Latest / Mindful Success Path / The Shadow Side of Feminine Energy: Healing Your Mother Wound for Love
Transcript
- 0:39You've done the manifestation rituals you've watched videos all about feminine energy you've changed how you speak to men and yet you still feel a pang of anxiety when a good man actually tries to provide for you Or maybe you keep attracting men who are emotional projects that you feel like you need to save If you feel like you're doing everything right on the outside but your internal blueprint is still stuck in survival mode this isn't just about having bad luck with relationships it's actually about healing the mother-daughter wound within you And we're gonna get a lot deeper into what that means and what it has to do with all the men that you are dating in this video cause we're gonna be talking about the shadow side of feminine energy and how to heal the root of it so you can start having different experiences with men Hi my name is Amanda Welcome to this channel where we talk about how to manifest what you want in life without all the extra stress chaos and drama that most people are accustomed to We teach women how to become the magnetic empresses of their lives so they can begin to attract everything that they desire instead of having to hustle and grind for it So if that's something that you're interested in make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell so you don't miss a single video that we have coming out on this channel And if you're new to the conversation of feminine energy or feminine healing or feminine embodiment then make sure to download our free Enhance Your Feminine Energy Guide It's a free guide that will walk you through how to bring more feminine energy into different areas of your life over the course of the next week or so based on my experience of having gone from a super hyper-independent perpetually single woman for 10 to 15 years who burned out blew out my adrenals had a bunch of thyroid problems and kept attracting a bunch of passive men to now being married to a protector provider masculine man having a business that brings in daily passive income through this YouTube channel having healed my hormones naturally and so much more and it all had to do with embracing feminine energy So you can grab that free guide below I'll also have a QR code here Make sure to grab it while it's still free I've had a lot of people including Justin my husband tell me I should probably start charging for this and I'm seriously considering it so make sure to grab it while I still have it available for free So let's get into it Let's get into healing this mother-daughter wound So the mother-daughter wound is something that every woman must go through on what is called the heroine's journey The heroine's journey is a a story of let's say psychological development of a woman It's how she goes from being a young girl to going into maturity So a lot of times what ends up happening is that obviously we are feminine essence We are born primarily uh feminine energy I have mentors who and I tend to agree with this who are like Women are just feminine energy right Um and what happens is that in order to survive in the world that we're in oftentimes what we do is we end up co-opting masculine energy in order to survive and oftentimes we end up over-identifying with that masculine energy which then causes a lot of problems So oftentimes these women might actually be very successful in their career and in their lives but then their relationships are a total mess That's a very common dynamic So what happens is that a part of coming back to wholeness as a woman and a big part of that is starting to reintegrate healthy feminine energy into your life and a part of that is healing the mother-daughter wound Now it might look like literally healing wounds in the lineage of women in your family like I had to do or it could just be figurative in terms of um healing the collective mother-daughter wound perhaps stories that have been passed down by women through society so on and so forth So that's what it means to heal the mother-daughter wound and it is a part of coming back to wholeness as a feminine woman So one of the things that you can do is you can actually look at your childhood right And you can look for what I call the legacy of the over-functioning woman So did you watch your mother be the pillar of the home but she was actually secretly exhausted and resentful Did you see a woman who did everything for everyone but had no one to catch her Well then you probably took on the legacy of the over-functioning woman Did you grow up in a household where everyone was in survival mode for one reason or another For example I come from an immigrant family My family fled communist Cuba to start over in the United States In addition to that when I looked at my own lineage of women I realized that for multiple reasons whether it was a communist revolution or becoming widowed or living in poverty uh that all all the women On both sides of my lineage at least three generations back were all living in survival mode and that you know by the time it got to me I was just repeating the pattern I would've been like the fourth generation at least that I know of of a woman who was living in survival mode And oftentimes if you grew up seeing a woman over-functioning in order to keep the peace or keep control that's another one Oftentimes it's not just about keeping the peace it's also about keeping control because of her own anxiety Then your nervous system likely learned that safety equals competence and you learned that in order to be loved you had to be useful or in order to be loved then you had to achieve Now this is one of the shadows of feminine energy and in your dating life this can actually show up as being the manager or the mother Because you can't just sit back and be the receptive magnetic empress sitting in your feminine energy while abundance and provision and healthy men just come to you Because in your body being receptive actually feels like being vulnerable to neglect or it feels like being vulnerable to some sort of disaster happening That's how it was for me where it feels uh vulnerable to uh perhaps putting yourself in a dangerous situation I know for me I'd been taught that men were basically useless if not in my own household because I actually have really great men um in my life My father my grandfathers they were wonderful But in society you know I was basically taught that you know men are useless than or dangerous Then I felt Well if I'm not in control then I'm putting myself in a very dangerous situation So that would show up like over-functioning and trying to control in my relationships because that was the only way that I knew how to feel safe and secure So oftentimes you're not hyper-independent by choice you're hyper-independent as a trauma response So now let's go into this mother-child dynamic which a lot of you have mentioned in the comments or from emails or when you've sent in your assignments for many of the courses that we have available Let's go into why some women end up mothering their boyfriends and husbands So um I recent My husband recently interviewed me on this YouTube channel about how to make money from more feminine energy and my husband and I have worked together and he's been the sole provider and we've had lots of different dynamics A few years ago uh he was helping me in the previous business that I had that I ended up letting go of and you can learn more about why I did that in uh the uh in that interview that I'm I did with my husband But one of the things that I noticed in my previous business I had a sales training company I was teaching women how to get really good at sales and make a lot of money Did it for seven to eight years And I started to notice all these crazy stories that would come up and I would start hearing crazy stories like Yeah you know I'm the one making all the money and I can't do X Y and Z for my business because I gotta go p pick up my kids by this time And we're like Well w you're married Where's your husband And they'd be like Oh well you know he was doing this degree but then he decided he didn't wanna do it and now he's like playing video games And we're like Wait so you're doing everything while that man is doing nothing is what you're is going on here And my husband and I would hear stories like this and we were both like utterly shocked And some of you in the comments said that you hear stories like that from women all the time and you too are also shocked because you're like How does a woman even let this happen Well she does let it happen a lot and it's usually a woman who wants control or a woman who learned that she had to over-function in order b to be loved and a woman who honestly does not feel safe being receptive And this is when we get into mothering our boyfriends or husbands We don't really do boyfriends here right This is when we get into mothering our husbands This is when we get into mothering our men which guess what also kills polarity in relationship It kills attraction in the relationship But the reason why a lot of women end up in this situation is because mothering to them is a position of power When you're the one who's fixing him saving him or giving him advice that he didn't ask for you are the one who stays in control You are in other words above him And this is exactly what I meant in my recent video where a lot of you found me I did a video where I said Before my provider husband showed up I stopped doing this And one of the things that I stopped doing was trying to control everything One of the things that I stopped doing was wearing hyper-independence like a badge of honor Well this is why Because I was in this um hyper-independent controlling kind of energy and what would that do It would attract passive men that I would feel like I had to mother or I had to wait for their potential to kick in And many of you are actually stuck there And this woman is actually In a lot of ways um this is gonna sound weird right But a lot of times this woman is actually terrified of a man who is actually her peer And the reason why I say that is because a peer would require you to be soft A peer would require you to um loosen your armor A peer would require you to take down your walls and probably the most terrifying thing to this woman would be that a peer would require you to let go of control And to a woman who's been taught that safety equals competence letting go of control is one of the scariest things we could possibly do I've oftentimes said on videos that when I learned to lean into more feminine energy one of the things I had to do was let go of control and it was utterly terrifying I thought I was like going to die or end up under a bridge or um end up being taken advantage of It was so scary for me to actually do that and a lot of women who end up in these situations it's a similar thing It's one of those um it's one of those internal stories that we have to heal the other thing that happens is when you actually get with a peer uh or a man who's a provider or a man who actually cares about you then you you have to face fears around being vulnerable You have to face fears around actually being seen and a lot of women yes are terrified of being vulnerable and being seen by someone else So you have to ask yourself Am I choosing these projects because I'm afraid of what I'd have to become in order to attract a masculine man Am I afraid of being vulnerable Am I afraid of letting go of control Um and oftentimes it's really sneaky because hyper-independence is one of the things especially in Western culture and you know my husband and I have lived in multiple countries Uh he runs a business where he literally helps people relocate to other countries diversify their assets immigration passports all those kinds of things We also live the international you know global citizenship lifestyle ourselves and we can tell you just from having been in in many countries it's not just like Western countries anymore It's that there's also been a lot of Western influence all over the world So um that's why we have women from 50 different countries who are a part of this YouTube community because it's just starting to go everywhere right So you and and and in those countries in Western culture being hyper-independent i as a woman is seen as a good thing It's seen as Oh you go girl You're so empowered but a lot of times it's not actual empowerment A lot of times it's actually um a shadow version of the feminine where she wants to manipulate and control because she doesn't feel safe So here's where we have to go into the identity shift and this is where we go from being an orphan to being what I call the magnetic empress And here are some practical steps to rewire this blueprint because healing this is not just about blaming your mother or blaming society or blaming the culture or blaming the women who came before you or auntie or grandma or whoever It's actually about re-parenting the part of you that thinks that she has to do everything in life alone So the shift happens when you start practicing uh radical receiving and I did this through what I call the divine masculine energy experiment This was an experiment that I'd been running for about four months and then I met my husband and I kept it running even after um I met my husband and you'll have to Subscribe and go watch some other videos to find out why But basically what I would do is when someone offered help um I would receive it even if my wound internally were screaming I've got it I can get it done I can do it better than you If I don't do it it's not gonna get done right Even though that's what my insides were screaming I still allowed people and especially men um to help me So in those moments where people wanted to give to me whether it was help whether it was I had colleagues taking me out to you know dinners at fancy restaurants and trying to solve my business problems I had men taking me out to fancy restaurants and trying to buy me gifts and things like that And again my insides would be screaming This is so uncomfortable But what I had to do was learn to pause breathe through the spike of anxiety and say Thank you Thank you and learn to really um receive And I've gotten so good at this that like the poncho and the necklace that I'm wearing right now my husband bought for me yesterday while we were traveling uh to what is known as the Switzerland of Mexico It's Mazamitla If you ever get a chance to go it's fantastic and it's not what anybody expects of Mexico But basically uh we went to this uh it's called un pueblo mágico which means magical town which is a thing in Mexico Um and we went there because he has one of his clients in town that he's finishing their immigration process for Mexico We had an extra day We decided to take a day trip to Mazamitla which I said is known as the Switzerland of Mexico And we were out there right And he bought me this beautiful poncho He bought me the belt He b bought me the necklace that I'm wearing right now And old Amanda would've been like No no no you don't have to do that I can pay for it I can pay for half of it Oh you shouldn't have Blah blah blah blah blah New Amanda receives it all And not only does new Amanda receive it all while we're out here on this trip And I'll I'll put some B-roll here so you guys can see like the magnificence of this place in Mexico I had hundreds of dollars in digital course sales coming in through this YouTube channel This is like the exact polar opposite of everything I was experiencing in my life before I found feminine energy where I had to hustle I had to grind And what I had to change first was me I had to change my internal state to one of instead of always trying to control the situation in order for me to feel safe to actually letting go of control and letting the universe or people or men or just support me and give to me Because that was something that I had neglected for so long And a big part of that process was actually learning to re-parent myself Now many of you have asked for trainings on re-parenting and I've got something cool for you So I just put together a new class called Healing the Wounded Feminine This is where we go through all the archetypes of the insecure women that I talk about on this channel and we start talking about nervous system regulation and we go a lot into re-parenting and also how to heal ancestral wounds so we can get past this mother-daughter wound and come back to wholeness within ourselves so we can get to a place where money gets easier We can get to a place where receiving is easier We can get to a place where we don't feel like we have to control everything all the time and and probably most importantly for those of you who are interested in this YouTube channel based on the analytics um s start attracting better men or at least start being attracted to better men So if that's something that you're interested in you can find the information in the description I'll also leave it in the first comment and I'll have a QR code around here somewhere So thank you so much for giving me your time today If you found value in this video please give it a thumbs up because it helps YouTube know that it should keep sharing it with other women And in addition to that share it with a girlfriend Like I mentioned we've got women from 50-plus different countries coming to this YouTube channel right now and it's not a coincidence I think the feminine is waking up all over the world Women are freaking exhausted and they're also exhausted of being confused and they wanna come out of a state of confusion And you can help them get out of that state of confusion by either giving this video a like or sharing it with a girlfriend who needs it And if you're interested in more content like this please make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell so you don't miss a single video or live stream that we have coming out on this channel Thank you for giving me your time today and I'll catch you on the next one.