Latest / Just Us Sisters / Episode 18: Small Town vs Big City
Transcript
- speaker-0: Welcome to the Just A Sisters podcast. Life doesn't come with a manual, so we made a podcast. speaker-1: Hi, welcome to Just Us Sisters Podcast. I am so glad that you are joining us today for Small Town versus Big City. I'm Susan. I am hosting us. I want to introduce my sisters to you: Cheryl number two, Shelly number three, and Stacy number four. I was reading some interesting data on small town versus big city. I wanted to see what y'all thought. Where do you think most people live in the small town? Smaller towns, like percentage of America. I just wanna do a quick test. Small towns or big cities? speaker-2: I think big cities. speaker-3: Small towns. Small towns. speaker-1: I did too. Stacy, you are right. In the last American census, 80% of Americans lived in urban areas and only 20% in rural areas. What? Yeah, I know, that shocked me. Because I really thought that most of the people lived in small town America. speaker-2: That's why when people vote, the larger city areas have such an impact because there's so many people there. That's why I said it. speaker-1: A a key point is that many Americans think they don't live in a city, but if they live in the suburbs, which some several of us have lived in the suburbs of a large metro area. speaker-4: ⁓ so you're including s well suburbs. speaker-2: Is Austin considered a metro area? is it just Dallas and Houston? ⁓ speaker-1: Well, I don't know. Like it's in the metro area? speaker-2: ⁓ okay. speaker-1: Well, metropolitan areas do include the suburbs. So I probably should have told y'all that up front. Yeah. I honestly thought that most people lived in small town USA. And since we're talking about that, I just wanna kinda see where have y'all lived, like small town versus city, and how long did you live there, just for some background on today's discussion. ⁓ speaker-3: lived in I consider three small towns. I lived in Gerrell and that was for like three years. And Windsboro for about three years total. And now Bertram for about three months. speaker-1: Okay? speaker-2: all over the place because we've lived in Houston. Cheryl, you've lived in Houston. speaker-1: Houston Two Sure. speaker-3: No, I was just talking about small small town. ⁓ speaker-1: I want everyone to know if you've lived in cities, small speaker-3: ⁓ okay. All right, Houston too. speaker-2: Houston, Denton, which I think is a suburb-ish of Dallas, kind of maybe. I don't know. And then Round Rock, which is a suburb. Gosh, I'm not going to call them out. Probably more cities than small towns, if you include the suburbs. Yeah. speaker-1: What about you, Shelley? Well speaker-4: See, I don't consider suburbs big cities. So I did live in Houston, from there Leander, which has eighty seven thousand, to Liberty Hill, which has fifteen thousand. I could speaker-2: Liberty Hill only has 15,000 speaker-4: I just looked it up. speaker-1: Well growing up we all grew up in the suburb of San Antonio and then when I got married I lived in like the smallest town that I've ever lived in in my life. Yeah. speaker-2: that most people. speaker-1: Yes. Four hundred and sixty nine and I'm thinking they're counting the cattle too. But in Oglesby outside of Waco. Then we moved to Houston, which we lived there for sixteen years. And then we left Houston, moved to the suburbs of Houston, lived there thirty, then we lived in small town, not small town like Oglesby, but Alvin, Texas for almost two years. And now we're living in a very small it's not even a city, it's considered a village. But it has more people than Oglesby did. And Oglesby was a town. So I kind of feel like I've been in both and have enjoyed both, honestly. And I think y'all probably could say the same. But what's one vivid memory that you guys had that made you realize this is why I love blank, like big city or this is why I love small towns. speaker-4: Well, I'm probably different from my sisters as usual, but my preference would be truly in a big city, not suburb, but a big city. And living where we live now, I miss the conveniences that are just literally in a big city, walk out your door and around the corner could be what you need to to get. But out here it is peaceful and it is quiet. So there's pros and cons to both. speaker-3: I tend to lean toward the smaller town. I love the small town atmosphere of people waving at you. If you're sitting in a coffee shop, you if you're gonna talk to somebody, you're gonna be there for a while because you're gonna know everything about them and they're gonna know everything about you. And well, I just love that. And they truly care. Like if they say, How you doing, they actually really wanna know. I don't know if it's to tell other people or, you know, to pray for you or what, but it does seem like they care. speaker-2: Hey, I think it's funny how Shelly, you were all around the conveniences and Cheryl's all around the people. I don't know, that just, I think that's what it would boil down to, right? I liked them both. It was seasonal for me. I liked being close to everything where you could practically walk to go eat dinner to, if I had my preference now in this time of my life, I would like to be as far out in a small town or country ranch as I could get. just that peace and looking in the sky at night and seeing the stars and the quietness and just slowing down. speaker-1: One thing that when Tom and I met many moons ago, one thing that I told him is that I would never move to Houston because I had in my mind, you know, city and crowded and congested and crime. I just didn't like big areas like that. And as God would have it, ⁓ four years after we married, we moved to Houston of all places. And honestly, it surprised me how the people just just all the conveniences of the theater and and going to see concerts and so that was really a nice part of that transition from a small town to a city and it really did surprise me. I had to tell tell ⁓ I'm sorry that I said I'd never moved to Houston. Because it ended up being a beautiful experience. What kind of rhythms and stressors do you see how they these different Big city versus small town differ. Do you see any difference or not? speaker-2: I think when we moved from Cedar Park, I think it was 2011 or 2012 to Columbus, it was like a, know, like that song, Luke and Bob, get down to what really matters. And we slowed down and I think that was a much needed time and it was refreshing. So yeah, I think there's big differences there. speaker-1: still working. So in my life when I'm driving home I'm looking for quiet, peace, you know, but I'm still driving from the city to the country. So I still have the stressors of transportation and and stuff like that. But the rhythm seems to be so much slower here than ⁓ when when we lived in the city. Cheryl are you finding that speaker-3: Well, I remember in Windsboro, we'd be out working and Johnny said, I gotta run into town to the hardware store real quick. So he'd leave and I'd still be out working on the place and I was like, Wow, it's been a long time. And then he'd he'd finally get back and said, ⁓ my gosh, what what took you so long? He said, Well, I had to talk to everybody I bumped into at the hardware store. I didn't know ⁓ but they want to know where we're from and surely you're not from California and all these things. And so we you just have to know it's a very slowed down way of life. The stressor is lower, but you can't Like Shelley ⁓ wants things at the snap of her fingers. That's not how it works here. Or I mean here or a small town. Yeah. speaker-4: I would say I've been more stressed in the year that we've lived in what is truly considered a small town, but mainly because of the planning involved to get places, the time that it takes to get anywhere. I mean, we were literally I mean, fifteen minutes was pushing it, getting it, getting to anywhere we wanted to go. And now, you know, it it's longer. And ⁓ I get out less because of that. So socially I am not experiencing as much social life as I was. Yeah. speaker-3: Yeah, all the lunch ladies and on Thursday Where Sh speaker-2: ⁓ You're missing lunch? speaker-3: ⁓ She's miss they they're like, Where is she? speaker-4: So way out there. speaker-1: Hey, yeah. I invite people to come out to dinner to our house. They said, Do we need to pack a bag? Yes. ⁓ my gosh. It's thirty minutes. speaker-3: No. ⁓ speaker-2: I always want to invite my peers out, you know, for dinner to enjoy Casey's cooking, not mine, but his. And I feel like they're like, that's like an all day event. speaker-1: Even my kids. My kids are like, We have to drive all the way out there Yeah. So what's something you took for granted in one setting, whether it was the small town or the large city that became a major pain point or it could have become a a it was a luxury. And then when you switch to the other you realize, ⁓ my, this is a problem or ⁓ my, this is wonderful. speaker-3: Yeah, that's true. speaker-4: think for us it's back to the conveniences and distance. ⁓ moving where we moved my husband's commute is now an hour and that's taking tolls. And so obviously that's an inconvenience. I think in small towns you're more aware of the politics than in the big city because it's all the talk of the town. And I don't always consider that a positive. Well speaker-3: I had to look at my paper because I still I was having a hard time thinking, what do I miss? H E B being five minute away. Yes. We got the Dollar General. speaker-2: ⁓ yeah. speaker-1: General, we have that too. But they they don't have all the speaker-3: Well they don't have meat. speaker-1: And speaker-4: Eat vegetables from Dollar General. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-2: Mine is conveniences as well. H-U-D. Although I do order. We live far enough out we don't have one but close enough that we can have them delivered. Yeah, you don't? Have you tried? I've tried. 495 plus tip. Wow. Not bad. think speaker-3: I I think Kerb said speaker-1: The conveniences like y'all said with the grocery store. Mm-hmm. And you know, it used to be I would go to the grocery store every day when I lived in the city. Wow. Yeah. And and it was you know, seven minutes from my house. Now when we go we go once a week and we make sure that we get everything that we need in doubles, you know, so we don't run out. 'Cause you can't just run run up there. speaker-2: I the grocery store. Bye. There's Amazon. You can have Amazon deliver. speaker-1: Well, Amazon, yeah. But it it not only is a inconvenience, but I'm not very organized. And so to be organized on like planning ahead on like Shelly said, the time, planning ahead on meals. I I don't plan who do y'all plan ahead on meals? Like you know what you're having Friday? No. I don't. speaker-3: I know Shelley knows. She's having pizza. speaker-4: Friday's RP. speaker-1: ⁓ Fridays are pizza night. Well speaker-3: Every Friday. So if you don't want pizza, don't go order Shelley's. speaker-2: We plan our meals out, but we have to because I order the groceries and so we plan it based off of what we have order. So yeah. speaker-1: In the big cities, people often say that you have more and Shelley would probably agree with this, more options, right? We can all agree to that. But then it I've heard people say, more options but shallower connections. In small town, it's the opposite. Has that been y'all's experience? speaker-2: I think your tribe is where you are. ⁓ When we moved to Columbus, I loved it there and I loved the people, but they already had their connections. They lived there forever. They'd been friends forever. People my age grew up there and getting into one of those groups wasn't easy for me to do. Probably very lonely there. Had friends, but didn't have that deep. speaker-4: Mm-hmm. Yeah. speaker-2: connection because they already had that. And so I think that you have to be ready for that if you're going to move to a small town where people grow up and don't leave because they love it. ⁓ speaker-1: The same experience, Stacey, when we moved to Alvin. We weren't very long. We were just living there ⁓ while our home was being built. But it we moved into a home that we owned there. And so I thought, ⁓ this is gonna be awesome. We'll get to know these neighbors and I waited about six weeks and no one came over and introduced themselves. And this is a small town. Alvin's like About twenty seven thousand. And I mean we had people like right there. And so I thought, Well, I'm gonna make banana nut bread and take it to everyone and go introduce myself. And it was so weird because I went over and said, Hey, just letting you know we're new to the neighborhood and just wanted to bring you some banana nut bread. I'm Susan Allen, you know, just and they were like, ⁓ thank you and a couple of them would, you know, visit, but I just thought Wait a minute, I thought small towns were supposed to be friendly and you know, just it I just didn't find that to be the case. speaker-3: I think that ⁓ mom and dad brought us up though to be hospitable when we meet people. It doesn't matter who they are. If they're new, you go and introduce yourself and like you did, if they don't, then you go introduce yourself. Yeah. And I in Windsboro everybody was telling us it's hard to break in there. It's not if you you break them in. And that's what we did. speaker-1: How did you begin to build me meaningful relationships? speaker-3: You go to church, you do what Johnny did. He he took the time, thirty minutes, in tractor supply, in in the hardware stores, at Berkshire's and d you know, just started meeting people. When you go get your tire changed, don't just drop the car off and leave. Drop the car off and and start talking to the the people. Yeah. So that's I that was hard to leave. ⁓ Winsboro 'cause we had developed well we I had already known a lot of ⁓ through the church thirty something years ago. But we had, you know, reignited some friendships and and made a lot of new friends too. I speaker-1: I think must be a hardware store personality because Tom would go to Patco Ace Hardware in Alvin, Texas, and he would stay there forever. And after a while people would call his name. If I went with them, they'd go, Hey Tom, how you doing? And yeah. Just it must you know there's something about the hardware store. speaker-3: Hardware stores and coffee shops. Cafes. Little like the junction here. And the speaker-1: We live twenty minutes from Alvin now and he still drives the PACCO Hardware. speaker-3: Really? Yeah, because that's funny. speaker-1: So friendly and always helpful. So but that's a great w ⁓ idea of building relationships. Do you know that when we moved to ro to this neighborhood, they had a hospitality committee and a welcoming band. Wow. There were three or four women that came and brought homemade items and towel and ⁓ speaker-3: ⁓ huh. That's neat. speaker-1: Yeah. And it just made me feel so much a part of this community. So any other ways y'all found to build relationships in in these small or or in cities? speaker-2: When we moved to Berry Creek, was in the first of October. And so for Halloween, the weekend before Halloween, we took all our neighbors' plates. It was like cake ball, you know, ghost cake balls and cookies. And we just called it a boo plate and introduced ourselves. Boo. Yeah, boo. ⁓ Boo. Not boo like that, Cheryl. Boo. speaker-3: You're my new bitch. my new bitch. speaker-2: Not boo like that, Cheryl. Boo. speaker-1: Były ze mnie. ze mnie. speaker-2: What? No, it wasn't scary. It's just what we called it. I saw it No, it wasn't scary. It's just what we called it. I saw speaker-1: Interesting. speaker-4: Boo. speaker-3: ⁓ it wasn't it. speaker-1: But you're my boo. That No you're my boo. No speaker-3: ⁓ she got it on Pinterest, I'm sure. she got it on Pinterest, speaker-2: It was a boo. A boo plate. ⁓ was ⁓ boo. A boo plate. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-3: Boom like speaker-4: Boo. speaker-1: question. I wanna say something about this so real quick. I found and I'm and I just was thinking about this when when I knew we were gonna talk about this subject. I found people in the city to be friendlier. And wow and this is why I'm thinking this. People were moving from all over. I mean, people there was someone from Alaska, there was someone from New York. ⁓ there were people moving in, they were all new, they you know, they had not lived in Texas all their life, and I I found them to be very Very easy to ⁓ to get to know. speaker-4: They're looking for a connection. speaker-2: Yeah, they're looking for their tribe. Yeah. speaker-1: And 'cause we were all in the same boat when we ⁓ when I moved to Pearland, it was a new it was even a new subdivision. So everyone was new there. Yeah. And some of ⁓ weren't from there. And it was very easy to get to know them. And one thing too I noticed about the city was it was much more multicultural. I didn't notice that about small towns. I don't know if y'all have noticed that. And so we basically raised our kids around all different races that spoke different languages. and I love that that they got to meet people from different places. We all alike, you know? Yeah. So and Cheryl mentioned this, I wanna just say real quick. Cheryl mentioned the role that the church played for her in meeting people in a small town environment. What other areas or what other roles did the church or coffee shops or you know even re small restaurants play in to meet people or to become more involved in that community, those smaller community. speaker-2: Mine was the kids sport, the other parents and the moms meeting at the locker room to decorate or to pray over the kids the night before when they're not there. I think that was one of the biggest was because that's who we were around all the time. speaker-4: Church plays a big part, regardless of where we live, just developing relationships there. But we all, I think we all like to meet new people that that never has scared us or, you know, didn't appeal to us. And so, you know, sometimes you make a connection and sometimes you've just met a new person. But ⁓ the opportunity is always there. I think Liberty Hill tries to have that you ain't from around here attitude. speaker-2: Are there still some, Shelly? There are. speaker-4: There are a lot of ⁓ are moving out toward Bertram and and such, but there are some diehards. speaker-3: We welcome all redneck everybody else. speaker-4: Digging their boots in. speaker-2: You are transplant Cheryl into Bertram. speaker-3: Yeah, but I fit right in speaker-2: One thing that I've noticed about Gerald is that they are trying so hard, the old timers, which I consider myself, trying so hard to keep it quaint and small. And it's a losing battle. You just can't do it. speaker-4: With Stacy saying that it reminded me because when we moved to Leander in the early 1980s, there were 1,500 people. It was truly a small town. And like I said at the beginning of this episode, it now has over 87,000. And so that kind of broke my heart because the small town of ⁓ Leander is is no more. And what's making it even worse is the people moving in want to change it. And I thought, what drew you to this place to begin with? And, you know, why would you want to change it? But, you know, in this area that we a lot of us live in, you know, you're not gonna stop the growth. It's just kind of sad to see sometimes. speaker-1: You know, you said that in Pearland when we moved to Pearland there were about thirty five, thirty-seven thousand and now there's a hundred and thirty thousand. But it's and it grew it grew exponentially and where we weren't prepared for it. Yeah. Prepared in a lot of ways. So what's one stereotype about the city or the small town that you wish would die? speaker-4: Yeah. speaker-2: think that people think people are friendlier in small towns and big cities. And I think that that would make people not go and try and make friends sometimes because they are afraid of what the people are going to be like. speaker-1: Maybe that's why we have the majority of the people living in the urban areas. speaker-3: I think it for the small towns I think it's okay to to do what Stacy said to to try to keep the quaintness of it. But you also have to be a little progressive because if people are wanting to move here, they're probably gonna move here and they're gonna need water and they're gonna need sewage. And so we have to try to to keep up with the growth because everything's getting pushed out to small towns, whether we want it or not. So we can still keep the quaint of the city, the small, but we gotta stay up to date or we'll be in trouble. speaker-4: Well, I know back in the late seventies, early eighties, Austin, the powers that be, took the attitude, if we don't build it, they won't come. Well, they came. And so for the last forty years, they've been trying to play catch up with the influx of people that have come. And that's definitely not the way. You're right, Cheryl. That's not the way to handle it. It's just sad though to see the the true small town spirit be replaced, especially when you were a part of the small town. Mm-hmm. speaker-1: So if you had to bring one strength from like the small town to let's say you move to the city, or if you were moving from the city to the small town, what's one strength that you would bring with you to it? A speaker-4: T B. speaker-3: Amen. speaker-2: I think it's the convenience of big city to the small town without it impacting your small town. speaker-4: Impossible. speaker-1: I don't think so. speaker-2: I don't know. You didn't say it had to be possible. speaker-1: Didn't what's one string? speaker-3: True. speaker-2: ⁓ And then I think how slow life can get and feel in a small town if you could take that to the big city. speaker-3: Mm-hmm. That's what I put. Just blow the roll. speaker-1: Slow it down. Yeah. Slow the roll. speaker-4: Yeah, I agree. speaker-2: Go to Luke and Bulk Texas. speaker-3: Wait and we will and the boys. Yeah. That's how we can sing. 'Cause we don't have the speaker-2: No rights to that song. speaker-1: We went to Lucanbach two weeks ago. That was my first time. And was so laid back. I mean so quiet and there was live music if anyone speaker-2: I've never been. speaker-3: Did they sit around that fire ring and just kinda pick on the guitars? speaker-1: They did have a stage small stage. It wasn't like the stage you think about. Right. And guess who was singing? I couldn't tell you any of their names, but they are people that are songwriters, up and coming songwriters. ⁓ And they just had their guitars and it was so good. It was so simple. And s you know, no lights, no drums, just acoustics. Well, but I mean it was just made it simple. speaker-3: Well I know. speaker-1: So what's one thing you would do to make where you live a better place? speaker-2: When you said you had that welcoming committee in your neighborhood, I thought that would make somebody instantly feel at home, I think. And I love that idea. I may go try and implement that in my life. speaker-1: I wanna shout out to Susan Young's, my neighbor, who was on that welcoming committee, and Rhonda Killen. They did. They made us feel very welcomed and special. So speaker-3: think wherever you are that you should meet as many people and truly meet ⁓ not just on the surface as you can and get involved in your community and try to keep it on top of everything. speaker-4: me, ⁓ just being content no matter where I am. That old adage, grass is always greener. If you're always looking where you're not, you're not content. And I think being content is is the most important. speaker-2: That's my word of the year, Shelly. speaker-4: ⁓ that's a good one. That's a good one. speaker-2: ⁓ I fight that, but I'm working on that. speaker-1: one thing that and I I I did it in Alvin and I I did it here and that was open my home up to people and just love on them, get to know their story, get to know who they are. I had out on my driveway, we had just a back in November, we had a chilly night and we invited everyone on the block. And our block is Pretty spread out. We're on acreage, but I invited, I think we had thirty families invited, and fifteen showed up. So half. We had name tags and I took pictures of everyone with their name tags so we would remember who they are and just got to visit with them. Some people had lived here twelve years and didn't know the people down the street from them. Wow. speaker-2: That's good. speaker-3: How do you feed speaker-2: Did you make all the chili or did you do like a chili cook-off? speaker-1: we just we made all the chili and said we'll we'll have the chili and if you want to bring something that goes with chili bring your own drink and your own chair. Mm-hmm. And people drinks and we just had a good time out on the driveway. There was you know there was quite a few of and so we just had a great time. And they said, Hey are we gonna do this next month? speaker-3: Great idea. Yeah, you get to make the chili. speaker-1: Who wants to volunteer? And I I'm sad to say that we I've had a couple of people ask, Hey, when are we gonna do our next one? And that was November. Here we are in June. So it's been over six months. That's speaker-2: Well, you get to plan it. I know. Plan it for next year. Or this year. speaker-1: out there again. speaker-4: Well, in our neighborhood, we were the newbies in the cul-de-sac and trying to g get to know the other neighbors. And in the course of the past year, our next door neighbor moved. And so we have a new neighbor coming in and I'm looking forward to ⁓ their their coming in over the course of six months. So once they are in and settled, we are going to have a cul-de-sac pool party and have everyone come and we're really looking forward to that. Just getting to know the ones that we've already met better and getting to know our new neighbors and introducing them to the cul-de-sac neighbors. speaker-2: So. speaker-1: That's good. Okay, real quick. We're about to wrap it up and we did this on another episode. So I don't have a lot of rapid fire questions, but I'm gonna throw some out there. Okay. I'm not gonna answer. I just want y'all three. That way I'm speaker-3: I know. speaker-1: No no just answer first thing that comes across your mind and then I'm gonna wrap it up with a couple of things. We're done. No pri no prize. Okay, ready? Best food scene or town? Town. speaker-2: No button. Family sweet button. speaker-3: No prizes. Okay. I'll relax. Okay. speaker-4: City has more to offer. speaker-2: I think it depends on what kind of food you want. That doesn't make it rapid fire when you go into the detail. speaker-1: Doesn't but best place to raise kids. Okay. I would have said city. ⁓ best dating scene. speaker-3: 'Cause I know what happens in those pasture parties. Pasture pasture parties. speaker-1: Okay. Okay. ⁓ speaker-3: Not like as in the pastor of the church. speaker-1: Wait, what? Okay. Best music. speaker-2: City. speaker-4: Sitting. speaker-3: Definitely city. ⁓ speaker-1: ⁓ no. speaker-4: Yeah, but you've been to some great concerts in the city. speaker-1: Yeah, we have. We have. Best dating scene. City. You don't want your girls marrying farm boys? speaker-3: They can marry whoever they want. speaker-1: Stacy, you didn't say. What was yours? speaker-2: No, I haven't dated in 40 years. speaker-1: Best place to retire. speaker-2: Yeah. Shall we? speaker-4: Yeah. speaker-1: Okay, see? Well, I'm gonna tell you that ⁓ on the best food scene, I know most of y'all said small town, but ⁓ we were on the way to Cheryl's birthday celebration and we stopped in East Bernard at a barbecue place called Vince. ⁓ maybe it's Vinchek's 'cause it it is a Czech place. So good. Probably one of the best barbecue places I've eaten at. Wow. We had about four or five people stop constantly walking by. Everything okay? Y'all need anything? I was like, ⁓ that's so cool. So I want to do a shout out to the Vincecks, and I'm probably speaker-3: Butchered it. speaker-1: I hope that y'all have enjoyed just our discussion on small town versus big city. And some of you may be from the big city and see things differently or from a small town and want to be in the big city. I don't know. We would love to hear your feedback, questions, comments, whatever. Just let us know. But also we want to say thank you for joining us. We know that you can spend your time anywhere and we appreciate you spending your time with us. Next week we will have episode 19. Shelly will be hosting it on celebrating America's 250th birthday and patriotism. So I hope you will join us for that. Until then, remember life is messy, meaningful, and better when shared. Thank you. Like us. speaker-2: and subscribe. speaker-3: Bye.