do much better outside than indoors. outdoors are actually going to be very healing for them too. they're gonna connect very much to the elements. So they're gonna have some possible past lives of like witchy wizard kind of stuff, alchemist kind of healing modalities. So there, you know, there's a a range on the type of wayfinder. So it It could be on the simpler end of someone that just really needs to be outside and really likes to travel and they have that kind of exploratory aspect to them. And then on another deeper level, there's like it's going to lead them to this really deep aspect of discovery for themselves, for others. so you can't keep a wayfinder in a box. You can't keep an old soul in a box, but gosh, definitely not a wayfinder because they need to learn. They Curiosity is their biggest friend because they're just gonna follow that and then explore it. They're definitely good to go to, like, hey, I need to I'm going on a blind date. Can you find this person for me? A week finder, I'll get everything. Lyndsay Soprano (32:02) My little FBI agent, I would exactly Chris Wasko (32:05) So so yeah, it's just they're they're really fun. that they they could also have a little bit of like a gypsy element to them. So that means they can't be in the same place regularly and they like to change things up in that regard. and they could also come across as flaky because of that. but I say that so lightly because old souls are not really flaky. We're not that's not a tendency. Yeah. It's more of they get very hyper focused on what they're working on or what they're doing that they don't have time for other people or things at the moment. So it's more about that. So flakiness, I like I say, I use that so loosely because it's not an old soul term. I actually want to like throw that out the window. But you know, if anyone knows someone with gypsy energy. They know that they will be so amazing and so present and then they disappear for months. You're like, what happened to them? And like, gypsy energy. Lyndsay Soprano (33:02) Interesting. Because I've moved a lot and not because of a husband being in the military. I have moved more times than anybody should possibly move, not being in the military. and I do get a little antsy, like I've been in the same area right now for enough time that I'm starting to go, I kind of feel like I need to be moving again. A lot of the things that you were saying, if not almost everything about it, totally lands for me. I definitely and even d doing this show represents all of that because with each person that I talk to, I am learning so much and I research so much before I speak with you people, you people. Before I speak with you people, but I read your books, I I listen to your podcasts, I do the work before I bring you on so that you're given the best space that I can hold for you and your message and your story and and what you've been through. And it's So important for me and also for my audience to know that that's what goes on. I don't just pop on and I'm like, hey girl, what's going on? You know, it's like, ew. Chris Wasko (34:09) You are amazing in that. And I could tell you, I've been on a decent number of podcasts at this point. I've never had someone so prepared on like an initial meeting. Like you knew you you had taken my quiz already, you knew about my book. You like I was like, whoa. yeah. This feels amazing. So yeah, I could definitely speak to I I I could speak to that that you are absolutely so prepared and so invested in who you connect with and it's it's just who you are. It makes you so real and authentic. And that's why people connect with you and they walk away thinking, like, this girl is amazing. I'm so glad I met her. I a after you and I met, I I told my husband, I was like, I absolutely love this girl. She's awesome. Lyndsay Soprano (34:48) my God, I love hearing that. And thank you. I'm a little my cheeks are a little red. I'm blushing. So let's really quick, let's talk a little bit about the nervous system and the central nervous system and why we are also fired up and how your work helps to regulate our nervous system and why that works. Because I know that there are times where I've tried methods that absolutely have worked to calm me down. Cause I'm wired high strung as it is, no matter what. I've been like that since I was a little little lady. so if you can talk to us a little bit about that, because the nervous system is such an incredibly important aspect of everything we're talking about on the show. Chris Wasko (35:26) Yeah, absolutely. the nervous system is like I said earlier, we're just hardwired to connect with what is our version of normal from an emotional standpoint, from a trauma standpoint. Because, you know, my work, I, you know, old souls trauma, narcissistic abuse trauma, right? That so that's all how we have learned to respond in as children because we had to adapt. A child's job is to survive. So we develop adaptations. And it doesn't matter whether it's traumatic or not. You're developing adaptations for the littlest things, starting from you like when your mother smiles. So your body learns what makes that happen. You, you know, you like when the dog licks your face. You learn what makes that happen. It's not always, you know, something awful. But if you're raised in an environment where love is conditional, you become trained for that. So that's part of that hardware of the nervous system. So if you're also raised in an environment where you were able to anticipate behaviors, that is because you were bracing. And now your nervous system is hardwired to be bracing. So it's constantly activated. You're in fight, flight. You're doing that from essentially ages zero to 10-ish. A little more give or take. But for an old soul, you're pretty much more grounded in your energy by the time you're like seven or eight. And that's also along the time when a child's brain waves are starting to shift, getting out of the constant alpha more into the beta. that doesn't become full beta yet, but for an old soul, they're more likely. That's why old souls are so mature also for their ages, because they're just so emotionally connected at a much younger age. And so Now you've adapted and now you go through the teenage years. And those are that's probably one of the most difficult time periods for an old soul because now you have all these adaptations, but as an old soul, you are now fighting against what's natural to you. So let's just say you as a wayfinder that you have connected to energetically. We're connecting to your wayfinder energy as a child. So let's just say you weren't able to do your wayfinder kind of things. I'll just leave that very broad for now. So now, because of that, as a teenager, you'll become more combative because you have this adaptation style that's fighting your natural nature. This is how the nervous system is now having this inner conflict because by the teenage years, you're in this fight of the adaptation versus who you really are. And then you become What is often a shell of your true self. Lyndsay Soprano (38:16) I I identify with well everything that we've been talking about today. It's so it's so fascinating and so interesting to me because I've like I said, I've always when you were just speaking about how we are we're a little bit more mature, we kid when at a younger age, I was hanging out with like my parents and my parents' friends drinking wine at like nine, 10, 11 years old. Like it was just like it was natural. I was an only child and so With that, it was like, and on top of it, I was an insomniac. So I was up all night long and I developed OCD tendencies and tendencies is downplaying it a little bit. you know, everything had its space because at three o'clock in the morning, my dad would come down the hallway and here I am pulling my desk from one side of the room to the next and totally rearranging my living space. And he would let me paint my walls and paint my ceilings and do what I wanted to, and then would come in like that movie with Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler where it's like thirty first dates or something. Yeah. Where every morning the the dad and the brother would paint the wall again. That's kind of how it felt where I had to start over again because I didn't know what else to do with myself all night long. And so that's that that is still wired within me to be that way. And I'm most productive overall when it's dark and it's quiet and it's the nighttime because that's what I was like, I trained myself to be. Chris Wasko (39:34) Yeah. Well, and because again I'm connected to your energy when you know, the first thing I want to ask you, especially when you think of yourself in that time when you're painting in your room and you're having that, what about it felt safe? Because there's a safety in that free. Lyndsay Soprano (39:50) Yeah. guess probably because I was I was able to express myself however I I needed to express myself between those four walls and a floor and a ceiling. And I was told that this was my space and I could be who I wanted to be within it. But outside of this room, don't you dare start painting in the hallway. And so that I that's probably what what I got out of it. It's certainly what I get out of controlling and cleaning and organizing now, but that's the entire home. And so Every space. Like I know if my housekeeper dusted something or if she didn't, because I'm like, I don't think so, honey. That is in the exact same space, or it was moved, and so I know that it was actually dusted because there's no way they would get it exactly right. And so yesterday my housekeeper was here, and what did I do this morning? I went around and put everything back in order the way that I wanted. Chris Wasko (40:49) Recognized in that space that's safe, you almost had your own chaos. And the chaos that you create is safe. But outside of that, the world has chaos and that's not safe. Lyndsay Soprano (41:00) One hundred percent. Chris Wasko (41:01) Hm. So it creates a conflict within your energetic body because your body is seeking safety. Lyndsay Soprano (41:09) I know I'm seeking safety. That is one I I this what one of the first things I always say is I have safety issues. I do. I should with some of the things that have happened to me. Well, you have a book and it is called An Old Soul's Journey. And I'd like to read something really quick to the audience. Yeah. Dear old soul, whether you discovered or were gifted this book, it was meant to find you. The journey of an old soul is unique and filled with challenges. These challenges will lead you to understand and learn more about yourself and your soul. Your life experiences may overwhelm you at times. This book serves as a reminder that you are not alone, you are supported, and you are loved. While designed as a children's book, this book is not only for children, but it is also for the child within you. Thank you for being you and for being here. You matter, and I am grateful to you for allowing me to be part but a small part of your journey. From my soul to yours, I send you love, Chris. Chris Wasko (42:10) that's Lyndsay Soprano (42:09) That's how she opens it. Chris Wasko (42:10) a lot to take in. Not used to hearing my own words back at me. Lyndsay Soprano (42:16) Right? Yeah. And it is a beautiful book. And I read it again last night because it's a children's book. So it's not like this big deep heavy, but it kind of is deep heavy. And the illustrations are beautiful. I think they look like you. Chris Wasko (42:32) Yeah. Lyndsay Soprano (42:34) A little bit. And I'm just really blessed that I've met you and was able to find you and find you for these people that are listening right now, too. These people, I keep going. You these people, these wonderful people. I'm Chris Wasko (42:49) Yeah. Lyndsay Soprano (42:49) listening today because, like you said, I've met a lot of beautiful people on this journey who have shown me what unconditional love looks like and feels like. And I absolutely feel safe with you and being able to talk with you and share you to these people. and I am just so blessed to have you on the show. So thank you so much for your time today. Chris Wasko (43:10) Thank you for you and thank you for having me. And this has been a beautiful experience. I I know we're not done and I'm just really grateful we connected. Lyndsay Soprano (43:18) Absolutely, me too. you can find Chris at chriswasco.com. It's C H R I S W A S K O dot com. She's on Facebook, actually, a huge following on Facebook. So take a look at her Facebook. She is Chris Wasco Medium. So same spelling, C-H-R-I-S-W-A-S-K-O Medium. And then her book, An Old Soul's Journey, you can pick it up on Amazon. You can get it on your Kindle. However, you want to do the thing. Do the thing. And thank you again so much for being here. We'll have all this in our social and our email marketing as well. It's just been absolutely a beautiful journey with you today. So thank you. Chris Wasko (43:55) Thank you. Lyndsay Soprano (43:55) You are exclusively invited to share this healing ripple effect, this VIP pain journey together. Let's get to the heart of how to heal with you by my and Chris's side. Please follow Giving Pain Purpose wherever you digest your podcast content. We will be there. Visit us at giving painpurpose.com and follow us on all the socials. Thanks for listening, my little VIPs. Catch you on the other side.