Latest / Silver FM 100.6 / Dear Life Kit: Should I put my life on hold for my partner?

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Dear Life Kit: Should I put my life on hold for my partner? · Silver FM 100.6

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey.
• 0:00
  Speaker 2: You know that nagging voice in your head, the one
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: telling you to put the phone down and stop doom scrolling, Well,
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• 0:24
  Speaker 3: She's going to be too tired to commute back that
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: thirty minutes. She's going to be going to restaurants, living
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: her life. You think you're going to be thinking about
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: her boyfriend back there, back in the suburbs.
• 0:32
  Speaker 4: I don't think so. That relationship is over.
• 0:36
  Speaker 5: So, oh my god, we're congrapolating so much now, you
• 0:39
  Speaker 5: know what do it?
• 0:40
  Speaker 4: Everyone giving us the advice show.
• 0:43
  Speaker 5: Do whatever you want. That is always the caveat we
• 0:46
  Speaker 5: want to ask her. Ask here. Hey, it's Marie el Segatta.
• 0:50
  Speaker 5: Welcome to another edition of Dear Life Kit, where we
• 0:53
  Speaker 5: answer your questions with help from the collective wisdom in
• 0:56
  Speaker 5: our Life Kit archives. As always, reporter Andy Tagle is here. Hey, Andy, Hey,
• 1:01
  Speaker 5: and we also have our digital editor, Malica Grieve here.
• 1:04
  Speaker 6: Hello.
• 1:05
  Speaker 5: All right, Andy, you're gonna read some questions for us.
• 1:07
  Speaker 5: Let's hear the first one.
• 1:08
  Speaker 7: All right, let's do it, Dear life kid, how do
• 1:11
  Speaker 7: I kindly refuse a gift? Our next door neighbor is
• 1:15
  Speaker 7: older and has some mobility issues, So my partner and
• 1:18
  Speaker 7: I help where we can. We shovel her sidewalk, dig
• 1:21
  Speaker 7: out her car when it snows, bring out her trash,
• 1:24
  Speaker 7: and look out for her packages when we know she's away.
• 1:26
  Speaker 7: These are things I would do for literally anyone, and
• 1:29
  Speaker 7: that I hope someone will do for me when I
• 1:31
  Speaker 7: get older. Yesterday she gave us a thank you card
• 1:34
  Speaker 7: with a fifty dollars gift card. I'm touched by the
• 1:36
  Speaker 7: gesture and love the card, but I don't feel comfortable
• 1:39
  Speaker 7: taking the money for one, we don't need it. Secondly,
• 1:43
  Speaker 7: and perhaps most importantly, we didn't do it for payment.
• 1:47
  Speaker 7: We just want to be good neighbors, and accepting cash
• 1:49
  Speaker 7: for basic kindness doesn't fit into that ethooks, But is.
• 1:53
  Speaker 5: It rude to give it back?
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  Speaker 7: How do I demonstrate that I'm honored by her generosity
• 1:58
  Speaker 7: while make can't clear that we want nothing in return.
• 2:01
  Speaker 7: Thanks in advance as firing Fred Rogers.
• 2:04
  Speaker 5: You cannot give it back.
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: You can absolutely not give it back. That's correct response.
• 2:08
  Speaker 7: Okay, strong feelings.
• 2:09
  Speaker 4: Thanks for this question, Andy.
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: I'm happy to take this one because I actually have
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: a neighbor, mister Norman.
• 2:14
  Speaker 4: He's like in his eighties.
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: We bring them leftovers and we watch out for them,
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: check in on them. Missus Shirley over there, I also
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: check in on her. They do small things for us
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: in return. Right, Mister Norman comes by and he gives
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: me plants. His son came by and gave us peach
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: ice cream. So we look out for each other, and
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: I try to give him small activities to do so
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: that he feels like he's there's an equal relationship there
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: based on what I know he can do right. So
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: I guess the first thing that I want to say
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: is that one of our previous guests, Maya Lau, actually
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: talked about this in a Dear Life kit from twenty
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: twenty three. She's the host of Other People's Pockets, a
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: finance podcast, and she was answering a question from a
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: listener who said her partner's parents were way too generous
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: with our money and it made her feel comfortable, and
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: Law's response was this, don't always assume that other people
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: people's attitudes towards money are the same as your own.
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: So essentially, like your neighbor is giving you fifty bucks,
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: this might mean a lot to her. It might mean
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: something different to her than it does to you. Right,
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  Speaker 3: to you, you don't need this money, but to her
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  Speaker 3: it might be like this is like all I have.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, really big gesture, right yeah yeah. And it's like
• 3:20
  Speaker 5: if you return it, then it's almost like you're saying
• 3:24
  Speaker 5: that it's insignificant. I don't need this, you know. And
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  Speaker 5: I know that's not the intention, but that's how it
• 3:30
  Speaker 5: could be received, especially if it's like if she feels
• 3:33
  Speaker 5: like this is the only way I can pay you back.
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  Speaker 7: I just love that this is a question that was submitted,
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  Speaker 7: Like I think this is just such a lovely problem
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  Speaker 7: to have.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's true.
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  Speaker 7: I think you definitely should not give the money back,
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  Speaker 7: And I think it's okay to let your neighbor know
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  Speaker 7: how you feel.
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  Speaker 4: Like, yeah, exactly what would you say.
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  Speaker 7: My two cents? Is you know, like, thank you so
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  Speaker 7: much for this kind gesture. You know, we don't want
• 3:56
  Speaker 7: to take your money, but if you feel when we
• 3:58
  Speaker 7: start like a neighborhood for chip fun, like why don't
• 4:00
  Speaker 7: we use this to build a free little library or something?
• 4:03
  Speaker 7: You know, like why don't we use this to invest
• 4:05
  Speaker 7: in like more flowers for the neighborhood or something.
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  Speaker 4: Wait wait, wait would that make it? Would that make
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: your neighbor feel bad?
• 4:10
  Speaker 8: Though?
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  Speaker 4: It's like, well that he didn't even mean or want
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  Speaker 4: my money.
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  Speaker 7: Like no, I like I feel we feel uncomfortable taking
• 4:16
  Speaker 7: your money, but like I would love to use this
• 4:18
  Speaker 7: to invest in our friendship.
• 4:19
  Speaker 5: Maybe can we take you out to dinner?
• 4:21
  Speaker 6: Maybe?
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  Speaker 4: Or so I don't I don't know. I don't know
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  Speaker 4: about that, Andy. I feel like that's like a little too.
• 4:25
  Speaker 5: Like it's a gratitude we don't want your money.
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: It's kind of like putting the compliment back on you,
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: kind of like I wonder whether another way to say
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: it is like thank you so much for the money,
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  Speaker 3: Like what a thoughtful gesture, and then like leave it
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: at that and then maybe just say like, you know, honestly,
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: like we don't really expect, you know, anything from you,
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  Speaker 3: We just like love your presence and like reassure them
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  Speaker 3: that there's no need to reciprocate, and.
• 4:46
  Speaker 4: There's no debt. There's no debt, and there's.
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: Like a lot of love there and like they love
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: their relationship. And then and then you privately do whatever
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: the heck you want with your with a fifty bucks right.
• 4:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah, maybe you can set up the expectation for next
• 4:58
  Speaker 5: time that just you know, you really don't have to
• 5:01
  Speaker 5: give us money, but don't return the money that they
• 5:03
  Speaker 5: just gave you.
• 5:05
  Speaker 6: You know.
• 5:05
  Speaker 5: I was thinking about this yesterday because I have this
• 5:09
  Speaker 5: wrist injury, and so I was having a problem with
• 5:13
  Speaker 5: the garbage cans outside my building. They're filled with larva
• 5:17
  Speaker 5: right now, and I was like, I'm gonna have to
• 5:21
  Speaker 5: do something about this, Like how am I going to
• 5:23
  Speaker 5: clean these out? And I was like, am I gonna
• 5:27
  Speaker 5: have to hire someone to help? Because I just I
• 5:29
  Speaker 5: didn't even think immediately of asking anyone. It took me
• 5:33
  Speaker 5: going through being like I actually can't do this alone
• 5:36
  Speaker 5: to realize, like, you know what, I'm just gonna ask
• 5:39
  Speaker 5: my downstairs neighbors, who, by the way, these are their
• 5:42
  Speaker 5: garbage cans too. And it reminded me, though, that community
• 5:46
  Speaker 5: being a neighbor isn't just about doing things for other people.
• 5:49
  Speaker 5: It's letting them do things for you too, and letting
• 5:52
  Speaker 5: them see you in moments when like you are having
• 5:56
  Speaker 5: a hard time.
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: I also like think about like other creative ways that
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: you can and ask. Like everyone likes to have a reciprocal,
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: reciprocated relationship. No one likes to be like in debt
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: to someone, right, So like in addition to like telling
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: them like please, you're not indebted to us, like we
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: really love you, think about clearly now you know your
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: little spidy senses on that, Like, Okay, they want to
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: do something for me, So what are some things that
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: I know that they're capable of doing that they might
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: find joy.
• 6:21
  Speaker 4: In doing so.
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: Mister Norman is a woodworker, so like sometimes I'll like
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: bring over my old Ikia furniture and have him just
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: like tighten things up, and he loves that, so he's
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: helping me.
• 6:30
  Speaker 5: I love that you do that, Malka, that's a great idea.
• 6:33
  Speaker 5: We'll have more Dear Life Kit after the break.
• 6:37
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• 7:50
  Speaker 5: Let's move on to the next question. Yeah, let's do it.
• 7:53
  Speaker 7: Dear life kid, my boyfriend and I have been together
• 7:56
  Speaker 7: for almost a year. He's thirty, I'm twenty six. I
• 8:00
  Speaker 7: live on my own and he currently lives very comfortably
• 8:02
  Speaker 7: with his parents after moving back a few years ago.
• 8:05
  Speaker 7: When I bring up moving in together, he says he's
• 8:07
  Speaker 7: not ready because he wants to earn more money and
• 8:09
  Speaker 7: wants us to be together for longer before moving in together.
• 8:12
  Speaker 7: Currently we live in the same town, but I want
• 8:14
  Speaker 7: to move closer to work and more restaurants, which is
• 8:17
  Speaker 7: about a thirty minute drive away. Should I wait until
• 8:19
  Speaker 7: he's ready to move in with me and then make
• 8:21
  Speaker 7: you to some place together, or or should I move anyway?
• 8:26
  Speaker 7: Same same, same Malica.
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: I'm confused by this question.
• 8:31
  Speaker 7: Okay, So she basically our listener is ready to move
• 8:35
  Speaker 7: to a new place farther away from her boyfriend, but
• 8:37
  Speaker 7: her boyfriend's not ready to do that yet. So she's saying,
• 8:40
  Speaker 7: should I hold off from moving away until my boyfriend
• 8:43
  Speaker 7: is ready to move with me? Or should I just
• 8:45
  Speaker 7: go ahead and.
• 8:46
  Speaker 4: Move don't move anywhere, just stay where you are?
• 8:49
  Speaker 7: Right?
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: Is that the es?
• 8:50
  Speaker 5: But no, No, that's not what I was saying.
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: No, okay, okay, I mean my thought process.
• 8:56
  Speaker 7: Okay, all right, my take was no. My short answer
• 8:59
  Speaker 7: is just like girl, live your life.
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: Nor life?
• 9:02
  Speaker 5: What?
• 9:03
  Speaker 4: Oh my god? What, oh my gosh, no reason? Okay, sorry,
• 9:07
  Speaker 4: keep going.
• 9:08
  Speaker 7: They're not breaking up, she's just moving from one apartment
• 9:10
  Speaker 7: to another apartment. My take moving in together shouldn't it
• 9:14
  Speaker 7: be rushed, It shouldn't be taken lightly, and you shouldn't
• 9:16
  Speaker 7: just do it because you think it is the next
• 9:18
  Speaker 7: natural step. And I'm not saying that you can't be
• 9:20
  Speaker 7: ready to do that in less than a year, But personally,
• 9:24
  Speaker 7: I think it's a good sign that this boyfriend is
• 9:26
  Speaker 7: pumping the brakes a little bit. Also, I'm assuming that
• 9:30
  Speaker 7: you want to move in with the idea of staying
• 9:33
  Speaker 7: moved in together for the long haul, right, which means
• 9:36
  Speaker 7: there's a whole lot of cohabitation in the.
• 9:38
  Speaker 5: Future, No need to rush, right.
• 9:40
  Speaker 7: I want to offer a reframe here, which is think
• 9:42
  Speaker 7: of this as like a less Hurrah, an opportunity to
• 9:45
  Speaker 7: embrace your independence to the fullest, like a living just
• 9:47
  Speaker 7: for me era.
• 9:48
  Speaker 4: I guess my question is does he want to move
• 9:50
  Speaker 4: to the city.
• 9:51
  Speaker 5: No, we don't know, I mean, because yeah, I could
• 9:54
  Speaker 5: see it causing an issue. Maybe if he hates the
• 9:56
  Speaker 5: city and she's now moving to the city. That's more
• 9:58
  Speaker 5: of like a compatibility issue talking about where you guys
• 10:01
  Speaker 5: want to be long term. But but yeah, you can't
• 10:04
  Speaker 5: wait for someone else to It's literally life on hold essentially. Yeah,
• 10:09
  Speaker 5: they're not mutually exclusive. You can live in this other
• 10:12
  Speaker 5: place and still date your boyfriend. Like you're both making
• 10:14
  Speaker 5: the decisions that make financial sense and emotional sense for
• 10:17
  Speaker 5: you right now, and then when you're ready to, when
• 10:19
  Speaker 5: you're both ready to move in together, then you'll move
• 10:22
  Speaker 5: in together.
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: See know what I've come around. I've come around, and
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: I understand the point.
• 10:26
  Speaker 5: Now, what were you thinking before?
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: Here's what I was thinking.
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: I was thinking that like she was going to like
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: live her life without him and like leave him in
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: the dust, in the awful subfer I.
• 10:36
  Speaker 5: Don't think that's what she implied. Yeah, I don't think
• 10:38
  Speaker 5: she meant that. I would maybe interrogate myself if I
• 10:42
  Speaker 5: was thinking about doing this that, Like, am I in
• 10:45
  Speaker 5: any way moving because I want to pressure him to
• 10:49
  Speaker 5: move in with me sooner than he's ready? Like, am
• 10:52
  Speaker 5: I going to dangle the idea of moving as a Well,
• 10:56
  Speaker 5: I'm gonna move then I'm going to move by myself,
• 10:57
  Speaker 5: and I'm going to be thirty minutes away from you.
• 10:59
  Speaker 5: So I guess that's just what's gonna happen. Like, don't
• 11:03
  Speaker 5: just threaten it, you know, because you want him to
• 11:07
  Speaker 5: move in with you sooner because Andy, like you were saying,
• 11:09
  Speaker 5: it's if someone's not ready to move in with you,
• 11:12
  Speaker 5: you don't want to move in with them.
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: I agree with you, guys.
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: I do feel like it does sound a little bit
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: like there may be a mismatch in priorities and where
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: things are going now, Like it sounds like work and
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: like going out, and like going to restaurants and being
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: on the town might be a little bit of a priority.
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: And thirty minutes is quite a long time.
• 11:31
  Speaker 7: I agree on the mismatch priorities. You know, we had
• 11:33
  Speaker 7: an episode about this, about moving in together. We had
• 11:36
  Speaker 7: a great expert for this. Her name is Keana Lewis.
• 11:38
  Speaker 7: She's a sex educator and pleasure mentor, and she had
• 11:42
  Speaker 7: a full checklist for us about questions you should ask
• 11:45
  Speaker 7: before moving in together. So I think, listener, whoever you are,
• 11:49
  Speaker 7: whichever way you go, whether you're moving to the city,
• 11:50
  Speaker 7: whether you're staying back, you need to have these conversations
• 11:55
  Speaker 7: and be intentional about this decision because there are a
• 11:58
  Speaker 7: lot of things that you need to consider before moving in.
• 12:02
  Speaker 7: You don't want to be hasty, like what benefit does
• 12:06
  Speaker 7: moving in together bring to your life, into your relationship,
• 12:09
  Speaker 7: and then just a lot of practical things like do
• 12:11
  Speaker 7: you listen to something as you sleep? You know, how
• 12:14
  Speaker 7: dark do you need it to be? That is something
• 12:16
  Speaker 7: that I did not figure out about my relationship until
• 12:19
  Speaker 7: after we moved in and my husband and I are
• 12:21
  Speaker 7: diametrically a post He sleeps with the light.
• 12:23
  Speaker 5: On, no opposite.
• 12:24
  Speaker 7: He needs absolute like total complete sensory deprivation.
• 12:28
  Speaker 4: Same.
• 12:28
  Speaker 7: But then also these bigger things, you know, like it
• 12:30
  Speaker 7: seems like he has a lot of money values. You
• 12:32
  Speaker 7: need to line up on these things.
• 12:33
  Speaker 5: Yeah, we have lots of life kid episodes on that.
• 12:35
  Speaker 5: Not just about if you're about to move in together,
• 12:37
  Speaker 5: but if you're in a relationship and you're talking about money,
• 12:42
  Speaker 5: What questions to ask each other? How to figure out
• 12:44
  Speaker 5: if you're compatible long term and short term?
• 12:47
  Speaker 4: Listener, Please, don't get mad at my reaction.
• 12:50
  Speaker 5: That's it another asterisk that will add to every episode.
• 12:55
  Speaker 5: Don't get mad at Molica. She's just saying how she feels.
• 12:59
  Speaker 5: We'll have one our listener question after the break.
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• 13:33
  Speaker 7: All right, last question, dear life kid. I'm a romantic
• 13:37
  Speaker 7: and asexual, so I have no interest in dating or sexuality.
• 13:41
  Speaker 7: But now that I'm in my thirties, I'm seeing more
• 13:43
  Speaker 7: and more of my peers get married and have kids,
• 13:45
  Speaker 7: and I'm feeling more and more isolated. This year, my
• 13:48
  Speaker 7: twin brother got married. I feel like I'll never count
• 13:51
  Speaker 7: as an adult because I'm not going to quote graduate
• 13:54
  Speaker 7: to being or having a steps. I don't know how
• 13:56
  Speaker 7: to cope with the intensity of the alienation, even when
• 13:59
  Speaker 7: I'm by my family and friends. What can I do
• 14:03
  Speaker 7: to understand my place in the world better?
• 14:05
  Speaker 5: Oh, but it's painful. It's a painful place to be.
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: Love to you.
• 14:11
  Speaker 5: Yeah, there are a lot of people who are in
• 14:14
  Speaker 5: the same situation as you. They may be a romantic
• 14:17
  Speaker 5: or a sexual, they may just not have found the
• 14:19
  Speaker 5: partner who's a good fit for them. There are a
• 14:22
  Speaker 5: lot of people who've decided not to have kids. We
• 14:24
  Speaker 5: did an episode on how to be child Free, and
• 14:27
  Speaker 5: part of that was about building your village. One thing
• 14:32
  Speaker 5: that comes up a lot is like everyone says, you know,
• 14:35
  Speaker 5: I want to go to a dinner party, or I
• 14:38
  Speaker 5: wish I had friends who hosted something like that. But
• 14:41
  Speaker 5: you could be that person even if you just have,
• 14:44
  Speaker 5: like you know one or two people in your life
• 14:47
  Speaker 5: who you really enjoy hanging out with, invite them over.
• 14:51
  Speaker 5: You can also create a routine with people who don't
• 14:56
  Speaker 5: even have to know each other. Like I did this
• 14:58
  Speaker 5: with a group of friends who I like, introduce them
• 15:00
  Speaker 5: all to each other. We have a monthly community dinner,
• 15:04
  Speaker 5: and we know to expect it.
• 15:06
  Speaker 7: The word that stuck out to me was graduate. Yes,
• 15:10
  Speaker 7: you know, because I was like, who hands out the
• 15:14
  Speaker 7: diplomas for adulthood? Who says you don't get to be
• 15:17
  Speaker 7: an adult because you're not going to be partnered or
• 15:19
  Speaker 7: you don't have kids. I know a ton of married
• 15:22
  Speaker 7: people who are not grown ups. There's a lot of
• 15:24
  Speaker 7: parents who are lonely a lot of the time. There
• 15:26
  Speaker 7: are a lot of people who are married or a partner, yeah,
• 15:28
  Speaker 7: who are lonely a lot at the time, you know
• 15:30
  Speaker 7: what I mean, And not to say that, like your
• 15:32
  Speaker 7: feelings are totally valid, but you also don't have to
• 15:35
  Speaker 7: choose to live in them. I think like Maryel's advice
• 15:37
  Speaker 7: is very sound, like you don't have to keep going
• 15:40
  Speaker 7: to couples activities, and you can like turn down the
• 15:43
  Speaker 7: invitations that don't feel good, right, turn down the places
• 15:46
  Speaker 7: that don't feel good. I feel like that's what graduating
• 15:49
  Speaker 7: to adulthood is.
• 15:51
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, because I think what ends up happening is
• 15:53
  Speaker 5: that if you're not married and you don't have kids,
• 15:56
  Speaker 5: you end up feeling like just an extra, like a
• 15:59
  Speaker 5: plus with their.
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: Wheel, the past one, the third wheel, the.
• 16:01
  Speaker 5: Fourth wheel, whatever to somebody else's family. And I think
• 16:05
  Speaker 5: what can be painful is that a lot of people,
• 16:08
  Speaker 5: when they get to a certain age, they get married,
• 16:11
  Speaker 5: they have kids, they create their own little families. And
• 16:15
  Speaker 5: so if you don't do those things, then you feel
• 16:17
  Speaker 5: like you don't have your own little family. You're like,
• 16:20
  Speaker 5: I'm just out here bopping around on my own. But
• 16:24
  Speaker 5: you can create your own family, it's just gonna look different.
• 16:27
  Speaker 5: And these can be people your own age. They can
• 16:30
  Speaker 5: be people older than you, they can be people younger
• 16:33
  Speaker 5: than you. You're someone who people want to have around,
• 16:38
  Speaker 5: regardless of who you bring with you, and you can
• 16:40
  Speaker 5: build your own family. It just takes time.
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: Snaps of that.
• 16:47
  Speaker 5: Love that, and specifically around the a romantic asexual part,
• 16:53
  Speaker 5: we did an episode about celibacy, and this was about
• 16:56
  Speaker 5: taking a period of celibacy. It wasn't a necessarily for
• 17:00
  Speaker 5: people who are asexual, but it was for people who
• 17:05
  Speaker 5: just wanted to pause the pursuit of sex and romance
• 17:09
  Speaker 5: for a time. And I thought it was really beautiful
• 17:13
  Speaker 5: hearing people talk about what that did for them. It
• 17:16
  Speaker 5: basically allows you to experience all the other pleasures of
• 17:20
  Speaker 5: life and they almost get like turned up when you're
• 17:24
  Speaker 5: eating like a really fresh ripe peach or like a
• 17:28
  Speaker 5: beautiful raspberry, you know, or you're playing a sport. It's
• 17:33
  Speaker 5: about feeling the sensations of your body and so that
• 17:37
  Speaker 5: is all available to you too. You're a romantic and asexual,
• 17:40
  Speaker 5: but that doesn't mean you can't live your life in
• 17:43
  Speaker 5: color and experience pleasure.
• 17:46
  Speaker 6: I love that.
• 17:47
  Speaker 5: Good luck to you. We know you'll find your people.
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: I'll find your people.
• 17:50
  Speaker 5: All right, that's our show. If you have a question
• 17:53
  Speaker 5: for Life Kid, send it to us. We want to
• 17:55
  Speaker 5: hear your questions about money, about health, about staying organized,
• 17:59
  Speaker 5: exer sizing, breakups, difficult friends, whatever you got. Go to
• 18:05
  Speaker 5: NPR dot org slash dear life Kit to submit your question,
• 18:08
  Speaker 5: or even better, record yourself asking it so we can
• 18:11
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• 18:13
  Speaker 5: file to Life Kit at NPR dot org.
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: This episode of.
• 18:17
  Speaker 5: Life Kit was produced by Sylvia Douglas. Our digital editor
• 18:21
  Speaker 5: is Malica garib Our visuals editor is CJ. Rikalon. Megan
• 18:24
  Speaker 5: Kane is our senior supervising editor, and Lauren Gonzalez is
• 18:28
  Speaker 5: our executive producer. Our production team also includes Claire Marie Schneider,
• 18:32
  Speaker 5: Margaret Serino, and Kayla Latimore. Engineering support comes from Travis Hagen.
• 18:37
  Speaker 5: I'm Mariel Sagara. Thanks for listening.
• 18:45
  Speaker 10: It's hard to refine your taste when everything in your
• 18:47
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• 18:50
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• 18:53
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• 18:56
  Speaker 10: on It's Been a Minute, culture critic and host of
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  Speaker 10: the new podcast Feedback in The third takes our hand
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• 19:09
  Speaker 11: The midterms are coming, and that means the news cycle,
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• 19:15
  Speaker 11: this fall. So this summer is a perfect time to
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• 19:21
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