Latest / Delulu with Ryan Lu / Where Did Ryn Weaver Go? Her First Interview in 10 Years | Delulu with Ryan Lu #111

Transcript

Where Did Ryn Weaver Go? Her First Interview in 10 Years | Delulu with Ryan Lu #111 · Delulu with Ryan Lu

• 0:00
  And he blocked my ass. And that's my beef with Tululu.
• 0:03
  And we're bleeping that name. My God.
• 0:05
  Brett is so shook right now. It's been 10 years since the
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  release of the Fool. A full ass decade and you
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  essentially ran away. What happened in between the
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  time from the Fool and now? Where were you?
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  I was everywhere. Oh yeah.
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  It's like life doesn't cease because you were not being
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  perceived. Hi Fool Lulu's and welcome back
• 0:39
  to Delulu. Today, we are joined by the
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  lucive mystical siren herself, Ren Weaver, who burst onto the
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  music scene a decade ago with her cult classic The Fool,
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  which, by the way, is one of my favorite albums of all time.
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  It literally changed my life. We're going to get into it.
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  But she is back now with new music, new lore and ready to
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  reclaim her story and narrative. Hi Rin, thank you for joining
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  The Lulu. Thank you for having me.
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  Wait, I'm so intimidated. You're so like, you're real.
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  Like, what the heck? We've been talking right before
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  the show, but like, now, now that we're doing this, I'm like,
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  Oh my God. Hi.
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  We're killing it. We are doing it well.
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  Rin, thank you so much for joining us.
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  We have a lot we're going to get into.
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  There's a lot to discuss. And we're going to we're going
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  to talk about all of it. Well, first, for anyone who
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  doesn't already know, Rin is an incredible artist.
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  And she has, like I said, one of my favorite albums of all time,
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  The Fool, which is actually based on the tarot card The
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  Fool. And we love Tarot here at the
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  Lulu. But before we get into The Fool,
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  we wanted to know about Rin. What is Rin's origin story?
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  You're from Argentina. Yes, sold to Argentina.
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  So Rin's not actually from Argentina, but when she 1st
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  debuted 10 years ago, a lot of press said you're from
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  Argentina. I think it was like a fan army
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  thing back in the day. I feel like I got trolled and
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  they kept, they ran putting it back into the Wikipedia.
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  So I so many interviews they're like, what was it like growing
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  up in Argentina? Well.
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  What was it like growing up in Argentina?
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  I'm. Like, I'm from San Diego, I'm
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  from Leucadia, but I'm glad you did your research.
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  Of course. Oh my God, I know everything
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  about you and we're about to know so much more about you too.
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  We actually. OK, so I'm a huge fan of Rin and
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  I've seen her in concert a million times and this was
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  actually one of the times, one of the times I saw Rin.
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  Oh stop it, this is me. As a baby, seeing Rin.
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  Yeah. This is the observatory in Santa
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  Ana. This was the observatory.
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  Oh my God. Oh my God, Do you remember the
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  show? Yeah, I remember the show.
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  I fought my way to get to the front and my friend took this
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  picture. That's so special, isn't that?
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  Cute. Yeah, I look.
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  Crazy. I look.
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  Crazy. It's half of a face, so why
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  would you look? Crazy.
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  I mean that half of my face does not look like a sane person, but
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  I was very happy to see I was. I think you're performing
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  promises during this too. Oh my God, I remember.
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  Yeah. Oh my God, what a time.
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  That time. That entire era was so
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  definitive for me and. How old were you I?
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  Was 19/19/2015 so it was 2015 when Rin released the.
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  Fool and I was. I was 22.
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  You were. Oh my gosh.
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  Oh my God, that's crazy, I feel. The same age bracket, yeah.
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  We were, and you were just so cool and you're so, like,
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  mystical and like this album, like, it means so much to me.
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  It really, really, really does. Don't make that face.
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  Like it's such an impactful album, No.
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  No, that face, that that face was.
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  Thank you. Yeah, of course.
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  It's such an amazing album. It was special.
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  It was such a it crystallized such a strange time in my life
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  that was also just it was just magical.
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  Well, I'm sure especially, you know, coming fresh from
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  Argentina and then kind of getting a recording contract and
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  then making this album. So what was the journey like
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  getting to making the Fool? OK, what?
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  Were your influences, where did it start for you?
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  So she's actually a San Diego native, not Argentina.
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  I'm from San Diego. Yes.
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  I grew up in San Diego. I I did a lot of musical
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  theatre, yeah. True to.
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  True theatre kids. Theatre kids.
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  And it actually reflects in your music.
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  Totally, for sure. But I think like a good a good
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  balance because I remember growing up, Glee was a big
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  thing. Oh, right, I.
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  Love Glee, but well, I, I did not.
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  I was like, oh, they're they're doing us dirty.
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  Oh, they're like parodying your real life.
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  Parody. But also, I mean, there's, there
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  are many different kinds of theatre kids and I went to
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  college or theater. I I was in a Conservatory high
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  school and I did theater there and I had bands and so I was
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  doing everything. And then I begged.
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  It was a kind of an experimental school, right?
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  So I begged to be an experimental theatre at NYUI,
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  wrote them a whole thing. And then they threw me into the
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  classics, which was also very necessary.
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  Yeah. So I studied Stella Adler,
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  Shakespeare, Chekhov, so. You're like actively studying
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  theatre. I was actively studying theatre,
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  not musical theatre because I like the two separate.
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  Really though, I, well, I I love Broadway and music.
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  Do you also act? I do act well, I mean, I haven't
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  in years. But you will.
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  But that's, I mean, yeah, it was, I wasn't studying musical
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  theater, but that was also like my way in to being in New York
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  City. I immediately found like a
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  musical community and was trying to do that.
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  I started a band there. We played UVL my freshman year,
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  which was fun. But like being in a BFA program,
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  you just don't have a lot of time and you only get to study
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  theater. And I have.
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  You got a bunch of other interests.
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  Many interests in semi band. I can never practice with them
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  because I was. It's just long days every day
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  I'm sure. And everything you're studying
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  is theatre based, so you want to take a class on like semiotics
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  or philosophy or this or that, Everyone's.
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  Really into it like big theatre nerd.
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  No, this is what I'm saying. Like I love a lot of theatre,
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  but you only get to study that. Got it.
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  They were like kind of pigeonholing you.
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  Yeah. And so you can do romanticism in
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  the theatre and you can do this in the theatre, but you weren't
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  allowed like a Gallatin kid was able to like make their major
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  take whatever they wanted. So I like I learned what I
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  intended to learn in two years and finishing my primary
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  training, and then I left school to pursue music.
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  That is so crazy and I feel like it was such a whirlwind for you.
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  Were you expecting that? Because I know you said that
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  when you were in school you had bands, right?
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  And then you obviously. You ended up.
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  With of course, I'm not surprised about that at all, but
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  you end up being a solo artist, so you sign a record deal and
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  then you begin working on The Fool.
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  Yeah. Did you always have that concept
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  for the album? Because the Fool is a concept
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  album, y'all. It is the Fool in search of the
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  world. And Rin actually poses a
• 6:44
  question at the beginning of the album, which she not to spoil,
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  but she does answer in the final track, New Constellations.
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  Is it Are you a fool to leave something that's so safe and
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  secure, or to not settle and explore and seek out if there's
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  more? And that was the concept of the
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  fool. That definitely came a little
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  off the cuff. It wasn't something I had like,
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  planned. I think I saw a full tarot card,
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  yeah. And I just felt such a
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  connection and I feel like every choice musically is kind of a
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  spell because like the fool also from the image like falls falls
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  off of a Cliff. It's got a cute little doggy
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  that's right and he's walking his own way.
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  And I just felt such this relationship with the card and
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  it being a beginner and the 0. It's the very first card, the.
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  Very first card in the Major Arcana.
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  It's that's right. And then it's also about taking
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  a leap of faith. And that's essentially what
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  you're doing in this time of your life, too.
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  Yeah, you're really putting yourself out there in a
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  different way. Because I do feel I probably
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  wanted to start in bands because that felt comfortable, but I was
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  making my own music. I just like showed Benny Blanco
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  music at his birthday party and then there was a process of them
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  then starting a label for me that's.
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  Crazy for you, for me, Oh my God.
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  And we're so grateful for that because the Fool is incredible.
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  It's a. Special one.
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  Oh my gosh. And then making The Fool, I know
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  that you started with the Promises EP which was 4 songs
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  that did end up on the Fool as well, but what was the process
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  making the full album itself? We made Octa Hate and we didn't
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  really have any other songs, and I've kind of been waiting to get
• 8:21
  in and really put the work in, and then they're like, let's
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  just put it on SoundCloud. And then it did what it did so.
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  So that was the only. Song we had and I was like Oh my
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  God and they're like well now we got to go and I was.
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  Just Oh, so you only had that song?
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  I was horrified. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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  Took off. It was the OG viral song guys.
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  So before Tiktok was the thing. It was.
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  What was that? SoundCloud No.
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  No, no. What was the viral place back
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  then? Hype machine.
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  Oh, I don't even know. Hype machine.
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  That's crazy and. It just took off.
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  Yeah, basically were. You thinking that?
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  Like where were you thinking when you put it?
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  In No I I like threw up that day I got like really nervous 'cause
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  I just felt like ohh, now I'm gonna be chasing my own tail
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  yeah, but then we. The train doesn't stop.
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  When the train doesn't stop once it starts.
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  Absolutely. And with a viral song, you're
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  kind of like, let's go. So it's go time.
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  We finished any pee in like a fairly short amount of time.
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  And then back then that was like the beginning of the roll over
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  on like Apple Music where you could have any pee that rolled
• 9:19
  into an album. OK, yeah.
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  So then, you know, Benny, big producer, busy with people,
• 9:25
  Michael on his own journey. So in the end it was like at the
• 9:29
  end of the year we had about like 10 days in.
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  So you made the phone about to? Finish the record.
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  And of course I had been writing and getting my head in the right
• 9:38
  space. But yeah, I know we we kind of
• 9:40
  did that and it had to be turned in before the end of the year.
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  But then my grandfather passed on January 1st, so I did the.
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  Traveling song come before or after.
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  No, no, no, after, because it was more like I wanted to give
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  this tribute to him who was really integral in me moving to
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  New York, even though that was like right after the financial
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  crisis, right? There was a there was a big
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  moment. And my parents even were like,
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  NYU, come on. And I was like, I got half off
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  for my audition, like, let's do it.
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  And then you have younger brothers.
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  What's the right decision here? And my grandfather was just
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  like, do it. Go be in New York.
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  You have to. So I wanted to give him that
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  since he wasn't going to get to, he was from, he lived in
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  Coachella Valley, so he didn't get to come to Coachella.
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  And so that was like my way of honoring him.
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  Absolutely. And that song?
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  Is. Beautiful.
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  And then the video is well and like, the way that you are
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  honoring him is timeless, genuinely.
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  And the outro of that song is so.
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  Legendary. That was legit off the cuff.
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  Just writing it really fast and but we couldn't get through the
• 10:47
  song without me just like crying because it was so close.
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  Of course. So you hear it.
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  It's a whole song of. Definitely, but that's what
• 10:56
  makes us so much more real and vulnerable and like it connects.
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  Was he able to hear the album? I mean, we showed him some
• 11:05
  songs, but everything had to be, you know, sent in and kind of
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  done at the end of the year. But I saw him right before I
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  forget when I played the the Masonic Lodge, but he came to
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  that show. So he was able.
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  To So he got to see, he got to see like the EP and everything I
• 11:21
  was. Going to say yeah promises.
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  Yeah, so he got to see that. And then I saw him like 2 days
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  before New Year's and he's like, you always make me feel like a
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  young man. I'm like, yeah, we got that.
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  We got that thing. I mean, that's so beautiful.
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  And like, honestly, like with everything you did with The
• 11:36
  Traveling Song and obviously the Fool, you know, he's probably
• 11:40
  incredibly proud of you and everything you've done because
• 11:42
  he believed in you and he wanted you to go off and do that.
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  It was just such a brave little record.
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  It's a brave little record. It's ambitious and it really,
• 11:49
  really follows that concept closely of being a young woman.
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  You said you wrote it from the perspective of the modern woman
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  versus like, you know, instead of music being like, I need this
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  person, I want this person, I'm fighting for this person.
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  But it's like very self aware of a of a record and it really goes
• 12:05
  on that journey, which is what I resonate with.
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  It was. It's my coming of age.
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  Which is it's mine too. That's what I'm saying.
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  Right. Like, that's crazy.
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  Yeah. And it came out so good.
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  And only 10 days. Did you feel rough?
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  I mean. Pressured.
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  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
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  I mean, we were kind of like locked in.
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  And you know, Michael, at the time, we only had so much time
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  to work together. So the guys would be going to
• 12:28
  sushi and being like, lock yourself in and finish the
• 12:32
  words. Well, that's how you like to
• 12:33
  write. You like to be alone when you're
• 12:34
  writing. I do like to be alone, right?
• 12:36
  Yeah, that's something. It's just sometimes, I mean
• 12:39
  different energy, yeah, can change the way you if you're
• 12:42
  trying to impress someone or when I'm just you.
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  Don't want to deal with no ego when you're writing, you just
• 12:47
  want to be able to write. Yeah, and I mean, when I'm
• 12:49
  writing for other people, you're in the room and you're just
• 12:51
  bouncing. What do you like, 'cause you're
• 12:53
  just throwing ideas at the wall. So you're collaborating, Want.
• 12:55
  Yeah. And you know what?
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  For me, I'm a little, I'm a little more precious.
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  And you should be. It came out really good.
• 13:00
  It's so interesting because like in only 10 days you had such a
• 13:03
  strong concept and it's such a cohesive story and The Fool
• 13:05
  follows like a play. I mean, since my recording got
• 13:10
  pushed to end of year, I've been processing.
• 13:13
  I kind of came up with the beginning of Runaway.
• 13:15
  There were just like a lot of things, germinating.
• 13:18
  Did you know intentionally you wanted to do the intro to
• 13:20
  Runaway and also have it be the outro of Here as Home and it
• 13:23
  connects like that? Yes.
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  So I kind of, I kind of make little plays because I am.
• 13:29
  Absolutely play. I am a little theater girl.
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  Theater girl, absolutely, at the end of the day.
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  So even the new one, I kind of start from understanding the
• 13:38
  movement of things and the story being told.
• 13:41
  I'd love to try just here's a bunch of songs I wrote and this
• 13:45
  is an album, but as of now I. Mean, you're such a concept
• 13:49
  artist, you know what I mean? And being able to tell that
• 13:51
  story the way that you do is why a lot of people resonate with
• 13:54
  it, which is why The Fool is such a classic.
• 13:57
  A classic. Timeless record.
• 13:59
  Oh my God, it's so fucking good. I don't even want to get into it
• 14:02
  because I'm I'm going to be here all day.
• 14:03
  This is cute. This is cute as hell.
• 14:05
  No, it's seriously one of my favorite albums ever.
• 14:07
  Like it's, it's literally that. It's my coming of age album.
• 14:10
  I'm going to get into it. It is my coming of age album.
• 14:12
  When I was 19, I was very sheltered most of my life.
• 14:15
  And I know you mentioned that too, that you were sheltered as
• 14:17
  well, but I was discovering new music for the first time and I
• 14:21
  was listening to new things. And this record for me really
• 14:24
  posed a question. And to this day, I still live by
• 14:26
  this. I absolutely refuse to settle.
• 14:28
  I don't want to settle. I'm not going to settle with
• 14:31
  anything in my life. Because she poses the question,
• 14:34
  what if there's more and there there is more, and you should
• 14:38
  seek more and you should embrace more and.
• 14:41
  That's what your 20s are for. And I feel like so much landed
• 14:45
  in my lap that it was all I ever wanted.
• 14:50
  Yeah. But I also needed to continue my
• 14:52
  journey, yeah. Absolutely.
• 14:54
  So the entire process from recording the album, writing the
• 14:56
  album, making the album, you said, like, you know, you did
• 14:59
  the EP first initially, and then it waterfalled into the album
• 15:02
  itself. And then the album process you
• 15:04
  said was about 10 days. Yeah.
• 15:05
  So going into working with a label and then marketing the
• 15:09
  album, doing the album cover, shooting everything, was that
• 15:11
  also a quick process as well? Pretty quick.
• 15:14
  It was sort of fits and starts like we had to do photo shoots
• 15:17
  at this time. I think there were a lot of
• 15:20
  elements that came together in the end, but it it a lot of it
• 15:23
  was timing. Did you feel like you were
• 15:25
  living the dream in that era? I don't know.
• 15:29
  I think I was, I was, I felt like I was living the dream.
• 15:33
  I think before the album came out, I was kind of sent directly
• 15:37
  to pop radio, which I which I protested because it wasn't
• 15:42
  something that I thought was the right first move just because
• 15:46
  Octa hate to me, as poppy and boisterous as it was, right,
• 15:50
  isn't like top ten radio, right? And so I felt, you know, some
• 15:55
  resistance. So I feel like my 10th show was
• 15:58
  Coachella, and that's because I was doing all this radio promo
• 16:01
  right and flying around. And so you can kind of lose,
• 16:06
  lose the plot and understanding because you're in these like
• 16:09
  little rooms with fluorescent lights and people eating their
• 16:12
  doughnuts and being like, anytime you're ready and you're
• 16:15
  like, oh, gosh, what? We did today here.
• 16:17
  It's like an audition. Absolutely.
• 16:19
  Yeah. So I think I, I didn't feel it
• 16:21
  until I started the festival circuit and started touring.
• 16:24
  And then I was like, oh wow. Because I was watching a lot of
• 16:26
  interviews. I'm a sailor during that era.
• 16:28
  And you're like, it was like you were thrown into it.
• 16:30
  You know what I mean? I just what he said.
• 16:32
  Go. Did you have any training prior
• 16:33
  or you just you got into it? What?
• 16:35
  Do you mean training? Like, did anyone sit down with
• 16:37
  you and they're like, here's what you're gonna have to say,
• 16:39
  here's what you're gonna have to present yourself as, or did you
• 16:41
  have a clear identity for yourself?
• 16:42
  I think I like spoke to someone. I don't even recall.
• 16:45
  Yeah, I I was like speaking 'cause.
• 16:47
  You're so like fair and wild. Feral very much always just said
• 16:52
  what I wanted to anyways. You did.
• 16:54
  So I wasn't very media trained, no.
• 16:56
  No, but that's what was like the best thing too, is like that.
• 16:59
  You like the chaos is fun, Absolutely super fun.
• 17:02
  Absolutely. And then you end up touring and
• 17:04
  then you just had the whole cycle of the album.
• 17:07
  Well, I want to keep getting into the album, but first I want
• 17:09
  to talk about the album cover. So if you guys aren't watching
• 17:12
  on the video version of the show on Spotify, this is I'm holding
• 17:16
  up Rin CD the Fool, and this is the album cover of it.
• 17:20
  She is looking like, I wanna, I don't know, like a vixen.
• 17:25
  I don't know what the best way I can say it.
• 17:28
  No. I.
• 17:28
  How would you define this cover? What was it like shooting this
• 17:31
  cover? We were, we were talking about
• 17:33
  how I kind of look like I'm mean mugging in it.
• 17:37
  I look, I look. And you know what?
• 17:39
  And the back. Is little animal.
• 17:41
  You're vulnerable and. Then the back is very vulnerable
• 17:44
  and I wanted to. The two sides of.
• 17:45
  Just play those two sides of what I was feeling at the time.
• 17:50
  But in a strange way, I feel like that was my first photo
• 17:53
  shoot actually, Which is. Crazy.
• 17:55
  How was that experience? I mean again, like so scary
• 17:58
  'cause it. Wasn't a rumor.
• 17:59
  It was an expensive shoe. It wasn't cheap.
• 18:02
  OK. So it was like, you know,
• 18:03
  there's, there's just everything was the stakes always felt so
• 18:06
  high. Yeah.
• 18:07
  And like, my face got taped. They were like, this is what
• 18:10
  Gaga does. I'm like, I'm 22.
• 18:11
  You don't need to tape my face yet.
• 18:13
  But I mean, like, eventually, yeah, tape my face.
• 18:16
  You're like. Take my face now.
• 18:17
  We'll do it now. Well.
• 18:18
  But yeah, no, I think I was just, it was a whirlwind and it
• 18:21
  was scary. And it was also just, yeah, so
• 18:24
  magical. It came out really, really good,
• 18:26
  and I feel like it reflects the album exactly that.
• 18:28
  Like you're coming off intimidating, strong.
• 18:31
  You look like a true Leo, which you are a Leo through and
• 18:33
  through. Leo.
• 18:34
  Leo. Absolutely.
• 18:36
  Gang. Gang.
• 18:36
  Exactly. And you said this was an
• 18:38
  expensive album cover. The budget was big for it.
• 18:41
  Yeah. That's crazy.
• 18:43
  Did you have that vision and concept of what you wanted the
• 18:45
  cover to look like when going into it though?
• 18:47
  Sort of. I mean, again, some things felt
• 18:50
  like they just had to come together.
• 18:52
  New stylist Matt Williams, who is Gaga's creative director,
• 18:57
  shot it. And as I said, it was like my
• 19:00
  first real photo shoot. So I was, I was shy, I was
• 19:03
  scared. I definitely I, I requested the
• 19:06
  ruffian caller. We tried a couple other things
• 19:09
  that the in insert, insert. Oh, you don't have to pull it
• 19:15
  out, but. You know that's.
• 19:16
  Me, I was kind of thinking like that Thin Lizzy cover.
• 19:19
  I really liked the lean back, the kind of psychedelic
• 19:22
  Harlequin energy of it. So we tried a couple things and
• 19:25
  this just felt the most like. What you wanted to represent the
• 19:28
  cover as? Profound.
• 19:29
  Yeah, I also. This is the inside of the cover.
• 19:33
  There's that. Do you this?
• 19:36
  Time that's. On my my gold record, I ended up
• 19:40
  using that image for Pierre. Oh, did you?
• 19:42
  Oh my God. Slay.
• 19:44
  That's right. OK, so it was your idea for the
• 19:46
  ruffian caller. Yes.
• 19:48
  Well, how would you feel about us recreating that cover 10
• 19:52
  years later? You have a ruffian caller.
• 19:56
  Oh, stop it actually with this, OK.
• 19:59
  Let's recreate it. Wait, I'm going to do it with
• 20:02
  you. No.
• 20:03
  Yeah. Oh my gosh.
• 20:07
  We are recreating the full cover art right now.
• 20:09
  Brett, I'm a fool for you. Welcome to the fool.
• 20:17
  Oh. My goodness, now it is.
• 20:19
  Now it is the. Yeah, the cover, absolutely.
• 20:22
  OK, we're. How scared can?
• 20:24
  I look, are you scared on the cover?
• 20:26
  A little. OK, I'm scared right now.
• 20:29
  I can't do it. You're out mugging me.
• 20:36
  No one look at the video version of the show right now.
• 20:38
  I'm. Trying.
• 20:39
  I'm trying. You were out mugging me.
• 20:41
  Well, so you've said this before, but on the cover you
• 20:45
  felt like a caged animal. You know what I mean?
• 20:47
  You're a mean mugging and the back is where you're vulnerable.
• 20:50
  But I find it funny because I still in front of cameras, it's
• 20:54
  very difficult for me not to. Really it's to do a mean.
• 20:58
  Do you feel like a defense mechanism?
• 20:59
  Maybe, but it's also. Just mean.
• 21:02
  Being extra. Absolutely.
• 21:03
  You're a Leo. Loving A.
• 21:05
  Pose, you're a Leo for sure. Yeah, you're giving everything
• 21:09
  right now. OK, everyone turned back on the
• 21:10
  video version of the show. You're giving everything.
• 21:13
  So you wanted to bring in the ruffian feather for the cover
• 21:15
  art, and then that's what ended up being the cover.
• 21:18
  Did you know that you wanted a shot like that for the cover?
• 21:22
  I think so, yeah. Wait, can I ask how expensive
• 21:24
  the I? Don't want to go there.
• 21:26
  It just kept going. It's expensive.
• 21:28
  It, well, it's also a major label.
• 21:30
  It was. That's right.
• 21:31
  It was not something I I didn't understand.
• 21:34
  Major label vibes versus doing things independent.
• 21:38
  Right. So they were just throwing money
• 21:39
  at the project. I mean, you know.
• 21:43
  Yes. I pass on that, on that
• 21:46
  question, OK, OK. But I was, I was, I was a big
• 21:52
  focus of Interscope at that time and I feel very grateful for
• 21:56
  them. Yeah, honestly, and I'm really
• 21:57
  grateful for that too, because I feel like not only because it
• 22:00
  was. It was a strange record, so to
• 22:02
  put that much love behind it felt.
• 22:05
  I definitely deserve that. Support for sure.
• 22:08
  Yeah. And it's like it is aged rather
• 22:12
  nicely. That's what I've been saying.
• 22:13
  I know absolutely it's timeless. Absolutely.
• 22:17
  I think the story itself is timeless too.
• 22:19
  And following the journey, the foolish journey, the fool in
• 22:23
  search of the world, I feel like that's always going to resonate.
• 22:25
  And it is a coming of age album. Yeah, I listen to it all the
• 22:28
  time. But with you, do you feel like,
• 22:31
  did you take a couple years away from it?
• 22:33
  Because it's been a decade now since that album came out.
• 22:36
  I think it's pretty normal to kind of hate your first work or
• 22:45
  first album and so many people, I mean, Charlie seeking of, it's
• 22:48
  almost like as soon as she puts out an album, she's like, didn't
• 22:50
  like that one, by the way, ready to go on the next one.
• 22:52
  And I feel like I felt like that for a long time.
• 22:56
  Yeah. And so you're always trying to
• 23:00
  hopefully become the next iteration of yourself.
• 23:02
  So sometimes the past feels like charted territory, so you just
• 23:07
  want to do something new. But I feel like everyone's first
• 23:10
  project is a baby picture. And so it was my baby pictures.
• 23:16
  And I think whatever you do first, it feels like charted
• 23:19
  territory. So you want to try new things,
• 23:23
  but taking enough time off to then revisit it and really
• 23:26
  respect the bravery, knowing everything that went down
• 23:31
  respects my ability to persevere and just, I mean, I, I, I adore
• 23:38
  the record, but it took about like 6 years.
• 23:41
  That you just didn't I? Couldn't even listen to.
• 23:43
  I mean, I still like if somebody, people always do that
• 23:46
  to me, you know, the, the jukeboxes, the ones that are
• 23:50
  like digital. Yeah, anytime I'm at a bar with
• 23:52
  someone, they like put my song on Octa Hey up here and they
• 23:56
  like play them over and over and I'm like, I have to leave.
• 23:58
  Oh no. So.
• 23:59
  It's difficult. It's just it's hard listening to
• 24:02
  your music with other people. But in my car, I'm like, oh,
• 24:06
  there she is, yeah. OK, so now, today, 2025, how do
• 24:10
  we feel about the fool? I love it.
• 24:13
  You should, absolutely. And it's just, yeah, it's, it's
• 24:16
  a roar. It is.
• 24:17
  It's like such a proud little roar.
• 24:19
  And you know what? I'm glad you said that, because
• 24:21
  we want to talk about your lion's pride.
• 24:23
  You are a Leo. My.
• 24:24
  Lion's pride. Mm hmm.
• 24:25
  And you sing about it on I. Meet my I meet my mountain.
• 24:28
  Then I run in hide. That's right.
• 24:30
  And then you're punching pedals at the amber of lights.
• 24:32
  You really lean into your Zodiac sign, which is being a Leo.
• 24:36
  Do you feel like now, from the beginning of The Fool to where
• 24:39
  you are today, 10 years later, have you evolved as a Leo?
• 24:43
  Of course, yeah. We just continue to evolve as
• 24:46
  people, hopefully. Yeah.
• 24:48
  You go one way or you go the other, but it's, it's a, it's a,
• 24:52
  it's a spiral staircase. You like, come back to where you
• 24:54
  were and it feels like you're exactly where you were, but
• 24:57
  you're your level's up. Because you know promises.
• 25:00
  That song itself one of the best on the album.
• 25:03
  By the way, I love promises. This song is about you breaking
• 25:06
  your own promises to yourself. Can we talk about promises?
• 25:11
  Yeah, what do you want to know? I want to know everything.
• 25:13
  So it is about you bringing promises to yourself.
• 25:15
  I feel like if you listen promises, I think a lot of
• 25:16
  people could probably first impression think it's about you
• 25:19
  bringing promises to someone else, right?
• 25:21
  But you say it in the song you never meant to break.
• 25:24
  My own. There you go.
• 25:25
  I can give you a story about that.
• 25:27
  I would love to hear it, yeah. So I was enjoying New York City
• 25:30
  and you're just having a blast with my friends.
• 25:35
  And I stayed out all night. And I knew that the next day we
• 25:38
  had to work on a song. This isn't that 1010 day chunk.
• 25:42
  And we came home from an evening to where it was.
• 25:46
  It was it was sunrise. And I got home and I laid on the
• 25:50
  bed in the studio And within like 30 minutes, Benny came in
• 25:54
  and was like, hey, Michael's going to be here.
• 25:56
  And like, and I was like, I didn't sleep last night.
• 25:58
  And he's like, what are you doing?
• 26:00
  And I was like, I don't know. You're being young and.
• 26:03
  I was being young and irresponsible.
• 26:05
  OK. And you're allowed.
• 26:05
  To be so then I felt like all this shame about oh gosh, did I
• 26:09
  mess up one of our days that I just wrote promises then and
• 26:12
  there about breaking my own promises.
• 26:15
  Oh my fucking that's so good. I felt real bad about it.
• 26:18
  Oh my God, wait, I love that story.
• 26:19
  I never knew that. I don't think I've ever talked
• 26:21
  about it. Oh my God.
• 26:22
  Yeah, I don't think I've ever talked about.
• 26:24
  It and you really tap into like a lot of it's a lot of
• 26:26
  self-awareness with that song genuinely from the verses.
• 26:28
  Again with excuses and generally wasting my.
• 26:31
  Time, yeah. Not finding solutions, just
• 26:33
  seeking my Peace of Mind. No hocus or pocus my.
• 26:36
  Focus is drunk on the floor. And mumbling something about.
• 26:39
  One more. That's right.
• 26:41
  It's so good. That's my favorite song when you
• 26:44
  perform life. By the way, I love that one
• 26:45
  live. I don't know, let's take it back
• 26:47
  to 2015 when you're performing it live is.
• 26:49
  This still looking cute on me. Of course you own it.
• 26:52
  Oh, there we go. It is jester chic.
• 26:55
  Jester couture. That's right.
• 26:57
  Jester Couture. It looks amazing.
• 26:59
  Harlequin House. Period.
• 27:00
  You're the original. It's coming back around,
• 27:04
  absolutely. Have you noticed?
• 27:05
  I felt on a fashion level. How, Yeah, I mean, look at all.
• 27:08
  This thing I. Know we look fabulous.
• 27:10
  I've been noticing it trending. Yeah, Mandamorpho, Mandamorpho.
• 27:14
  Shout out to them. You're so ahead of your time.
• 27:16
  Brand, yeah. Love that stuff.
• 27:18
  So when you OK to jump back to the album cover So you know you
• 27:21
  wanted the ruffian collar for it?
• 27:22
  Yeah. Is it playing into the the fool?
• 27:24
  Is that why you wanted that? Because like the Fool, the
• 27:26
  Jester, Joker, Oh my God, absolutely, absolutely yes,
• 27:31
  Genius. Yes.
• 27:32
  You're such a conceptual. It's just a very.
• 27:34
  Romantic, you know I love like a deep romanticism that feels
• 27:39
  timeless. Oh, and you nailed it exactly.
• 27:42
  So another song on the fool. Yes, Pierre, this song went
• 27:46
  viral on TikTok a few years ago. How random?
• 27:50
  Like did you obviously, were you expecting that?
• 27:51
  Like when it happened, what were you feeling?
• 27:53
  I don't think you're expecting a song that's, oh gosh, how many?
• 27:56
  Six years after 2021, Pierre went viral on TikTok.
• 28:00
  You know, I am on January 1st, my friend Julia and I just
• 28:04
  decided should we go on a road trip together and we just packed
• 28:07
  up the car. We left at like 8:00 PM and we
• 28:11
  just wanted to drive around in the winter and get the goods of
• 28:15
  the woods and cook on a fire. We got these sub zero sleeping
• 28:18
  bags. We were sleeping in a van and 0°
• 28:21
  weather. I think I was driving to like
• 28:23
  Dixie National Forest when I start getting texts kind of, you
• 28:28
  know, sporadically, sporadically because I didn't have any
• 28:32
  service. Like your song is blowing up.
• 28:34
  And I had no context. And I had no context.
• 28:38
  I'm like, what are they talking about?
• 28:39
  And I think Jamie, I think Jamie called me.
• 28:42
  And then we ended up talking about it when I was in the Grand
• 28:45
  Canyon and I called you. But yeah, it was totally,
• 28:49
  totally unexpected and. It kind of gave the Fool another
• 28:52
  resurgence, too. And I still didn't do a TikTok
• 28:54
  because I was nervous. Oh my God.
• 28:56
  Well, we're about to get on TikTok now.
• 28:58
  Oh, I know we're going to be doing it, so you're welcome on
• 29:00
  TikTok. They missed you.
• 29:01
  There were so many fan theories going around about Pierre.
• 29:03
  I just watched one last night where they were like, guys, you
• 29:06
  got the song wrong. She's not singing about another
• 29:08
  person, she's singing about Pierre.
• 29:12
  What do we think about that? Pierre himself thought that.
• 29:14
  He did. He mentioned he talked about it
• 29:16
  a little bit on a different podcast, Not Delulu.
• 29:18
  Not delulu. Not delulu, but tell us about
• 29:21
  Pierre. Pierre The.
• 29:24
  Song the person. The song, the person.
• 29:26
  The person is a wonderful man. He still sends me songs all the
• 29:31
  time. He sends me sweet messages.
• 29:33
  I like them. That's OK.
• 29:35
  He's very handsome, very lovely person, really lovely.
• 29:38
  Worthy of the namesake for the song.
• 29:40
  Yeah, kind of surfer, chiller boy, but French.
• 29:45
  I met, I did meet him on the 4th of July at a house on the beach
• 29:50
  in like Manhattan Beach. And we just clicked, but it was
• 29:53
  sort of about this time, the right place, wrong time is still
• 29:57
  the wrong place. And I had not processed this
• 30:00
  other relationship. So it was more about all these
• 30:02
  wonderful options, these these men that I could have loved,
• 30:07
  that I was vibing with. And Piero was one of them.
• 30:10
  He was one of them. He was one of, yeah, that
• 30:11
  Vagabond month of tops. That was a real guy.
• 30:14
  Did pop my attire. The other one, my friend the
• 30:18
  bassist, very close, close men that I really, really adored.
• 30:23
  Kind of quiet, but his body ain't.
• 30:24
  Yeah, that's right. But his body ain't, let me tell
• 30:26
  you. None of them actually, but.
• 30:30
  That applies to all of them. Applies to all of them,
• 30:32
  including fear. But I'd, I'd, I'd get hit up by
• 30:34
  my ex who was actively playing that game, just trying to, you
• 30:37
  know, I'm like. You can't let him in, girl.
• 30:39
  You've. Got a new girlfriend, please no.
• 30:43
  So yeah, it was more just about how beautiful these options were
• 30:47
  and how on unavailable I was, because the second that he rang
• 30:51
  I was my brain was somewhere else.
• 30:53
  Absolutely. Oh my gosh.
• 30:55
  And you were counting down and then.
• 30:57
  Till the day they may come true. The lies I had to tell him.
• 31:00
  And that's crazy. So Pierre is not about Pierre.
• 31:03
  It's not about Pierre, but I liked to feature him because he
• 31:06
  he did nothing wrong. He was a fun.
• 31:08
  Character in the full universe. He's a wonderful, wonderful man.
• 31:11
  I just couldn't. I couldn't move on yet.
• 31:14
  I wasn't ready. Well, you know what, Pierre went
• 31:16
  viral on TikTok. And then obviously you have the
• 31:18
  OG viral song, which was Octahate.
• 31:20
  You wrote Octahate with Charli XCX, and you actually said this
• 31:23
  was your first song that you ever made.
• 31:25
  Yeah, and you put it out. Not first song I ever made, but
• 31:28
  first song I ever made within this project.
• 31:31
  OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 31:33
  No, not first song I ever made. OK, first song you made and put
• 31:36
  out for the fool and this was such a banger and a big moment
• 31:40
  for you. It was huge.
• 31:42
  It was awesome. Everyone just showing off what
• 31:47
  they could do and you really feel that.
• 31:48
  You feel everybody involved. It was like it's just not the
• 31:51
  other. It was.
• 31:52
  It felt like it felt chaos in the best way.
• 31:54
  Yeah, it was an explosion. What was it like writing that
• 31:56
  song? I was actually, it took a
• 32:00
  second. I was in the back of my parents
• 32:02
  house and I just sort of sat there.
• 32:04
  I was set up at a desk in my brother's room and I was
• 32:07
  recording all the little layers. I added the some of the scents
• 32:12
  in there me the whole kind of vocal outro I did and then I was
• 32:17
  just trying to get all the words right and just writing them at
• 32:21
  my parents house on my microphone and then just sending
• 32:25
  them to Benny. Once we were really getting it
• 32:27
  to the very end and I was so particular about how it had to
• 32:31
  sound that we did do like 2 separate recordings sessions on
• 32:36
  top of that just to get every vocal.
• 32:39
  How did you land on the title Octa Hate because it was
• 32:43
  originally called Octa Loser? Yeah, it was or Octa.
• 32:46
  Yeah, Octa loser. I don't know.
• 32:48
  I just liked the idea of hate times 8, which now that I'm
• 32:52
  older and I've matured, I don't really like the whole the blamey
• 32:56
  game. I mean this person did deserve
• 32:58
  some heavy blame cheater but. Call it out.
• 33:01
  No. No.
• 33:03
  Named them. Just kidding.
• 33:05
  Name them. Name them.
• 33:06
  No, no. So yeah, I it was hate times 8.
• 33:11
  I had some hate in my heart at that point for that.
• 33:13
  You know what that's. Completely fair.
• 33:14
  Like honestly, I. Mean it was a baby.
• 33:15
  And you were in your early 20s. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 33:17
  I mean, I mean. There was very little nuance to
• 33:19
  that behavior, but there. But I think as you get older,
• 33:23
  Grey comes into play and you understand that that life's a
• 33:26
  bit more complicated than that. Absolutely.
• 33:29
  And I think when it comes to the nuances, especially when it
• 33:32
  comes to relationships, like it's nice because that's how you
• 33:34
  felt at the time and it reflects that like.
• 33:37
  And that's, that's for the kids. Absolutely and.
• 33:40
  There's there's plenty of artists that now do that or
• 33:43
  songs with that kind of aggression and less taking less
• 33:47
  responsibility, I would say. And it's like I I love that for
• 33:50
  the younger generations but I can't always listen to it cuz I
• 33:53
  don't really relate to that. I mean, honestly, mentality
• 33:55
  anymore where you were back then too, cuz even on Pierre you talk
• 33:58
  about like no one's shaming you for your youth when you were,
• 34:02
  you know, out in the desert in the pouring green.
• 34:06
  You know what I mean? Like it was reflective of
• 34:07
  exactly where you were and it fits into the story of the fool
• 34:10
  so well. So we begin the Fool with
• 34:13
  Runaway, and we talk about this idea of running, leaving things
• 34:18
  behind, you know, being the hunter instead of a gatherer,
• 34:22
  right? And really claiming your
• 34:24
  identity. We follow the Fool's journey
• 34:26
  throughout the entire album, and we make it to new constellations
• 34:29
  where you answer the question that you posed at the beginning
• 34:31
  of the album. Do we still?
• 34:35
  What do we think? Where do we stand with the Fool?
• 34:37
  Are you a fool for leaving, or are you a fool for not settling?
• 34:42
  You're never a fool for leaving. I mean, everything in this life
• 34:47
  is a trade off. I feel like anyone born with
• 34:49
  excessive privilege, that's a blind spot.
• 34:52
  Anyone who's been through a lot, that really kind of gives them
• 34:56
  an upper hand in a way. So I mean, any mistakes,
• 35:01
  mistakes that you make, they're just kind of adding, they're
• 35:05
  braiding into the life that you've lived and they give you
• 35:07
  some perspective. So I still am a believer.
• 35:11
  And if it doesn't feel right, go.
• 35:14
  I live like that. Like I said, I'm never going.
• 35:16
  To and of course work on things with somebody if you're in love
• 35:20
  and this is important, but you know, there's plenty of time to
• 35:25
  make mistakes when you're young. So I'm still a big believer in
• 35:28
  that. But these days, I think I I, I
• 35:32
  don't run as easily Interesting. But I did for like a decade.
• 35:35
  You did. I like how I was promising I was
• 35:37
  going to run away. Yeah.
• 35:39
  And then I just did. And you ran away.
• 35:41
  Yeah, the spell like cast, Yeah. Oh my God, you Loki manifested
• 35:44
  that unintentionally. Manifested.
• 35:46
  Because did you ever imagine after the full cycle finished,
• 35:49
  you finished the Misfit Toys tour?
• 35:51
  Did you initially plan on making a follow up album with the
• 35:55
  label? Or did you know that?
• 35:56
  I was like, OK, I think I want to.
• 35:57
  I think I want to be free from this.
• 36:00
  I think we made a call. I made a call.
• 36:04
  I sort of pulled back from the record they bought.
• 36:07
  We only released one official single.
• 36:11
  Octahede which got 2 music videos.
• 36:14
  Yes, yes, it did. But I think I sort of pulled
• 36:18
  back. I think I don't really blame
• 36:20
  anyone. And I'm, I'm very grateful for
• 36:23
  that opportunity, but it didn't feel right for me.
• 36:26
  And so I think I, I knew that whatever my next record was
• 36:30
  going to be would would not be. You had an inkling and it was
• 36:33
  just about untying those binds at that point.
• 36:36
  Yeah, well, I wanted to tap on the fool, the title track before
• 36:40
  we move on to what's coming next.
• 36:42
  So what does it mean to be a fool for you?
• 36:46
  A fool for you? Yeah.
• 36:47
  What do you mean? So the song does that.
• 36:49
  Mean to be a fool for me. What's it mean when you're
• 36:51
  singing it and you're saying I'm a fool for you?
• 36:54
  What does that mean for you, especially when you're writing
• 36:56
  the song? Where were you?
• 36:57
  Oh. God, I think I was in what
• 37:03
  seemed to be a very, very healthy relationship for me at
• 37:05
  the time. I hadn't had that experience yet
• 37:10
  where someone was really doting and a lover and really kind to
• 37:14
  me in that specific way. I think I did some more chasing.
• 37:18
  And I do believe often you love the way you were most recently
• 37:22
  loved. OK.
• 37:23
  Yeah. And so I had this kind of toxic
• 37:25
  thing before, and I was with someone who really, really loved
• 37:28
  me and believed in me. And I realized that, like, I
• 37:33
  wasn't necessarily ready for that.
• 37:35
  Like if I let you down, if I mess up, I'm a fool for you.
• 37:39
  Like I'm you're a fool. You know, that's the like I can
• 37:43
  feel the rogue inside my veins. The wave to crash this castle we
• 37:46
  made of sand. That's right.
• 37:47
  Oh, I hope it doesn't show. It's like this could be
• 37:50
  wonderful for me, but I don't know if I'm ready for this level
• 37:53
  of commitment and. That was the journey.
• 37:54
  As a child, As a 22 year old. You know, before you performed
• 37:58
  that song on your tours, you would say that it is.
• 38:01
  You said this song is about being a fuck up and messing.
• 38:04
  Up. Is that what he said?
• 38:05
  Yeah, that is. What you said because I remember
• 38:06
  being like to you girl. Me too, I see.
• 38:09
  Promises the fool. Yeah, some self deprecation
• 38:11
  going on. Well, I think it's just like
• 38:13
  being young and having self-awareness and being able to
• 38:16
  like, put it so poetically. Yeah, self-awareness has never
• 38:19
  been like my issue. It's more you know what's
• 38:22
  happening, you know what you need to work on, and you're
• 38:24
  like, what is the next step though?
• 38:26
  Yeah, yeah. And it's not always an easy path
• 38:28
  to follow. And there's no, there's no
• 38:30
  answers. There's no, there's no road map.
• 38:32
  There's no road map, but that was the fool in such an iconic
• 38:36
  album. You're absolutely right.
• 38:37
  It's timeless Evergreen. Evergreen, Evergreen and
• 38:41
  Evergreen on the cover. Yeah, absolutely.
• 38:44
  Well, thank you for taking us back to the.
• 38:45
  Floor, how do we take these off now?
• 38:47
  Yeah, I think. We're good.
• 38:49
  We'll we'll recreate this at another point of course too.
• 38:52
  It's been 10 years since the release of the fool, a full ass
• 38:54
  decade and you essentially ran away.
• 38:57
  Like you said, you had a self fulfilling prophecy on the fool.
• 39:00
  I did. You talked about running away
• 39:02
  and you essentially disappeared. I did.
• 39:04
  You, like, stopped using social media, You weren't releasing
• 39:07
  music, and you just really hermitted away.
• 39:11
  Yeah. What happened in between the
• 39:12
  time from The Fool and now? Where were you?
• 39:15
  I was everywhere. Yeah.
• 39:17
  It's like life doesn't cease because you were not being
• 39:20
  perceived, right? So.
• 39:22
  Did you like not being perceived?
• 39:23
  I loved it, really. Yeah.
• 39:25
  Especially in this time where everybody now is forced to be
• 39:30
  perceived. And I feel that I had, I've been
• 39:34
  doing that my whole life in a very like exhibitionist sort of
• 39:36
  way. A. 100%.
• 39:38
  Always on stage or performing somewhere doing something.
• 39:41
  Deeply personal. Yeah, I've been doing it forever
• 39:45
  and taking a step back, I think I told everybody like I'm going
• 39:49
  to have a new record out in like 6 months.
• 39:51
  So many people looked at me and were just like.
• 39:55
  OK. Yeah, because, I mean, you know,
• 39:57
  some stuff went down and I think I was gonna need time to heal.
• 40:02
  Yeah. And you don't really know that
• 40:04
  at that time, right? So I think I just, I kept
• 40:07
  thinking that the next step would come very fast.
• 40:10
  Cuz you were teasing it a lot on Twitter and you probably
• 40:12
  genuinely believed that it was coming.
• 40:14
  I believed it was coming. Yeah.
• 40:16
  I mean, there's so many factors, but I landed on Odin St.
• 40:22
  That's right. So that is the first house.
• 40:24
  Immediately after the. Fool immediately.
• 40:26
  So that's the first place I got. I fled as I tend to from one
• 40:31
  coast to the other when I need a reset.
• 40:34
  And so I was kind of just living in that house for a while.
• 40:37
  Then I, I moved back to New York for about 6 months.
• 40:41
  Then I moved back here. I was kind of bouncing, I was
• 40:43
  hopping, I did some travelling, I was writing for other people.
• 40:48
  I was kind of avoiding my own story for a while because I
• 40:50
  needed time to to process what was happening.
• 40:54
  I was madly in love with somebody that was no good for
• 40:57
  me. And that lasted a very long
• 41:00
  time. And so I started a lot of those
• 41:02
  songs. But I think that wishful
• 41:05
  thinking, that very romantic thinking, you almost feel like
• 41:08
  you know what the story is going to be if if things go your way.
• 41:13
  I mean, you're still living the story.
• 41:14
  You're still. Living.
• 41:15
  Yeah, absolutely. I was just in love.
• 41:17
  And. And there's something very
• 41:19
  difficult about writing about somebody from that nuanced place
• 41:25
  because you kind of have to cast them in a role.
• 41:28
  And the way he was behaving was super out of pocket, but I
• 41:31
  didn't want to villainize him. I I always say, were you trying
• 41:35
  to protect him? Yeah, I was trying to protect
• 41:36
  him. And I had like a spiritual NDA
• 41:39
  is how I described it. It's hilarious.
• 41:41
  I didn't want, I didn't want any negativity about him.
• 41:44
  I wanted the story to end more beautifully.
• 41:48
  But unfortunately, it was a roar that faded to a whimper.
• 41:52
  And so eventually I had to kind of pick myself up and be like,
• 41:55
  this is going to be a very different album then I thought
• 41:58
  it would be and I don't have to protect a grown ass man.
• 42:02
  Absolutely. I don't have to.
• 42:03
  And it was a turbulent relationship for you.
• 42:04
  And it was a very real thing that happened.
• 42:06
  Yeah. And like you were.
• 42:07
  Going the best of times, it was the worst of times and.
• 42:09
  We're going to hear about it on the new.
• 42:10
  Album. Yeah, yeah.
• 42:11
  And he was a bit of like a a life preserver when I was kind
• 42:15
  of jumping ship. And he was somebody that knew
• 42:19
  everything that was going on in my life and sort of served as
• 42:22
  this in a way. Mentor, best friend, all of it.
• 42:28
  But it's like that thing that you think that's going to to
• 42:30
  help you ends up kind of dragging you even further down.
• 42:34
  Yeah, and you don't always realize it in the moment either.
• 42:36
  No, and I'd say we were a very addictive thing.
• 42:38
  I'd say it was a very stark cross.
• 42:39
  It was, it was a it was a big beautiful mess.
• 42:43
  It was like 1 of it was the greatest love of my life up till
• 42:46
  that point. I mean, it lasted 8 years,
• 42:48
  right? And it still would be going on
• 42:50
  if I didn't. And you had to make that.
• 42:52
  Decision and I had to call. I had to make the call.
• 42:54
  Would you say it was like a decision that you made coming
• 42:56
  from the perspective of what if there's more and did you decide
• 42:59
  there was going to be more than this person?
• 43:03
  I decided that my life would not.
• 43:10
  My life wouldn't look the way I wanted it to if I continued down
• 43:14
  that road. I lost a lot of confidence in
• 43:16
  that relationship. You know, what if there's more
• 43:21
  and I ran away? But it's, I also, you know, you
• 43:23
  make, you make the wrong turn somewhere and suddenly all the
• 43:27
  choices available to you feel very different.
• 43:29
  And you're like, how do I, how am I walking down these two
• 43:31
  pathways? In my head?
• 43:33
  I'm going this way, but I'm actually going this way.
• 43:35
  And I had to kind of redirect, pull back the arrow and
• 43:39
  understand what it was I really wanted.
• 43:41
  And it's OK to lead with love and have that be a central
• 43:44
  thing. But I think I had to learn.
• 43:46
  I, I also dealt with some, some tragedy at the hands of another
• 43:51
  man that I worked with. And that was very silencing
• 43:55
  because then I, I sort of had AI, had AI had sort of a trauma
• 44:00
  reaction that made my relationship to my own work
• 44:07
  complicated, like a career. Trauma is very difficult because
• 44:10
  wanting to come back, but then feeling like this thing that was
• 44:15
  my therapy became this thing that felt painful.
• 44:20
  Yeah, you went through a law and you needed to heal from it
• 44:21
  because it's also coming back to music and then having to
• 44:24
  confront it, addressing it in. Music.
• 44:26
  It's a ridiculous, ridiculous game.
• 44:29
  And as intelligent young women, it is interesting that we
• 44:33
  participate in one of the most exploitative career paths that
• 44:37
  there are. And so, you know, when you you
• 44:40
  kind of feel like a show pony and I feel like I felt like a
• 44:42
  show pony most of my life. So also taking.
• 44:45
  The Oh my God, I so relate to that.
• 44:47
  Taking the deep breath and being like, wow and, and, and, you
• 44:51
  know, not needing to post all the time because I'm like, let
• 44:53
  these girls shine. I'm happy becoming like a super
• 44:56
  fan of so many female artists, feeling just enriched by their
• 45:01
  stories, mentoring some younger artists, helping them sort of
• 45:06
  find their voice. It was kind of a time of service
• 45:10
  for me, as well as a time of sort of rest and reading and
• 45:14
  learning and growing and really kind of developing my, my mind
• 45:20
  and my emotional intelligence. Yeah, just like acquiring
• 45:26
  wisdom. But but but wanting to acquire
• 45:28
  wisdom. And we all know there's
• 45:30
  sacrifice that comes with acquiring RISM, and we're gonna
• 45:33
  get into that. Yeah.
• 45:34
  So you mentioned that over the past 10 years, right?
• 45:38
  You truly did believe that you're gonna put out music, and
• 45:40
  you really did think that. And I did, I did over and over.
• 45:43
  I mean, there have been fits and starts.
• 45:45
  There were, there were a couple songs we almost did a couple
• 45:47
  years ago. And I didn't feel like it was
• 45:49
  the right story. I felt like maybe it LED with
• 45:53
  the wrong, not wrong intention. It's a song that still is going
• 45:56
  to exist on the album, but it felt like the wrong song to
• 45:59
  start with. It felt like shots fired, you
• 46:01
  know, and. Got it.
• 46:01
  You don't want to come in like guns blazing.
• 46:03
  Because to me, it's like a love song and a farewell.
• 46:07
  But to some some people who have heard it, they're like, those
• 46:11
  are fighting words. I'm like the truth.
• 46:12
  And it's still going to exist. Yeah.
• 46:14
  It's just not going to be the first thing that we got from
• 46:16
  this era, which we did serve Odin Street.
• 46:18
  So after 10 years, why did you decide now is the real right
• 46:22
  time, the right the real start for this era?
• 46:26
  I think a decade felt significant.
• 46:28
  Yeah, I think if I didn't hit the decade mark with a new song,
• 46:34
  I think it could have been another five years.
• 46:36
  You just felt like it was time. It just felt like it was time,
• 46:38
  and it's been time, you know? And so, and I'm in a really
• 46:43
  positive space. I'm in a very, very healthy,
• 46:46
  happy relationship with somebody who's like my biggest fan who's
• 46:49
  not in music. Finally, I learned my lesson.
• 46:54
  So yeah, it's just I feel healthy.
• 46:56
  I feel like I've healed from a lot of it.
• 46:58
  I've been in therapy for years. It's it's felt like it's been
• 47:02
  the right time for a long time. So the decade felt significant.
• 47:06
  10 years always feels significant.
• 47:08
  Absolutely. And now we end up here on Odin
• 47:11
  St. You're comeback single after a
• 47:14
  decade from being gone. You did release a demo for
• 47:16
  reasons not to die. I did, but this is the comeback.
• 47:19
  Which was kind of pulled out of me.
• 47:21
  They're like, what if for the 10 year?
• 47:23
  Because those were those were some of the people that I met
• 47:25
  when I was 18 in New York, like week one.
• 47:27
  Yeah, being like, I'm going to be, I'm going to be an artist.
• 47:30
  You're going to know my name, this, that, the other.
• 47:32
  And so the Neon Gold kids were some of the first people I met.
• 47:35
  So they asked on the 10 year for them, right. 10 year of them is
• 47:39
  a label. Yeah, that's right.
• 47:40
  Can we please put one of yours on?
• 47:42
  And I'm like, no, I'm not ready. I don't want to do it.
• 47:44
  And they're like, what if we just put it on as a demo?
• 47:48
  And I was like, OK, OK, I'll do that.
• 47:49
  Is do you think reasons not going to reasons not to die will
• 47:52
  have its own life on this next project or is it that's just a
• 47:55
  stand? Alone.
• 47:56
  No, it's a stand alone, but it will obviously be all my shows
• 48:01
  because as much as it's a shout out to Max, as much as it's a
• 48:04
  demo, he really brought it and it feels like what would be what
• 48:09
  would we add? Like we, we did a great, great
• 48:12
  job. So I feel like it exists as as
• 48:15
  it is. I know it's such a phenomenal
• 48:17
  song. I love it.
• 48:18
  Very, very you very real. Like vulnerable.
• 48:21
  Yeah. And I think that's what I.
• 48:23
  Was the thick of it. It was when I was really going
• 48:26
  through it and I was dealing with pretty high suicidality,
• 48:30
  trigger warning, I was not doing very well.
• 48:32
  I was in a very, very dark place and kind of reeling from a
• 48:35
  trauma before I was willing to accept it and look at it and
• 48:39
  maybe self medicating. And so I had a little close
• 48:44
  call, I would say. And my friends immediately flew
• 48:48
  to LA to take care of me, were sleeping in my bed with me.
• 48:53
  And it was just like a really important moment.
• 48:55
  So it felt important to honor those people.
• 48:58
  Yeah, in my life. Well, how are you now?
• 49:00
  I'm. Great.
• 49:01
  Yeah. But I mean, like, it's been a
• 49:03
  long journey to come back, yeah. Absolutely.
• 49:05
  And then this new era. So we begin with Odin St.
• 49:08
  Yeah. So you've said this in your
• 49:11
  Billboard interview, but you said that Odin St. picks up
• 49:13
  where the fool left off. Yeah.
• 49:15
  And Odin in mythology is the God of wisdom.
• 49:20
  I don't want to get into the concept of Odin St. and the
• 49:23
  imagery that you have behind it with the single cover and
• 49:26
  everything, but tell us where Odin St. came about, how that
• 49:29
  song began existing. Oh, gosh, I think there was just
• 49:33
  such a magical house. Yeah.
• 49:35
  And it was like Grey Gardens for me.
• 49:38
  I kind of hid in there. I never really left.
• 49:40
  I invited people over. It was.
• 49:42
  Like your sanctuary? It was my sanctuary.
• 49:44
  It was. My.
• 49:45
  It was my. Bunker, It was like somewhere
• 49:47
  where I could feel protected and safe in my own home.
• 49:49
  Yeah, well, also, you know, living out a bit of this love
• 49:53
  story, throwing parties, you know, being young too, it was
• 49:58
  like my first intention at, you know, I got everything I wanted
• 50:02
  and it wasn't how I wanted it. Realizing I had to, I had to
• 50:05
  start again and try over. And so it was just a nice time.
• 50:11
  It was a crazy time. I had people move in with me.
• 50:13
  I couldn't be alone. I was dark.
• 50:15
  I mean, I was, I was partying. I was staying up all night.
• 50:18
  Please don't leave. You know that kind of.
• 50:20
  Energy. I've been there.
• 50:21
  I so got it. Need this aching need, but
• 50:24
  that's very normal after you. Actually talk about that in the
• 50:26
  song. Calling.
• 50:27
  Yeah, cutting. Cutting off, cutting up a label
• 50:29
  deal and running away. Well, how do you reconcile with
• 50:31
  that? Like you said, all your dreams
• 50:32
  came true and then you're like, oh, maybe it wasn't exactly what
• 50:35
  I thought was going to be or what I wanted.
• 50:36
  Like how do you how do you deal with that?
• 50:38
  That's such a heavy thing to. I think you can deal with fit by
• 50:41
  getting directly into therapy and working through it.
• 50:43
  But I think I was self medicating and hooking up with a
• 50:46
  Raven haired daddy and just living my best life period as a
• 50:52
  as a, as a young girl And the story.
• 50:53
  But you pay for it, but you pay for it later.
• 50:55
  The longer that you wait to to look in the mirror, you know,
• 50:59
  and really finger the wounds and see how deep they go.
• 51:02
  I mean it takes the time it takes.
• 51:05
  So Odin St. was the literal St. that you lived on following the
• 51:08
  whole cycle with the full album. But not only that, but Odin, in
• 51:12
  mythology, he is a God of wisdom and he represents the people who
• 51:17
  are willing to sacrifice and give things up in the pursuit of
• 51:20
  wisdom. Do you feel like that's the
• 51:22
  journey that you're on now? It's been the journey I feel
• 51:28
  with me in particular. Also online keep calling me
• 51:30
  crazy because I never learned. You should stop loving fire
• 51:34
  because. I burned.
• 51:35
  And I feel like I've always been a very tactile learner.
• 51:38
  I have to experience it for myself.
• 51:40
  There's all the, you know, people can be very be wary of
• 51:43
  this. And I am like, let me see for
• 51:46
  myself, right. So I think I need to trial by
• 51:50
  fire. Interesting.
• 51:52
  So I think I, it was just this, this journey of making mistakes
• 51:57
  and, and figuring out the parameters and how far I could
• 52:04
  step towards the edge in each direction.
• 52:06
  But I think now once you undertake that journey, you
• 52:11
  eventually kind of learn you sort of want to ride the flux
• 52:15
  and that it's not about the high highs and the lowest, the low
• 52:17
  lows. But that's a path that you have
• 52:18
  to go on to figure that out. Like it's it's.
• 52:21
  Similar you were, you were raised, as you said, like kind
• 52:24
  of sheltered. That's right.
• 52:25
  I was too. So I and I was very rebellious.
• 52:28
  Yeah. Someone spilled that into the
• 52:31
  mixture. So I think I had to kind of like
• 52:33
  when you're in a pool. Yeah.
• 52:34
  And you have to push from one side to the other.
• 52:37
  I think I had the pendulum for a long time to finds, like others,
• 52:41
  beauty in the Gray. Not everything's black and
• 52:43
  white. Everything is, you know,
• 52:45
  all-encompassing and. Especially being young and
• 52:47
  everything's so sensationalized and catastrophized and
• 52:49
  everything's so big, and it reflects in your music too, and
• 52:52
  what you're going through. Yeah, and I feel like growing up
• 52:55
  raised religious myself, that's so much black and white
• 52:59
  thinking. And I think a part of my journey
• 53:02
  here on this earth at this time is to really embrace nuance and
• 53:08
  like the Gray because it's so easy to fall into these
• 53:11
  patterns. I think that's kind of one of
• 53:13
  my, my, my tools or my, my gifts that I'm learning about myself
• 53:20
  overtime is that I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm good in the Gray.
• 53:24
  Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
• 53:25
  So we talked about the sacrifices and Odin famously
• 53:29
  sacrificed and I in pursuit of wisdom.
• 53:32
  I want to talk about the single art for Odin Street.
• 53:35
  So on the single art we have Rin.
• 53:38
  Did you print everything? Oh yeah, I did we got a budget
• 53:41
  over here. So if you guys aren't watching
• 53:44
  on the video version of the show, this is the single art for
• 53:47
  Rin Weaver's comeback single Odin St. and it is her looking
• 53:53
  as phenomenal as ever, like a feral, but she has a blacked out
• 53:58
  eye on the single cover. I do.
• 54:00
  Let's talk about it. What's going on here?
• 54:02
  Can we like give it up for the hair for a second?
• 54:05
  Oh hell yeah. OK, Leo.
• 54:06
  No, no. Like it was definitely not the
• 54:08
  intention, but it looks good doing my hair that day.
• 54:11
  She's like, let me curl it up and then I'll definitely loosen
• 54:15
  it up. But once I have those ringlets,
• 54:16
  I was like shaking my head. Oh yeah.
• 54:18
  I was like, oh, let's give DRAM. The video and the visuals that
• 54:21
  you have. Delulu.
• 54:23
  It's delulu and it looks delulu and see you guys when you're
• 54:26
  delulu, you look good. That's good when you delete.
• 54:29
  That Oh yeah, But what was the decision to black out the eye?
• 54:32
  So on like a video level and an image level, I always a friend
• 54:38
  of mine that was going to shoot the video, which hopefully we do
• 54:41
  eventually. We're manifesting that.
• 54:43
  Has a friend who paints contacts.
• 54:45
  And so I loved this idea because it really was the house down the
• 54:49
  road from wisdom. It was the first intent, but I
• 54:52
  was incapable. I didn't have the language or
• 54:55
  the tools to kind of grow that quickly while I was there.
• 54:59
  So I loved this idea of, and we'll talk about the hangman and
• 55:03
  all of that too, but I love the idea of I wanted it to start
• 55:07
  with this jade eye like this pure kind of green attempt and
• 55:12
  have it slowly kind of black veins coming in and kind of
• 55:15
  becoming this necrosis eye. So instead of really making the
• 55:19
  sacrifice to pluck the eye to see, it was like one foot in and
• 55:23
  out the house down the road from wisdom.
• 55:25
  It was actually that my eye was turning black instead of.
• 55:28
  It's a process. Instead of just going full and
• 55:30
  jumping in, ripping out the eye and making that sacrifice, it's
• 55:33
  like you're on that path to decide if you want a.
• 55:35
  Second thing, yeah, it was I was, I was starting to fall down
• 55:39
  the rabbit hole, I would say. Absolutely.
• 55:41
  But to that end, there was a I sent you that thing.
• 55:46
  Yeah, about the tarot, the tarot cards.
• 55:48
  It like blew my mind. Absolutely.
• 55:50
  What was it? What was it?
• 55:51
  The Hangman. Yeah, the Hangman, Yeah.
• 55:52
  And then also just the numerology of everything
• 55:55
  reverse. That's right.
• 55:57
  And then Hangman Records is where you're releasing this
• 55:59
  music. Yes, my new record label that
• 56:02
  I've started for myself is called Hangman Records.
• 56:06
  And I loved the relationship between Odin also hung himself
• 56:10
  from the tree of the universe to collect these runes that also
• 56:14
  contributed to his wisdom. And there's a lot of crossover
• 56:17
  with that and like hanging from a tree for sacrifice, which
• 56:20
  that's. Right.
• 56:21
  You know, I was like, this must be the hangman.
• 56:24
  And I'd already had that feeling and understanding that the
• 56:27
  Hangman is a tarot card that represents necessary time off.
• 56:31
  That's right, pulling back the arrow kind of resting in the
• 56:35
  suspension. It's also the next step in the
• 56:37
  foolish journey. So that's, that's the crazy
• 56:40
  thing. We are.
• 56:41
  I asked Chat 2 BT yesterday to give me a, a full rundown on
• 56:45
  both the Hangman and the Hangman reverse tarot.
• 56:49
  And they went to mythological examples.
• 56:52
  Yeah. And one of them was Odin.
• 56:54
  And I was like, knew it. Uncanny.
• 56:56
  That's so crazy. And then at the bottom it said
• 56:58
  this is the Fool's journey and I got shivers.
• 57:02
  It says the full tarot card goes directly to the Hangman, which
• 57:07
  is 12. The card is is the 12th in the
• 57:11
  Major Arcana. And then that's the requirement
• 57:14
  is the next card, which is 13, which is death, which is eco
• 57:18
  death or I like always wanted to do this image of kind of a 12
• 57:22
  hour clock. Yeah glitching out and then
• 57:24
  there being a 13 hour clock yeah while hanging from a tree and it
• 57:31
  kind of rotating from the bottom necessary time off where then
• 57:36
  once the card is reversed it's like stagnants, loss of loss of
• 57:41
  the plot it's addictions it's all kinds of it's all the things
• 57:46
  that happen when you wait too long and kind of lose lose your
• 57:51
  lose your way. So I love the reverse hangman
• 57:54
  and kind of Odin St. being this. It started out the right
• 57:59
  intention, but over time it sort of took on a a different face.
• 58:04
  That's so crazy because it all ties in together, and that
• 58:06
  wasn't even necessarily. Intentional.
• 58:07
  It wasn't intentional at all. So I just love yeah,
• 58:10
  synchronicity. Oh my God, it's always there.
• 58:12
  And you know what's interesting too?
• 58:13
  So with The Fool, which was your debut album, it followed the
• 58:17
  theme of the Fool's journey in Tarot.
• 58:19
  And you actually referenced Tarot in this new song as well.
• 58:22
  You talk about falling from the tower, Yes.
• 58:24
  So what does it mean to you to fall from the tower?
• 58:27
  Like, literally and figuratively.
• 58:29
  I mean, you know, I was. Chaos.
• 58:32
  Chaos. The disarray, the lightning.
• 58:34
  Oh no, the lightning from my fingertips on the shirt.
• 58:37
  If. You guys aren't watching on the
• 58:38
  video version of the show? I'm wearing an OG Rin Weaver
• 58:41
  shirt right now and it's her hand and lightning coming out of
• 58:44
  it. Yeah, yeah.
• 58:46
  So the lightning's striking the tower and you falling from the
• 58:48
  tower. That's right.
• 58:49
  And so, I mean, I fell from a major label.
• 58:54
  I felt that I was staying and you know, in Benny Blanco's
• 58:57
  beautiful home with Cashmere Cat.
• 58:59
  So in in more ways than one I felt from the tower, but more
• 59:03
  maybe dove head first from the tower.
• 59:07
  Do you feel like you fell from the tower or you're escaping
• 59:09
  from the tower? Or is the tower crumbling and
• 59:12
  then a consequence? I think my my, my tower was
• 59:16
  crumbling and so I think it was a necessary part of the journey.
• 59:22
  But yes, I definitely dove head first from the tower, from from
• 59:27
  my turret. You.
• 59:28
  Know And this is where the next story begins.
• 59:31
  So which is a true continuation of the Fool?
• 59:33
  Yeah, I kind of think they both are strange little plays about
• 59:37
  different points of my life. And I don't think it'll always
• 59:40
  feel so narrative, but I feel like this was necessary as kind
• 59:43
  of a a companion to the Fool because I always knew that this
• 59:47
  one would almost be a photo negative and there'd be a darker
• 59:51
  color palette. Absolutely.
• 59:54
  Where I think like the fool was boisterous and like these, it's
• 59:57
  got the red, it's got the blue, it's got the yellow, it's got it
• 1:00:00
  was very bright and young. It was Technicolor.
• 1:00:02
  It was Technicolor and I feel like this one, the color palette
• 1:00:06
  is like Crimson or or oxblood and and void, void black and
• 1:00:13
  then like bioluminescence blue. Oh yeah, like from the sea, like
• 1:00:17
  where I grew up. It's like the algae.
• 1:00:19
  It's called the Red Tide I. Know exactly what you're talking
• 1:00:21
  about. Yeah, it's like blowing.
• 1:00:23
  Yeah. It's, it was my first feeling of
• 1:00:25
  like actual magic and like stepping on the on the sand and
• 1:00:29
  seeing it glow. So it's kind of this, gosh, like
• 1:00:34
  this, this magical blue that as much as there's deep indigos and
• 1:00:38
  yeah, I just feel like it's, it's almost, it's like a
• 1:00:40
  resurrect magic, a resurrective color, yeah.
• 1:00:43
  Oh my gosh. So you know what?
• 1:00:45
  At the end of the full music video, you enter a portal.
• 1:00:48
  I wanted to ask is. This playing too much with the
• 1:00:51
  me too with the. Bear Delulu Bear's comfy wumpy.
• 1:00:53
  Delulu Bear. Is this window like the portal?
• 1:00:57
  Yeah. So I loved it kind of.
• 1:00:59
  I'm running through a portal at the end of the full music video,
• 1:01:03
  kind of running away from, I guess my past, but then kind of
• 1:01:09
  falling through it. And that was meant to indicate
• 1:01:12
  the fool falling off the Cliff. But I love this idea of me
• 1:01:15
  running through one portal and landing directly in this sort of
• 1:01:18
  new darker storyline. Oh my God, Yeah.
• 1:01:22
  With similar, I mean, but that video color palette, black, red,
• 1:01:25
  I mean, the themes remain. The themes remain.
• 1:01:28
  They're just. Absolutely.
• 1:01:29
  Yeah, it's what happens when you run away.
• 1:01:32
  And maybe it doesn't all go according to plan.
• 1:01:36
  If you make all the right mistakes for it to to have to,
• 1:01:39
  you know, spiral down the staircase and realize that the
• 1:01:43
  limit does not exist. Realizing that there is no
• 1:01:47
  bottom, you have to find your way back up.
• 1:01:49
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm really acknowledging that
• 1:01:51
  there is more. It doesn't just end.
• 1:01:54
  It doesn't just. Stop.
• 1:01:55
  End. You don't have to to spiral
• 1:01:57
  forever. Interesting.
• 1:01:58
  Yeah, absolutely. Death defying spiral down the
• 1:02:02
  rabbit hole. Ran, we're officially in this
• 1:02:05
  new era and it has been a long time coming.
• 1:02:07
  And you've already described the colours of this new era, this
• 1:02:10
  new album. Yeah, darker, deeper.
• 1:02:13
  Let's change the studio lights to would you say a deep red?
• 1:02:15
  Deep red for this new album bread.
• 1:02:17
  Can we do a deep red for the I love that the Stew Stew Delulu
• 1:02:20
  Studios. Delulu Stew Sue.
• 1:02:22
  Oh, here we go. Oh.
• 1:02:25
  Oh, kind of pinky. Oh, oh, there's the red.
• 1:02:29
  Lovely. How do we feel?
• 1:02:31
  How do we feel I. Feel good it.
• 1:02:33
  Feels dramatic. It feels intense.
• 1:02:36
  It feels theatric. Absolutely.
• 1:02:38
  It's everything that you want with this next story.
• 1:02:40
  So you know, what's interesting is we talked about and you were
• 1:02:42
  like there were so many different drastics of the highs
• 1:02:43
  and lows of that situation with the Fool and moving into this
• 1:02:47
  next era. Do you still feel like this is
• 1:02:49
  still on that side of the spectrum of being very intense
• 1:02:52
  versus like, you know, the grey that you're mentioning and the
• 1:02:54
  nuance? But is it still like?
• 1:02:56
  Well, a lot of this, yeah, comes from those very intense years.
• 1:03:01
  So now this is this is full leaning in to the drama, the
• 1:03:06
  drama. And I mean, it's it was this big
• 1:03:09
  doomed love story, really. And then kind of having to
• 1:03:12
  reclaim myself and also decenter, decenter men and
• 1:03:20
  really remember like the lifeblood of of everything is is
• 1:03:26
  the female experience kind of kind of making amends with that
• 1:03:29
  side of things. There's a there's a song on it
• 1:03:33
  dedicated to a dear friend of mine who went through a similar.
• 1:03:36
  She was this kind of bright light to anyone who saw her.
• 1:03:40
  But it was clear to me, anyone who like shares that little
• 1:03:42
  chasm, it's like, oh, you're you're not doing OK.
• 1:03:46
  And she's like, how did you know?
• 1:03:48
  But you know, to others it's like you seem.
• 1:03:50
  Like like bubbly, bright, bubbly, bright and vibrant.
• 1:03:53
  So yeah, I think, I think as the record progresses, it sort of
• 1:03:57
  does a decentering for sure. Let's talk about this new album.
• 1:04:01
  OK, so you're a concept artist. The fool followed a very strong
• 1:04:04
  concept. Do you have a concept for this
• 1:04:06
  album? Isn't going to follow a strong
• 1:04:07
  concept as well. I don't know so much if this
• 1:04:11
  one's a strong concept. I guess it is.
• 1:04:17
  I mean. It's more autobiographical.
• 1:04:18
  It's autobiographical, but also the title, which I'm not giving
• 1:04:22
  away yet, represents this behavior of hurting yourself, to
• 1:04:29
  heal yourself, to get rid of the sick.
• 1:04:33
  And it doesn't work. It's like an archaic act, and I
• 1:04:38
  think this period of time, in a very rock'n'roll sort of way,
• 1:04:43
  was me kind of hurting myself to heal myself.
• 1:04:46
  Would you say it was like masochism?
• 1:04:48
  It was masochistic, but but not intentionally, maybe because of,
• 1:04:53
  you know, being raised Catholic and also.
• 1:04:55
  You didn't know better. You know better.
• 1:04:58
  And I think sometimes you can bet everything to lose it all.
• 1:05:02
  And I think in my life, I've, I feel very lucky, but I also feel
• 1:05:07
  on my secret language of birthdays, my day is represented
• 1:05:11
  by the wheel of fortune. Yeah.
• 1:05:13
  And the wheel of fortune represents great windfalls and
• 1:05:16
  then great losses. Yeah.
• 1:05:18
  So I think for some people, that is sort of how things move.
• 1:05:24
  But yeah. Did I answer that question?
• 1:05:26
  You did kind of. I think what you're trying to
• 1:05:28
  say is there's not necessarily a concept that you want went in
• 1:05:31
  with with the album, but this is about your journey and.
• 1:05:34
  There's just a lot of themes that repeated themselves.
• 1:05:36
  So over time, some of these songs were kind of different
• 1:05:39
  songs. And once I got more of the
• 1:05:41
  vocabulary to work on them and maybe my taste changed a bit,
• 1:05:47
  suddenly the song became this different song.
• 1:05:49
  But all of these themes have have just existed in this.
• 1:05:53
  So it all feels just very indicative of a deck this decade
• 1:05:58
  of my life. Yeah, let's talk about that.
• 1:06:00
  So you mentioned that with the Fool.
• 1:06:02
  The first album, it essentially was finished and wrapped up in
• 1:06:04
  10 days. Yeah.
• 1:06:05
  Now, in contrast, we have an album a decade in the making.
• 1:06:09
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:06:09
  So what's the difference between, you know, making such a
• 1:06:12
  phenomenal album under the gun really quickly, and now you have
• 1:06:15
  a decade of experience that you're writing with?
• 1:06:18
  Yeah. Did any of those original songs
• 1:06:19
  after The Fool, are they making it onto this project too, like
• 1:06:23
  as you're writing over the years, Yeah, I'd say a.
• 1:06:27
  Couple of them I've revisited, there's like 1 from 2016 that
• 1:06:31
  I'm like, gosh and some are going on in like a deluxe.
• 1:06:35
  It's crazy, some of these feelings that I was writing
• 1:06:38
  about at that time. It's it's crazy how you can
• 1:06:42
  stagnate within a relationship or whatever, and you're like,
• 1:06:46
  damn. I mean, I, I was predicting back
• 1:06:48
  then this had to stop, you know? But yeah, I'd say some of the
• 1:06:54
  songs remain almost entirely intact as they were as far as
• 1:06:58
  the writing. Yeah.
• 1:07:01
  But of course, the sounds change because it's onically long.
• 1:07:06
  Yeah. And.
• 1:07:07
  Then you're making this album as if it's telling the story over
• 1:07:11
  the past decade. Yeah.
• 1:07:12
  And that's the new journey that. Yeah.
• 1:07:14
  And so a lot of these are stories in there.
• 1:07:17
  In the timeline and then some of them, it's nice to be able to
• 1:07:20
  kind of revisit and kind of have a new perspective while shaping,
• 1:07:26
  shaping, reshaping the song. And we're getting a little
• 1:07:30
  another taste of this. Album coming out with your next
• 1:07:33
  single. Can we talk about your next
• 1:07:35
  single? Yes, we may.
• 1:07:36
  Yeah, let's get into it. So what is?
• 1:07:38
  The next single. What is it about?
• 1:07:40
  OK, it's called. It's called Rorschach baby.
• 1:07:45
  So like a Rorschach test, an inkblot test where you look at
• 1:07:50
  it and you kind of see not even what you want to see, but you
• 1:07:52
  see what you see, what you see, and then you interpret it.
• 1:07:56
  As whatever it might be showing up as to you.
• 1:07:58
  Yeah, yeah. And this actually came.
• 1:08:02
  After an attempted break with said, that situation was on
• 1:08:07
  again, off again. Oh, I mean it was a mess.
• 1:08:10
  But I. Tried to end it at the top of
• 1:08:15
  COVID before I knew it was COVID.
• 1:08:17
  And that's its own kind of traumatic thing because then
• 1:08:22
  literally I was trying to end it.
• 1:08:23
  And then we were in shutdown. The world shut down.
• 1:08:26
  Yeah. I was like, oh, God.
• 1:08:27
  Oh, God. And your alliance already?
• 1:08:29
  Yeah. I'm like, stick to your guns.
• 1:08:31
  Stick to your guns. But there was this other guy who
• 1:08:36
  looked basically just, I was, I was just projecting my next or
• 1:08:41
  projecting my love from one to the next.
• 1:08:43
  And we kind of had this conversation early on where he's
• 1:08:46
  like, I think you need time to heal.
• 1:08:48
  And I'm like, no, no, no, no, I, I'm feeling all this for you and
• 1:08:51
  I, I love you. And then I went to go play on
• 1:08:53
  the piano and started trying to write this love song to him.
• 1:08:58
  And I was like, he's, he's right.
• 1:09:00
  I'm, I'm transferring these emotions from this space to this
• 1:09:04
  space. And so it was kind of there was
• 1:09:06
  a minute where I was hitting some, some walls and some snacks
• 1:09:10
  because I, I wasn't learning the lesson I needed to.
• 1:09:12
  And you're going to, it's a very playful song.
• 1:09:16
  It's a, it's a very playful song.
• 1:09:17
  So you were quoted as saying the song is your ADHD.
• 1:09:21
  Song for the girls, Days and days.
• 1:09:23
  Yeah, yeah, it's a it's, it's a lot.
• 1:09:26
  It's a lot. Oh, do you want some lyrics?
• 1:09:29
  Yes. Spill, spill.
• 1:09:31
  Give us some exclusive. Lulu OK the rush of it trick of
• 1:09:34
  the. Mind thrill of a want need I
• 1:09:37
  cannot define pendulum swing new N shift course I can alchemize
• 1:09:43
  crop the edge spangle the frame so hot for teacher, but we are
• 1:09:48
  the same scream the void screams right back.
• 1:09:52
  Hear the LAX feedback. The catch?
• 1:09:54
  Release the casualties while running to and from where I'd
• 1:09:57
  begun. And if the keys inside of me
• 1:10:01
  then go ahead, come find it with that piece tacked in your
• 1:10:03
  waistband. Oh, you said to me that you
• 1:10:06
  could be just anyone. I saw you as the sun while
• 1:10:10
  granting all my gravity. It's not your fault I made you
• 1:10:14
  an art just to hide from me. You're like a Rorschach baby.
• 1:10:17
  I see what I want to see. I'm still a lost God maker in
• 1:10:20
  search of the missing piece, but you're a feedback loop of a
• 1:10:24
  truth hard to undo. Rorschach baby.
• 1:10:26
  I see what I want to. Oh my God, that was like.
• 1:10:30
  Fucking I feel like slam poetry. I didn't really feel like it was
• 1:10:34
  slam poetry. You just.
• 1:10:35
  Gave a monologue there you. Go, holy shit.
• 1:10:37
  I feel like that was like a Riddle, 'cause I was a little
• 1:10:39
  riddily, kind of. I was like I was listening and
• 1:10:41
  following through. And I was like, oh, but.
• 1:10:42
  There's another thing coming up now, and there's another thing.
• 1:10:44
  Oh my God, that's incredible. Thank you for that.
• 1:10:46
  Of course. Are we excited for this release?
• 1:10:48
  And why was this decided to be the?
• 1:10:49
  Next one, do you think you know 'cause there's some big heavier?
• 1:10:53
  Ones coming down the pipeline and I think, you know, my the
• 1:10:56
  first song I released, it always felt like that was the important
• 1:10:59
  introduction because it's right where I landed and then
• 1:11:03
  Rorschach feels playful, but it's still really digging into
• 1:11:07
  some psychological stuff and I wanted to I want to you know, if
• 1:11:10
  I'm I'm kind of waterfalling some songs as I go because
• 1:11:13
  that's sort of the way things work these days.
• 1:11:16
  I want to get some of the kind of poppy.
• 1:11:20
  Fun ones. Early to be like come with me
• 1:11:22
  down the rabbit hole. Would you say this one?
• 1:11:24
  Would you like compare it more? Similarly to like something like
• 1:11:27
  Pierre or Octahate, I'd say this is kind of an AN.
• 1:11:31
  Octahate's older sister. Oh my God, definitely.
• 1:11:35
  But instead. Of.
• 1:11:36
  Pointing the finger, it's very much the self-awareness taking
• 1:11:40
  it in. Yeah, Oh my gosh.
• 1:11:43
  Oh my God, that's I can't. Believe you like dropped all
• 1:11:45
  that and you had it like I feel like that was a it was a very a
• 1:11:48
  lot of lyric, a lot of word that a word very Ridley.
• 1:11:51
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:11:52
  And then this one's for sure. So this is the next one that
• 1:11:54
  leads. Into the album.
• 1:11:55
  Are we gonna get more singles before the album comes about
• 1:11:58
  too? Yes.
• 1:11:59
  How far along are we on with the album?
• 1:12:01
  I mean, we're we're we're. We're there.
• 1:12:04
  The problem is we're killing a lot of ideas right now.
• 1:12:07
  Yeah, cuz it is 10 years of ideas and deciding you know,
• 1:12:11
  where the story fits, which which stay, which to go and.
• 1:12:13
  You know, is this. Really giving what I want cuz I
• 1:12:18
  mean we have just as many beautiful bright ideas as the
• 1:12:21
  ones that are really dark. So finding the balance that
• 1:12:24
  really feels like this is but we're we're moving on along.
• 1:12:28
  I'm renting me a tutor that's will be on my budget currently
• 1:12:32
  and we're we're finishing up some songs.
• 1:12:33
  Yeah, full circle finishing up some songs at this.
• 1:12:36
  House. And yeah, I mean, it's coming
• 1:12:40
  and we're going to do like a lot of kind of waterfall these
• 1:12:42
  songs, and then we're going to drop a track list announcement
• 1:12:47
  with a song that is the title of the record, but the song will
• 1:12:52
  not be on the record. It just sets the tone.
• 1:12:55
  It sets the tone, yeah. So what made the?
• 1:12:57
  Decision to exclude the. Song off of the record if you're
• 1:13:00
  titling it after it. I just thought it was badass.
• 1:13:04
  I think it's cooler to like have this beautiful, almost like a a
• 1:13:08
  trailer song. Yeah, for this journey, so
• 1:13:10
  cinematic, but where, you know, sometimes.
• 1:13:11
  And I loved having a title track of the Fool.
• 1:13:14
  I thought that was so sweet. Yes.
• 1:13:15
  But I feel like for this one, it's an unnecessary color, but
• 1:13:19
  it's an important color to to set the set the scene.
• 1:13:23
  So we are getting the song, but it won't be on that one.
• 1:13:25
  It won't be on. The album, it's the
• 1:13:26
  announcement, so I. Have to ask because my friend
• 1:13:29
  Cisco. Has been obsessing bestie Cisco
• 1:13:33
  bestie. He wants to know if devil's
• 1:13:35
  advocate will ever have a life. You played on a Periscope maybe
• 1:13:37
  a decade ago and he's been talking about it non-stop for
• 1:13:40
  the past 10 years. I love devil's advocate, I feel.
• 1:13:44
  Like a devil's advocate could actually exist.
• 1:13:46
  Maybe after this record, I would want to, like, play with it.
• 1:13:50
  I don't even know if I still have the track.
• 1:13:51
  I think I messaged somebody about it a while ago asking if
• 1:13:56
  they had it. So I have to find the track and
• 1:13:58
  then revisit it. But I yeah, I mean, gosh, that's
• 1:14:02
  a good one. That's one of the only Cutting
• 1:14:04
  Room Floor songs I have from the Fool, because we really just
• 1:14:08
  finished. Yeah.
• 1:14:10
  And I think that's that's the cutting room floor song.
• 1:14:13
  Just just because, but not because it wasn't really cool.
• 1:14:17
  Yeah. We just didn't really get to it.
• 1:14:19
  So still a chance for a life for Devil's outfit.
• 1:14:21
  Still a. Chance.
• 1:14:22
  Or maybe I put it out as a as. A demo at some point.
• 1:14:25
  Oh my God, we would all appreciate and love it.
• 1:14:27
  Thank you. You have.
• 1:14:27
  So much music that you've been sitting on.
• 1:14:29
  So we're welcoming anything sitting on.
• 1:14:32
  Sitting on? Not for long.
• 1:14:34
  Just. Just stating.
• 1:14:36
  Of course, a 10 year child, Of course.
• 1:14:38
  Get it out. Yeah.
• 1:14:40
  And we're ready. Get it out.
• 1:14:41
  Birth her. Birth her right here on the
• 1:14:43
  show. I'd be I'd be birthing.
• 1:14:45
  I'd be birthing your mother. Mothering.
• 1:14:49
  Thank you. For everything I hung ethereal.
• 1:14:51
  Mother. Absolutely.
• 1:14:52
  Yeah. On brand, we were just talking
• 1:14:54
  about that, yes. OK, Ren, so you posed a question
• 1:14:59
  in The Fool, the album and on the closing track, New
• 1:15:03
  Constellations. What if there's more?
• 1:15:05
  Yeah, what is more that we can expect from Rin?
• 1:15:09
  We have the new album coming, new album coming.
• 1:15:11
  We have the new single. New single.
• 1:15:14
  What else is cooking? Another one.
• 1:15:16
  Then another. One, then another one.
• 1:15:18
  I mean, you say that now. No, I'm doing it.
• 1:15:21
  I'm. Doing it this time I'm not.
• 1:15:22
  I'm not, I'm not stopping anytime soon.
• 1:15:24
  Good. The time off was super necessary
• 1:15:27
  for me, but also you take so much time off and you you feel
• 1:15:32
  sort of warped. You feel like what who am I is
• 1:15:35
  the tree is the tree in the woods with nobody to to hear it.
• 1:15:38
  But what's that? What's that Fiona Apple lyric?
• 1:15:41
  I know a sound is still a sound around no one about the tree
• 1:15:45
  falling in the that's right. So but yeah, I don't think I'll
• 1:15:48
  I'll take a break anytime soon. I think I took I think I took my
• 1:15:51
  break. Well, how was it?
• 1:15:53
  I used my vacation days. Oh.
• 1:15:54
  My God, you're PTO. I took it I.
• 1:15:57
  Took it and I ran with it. Absolutely.
• 1:15:59
  So then I'm gonna do yeah, just releasing more songs, album
• 1:16:03
  drop, touring, touring next year.
• 1:16:06
  I mean, I'd love to do. I think we're talking some spot
• 1:16:08
  dates prior. I lost it putting out a
• 1:16:11
  Christmas song. Oh my gosh, you're working.
• 1:16:14
  Oh, you're clocked. In I'm clocked in, you're
• 1:16:16
  clocked in. But I wanted to do that because
• 1:16:17
  I. I don't know if you know this,
• 1:16:19
  but growing up, one of my one of my jobs from when I think I was
• 1:16:24
  like 13 was I did the Christmas tree lighting every year at the
• 1:16:28
  local mall and they hired me annually to just like do this
• 1:16:33
  this Christmas concert. And so I love Christmas songs,
• 1:16:37
  but there's one in particular that I feel ties heavily into
• 1:16:41
  this kind of sad, lovelorn world.
• 1:16:46
  And so if you know, Merry Christmas, darling, the
• 1:16:49
  carpenters, that's one of my favorites.
• 1:16:52
  And I wrote kind of a bee. Part for it as.
• 1:16:54
  Well, so I will be putting that out too.
• 1:16:56
  Oh, so you really aren't stopping?
• 1:16:58
  I'm not stopping. So there really is more from
• 1:17:00
  Ren. Weaver, I've been bored.
• 1:17:01
  It's time. It's time.
• 1:17:03
  Well. Welcome back.
• 1:17:04
  How was that? Reception coming back, releasing
• 1:17:06
  the comeback single, Yeah. And having people react so well
• 1:17:09
  to it and missing you so deeply. It was beautiful.
• 1:17:12
  I would just went on this. Reddit for it the other day.
• 1:17:16
  And that was my fear the whole the whole time.
• 1:17:18
  I mean, you just you've, we all have these negative voices and,
• 1:17:21
  you know, inertia is the killer. And so, you know, when you're
• 1:17:25
  moving, you're moving and when you're not, you're not.
• 1:17:28
  And so this feeling for so long, like what was I afraid of?
• 1:17:31
  Because I was afraid. And I mean, I was afraid just
• 1:17:34
  the industry at large, you know, throwing myself back out there
• 1:17:38
  in like a a world where there's a lot of sharks.
• 1:17:43
  But beyond that, like, what was I just afraid everyone would be
• 1:17:45
  like, oh, she lost the magic jump off a bridge.
• 1:17:49
  She you know what I mean? Like, what was the real fear?
• 1:17:51
  Because coming back almost universally, everyone was just
• 1:17:55
  so loving and this was the right choice.
• 1:17:57
  I was like, I'm singing this song really low.
• 1:17:59
  I'm stretching my range. I'm stretching the range of what
• 1:18:02
  people. It's extremely what received me.
• 1:18:05
  But I was just. Stunned.
• 1:18:07
  And so grateful. Everyone's just been really
• 1:18:10
  kind. So it's been a really lovely
• 1:18:12
  soft launch back into the industry, putting out a song on
• 1:18:17
  the 8th Rorschach. And that's also two days before
• 1:18:21
  my birthday. That's right.
• 1:18:22
  So I'm kind of doing this beautiful soft waterfall that's
• 1:18:26
  that's going to build. Just reintroducing yourself.
• 1:18:28
  Allow me to reintroduce. Myself well.
• 1:18:31
  Welcome back. Thank you SO.
• 1:18:33
  Being gone for so long, not being perceived.
• 1:18:36
  And you enjoyed it? I love not being perceived.
• 1:18:39
  It's so nice. If you're chasing that, please
• 1:18:42
  try take a little time off. It feels so good.
• 1:18:46
  I feel so lucky to have been able to recede for a while.
• 1:18:50
  As somebody who is always kind of front and center, I love, I
• 1:18:54
  love being a, a weird little woman in her Grey Gardens house.
• 1:18:57
  I love isolation. I love being a hermit.
• 1:19:00
  But you can also overdo that. So it's something I want to try.
• 1:19:04
  You got to find a balance because I I love my current
• 1:19:07
  partner doesn't have any social media either, which is so hot
• 1:19:12
  and he kind of you know, we we don't feel the need to to post
• 1:19:16
  our lives all the time. I know I'm about to have to do
• 1:19:18
  it like every day, but God, it felt nice to unplug.
• 1:19:22
  Yeah, absolutely. So now that you're being.
• 1:19:24
  Perceived again. How does that feel?
• 1:19:26
  I don't know. Oh, I don't know.
• 1:19:29
  Well. We love perceiving you, Rin
• 1:19:30
  Weaver. Thank you.
• 1:19:31
  I love. It I feel like I I.
• 1:19:33
  Prefer being perceived in an environment like this where
• 1:19:36
  we're just chit chatting, yes or on stage because I feel very
• 1:19:40
  comfortable there and we'll be seeing you a lot more on the tik
• 1:19:42
  toking, yes. The tik toking of it all trying
• 1:19:45
  to figure. That out, I've been, I've got
• 1:19:47
  to, I've got to break that seal. It's been scary.
• 1:19:50
  Let's break that seal. We're going to break that seal.
• 1:19:51
  We've been popping a lot of. Cherries today popping a.
• 1:19:53
  Lot of cherries. Today, look at this cherry.
• 1:19:55
  Cherry colored funk in here. Absolutely.
• 1:19:58
  It'll make more sense when the album's out, yeah.
• 1:20:00
  Absolutely revisit this. We gave a lot of tea on here.
• 1:20:03
  So what more can we expect from Ren?
• 1:20:05
  We have a new album, we have a new single, we have a tour.
• 1:20:08
  Yes. Are we getting a vinyl repress
• 1:20:10
  of the Fool? We are getting a vinyl repress
• 1:20:13
  of the Fool. We are because we had some extra
• 1:20:17
  ones sitting and so anyone who's been worried about those, they
• 1:20:20
  got misplaced by a contractor. We're very sad.
• 1:20:23
  Jamie's, Jamie's putting out herself.
• 1:20:25
  It happened. We're devastated.
• 1:20:27
  I'm devastated. Luckily we're redoing.
• 1:20:29
  We're doing a repressing ever. We're reshooting the cover 10
• 1:20:35
  years later. Oh my God, Kind of what we just
• 1:20:37
  did. We.
• 1:20:38
  Did we saw a little preview of? It right here on the.
• 1:20:40
  Lulu So just from a from an older perspective.
• 1:20:44
  And it's funny, I thought those songs were very dark at the time
• 1:20:47
  as a young person, but now you're reflecting your looking
• 1:20:50
  back, it's. Very bright.
• 1:20:52
  So I I. Love the idea of maybe like a
• 1:20:53
  clear pressing like the zero card, like just so fresh,
• 1:20:57
  absolutely and new, but then having the cover reflect sort of
• 1:21:01
  where I am looking back at it. I think that's a that's a
• 1:21:05
  special, special way to give it back.
• 1:21:07
  Well, we're so excited for and this is going to be for the 10
• 1:21:09
  year anniversary. Which are iterated already
• 1:21:12
  passed. It takes a little time.
• 1:21:13
  To do a pressing. So.
• 1:21:15
  We have to get that shoot in, yeah.
• 1:21:17
  And do you imagine it looking similar to the original cover?
• 1:21:21
  You know, I'm kind of just 10 years later, I'm.
• 1:21:23
  Oscillating between. Yeah, do I?
• 1:21:25
  Want to kind of, I think, I think it's from a stronger, more
• 1:21:29
  adult space, but the same image because I was just such a scared
• 1:21:34
  little baby. And I, I mean, I'm still
• 1:21:37
  nervous. I'm nervous to come back, but
• 1:21:39
  I'm not. I'm not that same little girl.
• 1:21:43
  Absolutely. And we're about to see that,
• 1:21:45
  yeah. And then would it just be a
• 1:21:46
  reprise Men? Oh.
• 1:21:48
  Period. You're full grown.
• 1:21:50
  I'm full grown. You're full grown.
• 1:21:52
  You're evolved. Yeah.
• 1:21:53
  Well, welcome. Thank you.
• 1:21:54
  We're so happy to be in GDC. Oh, my God.
• 1:21:58
  Well, how's it feeling? Coming back, I know.
• 1:22:00
  That this was like a lot and overwhelming for you.
• 1:22:03
  Overwhelming, but also overwhelming love.
• 1:22:05
  Absolutely understanding the fans have reacted so positively,
• 1:22:08
  so positively. It's insane.
• 1:22:09
  Oh, we've. Been missing you and craving?
• 1:22:11
  You and more. And that's like kept me going
• 1:22:13
  for so long because. Just knowing that there's a
• 1:22:15
  connection with your fans too. And remember a decade.
• 1:22:17
  Ago, like you would bring them on the tour bus and then you
• 1:22:19
  would hang out with them and you would really.
• 1:22:20
  Oh yeah, I'd bring them on the tour bus.
• 1:22:22
  You were living a. Rockstar life girl living a
• 1:22:24
  Rockstar. Life at the time, absolutely.
• 1:22:26
  Also shout out to Mariana I. Think your friend she she also
• 1:22:30
  is a bestie and we talked about you all my lives because I would
• 1:22:34
  play the fool and she would feel like you love Ren.
• 1:22:37
  You know Ren Weaver. I was like, yes, I love Ren
• 1:22:38
  Weaver and she's like, I'm friends of Ren Weaver.
• 1:22:39
  And I was like, that's crazy. Yeah, randomly I've stayed in
• 1:22:41
  touch with like so many people over the years and that's.
• 1:22:43
  Really kept me going because, you know, you can take so much
• 1:22:48
  time off that you feel like am I do I even do this anymore?
• 1:22:51
  Like it's confusing. So it's been nice to to check
• 1:22:54
  back in and, and feel that love. And yeah, that's that's been
• 1:22:57
  like a fire in my life. So randomly, this first release
• 1:23:02
  has really calmed me down because I think I was again, I
• 1:23:06
  think it's just catastrophizing. Catastrophizing just.
• 1:23:08
  Thinking the worst possible. Thing would happen.
• 1:23:10
  It was like the complete opposite and it was the complete
• 1:23:12
  opposite. Right.
• 1:23:13
  So I feel really. Safe and I mean I don't expect
• 1:23:16
  that forever, but I think it was a really nice yeah re entry yeah
• 1:23:22
  it was perfect cuz like honestly as a.
• 1:23:24
  Fan listening to it. It is a continuation of the fool
• 1:23:27
  and we love that story and we love seeing what's coming next.
• 1:23:30
  So we're so excited for what's next.
• 1:23:33
  OK, I wanted to get into a little bit of the T Lulu with
• 1:23:37
  you T Lulu you you have some shit.
• 1:23:39
  You have some T Lulu, I got some T You have some hot Goss Goss
• 1:23:42
  some. Do you have anything that you?
• 1:23:45
  Want to share? With the delulu besties, any any
• 1:23:48
  gos Goss, anything, any tea I can start if it makes me more
• 1:23:52
  comfortable. Start.
• 1:23:53
  Yeah, I have a gnarly one that's going.
• 1:23:55
  To be a bomb, and we are going to.
• 1:23:56
  Bleep this, Brett. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:23:58
  So mine is when I was 19, actually during the school era,
• 1:24:03
  Delulu asked me for nudes and asked me to give him a tululu to
• 1:24:10
  see him in concert. And I was down.
• 1:24:14
  But then I was taking too long to take the nudes because I
• 1:24:16
  didn't know how to take nudes at the time.
• 1:24:18
  And he blocked my ass. And that's my beef with Tululu.
• 1:24:22
  And we're bleeping that name. My God, Brett is so shook right
• 1:24:25
  now. God.
• 1:24:26
  I mean, I have endless tea, but what?
• 1:24:28
  Tea. Can I spell?
• 1:24:30
  What am I? Look, I'll give you my biggest
• 1:24:32
  ones. You get comfy.
• 1:24:33
  Ones don't. The more power that a guy gets,
• 1:24:39
  the more he kind of just bulldozes boundaries and you
• 1:24:42
  have to continue to set them. And I think when motherfuckers
• 1:24:45
  get comfy, they get too comfortable get.
• 1:24:47
  So comfy. Don't get so.
• 1:24:48
  Comfortable. No.
• 1:24:49
  No. No, no, no be.
• 1:24:50
  Comfortable with me? Go be, go be comfortable with.
• 1:24:52
  Somebody else. Period.
• 1:24:54
  Exactly. You shut your mouth.
• 1:24:55
  When you're talking to me, period.
• 1:24:57
  You letting them? Know.
• 1:24:58
  Yeah, hey. Dominatrix a little dumb.
• 1:25:00
  I did. I did a little.
• 1:25:02
  I worked in a dungeon for a while.
• 1:25:04
  I did. In my time off.
• 1:25:05
  I've lived a million lives. Oh my gosh, In your time off.
• 1:25:08
  In my time off. Oh my.
• 1:25:09
  God, you have lived a million lives.
• 1:25:10
  Are we going to be hearing about this in this new era?
• 1:25:12
  I don't know. I feel like this new era is
• 1:25:14
  taking place. In.
• 1:25:16
  A dungeon in a dungeon I feel like because even like the but I
• 1:25:19
  did I. Did that.
• 1:25:21
  Because. I did want to learn about I felt
• 1:25:23
  like certain powers of mind felt stripped from me and I wanted to
• 1:25:28
  study kind of. Power I.
• 1:25:30
  Wanted to study the people who came into those spaces.
• 1:25:33
  It was a it was a, it was a study in a way of kind of
• 1:25:36
  breaking free and freeing myself within that space and seeing how
• 1:25:39
  far I wanted to be pushed, how far I wanted to push things.
• 1:25:43
  I was a rope Bunny for a little bit.
• 1:25:45
  I mean, I'm naturally a switch. I would say.
• 1:25:47
  OK, yeah. Which is like not full Dom, not
• 1:25:51
  sub kind of like I like the idea of power dynamics shifting.
• 1:25:57
  Absolutely. Would you say like it depends on
• 1:25:59
  your mood or? Like depends on my what about
• 1:26:01
  the partner, depends on the energy that.
• 1:26:03
  The partner brings because some of y'all you're a sub.
• 1:26:07
  If you're a myself and Ren will make sure you know and you will.
• 1:26:10
  Know that you're my sub but. Yeah, but I don't mind a little
• 1:26:14
  sub switchy. Yeah, I love that.
• 1:26:17
  So there's some T Lulu. Thank you for that, T Lulu.
• 1:26:19
  Yeah, that's. The T Lulu I don't know if.
• 1:26:21
  We need to focus. On on messy daddies.
• 1:26:23
  But yes some of y'all are Subs and you need to accept that.
• 1:26:27
  Stop trying to be in charge. I mean, why are they combating
• 1:26:29
  it? I think that's the question.
• 1:26:32
  I think, well, there's there's a.
• 1:26:35
  Myriad of reasons from I would say kind of outright pipelines
• 1:26:39
  to menosphere people get I I blame social media.
• 1:26:42
  Some guys really think that they need to be Dom Daddy, when in
• 1:26:46
  reality you might just enjoy being stuff.
• 1:26:48
  And you know what? They're gonna learn about that
• 1:26:50
  as you become. Active on TikTok as I get back
• 1:26:53
  yes as I. As I just.
• 1:26:56
  Tweet as I. Tweet and delete as I tweet and
• 1:26:57
  delete as you do. Yeah, as you do, they be.
• 1:27:00
  Gone in the wind. Yeah.
• 1:27:03
  OK, Well, thank you for that. T Lulu.
• 1:27:04
  T Lulu. OK, well, I ask every guest that
• 1:27:06
  comes on to Lulu, what is your most delusional take?
• 1:27:10
  What's your most delulu take? Could be silly, controversial,
• 1:27:14
  serious. Yeah, I was thinking about this.
• 1:27:17
  No. Because I I saw that you asked
• 1:27:20
  that question. That's right.
• 1:27:22
  Randomly as delulu as I am and like my belief that I will live
• 1:27:27
  the life that I want to live already are already are, but I'm
• 1:27:31
  just saying I've. Never doubted that I'd get the
• 1:27:33
  things. That I want.
• 1:27:34
  Oh, good. That's what manifestation.
• 1:27:36
  That's that. Yeah, it's manifestation.
• 1:27:37
  That's that snap of the. Fingers.
• 1:27:38
  If I snap my fingers just the right way on the right day,
• 1:27:41
  everything I've ever wanted comes to me.
• 1:27:43
  Would you say you're good at manifesting?
• 1:27:44
  I am like I've. I mean.
• 1:27:46
  I did do a little. Spell with my best friend in
• 1:27:48
  college and my other best friend like and and manifested that I
• 1:27:53
  wouldn't go back to Coachella until I played next and then I
• 1:27:57
  played the next year and then you did when I was leaving
• 1:27:59
  school I was like that this would all kind of happen very
• 1:28:02
  freely and land in my lap. Yeah.
• 1:28:04
  And it did. So I feel like I'm very good at
• 1:28:06
  kind of plucking things from the universe, the universe sort of
• 1:28:11
  making a reality. Yeah, if, if.
• 1:28:13
  I'm in a good headspace. Otherwise.
• 1:28:15
  I feel like I can almost bring the storms.
• 1:28:17
  I can manifest it. All the chaos you manifested
• 1:28:20
  running away. Yeah.
• 1:28:21
  I manifested running away. But yeah, I think my more delulu
• 1:28:26
  would take. But it's not even delulu.
• 1:28:28
  Maybe it's grey or we're so interested in its own way.
• 1:28:32
  I think we need to stop holding people accountable or, or, or
• 1:28:37
  making decisions about people based on their, their takes.
• 1:28:41
  Or one night you meet somebody on their worst night and you're
• 1:28:45
  going to think they're the worst person in the world.
• 1:28:46
  I know so many people in my life that don't grant grace, even
• 1:28:51
  though I feel I've granted them grace.
• 1:28:53
  And then I, I see the way that they don't grant grace
• 1:28:55
  elsewhere. It's like, sure, there are some
• 1:28:57
  very dark sided individuals and you can often just feel that
• 1:29:00
  energy right in the room. If you're like black magic, that
• 1:29:03
  that has nothing to do with me. But a lot of people just make
• 1:29:07
  make mistakes. And I feel like people need to
• 1:29:09
  be judgments too kinder to people.
• 1:29:12
  Like now, we live in. We live, but we live in this
• 1:29:14
  world of. The cancellation.
• 1:29:16
  Some people deserve, but it's not a delulu take.
• 1:29:19
  It's more just like, hey, you guys, everybody, everybody with
• 1:29:24
  all these, we should give people more grace things.
• 1:29:26
  There's no. Grace in this world, and there
• 1:29:28
  is a lot of. Gray area, I don't think.
• 1:29:30
  I think we need to give less grace to.
• 1:29:32
  Like CEOs and men in power who then get to come back and it's
• 1:29:36
  like there is no cancellation in that specific world.
• 1:29:39
  But everywhere else, yeah, be a little nicer to each other.
• 1:29:42
  Be nicer. Just like I have friends who,
• 1:29:44
  you know, they text. You the next morning, that shame
• 1:29:46
  spiral they threw up on the wall or whatever it is.
• 1:29:49
  I'm like, girl, it's all good. It's all good.
• 1:29:52
  I was like, that was one night, please stop hitting yourself.
• 1:29:55
  I feel, I feel like that's my next.
• 1:29:59
  It's kind of a theme of this album is stop hitting yourself
• 1:30:03
  self flagellation. Like, why?
• 1:30:06
  What's what's in it for you? The theme of hurting yourself to
• 1:30:08
  heal yourself, Yeah. And I think that that was
• 1:30:10
  something I it's not the most delulu.
• 1:30:12
  Take not delulu at all. I completely agree.
• 1:30:14
  I don't know. How delulu?
• 1:30:16
  I really I'm delulu. In my in my dreams and wants and
• 1:30:19
  wishes. But I think I'm rather logical.
• 1:30:21
  I think I'm rational. I'm rational.
• 1:30:23
  Same. Yeah.
• 1:30:24
  But I also feel like I. Live delulu so it's hard.
• 1:30:26
  For me to be like, I don't know. Yeah, I'm, I'm sure I have.
• 1:30:29
  I'm sure that most of mine are kind.
• 1:30:30
  Of like bad and I don't want to share that this is the place to
• 1:30:36
  share though there. Might be two T, there might be 2
• 1:30:39
  T. OK, off camera.
• 1:30:40
  Off camera. OK.
• 1:30:42
  Well, Rin, this was such a great journey and talking about
• 1:30:45
  everything with you. Well, it's so good to see you
• 1:30:47
  again. I love you.
• 1:30:48
  It's been a long time. Oh my God, it's a full.
• 1:30:50
  Circle moment for me because like and this is so crazy like
• 1:30:53
  from 10 years ago and seeing you on stage and living the fool.
• 1:30:57
  I showed you some of my drunk iPhone notes where I talk about
• 1:31:01
  the fool I That was so cute. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
• 1:31:04
  What? Did it say it was?
• 1:31:05
  You call it? It was at 6:00 AM in 2020.
• 1:31:08
  One I make 6:00 AM I'm a Virgo guys I love my list and I made a
• 1:31:11
  list of 6:00 AM my my new my new man is a Virgo oh and we.
• 1:31:14
  Love him, we love him, we love him.
• 1:31:16
  I love Virgos. Too.
• 1:31:17
  I made a drunken listen. It's just easier for you guys.
• 1:31:20
  You think so? I do.
• 1:31:21
  I do. I feel like it's hard to
• 1:31:22
  consider if you're considered one of the benefits.
• 1:31:24
  Which is like it's. Any placement for Virgo is is a
• 1:31:28
  beneficial 1. You know what?
• 1:31:30
  That's true. I just feel like I'm so.
• 1:31:31
  Self critical, very RW 2 and I beat myself up a little bit,
• 1:31:37
  but, you know, working on that. Yeah.
• 1:31:39
  Yeah. So hopefully moving forward as I
• 1:31:42
  heal with this next coming of age album, as you grant yourself
• 1:31:46
  grace. There you go.
• 1:31:47
  That's true, not a Dulu take. Not Dulu, but I sent Rin a note
• 1:31:51
  and I wrote. It at 6:00 AM.
• 1:31:52
  And it was in my iPhone and it literally was like I'd be drunk
• 1:31:55
  right now. But these are my favorite
• 1:31:56
  albums. And I listed Revival, Selena
• 1:31:58
  Gomez, Emotion, Curly Jepsen, The Fool, Ren Weaver.
• 1:32:02
  I don't even remember the rest right now.
• 1:32:04
  Oh, Glorious by Foxes. It was cute as hell.
• 1:32:06
  Oh my God, I was like, what the fuck was I?
• 1:32:07
  I felt. Honored.
• 1:32:09
  And it didn't. And it wasn't edited because I.
• 1:32:10
  Saw it, it's like 6:00 AM. No, I have so many.
• 1:32:13
  I have because I like my lists. And I like making lists of my
• 1:32:16
  favorite albums too, but that's because I'm ADHD as hell and I
• 1:32:18
  like lists. Because I'm a Virgo there you.
• 1:32:21
  Go. But yeah, I love the pool.
• 1:32:23
  It's really nice to meet you. Yes, I did it wrong.
• 1:32:26
  No. My name is Pink and it's.
• 1:32:28
  Really. Nice to meet you.
• 1:32:29
  My name is Pink. My name is Pink and it's really
• 1:32:31
  nice to meet you. I've heard of.
• 1:32:33
  I've been recommended. To you.
• 1:32:36
  By some people. Oh, is this a little?
• 1:32:39
  Dope. OK, we're going to make a we're.
• 1:32:42
  Going to make a new trend of Odin St.
• 1:32:43
  OK, but you know what? You're a new single.
• 1:32:47
  Listen, I'm going to be so honest right now.
• 1:32:48
  I have been avoiding saying it because I cannot pronounce it
• 1:32:50
  right. Ror shark Rorschach, Rorschach,
• 1:32:54
  Rorschach baby. Rorschach.
• 1:32:56
  Rorschach, baby. Rorschach, baby Rorschach.
• 1:33:01
  Baby is for us girlies because it's the ADHD one for the girl
• 1:33:04
  and the little the girl lose the gays in the days OK slay and
• 1:33:08
  it's. Actually out.
• 1:33:10
  Right now, because you're probably listening to what this
• 1:33:12
  sucks out. Right now, we're living in the
• 1:33:14
  future. Yeah, we are welcome.
• 1:33:16
  To delulu. Hello Future.
• 1:33:18
  And that's just the next offering of this next era.
• 1:33:20
  Yeah. So, Rin, we close out every show
• 1:33:23
  by manifesting together. What do you want to manifest
• 1:33:25
  right now? What do you want to speak into
• 1:33:26
  existence? The universe is listening.
• 1:33:28
  OK, let me think. I'm manifesting.
• 1:33:35
  I don't know what I'm manifesting, right?
• 1:33:36
  I do know what I'm I'm manifesting a little.
• 1:33:39
  More feminine energy in this world and I'm manifesting some
• 1:33:45
  leadership positions shifting. I'm manifesting ending some of
• 1:33:50
  these wars that don't need to happen.
• 1:33:52
  Oh my God, I'm manifesting general joy and like the world
• 1:33:57
  feels like it's in this state of collapse and I feel like it's
• 1:34:00
  almost like Eye of Sauron energy.
• 1:34:02
  Yes. It's like I feel like we need to
• 1:34:03
  be pushing back. With manifesting.
• 1:34:05
  Just yeah, light absolutely think that's what I'm
• 1:34:08
  manifesting and then then. Of course like.
• 1:34:11
  I hope things go well for me, but I know they will of course.
• 1:34:14
  Not that worried I'm manifesting for the world.
• 1:34:16
  OK, that's my that is so beautiful and poetic I feel.
• 1:34:18
  Like an asshole mind was going to be like I manifest this
• 1:34:20
  podcast goes well. But yes, manifesting great
• 1:34:23
  things and peace for the world. I think peace for the world.
• 1:34:26
  It comes back tenfold, absolutely so I feel.
• 1:34:30
  Yeah. Just love and light, Love and
• 1:34:32
  light, Love and light. I'm manifesting that too, so.
• 1:34:35
  Love and light, I'm manifesting that for the World Peace yeah,
• 1:34:39
  no more wars podcasts doing well and of course everything's
• 1:34:42
  already going well for you so we don't even need to manifest it.
• 1:34:44
  But you know, I'll put I'll throw in a little claim I
• 1:34:46
  manifest that I oh, claim. Claim I manifest that I get a,
• 1:34:53
  get a. Hold on tik.
• 1:34:54
  T.O.K and I learned how to do it.
• 1:34:57
  You're in the right place, girl. Let's we'll.
• 1:35:00
  Get into it. I've been scared.
• 1:35:01
  No, it's going to be good. It's going to help.
• 1:35:03
  You like? Reintegrate and really be
• 1:35:05
  perceived in the way you want to be perceived?
• 1:35:08
  Hell yeah. I just haven't been able to do
• 1:35:09
  it but I can but. I can, I've just been avoidance.
• 1:35:12
  We're pop and cherries. Today, avoidance.
• 1:35:15
  You running? Away.
• 1:35:16
  No way. No, never that.
• 1:35:18
  Never, never, never that. Claiming all of that,
• 1:35:21
  manifesting all that too well. Thank you so much for being on
• 1:35:24
  the show Ring. This was such a fucking
• 1:35:26
  incredible joy, especially with you being gone for so long and
• 1:35:29
  you being such a pivotal artist in my life, in my personal
• 1:35:34
  journey and even where I am today.
• 1:35:35
  I was just on another show. I was actually talking about
• 1:35:38
  like music that was inspiring me, where I started, like coming
• 1:35:41
  into my own because I used to be really, really, really shy, but
• 1:35:43
  I always knew I wanted to perform.
• 1:35:45
  And I feel like The Fool really gave me more confidence to
• 1:35:47
  really accept things. And also, like I said, not
• 1:35:50
  settling. That's a big, big, big theme in
• 1:35:52
  my life. I don't want to settle on
• 1:35:53
  anything. It always has to be the best.
• 1:35:55
  Or if there's more, I'm going to keep seeking out more.
• 1:35:57
  And that's because of the full album and that's because of you.
• 1:36:00
  So you impacted me so much. And I know all of your fans who
• 1:36:04
  are watching this right now too, like you've impacted them so,
• 1:36:06
  so, so, so much. I'm very thankful that I was.
• 1:36:10
  Able to make something affecting that's like that's the only,
• 1:36:14
  that's the only goal. Well, thank you.
• 1:36:16
  Yeah, yeah. Thank you for having me.
• 1:36:19
  You're so fucking loved. You're so fucking loved.
• 1:36:21
  Thank. You well, thank you to all the
• 1:36:23
  Dululu besties for watching this episode of Dulu.
• 1:36:26
  This was your healthy dose of Dulu, so now you can go live.
• 1:36:28
  You're true Lulu Rin. Where can we find you at Rin?
• 1:36:34
  Weaver, R. YANWEA.
• 1:36:36
  VER across all platforms. Oh my God, that's me.
• 1:36:39
  That's R. YRYN.
• 1:36:41
  Oh my God, I'm so sorry. So you said that at RYN?
• 1:36:44
  Yes, under score. Weaver is it under score on
• 1:36:49
  Instagram? Someone like stole?
• 1:36:50
  It a while ago you're. Kidding.
• 1:36:51
  If you want it, pay me and I'm like, I'll keep the under score,
• 1:36:56
  thank you. That's crazy.
• 1:36:57
  Okay at Rin. Weaver.
• 1:36:59
  Rin under score Weaver across all platforms and then obviously
• 1:37:02
  look her up on wherever you stream your music.
• 1:37:04
  Please listen to the fool besties.
• 1:37:06
  If you love the show, you love tarot, you love everything I'm
• 1:37:08
  about. This is what this album is.
• 1:37:10
  So please stream the fool and listen to Pierre and Octahate
• 1:37:14
  and we're getting ready for the next era.
• 1:37:16
  We're also going to be streaming Odin St. and and Rorschach baby.
• 1:37:20
  Rorschach, baby. Rorschach baby hell.
• 1:37:23
  Yeah, and the next album. Well, besties.
• 1:37:25
  If you love this episode, please be sure to follow the show on
• 1:37:28
  Spotify and also hit the bell button to be notified of every
• 1:37:30
  new episode, every Dilulu Thursday and if you rate the
• 1:37:33
  show 5 stars. Rin and I will personally read
• 1:37:35
  you folklore before bed every night.
• 1:37:38
  I'm down. Hell yeah, I'll.
• 1:37:39
  Tell some stories. I'll just I'll just I'll just
• 1:37:42
  Riddle off lyrics. I kind of would want that
• 1:37:44
  actually. Can you just like go down the?
• 1:37:45
  Entire full album. Some are riddles, some lyrics.
• 1:37:48
  Fuck yeah. Oh my God.
• 1:37:49
  I would pay for that. That's cute.
• 1:37:51
  And Besties, if you want more of this podcast, please join me and
• 1:37:52
  pass this Besties community at the top of my page and you can
• 1:37:55
  contribute to hopefully next week's WWADG.
• 1:37:58
  What would a Delulu girl do? Cute.
• 1:38:00
  Yeah, and you can find me out of.
• 1:38:01
  Motions across all my. Platforms EP at MOP or Ato and S
• 1:38:04
  or the exclusive podcast account at Delulu BFF.
• 1:38:07
  Thank you guys so much for watching Stay to Lulu besties.
• 1:38:10
  Bye sexy.