Latest / The Spiritual Shitshow Podcast / Holding Faith When Nothing Moves

Transcript

Holding Faith When Nothing Moves · The Spiritual Shitshow Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the Spiritual Shit Show.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Julie Wynne.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: And okay, let's get honest.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: Today I need this episode probably just as much as you do, if not more.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because this season of life, it's the grind.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's continuing to show up.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's continuing to trust.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's the part where you're doing the work, showing up, creating, healing, stretching.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: And then you have to wait, and the outcome still hasn't revealed itself yet.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: And it sucks and it's not fun.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: This is the part that no one glamorizes.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: This is the part where self-doubt gets loud as fuck.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: And this is the part where your brain starts whispering: is any of this even working?
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Am I delusional?
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Am I crazy?
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Should I quit?
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's important.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Is it important?
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: What the fuck am I doing?
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: And this could just be my solo journey.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: But if you are on it as well, thanks.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the club.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: And know that I am right here with you.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: There's this phase that I'm understanding that no one talks about.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: And it's this space in the middle.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's not the collapse, been there, done that.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's not the breakthrough, still waiting for that.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's this middle, the waiting room for your becoming.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: I woke up this morning.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I would love to get out of this loop.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I would love now for big blooms to start happening in my life.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: I am right there in that space where I've left the old identity.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: I've healed a lot of stuff, but this new reality hasn't fully caught up yet.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: And as I anchor in, I'm realizing it's where faith is needed.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's where energetic resilience is actually built.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because anyone can believe in themselves when things are working, but believing when nothing is happening, that's where the muscles get made.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: And damn, I'm strong.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: I am so strong.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: I've been waiting.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: Come on.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: So this is where I'm at.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's the self-doubt part.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: And self-doubt isn't proof that you're failing.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: Self-doubt is proof you're expanding.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: And when you're building a new reality, your nervous system's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: What's happening?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: We're not used to this.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have a file for this.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: Did you listen to the previous podcast about updating the files?
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I am sitting here with the doubt.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: Not because I'm wrong and not because I'm not putting in the work, but I don't know, maybe it's because the body doesn't have a blueprint yet for the life that I'm creating.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why this part is really uncomfortable.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Because we, if you're in this with me, are literally updating the energetic system while waiting with capital T trust.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: I am being reminded that I have to stay energetically aligned.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to take the bullshit out of that statement as well, because energetic alignment does not mean being positive 24-7, pretending everything is fine, forcing high vibes, and gaslighting yourself into a smile.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: And let me tell you, when you are around people who you know that that's not how they're feeling, but they're playing the part of positivity, for me, it's a little off-putting because I it doesn't feel safe.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: But everybody gets up the mountain the way they get up the mountain.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: That is totally fine.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: But I I personally am somebody, I just appreciate when people can say, I don't have it figured out.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm working through this.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: This is what's coming up with me.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm feeling a little raw about things right now, versus it's fine.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: Everything's great.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's not that bad.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: I because you can just sense it.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: You can just sense, you can just sense that it's not real.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't like to be lied to.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: So there's that, baby.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: Getting back to it.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: Energetic alignment.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: So what is it?
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: It is staying connected to the truth of who you are, remembering your intention, returning to your body again and again and again.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's not abandoning yourself because the timeline is slow.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: And it's holding your frequency even when your reality hasn't caught up.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: Alignment is not perfection, it's returning.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I think this is where a lot of compassion comes in.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where the work is, really, is your ability to return to yourself compassionately, lovingly, compassionately, lovingly, over and over and over and over again.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's returning to yourself, returning to your vision, returning to your power, returning to your body, even when you feel shaky.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like today, I feel really off.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's why I'm recording this because I need this reminder.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are in the spiritual shit show wobble, this is the reminder that it's part of the path.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: And you are not doing it wrong because it feels hard.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: You are doing it right.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: This is exactly what expansion feels like.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's the nervous system stretching, it's the timeline organizing, it's the quantum field rearranging, it's the old identity dying, it's the new identity.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: Come on, baby, I'm calling you in.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: Landing.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, it's uncomfortable.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, you're gonna need your people to support you and remind you who you are when you're starting to lose a little faith.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: And being uncomfortable does not mean that you are out of alignment.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: It means you're crossing the threshold.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Gosh, I'm reminding myself how strong I am.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: So, what are we gonna do?
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: I am recording this podcast to remind myself how important it is to keep showing up even when I am in serious doubt.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: I am going to continue to anchor in to the gifts and to the joy and to what I love and what makes me feel alive.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, sometimes I question it if I'm crazy.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I love this.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: Why isn't this working?
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: I feel so lit up by this.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: Does every does anybody else question mark, question mark, question mark?
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm reminded that outcome is not in future, that sensation and joy can be anchored now.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: That sensation and feeling and emotion and an ability to sit still for a moment, to connect is what brings you back into your power.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: I am being reminded to take aligned action every day, and that the universe rewards momentum.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: I am gonna remind myself of the affirmations that I am becoming, I am grounding, I am learning.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, the past couple days, I've been doing so much work on myself that the past couple days I'm like, whoa, you know, I'm really realizing I don't know what it's like to feel safe in my body.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how it feels to not be like so riddled with anxiety.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what it's like to be present and happy.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: I always have to be doing something or thinking about something or pushing myself to become something.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so I know that this slower pace, that the universe knows exactly what it's doing.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I just stubbornly don't listen to the guides when the guides tell me you are being prepared for the powerful future that you're gonna step into.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: But you have to do this first.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: You have to learn how to be in your strength.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: You have to learn how to always anchor into your strength.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: And we can't push through this.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, you're not gonna be ready when the time comes for you to be in your great, great, great, great greatness.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: So that's also a reminder, too, is that remembrance that the universe knows exactly what it's doing.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes these slower-paced lessons like learning how to integrate, learning how to connect into your strength, learning how to listen, learning how to surrender, all can be annoying because we want it fast and we want it now.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: So as I'm speaking, I'm also reminding myself that just, just, just, just, just be here now.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: And in the anchoring into the present moment is where the remembrance happens.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm being reminded to celebrate the wins.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like, did I show up?
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: Did I follow my intuition?
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: Am I, even if it's begrudgingly, listening to the guidance that I connect into every single day?
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, it's you're learning how to tap into your strength.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: Stay still.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: Do nothing.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: Be happy.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's the reminder that the real manifestations happen when you are in alignment with your soul blueprint.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: When you're graciously learning these soul lessons, whether it's self-love or strength or overcoming self-doubt.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are right next to me in these feelings, I'm going to remind us that we are not waiting for our life to begin, that our life is just waiting for us to keep going and to do so with joy and happiness and authenticity.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: You are not stuck.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: You're strengthening, you're not lost, you're integrating.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: Your dream is not late, it's right on time.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: But your nervous system has to become the version of you so you can hold it.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's really true for me.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: I am really anchoring into healing this nervous system so I can hold this high version of myself later.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: I am being reminded, and I want to remind you that every time we show up, every time we just keep going, every time we breathe through doubt or insecurities that we are becoming it matters.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: You are becoming, and you are fucking unstoppable.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I am fucking unstoppable.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: So here we are.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: We're in the messy middle, the waiting room, the grind, the becoming, the trust, the learning, the patience.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: If you are there, you're not alone.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, I'm right here with you.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: And we're walking this timeline together, and we're talking it out, and we're supporting each other while we do it.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: One breath at a time.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: The reminder that you are aligned, you are becoming, you are right where you need to be.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: And have just a little bit more faith in the universe.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: That the universe is also giving you or taking away or postponing all the things that you may be wanting now.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: But there's a higher order at play here, and so trusting that a higher, more brilliant working order is here.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: And all we have to do is keep going, keep centering, keep trusting, and keep communication with the universe.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: Are we ready yet?
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: Are we ready yet?
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: Are we ready yet?
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you so much for being here.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: That helped talk me through a little bit of self-doubt.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: So also the reminder that when you are having these things that you are like, oh gosh, that wave of self-doubt or that wave of insecurity or that wave of like, I what am I doing?
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: I want to quit.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have a friend that you can leave a voice memo to to talk it out?
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: I love being able to talk things out until I get to the other side instead of just feeling gross about it all.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: Usually, if I can talk it out, I yeah, I get that I get back in alignment with like, okay, okay, everything's working out.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's fine.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's fine, it's better than fine.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's magical.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm fucking unstoppable.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: And you're fucking unstoppable.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: I believe in you.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: I love you.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: And till next time.