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The Art of Giving: Expecting Nothing in Return · Eye Opener Society

• 0:02
  Hey, everyone. Welcome to the Eye Opener Society.
• 0:05
  You have me, Gary. Me, Hannah. And how is everybody doing? Thank you again for
• 0:09
  joining in on our little show.
• 0:12
  I'm so happy for everybody that joins us on this little podcast.
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  We got a lot of good stuff.
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  listen to our shows and to share our shows also join us on facebook too because
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• 1:11
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  shows on there too as well coming up we got a lot planned and we have such a
• 1:20
  very short time and we're always We're always behind schedule,
• 1:22
  but we definitely are going to try our best to bring you whatever it is we can.
• 1:27
  We have a very positive energy.
• 1:30
  A lot of that, uh, talking about a lot of positive energy coming up too,
• 1:34
  because I've been inspired by a lot of things. Sophie Catherine.
• 1:38
  Another podcaster, you know her. She was on our show a couple times. We were on her show.
• 1:44
  Definitely listen to her show. I'm going to make sure there's links in there.
• 1:47
  The Sophie Catherine podcast.
• 1:49
  Her show is sounding so, so good on this second season. It's amazing the transformations
• 1:54
  that she's going through.
• 1:56
  And she sounds great. It's so good. And don't forget to check out the Bell Witch podcast too as well.
• 2:04
  And don't forget till the end of this month, June, if you're joining us here
• 2:07
  in June, uh, the, uh, leads marketplace.
• 2:10
  If you go to her episode, um, the marketplace that changed my life.
• 2:16
  And I'll also leave a synopsis in this, uh, in the synopsis,
• 2:20
  I'll leave a link, uh, for that leads marketplace.
• 2:23
  If you heard us talking about that too, it's a really, really good cause to give to.
• 2:28
  And I hope everybody can give at least a dollar or whatever it is you can,
• 2:32
  uh, for something thing that's, I think should be funded for sure.
• 2:37
  So don't forget, check out, um, bell, which podcast and look for the links in
• 2:41
  the synopsis of this show.
• 2:43
  So Hannah, what do we got for this show?
• 2:46
  So I had run into a situation a couple of weeks ago at work.
• 2:53
  So it got my mind, you know, twirling, twirling, twirling.
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  And I wanted to discuss on tonight's podcast.
• 3:04
  Um oh my god i'm losing my train of thought see this podcast is so fun yeah um.
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  Giving and then people respect like giving and someone expecting something in return.
• 3:19
  Is kind of how you summarize it up so basically
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  you know you do like a
• 3:25
  favor for somebody or they do you a
• 3:28
  favor and then they expect something in return turn yeah
• 3:31
  and that i mean that's an
• 3:34
  important thing because there's a
• 3:37
  lot and speaking of you know the leads marketplace and all it's like um if people
• 3:41
  give uh that's spectacular it helps out um if people ever donate it to us that's
• 3:47
  great it helps out but we're talking in terms of when we're actually doing good
• 3:53
  deeds and then actually expecting Backding.
• 3:57
  Something in return for it or some sort
• 4:00
  of recognition for it i i
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  know of people who do that like i've always
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  said there's a lot of times with these donation accounts and i forget which
• 4:10
  ones they are but um you can do it anonymously yeah and someone or sometimes
• 4:17
  you could just put your name on there and the people are choosing to put their
• 4:20
  names on there sometimes i don't know
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  why it's almost like hey look at me i'm giving money yeah look
• 4:26
  at me i'm helping out which is great and nobody's
• 4:29
  going to you know you know ridicule you
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  for that but some people are doing it just for the praise yeah to say hey i
• 4:38
  gave look at me i gave i'm doing my part it's to me it's a false way of helping
• 4:46
  yeah because it's like you're almost helping yourself out Yeah, exactly.
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  I think, too, like how I like what I really wanted to touch base on is just
• 4:54
  like, you know, let's say you have a busy day at work or something like that.
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  And you're like, oh, I'm not going to be able to get this done.
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  Hey, can you just like, can you do this for me? Like, you'd be really doing me a solid.
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  And this is like my situation that happened. I'm like, you know,
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  you could just do me a solid. Like, I would appreciate it. I just don't have enough time in my day.
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  I need to prioritize what I'm doing currently. and
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  so they're like oh yeah no problem i got you i'll take care
• 5:19
  of you and then days later goes by and they're like
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  you know how i did that for you well could you do this for me
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  that shit's got to stop this is
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  a uh well it's a personality problem
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  i think with people when it comes to that same type
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  of situation that you are expecting something in
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  return for the work or the yeah whatever
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  it is you're doing is like a favor for a favor instead
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  of just going about and doing
• 5:49
  what you're supposed to do yeah like or like just like helping someone out
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  you know not expecting anything return like whatever
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  happened to oh like can like can you like it like for example just like money
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  i know money's tight right now but like oh can you know oh i'm short or something
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  like that oh yeah hey don't worry about it and then it just used to be the end
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  of that like i got you i'll spot you you And then now it's like,
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  hey, I bought you that $3.76 coffee.
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  When am I going to get that $3.76 money back?
• 6:21
  Come on now. What is going on with the world? What is going on with humanity?
• 6:26
  I have experienced just...
• 6:31
  Situations like this too many times in my life where it's like,
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  if I could, if I go back, you know, 10,
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  15 years ago, everyone was just so not necessarily giving, but so humane when
• 6:44
  it came to this, you know, they were just like, like, you know,
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  it was like, thank you so much.
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  And that was the end of it. It's not like it wasn't, Hey, remember when I helped
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  you out 10, like 10 days Or like two months ago.
• 6:57
  It wasn't like that. yeah things have
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  changed i mean there has been a major shift in everything
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  yeah and people have become well
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  we are struggling financially all of
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  us and we've also lost trust in
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  society 100 and this is
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  another reason why i think people don't want
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  to do anything for somebody without out expecting something in
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  return just for that trust you know hey i
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  trusted you you know to do something for you and i'm trusting
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  that you're going to do something back in return you know yeah this
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  is a new sort of way of thinking i think you know because listen i come from
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  a real old school too it's just you went about life and you never said though
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  hey you know what i did something for that person when are they going to pay
• 7:48
  me back yeah i never dealt with that i've I've never,
• 7:51
  you know, it's not something I grew up on. Yeah.
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  But, yeah, we've been forced into this kind of new world now where everything is changing.
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  A sweeping change is going across between personalities of people,
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  people, the way that we interact with each other.
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  I don't know where the change came from.
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  But, yeah, a lot of this needs to change because we got to look up on ourselves.
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  Yeah, it becomes ugly after a while. all like and i'm not saying like oh yeah
• 8:19
  you spotted someone like forty dollars or something like that like yeah forty
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  dollars forty dollars like that's not even a half tank of gas for me but like
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  like nowadays but i'm saying like.
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  But don't even bother, like how I look at it is this, like don't even bother
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  doing someone a solid if you're going to expect something in return.
• 8:38
  I just think that's really shitty of people.
• 8:41
  Yeah. I'm not talking about like, like I said, money. Like I said,
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  if it's like a $3 coffee, I'm not fucking worried about three damn dollars.
• 8:48
  You know what I mean? Yeah.
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  Inflation is shitty, but I'm not going to haggle someone for $3.
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  But if it's like something else, like I forgot my debit card.
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  Can you fill my gas? Like I'm obviously going to pay someone back.
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  But if it's just something like that you just found in your heart that you wanted
• 9:04
  to do for somebody, don't hold it against you.
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  It's like you it's like I I imagine people just like literally going in their
• 9:12
  phone notes and writing it down like on June 10th. I did so and so this favor.
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  So I'm going to ask them like they owe me. You know, that's how I feel like
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  the world is coming to nowadays. It's sad.
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  And this is why I like to work independently. Independently,
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  I don't like to rely on other people because you do wind up in those situations.
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  Hey, yeah, I helped you with this project and now you owe me on this one.
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  And even what you just said, even if it is something a little bit more significant like the $40.
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  So, I remember too a time when if you did that, the other person was just going
• 9:48
  to bring it back to you within a reasonable amount of time.
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  They never had to worry about that either. either and
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  i think too that's where the trust issues with people come from because
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  people don't pay back now for something yeah significant
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  you know money wise is a big thing and
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  yeah we can stick our you know neck out for somebody every now and then you
• 10:08
  know hey spot me this spot me that but again we don't do it as much because
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  yeah we're going to get that hey when you pay me back you know nonsense or you
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  know there's so much now it everything has changed everything yeah Yeah,
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  but to like side away from like the whole money aspect of things,
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  I just can't grasp my head around just...
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  Like I said, like the ugly that
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  we have in the world and I get like trust issues and things like that.
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  But just like what happened to being like a good neighbor or like a good friend?
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  You know, it's just like I've had to run into situations where I've like ended
• 10:50
  up ending friendships because it's like all that I've done for you,
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  everything I've done for you.
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  And I'm like, see, that's not the type of person I want to have in my life because.
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  Like you're gonna hold that against me like you're
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  that was a favor that you did you know like that was
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  you know something that you did out of the kindness of your heart like if i
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  knew that you were gonna for all that i've done for you i would have never continued
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  our friendship in the first place you know it's just one of those things where
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  i look and i'm like i don't expect anything in return when I do things for people.
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  We, we are human beings.
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  Yeah. That's basically what it is. And human beings over time,
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  we do, we start to pick, you know, take on different personalities and thoughts.
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  We are not the way we used to be. You're right. We're not.
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  And with friendships, I don't have a whole lot of friends myself.
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  And I think for the same reason, it's just, There seems to be too much aggravation,
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  too much drama now that you have to take on with that.
• 11:56
  Yeah, because to me, that's drama. Hey, well, if all I've done.
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  As a friend, you're going to do a lot for another person.
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  And it goes both ways with that. But there's never an expectation in return.
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  Yeah. Could not be an expectation in return.
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  As a friend or within a friendship, you're just going to do things as they come
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  naturally. Because you love that person and you care for that person.
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  And you should never at any point in your mind be like, damn,
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  they're going to owe me. Right.
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  Yeah. And I remember it's like back in the day when I used to have good close
• 12:30
  friends, it was like, hey, listen, we're going to this event tonight.
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  I don't think I could, you know, go because I don't got enough money.
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  Don't even worry about it. I got you.
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  And it was never an issue. You just went with them. Yeah.
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  And there was never, ever a, hey, you owe me for that night. Right.
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  Because I, you know, because when you say, hey, listen, I can't go because I can't afford it.
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  But then if you just make the move and say, I'll pay for you,
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  you shouldn't be expecting anything in return because you just basically made
• 12:58
  that offer. It wasn't a big borrower plea.
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  It was a, I'm paying for you. Yeah.
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  I feel like me and you, like we do that all the time. Like if we're like,
• 13:06
  you're getting dinner or I'm covering, like getting dinner, I'm like, hey, like.
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  How much do you want and you'll you'll be like oh how much sometimes we'll be
• 13:15
  like oh yeah we'll just do it half down the middle and other times we'll be like ah don't
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  worry about it don't worry about it and then we never expect anything you
• 13:21
  know we're just like yeah because but you see to us
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  that seems so natural yeah so when you do nice people yeah and then when we
• 13:29
  step outside the box and then you're dealing with somebody who is not in that
• 13:32
  mindset it does it makes you think why as human beings do we have to be like
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  that i think this is where the shift needs this is where Where you got to really
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  look at yourself and say,
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  hey, what kind of person am I? Am I a giving person?
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  Yeah. Or am I an expectation person where I'm expecting something in return
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  or I'm always expecting that payback?
• 13:52
  Yeah. That's something we need to reflect on as, you know, ourselves.
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  And, you know, maybe I'm guilty that at one point or another,
• 14:00
  sometimes we slip up, but sometimes it's a situation you're in, you know. Yeah.
• 14:04
  Sometimes it really is. Sometimes you may feel overly obligated to do something for somebody else.
• 14:10
  Yeah. You know, when you really didn't have to. And I think that's where the
• 14:13
  only time I think that should come into play.
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  But other than that, yeah, friendships or even people you're working with,
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  as long as it's not involving money, you know, projects and all,
• 14:23
  what you help on, it's okay, cool.
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  There's no expectation in return. And with like when you work,
• 14:30
  like, and if you're on like a team, like it's called teamwork, you know?
• 14:34
  Yeah. And everybody needs to pull their own weight, not just one person.
• 14:37
  Everybody else rides off of that person.
• 14:39
  Yeah, me. Um, yeah.
• 14:42
  So to shift a little bit here, I want to, cause I, I feel like I'm guilty of this.
• 14:48
  Um, you know, feeling like you had said, like feeling obligated to do, um, things for people.
• 14:56
  I, it took me a while. Like I was always like that mom friend where I took care of everything.
• 15:02
  I took care of like people, uh, you know, I would get things and I would stretch
• 15:06
  myself in just to to make sure that the people around me were happy.
• 15:10
  And I'm still, like I said, a little bit guilty of this. Oh, excuse me.
• 15:16
  But like, at what point in life do you kind of look at someone that you've been
• 15:22
  constantly like, you know, for me, momming or taking care of?
• 15:25
  And you're like, holy shit, I have done this, this, this, this,
• 15:30
  this, this, this, this, this.
• 15:32
  And there's no kind of appreciation there you know what
• 15:35
  i mean like there's like to shift it a little bit it's just like
• 15:38
  you're not expecting anything in return but then you sign it you kind of start
• 15:42
  feeling a type of way because then you're like wait holy fuck am i even appreciated
• 15:46
  just a little bit and i don't think there's anything necessarily wrong with
• 15:49
  at least wanting appreciation yeah and you could look at that either way i think
• 15:54
  because some people you know i don't know.
• 15:58
  Sometimes I think the same applies to that, where if you're looking for the
• 16:02
  appreciation, you're looking for something in return that way.
• 16:06
  But at the same time, I think as humans and the way our feelings work,
• 16:11
  we're hardwired to believe that.
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  It's like we should be shown some sort of appreciation and not,
• 16:18
  you know, hey, I'm going to pay you back for everything you've done.
• 16:21
  But a little bit, you know, turn around and say, hey, thank you very much for
• 16:24
  doing everything that you've done.
• 16:25
  This way it kind of makes you
• 16:28
  feel good for doing all those things yeah and it
• 16:31
  does make you say hey because other times you may feel
• 16:34
  you're doing all this stuff and then you're going to
• 16:37
  feel like well am i even helping out because no one's appreciating what i'm
• 16:41
  doing so yeah and i think that's how i would i feel like in situations like
• 16:45
  that you know it's not even that necessarily i want like the appreciation but
• 16:49
  i'm like okay you're still miserable like so like everything Everything I'm
• 16:54
  doing, I guess, isn't good enough, you know?
• 16:56
  So it's just like, what am I doing here?
• 16:59
  You know? Right. Yeah. These are real feelings.
• 17:04
  I think we're just wired for it's, it's something to think about.
• 17:10
  I, like I said, I don't really do too much for too many people or even know
• 17:15
  too many people to get myself involved in any of that. Yeah.
• 17:18
  Just because of the same thing. I don't want the drama involved and I don't
• 17:22
  want to feel like I'm not appreciated either.
• 17:25
  I think that is a kind of a bad feeling to have. Yeah, it is.
• 17:28
  I can really sympathize with that because, yeah, it's.
• 17:32
  It's not even necessarily like you're not like, oh, thank you.
• 17:36
  Yeah. I just kind of want like a like almost like a.
• 17:41
  Just a thank you. Yeah. Like if it wasn't, you know, not like even like if it
• 17:44
  wasn't for you, just being like, just like being kind of like,
• 17:48
  wow, you really helped me out, you know, or something like that.
• 17:51
  You know, like you've met like, you know, like I've I've dug people out of trenches
• 17:56
  before and, you know, they just like go off and thrive and I'm like their biggest cheerleader.
• 18:02
  Later and then you know when it comes down to
• 18:05
  you know me having established boundaries then i'm
• 18:08
  like a horrible friend and a bitch and i'm just like what the
• 18:12
  fuck happened when i like basically like saved your ass you know like when i
• 18:16
  drove hours and picked you up in the middle of the night when i was late to
• 18:21
  like appointments for or work or something like that for you it's not even that
• 18:25
  i want the appreciation but you're not gonna sit there and turn around and act
• 18:28
  like Like I didn't fucking take care of your ass.
• 18:33
  You can look at it like this. It's like a checklist of all the people you know
• 18:37
  and all the people you've done. So I have no friends anymore.
• 18:39
  Right. It's a checklist.
• 18:41
  You're checking them right off. Yeah. This person unappreciative.
• 18:44
  This person, you know, just totally snubbed me. This person, this.
• 18:48
  You get rid of these people. Yeah. It's a good way to clear out.
• 18:51
  I mean, if you don't take it so personally, if you say, wow,
• 18:53
  this person really don't appreciate what I'm doing.
• 18:57
  Goodbye. Yeah. Out of your life. It's as simple as that.
• 18:59
  It takes away the drama, takes away that annoying factor, and it clears out
• 19:04
  that clutter from your mind worrying about these people anymore.
• 19:07
  And it's not even like I'm trying to like contradict the whole subject,
• 19:11
  but I think sometimes like, you know,
• 19:14
  to argue like back and like with the topic is that, you know,
• 19:19
  I feel like there are situations where you don't necessarily expect something in return.
• 19:26
  Turn but it's just like i feel like we should
• 19:30
  all strive to at least
• 19:33
  have the decency you know right to you know just be appreciative you know i
• 19:41
  feel like a lot of people have turned not like impolite yeah well obviously
• 19:47
  yeah it's not hard you know it's not hard to be a nice person Yeah.
• 19:51
  Or at least to your face. You know, at the very least, change your attitude for a few minutes.
• 19:57
  And if you do that, you realize sometimes you feel better about yourself when
• 20:02
  you do that. Yeah. Like, it goes as far as, you know...
• 20:06
  Even if some like stranger, you know, opens the door for you,
• 20:09
  make sure you say thank you.
• 20:10
  You know, I have opened doors for so many people and they just give me like
• 20:13
  a look like they don't like I'm foreign or like, you know, like they like I'm
• 20:18
  not from this world, you know, unexpected these days. Yeah. The yeah.
• 20:22
  Sometimes the appreciation is unexpected and people do not know how to react to that sort of stuff.
• 20:29
  And this is why you get these attitudes and, you know, and then you feel unappreciated
• 20:33
  for doing even the smallest things.
• 20:35
  Things so yeah i it's a great topic it's
• 20:38
  fantastic and it's great for self-discovery and self-awareness it's
• 20:42
  just where you are and what you do or what
• 20:45
  you do for others and the people in your life what
• 20:47
  they do for you in return or do they expect
• 20:50
  something in return and all about simple
• 20:54
  attitude simple like i said a thank you goes so far
• 20:58
  and so far you know and i
• 21:00
  could tell a fake thank you from real thank you too you know i've
• 21:03
  been around there too yeah so yeah but again
• 21:06
  i think it may we make a checklist
• 21:09
  of whom is not appreciative of what we do and then we just kind of say that's
• 21:16
  it hey i gave my time and energy and it just wasn't worth it yeah you write
• 21:21
  it off kind of like writing off taxes i you know sometimes that's the only way
• 21:25
  you can deal and handle that because it
• 21:28
  can it can fester yeah and it can boil you
• 21:32
  know you know because if you especially be doing
• 21:34
  something continuously some people have that you know problem i
• 21:38
  think where they help continuously to those that don't deserve that help yeah
• 21:42
  and that's what's going to really eat at you for you know because you're the
• 21:46
  one who's always going to get screwed no matter how you look at it yeah and
• 21:49
  i think like it's it's hard it's hard to like kind of break your ways but um
• 21:55
  for people People who are like that, me.
• 21:58
  My mom, you, like, you know, it's just like.
• 22:02
  Some point it's just kind of like a like a barrier goes up and
• 22:05
  that's it's funny because that's
• 22:08
  when the snakes come out in your life and you're like oh damn yeah like these
• 22:13
  are the people that really you know are the people that i don't need in my life
• 22:17
  you know so it's just one of those things where it's like it's hard to break
• 22:21
  a habit but in the long run it's just better for your peace of
• 22:27
  mind yeah it is and this
• 22:31
  is a good segue too because i was gonna wait to the
• 22:34
  end of the show anyway so i was gonna give a shout out to real men hug podcast
• 22:38
  yeah check them out because i listened to one of their episodes that really
• 22:42
  like hit me so hard yeah you know so sometimes it's just the topic and the way
• 22:48
  it's presented but real men hug podcast check them out they had.
• 22:52
  An episode one of the more recent ones on apologizing to
• 22:57
  people and this sort of feel like do
• 23:00
  you forgive and forget and it
• 23:04
  hit me so hard because my situation would work from the other job and the person
• 23:09
  that put me and wronged me someone who was a friend do you have the ability
• 23:15
  to forgive them for what they done oh so harsh but this is the same thing like do we forgive
• 23:21
  people who don't give a shit about what we're doing for them
• 23:25
  is it something forgivable do we say hey listen
• 23:27
  you know i forgive you you know you but at the same time just because i'm forgiving
• 23:35
  you is not writing you a free pass yeah so and they went into all the boundaries
• 23:40
  and all with that too so that's a good show it's i love it you know it's just
• 23:45
  really good stuff so real Real Man Hug.
• 23:49
  Listen to them. I think they're on all major platforms too. But it was just funny.
• 23:54
  And I thought about that because it can tie into that. Do we forgive?
• 23:57
  Like, do we keep doing stuff for people and they keep, you know,
• 24:01
  harming us by not acknowledging or not being appreciative or coming right to
• 24:08
  you because they know you're going to help? Yeah.
• 24:11
  That's what I was going to bring up. Yeah. I was just like, when people kind
• 24:14
  of get your vibe and then they're like, oh, yeah, if I become friends with this
• 24:18
  person, they're going to do this for me. You know, they're a pushover.
• 24:21
  Just protect yourself. And, you know, again, just if people do you a solid or
• 24:27
  if you do someone a solid, don't expect anything in return.
• 24:33
  You know, just be a kind person. You know, that's, you know,
• 24:37
  what is it, loving thy neighbor and stuff like that. that, you know,
• 24:39
  just be a happy, good person.
• 24:42
  And, you know, don't let people take advantage of you, of course,
• 24:46
  have your boundaries, but,
• 24:49
  Don't expect just like someone like, oh, you let them over on a busy highway or something like that.
• 24:54
  And then you need to get let over and they don't let you over.
• 24:57
  Don't expect to be let over, you know?
• 24:59
  Yeah. We need to have our expectations all in order and all in line.
• 25:04
  So let this all just be a nice little topic to, you know, again,
• 25:09
  reflect on yourself, reflect on the people around you, the things you're doing for others.
• 25:14
  Keep it small. Keep it simple. When it does come time to really help out,
• 25:19
  don't expect something in return or at least looking for a thank you.
• 25:24
  If you don't get it, you know where that person stands.
• 25:27
  So keep that checklist going of the people that, you know, are just not worth it anymore.
• 25:32
  And don't keep giving too much of your energies.
• 25:35
  Don't give too much of your soul to another person because some people will
• 25:39
  just feed right off of that.
• 25:40
  So definitely check out um swales
• 25:45
  the friendly green witch on the bell witch podcast i
• 25:48
  definitely i want to keep that going because again if
• 25:51
  you listen to the episode um the marketplace that saved my life give give as
• 25:57
  much as you can for something like that if you can i really think it's such
• 26:01
  a great cause and again i'll put the links in the synopsis of this show and
• 26:07
  check out Real Men Hug as well. They're another great podcast.
• 26:11
  Try and give a little shout out every now and then to a few of my favorite people
• 26:15
  and podcasts on our show, too, just as a way of appreciation because they always
• 26:20
  help us out, too, as well.
• 26:22
  Especially Chris Artel on Twisted Tales. I'll make sure a link is down there on his Spotify.
• 26:27
  A very hardworking man in the podcast industry because he puts so much effort into there.
• 26:34
  It's so much research. And I can't even research who we're supposed to be researching
• 26:38
  to for our next episode as well. But yeah.
• 26:41
  Yeah. So check them all out. Check us out on iOpenerSociety.Podbean.com.
• 26:48
  Check out all of our shows. Our sponsors are at the very top of the page alongside
• 26:51
  of Buy Me a Coffee if you wish to donate to us to help us out with all of these
• 26:56
  monthly bills that we have to keep the show going.
• 26:59
  We appreciate all the listens, though. Join us on Facebook because on Facebook,
• 27:04
  we do the Behind the Eyes episode once a month. We do it live on Facebook.
• 27:08
  And I think we're going to branch out and we're going to see if we could also
• 27:10
  do it simultaneously over Podbean 2 as well.
• 27:13
  I'm hoping we can because that will be really exciting to start building up some more people.
• 27:17
  I've got to get busy on that too as well. So I want to thank everyone for listening.
• 27:22
  I want to thank Hannah for joining us and bringing up this topic.
• 27:26
  I think it was really exciting to talk about that. and we'll see you on the next episode. See ya.