Latest / Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge / She's Having a Baby

Transcript

She's Having a Baby · Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: This is Teddy Teapot. Hi, guys, welcome back. I um
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: did a little Instagram poll where I asked everybody what
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: they want to hear the most, okay from me, and
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: the number one topic was they wanted to hear about IBS, infertility, miscarriages,
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: all that kind of stuff. Because I have shared a
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: little bit about my story, you know, through Instagram and
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: through the show that I'm on, and so that's a
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: topic that everybody really wanted me to dig into. I
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: can't wait to hear your story. Well, I'm gonna try
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: not to get super emotional about it, but I figured
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: if we start with my story, then we can go
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: into all the different avenues and kind of dig into
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: the listeners questions. And then also we're gonna have some
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: specialists on and then some other women that have gone
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: through different things than I have and you know, really
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: learn about everything. UM. So, just backstory in regards to me,
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: I had been on the pill since I was about
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: a teenager, you know, like on the pill, and then
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: when my husband and I got engaged, I went off
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: the pill. Not because I was trying immediately to get pregnant,
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: but we were like all right by the time I
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: get married, Um, I'm gonna want to start trying, and
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: we had we had talked about that, so we but
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: we also weren't not trying, right. But I never even
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: was really taught that there was like a time that
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: you ovulated and that's when you got pregnant. Like I
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: was completely glueless. I was like, you know, because when
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: you're younger, you're just taught don't have sex because you
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: get pregnant, right, So I didn't realize there were certain days.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: So I mean, we weren't following any kind of method.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: We were just not not trying. And then after we
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: got married, we were trying and trying and trying, and
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: we learned when we when we needed to try three
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: day window, you know. We we tried to take all
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: the sex appeal out of it. You know, I'm like
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: checking my temperature, doing all the things, and I'm not
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: getting pregnant. And at first it's like it's fun and
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: we're laughing about it and blah blah blah. And then
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: after a while, I just started putting all this pressure
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: on myself. I'm like, I'm still not getting pregnant, and
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: the process started becoming like a job, like we're checking
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: the thing that I'm checking this, and I'm checking that.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: I'm checking to make sure I'm ovulating. Now I'm saying
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: if I'm getting you know, I skipped a period, blah
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: blah blah, nothing's really happening. So I end up going
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: to the doctor and I'm like, listen, you know, here
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: we are. We're over six months into this, but really
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: it's been over a year and a half into this
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: because I haven't not been trying. And he's like, all right,
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: well we'll start you on something called clomad. And I
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: call this the crazy pills. Oh my god, Like I
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: can't even tell you how crazy clomad made me. Apparently
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: what it does is, and I'm not a doctor, but
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: it gives you more eggs or something like that helps
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: you release so it's all estrogen, as I think. So
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: I don't even really know. We're gonna have to task
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: a professional what exactly cloona it is. But I became
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: one of those people. Like I was driving home from work.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: I passed Taco Bell, Okay, fine, I had to do
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: a U turn and I couldn't, and so I called
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: my husband hysterically crying, just so I passed it and
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: then I couldn't do the U turn and he's like, babe,
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: everything's good, like you're alive, Like I had no. I
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: was having these outbursts all of the time. And so
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: that was me on clomad for six months. Welcome to
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: new married life, and you know, I was a disaster. Um.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: So that didn't work and um. Then I went back
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: to the doctor. I'm like, listen, like, you're gonna have
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: to put me in a straight jacket soon because I'm
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: not good on this medication. And he's like, I think
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: you need to go to our fertility specialists. He's like,
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: there's nothing showing up that is wrong with you, but
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: you're just not getting pregnant. So then I went to
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: the fertility doctor and with my daughter Slate. He was like,
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: all right, let's just try to We're gonna keep you
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: on the clod and then we're gonna do a round
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: of insimination. That works for most people. Um yeah, I
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: don't know if he said that works for most people,
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: but he said, let's try an insimination first, which they
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: don't really give you all the information. When you're in there,
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: you're like, okay, great, shouldn't be anything. So we schedule
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: our date and when he goes into you know, Edwin
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: has to like take care of his business. It takes forever.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, listen, buddy, I know how long this
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: normally takes. Like let's get with the program. Here, like
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: waiting for him, I'm ready to get insiminated. And he
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: comes out and he's like his face is like white
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: and he's like that's brutal in there. I'm like, what's
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: the problem. And he's like, they have an updated the
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: Born since the eighties and I'm like what And he
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: is a half breaking mess like he is like I
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: don't know that I can do that again. And I'm like, well,
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: he's like, I mean that was brutal. He's like you're
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: on this like crazy. There's like a couch option. It's
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: not a good scene. But anyway, with Slate, I actually
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: got pregnant the first time being inseminated, which was amazing,
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: Like we were like, yeah, everything's great. Um. Then I
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: had a very difficult pregnancy, I think because so many
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: years of being like riding horses and doing all of that.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: Then I had to stop riding and I kept spotting
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: throughout my pregnancy. So they repeatedly were putting me on
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: bed rest, so my entire pregnancy would be Okay, you
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: can go back to work. I couldn't ride, but I
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: could still teach, and then I would go back on
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: bed rest. So like I was already developing almost like
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: a level of depression because my life was changing in
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: a in a way that I didn't understand. Plus, for
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: your first child, you really don't have any idea what's
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: about to happen. Um. So I I had Slate. She
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: was a healthy, beautiful baby girl, you know, thank you God,
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: amazing um. And then after I had Slate, I got postpartum,
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: and I remember being so embarrassed and ashamed. And I
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: didn't know that that happened to people. And like there
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: were moments where like I would search on the internet
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: like postpartum depression, and I didn't have. I had heard
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: about people getting postpartum and it was like they wanted
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: to hurt their baby. I didn't have that. I just
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: felt so down Edwin would leave for work and I
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: would sob you know, but I didn't want to tell
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: him that because you don't want to tell your husband.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: I don't know I'm gonna make it through this day,
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: you know, and luckily, like with time, it kind of
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: it lifted. And you know, I was so happy that
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: that happened. But then we started trying again to have
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: another baby, and I just it wasn't happening, went through
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: all the steps again and we ended up needing to
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: do IVF. And here's where, like, it just was unbelievably
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: hard for me, because I don't know if everybody's like this,
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: I mean most people, those people probably aren't, but like
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: I don't like to see. I don't like when people
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: can see me breaking down, right, So I hit it
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: from everybody how hard it was every single time. So
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: I would go in, I would have to harvest my eggs,
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: then they would mix it with Edwin's and then we
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: would do um pgs, which is the testing to make
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: sure that you have healthy babies. And then you know,
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: each time I would probably have one or two. Then
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: they would put, you know, implant. I don't know if
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: the words implant they would yeah, they would implant the baby.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: And then multiple times, like it was just repeated, you know,
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: like this one didn't take it. All your numbers are, Oh,
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: we don't know what's going to happen here. Um you
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: now you have a killer cell, which I had never
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: heard of before. So then they started me on blood
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: thinners and steroids and it just was like just NonStop,
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: and you know, you just get really stuck inside of
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: yourself and and I know I'm gonna get heat for this,
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: but I all I could keep thinking was what is
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: wrong with me? Like what am I doing? Why is
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: my body killing these babies? Like what is happening? And
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: then like the final straw was the I was. I
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: went in. We did another round and at this point,
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: like everyone in my life was like this, this is
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: getting a little it's getting a little brutal here. And
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: I went in and I got pregnant, and it was like, yeah,
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: this is great. And they didn't say, like, your numbers
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: are still really low, You're still like in a danger zone.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: We know, we knew it was a boy because of
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: the testing, and UM we named him UM like we
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: were ready. And then I had a miscarriage and I
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: remember being like what am I going to do and
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: almost wanting to hide it from everybody in my life
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: because I was like, they're not going to let me
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: do this again. And like I remember, I was like,
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: you know, I just really thought it was gonna work,
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: and I was so excited, and I just remember feeling
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: so broken, and I remember a call. I had a
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: conversation with my dad and Edwyn at the same time,
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: and they were like, you're not doing it again. You're
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: actually going to take a break, And I said, if
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: I can talk to the doctor and he will let
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: me do it one more time, you guys, please just
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: let me do it one more time, because I just
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: I'm not I just can't imagine not trying again. I
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: promise I can do it. I can do it. And
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: it became this like almost obsession that I don't know
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: why it like became this way. So then I became
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: a totally different person, Like I was like, I am
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: not sure one person that this is hard. I am
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: done being upset about it because I can't let them
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: know and pull it away. So I called my doctor
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: with my husband on, and he was like, you know,
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: Dr Mars. So for those of you asking who my
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: doctor was, it was Dr Mars. I said, will you
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: please let me do one more round? And he's like, Teddy,
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: I don't think you're emotionally in the place to do it.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: And I said, please, I'm begging you one more round
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: and then I promise, I'll take a year off, just
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: let me do it, and he was like, I, okay,
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: you can do one more round. And we went in
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: and you know, everybody's mind frame was just different this time,
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: and we went in kind of sad, like we no
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: longer had that like life in us, like where you
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: know this is going to happen, and uh, I it
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: was before Christmas, so I would have found out on
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: Christmas Day. And I didn't even tell anybody those details.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: I just went home for Christmas, I had the implantation.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: I went home for Christmas. I lived Christmas like I
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: wasn't pregnant, like life was nothing. And I came back
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: and I was pregnant like I was pregnant, and everything
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: felt really, you know great, But then they're like, but
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: your numbers are still low. So for the first you know,
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: it was I think ten weeks, you're just kind of waiting,
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: and then it just was that waiting game. But luckily
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: Crews stuck and you know, he was my amazing baby boy.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: But then what ended up happening next to us, which
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: I don't know that a lot of people talk about,
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: which is actually the hardest part that we went through
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: in regards to this whole process is when Cruz was born.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: So you know, we already had all of like these
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: mixed feelings because we had to do IVF. We chose
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: a boy. We knew, you know, all of these things
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: that go through your mind that they shouldn't you. We
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: just wanted a healthy baby. But like you start blaming yourself. Um,
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: we when I was going into labor, was really long labor,
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: and when crews finally came out, the nurse put him
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: on my chest and I said, um, something something's wrong
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: with him. I'm sorry, something's wrong with him. So they
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: immediately because they saw on my record that I had
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: postpartum was slate, they saw something was wrong with me,
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: and they weren't really believing that something was wrong with him.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: And finally a nurse like, they're like, he's fine, teddy.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: Some kids just take a little bit longer to cry.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: You shouldn't have to worry about it, and it's gonna
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: be okay. And I started screaming like it's not okay.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: He's not okay. And finally the nurse was like, you
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: know what, he's not okay, like, and they called the
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: code and the hunter. You know, Cedars is a learning hospital,
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: so it's hundreds of doctors coming in and you know,
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: like learning, you know whatever, they take him away from
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: from us. He's on life support. We don't know anything.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: They medicate me, so I like knock out. I wake
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: up and my husband is just sitting in the corner
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: and like a pile of mush, like just like crying.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: He's like, I don't know if Cruises alive. I haven't
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: heard from anyone. No one's told me anything. I'm just
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: sitting here. And he's like, now I'm blaming myself because
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: we did this and we created this bit. You know,
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: like all of these things that are going through your mind,
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: they are completely out of your control. And I called
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: up to the to the nick you and I said, Hi,
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: I'm Cruises Mom, and it's so great. You guys want
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: to come up. Oh my god, you guys want to
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: come up. He's still on. He's still on, you know,
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: the breathing machine and everything like that, but you guys
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: can't hold him, but you can see him. And um,
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: you know, once we saw him, all of those those
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: feelings went away. But that time where you're just really
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: trying to figure out if your baby's okay, you go
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: to every negative place in the world. And you know,
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: we ended up finding out that they don't exactly know
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: why he wasn't breathing when he was born, but he
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: does have a heart condition, but something that can be managed,
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: so in the end, it's all very positive. But it
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: became a reason why, I mean, why we never thought
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: we'd have another baby again. And that's why I mean,
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: for those of you who do or don't know, I
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: am nineteen weeks pregnant right now and it happened naturally,
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: and I had no idea, and I didn't even know
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: I was pregnant till I was nine weeks pregnant. Um,
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: we weren't trying, you know, It's just how life works.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: So I know all of the ups and downs. I
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: know so many of you guys that have struggled with
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: the same things I have. Once I started opening up
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: and telling people I had a miscarriage, or this happened,
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: or this happened, or I had the killer cell or
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: the me too, me too, me too, you know, and
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: we don't talk about things until somebody else is going
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: through them. And I think it's so important to know
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: you're not alone. But um, I don't even know how
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: to transition from. And I hope it's okay that I'm
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: asking emotionally, how do you feel being pregnant? Are you nervous? Well,
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: that's what everybody has been asking me, because I was
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: so nervous the last couple of times. Also, I was
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: in a completely different stage in my life because even
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: with CRUs I was on bed rest multiple times as well.
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: And going into this pregnancy, I'm able to be active because,
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: like one, I didn't know for eight weeks, so I
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: was active all before. You know, they say what the
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: doctor says, as long as you start your pregnancy active,
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: you can continue whatever you were doing prior. So I
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: am able to eat properly, like to nourish the baby.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: I'm in a place where I'm taking care of myself.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: I'm able to move every day. I'm still able to
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: work my jobs, change, you know, all of those things.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: And to be honest, I'm the least stressed about this
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: baby than I have I was with the others. And
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: I think it's solely because I'm like, I've done the
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: I've done it the other way right, and I just
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: can't do it that way again. And you don't have
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: all of those prescriptions in your body, which so this
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: probably feels really different. Yeah, Everyone's like, how do you
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: not know you were pregnant? I'm like, well, when I
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: was pregnant on the others, I was either on the
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: clomad or the steroids or the blood thunders are, Like,
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: I was on so much medication that I wasn't feeling
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: the regular pregnancy symptoms. So even in those first you know,
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: eight or nine weeks when I didn't know it was pregnant,
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: I was like, I'm tired. But who isn't tired When
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: you have kids and you work and you're filming a
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: TV you know, whatever it is, you're tired. Yeah. So
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: I mean I really feel like, I'm like, we're gonna
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: be okay. Um, But it's definitely a different feeling that
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: I've ever had being pregnant. So yeah, I'm just like,
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: you know, but we were. I mean, I took nine
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: home pregnancy tests before I went to the doctor with
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: the phone. Wait, I just want did you postmate the
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: practice pregnancy test to the house. Where did you go
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: to go? To know? Like I like walk of ship,
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: like what I went twice to go and then the
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: third time, I asked my sistem like, can you figure
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: me up from pregnancy tests? I just don't know that
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: I can handle the CBS lady again my ship is
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: I'm really judging, but I still have them all just
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: in case I love it. Oh my gosh. So yeah,
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: that's kind of my my story, and I I feel
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: like when I whenever I talk about it, yes, there's
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: people that are gonna I'm not going to say everything right,
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: I'm going to say something that may end up offending
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: somebody or that. But I have to be able to
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: share my story and how I felt because there are
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: people that are going through the same exact thing that
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: feel really alone that I don't feel like they can
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: open up because for whatever reason, we put this pressure
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: on ourselves. Forever reason we don't. It's weird. You feel
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: like if you are weak or you break down, and
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: it's not even weak, it's just having emotions that they're
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: going to tell you have to stop right, and it's
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's brutal. When someone says, you know you're
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: done just enough, you need time, your time to heal,
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: and can you still It's like you took us right
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: back there. And I think you went back there. I
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: could feel the panic when you were like, please, Dad, please, Edwin,
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: let me do it one more time. Yeah, like and
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: that all these other people had sort of they want
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: to have your best interest, but it's almost like a
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: power over you. And that would be so because they're like,
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: we want you to we want you to feel better,
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: we want you to not have this hanging over you.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: But like in my mind I know best, like I
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: know that like this is going to happen this time.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: I don't even know why I thought that. I think
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: I was just so desperate that I was like, if
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: I say it, and then I'm just because I promise myself.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm gonna be chill, I'm gonna go home,
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna be fine at Christmas. I'm not gonna be
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: bugging out. I'm not gonna be testing. I'm not gonna
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: have a mental break at Christmas Eve, like I'm gonna
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: And I just kind of told myself that. And then
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: when I came back and they were like, you're you're pregnant,
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: I was like, but then you know they still then
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: every every day you go in to test your levels
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: when you had repeated issues, So then it's like that
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: mind game every single day. It only and you're like,
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: but I was like, it's okay, that's the terrible number.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: You know, you just need to start like tricking yourself
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: to try, you know, to do that. But it's I know,
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: there are just so many people out there, and there's
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: so many husbands also that have no idea what to
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: do when their wife is in the state. So, um,
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: I know we're having some different guests in and I
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: also know that we have a ton of questions to
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: get through, and we're kind of writing down questions as
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: they come for the doctor because I still don't know
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: what a killer cell is. I don't really either, because
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: I the one thing my doctor did say is like,
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: don't go on web md. Do you do? You're not
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: a doctor, So quit trying to diagnose yourself over my diagnosis,
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: because then you know, you become really crazy. Well, I
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: wonder our killer cells common and I don't know. My
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: guess is what happens. What I was told, but also
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: remember I was told not in the best state, was
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: that your body thinks that your baby is like a
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: foreign object and it goes to like get rid of it.
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: So that's why you need the blood thinners and the steroids.
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: So but I mean there's been so many questions. We
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: also need to find out about pcos A lot of
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: people ask me about that. And then there's also just
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: people that have a lot of questions about freezing their eggs,
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: um when they're even when they're not ready to have
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: a baby. So what do you do after when you
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: don't want to use the rest of them? You have
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: to that you have to save them like in the
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: or you have to donate or I mean some people
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: I think even sell. There's so many different things that
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: like we don't even know. Yeah, I have all kinds
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: of questions, I know, so do I. So with that,
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: should we take a little break and then um, when
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: we come back, I think Sadie Murray is going to
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: come in and talk to us about her journey. Hey,
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: so we're back with Teddy, t Pod and Jen and
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: I are going to ask Sadie some questions because she
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: just recently froze her eggs. So give us the deeds.
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: What lad you to want to start freezing your eggs?
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: Your age, give us, give us everything. So I had
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: just um ended a relationship, you know, when I was
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: I was I dated this guy who I thought I
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: was going to marry, and I was thirty four when
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: we broke up and he told me, actually, I don't
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: think I ever want to have a family, and I
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: felt like, are you kidding me? Like I just wasted
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: this time with you, and it blew my mind. But
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: it was also kind of like the fire that I
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: needed under my ass to take control of the situation.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: And so I met with a doctor um in Newport
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: Beach and I got all the info. Then I chickened out,
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: like I made my appointment. Then I was like, no,
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: I've got time, only thirty four. And then I went
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: back in and he was like no, literally, like time
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: is not on your side, like it's not like like yeah,
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: and he was like, whether you do it with me
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: or someone else, like you just need to know the facts,
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: because I kind of felt like, and this is you
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: at thirty four, Yeah, so this is I'm thirty six now, Okay.
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: So I meet with him and he's he kind of
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: I mean, I got over the emotional aspect of it,
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: like this isn't the way I planned it, this isn't
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: what I wanted necessarily, but I wanted to empower myself. Right.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: So then finally I turned thirty five and I'm like,
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: all right, it's a d day. Here we go, get
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: this over with. And I thought, you know what, and
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: if I can do this, if I'm gonna be a mom,
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: you have to be able to handle anything, so why
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: not show it off now kind of a thing? Right? So, yeah,
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: I did it. I So some of the listeners questions are,
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: if you're going in solely to freeze your eggs, how
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: much does it cost? Mine was about twelve thousand dollars
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: twelve thousand, and like for your did you do it
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: one time or multiple? I've only done it once because
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: I got a nice amount of eggs the first, you
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: know when I did it, But I have I have
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: a couple of girlfriends that you know have done it
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: twice three times. I mean, you do it as many
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: times as you need to. And then what is the like,
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: for lack of a better word, the storage, Like, what
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: is the right monthly for that? I think mine is
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: it's maybe five hundred a year, So it's not horrible.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: I mean, isn't that where the storage like a storage?
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: I was thinking about this seriously. I was thinking about
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: this the other day I was like, how are my
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: eggs doing? I'm to st visit them. I would like
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: to someday. Yeah, I have photos of them on my phone.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: It was so funny, you guys, I'm in a group
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: text with my girlfriends from college. We're all in the
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: same sorority and all of them are married and have
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: you know, at least one kid. My best friend just
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: had her third and we're all the same age. And
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: my friends like, show me pictures if your new babies.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: And I'm on this group text and I'm like, are
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: you serious? Like that's so annoying. So they're all like
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: cute photos of like you know them, like riding bikes
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: and stuff like that. And so I sent the actual
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: pictures of the eggs that I got from my doctor
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: and I was like, here are my little popsicles. So
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: when now the you've done that, what are kind of
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: your next thoughts? Like? Where where's your headspace? Now? I
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: feel like, you know, big dick energy. Yeah, I feel
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: like I have that now like when I'm now when
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: I'm dating, like, I don't feel like I have to
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: settle because you know, I want to get married and
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: have a family. Now I'm walking into this chapter of
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: my life with a sense of confidence that whether or
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: not I use them or not, the fact that I
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: know that I did this for myself and for my
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: future family or for my future husband. It's making me,
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: you know, feel like I have more options. And there's
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: nothing better than feeling like you're more free, I think, right,
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: because I have so many people I know that are
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: now divorced. I mean, I'm thirty six, I was engaged
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: at one point, broke it off, and I feel like
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: now like statistically, I've like skipped my divorce if I
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: was never going to have one, you know what I mean.
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: Like I'm like, Okay, well I don't save some money,
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: I spend it on the eggs. Um. Yeah, So I
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: think now the next step is I mean, I'm single,
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: I'm dating, and I'm It's funny though, I almost sometimes
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: I have to stop myself from like telling the guy,
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: oh hey, I throze my eggs because like, like too much,
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: I don't want. I Also, I know that that's like
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: a concern to like, if I'm a guy and I'm
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: dating around, it's like, of course you're gonna want to
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: pick the fresher eggs. Of course you're gonna go if
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: you're younger. Yeah, sure, guys are really think I don't
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: know date one, Like, don't bring it up on date one.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: I have you guys, I have brought it up on it. No.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: I have been like yeah, and they're like, so do mind?
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: Like how old are you? Come back on the How
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: to Date episode? Oh my god, Lord help us all
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: with that. I've got so many stories. And how did
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: you feel during the process of when you were giving
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: yourself the shots and all of that. I was a
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: different thing because when I was going through it, I
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: was trying to get pregnant apparently, versus you were doing
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: it just to make sure that I had you had
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: the security. Yeah. Well I was a little diva about it,
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: like I was like really afraid to I've never given
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: myself an injection before, Like I'm not a drug addict,
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: you know what, even like I'm just like I'm not
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: used to it, Like I'm just I don't know, like
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: I do get you know, injections in my face. But
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: like that's someone else is doing it, right. This is different.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: This is like, oh my god, if I miss and
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: I hit a nerve or something, what's going to happen?
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: So I decided to make it a thing for my
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: first shot, and I like went to Malibu and stayed
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: the night in like at the at the Malibu beach
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: in and I like woke up and I like prayed,
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: and I like was like, Okay, here we go. We're
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: doing this journey because it's like, you know, eighteen days
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: of shots. And I grabbed my my stomach and I
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: was like, thank god, I've gained a little weight. There's
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: some fat there. And I just pretended like I was
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: injecting a piece of chicken or something, and I was like, Okay,
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: let's do this. This isn't my body. Here we go.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: And it was fine to YouTube video totally so many times,
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: and then I like would I found myself like talking
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: to the lady and I was like, is this right,
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: And she's like it's like she's not really there. But
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: I was like, really, it was scary. But now that
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: you're saying that, I had totally just blocked out the
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: memory of giving myself shots. That's the crazy thing about
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: doing this process. Like I had given myself so many
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: different rounds of shots that I remember I would go
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: in and it would be crunchy in the spot because
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: I had injected the same area, so because you know
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: you have your comforted Yeah, okay, this spot right, jam.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: But then yeah, she's right, Daddy's so good about giving
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: it in this spot, right. But after so many rounds,
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: that spot is like you know what, f you go
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: find a new spot? Yeah did the other side. Yeah,
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: but I totally blacked that out until you were just
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: saying that now. Like it was weird too, because then
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: you get a little bit like after you've done it,
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: maybe you're in for like a week, you're like, I'm
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: a pro, you know, you get like a little cocky.
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: Like I was like, I can go to this party
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: now and then I'll just do it in the bathroom.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: And I did. I was like, this hasn't been to
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: ruin my life. I mean I didn't like drink while
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: I was doing it or anything like that, but like
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: I it was because I did it um like around Halloween,
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: like into November, and it was like, you know you
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: just start like going to different people's holiday holiday stuff. Yeah,
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: it was just more of that time, and I was
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: like I had birthday parties and things. I was like,
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: I'm bringing my kit, I'm bringing my needles. I talk
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: about my purse and I did it. Would you would
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: you consider doing another round if more time went by,
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: or do you think if you were to meet somebody,
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: Let's say I just had somebody in calling it calling
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: in your now in eight weeks, so you meet somebody
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: in eight weeks from now, you fall in love. Would
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: you try to get pregnant naturally or would you use
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: your younger, fresher eggs. I would try and get pregnant
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: naturally first. I think that's ideal, and obviously I want
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: to save those eggs, so if I because that's what
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: my doctor said. Um, he was like, you know, you
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: may not even use these. I have people come in
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: and then they meet the love of their life a
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: year later because they're just so like, there's something about
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: being free of this, you know. Do you think you
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: would keep them stored anyway forever? So okay. I was
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: actually just talking about this with my one of my
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: best guy friends. Him and his partner are talking about
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: having kids, and he was like, we were hanging out
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: one night. We've known each other since kindergarten, so he
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: has the he can ask me this stuff. So we've
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: had a little wine and he's like, I've got the
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: energy and the courage to ask you this, Can I
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: have one of your eggs? It's like no, I'm like,
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: are you kidding me? That's no. No, I'm like really protective.
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: He's like, okay, but what if you sorry, Sadie, what
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: if you die? And I was like, You're so lucky.
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: I'm on my second glass of wine right now, Like
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: what in the actual okay? And I was like, actually,
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: I was like I don't when I signed the form,
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: you know where you say, what do you want to
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: do with them? Like if you do pass away? Like
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: I don't know what's going to happen in life. There
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: were only two options, and it was either you donate
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: them to science, to people who need them or science
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: or what have you, and or you destroy them. I
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: chose the latter because I just felt like that's their
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: mind and I don't want anyone else to have them now.
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: But I think I was hopped up on hormones when
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: I signed it, and so now yeah, like I'm like
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: I definitely shot, you know, but like now I totally
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: have a different perspective, Like now I may give them
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: to a family that like can't or my sisters, you know,
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: that's what I'm gonna do. So that's what I'm gonna
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: I need to, you know, obviously work it up, but
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: I don't. Also, they shouldn't make you sign things when
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: you're not. I was such a psychopath at the end.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: At the end, I was like I was. I was
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: literally like I was great up until two days before
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: and I called my mom and I was like, I
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: don't know if I want to yell at people, cry
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: or just like fall asleep. I don't know what's happening
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: in my life right now, but like I shouldn't be driving.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: I told him about how I broke down going because
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: I missed the entrance for taco, about I mean things.
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: I swear to god, this is real. This is real.
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: You turn the smallest thing is that for real? A
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: full breakout my husband, and it's a talk about I
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: couldn't find the place to you, like full break and
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: you have to imagine he's at work. He's like, hey, babe,
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: you good, You're not enough? Actually okay, like did you
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: get arrested? Like what's happening up? I just wanted to
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: be in cheese. Oh my, that is epic right there.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: And then you're and then I get off the phone,
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: like it could have been nicer. Yeah, how did he
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: offer to get me? One? Didn't he offer to leave
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: his job and get me? And You're like, I'm not
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: even pregnant yet, Oh my god. No. I know I
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: had to like not go on dates during that time too,
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: because I was good because you're already bringing up date one.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: I know, well you know when you do bring it
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: up date one, and the guy's like good to know
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: that he's probably know I And honestly, I don't care
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: at this point, like I'm at a I'm at a
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: place in my life where like this is me take
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: it or leave it. Like obviously I'm not going to
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: like roll up and like show them the photos of
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: my eggs, but like you know, if it comes up,
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: like I feel like I'm proud of it, Like I'm
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: like I did this, This is so cool. And I
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: think like you're saying, like the guy that is my
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: guy will be like thank you for doing that, because
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: I don't want your old eggs. But also, I mean,
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: it's crazy even getting pregnant this time. I mean, when
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: I went in and everything was good, he's like, well,
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: because you are advanced maternal age. I'm thirty eight, he goes,
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: you go and do another round of testing the insurance
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: covers this time, and I'm like, advanced maternal you know,
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: I didn't even like hearing those words. And like thirty
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: eight is considered advanced geriatric. Yeah, Like, which is gotta
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: I mean, it just puts so much pressure on people
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: that you know, everybody's getting married later. Now. It's not
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: like when you know, we were kids and our parents
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: all met in high school and they all got My
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: parents met when they were nine and eleven, they went
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: to prom together. Like this is the stuff that we
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: have to see. What's happening now? People are getting married
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: in their thirties, forties, whatever. And so when you're going
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: into the doctor advanced maternal age at thirty eight, you're like, wow,
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: imagine going in there. And I mean when so many
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: of my followers are like, I'm thirty seven years old
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: and I'm trying to decide if I should freeze my age.
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: But there's also the pressure of you know, I do
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: freeze megs and then I don't eat somebody, and then
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: now it's five years later and I definitely want to
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: have a child. Yeah, do you do it on your own?
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: Do you do it on your own. I wouldn't, but
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: I don't think that it's I think you can't. I mean,
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: obviously it's a six year old Sadie wouldn't write. Who
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: knows where I'll be. I'll be like the Octo Mom.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: I thought about the honestly single Octo Mom Sadie. Everyone
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: will be like, wow, that's a reality show. Then I
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: can pay for it. Oh my god, it'll be so exciting,
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: you know what. I'll pitch it, I'll produce. Thank you.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, I really appreciate it. Yeah, you know
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: right now, I would be like, no, I'm I'm going
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: I want my person. I want my person and I
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: want to have a family with that guy. But at
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: the same time, you know, I'm also I'm not opposed
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: to adopting, like because I don't even know if. I mean,
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: the eggs are viable and they're great, but like, who
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: knows if I can carry it? Who knows? If you know,
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: would you be open to adopting now or would you
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: want to wait as well for that? I mean I
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: want to wait. Yeah, and you you told me that
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: you're I haven't adopted brother from Guatemala. I was twenty
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: seven when my mom adopted him when he was five.
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: Can you walk us through that process a little bit,
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: because a lot of people were asking about adoption also
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: in regards to from foster to adoption as well. Fostering
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: is so important, especially you know, I'm from Detroit and
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: I worked in the foster care, like in foster care,
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: working with those kids as a therapist, and there are
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: great foster pearance. Of course we always hear about the
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: horrible stories in the news, but the majority of them
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: do it because they love children and they want to
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: take care of them and they want to give them stipila.
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: How do you even get started doing something like that.
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: It's a it's a pretty long process of background checks, interviews,
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: um you know, uh, letters from people in your life
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: so that you know that bouge for you as a parent,
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: as a human, why you're doing this. They come in
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: and check the home, They come in and observe. It's
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: a it's a really long process because they're placing kids
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: in these homes until they're either adopted a lot of them.
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: You know, there's a huge percentage of kids in the
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: foster in foster care that never get adopted, right, But
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: these families are angels. So when my mom went to Guatemala,
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: she had gone to Mexico and then she went to
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: Guatemala and she was visiting to go with like a
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: group where she was just going on. She was just
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: going on vacation, and she visited uh An orphanage and
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: she met Diego and he was four, he had just
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: turned four, and it took her a year to adopt him.
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: Very Angelina Jolia of her very I mean, you just
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: go on vacation and pick up a kid, okay, kid,
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: I always look for a sun hat or but sure
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: that works too. That was sorry. I had to light
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: in the mood of touch, just a touch. We needed
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: you in here fifteen minutes ago. That was my reaction.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: She called me and she said, I fell in love
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: with Diego in Guatemala and I'm going to bring him home.
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: And I said, are you crazy, I'm twenty seven years
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: old to be your kid? Yes, And she said no, no, no, no,
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: just go to the house and go look at the
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: photo on the counter. And so I was like, I
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: was just why. I just felt that I was like,
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: you already raised me? Are you? Were? You an only
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: child of two older half sisters. But so we have
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: different moms, so I'm her only biological child. So I
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: was like, why don't you just go travel? Like, go travel?
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: Don't you want to be free? And look what happened? Diego?
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: Now I'm so close. I finally went over to the
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: house and looked on the counter at that picture and
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, it's so cute, such a sad
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: ending if you're like and I never spoke to I
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: love that so much. We have so many more things
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: we need to get into, but unfortunately have to take
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: a little break. So I'm excited. We have a guest
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: coming on in a second. Her name's Michelle, and she
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: also froze her eggs, but she got pregnant with a
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: sperm donor, which reminds me of a story from when
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: I was seventeen, eighteen years old and I came to
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: Los Angeles, which is so crazy considering all the things
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: that you know, ended up happening with me trying to
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: get pregnant and whatnot. But I was like super broke.
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: I worked in the marrim at Cia and with a roommate,
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: we lived in a studio apartment. You know, I was
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: also a hostess. And I was like, really, just like,
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: we barely have enough money to get the pink dout
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: we're ordering, so we were like a desperation central. And
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: I pulled open like I can't remember, like I was
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: looking at my boss is like Hollywood reporter or whatever
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: it was, and I saw that somebody was wanting to
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: harvest somebody's eggs and they were going to pay ten
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: thousand dollars for it. And I was like, I didn't
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: talk to anybody about because I knew I was gonna
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: get judge. But I'm like, that could be a good thing.
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: Ten thousand dollars to me. Ten thousand dollars. People assume
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: when they think about me that like I had a
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: trust fund, I had all this money. I didn't. I
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: was freaking broke. As a joke, like I didn't even
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: have a credit card, Like it was a situation. Um.
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: So I was like, you know what, I think I
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: could do this. So I called the number on the
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: thing and I'm like, hi, um, I was just curious
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: that I saw something. I didn't say my name, thank god,
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: but I was like, I saw that you're wanting to
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: pay somebody for their eggs. You know, I wasn't thinking
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: of the repercussion anything. You know, you're just a dumb kid.
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: And the person's like, great, I just have a couple
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: of questions for you. Do you have blue you know
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: we pay extra for certain things. Do you have blue eyes?
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: And like I have blue eyes? And he's like great,
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: And then they asked a couple of other questions, you know,
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: like a bah blah blah blah blah blah. And then
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: everything's going well and he's like, I think we should
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: set a meeting. Oh one last question, where'd you go
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: to college? And I go I didn't And he goes, oh, well,
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: actually you're no longer in contention? What what I was like?
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: I remember I looked at my roommate and I'm like,
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: they don't even want me, and they're not gonna want
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: you either because you didn't go to college either. So
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: then I actually talked to my mom and dad about
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: it and they were like, day, what are you thinking
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: like that? What have you lost your mind? I was like,
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: maybe a good thing. I brought it up to you
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: guys before I found the next at I was like, no,
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: they would have been like laughing at me. If I
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: was like, but can I have some money? They'd be
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: like go kick rocks, get a third job. Um, but yeah,
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: that was my story. But anyways, Michelle, I'm excited to
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: hear about yours. And you are glowing, beautiful, pregnant twenty
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: eight weeks. It's the first week of my um of
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: my third try mystery. Wow, it's a trip, like it
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: just popped out. It's a little boy, a little boy.
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: Do you have a name? Pecked? You don't have to
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: tell yet. I mean, like my friend's son wants me
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: to name him Thelonias. I like that. So tell us
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: a little bit about your story, like and also we
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: have to ask all those annoying questions like how old
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: you are and all those types of things. Okay, okay,
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: so give it to us. Okay. Um, we'll maybe tell
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: us how old you are and then what led you
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: to this? Okay, I'm forty six, no way, And it's
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: it's so weird because I don't think about age. But
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: I froze my eggs in eleven and so how were
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: you in I'm very bad and go to college. Um,
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: that would be thirties seven. And I did it because
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: I had a little store up in San Francisco and
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: it was the recession it was really intense period in time,
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: and I ended up getting diagnosed with cancer and it
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: was the first thing I thought of was to freeze
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: my eggs and UM, but it wasn't something that they suggested.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: It is like immediately I was like, Okay, this is
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: going to be intense this year, and on top of it,
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: I don't want to potentially be um sterile from this.
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: And so I ended up freezing my eggs and and
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: then I went through like cancer treatment up in San
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: Francisco at ECSF and UM. And then it circled around
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: where last year was forty five and I was like
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: dating a guy that was a total mess, and I
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: was like I don't have time for this, Like what
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: am I doing here? Like I just I can't be
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: with like a forty five year old baby, you know,
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: Like I don't want a forty five yeld baby. And
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: I got out of that night, but this stress, like
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: I didn't realize I wanted a kid so badly, Like
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: I did it. Obviously I did it froze my eggs,
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: so it's important to me. But I kept thinking I'd
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: meet the right person and then I UM. Last year,
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: I was talking to a friend who's adopted a girl,
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: a little baby girl, and she has three boys. And
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: she's like, Hommy, that's my last name, and she's like,
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: just have a baby and then you can meet the guy.
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: And then just through a series of of things. That
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: month when she said that came up, I had to
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: pay my storage for you for my eggs. So I
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: went to go see my doctor in San Francisco, who
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: froze them, and he like when I walked in, he
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: started crying and he's like, Michelle, I love seeing patients
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: like you. It's amazing you're here. Um. I love him.
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: His name's Mitchell Rosen in San Francisco. He's incredible. The
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: next thing I knew, I was just on the journey
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: of doing IVF and like it's so cool because like
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: everything kind of panned out like where I had like
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: cash flow come last year, like things have just been
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: like magically like unfolding to get to this place. And
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: it worked. So in April seventeenth this year, I had
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: I did three transfers. I found sperm last year. Okay,
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: I have to stop you. Yes, that was a whole
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: other thing where I was like, I mean, did he
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: go to college? He did? That was a PSI student,
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: which is kind of funny. So I feel like he's
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: in l a somewhere, but he's UM and he The
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: funny thing is like did you see it? So you
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: know what he looks like. I know what he looks
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: like as a child. Oh, most of them, it's literally
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: like Tinder. It's like it's like but you never have
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: to go in it, like the dream come true. There's
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: like it's a website. Well, like there's a few. So
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: there's one UM smaller sperm bank in the East Bay
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: that's like it was started by lesbian couples, like I
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: don't know, fifteen years ago and right now I can't
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: remember the name of it. So I looked at that
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: one because I know that they really go into like
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: looking for good character of sperm donors. And then I
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: ended up finding my sperm at California Cryobank, which they
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: have a huge um how much does it cost to
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: get a sperm? So a vial of sperm is a
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: thousand dollars? That is not that now and it's and
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: how much how much does a vial? That I know,
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: how much does a vial? How far does the vial go?
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: Did a vile last you all through transfers. Yeah, so
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: my doctor worked with me because usually they asked you
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: to um to like get to sper sperm vials, and
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: I just bought one and I sent it up there
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: to him, like they have to. You have to pay
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: extra to pay to have it frozen sent up like
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: through FedEx or whatever. How long did it take you
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: to pick X? Wait? Wait? How long did it take
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: you to pick him? It took me a few weeks
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: because it's overwhelming. So I sat down and looked. I
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: was like whoa, Like this is a lot. And then
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: I had to go back and regroup and look at
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: it like a month later, and I ended up buying
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: his sperm in September. But I went through a process
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: of like looking there were some donors that had their
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: adult photos, and there's like this one really cute guy
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: that like had a master's and like production and like
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: what seemed like very like creative, like served hiked and
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I could date this guy. And
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: then I heard his interview with like the like someone
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: at the sperm bank and he had a chip on
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: his shoulder, and I was like, if I'm going to
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: be a single mom, like I really want like someone
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: that's like happy joy, you know, doesn't stay on there,
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: like if you could ever reach out to the sperm donor.
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: So that's the other thing that helps. So like there's
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: like literally like a thousand donors. So I like I
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: picked filters that like narrowed down my start. So one
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: of them was I decided to do an open downer
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: so that if my baby wants to reach out to
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: the dad, he could do. Now, I love your your
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: sperm donor, he said, yeah, yeah, and almost so I won't.
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: I don't know who he is, and we won't now
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: until my baby is eighteen if my baby wants to
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: reach out to him. But at least it's like another
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: family mamber, your soul mate. Who knows, I could wait
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: eighteen years. I've been sing all this long. Wow, I
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: think that's so amazing that you can pick that, because
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: that's what I was thinking, Like, when you are telling
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: your son, it's so nice to be able to give
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: them that option. Right when do you think you'll tell
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: your son? I feel like right away, it's like why,
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure it's going to come up. I'm
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: just kind of trusting the journey on that. I mean,
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: this is so incredible. And then so you send it,
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: you send it, you fed exit, you pay baxtra f
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: and then so this is the doctor, so I he
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: worked with me on my one sperm vile because I'm
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: doing this sellout. So it's like it's still a lot
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: of money. You know, how much did you spend? I
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: think I did a spreadsheet almost like fell over. It
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: was mind's less probably than a lot of people. But
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: I spent about grand Yeah. Do you think you would
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: ever do it again? I don't know. It depends because
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: now I still have half of the sperm up north,
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: and I have eleven eggs left because I had a
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: huge fertility. Like when when they harvested my eggs, they
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: took out twenty three And did you do PGF before?
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: You didn't? And then for your you said you did
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: three transfers. So for your first two, did you get
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: pregnant or um? I think I had like a chemical
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: predicate and then the second one didn't work. How what
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: was your emotional state during that time? Now that I'm
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: out of it and I'm pregnant, like I feel so
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: much more. It took a few weeks into pregnancy, like
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: maybe two months, but like I'm so much more stable,
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: Like I don't. I don't think I realized like how
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: emotional I was during the IVF process, because as hormones
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: are intense, the hormones are intense. I almost felt like
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: I shut down the world around me because I didn't
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: want anybody to know the level of how control I
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: was totally that. I feel like it's the pill, like
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: during the process. You have to take the pill when
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: you start a new cycle, and you're on it for
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: like a month or so, and then you start doing
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: injections or whatever. At least for me, because I wasn't
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: taking out eggs each round already at them, the pill
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: was crazy, Like I just feel like I got for me,
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: it was like my thing was like depression. That's how
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: I was as well. That turned really manifested into anxiety.
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's just it's so crazy the things that
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: we do to ourselves over things that we cannot control.
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: On that note, we have Julia Sadler on the line,
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: and she wrote a book called Pray Big Things, and
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: she is a mom to triplets who struggled with infertility,
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: and so I think it would be really interesting to
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: get her perspective on all of this all right. Here
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: we are back, and I think Julia Sadler is on
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: the line. Hello, Julia, Hi, how are you going. I'm great,
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: Thanks for coming on with us. We really appreciate for
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: having me so nice. I thank you for having me.
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: I was wondering if you could share a little bit
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: about your story with us. So many people that listen
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: to the podcast, you know, one of their main questions
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: was like, how you know, how do you stay strong
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: throughout having multiple miscarriages and things like that. So, I mean,
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: I think your story will truly resonate and um, so
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: I would. I would love to hear from you. Okay, awesome, Yeah,
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: I mean, I think it was so interesting to experience
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: miscarriages after becoming a professional counselor because I knew, like
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: I knew it was important to stay close to your spouse,
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: and I knew it was important the process of feelings.
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: But it's just totally different knowing what you're supposed to
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: do and then actually experiencing it. And I know that
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: you're familiar with that pain and that struggle. But my
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: husband and I we were we were junior high sweethearts
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: and we've been together for a long time. And we
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: just never had any reason to think there was any
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: problem getting pregnant. It was just something we weren't ready
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: to do. And so at seven, when we've been married
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: about seven years, we decided it was time, and I
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: got pregnant super easily, and I remember just thinking, wow,
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: like that wasn't too hard. And just a few weeks
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: later and up losing that first child, and we were
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: very sad, we're very heartbroken about it. That it was
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: so interesting how many people reached out to us since
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: that they had had the same experience. And so while
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: we were we were sad, but we weren't just completely
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: in despair, and since it seemed like it was something
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: a lot of people had gone through. But then we
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: got pregnant again unless that child, and then a months
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: later get pregnant again, and so three most carriages in
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: less than six months. Did seem like something was wrong. Um,
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: And but that was a very difficult time hellow marriage,
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: And so we decided we weren't gonna pray super specifically.
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: And I'd always people think it's crazy. I had always
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: wanted multiples, That's something I'd always desired, And so we
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: just decided we weren't going to be embarrassed God for
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: anything that we prayed for multiples, three children, and then
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: we went and saw our fertility doctor who and did
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: put me on certain medication and said, yeah, yeah, make
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: you crazy. Um it any super emotional. And we were
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: at this retreat that week and I was like, I
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: just need to not talk to because I was like
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: prying during Like I mean, it wasn't even that of
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: a story, and I was just like, oh my gosh,
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: that's the best thing I've ever heard. I was like, Ryan,
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: I'm actin crazy, like I can't. I don't need to
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: hear talking to anybody. Um. Yeah. And so we were
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: really open in us when so many people reached out
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: and said they had had similar things. But yes, when
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: people tell me they're taking clomad, I'm like, okay, nothing
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: counts right now. So even creating anything yourself says or
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: your friends, just maybe go into hanging out at home
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: for a while. But we we did. We ended up
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: conceiving triplets and it was just incredible, miraculous and um,
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: very very you know, difficult road to get there, but
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: we're very thankful for our miracle babies, which were the
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: results of praying and fertility treatments. So after your three miscarriages,
• 54:37
  Speaker 1: that is that when you started the clomad or were
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: you on it throughout the entire time. No, so our
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: doctors told them that you don't really seek medical help
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: and tell three miscarriages, but seems like a lot to
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: go through before you took out some help. But now
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: it wasn't until afterwards and that I went on clomad
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: and then some few shots that kind of helped with ovulation. Yeah,
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: I did those as well. Um, did you what did
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: you like I was talking about when I was either
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: having a mischaracter, if I had a chemical pregnancy, or
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: if I just wasn't actually getting pregnant. I just you said,
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: you know, an important thing is to really communicate with
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: your spouse. I was not doing that. I was really
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: deep down inside of myself, like trying to show my
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: emotions to anybody. Um, how how did you handle it? Yeah?
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: So the first one, Um, I really was like, Okay,
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: this is a test, this is a test of our replationships,
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: Like I just need it. I need to do practice
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: what our breach. I need to do what I know
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: I'm supposed to do. And so the first thing, I
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: feel like I was like, I'm sposed. Degree, I let
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: myself gree that was honest with Ryan. But then the
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: second one, I definitely was more discouraged afterwards, and it
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: was very tempting to withdraw and kind of be more isolated.
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: I definitely stopped going to baby shower. I had thirteen
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: pregnant friends that years, I know, like Instagram friends, like
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: real friends, and it was just like babies were everywhere.
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: And so there's been things. I mean, I'm not at
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: all would never say we did things perfectly. It was
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: a very big struggle, but there are just two things.
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: The idea that honesty creates intimacy, and so being honest
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: with Ryan, I mean I just got out of myself
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: and my friends just about what I was feeling and
• 56:28
  Speaker 1: what I need. And then also just the same we
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: say and therapy you have to feel it to heal it.
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: And so instead of yeah, I just I didn't even
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: come up with that, that was just something we say
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: all the time. And so even though it's uncomfortable to
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: be angry and it's uncomfortable to be sad, and definitely
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: like our culture isn't like, oh, good job for grieving,
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: you know, that's definitely not something celebrated, but just letting
• 56:55
  Speaker 1: yourself feel what you need to feel or else it
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: does come out in other ways, which just in the
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: wow anxiety depression. And so I didn't do that perfectly,
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: but I did challenge myself to let myself feel and
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: whatever that is without judgment. So I have a question,
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: so a lot I'm going to ask you, because you
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: are also a counselor. I have a lot of people
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: that have written in questions in regards to miscarriages. Um,
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: for somebody who maybe doesn't have a relationship with God
• 57:24
  Speaker 1: or doesn't go to church, what are some ways to heal?
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: Like somebody's written in that they've had tens ten miscarriages
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: behind them, you know, how do you not lose hope? Right?
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: And if you're from that from that background, well, and
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: everyone has a purpose and I think that regardless of
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: what your face background is, Um, there's a reason you're here.
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: And it's tempting not to always like to the next thing,
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: like I'll be happy when I get pregnant, or when
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: I get married, or when I work with teenagers a lot.
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: So when I get into that college and they're really
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: figuring out what this time is about and if if
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: the future doesn't have I'm not if the futurist heaven,
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: but if what you want, if you never hit pregnantly,
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: if you don't get married, what can you still find
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: purpose in for your life? And maybe those things will happen,
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: hopefully they do, but that doesn't negate the fact that
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: you have an incredible purpose and there is a plan
• 58:26
  Speaker 1: for your life and searching out what that is good
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: advice and really good advice. And in that same token,
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: you know, oftentimes I've had friends that have miscarried, and
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: even though I have, I still don't know the right
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: words to say, like what do you what advice do
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: you give to somebody, either a spouse or a friend
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: to say to somebody who's having a miscarriage, had to miscara,
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: you know, what is your advice on that. I do
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: not think there's a blanket state membered that I really
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: encourage people going through to tell people what they need
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: because friends and spouses do feel so scared they're going
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: to say the wrong thing, and so I don't I
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: don't know if there's a blanket state remember what to
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: say if you're a spouse or friend. But I think
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: a good principle is just remembering that that person is
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: still who they always were to For me, I'm super extroverted,
• 59:18
  Speaker 1: So my husband knew if I'm just saying I want
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: to stay at home, something's off here. And so remembering
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: that that friend of that spouse is still the same person,
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: shall has the same personality and still needs to be
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: reached out to a ministered to in accordance with the
• 59:33
  Speaker 1: person you've always known. And then how do you handle
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: it if you're pregnant and your friend is having miscarriages?
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: Because I yeah, I remember when I was struggling, I
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: would have you know, like you're saying, with baby showers
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: or any of those things. And it wasn't that I
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: wasn't happy for them, right, But I remember also being
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: like do I need to be here? And so you
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: know how now you know now I am pregnant. So
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 1: if that were to be the case for me, what
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: do you think the best way to go about it?
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: When a friend is you know, because that happened so much.
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: You often get pregnant in groups and you know, like
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: it happens and the pain is so raw and I
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 1: don't want to say the wrong and especially when you're
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: the pregnant one, you don't want to say the wrong
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: thing to the person that isn't absolutely yes, So I
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: think being honest is so important. Like my friends that
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 1: were pregnant while we were struggling, they I mean, they
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: would tell me, like, I'm pregnant. I know this may
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: be hard for you, and we're still praying for you.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 1: But I just think putting stuff out there is so
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: much better than hiding. And I found because there are
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: people I kind of obviously got pregnant with triplets, and
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: I had a friend I've been struggling with him for
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: like for years, and I mean I was going to
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: tell home, But what I've found, what I've heard and
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: experiences that people already so isolated, so then if you
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 1: don't include them, then it's just even more feeling left out.
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: And that's I mean, that's it. I can from other
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: people that they do want to be told, they do
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: want to rejoice with you, and it's that's to them.
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's hard to hear, but it's to us
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: to take care of our own emotions, not us to
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: other people. And so we have to be responsible for
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 1: doing what we need to do for ourselves. But I've
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: heard people say they they've gotten their feelings art because
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: they haven't been included in that. So I would enclos
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 1: him to tell their friends and just how they're feeling
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: and that they remember their struggle. I found a lot
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 1: of people, especially if they struggle with imfertility for years,
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: kind of get forgotten and so it's so important to
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 1: tell that when you remember and you remember their struggle.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: Thank you such good advice. And if you guys wanna
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: read Julius book, it's called Pray Big Things. It's amazing
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: and we really appreciate you taking the time to talk
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: with us today. Thank you for having me. I really
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: appreciate it. And you've got three little cutie's. I'm looking
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: at their picture right here. Thank you. All right, going
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: to take a little break. We have so many questions
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: from our listeners. I printed them all out of like
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 1: pages and pages, so I'm gonna try to get there
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: as many as possible. So we're gonna bring on Dr
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: Katherine Green. She's a board certified O B, g U,
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: I N and reproductive and trochnologist. Dr Green. Yeah, Hi, Hi,
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 1: how are you? How are you good? We're all I
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: amped up. We have so many questions oh perfect, Um,
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: do you mind if I just start rapid fire? Sure? No,
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: that's not problem at all. That sounds good. Okay great.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: First main question that a lot of people have asked
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: is what age should you freeze your eggs by? Is
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: there an age it's too late? Sure? I think that's
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 1: a really good question. At once that I get a
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 1: lot in patents that come to see me in the office. Um,
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 1: So the optimal age is really around age thirty. Um,
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 1: that women should start thinking about egg freezing, um, and
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: kind of evaluating where they're at in their life and
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: how long it may be before they plan to have kids. Um,
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 1: there isn't. Uh. As women start to get closer to forty,
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: we do see a lower response and the eggs themselves, Um,
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: I have a higher chance of not making a successful pregnancy.
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 1: So as women approached the age of forty, that's getting
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 1: kind of towards the end of the optimal window. Um.
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 1: And then usually in the lower forties is when I
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: would say she probably shouldn't shouldn't pursue that option? Wow, okay, Um?
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: And then how do people know? I mean, for example,
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: I didn't know that I was going to have fertility
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 1: issues until I started getting pregnant. Is there a way
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 1: to find that out prior? I mean I I was
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: only eight when I think nine when I first off
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: the pill and started trying to get pregnant. UM. Is
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 1: there a way to find out in advance? So let's
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 1: say you're twenty eight year years old and you're thinking,
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: I'm nowhere near settling down and I'm not even anywhere
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 1: near wanting to freeze my eggs, but I am curious
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: about my fertility. Is that a possibility? Can you even
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 1: check that? Can you find out? Yeah? I think the
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: certain things that may point to their being UM an
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 1: issue with fertility UM some women know already that maybe
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 1: they had a surgery or you know, a flobbian tubermoved
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 1: those things UM obviously would cause an issue with attempting pregnancy. UM.
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: If there's heavy uterine bleeding UM or known UM issues
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 1: with the uterus, which as like fibroids or polyps, which
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: are benign growth in the uterus UM. What about endometriosis
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: and demetriosis is very common and can impact fertility as well.
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 1: So sciences of that that women might notice are painful periods.
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 1: Pain with inner corpse sometimes came with bell movements. UM.
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 1: Those are kind of the big questions that we ask
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: and may suggest endometriosist um. Additionally, on ultrasound we may
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: see signs which was a big O variant could suggest endometriosis.
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: Is there what about STDs UM another good question? So
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 1: a s TVs UM specifically the ones that caused pelvic
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 1: inflammatory disease like GONERI and are the most common ones.
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 1: UM can impair the fulopian tubes, So if a woman
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: does have a history of that, it's worthwhile mentioning that
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 1: to her joan the fertility doctors so they can saluate
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 1: if the flobian okay. And then how long would you
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: recommend to somebody to be off birth control before they
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: try to get pregnant. We as a field used to
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 1: think that women had to come off a couple of
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 1: months before attempting pregnancy. UM, we really don't see that
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 1: there needs to be that washout period. So I say,
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 1: if you're thinking you want to start attempts next month,
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 1: you can go ahead and just stop them right before
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 1: the month you want to conceive, and then attempt right
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 1: away with your next period. And do you think there's
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 1: like the best birth control you know like, if you
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 1: know you're gonna eventually want to have kids, should you
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: get should you be on the pill or should you
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: be on I don't know the ring or the I
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 1: don't know all the other ones I don't know, but
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 1: you Yeah, no, there's definitely a lot of options out there.
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 1: I think at the end of the day. Um, it
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: all comes down to patient preference. So your chances of
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 1: fertility after being on the pill or having an iu D,
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 1: for example, are not significantly different. Um. Basically, I would
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 1: choose the birth control that makes the most sense to
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 1: you in your lifestyle. So if someone women don't want
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 1: to think about having to take a pill every day,
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 1: so and that scenario and iu D may make sense.
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 1: But other women don't like the idea of having something
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: in their body, you know, in which case the pill
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 1: may be better. So, UM, it's really what works best
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: for her. Okay, now we're going to switch gears a
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 1: little bit. I need to I personally need to know.
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: And there was actually another guest on here that had
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: the same reaction. Why does chlomad make us crazy? And
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: what does it actually do? I need all the details. Sure, Um,
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 1: so Colona is a medication. Um, as it sounds like.
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 1: You know that you if you take as a pill,
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 1: usually for a couple of days at the beginning of
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 1: a cycle, and it can help you form a follic
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 1: color more than one follicle to either time intercourse, I
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 1: do intermination. The way that chlomad works is it sort
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: of tricks your brain into thinking that there's no estrogen
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 1: around and um. As a result, your brain kind of
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 1: um kick start and um and stimulates the ovaries to
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 1: produce follicles. So when there's no your brain thinks there's
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 1: no estrogen around, then it will work harder to make
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 1: the ovaries grow a follow color too. Um. So what
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 1: is happening is in response to the clomad um. Since
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 1: your brain thinks there's no astros in there, you can
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 1: sometimes have symptoms of low estrogen. So that's what women
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 1: often go through when the rage going through menopause. Correctly, yeah, exactly.
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 1: So like mood changes, some conversations, complaine of headaches or
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 1: vaginal dryness, that can all be a result of the
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 1: way that the medicine works. Okay, and then also something
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 1: that my doctor said that I had And I know
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 1: this sounds crazy, but you kind I kind of like
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 1: started blacking out things that were happening to me because
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 1: or not to me, but things that were happening with
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 1: my body because I didn't want to know because then
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 1: I would start researching it. But he said, during you know,
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 1: when some of my ivfs were not working, he said
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 1: that I had a killer cell that refers to like
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 1: natural killer cells is the cell type in our body
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 1: as part of the immune system. UM. And there are
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 1: some people in the fertility world that believe that immunologic
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 1: causes UM may impact pregnancy rate. So if your immune
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 1: system is kind of harder or an overdrive that may
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 1: impair implantation or pregnancy is success. UM. We there's there's
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 1: data to support both, yes, and know that it matters.
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 1: So I think depending on who you talk to, you
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 1: could a different answer. Okay, And then what is pc
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 1: O S? Yeah, So pos PCOS stands for polycystic ovary
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 1: syndrome UM. It's a condition where women have irregular menstrual cycles.
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 1: UM is the most common symptom of it. They these
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 1: women form multiple small um fists in the ovaries and
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 1: they're not actually ovariant sist. They're really follicles in the
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 1: ovaray that haven't gone away, and so what we'll see
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 1: in these women is the typical presentation is irregular menstrual
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 1: cycles ovariant um fists or those small follicles in the ovaries,
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 1: and then often elevated levels of male hormone such as testosterone.
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: And what this condition does is it UM prevents them
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 1: from having normal ovulation every month, and so if they're
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 1: not ovulating on a regular interval, stat equates to obviously
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 1: difficulty and conceiving, especially if you're trying to time attempts appropriately.
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 1: And if you have one of these medical conditions, will
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 1: IVF or any of these fertility treatments be covered by insurance? UM?
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 1: I wish it was covered more often than it is. UM.
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 1: It depends on what what and the patients with if
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 1: you have coverage. So we are seeing more employers offer
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 1: this as a benefit UM and WET at my facility
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 1: at r m A definitely work with insurance that patients
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 1: have it UM, but I right now there's still a
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 1: lot of patients that are unfortunately paying out of pocket. Wow.
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 1: And what what is the difference between a chemical pregnancy
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 1: and a topic pregnancy? UM? So, a chemical pregnancy is
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 1: where we just see evidence at the patient's pregnant on
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 1: her blood work, but we don't see anything on ultrasound,
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 1: either in the uterus or anywhere else. UM, And a
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 1: topic pregnancy is where she's definitely pregnant, we see it
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 1: on blood work, but when we do the ultrasound, you
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 1: can see that the pregnancy actually implanted outside of the uterus.
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 1: So the most commonplace would be somewhere along the fallopian tube. UM,
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 1: but we often, not often, I'm sorry, we can also
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 1: see it in the ovary. How common are those to
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 1: happen and are they as common as as miscarriages? UM?
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 1: Definitely not as common as miscarriages, so UM miscarriages. We
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 1: knows that about thirty percent of UM recognized pregnancy result
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 1: in miscarriage. So UM it's miscarriage is so common, and
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 1: I think women that go through that may not realize
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 1: it because if it's not something people often talk about,
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 1: but it is incredibly common. A topic pregnancy, the chance
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 1: of that is much lower. UM. I don't have a
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 1: definitive percent, but it's in the single digit so it's
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 1: much less common than a miscarriage. So if you're not
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 1: trying to get pregnant, you don't actually know that you're pregnant,
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 1: how would you know that you're having a miscarriage. The
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 1: most common sign would be U vaginal bleeding. So if
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 1: you're heavy, if you know you're pregnant based on a
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 1: home pregnancy test, then you haven't been able to get
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 1: into see your doctor yet. If you're having a vaginal bleeding,
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 1: that's something that should be should be looked at either
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 1: by your physician or if it's heavy bleeding, you know,
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 1: seeking more immediate care. Uh. Sometimes women will have like
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 1: heavy menstrual type cramping as well. What if somebody doesn't
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 1: go to the doctor, Um, if they're kind of just
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 1: waiting it out at home to see what happens. I mean,
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 1: I've known someone that doesn't know if they were actually pregnant,
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 1: didn't actually take a pregnancy test, and they just started having,
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 1: you know a lot of bleeding, and then they were like,
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 1: you know what, I don't really want to know if
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 1: I had one, Oh I see, um, well in less
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 1: nor I mean, she she made never actually know if
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 1: she doesn't go in to see somebody, if she had
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 1: what a lot of women may have what they think
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 1: is just a late period that's heavier than usual that
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 1: you know, in theory could have been a lost So
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 1: if she didn't see a doctor in that time period. Um,
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 1: sometimes with the heavier bleeding, you might it might look different,
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 1: or um, you might feel heavier cramps. Um. So those
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 1: may all be suggestive of that, but it's hard to
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 1: know without either blood test or ultrasound. And then I
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 1: just have another question that people have been asking me,
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 1: and I don't actually even know the answer, even though
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 1: I've asked my doctor. I always I always forget to
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 1: follow up. But I my first pregnancy, I was in
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 1: some aid in my second was IVF, and then third
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 1: just happened naturally. I wasn't trying. I didn't even realize
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 1: that I was pregnant because even during the first eight
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 1: weeks before I became pregnant, I was still spotting because
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 1: I've never really had like a perfectly regular period. Okay,
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 1: but why does that happen? And how does that happen
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 1: that you need all of these you know, years and
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 1: years of things and then all of a sudden you
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 1: just get pregnant on your own. Right. Um. Congratulations by
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 1: the way, Yeah, that that is something that we hear
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 1: um from patients sometimes and obviously are UM very happy
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 1: when that that does happen if patients were trying for
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 1: another child, But there there isn't really anything about the
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 1: treatment per se that would make you more fertile afterwards. UM.
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 1: I personally think it's a combination of UM kind of
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 1: a decrease in UH stressed UH autent patients seem like
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 1: they're in a better place like mentally or most really
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 1: and kind of just relax a little bit more. And
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 1: I do think that that can impact things UM and
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 1: once they kind of get a little bit more level
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 1: with regards to that, UM are surprised and able to conceive.
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 1: And just in closing my form, my last question before
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 1: I have to wrap it up, what advice would you
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 1: give to somebody who's struggling. I think it's just the big,
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 1: big message would be keep holding out hope UM, and
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 1: you're not alone. So there's a lot of women that
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 1: experience difficulty and conceiving UM, and it's such a personal
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 1: thing that not everyone will be talking about it, so
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 1: it can be an isolating experience. And I do want
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 1: patience to know that UM, there are ways that we
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 1: can help you and to maintain a positive outlook on
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 1: it and note that, um, you're not alone in experiencing this,
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 1: and there's paths you can take to build your family
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 1: and get the outcome that you're looking for. Thank you
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 1: so much for your time. We really appreciate it. Thank
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 1: you so much. It was a pleasure speaking with you.
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 1: Bye bye. So now we finished up with Katherine Green.
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 1: We're almost out of time. But I could tell Chuck,
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 1: our engineer keeps like giving me a look, like what's
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 1: going on? What do you need? Um? I hadn't, she questioned.
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 1: Happened to me last week? My ex girlfriend hit me
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 1: up and proposed wanting to have a child with me
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 1: out of the blue. Do you like her? M hm? Hold, okay,
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 1: does she want your sperm or she wants you guys
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 1: to go like she wants to have a child. Okay,
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 1: But I have a lot of question. Did you ask?
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 1: Does that mean like are we are we like going
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 1: to hook up or like that's the first question? Okay,
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 1: So like take you got in two minutes? You got
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 1: to tell us, all right, my fel we've been hooking
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 1: up on and off for the past seven years. Well
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 1: that's on you then, and I've been like literally pushing
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 1: away like like, go away, go away, go away, fall
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 1: in love, find somebody you fall in love with who
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 1: loves you. You know what I can, I can already
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 1: tell you something. But having sex with her then well no, seriously, seriously,
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 1: I I have been away for a long period of time.
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 1: How long? Probably about over a year? Okay, all right,
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 1: that's fair. But now she wants to have a baby
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 1: with you. What do you guys think Chuck should do?
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 1: Please write in and let us know. I mean, I
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 1: have my thoughts, but we know I'm gonna know it all,
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 1: so I'm gonna hold it till next week. Thanks for listening.
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 1: Subscribe to any radio or wherever you listen to podcast