Latest / Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home / Steve Garraty - Cancer, Grit, Living Fully

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Steve Garraty - Cancer, Grit, Living Fully · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder and this is my dad show.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: Hey everybody, it's Casey Jaycox with the quarterback dad cast.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: Welcome to season six, and I could not be more excited to have you join me for another year of fantastic episodes and conversations really unscripted and raw and authentic conversations with dads.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: If you're new to this podcast, really it's simple.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: It's a podcast where we interview dads, we learn about how they were raised, we learn about the life lessons that were important to them, we learn about the values that are important to them and really we learn about how we can work hard to become a better quarterback or leader of our home.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: So let's sit back, relax and listen to today's episode on the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: Well, hello everybody, it's Casey Jaycox with the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: We're in season six and I know I keep saying this, but our guests keep getting better.
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: And again, like you probably heard me say this, whenever time we get a referral specifically from this gentleman and this fine lady the one and only Jonathan Kaplan and Rachel Clav Miller when they refer a guest, I drop everything and say OK, who is this?
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: Who is this gentleman?
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: And his name's Steve Geraghty.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: I was joking before we started recording.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: Every time you see his last name.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: I want to talk in an Irish accent, so if you see me do that today I apologize.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: But he is a fantastic, talented father with a story.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: He's a Georgia Bulldog.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: He spent last 33 years in sales and sales leadership.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: He's written a very impactful book called Great Fruit how cancer led to living a more fruitful life.
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: We'll get into that.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: But, more importantly, we're not here to talk all about that.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: We're here to talk about Steve Garrity, the dad, how he's working hard to become the ultimate quarterback or leader of his households Without further ado.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: Mr Garrity, welcome to the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: Hey, casey, thanks for having me.
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: It's great to be here.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: I'm glad John and Rachel connected us.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: I'm glad too, and I don't know why I called him Jonathan, like I think he's in trouble for somebody.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: He's not.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I've never called him that, so neither did I, john.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: I apologize.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: I don't know why I did that, but I hope maybe you got a little bit of a giggle at this.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: Well, we always start out each episode with gratitude, so tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: Oh, man, that's an easy one.
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: I have two, but the first one's an easy one.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: I became a grandfather last Thursday I think we talked prior to that, casey and so, yeah, I've got a grandson and I'm up here visiting him.
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: They live about seven hours away, they live in Atlanta and so, yeah, we're up just soaking in every minute we can get with him right now.
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: But, yeah, his name is Philip James and he was born last Thursday.
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: My daughter and her husband had their first child, so, yeah, I couldn't be more thankful and grateful for that.
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: And then I guess my second is because I know you start every show like this the second is my I guess my kids' choice in spouses.
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: My son just got engaged and we love his fiance.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: We've gotten a chance to meet her family.
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: And then my daughter got married early this year and we've gotten a chance to get to know his family really well.
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: But his name's Christian and my son's fiance is Claire and I'm very thankful for both of them and glad they're going to be part of our families for the rest of our lives so cool.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: What a gift.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and I remember we talked what yeah a week ago and you said, hey, there's a chance we might need to pause this podcast because you might be uh, you might be getting scrubbed up and right in the room and helping.
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: I'm not talking about that, but what a gift right after that.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: So yeah, last Thursday, last Thursday he.
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: But what a gift right after that.
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: So yeah, last thursday.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: Last thursday he was born and, yeah, we couldn't be more thrilled wow, so cool.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: Um, well, what I'm most grateful for today is, um, a couple things.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: One I was complaining to you about stupid tennis elbow I have, but you know what?
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: I'm still keeping the body moving.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: I know it's just a, a blip on the radar that'll eventually go away.
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: But when we get older, I don't know about you, man, but I, these annoying little injuries get really taxing and I try to like just, but I got up, kept moving the body a little bit, took the dog for, you know, a walk.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: She didn't hear that.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: She didn't come back in here, um, so I'm grateful for that.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: But I'm also grateful for, uh, I, I love seeing when, when, just like in the wide world of like coaching, when you can make someone, you can make something, someone else's idea because they have belief in it.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: When you have belief in it, and I just I'm very grateful that my kids both have a very, very strong work ethic.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: And there's a stoicism quote about, you know, falling in love with the process of, you know, not always seeing the end game of what the result might be, but just falling in love with the process of um, you know, not always seeing the end end game of what the result might be, but just falling in love with the process of working your ass off and um, like every day.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: When my daughter committed to where she can play basketball in college, she's the college coach talked about, hey, that we make 500 shots a week.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: Um, so now riley is already making 500 shot, 500 shots a week, and her she's in ops.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: She's about to start fall ball for her senior in high school and my son's the same thing.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: He lives at the golf course, just loves it, and I'm just grateful.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: They have found their passion and um, hard work and they know it's gonna be.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: This is.
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: These skills you're building now are gonna take you through life and whether it's in sales or you're a bus driver or you, you know, barista at Starbucks, you still got to work.
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: You got to fall in love with whatever you're doing.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: So I'm grateful if they have.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: I feel like they're really embracing that mindset.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: That's awesome.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: Okay, well, you teased us, grandpa, with a little bit of family news there, but bring us inside the Garrity Huddle, talk a little bit about each member of the squad, the inner squad, and then tell us how you and your wife met.
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so I'll start with my wife.
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: She and I just hit our 30-year anniversary.
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: Last year we made a decision to renew our vows.
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: We live in Tampa, florida now Moved down there 25 years ago.
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: So we went back to we live in Tampa, florida now moved down there 25 years ago, but we got married in Atlanta.
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: So we went back to the church that we got married in, we renewed our vows and then did like a little honeymoon to celebrate our 30 year anniversary.
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: We have two kids that I mentioned my daughter.
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: Her name is Grayson.
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: She is now 27 years old 28, I'm sorry and, as I mentioned, got married early this year, just had our grandson.
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: And then my son is Jack and he lives closer to us.
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: He lives in St Petersburg and just got engaged about two months ago.
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: So a lot going on this year.
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: It's been pretty busy, but that's that's my immediate family.
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: My wife's mother moved down to Tampa when she figured out we weren't moving back to Atlanta.
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: She moved down and she's close to us.
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: She basically lives in a mother-in-law suite behind us.
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: So that's kind of the immediate family.
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: I met my wife shortly after college.
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: We both went to Georgia.
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: We found out on our first date that we had spoken on the phone.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: We were both social chairman of our respective sorority and fraternities and had spoken on the phone but never met.
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: And but we met in Atlanta through a mutual friend and on our first date kind of put two and two together that we had spoken on the phone about three years prior but just started dating, dated, you know, kind of hit it off pretty quick and got married in 1994.
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: And, like I said, celebrated 30 years last year.
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: Wow, Congrats.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: Thank you Exciting.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: This is going to get into the meat of what we're having.
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: I'm excited we're going to talk to Steve today.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: So take me back to what was life like growing up.
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: I know, but I want to help everybody else learn about this.
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: But take me back to what was life like growing up for you and talk about the impact that mom and dad had on you, now that you can reflect as a dad and a grandpa.
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, sure.
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: So my parents are both still here, they're both still married to each other and we basically grew up, started off.
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: My dad was kind of I would call him, you know, lower income kind of getting started and I remember as a young child, you know, we didn't have much money and things were tight and then we made a move.
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: So each time we made a move it was for a career opportunity for him.
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: So I started in Chicago and then we moved to Connecticut when I was eight and he'd gotten a job offer there and I would say that kind of moved them up a little bit from a financial perspective.
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: We were probably more lower middle income then and really enjoyed a few years in Connecticut.
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: Then we moved to the southeast when I was 12 and moved to Atlanta and again that was for a job opportunity.
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: And then, you know, I think my dad's career really started to take off in Atlanta.
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: My mom was a state.
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: She decided to stay at home once she had I'm the oldest of three and so she decided to stay home.
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: But she has been an artist and so she was always doing pottery, painting, she taught kids in the neighborhood art classes and she made some side money doing that.
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: It was a side hustle.
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: I don't think we called them side hustles back then, but she did that.
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: So a lot of the neighborhood kids would come over.
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: We had two kilns in the house to cook the pottery and my dad was my dad was an electrical engineer and just kind of moved up through leadership roles and then we were in Atlanta basically through middle school for me and high school and then went off to college.
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: So Atlanta was home until I moved to Tampa.
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: But life was good.
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: I'd say we had a normal family, nothing unusual.
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: My dad worked hard and kind of climbed the corporate ladder, always worked for large companies, and then my mom I think we were fortunate that she was able to stay home with us and was definitely the caregiver.
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: So that's kind of what life was like.
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: And then I started going a little bit sideways in high school and I know that's what you were alluding to.
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: I'm happy to jump into that.
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: But I would say growing up, casey, life was, you know, life was pretty normal Dad, dad climbing the corporate ladder and my mom raising three kids and and an artist on outside of that.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: How, how hard was moving for you?
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: It was very, very difficult.
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: You know, I'd say the second move when I was eight.
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: I had a lot of close friends hadn't lived anywhere else.
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: That was a little bit difficult.
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: But when I moved when I was 12, basically in Atlanta at the time you went from lower school to high school and so, even though I called it middle school, you basically were in elementary up through seventh grade and then you started high school in eighth grade and so I started we moved the summer after sixth grade, and so I had one year basically being the oldest kid in elementary school in seventh grade and then I went off to high school and so, yeah, it was a huge transition.
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: Plus, you know, we were quote unquote Yankees moving down to the southeast and I went to high school in a very country, rural.
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: Today it's funny because it's now considered part of Atlanta, but back then it was considered the boonies out in the woods, if I can use the word, redneck that was probably the best way to describe it and so all that was.
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: It was a huge transition and probably a little rough for a year or two.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: Dad's starting to have success, mom's staying at home holding the fort down, keeping the kids doing their best.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: We're starting to move, which I think that makes sense of some of the challenges you're going to talk about Before we dive into that, as you reflect what were the core values that mom and dad did their best to try to just instill in you and your siblings.
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know you mentioned you were thankful for your kid's work ethic that's probably the first word that comes to mind with my dad, like he always worked really hard and like his career was, you know, was important.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: And I think he he put a lot of time and effort into that.
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: And then, on top of that, you know, he always took care of stuff at the house, made sure to create memories for us.
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: So I have a lot of memories of my parents were big into camping and so we used to camp in a tent for the longest time and then eventually, you know, like I said, as his career was growing, we ended up getting a camper.
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: I remember when I was six or seven we took a camp.
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: We drove from Chicago down to Orlando, went to Disney World and went to the campground there for a week and I thought, you know, I thought I was in heaven when we did that.
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: So, yeah, I'd say work ethic for my dad and, and then I'd say both my parents, creating memories for us was important.
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: And I would say the third, which probably impacted my career choice they are extremely social.
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: They just moved into a nursing home and they are loving it, just because, you know now they they're meeting friends, meeting people every single day.
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: They're having, you know, there's a cafeteria, there's a library, there's classes and activities, and so they're they're in heaven right now, just just really spending time socially.
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: And so I always saw from my parents that it was important to their friendships and each time we move, starting over, they were always great at meeting folks through church, through the neighborhood, through school and building friendships and they've always had really close friends, close circles of friends, and they've also done really close friends, close circles of friends, and they've also done a really good job of keeping up with those people even when we move.
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: I mean they're best friends longer than I've been alive, started in Chicago and my dad and this guy worked together and they ended up becoming close and you know our families took trips together but I'd say friendships.
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: My parents really put a lot into that.
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: It's always been important and I think that that was something that was instilled upon me that I carry forward.
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: When did things start going off the rails for you?
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: You know you asked, you asked about moving and whether that was hard.
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: Probably haven't thought about it a lot this way, but you know that might have led to some behavioral issues.
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: I will say, like the summer after and this always scares the crap out of me when I think about, you know, having two kids and when they were in their teens.
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: But the summer after sixth grade I ended up getting stoned one night and drunk the next and my friend in Connecticut I'd gone back up to visit him and he had an older sister right, it's usually the older siblings that get you into trouble and she and her boyfriend took us to, they had a beach place and the first night we're there, and you know, the first night we're there, they they pull out marijuana and then the second night they went and bought beer for us, and so that was the first time that I did either of those.
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: And and then you know we had just moved to Atlanta and and I probably started, you know, maybe it was a desire to be popular and to fit in and some of that transition and struggle from moving, like I said, from the Northeast down to the South and kind of going to high school in a totally different culture than what I was accustomed to.
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: But I started partying and started you know, that social aspect was really important to me and started experimenting with some of that my freshman sophomore year.
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: But my junior and senior year, you know, I would describe it as kind of going off the rails and I think you've probably read about about that a little bit in my book.
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: But yeah, it caused a lot of friction with my, my parents, I think.
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: My siblings were, unfortunately, my brother and sister were unfortunately impacted by that.
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: But yeah, I mean, it got to the point where I was, you know, trying to drink harder and harder liquor.
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: You know I was partying every weekend.
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: That eventually led to drinking before school quite a bit.
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: So, yeah, just a lot of poor choices and it just continued to.
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: If you've seen Breaking Bad and you saw how Walter White's character kind of spirals down, when I look back at high school, that was, I was in a spiral, I think, and it just kept getting worse and worse until I got a wake up call.
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: But yeah, that's, I think that's what led to it and I just I love the parties, I love the social scene.
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: We didn't call it FOMO back then, but if I missed a party I had FOMO.
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: I wanted to be part of every social aspect of high school and took things to an extreme.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: When this started happening.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: I want to encourage people to go pick up Grapefruit, which we'll talk about later in our conversation, which really talks about openly these struggles that you faced head on.
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: You really didn't have a choice to face head on Were your siblings?
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: Did they see these trends and were they concerned?
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: No, Um, so they were both younger.
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: Um, they definitely saw the trends, they definitely saw what I was doing.
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: Um, they were.
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: We all had very different personalities.
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: So you know it's funny, I went into sales, sales leadership.
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: Um.
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: My sister, uh, went to med school.
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: She's a doctor now.
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: She was the smart one.
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: And then, um, my brother did a little bit of school but he ended up starting his own business and um business and owns his own company, and so we couldn't be more different.
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: Personality wise, and careers, I think, are a testament to that.
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: But yeah, they were very aware we're separated by two years each, and so they were, you know they were.
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: They were basically in starting high school, when I was kind of in the thick of my worst moments.
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: They saw all that, I would say I probably leaned on my sister to protect me, a lot, meaning like if I knew, you know, like I would call her and ask where my parents were, if they knew I was in trouble or if they had heard.
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: And so, yeah, they were.
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: They were not clueless by any stretch of the imagination.
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: You know they didn't talk a lot about how they were impacted, but I know that I took a lot of attention, negative attention from my parents that probably robbed them of some of the attention they should have been given.
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: I think my parents were dealing with me a lot, both with my troubles and then when I got sick, and so but yeah, looking back on it, I know that my selfishness and poor decisions had a huge impact on both of them.
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: Take us to take us to July 4th.
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: So I graduated high school.
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: Like I said I was.
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: I wrecked my parents cars five times in high school, all under the influence of something, and so things continued to spiral down and I had, towards the end of my senior year I had this started with what was a weird sensation in my neck.
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: When I would drink alcohol I could feel it tingling, but there was nothing visible.
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: That eventually started to protrude outward and you could see there was something amiss on my neck and the one side started.
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: There was a mass basically growing within my neck and I kept partying, kept ignoring it.
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: I graduated high school.
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: I was working during the day and I was going out every night and when I say every night, it was seven nights a week.
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: I was going out at a party or drinking with friends and my parents, I think, were tired of me.
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: They were ready for me to go off to college.
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: I avoided them and so they didn't really kind of see this mask growing and a friend's mom who was a nurse basically saw it kind of freaked out and she was like you need to go get that checked out and if you don't tell your mother, I'm going to tell her.
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: So I went home told my parents.
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: They looked at it, they got concerned.
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: We ended up going to a walk-in clinic.
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: This was all probably in the June time frame, right after graduating high school, and the walk-in clinic had no idea, but they were concerned.
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: Graduating high school and the walk-in clinic had no idea, but they were concerned.
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: That was very clear.
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: They sent us to an ear, nose and throat doctor.
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: They were concerned and said we need to schedule a biopsy, figure out what's going on.
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: And so we did that within a few days.
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: It was all pretty rushed, which also was kind of telling that something was not good, and I wasn't that worried Again.
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: I was 18.
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: I was more concerned that it would interfere with any given night's party and so I went on July 3rd.
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: We had the biopsy scheduled and they took out a mass the size of a grapefruit which led to the name of my book.
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: But they took out that mass and called on the morning of July 4th, so obviously my dad was home from work.
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: We were all kind of waiting patiently there were no cell phones back then, so we're waiting for that wall phone to ring and jumped on that call and the surgeon said you have cancer and you need to go in and get tests to find out how much it's spread.
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: So over the next week that was kind of the course of action I did CT scans and x-rays and they found it in my neck, chest and stomach, which made it stage three.
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: And I had read enough to know that that meant chemotherapy.
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: So stage one or stage two would more likely be radiation and also, from what I read, I was kind of hoping it would be radiation, because chemotherapy is, I mean, neither are good, but chemotherapy is more rough on the body.
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: And so stage three was like another blow.
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: And then of course, the oncologist said we're going to treat you with chemotherapy.
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: So that began the worst year of my life and a year of hell.
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: And I was put on a biweekly.
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: Every two weeks I would go in and get basically they would hook me up to a bag of drugs and the chemo would slowly drip into my veins and then usually I was puking my guts out before that finished and for about another 12 hours.
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: So but that's what happened on July 4th.
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: That changed my life and I like to say it started a second life for me, because that first life was, was had to be put on hold and really, really kind of killed that first life and a new life began on July 4th 1986.
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: Wow, began on July 4th 1986.
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: Wow, so we have.
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: We have the, the.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: The phone call no one wants to get and the words no one wants to hear.
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: Um, partying is now put on hold.
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: There was a little denial Again.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: I want, I want, I don't want to tell the full story, because I want people to go out and get the book and hear and learn from you.
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: Uh, cause, it's powerful, it's very, very powerful.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: How long did this journey of cancer last?
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: About 10 months.
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: Well, the actual like treatments lasted about 10 months.
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: Nine and a half 10 months.
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, about nine, 10 months, and obviously there was the residual effects lasted longer.
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: But yeah, the chemo itself went about nine and a half 10 months.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: And bill of health.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: Did you eventually get that?
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll never forget that doctor's appointment we had.
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: I went in not because you don't with cancer you usually don't know when the end is.
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: You just kind of keep going until they, the tests, reveal they got it all.
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: And so we went in for what I thought was going to be another round of chemo and I had done some x-rays and CT scans and so I knew we were going to get like an update from those.
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: But they did those.
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: I don't know every six to eight weeks we would do those.
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: And so we went in to see the oncologist.
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: I was expecting chemo.
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: He walked in.
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: He was like I've got great news for you, we've gotten it all, you're finished.
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: And I was almost in disbelief, but I was very grateful.
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: You start every call with what are we grateful for?
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: If I had to pick one highlight of my life that I've been grateful for, certainly my kids, my wife.
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: But that day, being told I was cancer free, it's hard to hard to beat that.
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, it almost brought me to tears.
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: Tell me the story right there.
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean nothing else.
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: Nothing else happens, right if I don't beat the cancer.
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: So I wouldn't have met my wife if I had not gotten cancer.
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: I was actually supposed to go to another college and probably would have failed out or, you know, ended up killing myself or somebody else unintentionally with the path I was headed down.
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: But yeah, the gratitude and blessing that I felt when he said you're cancer free was unbelievable.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: Hi, this is Kathy Orton.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: I'm the director of talent management at CoWorks Staffing Services.
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: Coworks is one of the largest staffing firms in the United States, with operations in all 50 states, over 60,000 temporary field talent.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: We are devoted to the success and growth of our employees and our clients.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: We are celebrating our 50th anniversary this year and are proud to have a legacy of treating people the right way, doing the right thing, supporting our communities and putting field talent first.
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: Our team places candidates in administrative light, industrial, call center, distribution, third-party logistic positions with additional opportunities through our executive search, creative staffing and luxury, beauty and fragrance divisions.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: We had the pleasure of having Casey Jaycox deliver a keynote presentation and training workshop to our sales team this year and I have to tell you it was exceptional.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: Casey is funny, he is engaging and he is approachable.
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: What sets Casey apart is that he really walks the walk.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: He lives what he teaches.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: He spent time with us outside of the workshop, really taking the time to get to know our people.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: He shared information about his personal life, about his family, creating the foundation for authentic relationships, one of the core elements of the strategy he teaches.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: Casey left our teams feeling motivated, energized and armed with the actionable tools to transform their sales performance.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: I cannot recommend Casey enough to any or any organization looking to grow and unlock their full potential.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: If you want to learn more about Cowork Staffing, please visit our website at CoworkStaffingcom.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: Now let's get back to the podcast.
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: How has, how has this journey?
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: Um, cause it's almost like when I met you and I'm still talking to you and I've heard you on another podcast and I read, read in the book it's it's almost two different guys and to be able to to write about it and talk about it now, how, how hard, how hard is that?
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: As you reflect, sometimes like that guy was not me, but it was me.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: Is this ever like?
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: Sometimes like because you do such a good job of articulating it both verbally and written.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: But as you reflect back now as obviously a much more mature father, now grandfather, like, does it ever like?
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: Stop your tracks.
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: Like what does that?
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: Was that really me?
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess I have mixed feelings on that.
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: What's interesting about the journey is when I was going through chemo.
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: There were a lot of things that were very painful about going through chemo, but for me the mental aspect and the social aspect were probably the hardest too chemo.
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: But for me the mental aspect and the social aspect were probably the hardest too.
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: So what I mean by that is when I was diagnosed you know I was I had friends that we would go out drinking every night.
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: They were drinking buddies and they all.
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: They also were all scheduled.
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: Most of them were going off to college in the fall, and so they all did that and a lot of them like at 18, who wants to hang out with somebody who's got cancer Right?
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: And so my social life quickly shrunk and there were a couple of guys that ended up kind of being heroes of my my journey and heroes of my story.
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: But my social life shrunk and then it was pretty.
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: You know, my girlfriend and I quickly broke up, and so it was.
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: It was a very, very lonely year, and so where I'm going with that is my parents had encouraged me strongly to start a journal, and so I wrote in this journal as I'm going through chemo and it was therapeutic for me and I filled up I don't know a notebook and a half just of my thoughts, feelings, what I was experiencing, and that became the genesis of what's now my book.
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: And that became the genesis of what's now my book.
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: And so to your question.
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: I went off to college and I didn't think about cancer much.
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: I thought about it but I never talked about it.
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: I didn't share it.
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: I have people now reaching out that they've heard about my book.
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: They're like I hung out with you for four years in college and had no clue and so.
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: But then, I guess, when I got into my twenties and started to mature a little bit, I picked that journal back up and I took some writing courses and I was like I want to turn this, you know, I want to kind of document this and make it a better story.
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: And then, when I had two children, it became I want to leave this story to my, to my kids.
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: And then eventually I felt like I've got a pretty good story that can impact not only cancer patients but anybody who's been through grief or divorce or job loss, any of the big life hurdles that get thrown our way.
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: So, to answer your question, it's been a long journey of being able to talk about it, share it, and once I started telling people I was writing a book, I was very open about it.
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: But it didn't happen overnight, it happened over a long period of time and I feel blessed that it took me so long to write the book because life kept getting in the way.
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: Right, I had kids, I'm in sales, I travel a lot, so I would pick it up, I would write a little bit and then I may not touch it for three, four years.
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: But the benefit of that is the first half of the book is really my journal and it's kind of what happened and how it happened and why it happened.
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: But the second half of the book is how it ended up impacting the rest of my life, how it impacted being a father, how it impacted being a husband, a business leader, and so I'm kind of glad that it took me 37 years.
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: I joke that it took me 37 years to write it, but I'm glad it did because it's a perspective of what happened then and what you were just describing reading about where I'm very vulnerable and like that's all basically my journal.
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: That was cleaned up and but the second half of the book is that impact it had on my life.
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, man, you use one of my favorite words right there, steve be vulnerable.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: The three words I'd say.
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: Values that drive me in my life are being vulnerable, humble and curious.
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: I think those create amazing cultures, not only as fathers but in business.
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: I think when people are vulnerable, it removes fear, drops egos, allows people to share like how we're not.
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: That's why I, like in the work I do, I love telling people where I suck, and still suck In the book I wrote I talk about.
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: It wasn't a book, but hey, let me tell you how great I was in business.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: It was like, let me tell you where I sucked and struggled.
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: I'm sure I had some good years, but I think people I find I connect more, people who are just real and authentic and honest and like there's no facade, and I think you are a testament to that real and authentic and honest and like there's no facade.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: And I think you are a testament to that and I know I know deep down in my heart, this, this, your story, is going to continue to impact many people and it's no surprise why you've had such a successful run in sales and sales leadership at some very, very big brands such as, you know, oracle and workday and currently now salesforce.
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: You know raising kids and this journey you, you, you are, have been on.
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: Tell me when, did when?
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: Do you remember telling your son and daughter dad was kind of a little bit of a hell's angel back in the day, a little bit of a wild child.
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, um, I would make comments about.
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: You know that I was, um, not a great kid and my brother and sister were, and obviously that's their, their aunt and uncle and they know them well, and so I'm like you know, I would jokingly say, you want to be like uncle David and aunt Jennifer and um, and and so they would hear those comments.
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: I don't think they ever knew what that meant.
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: Um, my sister and I uh, she'll probably listen to this and laugh when I say this, but we got into a fight one time because she, she, my kids were up spending the summer at my parents or spending a month up at their lake house, and my sister was up there and I was not.
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: She was like let me tell you some stories about your dad, and so I didn't appreciate that.
• 32:45
  Speaker 3: So there was, there was a point that I would that I would share with them, but I didn't go deep.
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: I mean, I didn't want to encourage them or put thoughts in their head as they were getting closer to their teen years, but they learned more over time.
• 33:02
  Speaker 3: But when they read my book, they were both like okay, we knew you were bad, we didn't know you were that bad, and so, yeah, it's been that also.
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: I guess has been a gradual process of exposing them to kind of the type of kid that I was or the type of teenager that I was.
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: How much fear was in your mind as a father knowing that.
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: Oh, I mean, I guess for me I'm going to leave my witness.
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: If it was me, I'd be like oh my God, please don't, please, don't be me, please don't be me, please don't be me.
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: Like was that?
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: Did that ever go through your head?
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: From a from a.
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: Well, yes, it did I mean the good.
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: the good side, sure, but like I don't, I don't want to give it away, cause I want people to go read your book but like the decisions you were making, as I'm reading through this, I'm like this dude's next level.
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean you, at full throttle.
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I was going to say I didn't know you.
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: Yes, I was very worried that they would go down that path.
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: Neither of them did.
• 33:59
  Speaker 3: I mean, they both had their.
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: You know, like most teenagers, they both did dumb things and would get in trouble at times, but more normal kid stuff, I would you know.
• 34:10
  Speaker 3: It sounds like you probably agree if you read my story, like I was above average on getting into trouble.
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: You were elite to use John Kaplan's word.
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and so, yeah, I was worried about that.
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: And then I was also worried that they would get cancer.
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: I you know, I was just my son had a couple of times a scare like he had a swollen lymph node one time and mine started in my neck.
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: He had a swollen lymph node in his, in his neck and I, just my mind went to a dark place.
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: So, yeah, I was always worried, one, they would get in trouble and two, that they would get sick.
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: And yeah, those were probably my two biggest fears as they ended their teens.
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: How, much of your journey.
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: Tell me how has it biggest fears as they ended their teens?
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: How much of your journey.
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: Tell me, how has it impacted you as a dad, from a mindset perspective, so many ways.
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: You know there's not a day that goes by, really, that I don't think about my experience with cancer, and there's not a day that goes by of the drugs you're not going to be able to have kids, and when I was 18, I didn't care, but obviously my parents knew that I would care and they were concerned.
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: So I feel like every day is a blessing with my kids.
• 35:32
  Speaker 3: It's just and so now to hold my grandson up here and look at my daughter, who's married and has a kid of her own, I mean, I think about it all the time.
• 35:41
  Speaker 3: So I'd say how it impacted me.
• 35:43
  Speaker 3: One would be gratitude, just being grateful for every minute I get with them and trying to create memories, like my parents did for us as an example of that.
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: I know you played college ball.
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: I'm a diehard Georgia Bulldog fan and I my son, even though we graduated from Florida.
• 36:00
  Speaker 3: I raised him as a Georgia fan and so when he was 10, nine or 10, we started a annual father-son trip where we pick a Georgia away game and then we go to that city watch Georgia play and then we do an NFL game, so we've been to a lot of cool places, yeah, and so we've done that for a long time.
• 36:20
  Speaker 3: But trying to create memories, and then I'd say that the gratitude and I try to instill that on my kids too to be thankful, to be grateful, to express that to people.
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: And then the other thing the oncologist said was prior to 1970, and this was in 86, keep in mind.
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: So 16 years ago there was no cure for this, like I would be telling you to get your things in order, say your goodbyes, and now you've got an 85% chance.
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: Based on your stage three and based on the chemo and where it's come to over the last 16 years, you've got an 80, 85% chance that you're going to beat this.
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: And so, yeah, I mean just the gratitude is probably the biggest thing, casey, being grateful for my kids, being grateful for each day that I have had on this planet since I was diagnosed and then declared cancer-free, so I'd say that's probably the biggest one.
• 37:17
  Speaker 3: It also made me that experience made me empathetic.
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: I'm just going to say that word.
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: You took it out of.
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: You read my mind.
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: And so, yeah, empathy is definitely a theme for me in my life and I think it has served me well in sales.
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: I think it has served me well as a parent.
• 37:35
  Speaker 3: Tell me how.
• 37:37
  Speaker 3: What's that?
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: Tell me how as a parent.
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: Or a parent and a sales leader.
• 37:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, as a sales leader, you know, I think, for one, all of us go through stuff, right, like all of us have things, like there's people you interact with on a daily basis that have gone through or going through things that you'll never know or you know you may not know.
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: And so I think when I went through that, that really was instilled upon me that, like we all go through life you know I'm not unique we all, we all go through stuff.
• 38:10
  Speaker 3: It may be different, it may have a different face for you than for me, but we all, we all go through moments or events that change us.
• 38:18
  Speaker 3: And and so for me, I think it that realization and going through that one and then two, all the people, like my parents did a 180, right, like my parents threatened to send me to military school a number of times.
• 38:31
  Speaker 3: My parents, like I just can't imagine what I put them through.
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: And the day I was told you have cancer like they, they, you know I don't want to say they flipped a switch, but they did what you would do for your kids, right, like they were, they went above and beyond.
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: My siblings were the same way and I had some friends who do, friends who did that.
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: And then there was a nurse at the doctor's office who I never knew before, who ended up being more of a friend and then really an angel, and so I think all of that made me empathetic, that you know we're all going through something, and so I always try to put myself in somebody else's shoes, as an example, as a sales leader.
• 39:12
  Speaker 3: If somebody's struggling, like I try to identify why it could be.
• 39:16
  Speaker 3: Could be they have cancer, it could be they're experiencing a divorce or something.
• 39:20
  Speaker 3: There could be a reason for that.
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: And so I think just being able to put yourself in somebody else's shoes, at least to the best that you can, allows you to kind of empathize and understand what somebody else is going through.
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, that's good, I was going to ask you.
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: You articulated it well.
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: So you leave Georgia, where we've got obviously the cancers in your thought will obviously be there, but health wise, you beat it, which is fantastic.
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: When did when did you realize sales was for you and sales leadership was for you?
• 39:57
  Speaker 3: You know, my parents, you use you've used the word with me curiosity a lot.
• 40:01
  Speaker 3: My parents I'll never forget this we were at.
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: We were at Epcot.
• 40:05
  Speaker 3: You were mentioning Epcot before we started recording.
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: We were down there on a trip.
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: I was about 12 and my parents said you should write a book called 100 Questions.
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: That you know.
• 40:17
  Speaker 3: Basically, like I would always ask questions and I think great salespeople ask a lot of questions, they also have empathy and somebody ended up did writing that book.
• 40:26
  Speaker 3: So I should have written it when I was in high school.
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: But yeah, you know, I would say, in college, casey, I started selling magazines over the phone for a company called Dial America and people would come in there and do that for a night.
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: This is back in the day, right?
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: No cell phone.
• 40:43
  Speaker 3: So you're calling people at home in the evening.
• 40:45
  Speaker 3: They're cursing at you, they're hanging up on you, and the model was if you got one yes per hour, you made good money, right.
• 40:53
  Speaker 3: And so back in the in, when I was in college in the late eighties, I was making $13 an hour, which you know.
• 40:59
  Speaker 3: Most people were busing tables or waiting tables for $3.50 an hour or whatever minimum wage was back then, and so I knew I was pretty good at it and I could take the rejection, was pretty good at it and I could take the rejection.
• 41:13
  Speaker 3: I deal with rejection a lot in sales, like I always compare it to my best.
• 41:22
  Speaker 3: My worst day today never compares to my best day going through chemotherapy.
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: So for me, like people hanging the phone up on me, I've been through a lot worse, like what else you got.
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: So that probably is when I started to realize I had a knack for sales.
• 41:32
  Speaker 3: I was a finance major so I was just thinking banking was the logical next step and I tried that and after about 18 months I was like I got to get out of this.
• 41:41
  Speaker 3: So, um, I ended up jumping into sales, uh, with a company called paychecks and it was a good mix of, uh, finance it was, you know, payroll and benefits, mixed with sales, and I kind of found my calling in that.
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: But I would say it was selling magazines over the phone is when it was.
• 41:59
  Speaker 3: I can do this Like this is this is not hard.
• 42:02
  Speaker 3: It is hard, but at the time I was pretty good at it.
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: I hope there's a younger dad listening and that he's like what Selling without a cell phone?
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, everybody.
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: And when I started started my first job, that they there wasn't even the internet back there.
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: Literally they would.
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: I literally email.
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: Actually went to college we had the system called pine.
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: If you remember that.
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: It was like a college dos based system and I remember like my wife went to um university of washington.
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: I went to central washington, which is the harbor of the west coast many people don't know that and I we'd logged onto the system and you'd be able to say like hi, return, return.
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: And we're like we thought we were this, you know, and so there's that.
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: But then there's just like a wall phone.
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: I knew what a wall phone was a long ass cord, like 30 footer.
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you could take wrap around, but like what, uh, um, for for people, if you're, if you're a salesperson, listen this one, and you're scared to pick up the phone.
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: Man, listen to listen to my boy steve just selling all types of magazines at night.
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: Grittiness, um, have you ever?
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: Have you ever like I one thought as you know, you're saying your story that this question keeps coming back to me is I mean your parents for what they went through, that journey, that stress, it screams divorce rates, but they made it through it, which is hallelujah.
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: Have you ever talked to them like, hey mom, how'd you do it?
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: Hallelujah, you know.
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: Have you ever?
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: talked to them like, hey, mom, how'd you stay, how'd you do it?
• 43:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they um.
• 43:39
  Speaker 3: So before I got sick, casey, we, they had me in therapy just because of all my behavioral issues and, um, once I was sick, they, they started doing therapy as well.
• 43:45
  Speaker 3: They actually they actually shared with me, uh, and I don't remember I was maybe in my twenties, maybe even th 30s, but they shared with me that they came very close to getting divorced.
• 43:55
  Speaker 3: They, you know, I had this oncologist who was one of the best in the country, but he required payment when you came in, Like you couldn't.
• 44:03
  Speaker 3: My dad had good insurance but he couldn't get reimbursed, so my dad had to come up with cash every two weeks for the treatments and the appointments, and so there was a lot of financial stress, I think, on my dad.
• 44:16
  Speaker 3: There was obviously a lot of stress on both of them.
• 44:19
  Speaker 3: I had an 85% chance, which was good, but I certainly with my kids, if somebody said they have something and there's a 15% chance they won't make it, that would scare me.
• 44:31
  Speaker 3: There's a 15% chance they won't make it, that would that would scare me.
• 44:34
  Speaker 3: Um, but yeah, just all the, the all that I went through, um, it was, it was tough on them and so they did share that.
• 44:39
  Speaker 3: They came very close to getting divorced.
• 44:41
  Speaker 3: They talked, talked about it and um, I think it ended up making them stronger.
• 44:46
  Speaker 3: I'm glad they didn't, but I think it was.
• 44:48
  Speaker 3: You know it was therapy and um eventually ended up pulling them together.
• 44:52
  Speaker 3: But yeah, you're right, if you read statistics you know grief is a another example parents that lose a kid.
• 44:58
  Speaker 3: I think it's it's extremely high divorce rate.
• 45:01
  Speaker 3: It's it's tough to make it through.
• 45:02
  Speaker 3: You know things like that in your life.
• 45:05
  Speaker 3: How young are mom and dad?
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: How, uh, they're 80, 83 and 84.
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, my pops.
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: He passed away, uh, december 29th 2021.
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: He would have been, uh, he just was, shy, 80, but um, he wouldn't, I wouldn't say, you know, nursing home I was, he was in assisted living for shoot, 15 years.
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: Uh, I should send you, um, I should.
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: I did a only solo episode I've ever done was when my dad passed away.
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: I just had right and I got back from from you know, the hospital.
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: I had this like urge I go, I go right and I wrote this little monologue.
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: I call it the final whistle, kind of like a football analogy of like coach.
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: So I said, play to the whistle, run to the whistle.
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: And I was with my dad in his last breath and I came home and I wrote this thing and I was like I'm going to, I'm going to read it and just, and it was like one of my most.
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: I don't, I don't, I should do this more as a business guy, but I don't track a lot of stats in this podcast, steve.
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: I don't track a lot, I just love doing it.
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: I love talking to people, I love getting stories out there and and how I measure success.
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: This thing is impact.
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: If I get one person saying, man, that was a blast, thanks, let me do it, it's worth it.
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: If I get someone that sends me a note, oh man, I'm so glad I did this, that was worth it.
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: I'm not trying to be fricking Ricky Lake or, you know, phil Donahue, it just you know, it's just fun to talk to people.
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: Now again, I probably should have a different mindset, but at almost 50 years old, I just enjoy sharing, giving a platform for you to share your story and bless the world.
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: And so thanks again for coming on today.
• 46:47
  Speaker 3: My story really.
• 46:48
  Speaker 3: I think the impact I'm trying to make is that there's an opportunity, regardless of what your listeners have been through we all go through stuff.
• 47:00
  Speaker 3: There's an opportunity to grow and transform and it took me a while but I think through my experience with cancer, eventually I was able to kind of look back and say how can I, how can I take positives out of it and impact my life in a positive way?
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: How can I take positives out of it and impact my life in a positive way?
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: No, I know you're going to do that for sure and I'm grateful John and Rachel introduced us because you know you've already introduced me to a couple of people that want to connect with on Facebook, on LinkedIn, and one I already read his book, white Fang, on LinkedIn.
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: And one I already read his book, white Fang.
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: If you're a football guy, a golf guy, business guy, father son guy, go read White Fang and the Golden Bear it is.
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: I read it in four days and, unfortunately, if you didn't tell me to read that, I would have powered through your book, but that was a finish to that one.
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: So now I'm on page almost 50 of Steve's book, but I know the story because I've heard him on a podcast.
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: But I'm still going to read it and I hope everybody else goes and reads it.
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: So we've talked about this book.
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: Tell us the title, which I've kind of teased a couple of times.
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: But how can people go find it?
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: How?
• 48:04
  Speaker 3: can they?
• 48:04
  Speaker 3: How can they learn?
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: more about it.
• 48:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's.
• 48:07
  Speaker 3: It's called great fruit, which is one word G R E, a-e-a-t-f-r-u-i-t how Cancer Led to Living a More Fruitful Life.
• 48:16
  Speaker 3: You can get it on Amazon online, barnes and Noble online pretty much any of the online bookstores.
• 48:21
  Speaker 3: You can also go to stevegaritycom and it's G-A-R-R-A-T-Y, but stevegaritycom, it's got links in there to the book, my story podcasts.
• 48:33
  Speaker 3: I'll have this up on there once it's live.
• 48:35
  Speaker 3: So yeah, that's stevegaritycom.
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: Are you audible?
• 48:44
  Speaker 3: yet it's funny you should ask it's almost done?
• 48:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's all been recorded.
• 48:51
  Speaker 3: I hired somebody to narrate it and I'm doing the final's almost done.
• 48:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's all, it's all been recorded.
• 48:53
  Speaker 3: Um, I hired somebody to narrate it and, um, I'm doing the final kind of checks on it, but it'll be out in the next week or two.
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: Okay, I was going to say, if you'd ever decide to do a part two, a sequel, my request is that you narrate it yourself.
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: I thought about that.
• 49:09
  Speaker 3: I just, yeah, I, if I wasn't working, I would do that, but I don't know if I have.
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we got time, we got part, part, part.
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: I will.
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: The only reason I say that selfishly is I.
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: I narrated mine and it was very, very.
• 49:27
  Speaker 2: What's the word I'm looking for?
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: I don't know what, how to describe the experience, but, like you, I don't know how to describe the experience, but, like you, I don't know if you, as an author, learn from yourself, but I feel like, in all human, I learned from myself, which reminds me that I'm a flawed human and it reminds me that I have that just because I got a podcast, that doesn't mean I struggle as a dad, just because I wrote a book on leadership and sales and I still struggle with the same things everybody else does 100%.
• 49:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I wish we had met sooner because I I toyed with the idea of doing the narrating myself, but just I didn't think I had the time with the editing and all the stuff that's involved.
• 50:07
  Speaker 3: So yeah, it's.
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: yeah, I mean definitely took time.
• 50:10
  Speaker 2: I was lucky I found a guy to who can do all, because there's so much I didn't know this, but like, every noise thing mattered to a certain decibel to get inside Amazon's Audible store.
• 50:23
  Speaker 2: So that was a lesson learned.
• 50:25
  Speaker 2: Okay, before we get into some shenanigans, steve, if we were to summarize, actually, before I go to that, I wanted to ask about one last question I forgot to ask your journey as a dad.
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: No one's perfect.
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: We all got gaps.
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: My gap I've learned to get a lot better at is patience as a father.
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: Tell me what would be your, as you reflect back on your life as a dad, an area of your dad game that maybe wasn't always what you wish.
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: It was that maybe a younger dad can maybe learn from you to say, man, here's an area of my dad game that if I could go back again, I'd focus on doing X better.
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: Tell me what comes to mind.
• 51:05
  Speaker 3: Man.
• 51:05
  Speaker 3: For me it would always be and I don't know if this falls into what you're asking, but it would always be spending more time with my kids, um, and I felt like I tried to do that, but I also worked a lot, um, so, yeah, it would be like like if I could go back and do it over again, I would have spent a little bit less time in the office, a little bit more time with them.
• 51:29
  Speaker 3: I think I probably spent a little bit more time with my kids than my dad did.
• 51:31
  Speaker 3: I think you know work life balance is like a new term and I think that over over generations, is is changing how we balance work and family is changing how we balance work and family.
• 51:41
  Speaker 3: But I would say it would be like and my message to both my kids would be spend that quality time, especially now with cell phones, like dinner, put the cell phone down.
• 51:51
  Speaker 3: You know, when your kid comes to you and is telling you about their day, like those moments, don't you know?
• 51:57
  Speaker 3: They get into their teens.
• 51:58
  Speaker 3: Those moments don't happen as much, if at all, and so it would be like the quality time and making sure you're dialed in with your kids and that you spend every minute and that you're thankful and blessed for every minute that you get with your kids.
• 52:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well said, if there's a younger dad listening, these aren't cliches.
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: Everybody, we get everybody on.
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: Who's listening, everybody alive, gets 1,440 minutes a day.
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: No one gets more, no one gets less.
• 52:25
  Speaker 2: So we say I don't have time, that's an excuse, that's a story you're telling yourself everybody.
• 52:30
  Speaker 2: And so I think if you want to make the time, you can make time for anything you want to do.
• 52:33
  Speaker 2: I, as Steve's got you know kids in their twenties.
• 52:42
  Speaker 2: I got a 19 year old and a 17 year old tomorrow.
• 52:43
  Speaker 2: We're recording this.
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: On September 4th my daughter turned 17, senior in high school, and I remember yesterday she was in a baby Bjorn, I remember it was, and now I'm almost 50.
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: I'm like, what in the hell, how did this happen?
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: And I remember people telling me that and so now I'm that guy telling those stories.
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: So I think, just if there's a younger dad listening, man, embrace it.
• 53:02
  Speaker 2: Listen to what Steve said.
• 53:03
  Speaker 2: Time is a precious, a precious thing that we all get, and so maximize it each and every day.
• 53:11
  Speaker 2: As we wrap up, steve, if you were to summarize everything we've talked about, that a dad or a mom or a grandma, anybody listen can take from our conversation day and apply.
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: We'll call it.
• 53:23
  Speaker 2: You know two or three themes or actual advice to they can apply in their own life as a dad, to become that ultimate quarterback or leader of their home.
• 53:30
  Speaker 2: Tell me what comes to mind.
• 53:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I would say it's, and you can instill this on your kids and I've tried to do this with mine.
• 53:37
  Speaker 3: I, you know.
• 53:38
  Speaker 3: I would say it's life's adversity and things that come up in our life.
• 53:42
  Speaker 3: Um, one is being resilient and getting through that and leaning on people.
• 53:47
  Speaker 3: I mentioned my small circle, that um of people that helped me get through it.
• 53:51
  Speaker 3: But I would say one is be resilient, lean on your you know, your network, lean on the people close to you that can help you get through it.
• 54:07
  Speaker 3: And then, once you either for me it took getting through it to start to look back and reflect on how can I, how can I grow from that experience and I've tried to instill that on on both my kids and when you do have setbacks, whether it's, you know, losing a job or whatever it is in life, how can you grow from it, how can you improve?
• 54:23
  Speaker 3: I would say that's probably the big message and then getting through it, just leaning on those that people want to help.
• 54:32
  Speaker 3: They may not always know the right thing to say when you're going through something, but sometimes just having those folks close to you just sit there and just be there can help you get through something.
• 54:43
  Speaker 3: So, leaning on people and letting them know when you need the help, and then look, then figuring out how do I grow from this experience?
• 54:50
  Speaker 3: Love it.
• 54:52
  Speaker 2: Well said, man.
• 54:52
  Speaker 2: If people want to connect with you on social, you've shared your website.
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: Is there any other social links you like to share with people where they can connect with you on social?
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: You've shared your website.
• 55:00
  Speaker 2: Is there any other?
• 55:00
  Speaker 3: social links you like to share with people where they can connect with you.
• 55:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, steve Garrity, author is pretty much on both Instagram and Facebook, and then on LinkedIn, steve Garrity.
• 55:06
  Speaker 3: Again, it's G-A-R-R-A-T-Y.
• 55:09
  Speaker 3: Most people want to spell it I-T-Y, but it's A-T-Y.
• 55:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, linkedin I use LinkedIn every day.
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: Awesome.
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: We'll make sure you're tagged there, steve.
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: It's now time to go into the lightning round, which I show you the negative hits of taking too many hits in college not bong hits, but football hits.
• 55:26
  Speaker 2: Your job is to answer these questions as quickly as you can.
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: My job is to try to get a giggle out of you.
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: Awesome, okay, true or false?
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: You once kicked a 40-yard field goal at Georgia to win the Peach Bowl, I wish, but false, okay, tell me, if you're going to go on vacation right now, you and your wife, where are we going?
• 55:44
  Speaker 3: That's easy.
• 55:45
  Speaker 3: We're going to Ireland in November.
• 55:46
  Speaker 3: Never have been and, obviously, garrity, our heritage is from Ireland and my son is bringing his fiance, so they're going to be there for two days.
• 55:57
  Speaker 3: They're going gonna be with us.
• 55:58
  Speaker 3: So, um, yeah, can't wait for that trip very cool.
• 56:02
  Speaker 2: Uh favorite 80s comedy movie is, uh caddyshack solid choice.
• 56:08
  Speaker 2: Uh, what would be one genre music that uh your friends would be surprised to listen to?
• 56:16
  Speaker 3: um, I don't know what you would call it, but lincoln park is probably one of my top favorite bands and when people.
• 56:22
  Speaker 3: I've been to their shows before and I'm the oldest, oldest person in the audience, so probably Lincoln Park, maybe heavy alternative.
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: I came to your house for dinner tonight, steve, what would we have?
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: Uh, mexican, okay, um, if there was a book written about your life, tell me the title great fruit.
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: There we go.
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: Weird, it's already out.
• 56:43
  Speaker 2: Okay, now they're going to turn great, great fruit into a critically acclaimed, hit new movie that's going to just crush it.
• 56:55
  Speaker 2: And netflix and hulu, they're fighting for this.
• 56:57
  Speaker 2: They want, they want to get this, this thing, made into movie.
• 57:00
  Speaker 2: You are now the casting director, steve.
• 57:01
  Speaker 2: Tell me who's going to star you in this critically acclaimed, hit new movie.
• 57:05
  Speaker 3: Well, in the book there's a young me and an old me, so two answers.
• 57:08
  Speaker 3: Probably Timothee Chalamet, because he was in a movie where he's got issues similar to I do in my book that he did a phenomenal job in with Steve Carell.
• 57:20
  Speaker 3: And then the older me would be Nicolas Cage.
• 57:23
  Speaker 3: I've always liked him.
• 57:24
  Speaker 3: My wife doesn't know why, but I've just always been a Nicolas Cage fan.
• 57:28
  Speaker 2: Solid.
• 57:29
  Speaker 2: Okay, and then last question tell me two words that would describe your wife.
• 57:35
  Speaker 3: She is entrepreneurial and a strong leader, both professionally and then in the home.
• 57:43
  Speaker 2: Solid.
• 57:43
  Speaker 2: Well done, steve.
• 57:45
  Speaker 2: We've made it to the lightning round.
• 57:46
  Speaker 2: I am so grateful that John Kaplan and Rachel Klatt-Miller have introduced us.
• 57:52
  Speaker 2: I'm grateful our paths have crossed.
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: I can't wait to meet you in person.
• 57:55
  Speaker 2: I can't wait to see where the power of this connection goes, and I'm excited to have people listen to this episode, share it with somebody else that maybe has gone through a challenge.
• 58:05
  Speaker 2: Pick up your book.
• 58:06
  Speaker 2: We'll make sure that's linked in the in the show notes.
• 58:09
  Speaker 2: We'll make sure that uh, steve, the, uh, the sales leader is also linked in the show notes on LinkedIn, so people can connect with you that way.
• 58:17
  Speaker 2: But I'm grateful for your time.
• 58:18
  Speaker 2: I'm grateful for your time.
• 58:24
  Speaker 2: I'm grateful for your story.
• 58:24
  Speaker 2: I'm grateful that there's people like you in this world that have gone through such challenging times yet have the strength and ability to articulate what you went through in such a meaningful and encouraging way.
• 58:32
  Speaker 2: So bravo to you on the book and congrats on also becoming a grandfather.
• 58:37
  Speaker 2: I can only imagine the joy in your heart from that experience too.
• 58:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, thanks, casey.
• 58:42
  Speaker 3: It's been an honor and a pleasure being on your show you bet, mel, we'll talk to you soon.