Latest / Full Spectrum Cycling / Chewey’s Salon Chair #8 Pre Single Speed USA 2021

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Chewey’s Salon Chair #8 Pre Single Speed USA 2021 · Full Spectrum Cycling

• 0:00
  [rock music] Oh yeah!
• 0:26
  [rock music] Welcome to Chuy's Salon Chair Number Eight, SingleSpeed USA: Maine Edition, on the Full Spectrum Cycling Network, sponsored by Everyday Cycles. [laughs] That was fucking awesome. That was, yep.
• 0:40
  And the best part is, is that we'll never be that professional ever again unless we get Jenny down here all the time. [laughs] Maybe.
• 0:45
  So, so tonight, um, today, this afternoon, evening, whatever the hell it is, uh- Who knows. We started early. It's Sunday fun day... It, it is, and, uh, I have with me- [clears throat]... I have Spinner and Jenny.
• 0:54
  And we don't go by last names out here, so you're, you'll- That's all you get... you remain anonymous as long as you want to. Yeah.
• 1:00
  Um, we are going to eventually check in with Seth from SingleSpeed USA, and we're going to do, uh... See what's up with those guys out there, and hopefully survive a couple weeks.
• 1:14
  [laughs] That race, that race is August 21st. Um- Race... in, in Carrabassett Valley- Yeah... Maine, wherever the hell that is. Yeah, it's Carrabassett Valley. It's on Sugarloaf Mountain. Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:28
  Doing about 20 miles of racing. Um, so- You'll be able to see Canada from the top...
• 1:32
  So before we get into that, um, uh, I'll text him in just a second here so we can call in, but in the meantime, um, we are in Decorah, Iowa, at Spinner's new house.
• 1:42
  Um, Jenny came down here to buy her bottles of, uh- Morning Delight... To- yes, Toppling Goliath morning, and she's got a better radio voice than the rest of us all put together.
• 1:51
  [laughs] So she's, as long as I can get her to be permanent, she's in here forever. [laughs] Which in other words- I don't know if that's a good thing... No, I just, as long as we buy booze, she'll be here.
• 1:58
  That's the best thing. I, I think- You gotta talk to me about these decisions before- [laughs]... before you start just bringing people in as permanent. Uh, right. I guess this is my- No...
• 2:06
  this is my first, uh- Well, you're back in town. You were in Wisconsin before, so I, I tied in with Brad Birgy, who also has a fantastic radio voice. Oh.
• 2:13
  And, and if I tie this in correctly, I'll just sit here and run this board, and y'all do all the talking- [laughs]... 'cause I suck. So, um- [laughs] Again, take over, you two. Uh, I'm gonna call... What do you mean?
• 2:27
  Don't give me that look. [laughs] That's, well... Yeah, I don't know if a- everybody on the radio knows, so, like, I realized early on that all my vacations were in Wisconsin.
• 2:35
  And it's 'cause that entire state is about drinking outside and doing something. You're either on a boat or on a bike with a beer. And, um,
• 2:43
  Decorah is a special place, and there's a lot of trails here, the Toppling Goliath Brewery, best in the world. I mean, so Jenny- Definitely the best in the west... best, okay, yeah. They've won worldwide awards. Mm-hmm.
• 2:57
  But so you bought a couple bottles of beer today- Correct... through a lottery. Yes. How much did you pay per bottle of beer? $40 per bottle. $40 for a 32-ounce bottle? Yeah, like 750. Okay, which is a milliliter?
• 3:11
  Mm-hmm. It's America. Yep. You communist. [laughs] Well, we're not in the UK. [laughs] No, so- Unless we have Canadian fans here... I don't know. Isn't our, our liters metric? I have no idea. [laughs] But, um,
• 3:22
  yeah, so people come here to buy expensive beer. We have two world-renowned breweries. We have some of the best mountain biking in the Midwest, and it's kinda under the, under the radar.
• 3:33
  But a nice thing about this town is that you can, in a town of 8,000 people, you can ride to the bike trails from your house. And Chuy, you've been coming down here for years. Let me just... Oops. Yeah.
• 3:46
  I'll just plug myself in. You gotta turn your... [laughs] I'm trying to make a call too. I'm, I'm not good at multitasking. [laughs] I see that. Yeah, you look like...
• 3:53
  Can you chew gun, um, gum and drive at the same time? This looks tough. Drive? [laughs] Or ride a bike. I can, I can... Well, after last weekend, that's questionable- No... also, right? Yeah. Very questionable.
• 4:03
  I don't know if you can drink and ride a bike. [laughs] There were some crashes right out the door. [laughs] You calling Seth? Yeah. So Seth, uh- Uh-... is Gigantic Hawk Racing.
• 4:15
  I don't know exactly what that is, but Seth won the hosting rights, um, playing butt darts in Austin, Texas. [laughs] He's gonna love to hear that. But, uh, yeah, the tournament in Austin, Texas two years ago,
• 4:32
  um, which we had a live stream, uh, play-by-play in the bar. Here you go. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm literally explaining to, uh, Seth what we're gonna be doing, so- Explain when he calls in. Did you hear that? Yeah. No- Yeah.
• 4:47
  [laughs]... yeah, yeah, and does that not sound the greatest on, on a headset? Definitely. It's, like, so much better. It's better than hearing, "Bush." [laughs] Bush Apple? Here you go. [laughs] That's not good either.
• 4:59
  No. Okay. Hang on, hang on. Seth? Hey, can you hear me? Yes. There you go. Can you hear me all right? Okay, so we're, we're sort of crappy at this, but at least that was the best segue I've ever done in my life.
• 5:10
  [laughs] Um, so- You worked really hard at it. [laughs] Yeah, I did. I'm like, "Ah, what do I do?" Okay, so Seth is, uh, the... I don't, I don't even know what his last name is, and I don't care.
• 5:19
  Um- His last name is Gigantic Hawk. Yeah, nobody cares. Gigantic Hawk. [laughs] Oh, is that his- That's right. [laughs] Well, hi. [laughs] Hello. Hawk, Jenny. [laughs] You said Hawk. I'm a bitch.
• 5:32
  [laughs] So Seth is in charge of SingleSpeed USA in Maine this year. Uh, it's a year off because of COVID. Um, he and I talked yesterday. He scared the fuck out of me.
• 5:45
  He goes, "Hey, I'll talk to you in a minute, but I'm at the doctor's." And I'm like, "Oh, my God, no." But he has a cold. Not COVID. Yeah, my, my COVID test came back negative. Nice. Good. So- High five...
• 5:56
  but I've been sick for, like, two weeks, so it sucks. Ugh. Oh, that's terrible. Okay, so, um- Yeah. So y- y- you made the tough choice to cancel the race last year, or postpone the race last year, 'cause- Yep...
• 6:08
  Maine didn't allow parties bigger than 50 people, and then I guess- Correct... the, and the single speed crowd would be the last people you want coming to your state, [laughs] right? That's right.
• 6:18
  If you're gonna have an event like that. So, um- Yeah, lots of fluid swapping. Mm. Not, not good. Yeah. So yeah, I'm glad that it's back on, and, um, yeah, tell us kinda what you got planned. All right.
• 6:31
  So, uh, same venue, still at Carrabassett, which is Sugar Loaf. Um, we've... Things have kind of been fluid as we go here.
• 6:42
  Um, last year we kind of hit the ground running, we were like really into it, and then COVID put the brakes on everything, and then, you know, crap just kind of all fell apart.
• 6:52
  Um, so we've been kinda just feeling it out as things open up and whatever. So, um, we lost our initial camping area. Uh, luckily Mountain View Campground down the street stepped up.
• 7:04
  Um, it's a smaller area, so we're just gonna pack everybody in to wherever any location exists that you can set up a tent or whatever, and we will probably shuttle people the few miles down the street to the actual venue for the, the event, um, 'cause it's on a highway.
• 7:24
  Uh-oh. And even though the highway isn't really a super highway or anything like that, and it goes to Canada, and since the border's closed it's not that busy, just to, you know, be safe we probably do some shuttling.
• 7:38
  Um, it's probably like five miles. Okay. Um, but uh- We did something similar in Wisconsin for that same thing. It was- Well, and, and in, and in Scottsdale we did too. We loaded everybody into a...
• 7:49
  So can we do that again? Can we load everybody into a, uh, a moving van- [laughs] I remember that. No... with a keg of beer and drive everybody over there?
• 7:56
  It was a 28-foot U-Haul truck, and that- [laughs] You, you jumped in the back with your bicycle. [laughs] Yeah. And you hung out for- And got dumped off at the trail start. [laughs] Yeah.
• 8:04
  We've got like I think a trailer, and like I think it's... I don't know if it's a mini school bus or something.
• 8:09
  Plus, you know, I'm gonna set my, my rig up here to like carry eight bikes, and like we'll get everybody back and forth. And, and the super daring people that end up wandering onto the road, you know, so be it.
• 8:21
  Um, and then, you know, we'll kick off the event on Saturday. Um, you know, as usual, nobody knows where they're gonna go until you get there,
• 8:29
  and it's gonna involve a lot of climbing, a bunch of descending, a bunch of drinking. Um- Uh, you do realize I'm on a clunker Yeah.
• 8:39
  That's the whole- [laughs] That was the whole reason for the two categories that I set up, like- Yes, dude... so. Such a dick. I think I'm in the clunker category too- Yeah... actually. Yeah. Yeah.
• 8:46
  I wanted you guys to know that, you know, if, if other people own clunkers, you're not alone. There's no difference. You're all doing the same crap, but if, uh... You're not alone.
• 8:56
  That's, that's, you know- [laughs] There's camaraderie there. You're not in the lead, and you're not alone. [laughs] Yeah. [laughs] Dying together is not camaraderie. That's ridiculous.
• 9:04
  [laughs] We won't die if we're all in the same place. We won't, we'll die if there's no beer, but there'll be beer. Was it, was it- There will never be no beer... you actually, what did, what did Charlie Hobbs say?
• 9:10
  It was, uh, "Sometimes you have to leave your friends to die in the shrubbery." [laughs] Charlie, Charlie Cohen from the UK? Yeah. Like nothing? No. God, no.
• 9:19
  He's, he's even more- It's as close as this race is gonna get to England. [laughs] Yeah. Yeah, and so we, and so we won't ridicule him for not coming because it's on his side of the, uh, of the ocean. Yeah.
• 9:30
  He still, he still calls us the colonies, but yeah. Yeah. [laughs] Yeah. That's, it's fantastic. Anyway- Yeah... um, so Saturday's event's pretty much set. Um- Yep...
• 9:40
  we, we gotta bail early on Sunday, but there's probably gonna be some shenanigans going on afterwards.
• 9:45
  Um, what do you have planned for, um, this is gonna carry on after you leave us, uh, for competition for hosting next year? So we will, uh, probably... It depends on how many people are gonna actually compete.
• 9:59
  Right now there's only one person that's actually signed up. I know some other people have expressed interest. We'll see how many people are actually there to see how many events we actually need. Okay.
• 10:09
  I'm planning on two events. Uh, we'll do one at the actual place where the, the race will take a, take hold, um, to kind of, you know, cut down the competition. Yeah. You gotta set the tone. Also we'll do the... Right.
• 10:22
  We'll do the, um, the derby or whatever there too for championship stuff.
• 10:28
  And then when we get back to the campground, because, uh, we'll probably just keep everybody at the campground and have a big after party there as opposed to going out to bars and stuff, um,
• 10:39
  uh, just to kind of keep people out of the public and, and from spreading diseases and stuff around. [laughs] Yeah. Ju- just so you know, Jenny's not coming now because the bars are too far away. Yeah, that's not cool.
• 10:51
  Yeah, the bars are too far. The bars are actually really close, it's just... And you can go to them on your own. I just hate to be that guy that like creates the epicenter, you know? Like I don't wanna be- Oh...
• 11:02
  the one that's like- No... "Oh, yeah. Hey, you know that guy Seth, he had that race last year and, you know- No, no, fear not-... 50 people came down"... fear not, DJ will be there. Yeah.
• 11:09
  So if he doesn't find it, I probably will, so you don't have to worry about that part of it. We'll- [laughs]... we'll, we'll find the place that, that we all should hang out at.
• 11:16
  The, the single speed Delta variant- Oh, yeah... yeah, we're gonna... [laughs] The bar that least wants us to be there will be the bar that we most go to. Yeah. I was fine with diseases- Yeah...
• 11:24
  but you lost me at no bars. Sorry. [laughs] Anyways. [laughs] But yeah, we'll have the last, the last event there to like, you know, crown the new state that's gonna take it on. And yeah.
• 11:39
  So may I, may I ask who you do have already? Oh, it, it's JP. He's coming with us. He's from Wisconsin, and I think that- It's not going to fucking Wisconsin even we have to kill him. That's not happening.
• 11:48
  [laughs] No, I think that he signed up. He got the Key West sticker. He's, he was the- Oh.
• 11:54
  So we've been getting some flack about the Key West thing, so, um, we're gonna talk to Murray shortly after we hang up with you Um, we're debating, so Spin and I both live in Decorah, and- Er- Jenny lives close enough that she's gonna come down and bartend...
• 12:07
  well, Iowa. It's Iowa. It's Iowa. We gotta call it a state here, yeah... and, and she doesn't realize it, but we just hired her as a bartender- Yeah... down here. So we have- [laughs]...
• 12:13
  we're debating about running it in a town that we live in, but we're not sure the town we live in- Yeah... will accept us. Well, yeah, we have to leave here- They're-... after everybody leaves.
• 12:20
  [laughs] They struggle, they struggle with us as it is. We'll just claim sovereignty. Well, the same thing that- Well, yeah...
• 12:24
  Seth is talking about, where it's like, yeah, he doesn't wanna be, yeah, he, he doesn't wanna be the guy that brought all the yahoos to town and got everybody sick. So it's kinda- Exactly... yeah.
• 12:33
  But there's also like, there's gonna be firecrackers in a bar- [laughs]... if there is a bar. I'm not even worried about CO- COVID is the least thing to worry about in this race.
• 12:41
  [laughs] It's the shit that goes on besides that that's scary. For the racers. Oh, yeah. But yes. [laughs] Yeah.
• 12:46
  Well, I mean- So I will say this, uh, an interesting fact about Maine, Maine has a lot of unorganized townships. Okay. Which means that they have no rules, no regulations, no whatever. The campground is in one of those.
• 12:58
  Okay. [gasps] Um, and the owner of the campground's like, "Hey, you guys got the whole place to yourselves. Do whatever you like, just don't burn down my motel." I- I already love this-... figure Scout's promise.
• 13:08
  [laughs] I already love this guy. [laughs] I already love this guy. I remember Wisconsin like too, it's like, is it actually a village? We have village and townships, actually villages that don't have a, uh, mayor.
• 13:17
  Is, is that kinda what Maine is like? There's, there's nobody there. There's, the, basically the state runs it. Okay. Um- It's Wisconsin 2.0... that's it. And like you blink and it's gone.
• 13:24
  Well, I, I, that to me sounds like, were you, did you go to New York? Did you go to, to, um, Port Jervis? Yep. So Port Jervis is basically the same thing. They, they abandoned the campground.
• 13:35
  DJ and the, and his buddies fixed it back up, and now it's- Mm-hmm... and now it's actually up and running again as a campground. Okay. Yeah.
• 13:40
  So they, they basically brought it back to life just by a bunch of drunk fucking idiots going up there and riding bicycles, which is amazing. So i- is Cara- That is amazing...
• 13:48
  is Carrabassett Valley, is that like a, in the wintertime, is it a big ski hill, and that's what keeps it going?
• 13:53
  Is that what- Yeah, Carrabassett Valley itself, which is a town that's next to the campground town, uh, that's its own entity. That's very much a happening place, like lots of money, that kind of thing,
• 14:06
  um, in the wintertime. The summer, you know, it's pretty sparse. Everything closes up and everything, and they're, they're really trying to bring the mountain bike thing.
• 14:13
  So that's kinda what we started doing this, or this idea a couple years ago in 2019 in Texas. Like, we'll bring it to Carrabassett. It will help push this whole mountain bike thing. Mm.
• 14:23
  And this year, like, has been a big change for them. They're actually bringing like the Eastern Cup, uh, Enduro Series to the mountain. They're putting in all sorts of- Okay... trails and everything.
• 14:32
  So like, it's gonna be a... They got a lot of stuff coming for them in the next couple years, so- Okay... um, this, this event's one of them.
• 14:39
  They, I reached out to the mountain, and they were adamant that they wanted it. I'm like, "You do understand what's gonna happen?" And like, "We don't care. We want every bit of it."
• 14:48
  [laughs] That's the b- that's the best part, 'cause everybody says that. Then when they see us, they go, "Oh, fuck." [laughs] That being said- [laughs] That being said, after we leave, I don't...
• 14:58
  I, I can't think of one place we've ever been in the United States... Oh, wait. Bend, Oregon possibly doesn't want us back. [laughs] But everybody else, uh, and Napa Valley doesn't want us back. Michigan.
• 15:08
  Michigan is not- There's places, there's places on the West Coast that don't want us back. But everybody else is like, "You guys can come back here and ride anytime." Not Copper Harbor. Yeah.
• 15:15
  Copper Harbor called it a riot because people would drink the brewery out of beer, and then they were drinking on the roof. They had one fucking cop that drove 75 minutes to get there, and him and I sat at- [laughs]...
• 15:24
  the end of the street and shot the shit. And he goes, "You guys got that?" I go, "Yeah, that's what we do every year." He goes, "Okay, see you later." And he left. He didn't give a shit.
• 15:31
  [laughs] So yeah, we're gonna think about costumes for the race, and I'm, I'm just wondering, like, is there any laws against, uh, impersonating a cop if you're dressed as a Mountie?
• 15:40
  [laughs] Well, if you're dressed as a Mountie- Yeah... you're probably fine. [laughs] Canadian border's closed. Nobody's coming. Okay. 'Cause yeah, we're close to the border.
• 15:50
  Are, are you- How far is this place from the border? Wait, are you gonna modify your, your Viking outfit to look like a fucking m- cop outfit? I think I look, I look like a Viking all the time.
• 15:58
  I want, I want, I, I want it to be a costume. I get it. Yeah. I think everyone wants to know is there Speedos involved? Um- Well-... there's nudity. I don't know... there, yeah, there's nudity.
• 16:08
  There's usually, there's usually some tighty whities involved. Yeah. Well, Seth, were you the guy, did you drop the quarters in the butt dart tournament? Was that you? Oh, yeah, all the quarters. Yeah.
• 16:18
  [laughs] Did you have any teammates? I did. I did, but, um- Okay... I'm the one that carried the team. [laughs] So- Literally. [laughs] Just- [laughs]
• 16:27
  And just so you know, Wednesday night I went and watched Jenny and her friends play softball. And somebody else brought this up, and this was a point- Mm-hmm...
• 16:36
  not only a point of discussion, it turned into a tournament. Mm-hmm. So, so again, it was, um, what, how many coins did she do? She did six bucks worth. Six bucks worth, and she got 550 in the cup. [laughs] Wow. Yeah.
• 16:49
  Wow. So, so if this is what we're doing, I'm dragging your ass out there to help us. [laughs] 'Cause we will win. There is, there is, there is no quarter horses this time around. Thank God. Damn it. Thank God.
• 16:59
  [laughs] I don't wanna have to pick the coins up off the ground. Yeah. And I don't think people really wanna see that. That, yeah, yeah. Oh, yes. I didn't wanna do it either. No, you and I and Hollywood did play-by-play.
• 17:09
  I know we did a play-by-play. I wasn't happy about it. And Gomez... No, Gomez hated it. Hey, it's literally a dirty job somebody had to do. [laughs] It might depend on the ass. It was all good sport.
• 17:18
  Well, it was all guy... There was only one girl ass in the whole thing. Well- See? So-... was it a good ass? 'Cause that can make it or break it. Mm. [laughs] I can't remember.
• 17:27
  I remember Hollywood kept saying anal butt darts. I'm like, "Don't put anal in there." Yeah, don't. No, no, no, no, no. There's no penetration. [laughs] I will say too that nobody told us to not take our pants off.
• 17:36
  [laughs] Yes, which we regretted. That came out in the podcast after the fact. We regretted it. That nobody told us beforehand. Yeah. That was a regret. You just need tight pants, babe. Yeah. Yep.
• 17:45
  No, there was guys that took their pants off. They had to- Pantless is much better, yes... we took our pants off. Yeah. We're professionals. [laughs] And- Anything to win...
• 17:52
  and wait, and now wasn't there controversy at the start, um, at the, uh- Oh, the butt darts or the gun shooting? No, no, no, the gun shooting. Oh, that's when Kansas City hit their own guy in the head with a gun.
• 18:03
  That's what it was. Yeah. I was thinking it was you guys. Yeah. It was Kansas City took their own guy out. That's right. Yeah. Right. Oh. Yeah. No, but it was a, yeah, Austin was a great time. I'm glad you guys won.
• 18:13
  Like, this is the typical SingleSpeed thing where, you know, I don't know if I would ever go to Maine as a destination to ride, um, unless SingleSpeed USA went there. So I'm excited that you have it.
• 18:23
  I'm looking forward to it. I'm happy to have you guys here. Yeah. So we are driving out. Um, we'll talk to you when we get out there, obviously. Um, so- We'll be safe... save, save us- Friday, your evening.
• 18:35
  Yeah, save us a spot. We're bringing a camper. Is that okay? Yeah. Is it, like, not a trailer but an actual camper? Oh no, it's a trailer. It's a short trailer. Oh. Yeah. We'll, we'll squeeze you into wherever. Okay.
• 18:48
  Um- But- It's basically like we're on Friday, people that show up Friday, we're just gonna start packing them into the lot and see what happens.
• 18:55
  Um, we're gonna do like a, an early ride Friday down the street at another event or another place I should say called Freeman Ridge. Um, just kinda I think it's gonna be maybe 11:00 o'clock in the morning.
• 19:08
  It's like a, a private bike park, and you know, it's like 10 bucks to get in. We're gonna cover that cost, so- Oh, nice...
• 19:15
  if you guys show up for the ride, just, you know, tell them you're with SingleSpeed USA or with Gigantic Hawk and they'll just gonna, you know, get, reach out to me after the fact. Okay.
• 19:24
  And we'll try to get a bunch of people out to ride that. We'll get you guys up to the campground, maybe some burritos and beers in between that or whatever, and, uh, yeah, it'll be a good time.
• 19:34
  Jenny's- You, you could really just- Jenny, Jenny's coming now just because of the way you say Giant Hawk. No, Gigantic Hawk. Gigantic Hawk. When you say it fast- Yeah... things get exciting.
• 19:44
  She's, she's- So can you tell us what is Gigantic Hawk? [laughs] She, she, right now she's so excited we can't even explain to you how she is. She's gonna have to- No, no. What is Gigantic Hawk? It's a mouthful.
• 19:55
  Um- [laughs] It is. [laughs] Yeah, it's our, it's our, like, little team that we have in New England here.
• 20:03
  We started off doing a bunch of races and stuff and some charity rides, and now we've all just kind of gotten older and we just don't care anymore.
• 20:10
  Um, so we show up to a couple events a year and basically just try to get the, whoever's doing the announcements to say our name, and, uh- That won't be hard... you know. [laughs] Nope. But I'm looking. It will be.
• 20:23
  Yeah, I didn't, I didn't get it- Well, we get a-... till you started laughing. I didn't get it. [laughs] And, and the best part is as soon as she started laughing, you got it. Yes. [laughs] Yes, I did. All right.
• 20:35
  Hey, thanks, Seth. Um- Hey, no problem... we, we will talk to you in a couple weeks if not before if I come up with any other stupid questions, I'll call. You gotta, you gotta let him close it out.
• 20:43
  Do, do you have anything else you want to tell us or anybody else- No... who's coming out with SingleSpeeds? Nothing here. Just, you know, hopefully, uh, looking forward to everybody coming up, having a great time.
• 20:54
  It is gonna be, you know, one of those things where, like, like you said earlier, nobody comes to Maine to ride, right? So- Yeah... you're gonna get- Did you cap out-... all sorts of new stuff... did you cap out at 150?
• 21:04
  Rockets, roots, everything. Did you cap out at 150? Cap out? Did I? Yeah. Yeah. What's the total registration? It was at a hundred a while ago. We, we are at 111 right now. Cool. Yeah. Like, that's good- Yeah...
• 21:17
  'cause that'll give, that'll give room for the idiots that just show up to be able to get in. That's nice. And then last question, what is the local beer out there? [gasps] Good one.
• 21:26
  Uh, Maine is, like, one of the biggest states for, like, craft brews. Okay. So there's everything here. Um, but if you want cheap, like, got Moosehead Lager, that's the big one.
• 21:37
  Moosehead, that would be, like, the High Life or the PBR of the- Yeah. Okay. Do, do you have any sponsors for beers? We are hitting up stuff. I got the next two weeks off to kind of, like, tie up all the loose ends here.
• 21:50
  Um, so I'm gonna be grabbing a bunch of stuff from locals and bringing whatever I can get. Can I ask you a question? Yes. Spinner and I have done this for, like, a gazillion years. I get not everybody else has.
• 22:00
  We've never needed two weeks off before a race to put on a race. Now, granted, ours aren't as good probably as what you're gonna do.
• 22:06
  [laughs] But explain to me what you're gonna be doing for the next two weeks other than getting drunk and having fun. We, we do. We drink and ride, drink and ride, drink and ride.
• 22:14
  I, I happen to have a job that I get a lot of time off. Nice. So I had to take some time no matter what. I was like, "Screw it, I'm just gonna take two weeks and do what I have to do," so. Okay. Cool.
• 22:27
  Like I said, it's- It's, it's, it's, it's- It's a vacation for me as well as setting up the race. [laughs] Oh, this is good.
• 22:31
  As long as you don't get stressed out because some of the ones that we've done here, you get stressed out a little bit, and then, like, Saturday night everything just as everything goes off, it's a load off your back, and you're like every- everybody's having fun, so.
• 22:44
  Oh, no, no. There's no stress here. I know it's gonna be whatever it is, and then Friday happens, and then Saturday's the event. Yeah. Shit goes great or it doesn't, it doesn't really matter.
• 22:54
  [laughs] You're all leaving on Sunday. [laughs] And I don't have to see you fuckers for a year, so. [laughs] Exactly. That's awesome. So yeah, like I said, looking forward to it.
• 23:04
  Can't wait to get out there, uh, see everybody again, and, uh- Yeah... should be a really good time. And tha- hey, and thanks for holding tight with us for the year of COVID- Hey, no problem... so we didn't run it.
• 23:12
  That's, that's awesome, man. It had to be a hard decision, but I'm glad you made it, and I think you made the right decision. I'm sure you got some shit on social media about- Oh, yeah...
• 23:20
  canceling, but I think that was the right decision to make. Yeah, I mean, we didn't have a choice here. Um, and, you know, the governor said, you know, shut it down basically. Yeah.
• 23:29
  Um, but yeah, so anybody coming also remember be smart about it. If you're not feeling good or whatever, don't show up. Like, feel free, reach out to me. I will give you your money back if you're sick. I don't care.
• 23:42
  I just cannot have issues. Like, with that, you know? It was so much money, like, we couldn't just donate it anyway, right? I think, yeah. Did you- Yeah, right. [laughs] Yeah. All right. Yeah. Thanks again, man.
• 23:52
  Hey, no problem. We'll see you in two weeks, all right? See you guys in a couple weeks. All right. All right. Later, bud. Bye. Bye. That was awesome. That was cool. It's fantastic. It's always good with a Gigantic Hawk.
• 24:03
  [laughs] It's always better that way. You're not even saying it right. It's always better. She's- I'm definitely saying it right. Yeah. She's- Gigantic Hawk.
• 24:11
  [laughs] She was stammering over here for a few minutes, then she came back. Um- I can't believe I didn't put that together until you said it. [laughs] And I've been, I've been- I can't either...
• 24:19
  looking at that for two years. [laughs] That's it. And, and, and that, that's the name of his company, and they, like, sell jerseys and T-shirts and stuff. Well, I need to order one. Yeah.
• 24:29
  They're on Instagram, gigantic hawk. I want gigantic hawk across my back. [sniffs] Tramp stamp for you. Mm-hmm. There you go. I just thought she's... Never mind. [laughs] Wish I had, that was free.
• 24:40
  All right, so I just checked in with, uh, Drunk Cyclist, and they're far too fucking busy to talk to us, so the next- Oh, is he? Oh, yeah. He's a dick. Oh.
• 24:49
  [laughs] Um, so the next conversation is we've, we as a group have talked about running a race and, and there's only...
• 24:59
  JP is talking about taking it to Wisconsin, and we can't let that happen, so I think the next thing we need to do is discuss bringing it to Decorah. You gotta say Iowa. We don't say towns, we say states. Okay.
• 25:10
  Oh, I'm sorry. To Iowa. Yeah. 'Cause Iowa's never hosted it. No, because there's a lot of respectable individuals. [laughs] Here. No, I would say more the fact that there's not that many, um...
• 25:24
  You know what Wisconsin ha- or Iowa has 1% of the state is public land, so there's not really a ton of places we can run a race. But that being said, um, I think we can put on something here in Decorah.
• 25:38
  I'm not sure the city's gonna like it, but, uh- We could do it. Um, we just, we, it, we, logistically, we have to be smart about it. There's bars that people can go and there's...
• 25:51
  [sighs] So Decorah, Iowa, nobody knows, is a town about 8,000 people, extremely Norwegian. Um- Uff da. Why do you laugh about that? [laughs] Uff da. You wanted lefse tacos. Lefse tacos with the bomb. That's true. Yeah.
• 26:05
  Salmon, yeah. Um, but what is there, 30 miles of single track here? Mm. In the Bluffs, so- Yeah, in the Bluffs. Yeah.
• 26:13
  It's not, not what you would think a typical Iowa, so it's- We could do, we could do an 18-mile course that would- It's, it's, it's called-... rival anything else we've ever been to...
• 26:21
  it's called the Driftless Region, and, um, that's why it's not all cornfields. And actually, I think the theory is that a meteor, meteor hit here.
• 26:33
  I don't know what the elevation is of the trails, but there's a lot of climbing in Decorah. Yeah. We can do...
• 26:37
  I, um, if I remember correctly, the, if you do the 18-mile loop that Decoy set up, it's 3,100 feet of climbing. Yeah. It's like an insane amount for this little bit of an area where we're at.
• 26:49
  And he set that up, what, t- 10 years ago, before we had- Yeah... all the extra trails. So, so I- Now there's like 36 miles... we can do, we can do the, as it's called, the Path of Lee's Resistance- Path of-...
• 26:59
  a new captain's trail, which means that for some reason, even though we're going uphill, we never really go uphill. Yeah. Lee Hackman, the Path of Lee's Resistance. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I will be taking that trail. Yeah?
• 27:10
  Yeah. You gotta get a bike first. Yeah, I, well- You have a y- you have a y- I'll go to a garage sale. I'll find something. You have a year to practice. Chewy has literally...
• 27:18
  Every last time we got a bike out of his garage, he'd grab a bike to move the bike to get the bike out of the way of the bike behind the bike of the bike in front of the bike that we need.
• 27:27
  Well, then I don't have to worry about a bike. [laughs] Hey, I had bikes for you guys last weekend, and none of you rode them. That was not my idea.
• 27:34
  I spent hours trying to get ones to fit Jodi, 'cause she's got legs that are about two and a half feet long. It's not my fault we had midgets with us. [laughs] That was fantastic. Sorry, little people. Oh.
• 27:45
  Oh, I would say... I'm back to midgets. [laughs] Okay. Are you? [laughs] Okay. So anyway, this, our hopes is that we win the competition.
• 27:52
  Uh, and to be honest with you, I can't see how we'd lose because between Spinner, uh, Scandinavia's Jesus from Drunk Cyclist- Uh-huh... that's, did you know that's his name? Or you only, you only know him as the penguin.
• 28:05
  [laughs] Scandinavian Jesus- Yeah, I mean- No, he's ac-... that's the best thing I've ever heard today... no, and he's actually, and he's actually literally a, um, he does, he's done weddings. He's dainty.
• 28:13
  Does he walk on water? He's dainty. [laughs] Sue calls him, Chewy's wife calls him dainty. [laughs] Whenever he does it, she's like, "Why is he so dainty?"
• 28:20
  We- Well, if he can turn water into wine- The, uh- He's my best friend... so at the- He probably could do that. He would figure out a way. Yeah, certainly.
• 28:26
  I, he, he's still blaming me for the whole thing about the Santa rampage, that he had to drag my ass home. Actually, he didn't, 'cause I got a ride home. Um- Oh, is that the one I got lost?
• 28:34
  That's the one you got lost, and the one- Yeah... and the one that I got, I had a guy- That was the 42nd time ago that that was the drunkest you've ever been.
• 28:44
  [laughs] And then 41 more times after that was the drunkest you've ever been. Every weekend is the drunkest he's ever been.
• 28:50
  I, and, and I get, I get a feeling you guys are gonna put me in that same boat here eventually, because we have to drink out of the monkey head. We will drink out of the monkey head. Yeah. So yeah, this was the thing.
• 28:59
  It's delicious. I remember, this isn't the one that I bought in Texas when I was doing my- No... no drinking thing. I remember, 'cause I had to walk around that town of Smithville and find one of these. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
• 29:08
  No, no, no, we both did- You did a no drinking thing? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. For nine months. So, so we were- Well, that's incredible. No, we were... No, it was so funny.
• 29:14
  So we were in Texas, and he came down there, and we were, a- Pat and I were fucking hammered when he finally got into, into town, which took him forever to get there.
• 29:22
  'Cause flying out of Milwaukee is like- No, I flew out of Madison. Oh, Madison, that's right. Yeah. And then over, and I stayed over in Denver for- Mm-hmm... f- Frontier Airlines, which screwed everything up.
• 29:31
  That's the worst airline ever. Yeah, it was like 6:00 PM I was supposed to leave. Didn't leave. Drank the airport out of PBR. You should just...
• 29:36
  You, you, you would've saved money if you would've just paid the extra $100 to fly Delta. Yeah, I know that now. Yeah, okay. Perfect. I learned my lesson. All right. But then the ba- Oh, he-...
• 29:44
  the worst thing was is that- He just recently lost his computer too. Yeah. And well, 'cause in the middle, my brother lives in Denver, and they're like, "Oh, yeah, your flight doesn't leave until 9:00 PM tonight."
• 29:53
  So I'm like, okay, I'm gonna go to the bar with my brother. I just got into town. That was a bad seven hours of drinking. [laughs] And this, and this is technically a non-drinking trip, right? No, no, no.
• 30:05
  This is part of the reason for the non-drinking trip. Oh, I'm sorry. Okay. Yeah. So you fell off the wagon in Denver? Uh, well, I don't know. W- No, no, no... I've never been on the wagon.
• 30:14
  So- I've never been on the wagon in the first place You quit drinking for nine months, you're on the wagon... here- here's the problem. There was, so there was, there was several trips down to Texas that we did.
• 30:21
  The, the one that kicked my ass the most was, was the Denver one, and I don't know if it was the first time or the second time we went down to check out this area to ride. But he
• 30:30
  texts me from the Madison Airport, and he had bought the airport out of PBRs. Yes. Yes. And then, and then he went to Denver- And he misses, and he- And he missed his flight back. So he's flying from Madison-
• 30:44
  To Denver... to Denver, to Austin, Texas. Mm-hmm. Which is, which... I'm gonna bring this up in a second. [laughs] Um, so he, he's like, he misses his flight. He stays with his brother in Denver.
• 30:57
  Um, then he gets in, like, literally at 11:00 the next night. So this is like a whirlwind trip. We're gonna go and check out these trails. It rained the whole time we were down there. We didn't ride any trails.
• 31:05
  We, [laughs] we literally sat at Kieran Anthony's house and watched the trails that other people had GoPro-ed the trails, and decided which one we're gonna ride from there. Yeah, it was ridiculous. And- That's...
• 31:14
  We had, we flew to Austin to watch a video. Yeah. And, and so- And approve the venue. [laughs] And, and so that was the first mess-up we did.
• 31:25
  And then the next time we went down there, where we actually went out to Smithville to check out the place that we had decided to run the race at, he was not drinking. Yeah.
• 31:32
  So we went to this little bar in Smithville, which by the way, you will love because it is, like, the biggest, the coolest dive bar we've ever been to. Oh, wow. It was the- And you've been to a ton of them, but I...
• 31:44
  This is- Ton. It was a- If you go to this one, you're gonna go, "Yeah, this is one of the best."
• 31:47
  It was an old mechanic shop, so it had garage doors all over it, and they could just open the garage doors, and there was, like, a courtyard out to the side. And the rest of it was just kind of tables.
• 31:56
  Nothing really matched. Like, a bunch of chairs that they'd just found [laughs] and put around the thing.
• 32:00
  And, uh- The bathrooms were literally the old coolers that they just opened up the doors and turned them into bathrooms. They were- Yeah. It was... I don't think it was doors. Like, a piece of plywood on, on a hinge.
• 32:09
  [laughs] Well, and, and the bar was plywood. Yeah. The walls were plywood. It was fantastic. It was- But they were great, and they loved us.
• 32:15
  And, uh, you- And, and Spinner found out- We put a lot- Spinner found out how many... What is the complete amount of NA beers that you can drink without blowing up. Yeah. So how fun is a Spinner sober?
• 32:28
  'Cause I imagine- Um-... it's not that fun. No, no, no, he's not- No. When I- Was there dance- was there solo dancing? No. No, there was no solo dancing. Well, then that's not that fun. No, there was no solo dancing. No.
• 32:38
  Uh- And so, it just was some- We had some podcasts. Yeah, so yeah, we did podcasts, and you were very serious about your podcast. Yeah. And you did a good job. You u- it's like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
• 32:45
  I have my professional day job, and then as soon as the, the beer's poured, then Spinner shows up. [laughs] You don't worry about that. Yeah. It, it was- Except for Spinner was drinking NAs, so it's not...
• 32:53
  It's like- Yeah... it's like serious- It was, it was tough... work Spinner, and then it's, like- It was tough... minus 10%. It was tough, but I needed to do it, and I'm happy that I did it. It was- And we literally...
• 33:02
  You, you... We, uh, went out and bought a bunch of NA beers and gave them to the bar. Mm-hmm. And I'm like, "Can... I will buy these from you." Was it Busch? Busch NA. Yeah. Yeah.
• 33:10
  So I'm like, "I will buy these from you, but I just need you to have some back there- Mm-hmm... so that I can drink some." And, um, I'm glad I did it. I won't do it again.
• 33:18
  [laughs] But it- Yeah, but you know you could do it. Yeah. The, the, I think, I think what the, the saving grace was, uh, the clientele down there was hilarious. Yes. Like, we had so much fun with the locals down there.
• 33:29
  They were fan- they were fantastic people. They, they, they would do anything for us. Um, the guy who owned... Whose father owned the property that we ran the race on,
• 33:40
  um, we went, we went back down after, the day after his birthday, and he had 27 coins still in his hand. [laughs] So this dude hadn't bought a beer in like- Drink chips. Yeah, drink chips... yeah, drink chips.
• 33:50
  And he hadn't bought, he hadn't bought a beer in days. Yeah. [laughs] And he just started chucking them out to us, and, and they're going- He was trying... "Look, you guys, you guys are running the race.
• 33:59
  You're not paying for your beers anyway." So it was- So this race is in Austin proper, or are you outside of Austin about where? Uh, we were about 20 miles outside- Okay... in a little town called Smithville. Yep.
• 34:07
  You ever seen the movie Hope Floats? Yes, I have. Oh, it was filmed in Smithville. There you go. Uh, captain's claim to fame is he stayed at the same Airbnb that Brad Pitt did. Yeah. Wow. No, it's not wow.
• 34:18
  [laughs] It's not wow. Dude, just... Um, no, we're not gonna go down that- Glad I really get to look at men staying at that place... we are, listen, we are not going down that path.
• 34:26
  [laughs] There was, there was another argument about that. But, um- Oh, Jesus... um, so yeah, it was, it was good.
• 34:32
  And, and the fact that the main guys have stuck with it is amazing because they could have easily said, "Fuck it, we don't wanna mess with it anymore." I mean, you can tell when...
• 34:40
  I mean, when Wisconsin won it up in Michigan that, uh, we're like, "Oh, shit, we just won Singlespeed. Now we gotta host this thing. Now we gotta put an event together." I think when, uh, Seth won, maybe...
• 34:51
  He tried for a couple years. Like, he had a plan. He wants to bring people to his state. He wants to show everybody how good the mountain biking is out there, which is a good show, and this will be, what? The, the...
• 35:02
  It's sing- how... The 14th or 15th version. When did Singlespeed start? Uh, Arizona in 2009? The first one I went to was Minnesota, which was 2013.
• 35:17
  So we'd been to Boulder, Arizona, um- Vermont, I know. Ver- I think Vermont was the first- He... Vermont was the or- yeah. It, it- Is that where Minnesota won it? They won the hosting rights in Vermont?
• 35:30
  That was 29 and Single, right? No. Wasn't it? No. Oh, maybe... No, they weren't there. Oh, yeah, they were there. Yeah, maybe it was. That was the hosters for Minnesota. Yeah. The 29 and Single guys put on an event. Mm.
• 35:39
  That was... No, that was the, that was the thrown one because they, we had to drink a, we had to drink a pint of maple syrup. Oh. Yeah. That was- Yeah... that was like, "Are we sure we should do this to people?"
• 35:51
  But we did it anyway. Yeah. Well, I s- And should we get into the hot dog contest or should we- [laughs] Oh, yeah, so- Ooh, the hot dog contest. No. Yeah. The howat? Okay, so we have- The hot dog contest...
• 36:02
  we have, we have, we have one more discussion. So there is another event I'm gonna put out on here. You have notes? Is this an organized show? Huh? You had plans? You, did, did you think about this beforehand?
• 36:09
  No, I'm done with the plans. Plans died like fucking- Yeah, okay... oh, the pla- Out the door... the plans died 36, or six minutes ago because I'm, we're past the half hour. Thanks, Pat, for fucking up our show.
• 36:18
  [laughs] Yeah. Um, and but thanks to Seth for showing up Um, so I've been debating about putting on another plan down here, another ride. Yeah. Um, a race from our house down here.
• 36:28
  So I live down the hill from- Oh, I love it... I, I live down the hill from... And I saw this, the guys that live out in Marin County on Repack, they did this. So it's a time trial, and you have to ride from my house
• 36:42
  up the hill, uh, to Carlson Property, do a loop, and then come back down. And the entire time you're doing this, you have to carry a hotdog. When you get down to the end, you have- With a bun? Huh?
• 36:54
  Like a cooked hotdog with a bun? A cooked hotdog with a bun. Okay. And then when you get done, and you can put condiments on before or after, I don't care. Probably after.
• 37:02
  When you get to the bottom, when you get to the bottom back to the house, you have to eat the hotdog, and then your time ends when you eat the hotdog.
• 37:09
  Okay, but the rule is there's no rule about how he can carry the hotdog. There's no rule about how you carry the hotdog, which brings Jenny into the thing. Oh, good.
• 37:16
  [laughs] But do you have to eat the hotdog if you carry it, or can someone else eat it for you? Again- Yeah... this is where you can play [laughs] um, like- Is this, is this a biathlon?
• 37:26
  Can you have a- I mean, this could be a partnership. No, well, we've never done tag team. Where would you ca- Oh. But tag team is a possibility. Tag team is definitely a possibility.
• 37:34
  Tell t- because- I don't know if I dare ask this question. Go ahead. Where would- Oh, but you dare... where would you carry a hotdog that you wouldn't eat yourself? Well, I mean, there's so many places.
• 37:43
  [laughs] I mean, you have so many orifices as a woman to carry a hotdog. Yeah, okay. [laughs] Dudes are just... Dude. And then basically- Dudes are screwed...
• 37:52
  you get back, you have a line of people just waiting to eat that hotdog after you get back. There is- I mean, there's kinks for everybody. That may- Well, there is.
• 38:00
  And then, and then after that, you can rent out your orgy shower. My orgy shower in my house? And you're making, you're making bank. Yeah. So Spinner has an orgy shower in the basemen- the- [laughs]...
• 38:11
  main level of his house. Okay. Yeah, I did not build this house. [laughs] No, it really is- I bought this house, and- Because of the orgy shower... I didn't- Yeah, let it be known- I didn't-...
• 38:18
  he did not build an orgy shower. My- It was here as he- My realtor-... entered it a week ago... my realtor told me, [laughs] "There's an orgy shower in the house."
• 38:27
  [laughs] And it's, it's just a room in the basement with a bunch of shower heads. It's not a room. It's basically a five-by-four space- [laughs]... with, like, five shower heads. Well, it's bigger than that. Well...
• 38:36
  Okay. Not too much bigger. There are no removable shower heads, ladies, so don't get too excited. But there's definitely several shower heads. Is that important? I can put that in. It is definitely important. Oh, okay.
• 38:47
  You know, because you can- Pinker?... you can click, click, click, click, click to different ba, ba, ba, ba, ba speeds. [imitates clicking] Right? I don't know. No, I'm confused. Well, you're not a woman.
• 38:55
  I barely shower. I mean, I shower, like, twice a week. [laughs] Obviously. I can tell from your beard. Yeah. [laughs] So, so you- But you don't smell like hot garbage, so that's a plus. Okay. Thank you. Wow. Yeah, yeah.
• 39:09
  All right. That's enough of that crap, um, because we're at 40 minutes, and we need to get out of here. Um, thank you, guys. Jenny, thank you for coming and joining in. You're welcome. It was, um...
• 39:18
  [laughs] You're a permanent fixture on this thing now. [laughs] Anytime. [laughs] Like, like it or not, Spinner, you are not anymore. [laughs] I know. Kicked off. You've been, you've been booted.
• 39:27
  I feel like she said worse things than I did, but- But- No, I just-... but let's just, but- No, no, but- But let's just say this, he does have a beautiful braided beard. You do have a braided beard.
• 39:35
  He does have a braided beard. He is- He does. Because you know what this looks like if I don't do this? He is a Viking- Beautiful-... if I've ever seen one. Beautiful's, uh, eh, it's okay. It's lovely. It's okay.
• 39:44
  It's lovely. It's okay. It could, it could use some, like, flowers knitted in there. But it's beautiful. See, we should've stopped this podcast, like- Yeah... two minutes ago. No. Like- [laughs]...
• 39:53
  how many minutes are we in? 39? Well, 39. We should've stopped this podcast 39 minutes ago. [laughs] Yeah. Goddammit. All right. All right, thanks again, you two. Um, we're out of here. Talk to y'all later.
• 40:03
  Thank you for everything. [upbeat rock music] Get music on. Yeah. [laughs] Cheers.
• 40:09
  [upbeat rock music]